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Dreams Don't Turn to Dust

Chapter 14 – Once Upon a Time

(BPOV)

That day, I ended up coming home earlier than Alice. I told her that I needed to go home since my head was aching terribly. She quickly believed me because she knew that I had migraine.

The real reason why I left was because of Renee. Every time that I look at her, she reminded me of my mother. The only photo that I have of my mother was taken before I was born. She was still young then. I was just so confused because Renee looked so much like her. All that was clear to me now was that I needed to talk to my dad.

When I got home, Charlie was already there. He was in the kitchen, getting the just getting the pasta that he heated from the oven. I noticed that Charlie looked much older since I left. There were some gray on his hair and a few wrinkles on his face. He looked so stressed.

"Hey, Dad," I greeted.

He turned and looked at me. He gave me a small smile. "Hey, Bells."

"How's your day?"

"Fine, not really eventful, you?"

Instead of answering his question, I asked another one.

"Dad, have you ever thought where Mom went?" I asked curiously.

It was the first time that I asked Charlie about Renee. We never really talked about her, since we knew that the topic hurt the both of us. I was just really contended with having him before.

"It's time I tell you...I know where she went," he said guiltily.

My eyes widened in shock with what he said. I didn't notice it, but words just kept flying out of my mouth. I was angry at him for lying at me. He should have told me a long time ago. This was just not a simple thing.

"I thought you said that she just mysteriously disappeared. Why did you lie to me! All my life you let me believe that my mom didn't care about me!" I seethed.

Charlie's face dropped. He looked so guilty and pained.

"She loves you Bells, she just left because she wanted you to be happy," he said calmly.

Tears were streaming down my face. Everything was just so confusing. I need the answers to my too many questions right now.

"I don't understand," I cried.

"When we got together, she was already married. She was not happy then because she was married by her parents at a very young age. So I met her in a library. Every time that I go there, she was also there. We got to know each other. Before we knew it, we were already into deep; we were in love. Months passed and we grew closer and more attached. We sneak out every night to meet up in our secret place.

"Soon, her parents knew about us. They threatened me and my family. They were rich and powerful so they can do anything they want. But we didn't let them intimidate us.

"We ran away. We bought a small house in Forks, our old house. After two weeks we knew that she was pregnant with you. I swear I never saw her so happy and excited since she had you. We lived so happy then. Our life was just simple; I work as a police there while she stays at home to take care of you. We were contented with the simple things that we had.

"We thought that her parents wouldn't bother us again. But we were wrong. Eight months after she gave birth to you, she suddenly disappeared. She only left me a letter telling that she needed to leave because her parents found us. She was afraid of what they might do to you...to us that's why she just came with them. She wanted us to be at peace. She didn't want us to suffer.

"The last thing that I knew about her was that they were heading to Texas. I'm really so sorry, Bells. I should have told you long ago, I was such a coward." From the look on his face, he was stopping tears from falling down.

Charlie handed me a glass of water, and I took it without looking at him. I gulped the water. It helped for my dry throat and for my breathing. When I have calmed myself, I started thinking. Renee, Jasper's mother, was also my mother.

"I saw her earlier," I confessed, fresh tears were rolling down my cheeks.

Charlie looked shocked than ever. His face paled.

"She's here?" he asked slowly.

"She's actually in Sammamish with her husband and son," I answered while wiping the tears in the corners of my eyes.

"Why is...how did you know? Did you see her?" he stuttered as he asked.

I nodded. "Alice's boyfriend is her son. I saw her earlier."

"How was she?" he asked with concern.

My chest hurt when I answered, "She looks happy."

"Oh." Dad gave me a sad smile. I understand how he felt.

"She didn't know that I was her daughter. I don't think that I'll be ever telling her. She's happy, I don't want to disrupt." I wiped the last tears that fell down on my cheeks. "And oh, Dad, did you sell the house in Forks?" I asked.

He shook his head. Thank God.

The next day, I found myself on the road to Forks with Edward. I asked him yesterday if he could come with me, he instantly said yes. I felt a pang of guilt with what I asked him since I know that he would suffer after his days off the med school. I was being selfish and I knew that, but he was the only one who can calm me and give me peace even just for a while.

After almost four hours, we were there. I was staring at the house where I was born. It was just a small white two storey house. The windows were clouded with dust and it needed to be repainted badly. It had been twenty-three years since anyone stepped inside. This house was once the happiest house, a young in love couple together with their daughter used to live there. Now it looked so empty and hollow. Just so depressing.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Edward asked thoughtfully.

"Yeah," I answered with conviction.

With that, he went out and he opened the door for me. After I got out, we started getting our bags from the backseat.

It was raining today. The weather here was pretty much worse than in Seattle. Everything here was much greener. Edward and I were walking carefully since the ground was very slippery. I couldn't live in a place like this with my clumsiness.

I used the key that Charlie gave me earlier to open the door. When we got inside, it was very dusty that I couldn't stop sneezing and coughing. It was just very dusty.

The walls were filled with our family pictures and with pictures of Charlie and Renée. I was just a baby on the pictures. Charlie and Renee looked young, fearless, happy and in love. I wish that I could still see them look like that again, but I know that it was impossible. I understand why Charlie left the house, but he couldn't sell it. It held so much happy memories. The furniture were covered with white cloth. We removed them and then we decided to head upstairs to choose a room.

In one of the doors, I saw my name hanging. My name 'ISABELLA' was carved in wood that was painted with different colors. I smiled. Tears were forming around my eyes, but I didn't care. This was my room; this was supposed to be where I grew up. Edward looked at me worriedly.

"I'm fine," I told him before he could even ask.

The only thing that I told him about this once was that we once lived here when my mom was still with us. I entwined my hand with his before opening the door, bracing myself on what I was about to see.

There, I saw an old wooden crib, a small desk, a twin sized bed and a nightstand with a lampshade. The walls were painted purple and there was a dirty pale yellow curtain.

When I look around, I could almost imagine how Renée looked like while taking care of me. I could imagine Charlie wrapping an arm around her while she was feeding me. It was just in daydream where I could see and experience this.

"Let's clean up?" I asked.

"Sure," he answered with a crooked smile.

...

Two hours past midnight we were done. I was very exhausted and feeling dirty. My skin felt sticky with dirt and sweat. I need to shower badly. There were only two bathrooms in the house, one in the first floor and one in the second floor.

"Bella, let's have dinner," Edward said while entering the house. He just came home from buying foods in a 24-hour convenience store.

"Sure."

We headed to the kitchen. Edward took the sandwiches, bottled waters and canned beers.

"Oh, are you trying to get me drunk?" I teased, pointing at the beer.

Edward chuckled.

"Just wanted to calm your nerves, you look so stressed lately. Will you tell me why we went here?"

"I'll tell you later," I promised.

"Okay," he mumbled.

...

Half an hour later, we had downed the beers, showered and got ready for bed.

Edward offered to just sleep on the couch downstairs, but I told him to just stay with me since I didn't want to be alone. So we ended up in my room. He was on the floor, lying on the extra mattress while I was on my small bed.

Even though I was tired, I found it difficult to sleep. I keep tossing and turning until I decided to give up on sleep.

"Ugh!" I groaned.

"You're still awake," Edward said softly.

"Can't sleep," I mumbled.

"Me neither."

I didn't know what came to my mind, but I stood up and then I sat on the mattress beside him. He stared at me for a few and then he stared at nothingness. It was as if he was thinking of something.

"I came here because I saw my mother yesterday. She was Alice's boyfriend's mother. Jasper is my half-brother," I confessed.

In a split-second, he was also in a sitting position. He was staring at me worriedly again. His eyes were filled of concern for me. I was crazy, but it gave me some sort of comfort. He was hesitant to touch me, but he still placed his hands on top of mine.

"Bella...I don't really know what to say. You're going through a lot," he said, a bit unsure.

"You don't need to say anything. Just stay with me, and I'll be fine," I assured him.

He shook his head.

"I'm so—"

"No. Would you mind if I sleep here with you?" I asked, faking a smile.

I saw in the faint light that he didn't believe that I was all right. He knew me too much that sometimes it was scary. But it was also a relief since he also knew how to comfort me and make me feel better.

That night, he held me in his arms, whispering comforting words and sweet nothings in my ear. He sang me the lullaby that he composed for me when we were still juniors. He continued humming until I fell asleep.

I took all the comfort that he gave me. I took it greedily, because I knew that there would be a time that he wouldn't be there with me. I was taking it all, because I was afraid that I might break down if I don't. I didn't know how I would be able to take the pain that this house has if he wasn't there. Edward was my strength and also my weakness at the same time.

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