A few days later …

Raven made her appearance in Steve Dunn's session room the way she usually did, rising out of the floor, appearing in front of the easy chair she always sat in. Her dark energy hum echoed in the cozy therapy room as her hemisphere portal made its appearance. A steaming mug of herbal tea was ready for her on the coffee table and she took her seat. Dunn was flipping through the pages in a spiral bound notebook and smiled as he looked up from it.

"You're looking happy today … I take it that your trip to Metropolis went well?"

She picked up her mug and gently blew the steam off of it. "It went very well." She replied before taking a sip of the aromatic brew.

"That's great … so … what do you want to talk about today?"

"I want to talk about the trip. While it went well, it wasn't entirely positive."

"How so?" He asked.

She put the mug down and leaned back in the chair.

"Well, the positive first. Gar and I got along very well … he was very sweet and kind. He even asked me to dance at the reception parties."

"He did? So … how do you feel about that?"

Raven chuckled. "I never danced with him before … Azar … it was the first time I ever danced at all. I was petrified at first; I thought that all eyes were on us."

"They probably were."

"Jill and Rita gave me death glares every time I looked their way. That didn't bother me, but everyone else watching, and they were … that did unnerve me."

"Why do you think that bothers you?"

"I don't like attracting attention to myself … in any situation. You know how we met, right?"

"The day Starfire fell from the sky and the Gordanians came … kind of hard to forget, it was on TV."

"I'm sure it is. Anyway … I almost didn't meet the others that day. I was hiding in an alley, watching the situation unfold, more than happy to remain anonymous and uninvolved. I only intervened because I thought they were going to hurt each other. Had it not come to that … well, I guess Trigon would be ruling the world now."

"Why did you stay in that alley so long? Why were you avoiding them?"

She shrugged. "I figured that once they knew who I was, that they wouldn't like me, I even told Robin that, and I said that I wasn't a team player."

"And yet you joined the team. So, how long did you keep your secret from them?"

"Far too long." She sighed. "And when I finally did … they rallied around me … I still can't believe they did that … why would they do that, once they learned who and what I really was?"

"Maybe they felt that being Trigon's daughter doesn't define who you are. You're a hero, Raven, a very selfless one. Your friends love you."

She sighed again. "I still don't know why would they do that."

"You once told me that they're your family."

She bowed her head. "I told my father that … but deep down I don't believe it. What have I ever done to deserve their love or the right to call them my family?"

"Love can be unconditional. Sometimes it doesn't have to be earned. In fact, the best kind of love is unearned, because it's a gift."

"I never experienced that before, not until I met my friends. My mother abandoned me; she turned me over to the monks of Azarath. But they didn't love me either… I was a project to them … their only concern was to defeat my father, I was nothing more than a means to an end."

"What about your teacher? You told me her name once."

"Azar … she was just that … a teacher. I never learned what love was from her. The only thing, other than magic, that she and the other monks ever taught me was to suppress my feelings."

"That's never a healthy thing to do." He calmly remarked.

"I had to … my powers are tied to my emotions … when I become angry or upset I can lose control. But … ever since I defeated my father that's no longer true."

"But you don't know how to release your feelings."

She nodded. "I've never done it before. The message hammered into me was that I couldn't feel … that I shouldn't feel anything, because if I did … horrible things would happen. I wouldn't know where to begin."

"You were afraid of your father, right?"

She nodded. "That's what it was all about. If I allowed myself to feel anything he could use that to control me … and in the end he did. It was all a waste, I slipped up and submitted myself to him and I brought him into the world."

"Raven, you do understand that danger has been removed … it is safe now for you to feel."

She pointed at her head. "I know that up here." She then pointed at her heart. "But not here. Every time I think of loosening up … I feel scared, and so I repress my feelings."

"What about Garfield … did you ever show him any affection?"

She slowly shook her head. "Rarely."

"You slept with him for five years."

"Yeah … we'd have sex and when we were done I'd roll over and fall asleep. And there was no foreplay either."

"You mean he didn't …"

She shook her head again. "He was more than willing, in fact, I think he wanted it … Gar is very … sensitive, but I just didn't want any. Maybe I'd kiss him during coitus, but that was it. And like I already said … after we were done screwing I'd just turn away from him and fall asleep. He'd want to cuddle afterwards, but I just wanted to be left alone. Women are supposed to want foreplay, but not me, I'm one screwed up chick."

Dunn shifted in his chair. "Not really … there is the stereotype that all women need foreplay before sex, but that isn't true. Raven … you clearly enjoy physical intimacy, but emotional intimacy for you is … ?"

"Scary. Yep, scary."

"Why do you think that is?"

Raven looked lost in thought while Steve patiently waited for her answer.

"It's my safe place … if people can get to close to me emotionally, I can get hurt. So I keep them at an arm's length. And that was the lesson hammered into me as far back as I can remember … that my emotions are dangerous … they can hurt others. And … I suppose … by extension, other people's emotions can hurt me."

"And you've been hurt … a lot. By your parents, the monks and Azar. Everyone who played a major role in your childhood hurt you … they either taught you that you were unimportant or that you couldn't love anyone or deserved to be loved."

She nodded sadly.

"And yet, you do love."

A tear leaked out of her left eye and he handed her a tissue. She wiped her eyes and blew her nose.

"I love Garfield … you know what's weird? Even though we were lovers for five years, last week in Metropolis was the first time I ever felt comfortable expressing my feelings for him, not that I said much. For the first time ever … I had a warm feeling inside when I embraced him … a genuine warm fuzzy that I didn't instinctively feel that I had to suppress."

Dunn smiled. "You should be pleased with yourself … you've come a long way very quickly."

"It's still scary, being open and … affectionate … which leads to the bad thing that happened."

"What happened?"

"The Titans and the Doom Patrol are going on a joint mission."

"Mento and Elastigirl agreed to that?"

"Not really, but Batman coerced them into accepting … Steve, most people would think I would be thrilled about this … but I'm not ready for this … not yet. It's going to be awkward, very awkward. Jill was livid when she found out. She confronted me and warned me to keep my hands off of Gar."

"I see your predicament … how are you planning on handling the situation?"

"I don't know … you know what my long term goal is … and I'd feel no remorse if I stole him back from her … but now that I've been in therapy for all these months, I understand why it's too soon … I'm not ready, not even close, to win him back … but I won't deny that it's a golden opportunity and I might not ever get another one. And that scares me, the fear of a lost opportunity … one that I might never get again."

Raven stopped talking and bit her lower lip. "I don't know what to do, Steve, I don't … I'm going to be with him round the clock for weeks, if not months. It's going to be a dangerous mission … well, they all are … so I'm pretty sure that Gar and I will be covering each other's backs like we always did and spend a lot of time with each other … I just don't know what to expect or what is reasonable to do. Gar is faithful … he won't cheat on Jill … but …"

She paused to wipe away her tears. "Dammit, Steve, he's mine … how am I supposed to be around him all that time and pretend he isn't? I ache for him, I miss him so much."

Dunn pursed his lips before replying. "It's not my place to tell you what to do, Raven. All I can tell you is that he will see that you've started to change. If you're with him around the clock, he'll see that you aren't putting on an act. Whether or not he'll come back to you is up to him."

Raven sighed. "I suppose I start by aiming low … be friends first."

"I wouldn't call rebuilding your friendship with him as aiming low. A solid friendship is the basis for any long term romance."

He gave her gentle smile. "So how about we discuss your friendship with Garfield?"

-( - )-

"Gar, this is unacceptable."

The changeling looked up from the duffel bag he was packing for the mission.

"Don't you trust me?"

"Of course I do. But, why do you have to be with her?"

He glanced at her before continuing packing.

"Because she's a superhero and our teams are on a joint mission. Jill … get it through your head …. this is professional."

"I don't care … she's your ex."

"And you know that you have nothing to worry about."

"Why do you have to be gone so long?"

"You know the answer to that question."

"Then quit the Doom Patrol."

He stopped packing and stared at her. "I've made a commitment. I can't just quit on the eve of a mission."

"Sometimes I think being a superhero is more important to you than I am."

He glared at her. "That isn't true and you know it. If I was in the military I could be deployed on a moment's notice."

Jill clenched her fists. "But you aren't a soldier! You're a self appointed vigilante."

"That's not true. The United Nations requested our assistance."

"You won't even tell me where you're going."

He sighed. "I'm not supposed to tell you … but I will. We're going after Brother Blood. He's been spotted deep in the Amazon jungle. The Brazilian government can't handle him, but they don't want foreign troops involved. They grudgingly agreed to allow a superhero team to come in. And if Brother Blood is involved, he's needs to be stopped. As in right away."

She gritted her teeth. "Dammit, Gar; this sounds so freaking dangerous … I thought the Doom Patrol was retired. I thought you guys were going to have easy missions from now on."

"Superheroes never really retire … what were you expecting? That I would be rescuing cats stuck in trees?"

"You're going to be gone for months again, I just know it. I'm not gonna sugarcoat it, this sucks, big time. What am I supposed to do while you're gone? If at least you'd call once in a while."

He heaved a weary sigh. "I'll see what I can do."

-( - )-

Three weeks later …

Jill returned to her desk after giving the final presentation to Macy's. The customer had spent the past two weeks picking her proposed advertising campaign apart, nitpicking every detail. The project was already running late and the advertising campaign would have to start in just three more weeks. And to make matters even worse, one of the senior partners in the firm began to micromanage her, double checking on every step she took, which was clearly a vote of no confidence. To say that her mood was sour would be an understatement.

She heaved an exasperated sigh. The meeting with the Macy's executives lasted three excruciating hours and all she had to show for it was a laundry list of changes as long as her arm. Artwork was going to have to be redone. Almost all of the copy would have to be changed; about half of it would have to be rewritten from scratch. New commercials would have to be filmed and edited; all of the work would have to be expedited. All of this meant new expenditures, and the firm's president was very unhappy with that. She knew there wouldn't be a yearend bonus for her and the only reason she wouldn't be fired was because the Dayton's had purchased a controlling interest in the firm. Bill Hurd, the firm's founder and CEO, wasn't happy at all with that arrangement, and while he knew he couldn't fire Jill, that didn't mean he couldn't make her life miserable.

Jill grunted as she dropped the thick stack of papers on her desk. Another long night of catch up work awaited her. Her stomach growled, as it was almost lunchtime.

And to make matters worse, as expected, there had not been a word from Garfield. She didn't know what was worse, not knowing if he was dead or if he was canoodling with that damn gray witch.

Jill collapsed into her chair and fought back the urge to completely break down and cry. She felt a full blown panic attack overwhelming her and she resorted to taking deep breaths in a vain attempt to calm herself. Feeling that she was about to go over the edge she did something she swore to herself that she would not do. She pulled out her mobile phone and opened the contact list. She scrolled down the list until she found the name she was looking for.

Tony Garzarelli.

She hesitated for a moment, biting her lower lip. She then heaved a sigh as she pressed the send button.

"Tony? … Yes, it's me. Do you have time to see me today? … Have you had lunch yet? … I'll meet you at your office."

Jill did not sleep in her bed that night.

-( - )-

"Look out!"

As soon as Cyborg shouted his warning a loud explosion rocked the secret underground base. Small pieces of the concrete ceiling fell to ground, pitter pattering like raindrops. The air was thick with dust.

"The droids were booby trapped." Nightwing exclaimed as he quickly took inventory of the combined teams. Starfire, Negative Man, Robotman, Cyborg, Mento, Rita …

"Raven! Changeling!" Grayson shouted.

Gar had morphed into a stegosaurus and swept the explosives rigged droid with his tail. The explosion triggered a chain reaction, with dozens of robots exploding.

"Garfield! Where are you?" Rita shouted.

A dead silence hung in the air. Grayson felt his mouth go dry.

"Come on … you're OK … you guys gotta be OK."

The dust in the air slowly began to thin as it settled on the ground. Nightwing strained his eyes when he thought he saw movement in the dusty mist.

A collective sigh of relief was heard when a pair of recognizable silhouettes became visible in the dust. Beast Boy was limping and was leaning on Raven. Nightwing heaved a huge sigh of relief before running to them. While the changeling was definitely in bad shape, Raven didn't look much better. She had burn marks on her legs and both her leotard and cape were torn.

"Are you guys OK?" Nightwing asked breathlessly.

"Raven raised her shield around us before the chain reaction began." The changeling gasped.

"We need to get out of here. This was clearly a trap; this isn't Brother Blood's base." Mento interjected.

-( - )-

The mood at the camp was subdued. Mento was right in evacuating the team from the decoy base, which was destroyed by a self destruct system shortly after they got out.

Cyborg, with Negative Man's assistance, was cooking a humble meal of rice and beans, as they were running out of supplies. The others were huddled under a tarp, seeking shelter from a tropical downpour. At the far end of the tarp Raven was still busy healing the changeling's injured leg with her blue magic. She paused and looked up, as Cyborg handed them their humble dinner, which was served on beat up metal plates.

"Thanks, Tin Man." The changeling acknowledged him.

The green and gray teammates quietly ate their meal together. Gar collected their plates and utensils and wandered down to a nearby stream to wash them. Raven followed him, extending her shield over him to keep him sheltered from the rain and dry. He knelt next to the stream and she did the same.

"Thanks for saving my green butt." He murmured to her as he washed the dishes.

"It's OK … you don't have to thank me."

"Of course I do … you risked your life to save me."

"It's what friends do for each other." She murmured back to him.

A small smile appeared on his lips. "I'm glad we're still friends."

"Me too … Gar … I'm sorry … I'm sorry I was such a lousy girlfriend."

He chuckled. "So you were my girlfriend after all."

"You're never gonna let me off the hook for that, will you? … I feel so stupid … I denied it back then, but I wasn't fooling anyone … I just want to ask you to forgive me for being such a jerk back then."

He smiled at her. "Of course I forgive you."

"So … we're still friends … right?"

"We never stopped being friends."

"Thanks." She sniffled. "You do know that I care a great deal about you. You're very important to me."

He nodded. "I feel the same way about you."

She chuckled.

"What's so funny?" He asked lightheartedly.

"I think we're closer now than we ever were when we were a couple."

"Yeah … you're probably right."

She sighed. "Sometimes … I wish I could just erase those five terrible years, just … wipe the slate clean."

He shook his head. "No … as bad as they were, we did have some good moments … and not just in bed."

"I guess we did, even if they were few and far between … Gar … you know that I still love you, right?"

He nodded. "I do … and I'll always love you too."

She gave him a small smile. "The plates are clean, I guess we'd better head back to camp."

The two friends stood up together. Their eyes met.

"Raven?"

"Yes?"

He reached out with his hand and placing it behind her head he gently pulled her into a kiss. She felt her body become limp and wrapping her arms around him she melted into his embrace as she kissed him back.

Time seemed to stop as they continued to kiss. His hand found her derrière and she felt her cheeks become hot as he sensually caress her butt and she felt her lust begin to overwhelm her. Then, to her own surprise, she gently pushed him away.

"Gar … this is wrong … Jill …"

He nodded as he released her. "I know … I'm sorry, Rave. I just couldn't help myself. I … I miss you."

"We should go back to the camp." She replied.

The two made their way back to camp, which to their surprise was hastily being torn down. Starfire met them as they approached.

"What's going on?" Beast Boy asked.

"Nightwing and Mento have determined that we have been led on the chase of the wild goose. We are returning to New York, to rest and gather new intelligence before we resume our search."

"I'd better pack my stuff." Gar remarked before hurrying to his tent.

Starfire gave Raven a curious look. "Raven … are you OK? You look … flushed."

"I'm fine … I … I should go and pack up as well."

-( - )-

It was late when the two jets landed on the Dayton Estate. Rita called ahead and had housekeeping setup some rooms in the mansion for the Titans. Garfield morphed into a horse and trotted down to the guest house, which was dark. He unlocked the main door and entered quietly. He left his duffel bag in the foyer and tip toed up the stairs and quietly entered the master suite.

"Jill? I'm back."

There was no answer. He sniffed the air … something was wrong. He flipped the lights on and saw that the bed was still made.

"Jill?"

He looked around the room. He opened the closet and found that all her clothes were gone. It was then that he saw a white envelope with his name written on it propped up on his nightstand. He ripped it open and quickly read it. It fell from his hands and dropped to the floor. He sat down on the edge of his bed, leaning forward as he buried his face in the palms of his hands. He sat that way for several minutes until, after taking a deep breath, he sat up. He pulled his communicator out and flipped it open. Raven's face appeared on the display.

"Gar? Are you OK? … You look awful."

"I'm sorry … did I wake you up?"

"No, I was still unpacking … what's wrong? I can sense your anguish all the way over here."

"Raven … could you come down to the guest house." His voice trembled.

"Are you sure that's a good idea? What will Jill say if I show up?"

"That's the thing, Raven … Jill's left me. She's gone."

Within seconds Raven's dark hemisphere rose from the floor in the suite. Raven saw the discarded letter, picked it up and quickly read it. She looked up at her ex.

"Gar … I'm so sorry."

"I suppose that I should have seen it coming … I can't believe that she went back to him … she even quit her job at the advertising firm."

Raven looked at the letter a second time. Jill told Gar that Tony asked her to marry him and she accepted his offer. She ran up to him and wrapped her arms around him.

"I don't know what to say, other than I'm here for you."

"Thanks … but really … what could you possibly do for me?"

She gently took his hand and led him to the bed. He resisted.

"Raven … a roll in the hay with you sounds really good right now … but … I'm not ready … for us to be a couple again."

She cupped his face in her palm. "It's OK Gar … I just want to console you … I'm not expecting any kind of commitment right now."

"You mean … ex-sex? Friends with benefits? But why?"

She looked deep into his eyes. "Because I love you … because I want you … because I need you and I want you to feel better."

She pulled him into a kiss, which he did not resist. He undid her cape and tossed it aside. Within moments his hands found the zipper on the back of her leotard as she also undid his uniform while they continued to kiss each other. Before they knew it they were in the bed. Their moans of ecstasy echoed in the room and grew louder as they were consumed by the delicious agony of physical love. Soon they began to scream each other's names, louder and with greater passion until they could no longer contain themselves and they climaxed together. Gar, panting and exhausted, collapsed on top of her. Tears streaming down her face, she continued to kiss him. He raised his head, and wiping away her tears he gazed into her eyes.

"I love you." He told her in a breathless voice.

"I love you too." She replied as they curled up together and he spooned her from behind. Soon they were asleep, their troubles forgotten and not caring about what tomorrow might bring. At that moment all was well in the universe and the Chromatically Challenged Couple™ was once again one.

-( - )-

If you think that this story is over, well … it isn't, not by a long shot.