Chapter 14

'Did you get a date for the follow-up appointment with the specialist?' Neal asked

'Yeah, day after tomorrow' Peter answered as he took a long, slow pull of his beer

Neal had surprised him at the end of the work day and had suggested they go out for a few drinks before dinner. Peter was happy to see his buddy and agreed readily; these days, it was easier to have a little space between himself and his wife.

'How are you coping with everything?' Neal asked, an honest question begging for an honest answer

'You know, trying to keep things in perspective' answered Peter, non-committal

Neal just looked at his buddy's body language noticing the strain on his face, the way he held himself more tense than usual. He waited a beat before talking.

'There are worst things in life than a stage II prostate cancer diagnosis' Peter added when Neal didn't say anything

'That's true' agreed Neal 'But none of those 'worst things' are happening to you right now – this is'

Peter smiled that 'you got me' smile he sometimes got when Neal could see right through him.

'Look, Neal. You guys have been through so much worse with Sara...' added Peter, letting his voice trail

'It's not a competition, Peter. Whatever you're going through is very real and very scary' answered Neal

Peter nodded in agreement.

'Mostly, I worry about El' he finally admitted 'She's not coping very well and I just want to put a brave face on things so she'll see there's nothing to be afraid of'

'That sounds like the Peter we know and love' admitted Neal with a naughty smile

'I'm just not sure what she wants from me' Peter admitted as he took another sip

'It's not about what El wants, Peter... it's just ... what do you want?'

Peter let out a sardonic laugh. 'Well, to be honest, I'd just like to ignore the whole thing and get on with my life'

Neal gave him a shoulder shrug – all very nice but not very practical.

'You know, when Sara got sick, she got all strong and silent on me... Apart from being terrified I was going to lose her, that was probably the hardest thing I had to deal with – her pushing me away' Neal confided

'It's not that I want to push El away ... exactly... I just don't want to fall into that... you know, 'woe is me' kinda mindset. I want to stay upbeat' said Peter

'Have you told her that?' Neal asked

Peter looked at Neal intensely. He hated how this guy never stopped digging until he got what he wanted.

'No...' he began

Neal knew when to shut up and he let the silence hang for a moment while Peter formulated the rest of his response to his question.

'What? You think I should tell her how I'm feeling?' he finally said

'That's up to you Peter. All I know is that you have to keep talking in a marriage' Neal said

'Oh, and the great Neal Caffrey is giving me advice on marriage?' Peter said, a tone of condescension in his voice

'Take it or leave it, buddy. I just know how I felt and I suspect that Elizabeth is just feeling shut out. But hey, you've been married twice as long as I have so I defer to you' Neal added as he sipped on his glass of wine

He left it at that – he'd pushed hard enough. After all those years of being in Peter Burke's presence, Neal knew how the man's mind worked. He would let his subconscious work things out and hope that some of Neal's words would make their way to his conscious mind.

WCWCWC

'Hi, sorry I'm late. I had trouble getting a cab' Neal said, breathless as he arrived in the waiting room at the pre-natal clinic.

'It's okay, they're running late' said Sara as she accepted the peck Neal placed on her cheek.

'I was afraid I was going to miss the show' Neal said, a wide smile on his face

Sara smiled back but something was not quite right and Neal knew it immediately.

'What? What's going on?' he asked

'Nothing. It's just... just a little spotting, that's all' Sara admitted as she averted his eyes

'Spotting? Why didn't you tell me?' Neal said, anxiety rising

'I just did, Neal. It only started this morning' she said giving him 'the' look

'Sara Caffrey!' the receptionist called out before Neal could react

They followed the woman to one of the examination rooms and Sara was instructed to change into a gown while Neal waited just outside the room. Stupid hospital rules – like he hadn't seen his wife naked millions of times before, he thought as he paced outside the room.

He was finally beckoned in and within minutes, the technician arrived rolling the ultrasound machine in behind her. Neal looked anxiously at his wife lying there on the cold examination table and took her hand in his as the technician began to get things organized.

'Is this your first ultrasound?' she asked of Sara

'No' Sara responded 'I've had several; two other babies'

'Alright, well, let's have a look at this little one' she responded, a kind smile on her face

'So this is week 12?' she confirmed

'Yeah, just over' Sara responded as the technician put some of that awful, cold gel on her abdomen

'I've had a bit of spotting, just this morning' she admitted

Neal had been biting his tongue, waiting for Sara to mention that fact and he looked carefully at the tech's face as she reacted to what Sara had just said.

'Well, that's not terribly unusual' she said, matter of factly as she began to run the probe gently over Sara's small baby bump

Neal's eyes were riveted on the screen. Sara had had ultrasounds for all her pregnancies and he never ceased to be amazed at what was revealed during the routine test.

'There! Looks like normal growth' said the technician as she began to take the required measurements

Neal looked on in wonder, squeezing Sara's hand as he took in the amazing spectacle

'There's the head, arms, feet, heart...' the technician pointed to the screen as she spoke

'How does everything look?' he finally asked, unable to hold his tongue any longer

'Well, the heart rate is a little sluggish but that could be because the baby's sleeping' she answered, not a satisfactory answer as far as Neal was concerned.

'I don't see anything unusual, per se, but considering the heart rate and the spotting, I would recommend you see your doctor as soon as possible, just to be sure' she recommended

'I'm seeing her the day after tomorrow' Sara said

'Well, then I suggest you rest in the meantime, just to be on the safe side and then you can have a full discussion with her when you meet up' advised the technician

Sara and Neal exchanged looks and she could see those worry lines appearing on his forehead.

'But try not to worry. This is all still within normal parameters' she added

'So, did you want to know the sex of the baby?' she asked

Neal's frown disappeared momentarily and Sara could see excitement in his eyes as he nodded enthusiastically.

'It's a little girl!' she said pointing to the genitals

Neal's small smile grew and Sara couldn't help but smile herself. He was going to be insufferable with another little girl – especially at his age.

The drive home was interminable as Neal spoke non-stop – alternating between his admonitions that Sara heed the technician's advice to rest, spouting names for the baby, and just plain gushing about having another little girl.

'What about Hannah?' he said excitedly, his eighth suggestion since they'd left the clinic

'Neal, we go through this every time. Wait until we get closer to the end. With both the kids, we didn't decide until they were born' Sara reminded him

'I know, but we have to be ready with a list, Sara' he said, his voice full of enthusiasm

'Tell you what, I totally trust you to come up with a short list and then we can talk about it, how's that' she finally conceded in order to bring an end to the discussion

Her head was swimming with all of Neal's suggestions and she couldn't think straight. Plus, her mind was more focussed on all the work that wouldn't be getting done at the office if she stayed home for a couple of days. She pushed the thought away; the most important thing was to keep this baby safe and if that meant sitting around the house for a few days, so be it.

Neal droned on...

'Or Emma – I've always liked that name...'

WCWCWC

Neal was actually humming as he worked in the kitchen preparing dinner. He'd dispatched Sara up to their bedroom to rest before dinner and he kept glancing at the picture of the ultrasound they'd been given at the end of their appointment. He'd propped the image up against the cookie jar so he could look at it while he worked and he was in the throes of the second verse of some Stevie Wonder song when the front door opened and he heard Mozzie's familiar voice resonate in the house.

'Neal!' he called out

'Mozzie, hi. Keep your voice down' Neal answered 'Sara's having a nap'

'Oops, sorry!' said Mozzie as he made his way to the kitchen, reaching around Neal to grab for an already opened bottle of Shiraz and a glass from the cupboard he was more than familiar with.

He grimaced as he looked at the label. 'You know Neal, since you've moved to the suburbs, your wine selection has really gone downhill'

'You know, you're welcome to bring a bottle with you next time you visit, Moz' answered Neal, tongue in cheek

'So, how did it go with Berlinger?' he added, taking a sip from his own glass of wine

'It went...' Mozzie answered, relief flooding him 'I hope I never have to cross paths with the guy again'

'So, the merchandise was up to snuff?' Neal asked, fishing for a compliment as to the excellent work he'd done

'He didn't crack a smile or anything but he was totally satisfied that he was holding the original in his hands' answered Mozzie. 'You know, Neal, it's just an awful waste of talent...'

Although Neal had been on the straight and narrow for over a dozen years, Mozzie never missed an opportunity to try to tempt his ex-partner back down the road to transgression despite the fact that the answer was always the same.

Neal interrupted. 'Don't even bother Mozzie' he said as he kept cutting up vegetables and placing them in a bowl for a salad

Mozzie spotted the ultrasound on the kitchen counter and picked it up, examining it.

'So, is this your latest progeny?' he asked with just the right amount of disdain for the traditional life Neal was living

'Meet my daughter, Moz' Neal responded proudly 'And don't spill any wine on that'

'Mmm' said Mozzie, trying his best to sound unimpressed. In truth, he loved Neal's kids and he was the best kind of uncle, a child himself, always up for fun where the kids were concerned.

'So, listen' Neal began, a little embarrassed 'I think you might have left something here the other night' he said, pointing to the brochure from the architectural firm which lay on the kitchen counter.

Mozzie looked briefly over at what Neal was pointing to and let out a scoff.

'That's not mine' he answered dismissively

The brief exchange which loosely translated meant: 'Thank you very much for the generous gift, Mozzie' and 'You're very welcome Neal' was quickly forgotten as Neal moved on to the next topic.

'So, can I interest you in staying for dinner?' he asked of his friend

'Thought you'd never ask' responded Mozzie, raising his glass

TBC