Alex woke up early, itching to start her day. After Maggie had fallen asleep, she'd tossed and turned through most of the night, unable to quiet her mind. She and Kara had texted back and forth for a while, and now that she had a better understanding of how Violet had been thinking she just wanted to fix it, if that was even possible.
Alex slipped out of bed but hesitated and turned as she made her way to the closet. She watched Maggie shift and murmur something to herself in her sleep and she felt her heart melt. There was sunlight streaming in through the window, but the warmth she was feeling was entirely from within. Alex frequently stopped herself and just reveled in the fact that Maggie was with her, had chosen her, and was such an unexpectedly amazing fit into every facet of her life. Sometimes she still couldn't believe how different her life was from a year ago – and that was before the surprise kid that had been dropped in her lap yesterday. She slipped into some casual D.E.O. gear without taking her eyes off of the woman sprawled out in her bed. She was pretty sure sleeping people were supposed to snore, or have drool leaking out of the side of their mouth, or just straight up have an ugly sleep face. But Maggie? Somehow she was still perfect.
And of course thinking about how perfect Maggie was just made Alex want to kick herself even more; she hated that she'd lied to her last night. About Violet. There was just so much complexity wrapped up in layers of unanswerable questions; one question specifically. And while she hadn't exactly asked Violet outright who her other mother was, it certainly wasn't something that she'd offered up on her own. Was it presumptive to think that she and Maggie were in a serious enough relationship that she could wonder if Violet might be hers too? Could she be depriving Maggie of the very same opportunity that she had been so upset to have lost out on herself? The opportunity to spend time with her daughter?
Alex tried not to dwell on that. Violet was a visitor, she wasn't even going to be here long enough for Alex to figure out if that kind of conversation with Maggie would be helpful or harmful. They hadn't exactly talked about some of the more serious relationship questions yet; like marriage, or future kids, or literal future kids… she told herself it wasn't worth risking the potential conflict just to be honest about something she couldn't explain.
Alex did her best to push the unease from her mind as she made her way through the apartment, dropped a little note on the counter for Maggie about dinner that night, and set the coffee pot to brew as she silently slipped out the door.
Alex stopped just outside Kara's apartment door, gathering her thoughts. She had practically been on autopilot the entire drive over, leaving her mind free to focus on other things. Like what Kara and Violet had talked about the night before, and whether it was enough to convince Violet that she could maybe start to let her in a little. She had formulated a flawless plan while she'd waited on her donuts; she would let Violet take the lead and come to her, no matter how counterintuitive it felt. She wouldn't push, she wouldn't pry, she would just be the cool, laid back, younger version of however Violet remembered her. Not a mom, not a ghost, just there for her in whatever capacity she could handle.
Alex squared her shoulders, shifted her box of donuts, and slowly raised a loose fist to knock. Kara opened the door before her knuckles even connected with the door. "Hey! You've been standing out here for like five minutes, you ok?" Kara asked quietly.
"I, yeah of course. Just… preparing," Alex shook off her apprehension and smiled at her sister. She stepped tentatively into the apartment and looked around for Violet.
"She's out on the balcony, but she's been waiting for you to get here. She seems a lot less… stressed… today. Probably thanks to some Aunt Kara magic," Kara grinned, winked, and snatched the box of donuts out of her hands.
"Yeah? All you huh? That's good… I'll just… I'll just go and say hi," Alex responded as casually as she could feign. Which was futile considering she was already halfway to the balcony door, doing her best to ignore the fact that her big plan to let Violet come to her had already flown very far out the window.
As Alex opened the door she spotted Violet in the corner, leaning into the railing with a mug in her hands, watching the city below. The morning breeze was soft and calm, bringing the slightest chill with it. Alex hesitated briefly as Violet looked up at her and stood up straight. Alex didn't even get a chance to open her mouth before Violet spoke up.
"Hi. Listen, I um. I'm sorry about last night. I didn't mean to push you away like that. Well," Violet frowned, "I did I guess. At the time. But I was wrong. Kara kind of made me look at this whole thing a little differently. Like maybe I don't have to just protect myself from feeling… things."
"Like pain. When you look at me. I know you and Kara talked, I'm so sorry that being around me is so complicated for you," Alex hated that Violet had such a hard time looking at her, but she'd be lying if she said she didn't get it. She rested her forearms on the edge of the balcony, and Violet relaxed and smiled to herself as she mirrored her.
"I kind of figured she would; you guys never really did secrets, even when it came to me. But yeah… she told me how much she would give to see her parents again, even just for a little while. Which is kind of what I've got right now, so. Second chance?"
And just like that, it was like the weight of the world had been lifted off Alex's shoulders, "I can't tell you how happy I am to hear that," Alex breathed, smile spreading across her face, "but promise me that you'll be honest with me, ok? If you need me to back off, tell me, and I will." After hearing how Violet had been thinking last night she'd resigned herself to staying away so she didn't cause her any more anxiety. Which was ok, she could make herself live with taking a step back and letting Violet be. But now? Finding out that she didn't have to made it immensely clear how desperately she hadn't wanted to.
"Promise," Violet smiled back, and Alex couldn't help but take note of how genuine it was. It radiated from her eyes and her face and her whole self. There was nothing forced about it, which for Alex was even more significant than what Violet had said to her.
"Now, you and I better get in there before Kara eats every single donut in that box," Alex nudged Violet's shoulder with hers. She wanted nothing more than to just stay out here and bask in her kid's much more tranquil presence, but she was acutely aware of how quickly Kara could make her way through a couple dozen donuts. Violet laughed silently and looked down into her mug before straightening herself up and following Alex inside.
Kara, mouth full of bear claw, beamed as she watched Alex and Violet come through the door. She slid the box of remaining donuts across the counter as they both headed over. Violet hopped up onto a barstool and grabbed a donut before Kara pulled the box back towards her and took another three.
Violet took a bite, closed her eyes and leaned back in her chair. "Mmm. You know, I don't think anyone should go this long without a donut. Cruel and unusual."
Alex watched Violet and grinned as she took a bite of her own. "You should try an apple fritter next, they're to die for."
"Those always were your favorite." Violet responded absentmindedly, relaxed and calm. Like talking about her past wasn't excruciating. Like her decision to focus on the positive aspects of this… adventure… might actually be possible.
Alex's heart nearly skipped a beat as she realized Violets eyes were still shining and she didn't seem to be losing herself in the memory. As much as she felt like celebrating, she decided not to call too much attention to it. "Good. Alien invasions and time travel is one thing, but a future where apple fritters aren't the greatest thing ever invented? Unfathomable."
Kara immediately stopped herself from taking another bite, "Um, hey, let's not be hasty here, bear claws –"
"Shut up, even your almighty bear claw pales in comparison to the apple fritter," Alex shot back as Violet giggled. Giggled. Alex let the sound wash over her, suddenly feeling like she understood what it meant to truly not have a care in the world. This little 'bubble breakfast' was perfect, Violet was perfect. And she was going to savor every second of it before they had to get back to work. "So. How was your night? Things here were a little more comfortable than the apocalypse, I assume?"
Violet raised her eyebrows in mock ecstasy, "Showers are amazing. Real food is amazing. Beds are amazing. And this donut? Amazing. If this is what it's like to take a vacation from the end of the world, then I have nothing but good things to say about it."