Joker sat in his smiley faced boxers, a beer in his hand and a crescent moon beaming down on his back basking his face in shadows. To say he was pissed was a very large understatement. Not only had Harley and the two whores stolen his money, but because of her little "first time for everything" moment on the Bats (actually knocking him out, that never seemed to happen), Joker became number one on the Dork Knights to-do list.

Harley had her moments, sure, like that one time she decided she didn't want to be Jokers "maid" anymore (like she was good for anything else) and stopped making his sandwiches (he had to eat crackers for days), and doing his laundry (he had to go steal more underwear because of that), and feeding Bud and Luo (they growled at him and tried to eat his henchmen, he was not okay with that. Except when they ate Bob, Joker hated Bob).

She went on like that for a good week before he beat some sense into her by breaking her knee and a few fingers. After that she learned he expected a sandwich at all times, his laundry (especially his underwear) freshly cleaned and in his drawer, and that the filthy mutts they called pets were to be fed at all times because if they ever barked at him again he'd put a bullet between their furry heads.

Harley never seemed to have another one of those moments.

Of course there were a few fights here and there, some ending in her groveling at his feet, others ending in her running into the arms of the weed. But she didn't fight back against him since. Not until now.

Speaking of the little wench, where the hell did she go? She stole his money over three days ago then just vanished. Hadn't he taught her better?

Joker huffed in frustration and went for the remote, but found it wasn't in its usual place. "Stupid, worthless, no good little…" He trailed off when he felt it beneath his butt and turned the TV on.

Nothing. Not a single word about the robbery or Harley, not even a word about anybody really. The stupid news people were talking about a pet shelter.

"Yesterday's news, todays… "He paused, wondering how the saying went. "Er, not news."

He shook his head and changed the channel. Reruns of Star Trek were playing, Harley loved that show. She had the entire intro memorized, and people still called him the crazy one.

Joker noticed it was one of her many favorite episodes: The Trouble with Tribbles. He had laughed at her when she told him she had one, and almost cried when she showed him a ball of fur that shook and made noises when you squeezed it. She absolutely loved that thing.

Joker growled and threw the remote across the room. The little cunt should have been there.

She should've been squealing like a child when the show came on and telling him to pause it so she could go change into her "uniform" (a stupid red dress with gold trim and a weird symbol. Much too short for public if you asked him) and get Mister Blobby (her Tribble).

She should've been there rocking back and forth with excitement and reciting all of the words she remembered while she held a vibrating ball against her chest like the idiot she was. She should have been there so he could beat her senseless when she wouldn't shut the fluffy thing up

But she wasn't. And so there he sat for the next hour, his legs stretched out on the floor, his arms on either side of the chair, and a frown flickering with the light of the TV.

It wasn't until he heard a noise from outside his room that he moved, reaching for his gun. Then the door burst open and the last person he expected to see stood with a very angry expression across their face. It was definitely going to be a long night.