Thanks for all the love. I really feel like "Old Money" was so perfect for Mal and Regina's story and it is still killing me.

The fact that keeps going down is also killing me.

Also: James is Charming. Apparently that wasn't entirely clear. CaptainCharming is one of my favorite low-key ships, so I had to include it.

This is going to be a rough flashback to start the chapter, so brace yourselves. There's a bit of Spanish in their conversation, but I included a translation in parentheses. I hope that doesn't ruin the flow. Lana is puertorican (as am I), so I have the headcanon that Regina is as well.

Xoxo Q.M.

Chapter Fourteen: Ultraviolence

With enough pills in her system, Regina knew she could do anything. It was almost as if she lived in a dream of her own weaving. She had cursed the rest of the world to never truly know what she was thinking or feeling. She was a living lie. These people did not deserve her true self, nor did they deserve her kindness. She remembered the day when she made the decision. She was visiting her father for the last time.

"Mija." Henry whispered. Regina sat next to his hospital bed, clutching his hand.

(My daughter.)

"I'm here, daddy. I'm here." She whispered back. He smiled gently, but a fresh wave of pain washed over him and he winced. Regina wiped her eyes, but she knew this was it.

"Te amo, mija linda." He said, with great pain. She kissed his hand over and over again, wishing that this wasn't her life.

(I love you, my beautiful daughter.)

"It's ok, daddy. I'm here. You're going to be ok." She insisted. He chuckled weakly.

"No, mija. I have to go. Pero, te amo."

(But I love you.)

"No me dejes, por favor. Te necesito. Te amo." Regina whispered.

(Please don't leave me. I need you. I love you.)

"Dile que me despedi."

(Tell her I said goodbye.)

"Daddy, no."

"Mira-"

The heart monitor flat lined, and all the breath left her body. No doctors came. No nurses. This was expected and Henry Sr. was not meant to be resuscitated. He never finished his sentence...The long beep played loudly in Regina's head all the way home to New York even through the Percs and Xanax she took on the plane. When she finally arrived at her apartment, Leopold was waiting for her. The sound of the heart monitor was blaring in her ears and when he held her close to comfort her, she found herself pushing him away.

"What's wrong, Regina?" He asked, genuinely confused. Her body was so full of poison, but she could still feel the pain of her father leaving her forever.

"Everything." She snarled. Everything was wrong. Her father was dead and she so deeply wished it was Leopold in the ground instead. She looked at his wrinkles, the white in his hair, and her face screwed up in revulsion because it almost reminded her of her father. He reached for her again, but she smacked his hand away.

"Please, Regina. Let me help." Leopold urged. The flat line of the heart monitor screamed in her ears. It almost made her want to see her mother. Almost. Finally, he grabbed her and pulled her into an embrace, anything to calm her.

"I know losing a parent can be hard." He said gently, lovingly even. Regina's whole body tensed in his arms. She wanted to scream and scream and kill him. She wanted so sharply to kill him. Watch his body fall to the ground and bleed out while she watched and laughed. Her breath came in bursts. Was she crying? It was hard to tell.

"Dad?" Came a tiny voice, piercing through Regina's thoughts in the darkness. Snow stood in the hallway, watching her struggle against Leopold's hold.

"What's wrong, Snow?" He asked, keeping hold of Regina. In his mind, his wife still needed to be comforted.

"I heard the front door." She said quietly, rubbing her eyes.

"Regina just got home from her trip." Leopold explained warmly. He hadn't explained Regina's absence. He thought it would be too painful for the girl.

"Welcome home!" Mary Margaret said. She walked over and joined in their hug. Regina was suffocating. She thought she was going to really scream now. Maybe she would pass out. The drugs coursed through her skin and she gathered her strength, but it was overcome quickly by her poisonous rage.

"Get off me! Get the fuck off me!" She shrieked. Both Leopold and Mary Margaret stared at her, one with anger in their eyes and the other with fear.

"Regina." Leopold said, his tone dangerous and commanding. Regina's eyes filled with terror.

"Regina, what's wrong?" Mary Margaret whimpered.

"Everything." Regina insisted. Robbed of her usually sharp mind, it was all she could say.

"Darling, please go to bed." Leopold said to his daughter. She would have protested, but tonight she did not. Then the unhappily married couple were alone.

"Regina, I will not tolerate this language around my daughter. I know you've had a hard day-"

"No! You don't! I've lost my family!" She screamed, no longer caring if the child heard them fight.

"We're your family." Leopold said, almost hurt.

"No you're not! You're not my family! You're my warden!" Regina shouted. Now, this did hurt Leopold. Had he not always tried to make her happy? Who had paid for her to go stay with her father? Who had paid for his medical care? He looked at her and suddenly, he realized what was going on.

"Are you high?" He hissed. His wife's face scrunched with rage.

"How dare you! I will not speak to you while you're like this." He said, keeping his voice low.

"Fuck you!" She snarled. He slapped her. This stopped Regina for a moment. She was shocked and the taste of metal spread through her mouth. She held a hand up to her lip and realized it was split. She laughed, hollow and cruel. It wasn't like she could feel it anyway.

"Hit me again." She said darkly. Repulsed, Leopold clenched his fist, but did not strike her.

"Look what you made me do. Regina, I am going to ask that you sleep in the guest room tonight. Hopefully, by morning you will have collected yourself and we won't have to talk about this again."

And they didn't, but Regina often remembered that night. Through the drugs and the years she always remembered. When she arrived at her apartment with Emma in tow, she found herself lingering in the hall outside the elevator.

"Hey, are you ok?" Emma asked. Regina exhaled sharply and nodded. Then, she walked up to the door of her apartment and knocked politely. Mary Margaret opened the door, a huge smile plastered across her face.

"You're home." She said warmly, moving aside so the pair could enter. Regina walked into her apartment. She had changed a great deal since Leopold's death. It almost made her feel comfortable. Perhaps she should have sold it, but her thoughts were interrupted by Henry. There he was, standing in the living room mute from emotion. She looked at him and swallowed. Tears came to her eyes and she began to walk closer to him, hesitantly. He let her take a few steps before quickly closing the gap and embracing her. God, he was getting so big.

"I've missed you, Henry." She whispered, her voice thick with the tears she was failing to conceal.

"I've missed you too." He said. Emma and Snow watched quietly from the door until the hug ended.

"Well, I've made salmon. Henry, will you please set the table?" Mary Margaret asked. He nodded and raced off to do so. Emma sighed.

"I guess I should be going." She said, not really knowing what to do.

"Oh, nonsense. Stay. I've made enough food and I need to write you your check." Snow said.

"Is that alright, Regina?" Emma asked. Regina wiped her eyes and nodded.

"Yes. Now, I need to go change into something that belongs to me and isn't made of cheap cotton." She said, her regal demeanor almost returning. Maybe it would be back by the time she changed.

"Hey! I got that shirt at Target!" Emma called after her.

"So, how was her majesty? I hope she didn't give you too much trouble." Snow said, leading Emma into the dining room. The blonde chuckled. Clearly this chick had never seen someone detox before.

"No, she was a real trooper."

"That's good…and she's clean now?"

"As a whistle. All of her stashes were cleaned out, right?"

"Every one. Her personal body guards said they knew about all of them."

"Good…Regina's really something, you know?" Emma said. Snow regarded the blonde for a moment, but agreed.

"She is. She's had a rough go of it."

"She really has…but she's tough as nails."

"I am also intelligent, beautiful, and some would even say magnificent." Regina said, sweeping into the room. She was dressed once more in her familiar clothes. This was a particularly favored red dress with an Alexander McQueen jacket thrown on top. How she had pulled herself together into this vision so quickly, Emma would never truly know.

"There she is." Snow said. It was nice to have the older woman back, and she hoped it would be for good this time. She hoped that Regina would be happier this time. She had so much hope for their future. Maybe they could be a family this time.

"Ok. I've got cups and stuff." Henry said, his arms full of Tiffany's glass. Regina rose gracefully and helped him place the glassware onto the table.

"Why don't you go grab some ice? I will help you get the plates." Regina offered. Emma held up a hand.

"No, that's ok. I can do it. I don't like sitting here watching other people do stuff for me. Besides, this is your special dinner."

"Thank you, dear." Regina said, surprisingly touched. She settled into a seat at the table. Snow reached out and took her hand.

"It's nice to have you back." She said. Regina exhaled slowly.

"It's nice to be back."

"I know that you've had a very hard week, but I want you to know how proud I am of you." Mary Margaret said. Tears were just beneath the surface of their exchange.

"I did what I needed to. For Henry."

"Of course."

"Have you heard from my mother?" Regina asked suddenly. Snow sighed and nodded.

"Oh yes. Cora came by a few times to see how things were going."

"I'm so sorry I wasn't here to-"

"No, Regina, please. It's fine. She behaved for the most part. If anything, she was a little more tame than usual. It was odd." Snow said, recalling the visits.

"Odd? How so?"

"She almost seemed as if she was sort of lost. At one point, she asked for the time and seemed surprised when I gave her the answer. It was unlike her."

"That's strange, but I suppose she isn't as young as she used to be. It's about time the old bat went senile." Regina said with a chuckle. She laughed, of course, to hide her concern. Cora was many things, but even if she was confused, she would never let on about it. Before Regina could grow truly concerned, Emma and Henry returned with plates and filled glasses. Regina watched anxiously as they balanced crystal glasses and plates, but nothing was broken in the end.

"This is wonderful, Mary Margaret. Thank you." Regina said, taking another bite of the salmon. Snow grinned and pretended to bow. Henry was in surprisingly good spirits considering the terms of Regina's departure. Emma, on the other hand, seemed uncomfortable and out of place. She had grown up in foster care and she considered her Brooklyn apartment pretty upscale but this? This was a whole other level of money. She was drinking from a glass that she actually knew the brand of. They were drinking Fiji water instead of tap. She was pretty sure the flatware was actually silver. Emma glanced over at Regina and found her to be more beautiful than she had ever seen her. She was so calm, so collected, and so different than the woman who had shaken and screamed in Long Island. Regina sipped water from a crystal glass like it was perfectly formed for her lips. Emma felt her mouth go a little dry, so she reached for her own glass. It slipped out of her fingers and water spilled all over the table.

"Sorry!" She yelped. Regina smiled.

"It's fine, dear. Let me go get some paper towels." Regina said, rising. She returned with them and cleaned the spill. Everyone was relatively quiet through this, consumed with watching the regal woman. Henry watched to see if she had changed. Snow watched to see the woman she once knew. Emma watched to see this gorgeous vision be so "above it all" and yet so domestic simultaneously. How was Regina even possible?

"There. All better." Regina said, smiling.

"Thanks." Emma muttered. Was she blushing? She really, really hoped not. Not in front of the kid.

"So, Emma, what do you do for a living?" Mary Margaret asked once Regina had taken her seat.

"I am a bailbonds person."

"Oh. That sounds interesting." Snow said. She had no idea what that meant exactly, but didn't want to seem ignorant, so she didn't ask.

"It pays the bills." Emma said quietly. She felt so out of place. Her line of work only served to continue that separation. She felt so blue collar.

"Well, it sounds a lot more interesting than sitting at a desk all day. You probably don't even have to go to the gym." Regina said. Emma half-smiled.

"So, what do you do, Mary Margaret?"

"Oh. I am studying to become a teacher."

"Wow. That's cool."

"Yeah."

A silence fell over the table until they finished eating. Mary. Margaret thought to open a bottle of wine, but figured they probably shouldn't. Temptation would be cruel. Instead, Snow opted to help Henry with the dishes. Regina said she wouldn't mind handling the check.

"So, she promised you a million, right?" Regina said, fishing her checkbook out of her home office's desk.

"Yeah…but you know, I-"

"Please. You helped me in a big way, Miss Swan. Think of it as a gift." Regina said. She wrote the check and handed it over.

"I'm back to Miss Swan now? Oh man. I knew you were mad about me spilling that water." Emma flirted. Regina bit her lip and smirked.

"Thank you, Emma." She said. The words melted the blonde woman's heart and it took everything inside of her not to lean over the desk and kiss her.

"Did you mean what you said?" Regina asked.

"About what?"

"About wanting to keep seeing me?" The once regal woman looked so small asking that question. She was afraid of the answer, but she had to know. Emma sighed and closed the gap between them.

"I mean, this is a lot. I don't know." Emma heard herself say. Her body language and her words created a paradox between them, cold and hard. Regina swallowed slowly. Emma took the check off of the desk and looked at it, finally moving away.

"So that's it? You just wanted your money." Regina said, growing angry.

"No, Regina, it's not like that-"

"No? How dare you lie to my face." Regina snarled. Emma dropped the check on the desk and tried to embrace the other woman, but Regina wasn't having it.

"Perhaps it would be better if you just left."

"Regina, don't-"

"Don't order me around in my own home."

"Regina! Come on. This is a lot and you know it. What if I'm not ready for all of this?"

"Not ready for what, exactly? You were certainly ready to spread your legs for-"

"What if I'm not ready to have a kid!?" Emma shouted. The anger in the brunette's heart faltered. Tears welled up in the blonde's eyes and she tried to hide her face.

"I gave him up, Regina. I can't just swoop back into his life and expect him to forgive me!" Emma said, quieter now. The other woman gently approached her and drew her into a warm embrace. They were both so tired.

"Emma, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have…I should have realized."

"Yeah, you should have." Emma snapped, half joking. They stood wrapped up into each other for a few moments, then Regina pulled back.

"Why don't you go home? Take a break from all this. I'm not good at healthy pacing or boundaries or whatever. Why don't we talk soon?"

"Yeah." Emma said quietly. She kissed Regina's cheek, took her check, and allowed herself to be walked to the door. Snow and Henry sat in the living room with odd expressions on their faces.

"Emma's going to go home now." Regina announced. Henry nodded and rose to say goodbye. When Emma extended her hand for a handshake, Henry lunged toward her in a strong hug. He held her tightly and for longer than a moment. When he let go, he smiled.

"Bye Emma."

"Bye kid." Emma said, her voice cracking just a little. She made for the door rather quickly after that. Once she was gone, Regina exhaled a very long sigh. She was finally home, but this time was different. She had no armor anymore. She turned to the two expectant faces that scorched into her back. She felt naked now that Emma was gone. No one knew what to say exactly. Here she was; the mother and monster. She was home and now they were expected to carry on as normal, right? It was impossible to say. There were no rules for where they were now.

"So, how was Long Island?" Mary Margaret asked.

"It's lovely this time of year." Regina said quietly. Her skin itched.

"Oh, yes." Snow said. Silence returned. Henry fidgeted on the couch.

"So, you're better now? You're not going to do drugs anymore?" He asked suddenly. Regina tilted her head to the side, flooded with emotion. She had hurt this boy, this wonderful and amazing boy so much…All of her rages and revenges had seemed to important, but they had caught her son in the collateral damage.

"Yes." She said quietly, "I'm never going to do any of that again."

"I really did miss you." Henry whispered, tears springing to his eyes. Regina walked toward him, cautiously at first. Snow nodded encouragement to her and she sat down on the couch beside her son.

"I missed you too." She whispered. Then, she wrapped her arms around him and kissed his head. Emma's home coming was not so sentimental. She walked through the door and both James and Killian were nowhere to be seen. The door to their bedroom was closed though, so she smirked and paced in the kitchen. The smirk faded when she thought about her earlier conversations. A son. Her son. Ok, Regina's son…but…Fuck! This was too much. Maybe she could move to Boston, start up some new work. She's find clients and she would never have to see the socialite and her fucked up family ever again…but the thought of Regina lying alone in her bed made her sorry she even considered leaving. For better or worse, she wanted to sleep beside the powerful mess of a woman. Regina was a paradox wrapped in a nightmare, wrapped in a day dream, wrapped in a few more nightmares…Emma slammed her hands on the kitchen counter. She had a good gig going here. Why ruin it with the ball and chain of a child and his beautiful, but highly problematic mother? Emma knew the answer. She knew it and she hated it and she tried to fight it, but she knew. This enigma, this Regina, she had accidentally gotten under Emma's skin in a way that no other woman had.

"You alright there, love?" Killian asked, startling Emma from her stormy thoughts.

"Yeah. Where's James?"

"He's napping. He's always out like a light after a good shag." The former pirate said with a chuckle. Emma rolled her eyes.

"Nice." She said.

"You look like something's eating you."

"You're not wrong."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"That depends, are you going to flip out and call her a crazy slut again?" Emma asked. Killian sighed and took a seat at the kitchen table.

"Ah, so it's Regina. Man, you two really know how to pick 'em." He said.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean that both you and my beloved seem to have chosen the darkest hearts on the market." He said. He smiled at her, but fiddled with his prosthetic hand.

"You know, when I met James I was living the high life in Puerto Rico. I had a hook back then…I was neck deep in some pretty shady shit. I'm sure Regina told you how she knew me. She didn't lie, Swan."

"Yeah, she said you were a gun for hire."

"Yes. I was and then some…but I got tired of it. I had more money than I ever needed, but I was miserable. Then James struck up conversation with me at the bar."

"You look like you need a drink." James said, smirking. Killian sighed into his rum.

"Oh, I've had a few." He muttered.

"Are you here by yourself?"

"Isn't that obvious?" Killian snapped. James sighed.

"Easy there. I was just making conversation."

"Well, shove off, mate. I'm not in the mood." The pirate said, sadness clear in his voice.

"Was it a woman?" James asked gently. Killian just laughed.

"You know, you could say that. I just…I think I took a look into my future and I'm suddenly at a loss of what to do."

"Sounds heavy, man."

"Yeah. It is, man. So, will you please go away?"

"Do you really want me to?" James asked. Killian turned at looked at this strange and very nosy man who was interrupting his nightly sulk and found himself suddenly feeling the icy sting of loneliness.

"Fine. Stay if you must." Hook said quietly. James smiled.

"So, what's the future look like?"

"Now who's heavy?"

"Talking helps." The charming blonde said. Hook found himself smiling a bit.

"It used to look like heaven. No one to worry about you, or drag you down…Lots of money. But now? Now it just looks sort of empty. I had a client send me out on a job. No I'm not going to tell you what I do for a living. Anyway, this client, she was just so, I don't know. She was heartless and insatiable and so, so sad. It was so vividly apparent to me and I only met her once."

"And you think she is your future?"

"She was consumed by revenge and that reminded me of myself." Killian said quietly. He tapped the side of his glass with his good hand.

"So, why don't you let it go? Why not give up on your revenge?" James asked suddenly. As if it was so simple. He said it as though giving up on revenge was just a switch you flipped in your mind.

"Because the man who took my sister from me is still out there." Hook snarled. James sighed and looked at his watch.

"Then I guess you have a lot to look forward to." He said. He hopped off the barstool and fished a cocktail napkin out of his pocket.

"Here." He said, placing the napkin on the table, "If you change your mind."

Emma shook her head and laughed.

"Seriously? That's so lame." She said.

"It wasn't. I found it rather charming, actually."

"So, when did you call him?" Emma asked.

"I called him a few days later, actually, but that's not entirely the point of my story. My point is that Regina used to be a very different, very awful person. She's not that person anymore, it seems…and I'm not saying that you should fix her or that you're her savior or anything like that. I'm just saying that people do change, when they choose to. People change and if Regina really wants to, she might be ready for a happy ending." Killian explained. Emma shot him an incredulous look.

"Yeah. I'm not really worried about that part."

"Oh."

"She has a son, man." Emma admitted, sinking her head onto the table.

"Oh."

"Yeah, and not just any son. He's the same kid I gave up when I was 16."

"Wow."

"Yeah. Exactly. Wow."

"I thought you liked kids." He pointed out.

"I do. I love kids…I just- I like kids and I like Regina. I like all of it. It's just a lot." Emma said finally. Killian nodded.

"That it is, mate." He said smiling, "And when you finally let yourself have it; it's going to be amazing. Do you really like her?"

"I do. She went through a lot while she detoxed. I'm sure James told you the whole story."

"He did."

"Anyway, she went through so much and she was in so much pain, but she like, she pushed through. She was so beautiful and powerful. She's been through some shit, but she pulled herself out of it and it was really wild to watch." Emma said.

"Her mother is certainly something."

"Right? She was totally psycho."

"You met Cora? Wow. Things really are moving along, aren't they?" The former pirate said, laughing.

"Not like that. She sort of barged in during the detox and, man, it was intense."

"Cora's a tough pill to swallow for sure." Killian said. There was clearly something more to the statement, but he chose not to elaborate and Emma didn't ask.