December 1st saw us back like clockwork. We disembarked and after bidding Lowe goodbye for the holidays, I made my way to Lightoller's house and used the key he'd given me to unlock the door and step in.
"Charles?" I called, shutting the door and tossing the key onto my purse. "Are you back yet?" he should have been back the same day as me. Oh well, sometimes unloading a ship was a prolonged affair and I wasn't about to worry about him. His housekeeper had been taking care of the place and he had it looking very nice. I saw the window seat, which I'd taken up much of the time on during the British inquiry. I'd sat there so many times and thought about Murdoch...
Anyway, I was getting tired and it was almost noon. I'd spent the last night on board teaching the new parents how to nurse the child and they hadn't mastered the art until 2 AM that morning. My eyes were threatening to close and I stumbled towards the couch in the living room and sat down, tossing off my uniform jacket. Relaxing back, I sighed happily, closing my eyes and putting my legs up.
Thankfully I did not dream. Time passed me by and I went deeper into sleep.
"Katrina?" coming awake bit by bit, I kept my eyes closed, half in the sleep that had claimed me earlier. Listening, I heard the door open and footsteps. Lightoller had walked in then, looking around and seeing my stuff on and beside the kitchen table, he shut the door with a loud thunk and crossed into the living room. He put his things down and walked over to me. I must have looked a real sight then, still in my uniform white shirt and pants all rumpled, my hair still back in the chignon, my hat draped over the side of the couch arm. He knelt down and I could feel his breath on my face as he appraised my person.
"Back safe and sound, I see," he said in a low voice. Lightoller picked up one of my arms and put it across my chest from where it had been hanging down off the side. "I'm glad." he kissed my forehead and got up.
That was the last thing I remembered for awhile.
When I woke up, I stretched and yawned first off. Lightoller's couch was quite comfortable and when I looked around, he was nowhere to be seen. I was about to get up and look for him when he came into the living room. He looked refreshed, clad in his everyday clothes, and he was hanging up his winter uniform and the summer one. Lightoller turned and saw me, a smile lit up his face as he sat on the armchair that was the closest to my side.
"Finally awake, I see," he teased me fondly.
"How long has it been?" I sat up.
"I got in at noon. What time did you get in?"
"Ten AM." I answered, reaching up and pulling a pin out of my hair so the braid flopped down my back. I liked short hair and always had a small braid. Lightoller flicked a stray curl from my face as I watched him, still tired.
"Then you've been asleep 4 hours. I got in and saw you sleeping on my couch. Have a tough time on the Celtic?"
"No. I had to perform surgery, though."
"On who?"
"I had to cut open a lady to remove her baby, that's all. I did it with Brannigan's help and everyone was fine. The newborn had colic and I was up all night last night, helping the mother look after her new daughter." I rubbed my eyes. "Still feels like I didn't sleep at all."
"Get changed and come back in here," Lightoller ordered me. "we should decorate the old place for Christmas. It's coming up, remember?"
"Yes, chief officer!" I laughed and picked up my suitcase.
Attired in a brown skirt and a white blouse rolled up at the sleeves, I came prancing in with no shoes and looked over at Lightoller for his approval. Since my skirts hid the fact I wasn't wearing any shoes, he didn't notice. We both made up a late lunch, then we pulled out a few old and faded Christmas decorations. We passed a companionable few hours together, giggling and joking, swapping stories about the past 3 months. I told him of the time Lowe and I pranked the head steward once, short sheeting his bed and covering his face with lather as he slept. Lightoller told me of some of the jokes he played, including Fort Dennison in Australia.
At suppertime, I went out on a grocery shopping run while Lightoller went and got his things unpacked. We the lucky few had gotten Christmas off that year, as the tourist season was winding down. Cunard was doing the Christmas runs across the Atlantic with their 2 greyhouds, the Mauretania and the Lusitania. The Aquitania had to be retrofitted, as vibration was very prominent in that ship. In the harbor, the ships Lightoller and I were on were docked for the month, Lowe had gone up to Wales to be with his family, and I knew nothing about Boxhall, Moody or Pitman.
"Oh Kat," Lightoller called as I came in. "post for you."
"Goody." I accepted the envelope and sat down on the couch in the living room. "What have we here?"
"Kat?" Lightoller came in, wiping his hands on a dish towel. "All right?"
"Yeah, it's OK. It's just a letter from James."
"Moody? How is he?"
"Good. He's on board the Olympic right now and says he finds it a bit overwhelming after Titanic."
"I would too." Lightoller agreed. "What do you want for supper?"
"Anything's good. I'm not picky." I waved a hand, dismissing him as I read on. Moody didn't really say much, except he and Pitman were going home to their families for the holidays, he wished me and Charles a happy Christmas, etc, etc. I wrote a response to him at the boarding house address he listed at the bottom, telling him that Lightoller and I were companionable friends in the same house, even if we did get on each other's nerves from time to time. I didn't think he was used to strong-willed women like me. I told Moody of the Cesarean section I had to perform and some of Lowe's pranks on other people.
When I was done, I stamped the envelope, addressed it, then put it in the post box. Lightoller and I had a quiet supper and we lounged in the living room where I caught Lightoller looking at me with that look in his eyes I'd noticed once or twice before. Was he really getting sweet on me? Thinking that I was reminiscing about Murdoch? It was so hard to tell sometimes!
"What are you thinking, Charles?"
He cleared his throat like a child caught in an act of naughtiness. "Nothing much."
He was getting sweet on me! Sooner or later he'd make a move on me and how would I handle it? I had no idea. Shoving that to the back of my mind, I engrossed myself in a book of Dickens while Lightoller picked up an old copy of Norrie's Seamanship Guide and read as well.
Whatever happened would and I decided just to take it one day at a time. It wasn't all about the promise Lightoller had made Murdoch before he died. I supposed it was friendly love which caused Lightoller to tend to my burned back after the swimming that day. But maybe it was something more that had him stay all night with me, making sure that I was comfortable as possible. I know he missed me when I went on the Celtic with Lowe, I had gotten a few letters from him in that time. Which part was the more than friends, the love that one man had for one lady and which was just being friends?
When I went to bed that night, I was wondering these things and then I came to the conclusion that Lightoller had developed feelings for me and so far he'd kept them under wraps. I thought that I would return those feelings and maybe more when he made a move on me one of those days. He was leading and I would follow.
Three weeks later on our holiday pay, I went shopping for Lightoller's Christmas present. It took me forever but I found a few things to give him! Everyone was having a sale and I took my time to peruse all the wares. Remembering that Lightoller didn't carry a knife, I bought him one with a mother-of-pearl handle that clicked open and shut with one flick of the wrist. I found an updated version of Norrie's Seamanship and bought it. He liked assembling model boats and loved to fish, but I thought I'd leave those alone.
I never had the patience to assemble model boats. I'd always get frustrated and swear a lot!
I dropped off the packages in my room, slipped a deposit receipt into my folder, then picked out a ten pound note for the afternoon of shopping. Lightoller was helping out at the White Star Line offices, helping get a new roster planned for some new liners coming up. I departed the house, locking it up tightly, then strolled off down the lane. It had snowed the night before, coating everything with a fine white film of the powdery substance. Putting on my gloves, I adjusted my scarf and went down among the street stalls. The next day, Lightoller was to go and visit with one of his sisters for the day and I would be happy to have the house to myself for that amount of time. I'd been nervous living alone before, right after Daniel. I was always terrified that I'd open up the door and he'd be there, ready to injure me afresh, but that never happened. It wasn't until I let my guard down that it happened!
Well, Daniel and all the nasty memories were gone now, for which I was happy. Wilde had told me that I was much better without someone who abused me and I knew what he was talking about. Wilde had loved and lost and then lost himself, when you think about it. He had been pretty blase in the last moments of the ship, standing there and smoking when all the boats had gone. I'd said goodbye to him of course, then he had perished.
My achievement for that horrid night was saving Moody's life. Without me, he'd have gotten sucked down into the ship and probably incinerated against the still hot boilers. I'd grabbed him, hauled him away from the suction and we'd gotten into a nearby boat. Moody's father had posted me a heartfelt letter, thanking me for saving his son's life. I'd written back, saying that Moody was a great young man and if I had to save one person that night I was glad it was him. Murdoch had pushed me to save myself and so he'd really saved me when you thought about it. It was just like him, saving the ones that he loved.
"All right missy, where's your cash?" a masked burglar accosted me at the far end of the street stalls.
"I don't have any! Piss off!" I'd stowed my cash in a place where nobody would ever think to look for it in case something like this had ever happened to me.
"Bitch!" the guy pulled out a knife and slashed it at my lower ribcage. He knocked me down, giving me a bruise on my left temple, then kicked me in the stomach. I was left wheezing in the corner of the alley as I bled. Getting up took all my efforts and I had to pull my scarf off, wad it up, then press it against my wound. I didn't want to draw attention to myself so I moved towards the part where the crowds were the thinnest and made my way home.
"Charles?" I called as I got home. Please be home! I thought. I wasn't about to stitch myself up!
Blast it, he wasn't home! I went over to the telephone and rang up the White Star Line office, telling him that I needed Lightoller at home and urgently. The receptionist dutifully relayed my request and I knew he was coming. It would take about 10 minutes to get home from the offices but would I be able to hold onto my senses until then? I scribbled a note, telling Lightoller which number to call and what doctor to summon.
"Attacked by a crook in an alley." I also wrote. Pressing down tighter on the scarf, my vision went fuzzy and the world began to spin out of control. It was too much for me to keep up with, my eyes began to close, and I fell to the floor, blacking out completely.
Vaguely aware of movements near me, I became a little aware of the fact that I was being taken into my room. Surely enough, a warm and cushiony mattress received me and I tried to open my eyes but they were very heavy.
"I think she's waking up, sir." Lightoller's voice sounded. Someone seized my hand and squeezed it. I was too weak to reply back to it and I heard another familiar voice.
"Not to worry. She'll be right as rain soon enough. Trouble does seem to follow her." Brannigan. "She'll need to be asleep for the stitches, though." he gave me a shot of anesthetic which carried me off into the dark recesses of my subconscious mind for what seemed like a long time.
When I came out from under, I felt sick and tired. My wound was stitched up soundly, though it throbbed, and I was a bit uncomfortable. Turning to see Lightoller sitting beside my bed perusing a book, I watched him until he noticed me looking.
"Well, awake at last!" he exclaimed nervously. "Your shipmate or colleague was here and he gave you a stitching up."
"I know," I grunted. "I could hear you both for a little while."
"We did notice that you were starting to wake up as Brannigan was about to stitch your wounds closed," Lightoller picked up my hand like he'd been so accustomed to doing over the past months. "I got the fright of my life, getting in here after your call and seeing you lying in your own blood. I found the note, called Brannigan, and he was very nice to me."
"He would. He's a great guy." I made to sit up, but Lightoller stopped me.
"You should know better," he lightly chastised, easing me back down. "you'll go lightheaded and probably faint again."
"Oh, I'll behave," I sighed. "I'm so grateful to you, Charles. I don't like to think of what would become of me if you weren't there."
"I wouldn't want to think about it. Now, go to sleep. You've lost a lot of blood and you need rest."
"Yes master." I mocked playfully, lying back and closing my eyes.