Stamping on Butterflies
Chapter 14
!
"The bond that links your true family is not one of blood, but of respect and joy in each other's life." - Richard Bach
"Prisons are the temples where devils learn to prey. Every time we turn the key we twist the knife of fate, because every time we cage a man we close him in with hate." ― Gregory David Roberts, Shantaram
!
My eyes fluttered open to the sound of the doorbell.
I lazily looked at the clock besides the bed and was mildly surprised to see it was early evening – I'd slept away the last 24 hours. Apart from for basic human needs I hadn't moved from my fetal position for the entirety of the day. Ando had reassured me I could stay with him as long as I needed to and without his support who knew where I'd be stumbling and sleeping. The previous day when I'd fallen asleep in his arms he'd put me in his bed and taken the sofa without complaint.
Had I psychoanalyzed him I would have come to the conclusion he simply wanted to feel needed in a time where he'd failed those he was meant to protect. But really, I was in too much of a messed up state to even start to consider the mental health of somebody else.
My attention drifted to the ceiling when I heard a familiar voice at the door. It was a comforting voice, but not someone I wanted to see right then – I was too vulnerable.
"Is she here?" asked Inoichi with obvious worry.
"Yeah, she's in the bedroom," Ando said quietly, as if attempting not to disturb me. Inoichi let out a relieved sigh.
"Thank Kami. We've been out most of the day looking for her. When she didn't come back this morning we'd thought…" Inoichi drifted off at the end of the sentence and let the unspoken words ring in the air.
Run away? Been assassinated? Jumped off a bridge? Please, give me more credit.
"I guess that's why she picked my place; you wouldn't think to look here." Ando sounded very tired.
"Do you think I could…?" the Yamanaka clan head asked, lowering his voice.
"I don't think she wants to…" began Ando-sensei, probably waving his arms around in the fluttering worrying way that was so very individual to him. Already I'd noticed his movements weren't as bouncy or sincere as they had been before. They were bland and lifeless now, like he didn't have any energy left; or he just didn't care.
"No, I don't imagine she does," Inoichi said with another sigh, somehow heavier and more world weary than before. "Just let her know… well, just tell her I was here."
No one came to look for me after that. Inoichi probably reassured anyone else out looking that I was safe but needed some time and space.
When my old sensei left I grabbed the covers and pulled them over my head, squeezing my eyes shut tightly. I didn't start crying again but I wasn't ready to face the world just yet.
I decided to go back to sleep.
!
"We should probably talk about what happened," I muttered as I looked down at my tea. Unlike the previous day, Ando-sensei had forced me to get out of bed that morning. He sat me down in the living room delicately, as if I were to break in his hands were he to move too quickly, and grimly handed me a mug of tea. He took a seat opposite and an awkward silence filled the air as we both tried not to bring up the elephant in the room.
After three minutes at staring into my beverage I'd cracked.
"No," Ando said firmly, "we don't."
I felt tears well up in my eyes. Dammit I hadn't cried all of yesterday. Keep it together!
Realizing his mistake instantly he backtracked. "No," Ando said more gently and with pure exhaustion. "They asked an awful lot of you, you know? I'm ashamed I didn't notice that my… my students were…" He drifted off with a deep breath and I looked up as I felt pity grow in my chest. "Team 13 is gone and if what they told me is true, that they were spies for Oto… then I can't fault you for your actions." My sensei looked me right in the eye as he said these words and I knew he meant every one.
My reply got caught in a well of emotion in my throat and so I just nodded dumbly and we sat again in silence; this time it was more comfortable as we both digested the confession. Finally, I felt ready to speak.
"For what its worth you were a very good sensei," I said quietly but with equal truth. "You were a fantastic sensei, actually. Because you cared." If he hadn't of been a good sensei I wouldn't have run to him like I did in my time of need, and he wouldn't have taken me in with open arms and heartfelt care. I smiled at him slightly and he returned the gesture hesitantly.
"From what I see Nana, you have a lot of people who care about you," he said softly but with a meaningful look.
He was right; I did. But the idea of facing the world just hurt too much. I didn't want to see the disappointment and betrayal I'd seen in Neji's eyes or the hurt in Hinata's or even the worry in Shikamaru's. But I knew I'd have to eventually. "They're very worried about you, you know?" I swallowed and looked away but I knew his words to be true.
I am a liar and a murderer and a spy, but, sir, I am no coward.
"Yeah, I know…" I muttered and gave a sigh. "It was nice to have a little time away to cope. But I don't like leaving things hanging. I believe…" I closed my eyes and took a deep breath as I allowed a new type of resolve to take root in my chest.
I'd been hurt and I'd been traumatized during the exams. I'd had my cry and my time away from the world but it was time to take action and fix the mess that had gathered at my feet. "I need to sort some things out," I told Ando and the soft smile that graced his lips told me I'd come to the right conclusion.
!
"Thank you Ando-sensei," I said as I stood at the door a few hours later after a shower and a bite to eat, feeling significantly more confident in my decisions. It's funny how a full stomach and a bit of cleanliness can make you feel like you can take on the world.
"If you ever need anything. I mean, I know I'm not your sensei anymore but-" Before he could finish his sentence I cut him off with a heartfelt hug. He was shocked at first by the contact (I'd ever really hugged the guy before) but readily returned it with a chuckle.
"Thank you," I repeated as I pulled back, smiled the most brilliant smile I could give and was gone with the wind before he could reply. The sound of his worried shouts behind me just made me grin even more.
I got to the main Nara's house in no time - it was my obvious first point of call.
I'd been wearing the same clothes for a few days at that point and they stunk a little bit, so it was probably best to change before I attempted to do anything productive. Not only that but there was a little somebody I probably needed to see as soon as possible, lest he gain an ulcer from the stress.
I stepped up to the entrance and let myself in without hesitating or even thinking about the action. It was so natural as I'd been living there for most of the year I didn't even think twice. I stepped through and I could see the door leading into the kitchen was open and familiar voices drifted down the hall.
Before I could decide if I should get changed before I went to greet the household I heard the conversation in the kitchen abruptly stop. I heard footsteps approaching fast and within seconds came face to face with Shikamaru as he paused in the doorframe to the kitchen. He looked surprised and so blatantly relieved to see me it made me feel slightly uncomfortable - Shikamaru was usually the embodiment of subtlety.
I lifted my hand to my head and ruffled my hair in a gesture of guilt. Damn, I'd really worried the guy. "Hey-" I began but was cut off as my best friend quickly approached me and enveloped me in a hug.
He's hugging me optionally? I really, really worried him.
I returned the hug without complaint and, really, it felt nice to know that at least one person trusted me no matter what and wanted me to come home. We stayed like that for longer than was socially deemed acceptable.
I'd really, really, really worried him.
When he pulled back he looked like his father used to when he was scolding us when we were kids for making a mess or being too loud. But he didn't say anything; he just looked at me with deeply scrutinizing eyes.
"Are you going to say something or just stare at me?" I asked feeling very vulnerable and not liking it. "Take it from me when I say asking questions usually gets you further in life." I was trying to make a joke and this just caused Shikamaru's face to look even sharper at me.
"Go and get changed," Shikamaru instructed and the pure concern in his voice caused me to nod and do exactly what I was told. As I walked past my friend I saw Shikaku standing by the door and smirking at us as if we were a circus display. When I made eye contact with him his smile faded a little bit and the look of worry in his eyes mirrored his sons exactly.
I found some fresh clothes and brushed my teeth and hair and headed to the kitchen as quickly as possible so I could get the scolding and worried fretting out of the way. I made a mental note to appreciate it because there wouldn't be anything like this when I went to the Hyuuga compound.
I walked into the kitchen and found no sign of Shikaku, however Shikamaru standing by the back door with a mug of steaming tea in his hand. I spotted another one on the counter by the wall and went to grab it and take a sip.
It was Jasmine, my favorite, something Shikamaru knew very well.
"I'm sorry I worried you," I muttered as I went to stand next to my friend.
"Yeah, you should be," Shikamaru replied in a deep, serious voice.
A tense silence rang between us for a short amount of time as I tried to think up other ways to reassure the lazy Nara. He seemed uptight and on edge, whereas he was usually relaxed and laidback, and this spoke more of his true feelings then anything he might say. Guilt spilled into my stomach at the thought that I'd caused this.
"Look Shikamaru-"
"What Neji said-"
We both started to talk at the same time but stopped when we realized the other was speaking. I gestured for Shikamaru to continue, as all my words were was another apology.
"What Neji said in the exams isn't true," he said looking down at his mug held in both hands. The whites of his knuckles were showing which gave away the tight grip he held on the porcelain. He suddenly looked up at me and the emotion in his eyes surprised me a little bit and I swallowed involuntarily. "You love more than anyone I know. You try and give so much for so many; your clan, me and Choji, your work and even Naruto when he was younger when nobody else would talk to him. No one sees it because you're so subtle in your work and humble with your accomplishments. Please don't let his words affect you again."
I felt moisture gather in the corner of my eyes and I smiled up at my friend gratefully. I reached out and punched Shikamaru's arm in affection, both to instill a sense of normality and humour to the situation, but also so that the unusual display of emotions didn't get awkward. As quickly as it had appeared Shikamaru's open faced closed off and was replaced by annoyance but also amusement.
"Woman!" hissed the Nara heir as he relaxed his hold on the mug and moved his right hand to cradle his left arm.
"You're a true friend Shikamaru," I said as I winked and grinned. "Do you know what, I think we should have another hug!" I turned for a split second to put my mug on the counter but when I turned back the lazy teen was gone. Again, when he's motivated he can really move!
As soon as I was alone my manic grin slipped into a gentle smile and my heart warmed a little bit. It was nice to feel something positive instead of the usual nervous clenches that had taken hold of my life over the past months.
I laughed to myself quietly as I picked up my beverage again and walked further out onto the porch. I found Shikaku leaning against the wall a few metres up; obviously within hearing distance of mine and Shikamaru's conversation. I walked over, stood besides him and looked up at the guy with a raised eyebrow, but he just shrugged unrepentantly.
"What are you going to do now?" he asked looking out into the garden and forest behind the house.
"I'm going to go see Inoichi I think," I said with a shrug.
The smile on Shikaku's face told me he agreed with my decision and that I was making the right choice. We stood like that for a few moments; both of us lost in thought, before I gave a light cough and looked to the Nara clan head shyly.
"Shikaku, I was wondering," I began and the annoying man seemed amused by my discomfort. "I know that things are going to start changing with the Hyuuga clan after the chunin exams but…" I drifted off and looked to the sky in thought, struggling to find the right words.
"You've always got a place here if you need it. You're practically family after all," the Nara clan head said as he place a hand on my shoulder and gave it a gentle squeeze. I felt deeply touched at his words as I hadn't quite realized how much he cared for me. But I shouldn't have been surprised. In his eyes he'd seen me grow alongside his son and I'd called on the Nara household more than once in my time of need. And that's what family was after all, I'd said it myself in the arena; help each other when they need it and trust each other when they ask it of us.
His eyes looked dark as he studied me with a furrowed brow and a concerned smile. "I heard what happened during the exams and I'm glad you're alright." I broke eye contact and looked back up at the sky again.
"Me to," I whispered mostly to myself.
!
Later that day I walked into the Yamanaka flower shop and saw Ino sitting behind the counter and, as always, reading a magazine. When she heard the bell on the shop door go she looked up in interest and her face instantly lit up with surprise and happiness and… something else.
"DAD!" screamed the girl immediately as if the world was going to end and he needed to come quickly. I heard a thud and a panicked voice swearing aggressively in reply.
"Whagt!? Whagt's 'appened?!" I heard the muffled shout of Inoichi stumbling down the stairs and within seconds he had burst through the door half dressed with a toothbrush in his mouth and a shirt clutched in his hand. He first looked to his daughter with wide, worried eyes but when his gaze fell on my shocked form his shoulders dropped in relief.
"Io! I fough' it 'aw an emergency!" said Inoichi to his daughter in anger, toothbrush still in his mouth.
"Hey, you said for me to tell you the second Nana stepped through the door," Ino said brushing off his concern and returning to her reading. "Should have been more specific."
Inoichi gave Ino a disapproving look but decided he was more interested in me then the difficulties of his daughter. He took the toothbrush out of his mouth; his eyes alight with curiosity and concern, and opened his mouth to say something. However, before he could voice his thoughts, I interrupted him.
"Please put on some clothes," I said with distaste as I averted my eyes from his exposed chest, feeling uncomfortable. Hey, I was born a Hyuuga after all and you wouldn't tend to see anyone of my family walking around with anything more than an ankle out! I mean, Hinata didn't wear that ridiculously large coat for nothing.
For once more interested in my wellbeing than antagonizing me he pulled the shirt over his head quickly. He then smiled at me mischievously. "You used to have a crush on me, do you remember?" asked the man with a glint in his eye.
"Thank god that ship has sailed," I muttered under my breath as I rolled my eyes and suddenly found the ceiling a very interesting shade of light green. I heard a deep chuckle emit from my ex-sensei's chest and looked up to see a sad smile on his face and his hands hidden in his pockets.
"You know you worried me," Inoichi said softly, suddenly all serious. "I wasn't sure if you could do it. You've always been rather gentle in spirit you know, reluctant to hurt any body. And when Shikamaru came here after the exams all panicked and looking everywhere for you I thought that maybe something terrible had happened…" His eyes creased up as if he was smiling but really it was more of a grimace.
Out of the corner of my eye I saw Ino glance my way with the same look as her father. I just smiled at them both and looked down at the floor, unsure of what to say. Inoichi waited though, knowing I'd come here for a reason but he wouldn't push. I needed to ask for his help myself.
"Inoichi-sensei," I began with a breath and looked up to my old teacher with resolve. "I would like to talk to someone about what happened… if you happen to have a spare ear to listen, that is."
He looked... proud somehow.
"Of course," he said gently.
That evening, when I left the Yamanaka household, Inoichi pulled me into a bone crushing hug right before I could leave. I didn't begrudge him the exuberant affection. In all honesty I felt light; lighter than I had in months in fact. I'd talked about what had happened while I was on the team (Inoichi being completely in the know and so I hadn't disclosed any sensitive information) and all my conflicted feeling over the past month in regards to the mission.
It was nice to tell the truth for once and unburden myself with all my problems to someone I trusted and cared for. My troubles weren't gone, not by any means considering I had more life changing secrets then I had years in this world and the pressure of them would probably never completely go away, but even just a little bit of lifted weight made it that much easier to stand with my head held high.
I hugged him back; trying to get across my pure appreciation for his support and guidance, and as the warm feeling in my chest began to grow again I realized in that moment how much family I truly had within Konoha.
!
"Nana!" Hinata said with a genuine smile. I walked into the hospital room with the flowers Ino had given me the previous day at the shop and a shy smile escaping onto my lips.
"Heya," I mumbled, not knowing how I should address my cousin. If I were her I'd be very angry with me for stepping in, but really I should have known Hinata's brain didn't work like that. When I'd tried to apologize and explain my actions she just shook her head slowly.
"I'm a failure," she said solemnly and with a sad smile.
"What? No! Of course you're not," I reassured, meaning every word and grabbing Hinata's hand in support like she had done with me. "The strength of character you showed within that ring outweighs any shame you might feel in losing the match."
"But I was so clearly weak and helpless…" said the girl in a dejected voice and I looked down at our interlocked hands with a sad smile.
"You know I kept thinking 'I hope she stays down'," I told her in a soft voice. She removed her hand from mine and looked deeply hurt by my words. But I continued. "Every time he hit you I saw your pain and I wanted it to stop. And if that meant you stayed down, despite honour and pride and a stupid exam, then so be it."
Hinata sighed. "You're a very strange Hyuuga," she said gently but with great understanding. "But I know you mean well."
"I'm sorry for stepping in but your life is more important than any feeling of resentment or hurt pride," I told her with truth.
"Maybe one day I'll be strong enough for nobody to have to step in," said the young girl. I looked to my cousin and all I saw was a little 12-year-old girl with confidence issues. And yet, her eyes showed a deep determination to follow her goals and respect for the girl-child fluttered in my chest.
I picked up one of the little orange flowers in the bouquet Ino had prepared, leaned forward and slipped the bud into Hinata's hair with a soft smile. "The flower the blooms in adversity is the rarest and most beautiful of all…" God… did I just quote Disney?! "That's you Hinata. The more the world throws at you the stronger you get and the harder you fight back. I admire that greatly because I've been struggling every day to fight back – but you inspire me." Hinata's eyes shined with gratitude at my words and her smile could have lit a stadium it was so bright.
"Thank you… but Nana, you have so much strength and you always fight for what is right. You have a big heart," she said with kindness.
"If you admire that in me," I said touching the center of my chest. "Then you need to take a look in the mirror and see that the love in your heart is greater and stronger than anyone I know." I reached out and touched the centre of Hinata's chest gently.
We talked about more generic things after a while. I realized I didn't know who'd passed the preliminaries in the end and who was fighting whom during the 3rd round. Hinata, luckily, had been updated by her teammates and informed me of the goings on. It was a bit of a girly gossiping session but it was nice to casually chat with someone.
Apparently when I'd left Naruto had jumped down to confront Neji (predictable). However, apparently he'd not only claimed to fight for Hinata sake but he'd also announced that he would make Neji pay for making me cry. He said that he'd only ever seen me cry once in my life and he wasn't happy about seeing it again. I didn't think it could but my heart swelled a tiny bit more.
The fights had continued with Lee Vs Gaara and Choji Vs Dosu. Gaara and Dosu had advanced to the next round but, from what Hinata had heard, the fight between Lee and the sand genin had been very brutal and no one knew if Lee would walk again.
I knew she wanted to but she didn't mention the teammates of mine who had been killed within the arena. I think she thought I was in denial about the whole thing and the emotional outburst was just proof of the suppressed feelings. I let her think what she wanted; the going on within the second exam wouldn't be common knowledge until after the chunin exams at least.
The fighting pairs for the second round were, unsurprisingly, very similar to the first time around, and were as follows: Neji against Naruto, Temari against Shikamaru, Kankuro against Ino, Sasuke against Gaara and Dosu would play winner – that was, if he didn't die by Gaara's hands before then.
I left her after a few hours and idly made my way through the hospital to the check up with Mikata - a follow up of my injuries in the exams.
I stopped on my way, however, when I caught sight of an unconscious Rock Lee lying in a hospital bed within a private room. I peaked through the door and saw the kid sleeping peacefully but judging by the copious bandages covering his legs he was obviously very badly injured. I pulled the flower out of my hair, one Hinata had put in absentmindedly as we were talking, walked quietly into the room and put it on the table besides the boy. I glanced at the clock on the wall and realized I was running late for my appointment and so made a promise to return to give the suffering ninja some company. As I turned to leave I hesitated for a second as I felt a menacing presence approach the door.
The first sign of what was to come were the sand particles that danced across the floor and into the room, forming swirling patterns and delicate flowers. Following behind them was a red haired boy with a sinister charisma and bags under his eyes so hollow they were almost black. When he saw me in the room he stopped at the door and narrowed his eyes, releasing waves of malevolent chakra.
"Hello," I said with an impressively even voice.
"You're the Hyuuga girl," said the boy, rather rudely.
"And you're the Kazakage's kid," I said with a smile. "Nice to meet you too."
The boy sneered at my words. "It's never nice to meet me," he said.
"It's never nice to meet a lot of people," I said with an unsure smile as I shrugged my shoulders. In actual fact I felt like hitting my head against a brick wall repetitively. "Are you alright?" Why are you talking with a deranged psychopath?! And why are you making jokes with someone that probably has a sense of humor worse than Yoda?
We stood in awkward silence and stared at each other for a little while. His unblinking expression was unnerving but I'd always been able to hold even the most forceful stares. Gaara broke eye contact and looked behind me for a moment. He seemed to be weighing something up in his mind but when he looked back at me he'd obviously come to a definite decision about whatever it was.
"You said something in the exam. Tell me what you meant," demanded the red head with all the air of someone who usually got anything he asked for; through fear or because of whom his father was, who knew?
"You're going to have to be more specific," I said without any mocking in my voice. "I'm guessing you mean the fight with Neji and… about family and love?"
Gaara's eyes widened a minuscule amount at my guess and I gave a grave smile. I ushered us out of Lee's room politely, gesturing for him to lead the way, and we stood in the hallway facing each other critically.
"It always is," I said somberly as I leaned against the wall and looked to the suna-nin with half lidded eyes. It was a technique I'd learnt from Shikamaru about how to seem like you were bored and didn't really care much about the conversation and thus, hopefully, perceived less of a threat. "So, what is it you wanted to know?"
"You said that love is what family is for," Gaara said in his deep, husky voice. "But your brother didn't agree. Why?" Gaara obviously didn't realize that it was both a very private and sensitive matter to discuss family relationships with strangers. I didn't mind so much as I knew the boy wasn't looking for gossip but internal answers.
I felt sorry for the guy; he was 12 and was having a continuous existential crisis.
"Neji has had a lot of negative things happen in his life," I told Gaara gently.
"And that makes him unable to love?" pushed Gaara, trying to make sense of what I was telling him.
"Pain doesn't make you unable to love, it just makes it more difficult. People who have been hurt just have to work that extra bit harder to let people in." I didn't think I could quite explain this to the sociopathic child, considering he didn't even truly understand the concept of love, but I was trying my best.
Gaara just stared at me. "And you've been… ostracized? From your family." I think he was trying to reach out to me in understanding, having seen something of himself in my own supposed back-story.
"You seem to have heard the rumors," I said smiling ironically.
"No one likes you."
Burn.
"A few people still like me," I told the red haired boy with a sarcastic smile. His blunt opinions reminded me of a very small child that hadn't yet been taught to be polite and just asked what came to his head without thinking of how the other person might perceive it.
"But you have been shamed. Why would anyone like you?" he persisted.
"You've got to find the right people, I suppose."
"The right people?" He looked so confused the poor dear.
"Friends. People that like you for you," I explained carefully.
"How do you find those people if no one will speak to you," he asked, deadly serious and looking to me as if I had all the answers.
"Someone's always willing to speak to you." Unless you've done something really horrible and everyone hates you…
"Not when you're like me." He didn't say it in a self-pitying way but as if it was a known fact.
"I'm speaking to you," I told the boy carefully. He just looked back at me with more intensity.
"What about your family? Your brother." Gaara seemed more and more willing to talk to me the more I explained myself.
"Family is different. They'll be there no matter what, whether you want them to or not. Whether they want to or not. From what I gather you don't like your siblings very much, but they're still standing next to you."
"That doesn't mean love," hissed the boy, suddenly growing angry and I remained very still.
"No, but it's a start. And it's more than I've got with my brother right now," I said with deep honesty that Gaara seemed to pick up on.
"So you're saying you need other people to validate your existence," the red head nodded to himself, as if I'd confirmed something for him. I saw the grains of sand at his feet begin to roll around faster and faster in swirling patterns.
"You don't need validation for your existence; you just are. But people are nice to have around," I reasoned, not reacting to the sand in the slightest and continuing to make eye contact with Gaara.
"Nice to have around…" echoed the jinchuriki and he frowned again, as if confused. Gaara looked like he'd gotten the answers, or found the right questions he came for, and so nodded to himself again and then just walked away. No need for me to defend Rock Lee from death by sand suffocation and no need to fend off killer sand trying to crush my bones. Without a fight or even a fit of violence, it was… unexpected.
"Nice to meet you too," I muttered letting out a nervous laugh.
I wonder if he can turn off the killing intent ever, because that was intense beyond words.
I found myself suddenly standing alone and I had to shake myself visibly to dislodge the unsettling feeling that had crept up my spine.
"Well…" I said incredulously to myself before I headed down the corridor and on my merry way. I wasn't sure that the conversation would change anything at this point for Gaara, but I certainly gave him food for thought.
Mikata gave me a disapproving look when I walked in late. He began the medical examination swiftly and none to carefully. Soon he'd signed me off with no lasting affects from the poison and a fully functioning foot.
"I would have liked to have done something about this scar," muttered the medic with a clinical eye as he examined my neck. "It was healed very crudely."
"The field first aid application probably saved her life. Her life is more important than a scar," said a voice at the door.
"Oh, you do care," I said in a monotonous voice as I looked at my father over my shoulder sarcastically. Mikata looked at Hizashi with a frown and a sigh.
"You know only immediate family within the room during an examination," the medic muttered as he began to pack up his stuff. "Lucky for you I've finished."
"Don't leave on Hyuuga-sama's account," I told Mikata, suppressing a smile. "You were here first."
The medic looked at me with amusement as he closed his bag and grabbed all his things.
"Thank you for the thought Nanami, but you are funnily enough not my only patient," said the man, though he looked tempted to take me up on my offer if only to antagonize my father. "I'll be off. Good day."
Mikata left and the door slammed behind him on the way out. There was an awkward silence in the room as I jumped off the examination bench and turned to my only parent.
"You shouldn't frown you'll get worry lines," I said mockingly.
"You get more and more insolent every year," Hizashi grumbled.
"I'm guessing you were here to see Hinata," I observed and narrowed my eyes in suspicion. "That's… unexpected." Hizashi avoided eye contact with me as he stood just inside the room. "You came to see me didn't you?" I asked sighing.
"Both," said my father coldly. "Mikata informed me of your injuries."
"Traitor," I muttered with a pout as I cross my arms.
"Are you…" he coughed uncomfortably and I looked up, finding his awkwardness funny. "…well?"
"Mentally or physically?" I asked rhetorically.
"Both," he repeated.
"A man of many words as always." I strolled around the edge of the room and brushed my hand across various instruments.
"You're avoiding the question," Hizashi said with impatience, still standing stoically by the door. There was another pause, this time it was longer and left me time to think on what I really wanted to say to my father.
"Neji is so lost," I whisper as I stopped in front of the model skeleton in the corner. "You need to help him otherwise he will lose himself beyond recognition."
"You blame me," Hizashi said. It wasn't a question.
"It's natural to want to blame your parents for everything bad that happens in your life," I said, still staring in to the cold, dead eyes of the teaching skeleton and still not giving an answer to his original question. I sighed and slumped my shoulders. "But there is no denying that you are partly to blame." I glanced to the side over my shoulder. "But I'm not judging you."
"The fight between the two of you has been coming for a while," Hizashi observed. "Maybe now things will progress."
"Yes. Maybe after the exams things will become clearer to him," I said with an all-knowing smile nobody could see. A heavy silence filled the room and tired of the little game I caved in and gave my father a straight answer. "I'm fine now. But I'm not the one you need to worry about," I said gently as I turned to address my father with a tight smile.
He just looked at me with mostly blankness, but concern slipped onto his features subtly. "And yet you are the one I worry about most," he said.
I just stared at him with wide eyes; surprised at his confession and feeling I should say something witty in return. Before I could think, however, Hizashi had left the room and there was just a creepy skeleton present to witness my utter confusion.
"Family," I said to myself in exasperation, and I left the hospital quickly lest I run into someone else troublesome.
!
"So…" began Yoda as we sat at Ichiraku's and munched on ramen. "You had an emotional break down during the exams then?" My partner said it so casually that I choked on my food a little bit from surprise.
"Try again Jedi, but this time say it quieter, more seriously and look concerned," I suggested as I took a sip of water. "And be more subtle."
"So…" began Yoda, frowning as if worried and lowing his voice as if to say something important and serious. "How are you?"
I rolled my eyes. "Less subtle than that. It needs to be a leading question," I criticized and stuffed my face as if completely unconcerned with the topic of conversation.
"Just answer the question," complained my partner with impatience.
"I'm fine," I said giving him a look that said he better not keep going on about it.
"Nana…" began Yoda with a disapproving glance but I cut him off.
"Really, I am!" I said as I wave my arms in front of me with exasperation. "I've spoken with Inoichi about it so don't worry okay?"
We sat in a tense silence for a few moments.
"You lied to me before," said the ex-ROOT operative with a blank face. "On the roof after the second exam."
"I didn't want to worry you," I muttered feeling guilty again all of a sudden and not meeting my partner's eyes.
"I trust you not to lie to me," Yoda said, frowning and looking almost hurt.
"That wasn't an interrogation room Yoda. If you ask someone a question about how their feeling 50% of the time expect a lie." I took a bite of my meal and shrugged to my partner with a 'what can you do' expression. "You know 'I'm fine' is the most common lie after all," I said softly as I stared off into space thinking about the number of times I'd used those exact words untruthfully.
Then I remembered whom I was talking to. I looked to Yoda quickly and found him thinking fiercely on what I'd just said. "Wait no! Backtrack. Just… people don't want to talk about things like that sometimes. It doesn't mean you can't trust them or that they are lying…"
He wasn't listening to me and I gave up trying to explain emotions to my dysfunctional partner.
Ahhh, whatever… I thought as I began eating again.
"By the way, how is the interrogation going with… you know…?" I asked casually knowing Yoda probably wouldn't read anymore than curiosity into the question.
"It has been rather brutal," said my partner with a contemplative look and a ghost of a smile. Is it worrying that sadistic tendencies no longer worry, unsettled or even surprise me? Probably. I hadn't heard any information about Yoroi since the second exam and the not knowing was practically killing me. "A tough one to crack, certainly, but we managed it in the end."
"So you got the answers you were looking for. Good," I nodded. I knew I wouldn't be within the clearance level to know the information revealed inside the interrogation and so I didn't even ask. "Ibiki helped then?"
"Inoichi actually," Yoda said. "I never realized the Yamanaka was so aggressive. Does it have something to do with his emotional connection to you? Ibiki mentioned something about him being worried about you."
I bit down a smirk but shrugged my shoulder. "Now where is Yoroi?"
"He's currently being kept sedated at a secure location." My mind was minutely put to rest on the subject of my still-alive teammate.
Yoda opened his mouth to say something, probably a stupid question, when he was interrupted by a loud shout.
"Four bowls of your finest stuff Ichiraku my man!" announced Naruto as he jumped up onto the stool at the bar. Sasuke settled down on the seat next to me, gave a greeting smirk and ordered his own meal quickly.
"Where's Sakura?" I asked the Uchiha curiously. Before the boy could answer the jinchuriki seemed to notice my presence and cut off his teammate loudly.
"Hey Nana! How are you doing after the fight with Neji? Man, I'm going to make him pay for making you cry! Believe it!"
"Subtle as always Naruto," I mumbled as the blond began to scoff his food with as much sophistication as a rhinoceros in a mud bath. However, I did smile at my friend in appreciation at his defense of me.
"'hat 'happen' oo woo?" Naruto asked as he continued to stuff his face without pausing for breath.
"Don't talk with your mouth full dobe," Sasuke criticized eating his food with all the elegance expected of an Uchiha.
"'ut ud 'eme!" shouted the blond and a very familiar argument between the two genin broke out.
"Nana, judge this competition! I know I'm better than this bastard!" demanded Naruto as he rolled up his sleeve and stood up with an exaggerated flourish. I smiled indulgently at Sasuke as the Uchiha looked at me with deep annoyance and calmly continued with his meal.
"Does this always happen?" Yoda asked me as he watched the two bicker with outright fascination.
"Always," I said with fondness. "But I haven't been asked to judge a competition for a few years."
"Hey Naruto, weren't you supposed to meet Kakashi 2 hours ago?" Sasuke commented, feigning confusion. I muffled a laugh and took another bite of my food as I watched the blond panic, swear and run towards the training fields with a call over his shoulder that it wasn't over.
The three of us laughed in good humor but soon enough Yoda left with the excuse he had some actual, real life work to do.
"Just because you get a month of slacking doesn't mean I do to," complained Yoda. "No fair, we're meant to be a pair. I thought that's what partners were for," he mumbled under his breath as he jumped onto the roofs of the hidden leaf village and disappeared from sight.
A comfortable silence fell between Sasuke and I before I broke the peace with a question.
"So are you working with Kakashi or your family to train up for the final exam?"
"Why do you ask that?" he said with suspicion. I just gave him a looked that said did he think I lived under a rock?
"Your Sharingun…?" I said as if talking to a small child.
"Oh," he commented, then came to life for a split second as he told me his exciting news. "Well actually it's great because after what happened in the forest my brother said he'd train me!"
Sasuke, you were definitely not meant to mention anything to do with what happened in the forest. I know, because I got the same briefing. Oh well, just pretend I didn't hear it.
"So Kakashi's stuck with Naruto then?" I said, quickly changing the subject. "Better than being stuck with you I suppose."
"Hey, what's that supposed to mean?!" asked the boy easily taking the bate.
Ahh goading Sasuke, I'd missed this…
"Nothing. Just, you know, Naruto would probably learn so much more…." I drifted off with an innocent shrug.
"I'd learn ten times more than the dobe!" he snapped and then frowned as he caught my amused expression. He looked at me with annoyance and went back to his food as he sulked. "Oh, ha. Ha. Ha," he mumbled sarcastically. I just sniggered a little bit and finished my meal. As I paid for my food (and Yoda's who apparently had 'forgotten to pay'. Dammit, I'd get him back) Sasuke looked at me out of the corner of his eye.
"Are you really alright?" he mumbled with a frown. Now, can you just imagine the first Sasuke asking this to someone? You know, that self involved little emo kid?
I grinned at Sasuke and nodded at him sweetly. He looked at me in apprehension as if I was about to do something he wouldn't like. Before I could enact the grabby, love filled hug I had planned for the cutie we were interrupted.
"Sasuke we need to-" Itachi came up behind us suddenly and both the younger Uchiha and I jumped out of our skin at the unexpected presence. I even gave a yap of surprised that caused a few heads to turn and look at where the strange noise was coming from.
"Will you stop doing that," I breathed as I looked at the Uchiha heir in disapproval.
"Oh sorry," Itachi said, not sounding sorry in the slightest. A type of light appeared in his eyes when he looked between to the two of us. "…are you on a date?"
"What?!" shouted Sasuke in genuine horror and seemed to begin to lean away from me. Seeing an opportunity I pounced.
"Oh Sasuke-kun!" I shouted as I threw my arms around him and clung on for dear life. "You don't have to pretend. I'm not embarrassed to be seen in public with you!"
"No!" Sasuke said, trying to remove himself from my clutches and being surprisingly successful. Hmm, must be all the experience dodging and escaping fangirls. "But I am embarrassed to be seen with you!" Sasuke jumped off the stool and stood behind his brother, using Itachi as a type of barrier.
"You can't hide behind me," Itachi said with a quiet laugh.
"I can and I will," Sasuke told his brother in a voice that allowed no argument.
"But Sasuke-kun!" I jumped off the chair as if desperate but the younger Uchiha disappeared down the high street faster than I'd ever seen him move. Funny how that had seemed to be the reaction I'd been getting from a lot of my friends recently.
Itachi laughed as he watched this. I looked to the man in a kind of awe as he freely chuckled at his younger siblings antics, still very unused to this side of him. He seemed so very light and I couldn't help the smile the grace my lips as I heard the sound. Maybe all my suffering and worrying had been worth it if I'd been able to allow this very kind man to be able to laugh freely in his life. He stepped forward quickly and put some money on the counter before giving me a wave and turning and following in his brother's footsteps.
Yet, as Itachi walked away he glanced back at me quickly and our eyes met for a split second. I just smiled and winked at the Uchiha and a flash of amusement shot through his eyes as he turned back around again to leave.
That interaction had been a bit like me and Shikamaru strangely enough. We didn't need to say anything. Itachi wanted to know if I was alright… you know, considering it was him who piggy backed me across the forest of death while I was high. He didn't seem angry anymore, just relieved that everything was all right now.
As soon as he'd turned away I relaxed for a moment, feeling suddenly tired of constantly reassuring people. In my brief instant alone I took a breath and closed my eyes for a second, shaking my head to rid it of anything unwanted.
"You do that," commented a voice and, for the second time within about 5 minutes, I jumped out of my skin. I gave Itachi an unimpressed looked at his reappearance, but in truth he hadn't even moved from where he'd been standing before, and had just simply turned back around again.
"What?" I snapped, annoyed at being caught off guard.
"Your smile; it drops when you think no ones looking." The Uchiha heir looked me up and down with a brief glance, frowning unhappily, before meeting my eyes for a split second. I didn't comment on his words but remained silent and unnerved at Itachi's observation. Eventually he gave another nod and this time I watched him walk away into the crowd until he was swallowed up in the bustling street and out of sight.
I smiled a lot more than usual that day.
!
The rest of the month passed quickly and more often than not I was playing shogi with Shikamaru among with the rest of team 10 as we all lay scattered on the decking or in the Nara back garden.
"You really should train," I said to Shikamaru. "So should you," I scolded Ino as she lay in the grass and played with her hair. "And you should be motivating them," I said to Asuma as he sat on the porch, stole potato chips from Choji and smoked.
"Chill…" said the jounin-sensei. I was pretty sure that tobacco wasn't the only thing he was smoking.
"What about me Nana?" Choji asked stuffing his face.
"Go and do 20 laps of the Nara forest," I said suppressing a smirk. Choji laughed, knowing I had no such expectations of him and was being playfully ironic, but Asuma puffed in a bit too much smoke in shock at my words and started coughing violently.
"If you ever-" cough "manage to get choji to-" cough "do that then I'll take you and team 9 out for a barbeque," Asuma said with a wheezy laugh. I looked at the sensei with amusement and then at Shikamaru and Choji smugly. Both had looks of pure dread on their faces.
"No, Nanami we're not-" Choji began.
"Nana, we don't need to-" Shikamaru started saying.
Before either of them could finish their sentences I grabbed them by the front of the shirt and pulled them into a standing position.
"Ow woman!" complained the lazy Nara as he swatted my hand away.
"I'm not even doing the exams!" Choji wailed, but I wasn't having any excuses.
"Ino!" I shouted, to which she jumped up instantly and saluted to me.
"Yes Sir!" she shouted back.
"Will you be on my team?" I asked innocently to which she nodded smiling and came and stood to my left. Choji and Shikamaru began to pale, recognizing the game from when we were kids, and began to back away slowly.
"Okay we'll do the laps!" Choji screamed and started running. Shikamaru just glared at the puzzled jounin-sensei with unwavering intensity before running off after his friend.
"So, what are you playing?" asked Asuma completely amazed at the picture of Choji running away.
Ino and I just looked at each other in glee before chasing after the boys with loud, wailing battle cries. "Man Hunt!" we screamed together and disappeared around the corner.
I felt like it was a successful afternoon and I'd even got a free meal out of it. Although, Choji refused to talk to me for the rest of the day, so I had to buy him some potato chips and we called it even.
As the final exam drew closer and closer there were no incidents at the hospital that involved a vicious Gaara and terrified genin. I had a feeling that was my doing.
Dosu, however, did go missing for a few days but his remains turned up eventually. Oh well, one less person to worry about during the invasion.
!
I found myself sitting in the stands of the Konoha arena looking down as the proctor called Neji and Naruto to fight. My heart was beating in my chest with pure nerves as I waited with bated breath for the fight to begin.
"Why are you so tense Nanami?" Hanabi asked with mild concern. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Hizashi glance at me in warning.
"Just nervous for Neji is all," I said with a tight smile.
"Don't be nervous; Neji will definitely win," she reassured with childish conviction.
"That's what I'm worried about," I mumbled unintentionally.
My younger cousin looked at me oddly and my father took a breath of patience. I was seated with Hizashi and Hanabi in the crowd on my insistence.
"You're not sitting with us," Hizashi told me with a voice that brooked no argument just as he was preparing to leave the compound and head to the final exams.
"Think of one good reason why not!" I'd cried out with indignation, leaning against his desk.
"Because you'll make unhelpful comments," muttered the man and I looked at him with an unimpressed expression.
"You're a full grown man, somehow I think you'll cope," I said rolling my eyes and putting my hands on my hips.
"But Hanabi won't," he told me with a pointed look, pulling an extra layer on over his shoulders and tying it tightly around his waist with a material belt. Seriously, the Hyuuga needed to stop wearing so many clothes. It was late spring!
"I promise I wont say a single judgmental word," I told him with a serious voice.
"And…?" he said, prompting me with impatience.
"Or anything that might give Hanabi ideas! Okay, okay done now?" I muttered with a pout.
"We are still technically on orders to alienate you from the clan," Hizashi reminded me but I just gave a sigh of exasperation and threw my hands in the air dramatically.
"It's not like it's going to make a different at this point." And it really wouldn't matter considering the invasion was that day and any suspicions from spies surrounding me, like 'oh look Nanami is sitting with her family! I didn't realize they were talking again', would be shadowed in comparison to an entire invasion. Somehow, I think the invaders had bigger things to worry about. The secrecy of my mission at that point was mostly a precautionary measure anyway.
"Fine," he said in a blank voice that held undertones of amusement – although he'd never admit it.
"Oh Nanami, are you coming with us to the chunin exams?" Hanabi asked with a smile as she walked calmly into the room.
I greeted her with a light bow and nodded to the child kindly.
I rarely saw the young girl, but from what little time I had spent with her I found she was sweet and quiet but not as kind or gentle as Hinata. She would do well as the leader of the clan one day due to her caring and yet stoic personality. From what I gathered Hanabi loved and idealized Hinata greatly and didn't agree with the harsh treatment 'Hiashi' had put her through. When I had been ostracized (still being ostracized technically as Hizashi hadn't called it off yet) she seemed to follow Hinata's lead and didn't treat me any differently from what she had before.
But, like I said, I never saw much of the girl anyway so I didn't notice much either way.
Naruto and Neji took their position in the arena, both leaking unchallengeable confidence. My brother, however, was verging on arrogance whereas Naruto just seemed as determined and unshakable as always.
"Begin," Hayate shouted and I tried to prepare myself for a long-winded speech about fate.
I suppose I should also mention that Gekko Hayate was still alive and still in charge of the third round. I presume since he didn't over hear Kabuto and Baki, the sand siblings instructor, discussing the invasion then there was no reason for him to die. I ignored the horrible feeling I always got when I witnessed my impact on the world, but I figured I should be more used to it by now.
Naruto, it seemed, was one of those unwavering things that had such a clear-cut path to greatness his actions were hardly effected by my existence in the universe. As such, the fight between Neji and the jinchuriki was extremely similar, minus a few minor differences.
Neji's holier-than-thou attitude came out in full force and he tried his best to put down Naruto and show him how he would always be a failure in life. In reverse, he talked about his natural genius and that because he was a branch family member he would never be completely able to reach his full potential.
And boo-hoo wasn't fate unfair!?
God I regretted not being able to pull Neji out of his pity party any sooner. Naruto's shadow clones enclose my brother but he easily fought them off. It was revealed after a small while that the byakugan couldn't seem to distinguish between the shadow clones and the real Naruto.
"No matter," Neji declared, and then enacted revolving heaven to destroy all of the clones and plant the sixty-four palm seal on Naruto, completely blocking off his chakra. The blond held his stomach as if in pain but remained standing and snarling at my brother.
"I don't believe you!" Naruto shouted with a vicious growl. "I believe anybody can be anyone they want to be! Just because people perceive you as one thing doesn't mean you can't grow and change beyond anything anyone ever imagined. Destiny is something you make for yourself. I was dead last once but now I'm going to win this fight!"
"Don't you see?" Neji sneered looking disdainfully at the blond. "No one can escape their fate…" Neji removed the bandage from around his head slowly and with great care. When he revealed the caged bird seal to the world I couldn't help but stare at it with fascination. I'd only ever seen the seal once, the day after Neji had received it, and the mark on his forehead was exactly how I remembered.
Neji went onto bitterly explain his past and it was like I was reliving that time all those years ago. Hizashi and I exchanged a looked as Neji began his tale and I saw the same deep rooted fear in my fathers eyes as I felt in myself. It was the question we had wondered after for many years; how had Neji perceived his fathers "death"?
Not very well apparently.
He talked about Hinata's third birthday and his own subsequent branding. He then told Naruto about the fight within the dojo between Hiashi and Hizashi and how Neji's father had been suppressed using the curse seal simply for feeling injustice over his slavery.
Then he talked about the night our father had died. "He was forced to give his life to save the head of the clan. This is the branch family's destiny; to be in servitude to the main house until our death. It is lonely and suppressive."
"But you had your sister!" Naruto shouted and I swallowed down a lump in my throat as I got dragged into the fight. I suppose I should have seen it coming, after all I was a big part in Neji's life and had been a good friend of Naruto's for many years. "I may not know much about yours and Nana's relationship but I know she would have tried her hardest to care for you. You can't be lonely when you have someone to love you!"
Naruto was so naive in his view of the world - it was sickeningly refreshing. I felt a few pairs of eyes on the back of my head but I pretended to be too engrossed in the fight to really notice or care. I knew what Neji was like and a few choice words about love and freedom couldn't change his mind about anything. He needed to be shown that fate was something you made yourself.
I knew better than anyone that nothing was set in stone.
"What could Nanami do? She, by the luck of the gods, was not born with our Kekkei genkai and thus was not sealed. How could she understand?" My brother wasn't facing our direction but, with his byakugan activated, I knew he was looking right at me. Naruto was silent for a moment, looking down to the floor with clenched hands.
"Did your sister ever tell you about the day that her and I became friends?" My heart clenched at Naruto's words and a sad smile made it's way onto my face.
"As I recall she got beaten up," Neji observed, clearly curious at where the blond was going with this.
"That's not how I remember it," Naruto counteracted smiling at the memory. "She was my first real friend in the world, you know. As far as I saw she had friends and loved one and she was pretty happy with life. But when these kids started picking on me she just turned around and started a fight; her first day and with kids in the year above she picks a fight. For me! No one had ever given me the time of day before, let alone stood up for me.
"And then she won. I just stood there dumb struck as she fought off these older kids like it was nothing. I didn't even think of joining in I was just so amazed. So when she turned around and asked me why I didn't help her I felt so bad. She had been there for me, this random girl who didn't even know who I was, and I didn't even give her a hand.
"I felt terrible for not helping when it was my own fight. Now, like I said I don't know anything about yours and Nana's relationship, but I know she would have had your back for years now, supporting you and giving you as much love as she possibly could. Because she's that type of person and I wonder… were you there for her when she needed it? Because I'd put money on no, you weren't."
Neji didn't seem to react to the allegation but I knew my brother enough to know that Naruto had said something that deeply unsettled him. Naruto continued when he didn't answer the question.
"And then she told me that in the future I was big enough and ugly enough to sort myself out. But I know that Nanami has my back if I need it. And I have her back as well! All these things about her being a bad ninja are complete crap. Nana's one of the strongest, kindest people I know! She can't even use ninjutsu and yet she graduated the academy a year before everyone else.
"She saw that I was this little kid with no friends and she seemed to understand that I needed help. So don't you tell me that she wouldn't understand you; her own brother. Its like she can read minds, she knows exactly what's going through everybody's head. She tried to help you just like she tried to help me. The only difference is you're so self absorbed you wouldn't even notice someone reaching out in kindness."
Oh Naruto, I'd never realized how much it had meant to you.
"Like I said; she has been fated with great luck, even if she is lacking in other skills," Neji said, bitingly. "I don't see her standing in the arena now. From what I hear, she couldn't even keep her teammates alive in the second exam. Some people don't deserve support when they have dishonored themselves so shamefully." I knew he was lashing out as he felt uncertainty rise up within him from Naruto's words, but that didn't make it any better. I could almost feel Neji's intention to hurt me, but unfortunately for him I just felt boiling, furious anger.
Oh. No. He. Didn't.
"Don't. You. Dare," hissed Hizashi in my ear as he reach across and pushed me back down into my seat. I hadn't even noticed I'd stood up.
"What?" I hissed back. "I was just going to call him a self righteous little prick."
Hizashi pinched the bridge of his nose in utter horror and embarrassment and gave me a death glare worthy of a tailed beast. I just sat down peacefully and looked back to the arena, thoroughly chastised. Before Hanabi could open her mouth and ask what a 'prick' was she was interrupted by Naruto's determined exclamations.
"Right, that's it! Let's fight!" Naruto shouted, tired of the verbal battle, and the volatile kyuubi chakra began leaking out of all of his pours. "No one talks about my friends like that! I'm going to show you how as long as you wish to be something, you can do anything! For Hinata, for Nanami and for my own satisfaction of kicking your ass!"
"You might as well give up!" exclaimed Neji with arrogant triumph. "You have no chakra available to you. Your chances were slim before but now they are nonexistent."
And so Naruto, of course, started using the Kyuubi chakra.
"Never a dull moment Naruto," I mumbled with a small smile.
Naruto and Neji's battle grew even more vicious and quick, but with Neji's chakra surely near depleted and Naruto having taken multiple unhealthy beatings, it seemed like it was drawing to an end as both boys grew more and more exhausted. Naruto, in a last ditch effort it seemed, charged at Neji with a significant force behind his blow. The Hyuuga genius predicted the move and skillfully used the revolving heaven once again to deflect the fist.
Both genin were flung apart and dust and smoke rose in the arena, obscuring the outcome of the clash. When it was revealed that Neji was still standing and Naruto had been knocked out cold the crowd erupted in cheers.
"Neji won!" Hanabi cheered as she clapped her hands and looked to me with a smile. When she saw I wasn't celebrating her smile dropped. "Nana?"
"It's not over yet," I told the young girl.
"Thank you for proving me right. You were always destined to lose this fight," Neji shouted across the arena towards the downed blond. "My natural genius was no match for your-"
As in my memories, Naruto burst from the ground of the arena and landed an uppercut to the Hyuuga genius' chin.
"Will you shut up?!" Naruto sneered at my brother with a victorious grin. Neji fell to the floor unconscious and the painful fight was finally over. It was then that I allowed myself to cheer along side the rest of the audience.
As I clapped I glanced over at my father but he didn't meet my eyes; he just sat looking at his hands in shame and deep pain.
He caught my eye and I restrained the urge to say 'I told you so'. I didn't say anything judgmental, just like I promised I wouldn't, and instead I just looked away from my father with a tight jaw and a blank face.
That seemed to be all the convincing he needed. Hizashi left before the next fight began.
Shikamaru and Temai's battle was intense to say the least; intense for them, that is. Once the initial situation had been set, with Temari stuck in a position that meant she couldn't move and Shikamaru patiently and calmly watching and waiting for her to make a misstep, things started to get a little boring for the crowd. So much so that half way through Hanabi and I got up to go and get some sugared nuts and a cup of tea and when we came back still nothing had happened.
"Isn't he your friend?" Hanabi ask with slight accusation.
"Yeah, but he's usually not this boring," I told her with a helpless shrug. Eventually the fight ended with Shikamaru catching Temari in his shadow jutsu but then forfeiting the match due to his depleted chakra. It was overly anti-climatic and the audience was fitfully unimpressed.
Kankuro and Ino's fight was cancelled, much to Ino's relief, when the sand genin forfeited before the whole procession had even begun.
"Gaara verses Uchiha Sasuke," Hayate called from the centre of the arena once the area had been cleared. I glanced subtly behind me and saw the ANBU and jounin in the crowd making discrete formations. I stood up slowly and started to make my way to the examinee's waiting stand.
"And where do you think your going?" grumbled Hanabi with anger at almost being ditched. Oh right, yeah I forgot about her. I turned around quickly and knelt down to the seven year olds eye level.
"I need to speak to my friends," I said with urgency that the bright young child picked up on instantly.
"Nana, is everything alright?" she asked concerned.
"Everything is fine, Hanabi. But I need you to stay with Suki until your father comes to get you." I glanced at Suki who was sitting a few rows behind and beckoned her over. The surrogate mother seemed displeased at being called like a dog but approached us nonetheless. Suki agreed to with stay with Hanabi and keep her safe and with this agreement I ran towards the exam participants observation booth so that I could warn my friends and have their back during the conflict.
On my way I unintentionally ran past the medical bay door and saw that Hizashi and Neji were still talking.
Come on people time is of the essence!
"Umm, guys?" I said as I stuck my head in the room. "Just to warn you there is going to be an invasion in five minutes. Just in case you wanted to wrap it up." Neji and Hizashi looked to me with surprise at my interruption but quickly Hizashi nodded, being a jounin and thus been made aware of the invasion, and made his way out of the room and rounded the corner. But not before asking where Hanabi was to which I reassured him she was in Suki's safe hands.
I turned to follow after my father but was stopped by Neji's call. I looked over my shoulder and saw that he had his head bowed and was looking at something in his lap.
"This letter…" Neji said, gesturing to what he held tightly in his hand. "It's from father before he…" He looked up at me with wide, open eyes that told me he'd just been on the brink of tears. "It explains his choice." I smiled softly at my brother and felt a small spark of hope flitter in my chest.
"I don't need to see it," I told Neji. "I have no doubt that our father loved his brother and that the end was his choice." That was a lie considering our father was still alive and hadn't gotten the choice to end his life but had that taken away from him as well, but Neji didn't need to know that right this second (not that I could tell him, mind). "It's what family is for after all," I mumbled, giving Neji a sideways looks that subtly said 'haha I told you so'. He just frowned and looked unsure.
"Why didn't you-"
"Say anything?" I question with a quirk of the lips. "Would it have changed your mind? I know you very well Neji and you're stupidly stubborn and you have this idea that you should do everything your self." I smiled sadly at the person I probably loved more in the world than anyone else. "Maybe that could change now…"
"Hiashi said that things with you at the moment aren't exactly what they appear," Neji said as he stared at me with a frown. "He said that you're very much like father was."
"Did he now?" I asked with an exasperated expression, uncertain how I should react. I guess my father was trying to make up for something or he truly saw what my broken relationship with Neji was doing to me.
"What did he mean?" Neji asked, almost scared to hear the answer. "You've been lying about something, I know that, but-" The entire stadium rumbled from Gaara and Sasuke's fight and both Neji and I visibly had to steady ourselves.
"I'll tell you when this is all over, okay?" I reassured, hovering by the door and realizing time was of the essence. Any anger or frustration I had felt towards my brother was taking a necessary backseat in light of the coming situation.
"Nana-"
"I promise. After the invasion, yeah?" I told my brother as I turned around and sprinted out the door. I caught up with Hizashi pretty quickly as he was walking at a more moderate pace.
"You gave him a letter?" I asked Hizashi, suppressing a smirk as I strolled besides him.
"I told you I am not his father and so cannot help him. The letter his father wrote before his death, however, might be sufficient enough," said the clan head blankly.
"You wrote it 10 minutes ago didn't you?" I chuckled as a giddy feeling grew inside me. Hizashi looked down at me with a raised eyebrow and I smiled back at him.
"Haven't you got somewhere to be?" my father sighed, obviously emotionally spent because he was actually talking to his son for once.
"You did right this time. In case you were wondering," I reassured my father as I picked up my pace and jogged forward, but not before turning around and smiling carelessly. "I think Neji will be fine now," I said with a tilt of the head.
I ran towards my destination with a grin, not at all bothered by the invasion that was about to land at our doorstep, and although I didn't turn around and look back again I knew that Hizashi was trying with all his might to suppress a smile.
And that he was failing.
!
The feels guys… the feels. I did not think that this chapter would be so long! I was originally planning to put the invasion in here to but it just got too long. So you'll have to wait for the next installment to find that one out! I'd love to hear your theories on how you think that will play out!
Oh Naruto. You are just too precious! That little speech was a complete joy to write. I hope Nanami came across as realistically trying to get over her issues and her friends fitfully enough concerned with her. I hope the change and growth in different relationships is obvious but interesting. Also, a lot of you after my post in the previous chapter seemed to be in huge support of Nanami's character so thank you for your feedback and support. She's definitely appreciates it! Hopefully this chapter was up to scratch for her.
Please let me know what you think and thank you thank you thank you for your lovely words! I've actually booked a creative writing course for late September so that I can develop more as an author and write better and better chapters for you guys!
So, until next time…