Okay I got my laptop up and running again so I will update muuuch faster now. Please don't give up on me as a writer I'm really sorry for making you guys wait so long I hate when other writers do this too :(
just give me some feedback and let me know you're still with me!
xoxo
-VQ
PS: SLIIIGHT LIME WARNING. I'm not doing a lemon in this fic. It doesn't really fit.
"Excuse me! Excuse me!" I said to the officers standing by the staircase.
"Hello?!" Why are they ignoring me?!
I looked back to Inuyasha for help but...what is this look? Why is he staring at me like I'm crazy?
"Inuyasha! Why are you not as concerned as I am about all these officers and…this blood?!"
"Kagome, I-I don't see a-anything." He stammered. "Maybe...you're having another vision."
Oh no. This is horrific. Did something this awful really happen here?
I turned to my right to see a detective kneeling by a little girl.
That's me again! What am I supposed to do here? Just watch?
"Kagome, can you please tell me again what you just saw?"
"No! She cannot!" A voice shouted from the kitchen doorway.
Is that...?
It's grandpa!
"Listen, detective. She is a six year old girl who just watched a demon devour her father! There is no reason for you to..."
Everything is going silent. "Inuyasha! Inuyasha!"
Kagome was beginning to faint again. I caught her before she hit the ground. Her face is pale like she just saw a ghost. What did she just see?
I carried her to my room and laid her on the bed. I sat on the edge and watched over her. I'm not letting her out of my sight.
I smell the scent of cinnamon. It's all around me. That's what Inuyasha smells like to me.
Tart cinnamon.
I opened my eyes and looked up at the stars on the ceiling. I realized I'm in Inuyasha's room. How did I get here?
I sat up quickly and noticed he was looking right at me.
"Hey. You fainted again."
"Did I? What happened?"
"You were holding your ears and calling my name. T-then you started to fall." He moved closer to me and my heart skipped a beat. "Are you okay?"
"Yeah. The last I remember was..." Oh my gosh. "My grandpa said I watched my father die!"
"That's what happened to you?"
"I feel so disconnected from that moment. I can't believe it."
I sighed and heard a familiar sound as I let out my breath.
Tick tick tick tick
That's the typewriter again.
I jumped out of the bed and ran upstairs.
"Hey! Where are you going?!" I shouted as Kagome just ran out of the room without warning.
I decided to follow her up the stairs and down the hall to her office.
She sat down at that typewriter again and pulled out a piece of paper.
"I desire one thing. Truth. The truth to liberate me from my past. Liberate me from the pain. Free me from the darkness. Lift the nasty fog from around my soul. Let me see the truth behind those empty walls. Even if my spirit screams to escape my body. I need the truth."
"Inuyasha, who is writing all of these things? A ghost?"
"It's not exactly a ghost. I think it's you. Some part of your subconscious is connected to this typewriter. That's why you have those out of body experiences, probably."
She kept staring at that paper reading it over and over again.
"Inuyasha? Take me behind the house."
What?! "I can't do that Kagome. I can't see you hurting anymore."
"Inuyasha, I need closure. I am so close to restoring myself back to well...myself. I need you to help me."
After I told him that, I started to hear that voice again.
"You shouldn't have come outside, little girl. You shouldn't have come."
Something about that voice terrifies me. I began to shiver slightly.
"What's the matter? Are you cold?" Inuyasha asked me as he held me.
His warmth washed away all of my worries. But this uneasiness deep down is unsettling. "I-I'm afraid of something that I can't remember. I'm not quite ready to go out there tonight. Can we do it tomorrow?"
"Sure. Let's get some sleep."
I headed for my room and Inuyasha took a turn for the steps.
"Where are you going?"
"To bed."
"O-oh. I was hoping you would...keep me company?"
"Yeah."
We went to my room and I lied down. Inuyasha sat at the foot of my bed watching over me protectively.
"You probably don't remember but when my mother drove us home from that trip to the beach, we fell asleep in the car together. You were clinging to my arm. Your hair was all over my face." He said as he laughed. "I may have only been a little kid but I was in love with you. I know. I remember the feeling."
"I wish I remembered the feeling. It's like I'm feeling it for the first time and I just don't know what to do."
"That's how I felt."
I went over and touched his nose with mine. It was cold and wet. I remember doing this a lot. It was the way I kissed him.
"I remember doing this to you often."
"Yeah. You called them nosy posies. The first time I told you I wanted to kiss you, you said—"
"Let's kiss like this."
He smiled at me, I smiled back, and then he gave me a real kiss.
I could feel his tongue darting against my lips so I opened my mouth more.
His warm wet tongue sliding around mine gave me a tingling feeling beneath my stomach. I'm not sure what to do next.
I just grabbed the side of his shirt as tightly as I could.
He laid me down on my bed and a rush of butterflies entered my stomach as I went down on the pillows.
Once he was on top of me, I could feel a bulge from inside his pants rubbing against me. The tingling feeling became stronger and I let out a sound in his mouth.
Are we really going this far? I know I have these urges, and I see he has them too, but...we can't.
When his hand began to lift my dress and tug at my panties, I pushed him away.
"I'm sorry Inuyasha. As much as I really want to, with everything going on in this house and inside of me, I don't feel whole yet. I want to feel like my complete self before I give myself to you. I-it's nothing personal."
He sighed and sat up. "It's okay. I'll wait until you're ready." He said sweetly as he stood up.
"A-are you leaving?"
"No. I'll stay with you like I promised but I really need to go to the bathroom." He said as he sped out the room.
He sounded like he really had to go. If it was so urgent, why didn't he stop himself to go?
Unless he's going to...
oh...
Inuyasha came back in my room about fifteen minutes later. I didn't bother asking or mentioning that he had taken awhile.
He sat back on the foot of my bed and I read another novel.
"Hey."
"Yes?"
"Why don't we go back to my room and watch a movie until we fall asleep? I-if you want."
"That sounds really nice. Romantic, actually."
He lifted me onto his back and slowly walked down the steps. I love when he carries me like this. I feel like a princess.
Inuyasha dropped me on his bed and pulled his blanket over me as he turned on the television.
"Okay. I figured we could watch Night of The Living Dead, or we can start the first season of The Walking Dead."
"That's the graphic novel I was reading!"
"Okay then let's watch it."
Inuyasha put on the first episode and got under the covers with me. He put his arm around me and kissed my cheek. I thought I was going to melt.
"I love you." I just blurted it out so naturally.
He's not saying anything! Did I make things weird?
"Shh." He said quietly as he kissed my forehead. "I love you more."
I don't know where my relationship with Inuyasha is going to go from here but I hope it stays like this forever.
The next morning
I woke up and Kagome was gone. I heard the shower water running when I sat up.
All these thoughts of her started flowing through my mind. I wish I could go in there with her and grab her from the back of her warm, wet hips and hold her tightly.
But I can't. I want more from her but she's not ready yet. All I can do is wait.
A half hour later
"Inuyasha I'm ready!"
"For what?"
"Let's go to the back of the house."
Is she really ready for that? "You sure?"
"Mmm hmm." She nodded surely. "I have to go. I need to figure all of this out."
"Let's go." I put my hand out for hers and she ran up to me and kissed me. I can tell shes scared.
She looked straight at me.
Those eyes. Those eyes again. Just like when we were kids. She's telling me something she can't say.
But I understand this time.
"I won't let you get hurt anymore. Okay, Gome?"
She smiled. Such a bright smile after sad eyes like sunshine after a hurricane.
I want every part of her that she has. Even the ones she can't remember.
When Inuyasha and I got on the roof, I didn't walk close enough to the edge to see what was in the backyard.
This is the biggest most terrifying clue of all.
This is what happened to me.
I can't remember the last time I felt this afraid. Actually, that's my problem. I have to remember. Even if it makes me less of a person than I am now.
Wait!
"Inuyasha! What if when I remember, I change?"
"You'll always be Kagome! I have loved every Kagome I knew since I met you. Obnoxious Kagome, Funny Kagome, Frightened Kagome and even Traumatized, Speechless Kagome. If you end up in bed all day starting to pale up again and unable to talk, I'll be here with you. I swear."
Inuyasha...why?
"Don't look at me like that. This is what love is." He told me as he kissed my cheek. "You do what's best for you."
I slowly walked to the edge with Inuyasha's hand tightly in my grasp.
I looked down at the large yard. We had a white and green gazebo, lawn chairs and a glass table. All covered in what looks like blood.
"I don't understand what I'm looking at. Inuyasha, take me down there."
He slowly took me down into the yard and I stared at the caution tape and blood splattered all about. This...is this where I watched my father die? W-why...can't I remember something like this?"
I looked down and noticed the small bloody footprints walking in the opposite direction of where I was standing. I turned and noticed the rusted door.
We really did have a backyard. But...why can't I connect to this moment? I merely feel sadness and sympathy. Where are the ghosts? The flashbacks? The out of body experiences?
"Where are you?!"
"Kagome, are you okay?"
"No! Apparently this place, this moment was the catalyst for my suffering, yet I feel nothing at all!"
Inuyasha and I just stood there like we were waiting for something to happen. But...nothing was happening.
"Can we go back inside please?"
After Inuyasha took me back into the house I walked into the kitchen and looked at the wall where the brick covered the door.
I placed my hand on the wall and it felt so cold. Like ice. Painful, subzero frigid ice.
But...I don't want to physically feel this moment. I want to know I lived this moment. I want it to be part of me again.
I used to be the one running from my memories and now they're running away from me. It's frustrating!
"I need to be alone." I told Inuyasha as I went upstairs.