Here's another thrilling episode of UTPI!
Sorry for the short chapter.
000
-Static-
000
"Alright, we got Sigilyph out", said Krabby. "Now what do we do if we lose again?"
"What do you mean?" asked Drilbur.
"I mean who do we target", said Krabby. "You know there's a bunch of useless people on our team…in my perspective of course."
"We don't target anyone, we're not evil", said Kirlia. "We're just gonna get rid of the people who either failed the challenges or the ones who are useless…even though I don't think the latter is gonna happen anytime soon."
Krabby growled in frustration.
"No need to get crabby, Krabby", said Vibrava.
"That's not funny", said Krabby.
"I wasn't trying to be", replied Vibrava.
"Okay, you know what, forget about it", said Krabby as she stayed quiet.
"Whoa, Vibrava what did you do?" asked Crawdaunt. "I might need you to teach me."
Krabby's right claw glowed as she smacked Crawdaunt in the face, knocking him out.
"Nice Crabhammer", commented Swablu.
"Well, I don't know about you guys, but I'm gonna go get breakfast", said Drilbur as walked off.
"Hey, wait for me!" said Vibrava, following Drilbur.
"Typical guys, always thinking with their stomachs more than their brains", said Swablu.
"Swablu, trust me, it's not just their stomachs", said Kirlia.
000
"Stupid Krabby", said Crawdaunt, rubbing his face.
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Drilbur and Vibrava entered the mess hall, where coincidentally everyone else was as well.
"So…what's for breakfast today?" asked Drilbur as he and Vibrava sat down.
"Grayish-brown mush covered in red sauce and black spots", said Blitzle.
Drilbur groaned. "Of course, the breakfast is terrible."
"It's fine to me", said Gulpin.
"Yeah, me too", said Piloswine.
"You're two out of nine Pokemon who eat anything", said Swellow. "Of course you like this crap."
"Sometimes its great being like this", said Gulpin, "well…unless arugula is involved."
"Ugh…" groaned Lairon as Kirlia, Swablu, Krabby, and a now conscious Crawdaunt entered the mess hall.
"Why'd we all come in here?" asked Kirlia.
"Not sure", said Ampharos. "I think it's because of the giant sign they put in front of our cabins that said meet them in the mess hall."
"Oh, so that was what that sign meant, I thought it was a suggestion", said Crawdaunt. "I didn't really want to be tortured today."
"Well, I don't know what's taking them so long", said Swanna.
"It's Raikou and Entei, they're always late", said Mightyena.
A sudden eerie silence enveloped the room.
"Why do I have a feeling that something bad is about to happ-"
Swellow didn't get to finish her sentence as she was frozen solid. Everyone saw this and gasped.
"Vanillite?" asked Houndoom.
"I didn't do it", said Vanillite, who was frightened himself.
"Then who d-"started Zoroark before she was frozen as well.
"Okay, I'm outta here", said Drilbur as he tried to run out of the door, only for it to close.
"Aw crap", said Vibrava.
Suddenly, the intercom inside the mess hall came on.
"Hello campers and welcome to your next challenge-freeze tag!"
They recognized the voice as Raikou's.
"What the hell?!" shouted Houndoom.
"That's right; the only difference is that we've upgraded it so that its name actually has its literal meaning."
"So what, we have to actually freeze people?" asked Espeon.
"No, Kyurem is gonna be hunting you down and blasting you with NeverMeltIce so that you can't thaw out until the challenge is over", said Raikou. "The object is to be the last player standing for your team."
"Wait, isn't Kyurem the strongest Dragon-type Pokemon?" asked Carracosta.
"That's correct."
"Aw great", said Farfetch'd.
"Now, we've already eliminated one player from each of your teams so that it can be even", said Raikou.
"It was already even you jerk!" shouted Krabby.
"I know, but we just like to reduce your load", said Raikou. "Oh and the challenge starts…now!"
The door opened up. Everyone looked at each other before running out of the door.
000
"Okay, I think we should hide", said Vanillite.
"I know a great hiding place for you", said Gulpin.
Gulpin opened his huge mouth and swallowed Vanillite. A muffled scream was heard from the inside of his mouth.
"Gulpin, spit him out", said Piloswine.
Gulpin shook his head.
"Gulpin…" said Piloswine, threateningly.
Gulpin sighed and opened his mouth, allowing Vanillite to float out.
"Never…do that…again", said Vanillite, panting.
Suddenly, two icicle piles appeared on either side of them. They looked behind them and saw a gray dragon with piercing yellow eyes glaring at them. "Hello", the dragon said cruelly.
"Shit", said Piloswine as he, Vanillite, and Gulpin ran away.
000
Blitzle and Ponyta were hiding inside a cave blocked by a boulder.
"Okay, we just need to stay here until this challenge is over", said Blitzle as he checked the outside. "That sound alright Ponyta?"
He received no response. "Ponyta?"
He turned around and saw that Ponyta was lying down and looking at him seductively.
"Uh…"
Ponyta got up and started walking towards him. Blitzle got nervous and started to back up until he hit the wall of the cave. Smiling, Ponyta locked lips with him, making him go wide-eyed.
Ponyta broke the kiss and looked at him happily.
"Wow", was all Blitzle could say. "I guess at least we have something to do in here."
Ponyta giggled and kissed him again.
000
Kirlia and her alliance in their alliance meeting place in the forest.
"Well…this is a great hiding spot", said Crawdaunt sarcastically.
"I didn't hear you coming up with any ideas", said Kirlia.
"That's because there are no thoughts in his head", said Krabby.
"Shut the fuck up", shouted Crawdaunt.
Kyurem came from behind the bushes and immediately froze Crawdaunt and Krabby. Kirlia instantly teleported herself, Drilbur, Vibrava, and Swablu away, seconds before they were blasted at.
"Well, that's four out of thirty-six", said Kyurem evilly as he flew into the air.
000
Xatu was staring at the sun, once again ignoring the challenge at hand. Kyurem saw the totem bird staring at the sun.
He took his chance and froze Xatu, getting a perfect shot.
"Thirty-one more to go", said Kyurem as he flew away.
000
Rufflet, Wooper, and Swanna were sitting by the beach.
"So Rufflet, what happened in your life that made you the way that you are?" asked Swanna.
Rufflet looked at Wooper, who nodded.
"You see Swanna, Rufflet doesn't like to talk about it that much because it reminds him of what he had to deal with", said Wooper.
"He told you didn't he?" asked Swanna.
"Yeah, but that's because I'm one of his best friends", said Wooper.
"I'm his friend too", said Swanna. "Even though I want to be more, "she finished softly.
"What was that?" asked Wooper.
"Nothing", said Swanna. "Just tell me…please Rufflet."
Rufflet sighed. "Fine; my parents used to always look down on me because I was weaker than all of the other Rufflet that lived around my home. They kept trying to get me stronger by paying stronger Pokemon to battle me…but the only think that did was make me more wary and scared of my surroundings. Then, one of the Pokemon that my dad paid to battle me got pissed because he felt that he was paid enough and then he killed my dad."
"What?" asked Swanna, sympathetically.
"Yeah, it gets worse", said Rufflet. "After my dad died, my mom took out all of her anger and frustration on me…saying that it was my fault that he was killed."
"Rufflet…" said Swanna, her voice breaking.
Suddenly, they all heard a few sniffles and turned around to find Kyurem standing there wiping one of his eyes with his claws.
"That was beautiful…" said Kyurem evilly. "Ah-CHOOO!"
He blew a shot of NeverMeltIce at the three of them, freezing them on contact.
"I loved that painful story", said Kyurem. "It warmed my cold heart, but only for two seconds…"
000
"Alright, Kyurem is on a roll, he's gotten out eight campers already", said Raikou from inside his trailer. "I'm glad we chose him for this."
"What other choices did we have? Articuno's nice and no one can understand Regice", said Entei.
"True…and Kyurem is very crazy and loves causing pain, just like you, Yveltal, Darkrai", said Raikou. "Sometimes I wonder if you four would have a foursome or something…"
"There is something wrong with you…" said Entei.
000
Carracosta, Mienshao, and Floatzel were all hiding in the same cabin, the girls'.
"Why am I here again?" asked Carracosta, slightly agitated.
"We need you for protection", said Mienshao.
"And we can kick your ass if you don't stay", added Floatzel.
Carracosta groaned. "You girls are stronger than me!"
"Well, then we're here for your protection", said Mienshao.
Carracosta sighed as he heard a knock at the door. He opened it up and was blasted by Kyurem, along with Mienshao and Floatzel.
"This is getting too easy", said Kyurem.
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Ampharos was with Lucario roaming around the campgrounds. So far, they weren't spotted.
"This is so easy", said Lucario. "We can just stay unspotted and we'll be okay."
"Maybe, but we just need to focus right now", said Ampharos.
"Wow, Ampharos, evolving sure gave you some confidence", said Lucario.
"Damn right it did."
000
Farfetch'd and Cinccino were all hiding deep in the forest.
"Why are we out here?" asked Cinccino. "It's so dirty."
"We're outside, what did you expect?" asked Farfetch'd
"I know we're outside, but why are we in the forest?" asked Cinccino.
"Do you want to be frozen?" asked Farfetch'd.
"I'd rather be frozen than dirty", said Cinccino.
"Wait, do you hear something?" asked Farfetch'd.
"No", said Cinccino. "Do you?"
"Yeah, it's like a faint-"
Farfetch'd didn't get to finish as he was frozen solid. Cinccino screamed and was about to run, but Kyurem was too fast and froze her.
"I love this game", said Kyurem.
000
Lairon, Honchkrow, and Fraxure were underground in a shelter that Fraxure had built.
"Okay, just a few questions, how did you build this and when did you build this?" asked Lairon as she looked around.
"You don't need to know", said Fraxure.
"I've got no questions, as long as it protects my body, I'm fine", said Honchkrow.
Suddenly, they all heard a rumbling noise and saw a dirt trail moving towards them. Out of the dirt popped out…a Diglett.
"What's a Diglett doing here?" asked Honchkrow.
"Guys, it's me!" said the Diglett as it revealed itself to be Zoroark.
"Oh, nice disguise", said Fraxure. "Wait, weren't you frozen?
"Thanks and no, I faked that. Don't ask how", said Zoroark as she looked around. "How did you get down here?"
"Fraxure", said Honchkrow simply.
"Okay", said Zoroark. "So do we just stay down here?"
"I guess-" said Lairon.
000
Gulpin, Vanillite, and Piloswine were in the kitchen, with Vanillite hiding in the freezer and Gulpin and Piloswine eating all of the food.
"I love this challenge", said Gulpin.
"Yeah, we're not having pain done to us", said Piloswine.
"-I wouldn't say that", said a voice.
The two of them turned around and saw Kyurem glaring at them.
"Crap!" shouted Gulpin as he and Piloswine were frozen.
"Now, where is that ice cream cone guy?" asked Kyurem to himself. Then he got a thought. He looked in the freezer and saw something shocking, and somewhat ironic.
Vanillite was in the freezer, but it was so cold that the freezer gave the affect of NeverMeltIce.
"How does an Ice-type freeze in the freezer?" asked Kyurem. "Oh well…"
000
Tyranitar and Typhlosion were hiding in the guys' cabin and were doing what they did best when doing a simple challenge, making out.
"Mmm…Tyranitar", moaned Typhlosion as Tyranitar nibbled her neck.
Tyranitar chuckled and kissed her once more before getting up.
"What's the matter?" asked Typhlosion.
"Nothing sweetie, I just think that we should try to focus on the challenge a little more", said Tyranitar.
"Baby, we have more people left than the Dialgas", explained Typhlosion. "Stop worrying so much", she finished by planting a kiss on his lips.
Tyranitar gave her a sly look. "Alright, if you say so."
"Mmm…then come here big boy", she said seductively, motioning a finger towards herself.
000
Arcanine, Luxray, and Houndoom were all in the boys' bathroom.
"I'm bored", admitted Houndoom.
"We're in a bathroom", said Arcanine. "The only things to do in here are piss, crap, and bathe."
"Thank you for making me more wary of the surroundings here", said Luxray sarcastically.
"Hey, it was your idea Lux", said Arcanine.
"I know, I just don't see why we have to stay in here just to avoid being frozen", said Luxray.
"Then let's not", said Houndoom as he exited the bathroom. Soon, Arcanine and Luxray heard a blast and looked out of the doorway. They saw Houndoom frozen solid.
"Huh, well he's now a pup-sicle", chuckled Luxray, earning a look from Arcanine.
"Not the right time for puns, even though it was funny", said Arcanine.
"Oh, lookie here, two dogs one bathroom", said Kyurem as he approached the two of them.
"Actually..I'm a lion", said Luxray.
Kyurem immediately blasted him and Arcanine.
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Espeon was hiding in a tree. She decided to sit there until the challenge was over. She was about to fall asleep, but she heard a rustling in the bushes. She opened her eyes and saw Kirlia, Drilbur, Vibrava, and Swablu exiting them.
"What the-" started Espeon as she watched them.
"Thanks a lot Kirlia", said Drilbur.
"Yeah, we would've gotten frozen for sure", said Swablu.
"Yeah", said Vibrava.
"Hey, we're in an alliance aren't we?" asked Kirlia, "We're supposed to help each other."
"Yeah, thanks again", said Drilbur. "Now let's go before Kyurem comes back."
"Right", said Swablu.
"TOO LATE!" shouted a voice before all four of them were frozen solid.
Kyurem laughed evilly as Espeon tried to conceal herself. Her tail, however was still seen and she was frozen just like the others.
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Ninetales, Absol, and Mightyena were all were looking for somewhere to hide. They decided to use the girls' bathroom for cover.
Once they came up to it, they noticed three figures in front of the boys' bathroom. Upon closer inspection, they realized who they were and tried their best to refrain from laughing.
"Well, I guess Kyurem got to them", laughed Ninetales.
"Yeah, but we'd better get inside the bathroom before he finds us as well", said Mightyena.
But before they could enter, all three girls found themselves frozen.
"Well that was easy", said Kyurem.
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"Okay, this place is getting waaaay too overcrowded", said Honchkrow.
Ampharos and Lucario both decided to come down after falling into the hole they dug to get into the shelter.
"You can say that again", said Lairon. "I hate being close to people like this, physically and emotionally."
"Don't worry, it'll all be over soon", said an unfamiliar voice.
"Who said that?" asked Ampharos.
"Your worst nightmare", said the voice.
Everyone felt a sudden chill surrounding them and they were all frozen solid in an instant. Kyurem laughed evilly before flying off to find his last victims.
000
Blitzle and Ponyta were both exhausted from their 'fun time' in the cave and were laying down inside of it.
"Whew, that felt great…" said Blitzle.
"Yeah, it did", said Ponyta as she kissed him again. "Now let's go see if the challenge is over yet."
Ponyta and Blitzle got out of the cave and started roaming around, searching for their comrades.
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Tyranitar and Typhlosion, like Blitzle and Ponyta, finished up and decided to check on how they were doing.
First, they saw Xatu, who was frozen, on top of the roof.
"What the fuck?" asked Tyranitar. "Don't tell me we're the last ones standing again."
They decided to go to the bathroom, but they saw Arcanine, Houndoom, Luxray, Ninetales, Mightyena, and Absol all frozen there, so they decided to check somewhere else.
They walked along the beach and saw Rufflet, Swanna, and Wooper all frozen as well.
"This is getting creepy", commented Typhlosion.
"You said it", said Tyranitar.
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"What the-how are we the last ones standing?" asked Ponyta.
"I'm not sure, but all I know is that if we lose, one of us is gonna be voted out", said Blitzle saddened.
"Maybe not…" said Ponyta, trying to reassure him.
"Ponyta, it always hap-"
Blitzle didn't get to finish as he and Ponyta were both frozen by Kyurem.
"THE PALKIAS WIN!" announced Raikou.
Tyranitar and Typhlosion smiled at each other and hugged.
000
After thawing everyone out, they met up in the middle of the campgrounds.
"Now, the Palkias won, so they don't have to go to elimination, and since Blitzle and Ponyta lasted the longest for the Dialgas, they get invincibility tonight", explained Raikou. "Well, that's it, now get voting."
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"I don't know who to vote for, but I think I'll vote out Cinccino", said Drilbur.
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"Cinccino, she's just a bad leader", said Mienshao.
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"Invincibility!" shouted Blitzle cheerily. "I also vote for Cinccino."
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"Farfetch'd", said Cinccino.
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Everyone had already gotten their poffins except for Farfetch'd and Cinccino.
"The last poffin goes to…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…Farfetch'd."
Farfetch'd sighed in relief.
"What?" asked Cinccino. "Why did you guys vote me off?"
"You're a bad leader and you have a cleaning problem!" shouted Krabby.
"Whatever, I'll go to the Chair of Loserdom-"
"No you won't", said Raikou.
"I'm not kicked off?" asked Cinccino with a smile.
"No, you are kicked off, but because our interns were scared of who we might launch next, they destroyed all of the chairs we had", said Raikou, glaring at some of the interns. "So, we've thought of a better way to send you off. Follow me everyone."
000
Everyone followed him to the dock, where a giant slingshot was standing.
"What the hell is that?" asked Gulpin.
"This is the Slingshot of Sorrow, from now on, when you're voted out, you'll be strapped to the slingshot and shot across the ocean."
"You said lake last chapter", said Vanillite.
"What did I say about the fourth wall!?" shouted Raikou, making Vanillite flinch. "Now, Cinccino, you're gonna be the first victim of this new elimination method, so…HANG ON!"
"AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!" screamed Cinccino as she flew across the ocean.
Everyone stared at the contraption and then looked at each other passively. Now they definitely needed to win more challenges.
They all went back to the cabins.
"Oh, and interns, if you try to destroy the slingshot, we'll rip off your genitals and feed them to the Sharpedos", Raikou said in a serious dark tone, making all of the interns, male and female shudder in fear.
000
Chapter done…and a short one I might add. Sorry about that. Cinccino's gone…but she was a sucky leader anyway. Once again, it is proven that making out can help you win and last longer than others. Poor Rufflet, having to go through all that pain. Once again, sorry for the short chapter, and I'll see you guys next time with another episode of Ultimate Total…Pokemon…Island! See ya guys, BYE!
Next time: Ah, ah, ah, ah, stayin' alive!