Chapter 14

After talking to Tom about her date went and getting some sleep, Jon was finally sure of who he wanted to be with.

Neither of them.

With Christina, he still had a lot of love for her, but it was clear that her cheating wasn't going to end soon. Plus, their constant arguments were really taking a toll on him. He planned on at least taking a break from the relationship and coming back when both of them felt it was right to start working towards planning their wedding.

Amber was a tricky situation. In past, he never really cared who she was with; he figured as long as he could get her to be intimate with him in some way, then she'd be like putty in his hands. Looking back at it, he realized that was entirely wrong of him. But then he also realized that he was doing the same thing, except this time she wasn't with anyone. He was basically trying to force himself into her life. It seemed like the most obvious thing in the world, but he was only just catching on to it.

If they were truly meant to be together, then they'd find a way. Until then, he decided that he'd live his life as if she wasn't looming over his head constantly.

No more relationship drama, no more complicated messes; it was just him and WWE, and maybe things would sort itself out along the way.

He just wished he never bought that damn dress so she wouldn't be so enticing to him.

"You know you're not supposed to kiss on the first date… Right?"

Amber looked up from her book and raised an eyebrow. "Huh?"

"You kissed Stefano on the first date. You're supposed to wait until the third date to kiss him," he said, genuinely shocked that he had to explain this to her. "How many people have you been on dates with?"

She never really counted, but she knew it wasn't a lot, considering her trust in men was never really that high, despite what dumb decisions she made. "Four, excluding Stefano," she said before turning her attention back to her book.

"That's actually higher than I thought it would be..." he mumbled before clearing his throat. "Did you kiss any of them on the first date?"

"Well, since all my information is just a click away for you, I'll just say it anyway." She took a deep breath as she placed her book on the coffee table. "I kissed all but one on the first date," she said, looking up to remember the exact details. "The first one, I full on made out with him before he nearly sexually assaulted me. The second one, I kissed him long before our first actual date. With Jon, I lost my virginity to him the day before our first date. And the last one was repulsive, so I never kissed him."

Tom sat there, slowly nodding long after she finished talking. "Your history with men suck," he stated before gluing his eyes back to his phone.

"Tell me about it," she sighed. "I mean, considering Jon settled down after a while, I wouldn't say it was that bad."

"But then cheated on you with a fetish wrestler and hid a drug addiction from you. It was pretty bad, Amber," he said as he shook her head. "He's not a terrible person, but I do think he needs to clean up his act."

She raised an eyebrow and looked at him. "She was a fetish wrestler?"

"You're focusing on the wrong thing, but yes," he nodded, bringing his drink up to his mouth.

"I'm sorry; it's just that talking about my horrible track record with men makes me feel like a dumb failure," she sighed as she raked her fingers through her hair.

"Don't beat yourself up; I was in a relationship with a girl for four years and she cheated on me all the time. I knew she was, but I was in love, so I ignored it," he said with a smile. "I don't even know where she is now; I just know that when I broke up with her, she didn't even seem to mind."

"Sounds nice," Amber joked. "You know, as annoying as you are, you're don't seem like you'd make a completely horrible partner," she said with a smile.

"Is that a—"

"No, it isn't an invitation," she laughed as she shook her head. "I'm trying to say that maybe you should stop focusing on me finding someone to be with, and instead find someone yourself. It shouldn't be that hard for you."

"Trust me, I would, but…" he sighed then shook his head. "I don't have much confidence. I try to fake it, but it comes off as creepy rather than sexy."

Hearing that from him honestly shocked her, considering when she met him he seemed to be overflowing the confidence. She couldn't believe that he was faking it. As much as it annoyed her that he was always touching her, he admired that he at least didn't look down on himself, because she desperately wished that she could live life without putting herself down. "Maybe your approach was just wrong."

"What do you mean by that?"

"There's nothing wrong with faking confidence, but maybe you were being too confident. Not in the egotistical sense, just that you were trying too hard to sell it, and that's what made you come off as creepy," she said with a shrug. "I might be wrong, though," she admitted.

He shook his head, a smile slowly forming on his face. "No, that actually sounds like it could be right. Shit, I probably would've even gotten you if I realized this sooner," he joked, earning a smack in the arm from her. "Do you always have to be so violent?" he laughed as he rubbed his arm.

"You're so annoying," she said, rolling her eyes. "You're so lucky that I don't want to get rid of you."

"Of course you don't wanna get rid of me; I'm amazing," he joked.

"Yeah, whatever Tom."

"I want a break," Jon said, Christina sitting on the couch next to him. "I know you're cheating on me still, and don't bother denying it. And to be honest, I haven't exactly been faithful either," he admitted. He waited for her to say something about it, but she just sat there, her arms folded across her chest as she stared straight ahead. "I don't want a break so I can fuck other people, if that's what you're thinking."

"Then why do you want it?" she snapped, looking him straight in the eyes. "You're doing it now; why not continue?"

Jon sighed and shook his head. "I expected that, so I don't even care. Point is, the break is so that we'd sort our individual shit out first, then we can fix our shit together, then we can be on our way to plan the wedding. Unless you want to leave, which I wouldn't blame you for since you just found out I cheated on you."

"I don't wanna leave," she sighed. "And you're right; I have been cheating on you. But, I still love you, and I don't think I can ever stop loving you. I know I've been against taking a break for so long, but at this point, that's the only thing that can save the relationship. I mean, you actually cheated. I never thought you would do that in a million years. I may have accused you of doing it before, but I never really meant it."

In his head, all he could do was laugh at that statement. He's cheated so much in the past that the concept of not being seen as a cheater caught him so off guard, and the thought was both hilarious and sad. "So it's settled, right?"

"Yeah. Question is, where am I gonna go?" she asked. "I can't exactly move in with my parents, because they live all the way in Ohio."

"You can stay here. I'll... I'll find somewhere else to go for the time being," he said. "I'll be out by either Wednesday or Thursday. Until then, I'll sleep in the guest room."

She nodded slowly nodded then sighed. "I love you, Jon. I really, really do. And I know I haven't exactly been a good partner, but I promise I'll do my best to work on my issues while we're on this break."

He nodded in response, not knowing what to say. He appreciated it, but he honestly had to see it to believe it. It wouldn't be the first time she said she'd try to be better and still did the same things. Then again, he accepted it as his karma, so it didn't bother him as much as it used to. "I'll also try my best," he said.

"So… what do we do now?" she asked after taking a deep breath.

"Pretend I'm not here, and I'll do the same."

It felt nice to relax at home without worrying about having to work. However, not working also came with the fact that she had rent to pay looming over her head. She never really thought about it when she had company, but when she was alone, the thought never left.

Along with other thoughts, but she was slowly learning how to push those thought of him to the back of her mind as quickly as they came. Although, she would rather not think about him at all.

Maybe the threat of her getting evicted was just her negative thoughts catching up to her. Maybe everything that happened was a result of her constant negative thoughts. Regardless of what the reason was, she wanted to start being more positive. It was so draining to be negative all the time, and she wanted it to be gone for good.

"Amber!"

She raised an eyebrow then checked the time. Why was Tom knocking on her door at almost midnight? She opened the door for him, still confused as he walked into her apartment. "Do you know what time it is?"

"Yes. Why?" he asked as he plopped down on the couch, placing a plastic bag on the ground next to his feet.

"It's late, Tom. You should be sleeping or something; not in my apartment," she said, sitting down next to him. "Now why are you here? I assume it has something to do with whatever's in that bag."

"I have movies and some snacks. I thought it might make you happy, and I was bored. So, I decided I'd make a quick stop at Walmart and surprise you," he said as he pulled out the contents of the bag one by one. "So, we're watching Clueless, right? I bought more, but I figured you'd wanna watch that the most."

She nodded and smiled at him. "I know I don't say this enough, but you're a really good friend."

"Actually…" He paused as he dug around the bag for something, then finally placed a chocolate bar on her lap. "You've been saying at lot lately. I mean, I don't mind, 'cause it makes me feel like I'm doing something good for once."

Amber shook her head and leaned back as he popped the movie in the DVD player. She knew they were both gonna fall asleep before the movie ended, but she also knew that while they were awake, they were going to have a blast, and she looked forward to it.