Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.

Lesson Fourteen

The Weight of Names

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ANBU Hawk scrutinized the sterilized private room in the ANBU underground. It had a whiteboard, several desks, and all the materials he could potentially need. The room was also completely sealed from the outside and only accessible by a hiraishin kunai. "It'll do."

The Hokage nodded. "If you think the Akimichi are behind these recent incidents I trust your instincts but we need proof before we can bring any claims to the council. This will be your base of operations for your investigation into the Akimichi clan."

"I understand," Hawk replied.

The Hokage crossed his arm and eyed his subordinate seriously. "This can't be an official operation. It has to be completely off books. If the Akimichi find out I'm investigating them it will be hell, and not just from the Akimichi. Every other clan in Konoha will feel threatened and betrayed, especially if they perceive the investigation to be unfounded. Trust no one. Assume that every institution in Konoha is compromised. You will need to do this operation alongside your other job without raising any suspicion. Quite frankly, this is probably one of the most delicate missions I've ever handed to anyone besides the Kiri Op years ago. You can't mess up."

"I won't. I promise."

"Since you're the leader of this thing, I'll leave it to you to choose the operatives you want on this investigation. But I don't need to tell you that the less people on this the better. And only people you can absolutely trust."

"Crow?"

Naruto waved his hand. "Yeah, I figured you'd say that. If you think you can…" Naruto flailed his hands around to find a word to accurately portray Sasuke. A fire – warm at times but had to make sure it didn't burn everything around it. Naruto sighed. "If you think you can contain him."

"Don't know if that's possible," Hawk muttered and then asked, "ANBU Crane?"

Naruto frowned and ran the logistics in his head. "I prefer him in infiltration but I won't send him out unless I really need him. Crane can be on this in the meantime."

"For right now I'm going to keep it to a three-man team. I'll let you know if I need anything else."

Naruto nodded. "Just be careful and don't work yourself to death. I know you."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah." ANBU Hawk nodded, hardly listening. He waved off the Hokage and pulled up his sleeves. "I've got work to do."

Two days later, both ANBU Crane and ANBU Crow shared exasperated stares. This certainly explained why Sasuke hasn't seen Tomu in the past two days. The vast amount of work Tomu had already done for the operation could be seen all throughout the room.

ANBU Hawk pointed to one board filled with pictures of the entire Akimichi clan. "This board shows the medical data I've gotten from Sakura. I've sorted it by familial relations so its organized into a family tree. It gets a little complicated with divorces and bastards but there are sticky notes beside the exceptions."

Hawk pointed to another board on the far right. "And this is where I'm attempting to sort by influence and power, who takes orders from who, etc. Unlike other clans, there are two heads in the Akimichi clan – the ninja head and the business head."

A picture of Chouji was at the top of the pyramid as the ninja head. A picture of an elder Akimichi woman was at the top of the pyramid as the business head. There were a few pictures and names filled out on the bottom rung, but almost none in the middle.

"Have you eaten?" Crane asked.

"What?"

Crane turned to Sasuke. "Dumplings?"

Sasuke nodded his consent. Crane disappeared with the hiraishin kunai soon after. Hawk huffed and crossed him arms. Sasuke glared. "You said you were leaving on a mission."

It was the only reason Sasuke hadn't been looking for him the past two days.

"I am on a mission. I just had to get all of this straightened out before I could bring you in on it," Hawk said annoyed, but suddenly mellowed when Crane reappeared with takeout. Hawk gave in, stuffed a dumpling in his mouth and then continued to explain his boards. "Most of the information on this board I only know from experience and the contacts I have on the streets. They rarely show themselves and typically delegate their jobs to underlings. Let me introduce Chijori and Taisuke Akimichi, overseer of Konoha's drug dens. Yasuyuki and Rikya Akimichi, overseers of Konoha's Red Lights District. Tsukada and Shintaro Akimichi, overseers of their protection racketeering business. Iwao and Tessai Akimichi, overseers of their smuggling operations of both products and persons. Chiro, Taisho, and Akio Akimichi, overseers of their legitimate businesses which include about forty percent of all privately owned businesses in Konoha."

"Do those statistics include the privately owned businesses of the other clans?" Sasuke asked. The Yamanaka had their flower shop. The Nara had their herbs and traditional medicines. The Inuzuka has their veterinarian business. Clans often specialized in certain sectors of Konoha.

Hawk nodded. "Clans own about seventy percent of all privately owned businesses in Konoha."

And one clan owned forty percent of that chunk. That was insane. "They own just about half of Konoha," Sasuke said in realization. The more he learned about the Akimichi, the more unsettled he became. "I haven't been in Konoha for a while but I was acquainted with Chouji as a genin. Quite frankly, he doesn't seem the kind of guy to be capable of all this."

"Honestly, I'm not sure that Chouji is involved. He is the ninja head, which is completely different from our traditional idea of a Clan Head. Chouji's duties involve deciding which kids go to the academy, making sure the clan gets ninja contracts, attending council meetings, and generally making sure everything on the ninja end is running smoothly. He actually has no say in the business side of things. That's just how the Akimichi do things. If I'm to guess, whomever is targeting Naruto is on the business side. Maybe it's," Hawk pointed to his board, "whomever these guys are answering to, or who their boss answers to, or even the business head. That's what we need to figure out."

"Alright, so what are we going to do?" Sasuke asked.

"Right now we're kind of stabbing in the dark but since the mist ninja who tried to assassinate the Hokage was given drugs I think we should investigate Chijori and Taisuke first. We'll shadow them for a week and see if we can find anything."

"And when you saw 'we' you mean me?" Crane clarified. "It's too dangerous for you or Crow to do it. I can watch them from a distance but there is only one of me. To shadow all of these people effectively will take time."

Sasuke nodded in an agreement. "While Crane is watching people, we still should be coming at this from another angle."

"Naruto gave us access to some pretty advanced recording equipment. Ideally, I'd like to bug their compound."

"Getting inside another clan's compound is easier said than done," ANBU Crane said. "But I like the idea. We're on the outside right now. We need to get on the inside."

"While I'm shadowing, you two could determine an Akimichi to trust and bring him in on the operation," Crane suggested.

"I don't trust any of them," Hawk said frankly. "Maybe they have nothing to do with the conspiracy but no clan ninja would betray another member of their clan."

"Itachi did," Crow said nonchalantly. Crow looked over at the Hyuuga. "Hinata did. We just have to find the right person. Sometimes your sense of loyalty to Konoha outweighs your loyalty to the clan."

"In order to do that we need to get close and get to know the members of the Akimichi clan on more than just pieces of paper." Crane said and insisted once again, "We need to get on the inside. It will widen the options available to us. We'll be able to bug their compound and determine which one of them might be worth trusting."

Hawk shoved another dumpling in his mouth and chewed it for several seconds before he said slowly, "I know that the Akimichi compound usually extends an invitation to the significant other of a clan member if it is a serious relationship."

As a civilian, Tomu had grown up with stories from idealist young women who romanticized the Akimichi as princes come to sweep them off their feet into a life of wealth and opulence.

Crane shrugged. "I've had ero-ninja training. Pull everyone that fits the profile we need."

"But you're supposed to be shadowing the Akimichi."

"Shadowing them is like throwing a kunai in the dark. It's more important we establish ourselves on the inside," Crane argued.

"It's too risky," Hawk countered. "There aren't many but there are a few skilled sensors in the Akimichi clan and every compound had defenses for infiltration. They might be able to sense a henge. Not only that but wearing any kind of henge into any clan compound is asking for trouble."

"What about one of the Hokage's transformation seals?"

"Still requires chakra and if they so happen to catch that it'll be a direct link to Naruto. That option is extremely risky. To make it work, you'll have to do it as Hohei Hyuuga and a Hyuuga doesn't date an Akimichi."

"That would be messy," Crane begrudgingly agreed. Then he gave Crow a once-over. Hawk immediately saw where Crane's thoughts were headed.

"We are so fucked," Hawk said. "I can't do it because of my connection to the Uzumaki clan. Our only option is the one guy who couldn't seduce someone if his life depended on it."

Crow simply gave a 'Hn,' not completely in disagreement with Tomu.

"With the brown eyes and maybe dyed hair, no one would know who he is. We could create an entire cover for him without ever using a henge," Crane seemed to be arguing the pros and cons to himself aloud. "And he is hot. If he had stayed in Konoha all those years ago and joined ANBU, they'd probably have placed him in the ero division anyways."

It was an odd fact to hear – that besides the sharingan, Konoha would have exploited his ability to gather a mass of fangirls without ever lifting a single finger. Crow wasn't still uncertain of the idea. As evidence from his brief career as a prostitute, he could probably force himself to have sex just fine. But to enter into a committed relationship enough for the family to ask him to dinner? He could try, but Sasuke had his doubts that he'd be successful.

Sasuke shrugged his shoulders. "I'll do it."

"Are you sure?" Hawk asked.

Sasuke gave a grunt of consent.

"All right. But for right now, Crane will begin shadowing the Akimichi and I'll start drafting a list of potential Akimichi that fit the profile we need. You're both dismissed."

"Let's talk about sex," Dr. Yamanaka suggested.

Sasuke groaned as he sunk into the cushions of the couch. Sometimes they talked about random topics if there wasn't a specific issue bothering him and he suddenly wished he had something else to talk about today.

"Have you had sex recently?" The Doctor inquired.

Sasuke pouted and shook his head.

"Why not?"

"Maybe because I'd have to be a normal fucking person for that." Dr. Yamanaka raised a judgmental eyebrow, practically returning one of Sasuke's more favored expressions. Sasuke admitted with a mumble, "I'm not good at it."

"What do you mean?"

Sasuke's gaze landed on the bulbous vase in the corner of the room as he thought about his words. "Sex for me has always been at two different extremes – either it was thrown at me or taken. I don't know how to get to that middle."

"When is the last time you've had sex?"

Sasuke stared at the doctor sourly. "When Orochimaru was in Konoha. It was not one of my best moments. He put me in a dark place and I… took."

"Why?" the Doctor asked. "You are an incredibly attractive man, Uchiha Sasuke. Why would you feel the need to take when there are people who would give willingly?"

"Because I need to be in control," Sasuke answered. "It's when I'm not in control that I'm the one being manipulated."

"Sasuke," the Doctor said gently. "Not everyone is out to get or hurt you. Most just genuinely want to fuck you." The Doctor attempted to find a way to relate his words so Sasuke could understand.

"You had a genin team?"

Sasuke nodded. "Team Seven."

"Relationships are as complicated as the dynamics of a ninja team. There are too many factors and too many things going on to try and control every single person on the team. You'd only get yourself killed. At some point you have to recognize that the only person you have control over is yourself. Relationships are the same. The only person you have control over in a relationship is yourself and if you try to control the other person, you might as well be dead."

The Doctor leaned into Sasuke's unconvinced expression. "In this village, you certainly don't have to trust who you're sleeping with but getting in bed is a moment of vulnerability. There's a certain amount of control you need to relinquish if you want to make it that far. You'd be surprised why ninja would want to get in bed at all, but in the end we're human. Ninja still feel, they still get lonely, and insecure, and crave intimacy no matter how much the village fools itself into believing it can craft tools out of people."

Sasuke grumbled.

"How about some homework?" The Doctor asked.

"I'm not going to like this am I?"

"Go out with your cousin to a bar, pick someone up, and get laid."

Logically, Sasuke had to admit it would be good practice for the Akimichi mission and maybe taking small steps would be a good idea. Emotionally, Sasuke felt scared out of his fucking mind.

"What's wrong?"

"I'm not good at this sort of stuff."

The Doctor smile with amusement. "And what does one do when they're not good at something? They practice."

Sasuke knew Tomu well enough by now to know he needed to brace himself when he told Tomu, "My Doctor says I need to get laid."

Tomu rang out with a laughter that crippled him to his knees. "Hold on, I need you to say that again while I activate my sharingan."

Sasuke kicked him in the shin and continued over Tomu's shaking mass to his closet. He needed to figure out what he was going to wear. He didn't have a lot of clothing. He certainly didn't have anything nice to go out in. There was a time when Sasuke was smug as fuck about his looks, always crafting his hair into just the right places, but that was before Orochimaru had gotten his hands all over him. Nothing on him had seemed beautiful after that.

"I can't do this."

"Huh? What's wrong?" Tomu had picked himself up, intent on returning the kick, but stopped at the crestfallen look on Sasuke's face.

Sasuke couldn't explain the sudden panic stabbing a lightning jutsu over his skin. What if they could feel Orochimaru on him, clinging to his skin like the roots of a cursed seal? What if they could see the betrayals and mistakes he couldn't wipe away that left him dirty and unclean? What if he lost his temper? Why would anyone want him?!

Naruto certainly didn't.

Sasuke hadn't heard when Tomu hiraishined out of the room. He hadn't heard when Tomu returned and brought the only help that could pull Sasuke out of this quagmire.

"Get up Sasuke," Sakura demanded. She wrapped two arms underneath his armpits and lifted him from the ground with ease. "We're going shopping."

Sasuke allowed Sakura to push him all over Konoha. He gave her control because he trusted her. How could he trust some random person off the street? He didn't know them. What if it was Orochimaru?

WHAT IF IT WAS OROCHIMARU?!

"Sasuke, you're having a panic attack." Sakura crouched down and grabbed Sasuke's hands. She had grown alarmed when Sasuke took too long in the dressing room, so she barged in and found her former teammate huddled in the corner with a pair of slacks covering his head. "Let's count to ten."

"Orochimaru," Sasuke finally said. The knot his throat had finally began to ease, until he said that name and it began to start all over again.

"I won't let you go home with Orochimaru," Sakura promised. "When Orochimaru body jumps, he takes loners and social outcasts because no one would notice any strange behavior. Jumping into someone's body doesn't mean he can impersonate them. I know a lot of people in Konoha. I'll make sure you're fine. It'll be okay."

Sasuke gave a slow nod and calmed down against Sakura's shoulder. Sakura would be there. He trusted her. She'll take care of him.

Sasuke slowly followed her out the dressing room. Sakura pointed to a bench. Sasuke sat obediently and then watched her terrorize the store. She picked up an armful of clothes that were his size, of which she had discovered earlier when she had hooked a finger into his pants and flipped the hem. Sasuke watched the price of the clothes ring up with a painful hitch. Sakura bought them all with ease.

"Maybe I can start tonight with my undercover persona," Sasuke suggested. It would be easier if he was not himself. It was safer for all parties involved to simply be someone else for the night.

"No, you need to get laid," Sakura reprimanded. "It'll be fine Sasuke."

Sasuke paused. "Thank you."

Sakura glanced up at him with a smile. "You're welcome."

Sakura let him pick what he wanted to wear out of the piles of clothes she had bought for him (which included pajamas, casual outfits, and workout clothes). Sakura hadn't missed the fact Sasuke often wore some of Tomu's clothes. Sasuke was always aware of how much of a financial burden he was. His time in ANBU was a sentence and he didn't get paid for it. Also, Tomu didn't seem to care.

It took a while to go through all of the clothes Sakura had bought until Sasuke finally settled on an expensive blue button-down that hugged his body like a jealous girlfriend. The pants were black slacks that were tight at the hips and accentuated his behind. (All the pants Sakura bought in some form or another emphasized his ass). He did like the black dress shoes. Those were growing on him.

"A lot more formal than what I was aiming for," Sakura said as she moved over to Sasuke. She unbuttoned the top two buttons and rolled up the long sleeves to his elbows.

"I don't know if this is going to work," Tomu said uncertainly, "Because he looks like fucking Sasuke Uchiha."

"He has brown eyes," Sakura said, and then criticized, "Maybe you shouldn't have shaved. At least his hair is longer." Sakura ran a hand through Sasuke's hair to muss it up a bit, which made one piece stick up in its signature duck butt pose. "Oh kami."

Sakura literally shoved Sasuke back into the bathroom. She threw his hair back into a messy bun and left the front fringe of Sasuke's hair to frame his face. Sakura stepped back and looked at her handiwork. "Damn, Sasuke. Now go in there and sit down, I still need to get dressed."

Sasuke had to admit he kind of liked the way the up-do looked in the mirror. It was similar to the hairstyle the samurai wore in Iron country.

"It's not fair. How come I didn't inherit the good looks of the family?" Tomu moaned from where he was laying upside down on the bed.

"You were probably bred with a monkey."

Tomu hit Sasuke playfully in the shoulder when Sasuke fell upside down next to him. The rapport calmed Sasuke's nerves.

As they walked toward the long street of bars, they discussed what Sasuke's cover story should be. Sakura directed them to one of the bars best known for their strong drinks and hook-up culture. It was already packed when they entered and the heat of bodies were stifling. Thankfully, Sasuke wasn't bothered by the heat but the sheer congestion of people that were brushing past him at every turn had his hackles raised.

Sakura walked right up to the bartender, had a few words, and in seconds the bartender had sent a bouncer over to clear out a table for them. The bouncer attempted to displace a few chuunin, and when the chuunin attempted to fight back, Sakura walked over, cracked her knuckles and said sweetly, "Boys, you're in my table."

They begrudgingly left.

Sakura usually wouldn't go through all the trouble but they needed a safe space for Sasuke to return to if he got too overwhelmed. Tomu came over with a few beers.

"They're definitely checking you out," Sakura noted as she glanced across the room.

Indeed, the moment she said that, a kunoichi parted from her group of friends and came up to the table. She walked over as if she was used to always blazing the way for others. The purple fangs tattooed under her eyes marked her as an Inuzuka.

"Haruno-san," the kunoichi bowed respectfully. "What are you doing at bar like this? Your husband is still out of town?"

Sakura chuckled. "He's still in the capital. He had a three-month contract there on business. Tonight I'm playing wingwoman."

"Ah," the kunoichi smiled fully and turned back to wink back at her group of friends. The kunoichi glanced at Tomu. "You're the Uzumaki-Uchiha," she said, amused. Then she looked at Sasuke. "I don't know you."

"He just got back from a long-term mission. He's been out of Konoha for quite some time."

The kunoichi introduced herself, "Akita Inuzuka."

"Sasuke," he replied in turned. For a moment, the kunoichi gave him a dumbfounded look, glanced at Sakura, and then back at him.

Sasuke glared at Akita, daring her to challenge him on it. Sakura gave a deep sigh. "Yeah, I believe he's aware that he shares a name with one of Konoha's most psychotic murderous missing-nins. No point changing his name for that bastard."

Sometimes the truth was the best cover. No one was expecting it.

Akita chuckled, almost apologetically. "Let me buy you a drink."

"I prefer dick," Sasuke outright said. Sakura slapped herself in the face. Tomu coughed out a sudden laugh.

Akita threw back her head with a wild guffaw. "I can still buy you a drink. Let me invite my friends over. You might like one of them."

"Sure, we've got room," Sakura agreed. Akita went to go get her friends. Sakura leaned forward toward Sasuke. "In a group the female Inuzuka always leads. The Nara she has with her works in Intelligence cataloging data. They were on the same genin team. She wouldn't let you near him if she didn't like what she sniffed out. And I'm his doctor so I know he's clean."

Akita had four friends. She did very quick introductions and not so subtly shoved the Nara to sit next to Sasuke. There was a non-clan kunoichi that sat beside Tomu and a younger Inuzuka kunoichi who sat across from Tomu. There was a male Momochi but he looked as if he didn't want to be there and sent baleful glares toward Akita.

"Nara Seo," The Nara introduced himself, blushing.

Sasuke could at least relax at the thought that Orochimaru would have a harder time stealing the body of a clan ninja. He glanced over at Sakura who scratched behind her ear, a signal to tell Sasuke that she was certain this Nara wasn't Orochimaru, especially not with a protective Inuzuka in the group.

"Sasuke," He introduced himself.

The Nara didn't flinch. Akita probably forewarned them. Seo casually asked, "how come I haven't seen you around?"

"Mission," Sasuke said and took a drink of his beer. Conversation suddenly stalled between. For the life of him, Sasuke couldn't think of what else to say. Sasuke tried to remember what he used do as a genin to enchant fangirls to fall at his feet. But- nothing. He did nothing.

And it had been embarrassingly easy with Naruto. All he has to do was insult the guy and conversation would spring back to life.

"Can we see the sharingan?" Sasuke whipped his head around when the younger Inuzuka asked a question of Tomu. "It's not like it's a secret anymore."

Tomu huffed back and activated his sharingan. The moment his eyes turned red, it got the attention of everyone in the bar. More than a few people began to wander over curious, quite a few with a predatory glint in their eyes.

Akita slapped her hands against the table and growled out threateningly, "Back the fuck up."

Sasuke slammed he heel of his foot down on Tomu's shoe. Tomu jerked up and met the words in Sasuke's glare, 'Really? Flashing the sharingan in a bar?'

Tomu crossed his arms with a shrug, 'What's the big deal?'

Sasuke did this weird wiggle of an expression that twisted his eyebrows, 'THE FUCK, Tomu! It's not a toy. We are going to have a talk about this later.'

Tomu let out an exasperated huff. 'Fine, I'll try not to do anything but kill people with them.' Grumpily, Tomu turned back toward the kunoichi.

The Nara didn't miss the unspoken conversation between the two men. "Are you two family?"

"Distantly," Sasuke gruffed out. He directed his glare at his bottle of beer. He couldn't even imagine what his father would have done to him if he had heard Sasuke was in the clubs flashing the sharingan to pick up girls.

His brooding silence had gone on so long that Sakura kicked him in the shin. She mouthed with her lips, 'make conversation.'

"So…" Sasuke said slowly after finally emptying his beer in retribution. "What do you do?"

"I work in Intelligence," the Nara replied as he leaned into Sasuke. "It's not really interesting. All I do is catalog data. I used to be an active ninja but I retired after the war. I damaged my lungs pretty bad. But it's not as if I'm helpless." Seo shot Akita a look.

Suddenly Tomu shifted and pressed in closer to Sasuke's arm. Sasuke looked over and found one of the kunoichi had moved a hand in an attempt to touch Tomu's thigh.

Then it hit him. And Sasuke felt like an ass. He couldn't believe that he had been caught up in his own problems that he didn't see how this would affect Tomu. Sasuke leaned over and whispered in Tomu's ear, "You want to go?"

Tomu gave him a weak smile. "I'll be fine. Don't worry about me."

Sasuke turned back to the Nara who had waited on him patiently. "Is everything okay?" Seo asked.

Sasuke growled out, "Your friends are making him uncomfortable. He just lost his wife."

Seo's eyes widened and Akita turned, alarmed, from her conversation with Sakura. She stretched across the table and whispered to the two kunoichi. One of them gasped, "We forgot that your wife had been killed by… Orochimaru."

That name sent an unseen wave of tension through the entire bar.

Tomu sunk down into the cushions and opened another beer with a pout. The kunoichi bowed apologetically and walked out toward the dance floor. Sasuke felt relieved when Tomu struck up an odd conversation about card games with the Momochi.

"What's your favorite music?" Seo asked in a desperate attempt to strike up conversation.

"Traditional," Sasuke answered, and then found himself stuck in the same dilemma that he had before. What does he say now?

Seo valiantly forged onward. "I like rock but I have a soft spot for one or two of KB's songs. Until Killer Bee, you really didn't hear anyone talk so candidly on what it's really like to be a ninja. They even play his songs in the capital. Civilians love him."

The hairs on the back of Sasuke's neck noted Tomu's sly glance, knowing Tomu wanted to jump into the conversation but also respecting Sasuke's supposed interest in the Nara.

Suddenly the start of a familiar beat had everyone out of their chairs. Seo's green eyes lit up and asked, "Do you want to dance?"

Sasuke looked at him in horror. That sounded like a terrible idea. "I don't dance."

"Yes, you do." Sakura corrected him and literally shoved him out the chair with so much force, Sasuke was launched out the seat and knocked someone over.

Seo helped him to his feet with an awkward shuffle. "Haruno-san can be even scarier than an Inuzuka."

Sasuke snorted at that.

Got back from a mission today high and alive and just got paid.

On the dance floor, the lyrics of the song assaulted his ears. The congestion of sweaty bodies seemed to suck in the air he needed to breath. Sasuke tensed, prepared for a fight, when the Nara placed a hand on his arm.

Make this B-class fade away let's blow this money all in one day.

Everyone threw fingers up in the air counting:

One bar, two bar, three bar, four. Gamble Tsunade out of her drawers.

It felt like an earthquake the way the floor was shaking underneath him. Everyone around him were jumping in the air and shouting like idiots.

Fuck a Yamanaka, huff a Nara for some weed, fine dining with the Akimichi, then get drunk like Rock Lee!

Sasuke didn't want to be here. He hated this. He just wanted to fuck. Why did everything in between have to be so tedious?

Seo noticed Sasuke's discomfort. Sasuke raised an inquisitive eyebrow when Seo began a jutsu. Then shadows were literally shoving people out of their way as Seo led Sasuke to a back exit. Sasuke fell into the open air and breathed it in greedily.

Seo picked at the hem of his sleeve as he watched Sasuke. "That didn't go very well did it?"

Sasuke looked at the Nara. It was easier to see him in the light of the street lamps. He had a plain face and sharp eyes like most of his clan. He held himself both self-consciously and concerned. "Look, I can tell you don't really like me. But for what it's worth, you're like the craziest sexiest thing I have ever seen. And Haruno-san vouches for you so you can't be that bad of a guy. I just, I know I'm out of your league."

"You'd have sex with me?" Sasuke asked, just getting straight to the point. He's seen enough of this Nara to know that the chuunin-level ninja didn't have a chance of killing him even if he wanted to. Perhaps he didn't trust the man fully but Sasuke didn't sense anything outright threatening.

"Yeah?"

"Let's go." Sasuke grabbed Seo by the hand and tugged him out of the alleyway. Though, once he got to the street he wasn't sure where to go. Did he want this guy he barely even knew in his apartment? Seo laughed and pulled Sasuke toward the closest motel.

"Are these things clean?" Sasuke asked with a scrunch of the nose.

"Probably not." Seo smiled, in brighter spirits now knowing the other guy was actually interested.

They walked up two flight of stairs to their assigned room because evidently the motel was packed. Seo closed the door while Sasuke surveyed the room. There were condoms and sex toys in separate baskets on the nightstand. It was clean enough.

Sasuke was never good with words. Perhaps that was ultimately his problem. But for right now, that didn't matter as Sasuke pulled the Nara forward to roll Seo's shirt up and over his arms. Seo helped Sasuke with the buttons of his shirt. Sasuke fell back into the bed to tug off his pants.

Then Sasuke blinked his eyes open and the Nara was crouched over him. Seo dipped in slowly, showing his intentions, and Sasuke tilted his head to accept the offered kiss. The Nara tasted of grass, fresh air, and ripe blueberries.

"Top or bottom?" Sasuke asked, unsure if he wanted to bottom with a stranger.

Seo cursed. These were questions that should have been asked at the bar, if there had been more words between them. For some people it could be a deal breaker. "I'm so sorry, I know that Naras are generally tops but with my lungs it's better for me if I bottom."

"That's fine," Sasuke said in relief. Then he paused and couldn't help but ask, "Naras are tops?"

Seo raised an eyebrow and found it amusing that he had finally found a conversation that interested his partner. "How long have you been away from Konoha?"

"A long time." Sasuke hadn't meant that answer to sound so weary but it was true nevertheless.

Seo demonstrated with a quick hand seal. Shadows-like ropes came and latched loosely onto one of Sasuke's arms and tied it to the bedpost. The Nara dismissed them in seconds.

"Ah," Sasuke said in understanding. "No, I wouldn't like that."

Sasuke unbuckled Seo's belt. Seo lifted his hips and shivered when Sasuke dragged his hands over his ass while pulling off his boxers. "What's your number?"

"Huh?"

Seo just looked at Sasuke in awe. "You know, the number. People generally have a list of the clans they've fucked. As the saying goes, you'll never know Konoha until you've fucked them all."

"One," Sasuke said thoughtfully, "Guess I can add Nara to my list."

"I don't really count," Seo lamented. "Or believe me, I'd have you tied up to this bed already."

Sasuke scoffed, then twisted toward the nightstand. Seo was flipped onto his back and handcuffs clicked around his wrist and locked him to the bed. Seo looked up at the metal brace around his wrists and gave a shy approving nod.

After a moment, Sasuke asked, "Have you ever fucked a Uchiha?"

Seo drew back at the unexpected question. "I was a kid when they all died. My older brother did once, said they were fucking intense. Supposed to have been all stiffs in public but in private… high emotions, high strung, and hot sex."

"Hn," Sasuke said the moment before he took the Nara's dick in his mouth. The chains of the handcuffs rattled above his head. Sasuke still had a certain measure of control but the Nara wasn't resisting him. Seo wanted him. It was a heady adrenaline rush through Sasuke's system. Sasuke tumbled his tongue through all the tricks he knew and ebbed away when Nara came close.

The handcuffs rattled. "Please," the Nara begged through a gasp, "Fuck, please."

Sasuke smirked, then summoned a fire jutsu in his lungs. His mouth went hot and Nara came in an instant. Sasuke sucked him through his orgasm and lifted up to watch the Nara's heavy breathing.

"Are you alright?"

"Yeah, I just, dude, you can do that," the Nara laughed.

"I certainly wouldn't recommend an amateur at fire jutsu to try it," Sasuke said and swallowed back the clump of ash and cum in his throat. Sasuke reached over for the bottle of lube and took his time opening the Nara. He enjoyed watching the way Seo responded to him, writhing when he added two fingers, moaning when he added three. Sasuke was unbelievably hard just listening to cries of the Nara's want.

Sasuke noticed the blood trailing down Seo's arm. "Do you want me to take off the handcuffs for this part?"

"Fuck no," Seo said as he lifted his legs forward to his chest. In that moment it struck Sasuke how helpless the Nara was – both hands handcuffed to the bed, ass in the air open and ready, naked, and no weapons readily available. No one has given him this amount of trust in a long time.

Sasuke reached for the headboard and found himself determined to make sure the Nara enjoyed this. He lined his hard and leaking dick toward the too open Nara, thrust forward, and slipped into the male with sharp ease.

Sasuke gave shallow strokes at first, looking desperately around for the prostate. He knew he found it when the handcuffs rattled and Seo arched off the bed. Then Sasuke readjusted, pressed his weight further against the Nara until he had a deeper angle.

"Kami!" The Nara cried out when Sasuke jack-hammered forward and hit the prostate with the ease of target practice. Sasuke gathered all his strength and stamina to piston hard and fast into the Nara. Sasuke had the man completely helpless, had left Seo unable to do much but to bear the onslaught.

A splatter of cum streaked across Sasuke's chest. Sasuke labored on like there was a race he needed to win and he was so close to the finish. The tension coiled in his gut. It was as if a fireball jutsu had burst out of him when he finally came.

Sasuke dropped his head into one of the pillows, burnt out.

"Wow," the Nara said after a moment when he gingerly stretched out his legs. "That was intense."

It was just the right balance of pain and pleasure to make it memorable.

Languidly, Sasuke reached up to free the Nara from the handcuffs. Seo's arms were bloody but the Nara didn't seem to mind.

"I paid for two hours. We still have time for a shower and to clean up."

Sasuke grunted from the pillow. He felt when Seo moved from the bed and then decided it was best to stay where he was. Seo's legs fell like rubber. "Yeah, let's just stay here."

After a moment, when Sasuke gathered his thoughts together, he asked, "How much was the room?"

"Don't worry about it."

Sasuke would have kept arguing about it but it was hard to find his pride in the blissful haze of post-orgasm.

Then Seo beside him tensed, which was hard not to notice when everything had been so relaxed and weightless before. Nara said slowly, with a tread of fear in his voice that began setting off alarm bells. "You know, with your hair around your face and your eyes closed like that you kind of look like Uchiha Sasuke."

"Hn."

"I'm sort of starting to freak out here and I get it if this is shit I'm not supposed know about but please tell me this is Kage sanctioned."

"And if it isn't?"

"Oh shit," Seo literally fell back out of the bed. Suddenly the Nara was wheezing and Sasuke picked himself up in concern. Maybe that was a bad joke. But post orgasm he couldn't have cared less. Sasuke saw the Nara fumbling in his pants pocket. Sasuke moved forward but it only seemed to freak the Nara out more as he wrenched free his inhaler and breathed in the medicine.

"Please don't kill me," Seo managed the words when he could finally breathe.

It was time for Sasuke to leave. He couldn't stand the terror he saw in the man's eyes. "I'm…" Sasuke searched for anything that could make this better. "I'm sorry."

Sasuke stuffed on his pants, threw the shirt over his cum splattered chest and left. He dropped a bundle of the money Sakura had given him to spend on the counter. He'd rather be in Sakura's debt. Then Sasuke hunched his shoulders and walked to the apartment.

His expression dropped at the sight of Sakura dragging Tomu out of the bathroom, vaguely smelling of vomit. Sakura swiveled her eyes toward Sasuke in excitement, then dropped Tomu onto the couch. She waggled her eyebrows. "How did it go?"

"What is wrong with you?" Sasuke snapped angrily. "I've ignored you, I've hated you, I've tried to kill you! Why are you still here? Why aren't you fucking afraid of me!"

Sakura faced Sasuke with two hands on her hips. She stepped forward, unafraid, and couldn't care less if Sasuke might lash out. Sasuke gave a heartbreaking whine when Sakura wrapped her arms around him and pulled him into a hug. She asked in a softer voice, "What happened?"

"Me," Sasuke whispered miserably.

The hurt rushed out of him and left Sasuke hollow in her arms.

"I take it didn't go so well?" Dr. Yamanaka asked after Sakura had called and literally demanded that the doctor find time in his schedule to see Sasuke today.

Sasuke gave him a flat look that said all the words he needed.

"What happened?"

"I fucked someone. They figured out I was Sasuke Uchiha. They freaked out. Eventually, Sakura had to tell Naruto," and wasn't that fucking embarrassing, "they had a Yamanaka erase his memory and it never fucking happened."

Sasuke was fairly sure he was never going to have sex again.

"Sounds like a victory to me."

"What kind of victory was that? The guy was terrified of me. I know I've done things but I don't just randomly hurt people…" Sasuke frowned. "I'm not Orochimaru!"

"How was it up until the point he figured out who you were?"

Sasuke frowned, and then mumbled, "It was good."

"It proves you can do it. You can find that neutral ground. You gave up some control. It was good. Maybe next time, you shouldn't go by your real name."

"But I want them moaning my name."

The Doctor was silent for a while and then looked at Sasuke. "The fact of the matter is, Sasuke, is that no matter where you go in this entire world people are terrified of your name."

Sasuke sat in a dark silence.

No matter how much he regretted his mistakes, his name would always be tainted. And it had been him to taint the Uchiha name. Whenever someone brought up the clan, they would immediately remember Sasuke Uchiha. Infamy was the one thing where he had apparently surpassed Itachi. They wouldn't remember that his uncle owned a forge, or that his mom used to love making desserts, or that his grandma collected cat figurines. They wouldn't remember that the Uchiha loved intensely.

They would remember his name. Sasuke Uchiha. Missing-nin, psychotic, murderer, killed of Kages, Orochimaru's student.

It all felt so overwhelming – how he had irrevocably fucked up.

And there was no time-reverse jutsu or all the apologies in the world that could fix everything he had ever broken.

"Do you want to be someone else?" The Doctor asked. "If you could run away, change your name, and go to a place where no one knows who you are, would you? If you could, would you start over?"

"No." Sasuke's answer was immediate. "My name is all that's left."

The Uchiha of his surname was all that was left of the clan. He couldn't start over. Sasuke imagined that on that path he'd never stop hating himself, but at least on this one, even though it was harder, there was the slim chance he might one day forgive himself.

ANBU wore a mask. They gave up their names for anonymity in service to Konoha. But he refused to give Konoha his name. Tomu turned into Hawk. Hohei turned into Crane. But Sasuke couldn't be anything other than Sasuke Uchiha.

He refuses to surrender his name to Konoha, to those who fear him, or to his own doubts and insecurities. Sasuke Uchiha had to live in the world that he had broken.

"What the fuck is this?" Sasuke said when he saw the flashing neon lights for, 'The Yellow Flash Karaoke Bar.' Sasuke stared back at the address Sakura had given him to make sure this was the right place.

"Sasuke, you're right on time." Sasuke heard the clacking of Sakura's heels before she wrapped an arm around him and pulled him through the front door. She turned corners with the ease of one who frequented this place often and leaned forward onto the desk counter. "The usual."

"Right this way."

Sasuke and Sakura were showed to a dark room where Naruto was waiting. Naruto was wearing a henge but Sasuke knew the way Naruto lounged on a couch. Sasuke was rather surprised to find him there. Sasuke glared at Sakura with a suspicious look.

When the door closed, Naruto dismissed his henged. "Now that the Cloud handover is finished, I finally have the time to pour all my attention toward Orochimaru. It's about time we made a plan."

Sasuke had been feeling listless ever since the disaster three days ago, but talking about killing Orochimaru immediately snapped him to attention. Sasuke criticized, "We're going to talk about Orochimaru here?"

"Do you think Orochimaru would ever come to a karaoke bar?"

"Hn," Sasuke grunted begrudgingly as Naruto moved a bucket of ice and the karaoke menu to spread out Orochimaru's files onto the table. Orochimaru might be crafty enough to break into any one of the rooms in the ANBU underground but would never think of looking in a karaoke bar. "Is there a reason why this place is named after your father?"

"One of the Cloud ninja wanted to open up a karaoke bar like they have in Kumo and I decided to help him with it. Gave him the start-up money. He let me choose the name."

"I'm surprised it wasn't ramen inspired."

"I was seriously considering it."

"The karaoke bar was my idea," Sakura said smugly as she sat down. There was a soft smile on her face as she glanced between the two of them. Sasuke wasn't convinced she didn't have an ulterior motive here.

"Alright, Orochimaru," Naruto said to draw their attention. "My primary concern is the jutsu he uses to steal bodies. We need something to defend against it."

"Orochimaru chooses social outcasts for a reason. He can't copy the original bodies' memories. As long as we know the person well enough, he shouldn't be able to get past detection. And because of our positions in Konoha, we practically know just about everyone. His options are limited if he doesn't want to be detected."

"The problem is when he does want to be detected," Sasuke said. "Then he'll just take any body he pleases, including yours. Since he hasn't done that yet I'm assuming he's hidden for a reason – for now."

"I've been trying to create a seal to prevent the jutsu. Sasuke, you're the only one who has ever resisted the jutsu. How did you do it?"

"That was before he perfected it and evidently I still didn't do a good job of it as Orochimaru had still been along for the ride," Sasuke said grumpily. "And Orochimaru was weak at the time. I don't know if it's possible to even resist it anymore."

Naruto sighed. "Regardless, I'm going to try and work on a seal."

"The seal is all well and good but what's the point if we can't kill him," Sakura argued. "He regrows limbs and his pure form is impervious to damage and resistant to poisons."

"I'll hit him with a rasenshuriken. It attacks the enemy on a molecular level. It should kill him."

Sasuke shook his head. "Orochimaru knows you have that attack. I can already assure you that he has a counter for it."

"Do you have any better ideas on how to kill him?" Naruto snapped, growing frustrated. His usual flash of brilliance was not forthcoming against Orochimaru.

"It has to be something Orochimaru doesn't see coming."

"Which is easier said than done," Sakura huffed. "What if we don't kill him? The closest Orochimaru ever came to dying was the Dead Demon Consuming Seal the Sandaime used."

"That kills the summoner and the user."

Sasuke added, "And I believe that Orochimaru still has the Noh mask that provides access to the Shinigami – the mask he used to get his arms back in the first place. It'd be pointless."

"But something like that," Sakura insisted. "We need something to trap him permanently. Like how you trap a tailed beast into a person."

Sasuke shook his head. "I've had Orochimaru absorbed into my body once enough. It takes considerable chakra just to keep him suppressed. And he's manipulative. No matter who you put him in he's going to find a way out. The second time he was close to dying was when Itachi pierced him with the Totsuka sword and that only succeeded in sealing him a part of him."

"Well, is the Totsuka sword an option? Tomu has the mangekyou. Could he access it?"

Sasuke gave Naruto a look as if he was an idiot. "Tomu would have to have Susanoo in his left eye and I'm fairly sure it's a different ability. And even if he had Susanoo, our chakra might give it manifestation but Susanoo is from the realm of yokai. You'd have to travel through it and hope Itachi's Susanoo likes you. That sword is lost."

Sakura hit her forehead against the table. "Why did you have to revive him?"

"He was never truly dead," Sasuke argued. "Orochimaru had implanted the cursed seal on thousands spread out through the Five Shinobi Nations, and every single curse has a part of Orochimaru's consciousness that is always actively trying to revive or unseal him if anything happened to his main body. And when I revived him he was weak enough to handle. He's grown considerably stronger in the years."

Naruto rubbed his eyes. "So what you're saying is that even if we want to kill him, we need to track down everyone Orochimaru has placed a cursed seal on and unseal them?"

"If Itachi had to seal him, then even my brother couldn't figure out a way to kill him," Sasuke sighed softly. "But yes, I guess if we're to start anywhere it's with those with the cursed seal. I'm certain he's added more to his collection over the years."

"If I could capture someone with a cursed seal I might be able to study it and locate all the seals that match it," Naruto suggested. "This is good. This is a start. I'll send out a few spies tomorrow."

"There are two cursed seals: Cursed seal of Heaven and Cursed Seal of Earth. You'd need both. And in the meantime, I suggest we find a better way to kill him." It was a start but Sasuke knew this was far from over.

"How about we break for the night, let all the information simmer, and come back next week?"256 Sakura suggested.

"I guess," Naruto said reluctantly.

Sakura glanced over at the ticking clock. "We still have fifteen minutes. How about we used this to our advantage."

"I don't know Sakura. I need to get home and-"

"Great, I'll order the booze." Sakura immediately pressed the button connected to the main desk and ordered a dozen beers and a bottle of sake.

"Kami, Sakura, you know I don't have the sort of tolerance you do and I shouldn't be drinking," Naruto complained.

"I'm your doctor. I told you a long time ago that your heart has improved. You are perfectly capable of drinking," Sakura chided. "Look, Sasuke has had a fucked up week. Naruto, you've been so busy I hardly see you. While all three of us are here, why not hang out for a while?"

Naruto groaned. "Fifteen minutes?"

"Fifteen minutes," Sakura promised. Sasuke glanced over at Naruto, wondering how the idiot didn't see her blatant lie. Sasuke on the other hand just didn't have the strength to fight Sakura anymore. And he preferred the intimate comfort of a karaoke room with Team Seven to a crowded bar filled with strangers.

The beers and sake came seconds later. Sasuke watched in confusion as Sakura mixed the beer and sake into some concoction he's never seen before, but after all, this was Tsunade's pupil. "Okay, this is a sake bomb. When you pull the chopsticks you drink, got it?"

Sasuke nodded and wondered how this was going to work without spilling it all over himself.

"The last to chug it down has to take another shot."

"Come on, Sakura," Naruto complained.

"Who would have guessed you'd be the party pooper," Sakura pouted.

"Yeah, well, that was before I could get drunk," Naruto said sourly. Locking away the Kyuubi's chakra not only stalled his healing but also had unintended consequences he had found out the hard way. "And I have kids at home, I haven't told Ame I'd be out so late, I'm supposed to be-"

"To Team Seven!" Sakura toasted and snatched away her chopsticks. Sasuke quickly did the same.

Sakura slammed her beer glass onto the counter. It took Sasuke several seconds later. Naruto gave up halfway and had spilled most of it on his shirt.

"Teme, that's pathetic," Sasuke leaned forward with a teasing smirk.

Naruto threw off his soaked shirt angrily. Sakura shoved a shot in front of Naruto. "You lost, drink."

"No, I'm the Hokage and I'm ordering you to-" Naruto noticed the look Sakura gave Sasuke.

He didn't move in time before Sakura tackled Naruto into the cushions of the couch. Sasuke had taken the hint and snapped the bag of hiraishin kunai from around Naruto's waist and held them hostage. Sakura told Naruto, "You're not going home until you drink."

"Ugh, fine." Naruto reached and finished the shot in a gulp. "I hate the both of you."

"Sakura is right. I'm supposed to be the party pooper," Sasuke commented.

Suddenly the chords of a song began to fill the room. Sakura had entered a number into the machine and with another empty sake glass behind her, grabbed a microphone. "Come on, Naruto. This one is your favorite."

It took one more shot to get Naruto blaring into the microphone beside Sakura. Sasuke didn't know many songs but found it amusing at how Sakura literally took over a stage. Confidence was a good look on her. While they were singing, Sasuke noticed that the fifteen minutes on the clock had lurched forward to an hour. He didn't know if the owner simply gave them more time or if Sakura had asked for more.

"Teme, aren't you supposed to be a rapper or something, pick the next fucking song," Naruto said as he stumbled back into the couch while Sasuke attempted to pick a song. He didn't find many that he knew and the letters in the book were so small and things were getting a bit blurry.

"Rapper?" Sakura asked curiously.

Then Naruto collapsed in a wave of giggles. Naruto drunk was a sight to see. It was as if someone had given him too much candy. The guy couldn't sit still, always buzzing with a nervous excited energy. Isn't alcohol supposed to be a depressant?

"Sakura, you haven't heard it?! I caught Tomu listening to the song when I walked into the house one day. It's hilarious!"

Sasuke sunk further into the cushions.

"Hold on, let me find it," Naruto snatched the book out of Sasuke's lap. Sasuke tensed in horror and immediately tackled Naruto to the ground.

"Tell me the number!" Sakura laughed as she pushed at Sasuke with her foot to keep him pinned down while Sasuke attempted to hold the frantic search of Naruto's arms.

"1-" Naruto accidently kicked the table and shot glasses crashed to the floor. "5-" Sasuke caught a hold of Sakura's ankle and she tripped forward, crawling desperately out of his grip to reach the machine that had slid out of her hands. "3-" In frustration, Naruto reached down and automatically responded the way he would attack his kids. Sasuke jolted and curled in horror, feeling violated that Naruto had somehow found the tickle spot that Itachi had once mercilessly took advantage of. How was that spot still there?! "9!"

Then the song Sasuke had done with Killer Bee began filling the room. To Sasuke's utter surprise, Naruto jumped up (like a bunny), leapt over the cracked table (how did that happen?), and began rapping the song word for word.

Sakura lifted Sasuke up from the floor, which was beginning to become an uncomfortable habit between them, and physically shoved Sasuke to the stage. Naruto handed Sasuke a microphone with the biggest grin he's ever given Sasuke, albeit there was a mad and drunken hinge to it. Sasuke snatched the microphone and spat the verses much to Sakura wide-eyed stunned stare.

The song ended with a score of '98', the highest so far of the night.

"What! No fair!" Naruto complained. Naruto raced to put in a number on the machine.

The competition was on.

After several songs, Sasuke was fairly sure that those numbers were bullshit. He had drunkenly inputted a number, hadn't even known the song, garbled through the words, and somehow scored an '100'. But the face of Naruto's affronted disbelief was priceless.

Sasuke grabbed the mike solemnly, "I realize the screaming pain, hearing loud in my brain, but I'm going straight ahead with the scar."

Once the drums kicked in, Naruto jumped up beside him. They took turns singing the bridge, coming in together for the chorus, and jumping and hopping around like idiots during the guitar riffs.

By the end of the song, Naruto and Sasuke had collapsed against each other laughing. Naruto looked at Sasuke with bright wild eyes and a boyish smile that turned the whiskers on his face to endearing.

"I've missed you," Naruto said softly.

Because Sasuke couldn't control his own mouth right now, of course he said, "I've missed you too."

By the time they left the karaoke bar, three hours later, all three were unapologetically smashed. Sakura was limping down the sidewalk and holding a broken heel against her chest. Naruto and Sasuke were hanging off each other, often laughing at both nothing and everything.

"Oh wait, hold on, I can't. Can't we just stop here?" Naruto dropped to his knees and then literally stretched out in the middle of the road.

"My house is the closest. We can make it," Sakura said as she leaned down and physically dragged Naruto behind her. Sasuke sneered with laughter at Naruto, the Hokage, shirtless being dragged down the street.

"Ugh, Sakura, I can't make it that far," Naruto took out a hiraishin kunai from the belt pouch he has somehow reclaimed and grabbed Sasuke's ankle.

The sudden rush of chakra had Sasuke grabbing onto the kitchen table and vomiting in the sink. Sakura mumbled tiredly and made a beeline for the stairs. Sasuke trudged over to the couch, for some reason it was too damn hot and within seconds Sasuke had kicked his clothes off to his underwear. With his eyes closed, he could hear Naruto pissing in the toilet, cursing, probably because he kept missing. Sasuke snickered at the idiot and fell asleep soon afterwards.

Why was the sun hitting him right in the damn eyes? He had curtains for a reason. Sasuke woke up with a glare. He made a shift to close the stupid curtains and gasped in pain at the torture ringing in his head. It took him several slow seconds to realize this wasn't his room in the apartment or at the compound. Sasuke forced himself to sit, fighting through the pain, to realize something was very wrong. This wasn't Naruto's house either. He searched for a weapon but realized all he had on him was his underwear. Why was he naked?!

What the fuck was going on?

The last thing Sasuke remembered was discussing Orochimaru with Naruto and Sakura. Had Orochimaru attacked? Wait, did he remember singing?

Suddenly the sound of running water caught his attention. Sasuke got up and crept around the corner into a kitchen. Then he paused, frozen in shock. He closed his eyes for several seconds and then reopened them to the image of the Kazekage with an apron rinsing out what looked like vomit from the sink.

"Where the fuck am I?"

"Suna," Gaara answered, then turned to study Sasuke. "I should be the one asking what you are doing in my house, Uchiha."

"Where's Naruto?"

"In my bathroom asleep. And Sakura is asleep in my bed," Gaara said the last sentence bitingly, and then gave Sasuke a death glare as if it was his fault.

Then Sasuke uncomfortably asked, "Where are my clothes?"

"Outside drying on the clothesline. There was vomit on them."

"Did you," Sasuke cleared his throat, "Take them off me?"

Gaara gave Sasuke such a look. "I picked them up off the floor. I don't know who took them off you."

Sasuke looked up at the sound of footsteps and Sakura groggily stomped down the stairs. She didn't seem surprised that they were in Suna. "Stupid Naruto using the wrong kunai," then Sakura stopped and scanned Sasuke from the feet up, head down, three times over. "Where are your clothes? And what happened to your face?"

Naruto crawled out of the bathroom moments later. "Why is there so much noise? Hey Gaara, you didn't tell me you were stopping by for a visit." Naruto looked over at Sasuke and burst out laughing, soon followed by a groan. "What happened to your face?"

Sasuke smirked. "What happened to yours?"

Naruto's face was covered in white paint with streaks of color across it, making him look like a cartoonish fox. "Fucking Kankurou."

"At least Naruto isn't eating a dick." Sakura pointed out from the guardrail.

Naruto lurched forward laughing again. "I wonder how he knew."

Sasuke stomped into the bathroom Naruto had crawled out of and to his horror there was a dick face-painted onto his face in great awful detail. Kankurou was a fucking artist and a sadistic bastard. Sasuke attempted to rinse the paint off with water and almost scrubbed off his face. Sakura leaned into the doorway. "If Kankurou did that then his face paint is water proof. You won't be able to get it off without his solution."

"I am going to destroy the entirety of Suna," Sasuke promised through his teeth.

Sakura laughed as if Sasuke had just made a joke, when only a year ago, she would have taken the threat seriously. "I'll make a tea to help with the hangover. Gaara is making breakfast."

Sasuke stomped out the bathroom just as Gaara pulled muffins from the oven. Sasuke couldn't even process that. Everyone gathered at the kitchen table and Naruto groaned, "What happened last night?"

"I got pictures," Sakura said smugly. "We'll have to wait for the film to develop but," Sasuke froze at a click and a flash, "can't hurt to take more."

"Why don't you have any face paint?" Sasuke demanded.

"Maybe because Kankurou values his life." Sakura smirked and took a bite of her muffin. "These are great Gaara."

Gaara gave a proud smile.

"How do I get it off?" Sasuke demanded.

"You should probably keep sucking," Sakura suggest with a wry smile. Naruto almost choked on his muffin at Sakura's dick joke.

Sasuke threw his muffin until it thumped against Sakura's forehead. Gaara frowned. Sakura only threw her head back with laughter but Naruto suddenly crept in on the teasing. "I'm sure Sakura-chan could give you some pointers."

"Naruto is right. If I had known you liked dick, we could have been sharing tips a long time ago."

Sasuke stood and declared, "You are an evil woman."

He took Naruto's half-eaten muffin off of his plate because he was hungry and marched outside before he had a "situation." All this talk about eating dicks and Naruto sitting shirtless beside him was beginning to get to his imagination. He walked out the back door to see his clothes fluttering in the wind. They were still a little damp but good enough put back on.

He turned with a glare at Sakura who had followed him outside.

"I'm sorry," she said softly. "If you don't like the teasing I'll stop. It's just hard to take you serious with," Sakura waved at his face, "that on your face."

"It's fine." Sasuke shrugged. He hasn't made Naruto laugh like that in years, even if it did take a dick on his face to do it.

Sakura held out a small jar. "Found this in Kankurou's room. It should be able to wipe off the face paint."

"Thanks," Sasuke accepted the peace offering and began wiping at his face. It smelled terrible. "Is it working?"

"Now it looks like you're eating shit. You've smeared it everywhere. Wipe at it some more."

Sasuke huffed and grabbed a towel from the clothes line. He wiped at his face more vigorously. Sakura nodded when he finally got it all cleaned. Sakura patted Sasuke's shoulder. "We should hurry and get back to Konoha before Hinata calls a state of emergency."

When they re-entered the house, Naruto was talking quietly with Gaara. Sasuke remembered when the two jinchuuriki had first met and now they were sitting in the kitchen as comfortable as life-long friends. Sasuke felt a twang of jealously. He wanted that ease with Naruto again. He knew he still had a long way to go.

Naruto grabbed a muffin to go and gave a quick, "thanks for everything."

"I only regret not being here last night."

Naruto snorted and pointed at Gaara with a promise. "One day, Gaara, one day I will get you drunk."

Then Naruto wrapped an arm around Sakura and slapped Sasuke on the shoulder with a muffin hanging from his mouth. Naruto smiled at them. Sakura gave Sasuke a smug wink. And it occurred to Sasuke that he's never had this much fun in a long time. The bad mood hanging over him ever since the disaster that happened three nights ago dissipated so suddenly. He almost didn't recognize this sensation of warmth bubbling through him. He was happy.

Together, they went home.

x

Sasuke Uchiha had to live in the world that he had broken.

AN: The next chapter is one of my favorites. Although, this chapter does have one of my favorite scenes. See you next week.

Sorry I didn't get the chance to reply to reviews last week. Ugh, real life.

Soundtrack: Obviously, Flow - Sign