A/N not mine, I own nothing.

Thank you everyone. I am beginning to feel better, my bp is now stable, and my o2 is back up. A little med adjustment, and it is helping.

Slowly Suffocating

Today Marie will be over to check on me and to show me how to mix my meds for the cassettes. I am also going over to the local ambulance station with Bobby to explain that if they were have to come get me, that they under no circumstances to turn off my pump, I would begin to feel the effects of the loss of medication most likely within five minutes. This was going to be a loooong day. So many things to do, and I was already exhausted. I was sitting on the couch when Ranger came in, and saw my contemplative state.

"Babe, I have something for you." Ranger told me as he sat down next to me. He handed me a Jewelry box. I just looked at him like he was crazy.

"It won't bite, I promise. it may be very helpful for you to have. Open it please, for me."

I opened the box, and inside was a beautiful silver chain and pendent. It was so simple that it took me a moment to realize that it was a medical alert pendent, and on the back was inscribed;

Pulmonary Hypertension

On Flolan

DO NOT STOP PUMP

"Thank you."

"Anytime, Stephanie, Anything to keep you safe."

There was a knock at the door, and he answered it, letting Bobby in.

"Ready Bomber?"

"I just need my portable tank, and cooler for my meds, and I am set."

Ranger handed Bobby my tank, and a small lunch bag that contained and extra set of batteries on the outside pouch, and one cassette of needed to be kept cold once it was mixed, and I knew the pump would need changed while we were out, so we made sure to have it with us. Plus this will give the EMT's a chance to see it as well.

Once we arrived, everyone who was available was at the station. I introduced myself and explained why I was asked a few questions, and Bobby answered what he could. We directed them to the PHA website, to offer those who wanted to know more, the best place to look for answers. I showed them my pump, and the site where it went into my the time we left, I just wanted to sleep, but I knew Marie would be there when we got back. I will push through this lesson today, eat a snack, take a nap, then I am going for dinner with Ranger to see my Dad.

I was right, Marie was pulling in just as we got greeted us, and followed us to the elevator, and up to the seventh floor we went She set us up at the dinning room table.

"It will be easier to mix this up right here. That way all of your supplies are right in reach, and you will be less likely to drop anything."

She showed me how to properly wash my hands and the area I would be both put on gloves,, and we used a couple of practice cassettes until she thought I had it right. I took a deep breath , and did the real thing. We made up the two that I would need for the next twenty four hours.

"That was perfect Steph."

"Good, now did Bobby call you yet?

"Yeah, we're going out tomorrow night. I can't wait! I found the perfect dress! "

They talked and laughed for the next twenty minutes. When she left, I ate some frozen grapes, and took a nap. Ranger was waking me up at 4pm, so that he could help me get ready for dinner. We were going to Rosinni's. At 5:30 we were out the door.

We got to the restaurant, and Daddy was already there, but I was feeling very uneasy, something was going to happen, my spidey senses were a tingling. Just as we ordered I saw why. Joe Morelli walked in, with some bimbo.

He walk over to our table took one look at me and grabbed my oxygen tube, dropping it with disgust he said,

"Once a whore always a whore, now you are pretending to be sick just to get Manoso. It's time to stop this shit and come home with me right now, you dumb bitch!"

He made a grab for my arm, but Ranger stopped him, and Daddy was calling the had violated the restraining order. Ranger held him until Carl came and placed him under arrest. I knew today was going to well to be true. The drive home was a quiet one. When we got upstairs, I sat on the couch, and Eanger began to speak.

"Babe, how about we take a short vacation? After Marie is done with all of her visits next week, and if we can get clearence from your doctor, we can go somewhere, just you and me. Get away from Trenton for a few days. We can even take Bobby and Hector along if it will help. I think we both need a break from the everyday here. That scene with Joe just proved it."

"Let me think about it, I need to get Marie and Dr. Z's opinions first. I hate this!" My voice was starting to raise, and tears were starting to fall." I absolutely HATE THIS! Why can't I just have one good day, just one, where I am physically, emotionally, and mentally all ok. Why did I have to end up with this damn disease?! I just want to not be sick, I want Joe to leave me alone, I want my Mom to love me, and I want the burg to not exist! I didn't have much going for me before I got sick, now I don't even have a future I can plan on having." Ranger held me as I cried