Disclaimer: I do not own Code Geass.

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Kindred Spirits:

Lelouch Lamperouge let out a heavy sigh. He had been lucky enough to get into heaven, but that still didn't make up for the fact that he was dead, while everyone else was still alive and fucking each other like no tomorrow.

"No one here understands my pain," he muttered like the emo he is, "I miss my darling Nunnally-chan..."

Suddenly, a man with shoulder-length bright-red hair and a cheerful grin on his face sat down next to Lelouch, and said, "So, is Nunnally your girlfriend?"

For some reason, this man had an odd resemblance to Kallen.

Lelouch shook his head. "She's my little sister...I have an unhealthy obsession with her..."

"Really?!" The man gasped, "I have the same unhealthy obsession for MY little sister!! She's almost done with high school, and even though I'm dead, I always love peeking down and watching her take showers every now and then..."

"That's quite perverted!"

"Yeah, I know! I have a scrapbook full of photos, too!" The man then leaned in closely and whispered, "Her tits are HUGE these days...it's awesome, especially since she doesn't know I'm watching..."

"My sister is basically a loli, and she was blind for a while, as well as she's stuck in a wheelchair, so that gave me quite the advantage in doing whatever I please to her..." Lelouch explained.

The man laughed. "You, sir, have seriously got to be my BFF right here and now!"

"Same here...buddy!"

The man laughed again, and put his arm over Lelouch's shoulder. "So," he asked, "What's your name?"

"I'm Lelouch Lamperouge! What's yours?"

"The name's Naoto Kozuki!! Let's go get a drink!"

Both of them now laughing rather joyously, the two men walked off together to the local bar...

Suzaku Is A Bastard:

"Hey, Kallen, pull my finger!" Suzaku exclaimed.

"...Why the hell should I?" Kallen asked.

"JUST DO IT!!"

"...Fine..."

Kallen did so, and then Suzaku cackled, "HA HA!! YOU JUST GOT AIDS, BITCH!!!"

Kallen's face remained emotionless. "I already have AIDS, you dickwad..."

"Oh...so that means that I'M the one with AIDS now?"

Kallen nodded.

"...I really need to plan out these jokes better..."

"Uh-huh..."

He Was In The Moment:

Grabbing the intercom microphone for himself, Lloyd screamed, "Lelouch? Lelouch?! LELOOOOOOOOUCH!!!"

Cecil glared at Lloyd, and snapped, "What the hell are you doing?"

Lloyd shrugged. "Sorry...I was in the moment..."

"WELL, STOP IT!!!"

"...Can you be my 'Naomi Hunter'?"

"NO!!!!"

A Sticker Is A Sticker, No Matter Where You Put It:

"Alright, who put a 'Gay Pride' sticker on my Zero helmet?!" Lelouch snapped.

He heard a tiny giggle come from the closet nearby.

"GODDAMMIT, SUZAKU!!!"

Mind-Reading Kinda Sucks:

Holding Shirley firmly, Mao exclaimed, "I shall now...READ YOUR MIND!!!"

Silence for a few moments, and then...Mao's face fell.

"Oh my god..." he muttered in a growing speed as he continued to scan Shirley's thoughts, "Oh my god...oh my god...oh my god...oh my god...oh my god...oh my god...oh my - WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!!!"

Then, screaming his deranged head off, Mao ran away to wash out his eyes with soap, in hopes that he could cleanse the disturbing images he had just seen from his mind.

Shirley just shrugged, and walked off without a word.

Lelouch Makes An Attempt:

"Screw the rules, I have Geass!!"

C.C. shook her head in disappointment. "Sorry, but that's not funny AT ALL...besides, you're just using a famous line from Yu-Gi-Oh Abridged, you cheapskate!!"

"I...I can't help it!" Lelouch exclaimed, "I just wasn't born to be the kind of person who can put others into hysterics by speaking a simple phrase or performing a certain stunt!!"

"Well, keep trying! Or...I'll kill you..." C.C. warned, and she really did mean what she said.

Strengthening his resolve, Lelouch continued this meaningless effort...