Disclaimer: Nnnnnope. Not me. I spend my money on nougat. I have nothing left with which to purchase the rights to our Dearly Beloved.

A/N: I wrote most of this last night in a white heat, after doing a walk. It was great. I walk around and around my house, coz I'm a mutated freak who can't go outside (actually, I take care of my sick sister, the source of my inordinate amount of spare time, coz there's only so many times you can play My Little Pony without going stark fucking nuts) and I recommend it to any and all. The ideas just flood through. And then, if you go straight from that to writing, it is, though mildly sweaty, highly productive.

You guys are spoiling me with these reviews! (However, if you stop, I will cry). I encourage all readers to follow their example, because it really spurs me on. And, before I forget: The very last bit of this chapter is dedicated to A Beautiful Breakdown, who reminded me so very luckily that I had completely forgotten that part of it. It's little, but it matters.

Note: Try downloading and listening to 'One Crowded Hour' by Augie March, if only for the first line of the chorus. I was just listening to it, and it struck me as something I wish I'd thought of for Riku's inner monologue, at any point. It's a beautiful sentiment.

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CHAPTER FOURTEEN

Demyx was curled on the floor, fists bunched against his stomach, whimpering soundlessly. Zexion sat beside him, deft fingers gently brushing through the blond hair, doing his best to provide a measure of comfort, however meagre.

"I wish you hadn't done this," he murmured, closing his eyes against the pain of seeing his lover twisted with so much agony. Demyx drew in a ragged breath.

"Everyone deserves… to die in peace," he gasped out. Zexion let out a humourless laugh.

"You call this peace?"

Demyx's eyes slipped shut. "Fine, then…" he whispered. "Free, then."

Zexion pursed his lips. "It really means that much to you, doesn't it?"

Demyx didn't respond. It hurt to breathe.

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The week passed relatively seamlessly. I worked on my fractions, was forced to play some guitar, and suffered Sephiroth several more times throughout. Sora and I spent a lot of time together, but since that first night in Twilight Town, there hadn't been any intimate contact between us. I was content with this, for the moment; having Sora get to know me better was more important right now. It was gratifying that, even the second time around, he was more interested in me as a person than the face and body that seemed to hook in the rest of the world. I could've got physical satisfaction anywhere I wanted; I'd certainly had enough propositions from a steady stream of students in my few days at the Academy. It always delighted me on some smug level when they did it in front of Sora – he was about three more flirty people away from going berserk and ramming someone's head into the wall. I could get used to this possessive side of him.

As Friday went through its motions, I found myself held back at the end of math at Leon's request. Sora, hovering outside, insisting still on walking me to each class, had to wait.

"So," Leon said, leaning back in his chair, rocking two of the legs an inch off the floor. He was studying me. "What were you thinking of when you took the test? A girl?"

I arched an eyebrow. "I'm sorry?"

"Your results on the exam aren't adding up to the aptitude I'm seeing you exhibit in class."

I was floored. He was stringing together sentences. Big words. Astuteness!

"Uh, right. Well, I kind of knew I wasn't in the right class," I said awkwardly. "I should probably be in algebra."

"Like Sora?"

I sent him a sharp, wondering glance. "Yeah. Just like Sora."

"Huh." He rocked back and forth, playing with a newly sharpened pencil, squinting at the pointy tip. "So, I'm thinking, maybe you should retake the test. And keep your mind off your hormones long enough to make it accurate, this time."

I was offended. "I wasn't distracted by hormones."

"Whatever. Either way, your test sucks, you don't. Take it again, and we'll see what happens. See you Monday." I was dismissed, his attention already elsewhere.

I left the room feeling almost dazed. Sora was waiting expectantly, after having yelled an unanswered greeting through the door to Leon. "Well?" he asked, as we walked. "What'd he say?"

"I'm retaking the test. If I don't fuck up, he'll move me into a higher class."

"Excellent!" Sora was genuinely pleased for me. "You can be with me, maybe, and you'll actually get a chance to use that massive brain of yours."

I snorted. "The only thing that's massive on me is my – "

"Ego, pretty-boy?" Axel sweetly cut in, falling into step on the other side of Sora, having eavesdropped the last part of the conversation. I rolled my eyes.

"Of course, Ax, what else was I going to say?"

Sora, meanwhile, was blushing at the innuendo.

We walked to the cafeteria. School was now officially over for the week, and an entire weekend of relaxation and, well, homework, stretched in front of us. It wasn't too tough for me to get back into the scholarly habits; I had spent a lot of the past year helping Sora with his homework most nights anyway. My thinking at the time was that it would keep me sharp for college – I hadn't really counted on repeating senior year.

We were preparing to grab some snacks, then go to the student common room and play a few rounds of air hockey, having booked the table three days in advance. It would have been great – if, of course, I had made it as far as the common room.

I was accosted in the caf by a pissed-looking, but trying to hide it, Kairi.

"Riku." She had her hands on her hips, toe tapping, the very image of hell hath no fury. I might have gulped a little, and hidden behind Axel. He laughed, quickly side-stepping, unwilling to be caught in the line of fire. I shot him a glare, then smiled feebly at the small, scary girl in front of me. "Kairi. Dear. How are you?"

She huffily blew some hair out of her eyes. "I'm fine, Riku, just great. How are you? Because I haven't seen you almost the entire week, so I have no idea."

"…Oh?"

She smiled sweetly at Sora and Axel. "Boys, as much as I'm sure Riku would love to run off and do guy stuff with you today, I'm afraid he's mine until further notice."

She hooked a hand in my elbow and simply started pulling. "But Kairi… Tidus…?"

"Tidus can survive one afternoon without me," she said crossly. "Honestly, Riku, all you've done this whole week is fawn over Sora. I'm your sister! I'm feeling neglected!"

I was kind of surprised. I hadn't thought she was taking this whole sibling thing as seriously as all that. "Well, uh, okay, I guess."

She stopped, turned, giving me the evil-eye. "You guess? You have no idea what it means to be related to me, do you?"

Apparently, thirteen years of practically-family hadn't prepared me for the real thing.

"What do you want to do?" I asked.

"Coffee," Kairi scowled. "I'm deprived. I haven't had a cup in, like, days. You and me, we're going to get caffeinated, and we are going to catch up. Go get changed; I'll meet you out front in twenty minutes."

Jesus.

I went to my room, found Roxas already there, half-dressed. He glanced over his shoulder as I came in. "Oh, hey. Where's Axel?"

"Uh, going to the common room. I thought you were going, too?"

He shrugged. "Nah. I'm going out with Hayner, Pence and Olette."

"Uh…"

He looked amused. "Relax, we're not fighting. We like to have our own space every now and then, you know. Oxygen going into our lungs that didn't first belong to a significant other." He grabbed out a can of deodorant spray, applying it liberally, then sat on the bed and watched as I started to strip. I raised an eyebrow. "See something you like, Rox? Can I help you?"

"Shut the fuck up. I'm not perving on you." There was a brief silence, in which I shrugged and, not particularly bothered since there wasn't a hint of anything lusty in the calm blond, continued with my wardrobe change. "You and Sora," he struck up at last.

"Yes?" I was buttoning my shirt.

"You guys… you're close. Aren't you."

"Yeah. We are."

"Like… how close?"

I smirked. "Close enough that if he comes to you in tears anytime soon, you know whose ass to kick and why."

He nodded. "I see." He watched as I sat, dragging out casual shoes and tugging them on. "You're going to be good to him, right?" he asked abruptly. "It's just… he's never been with anyone before. I didn't think he was into guys, but then you showed up, and it's pretty obvious you're all that there is from morning to night, inside that little pea-brain of his…" I laughed.

"Shut up. Sora's smarter than Axel."

"Actually, he's not." He was speaking honestly, not a trace of irritation in his tone. "Axel's pretty damn smart. You've got to be, to combine explosive materials for this long and still have all your major and minor bodily appendages still attached."

I paused, looked up. "That's true," I admitted. I went back to tying my laces. "So, what was your point again?"

He shrugged, still shirtless, leaning back to get more comfortable. "I guess, just, be good to him. I'm not against it anymore. I can see you're an okay guy, and you really seem, I don't know, taken with him." I snorted. He eyed me. "Axel says you said you loved him. That day on the boat. I didn't even hear."

"Axel was making sure I wasn't a homophobe. Remember the scum comment?" Roxas nodded in understanding. "Well, I responded by telling him I was in love with Sora."

"Are you?" He was watching me carefully. I slowed in my actions, then finished the knot and sat up. I looked at him hard, weighing my options.

"Yeah."

"And you were… even then?"

"Hell, Roxas, it was only a week ago."

"Well, yeah, but at least you've had a bit more time to get to know him. Don't you think… maybe things are going too fast? I – I don't think…"

"He doesn't love me back," I said bluntly. "Not yet. But he will, and I'll wait for him until he does. He means… more to me than you know," I muttered.

It felt strange, revealing myself to him. He'd keep it to himself, that much I was sure of. I didn't even think he'd end up relating this conversation to Axel. And… it was hard keeping such a big emotion secret. It was leaking out at the edges. I wasn't going to lie about how I felt for Sora – if someone caught me out, I would just tell them, and let them decide for themselves whether or not I was genuine.

I stood, straightening my clothing. "Anyway, I can't stop," I said blithely. "Kairi's waiting for me. I don't want to find out what happens when her brother keeps her waiting. I think I've put myself in for a lot of legal abuse."

Roxas snuffed a laugh. "I know I get away with it," he agreed. I grinned.

"Thanks, Roxas. For talking to me. And… thanks for caring about Sora. And – and for accepting me."

"Shut up, pretty-boy. At this rate, Kairi's going to come get you. I don't want to be an incidental casualty, thanks all the same."

I left, feeling about three pounds lighter from the chest upward. I met Kairi cheerfully, grabbing her around the waist and throwing her over my shoulder, shrieking and kicking.

"Riku! Skirt! Underwear!"

"Come on, Kairi, you wear a skirt that short and the world deserves a show."

I chuckled as she gasped various death threats, slinging her down at last on the edge of town. She fumed and spluttered and smoothed herself down. She glowered as I laughed.

"Since when are you such a happy person?" she asked accusingly. I shrugged.

"What, I can't enjoy my time out with my dearest baby sister?"

"You do know what I'm capable of, don't you?"

I turned to her, smiling. "Yeah, Kairi," I said honestly. "I really do. You're tougher than you look."

She looked surprised, pleased, and suspicious, as though I was maybe just yanking her chain. "You always treat me like such a girl," she complained, as we wandered down the street in the blanketing twilight.

"Oh, come on, Kai, you know I love you. You're one of my best friends."

She looked suddenly smug, previous ire, weak as it was, forgotten. "Yeah, one of. The other being a certain brown-haired boy who looks like he got his head stuck in a chocobo nest at birth."

"Hey," I said mildly, "don't knock the chocobo spikes. They're cool."

"Yes," she said gaily, linking our arms together. "They are, aren't they?"

We looked like a couple, walking along hand-in-arm, but neither of us cared. Those days were behind us. We had an understanding now, and we each had someone to call our own. We received a great many admiring glances, handsome as we were together, but all we breezily cared about was finding somewhere warm to sit and drink coffee.

"Oh, this place is my favourite," Kairi enthused, dragging me to an establishment called Olive. "It's actually more of a restaurant than a coffee shop, it sells such great entrees."

We sat, and accepted the menus offered by our waiter. I asked for just a coffee, while Kairi took some time to peruse the list. She ended up ordering some fish brochettes, whatever those were. We idled away the time spent waiting for our orders with small talk, about classes and homework and who said what about whom. Kairi, much to my disgust, was very up on all of that shit, and when I complained, primly informed me there was nothing wrong with being inquisitive. Better than an anti-social bum, she insinuated.

Our coffees came, along with Kairi's plate of fish… skewer… things. "Fish sticks," I surmised, earning deeply offended looks from both Kairi and the waiter.

"You are so embarrassing." Kairi rolled her eyes. "I can't take you anywhere, can I?"

I sipped my coffee. "So, how are things with you and wonder boy?" I asked. "Has he given me any reason to kick him in half yet?"

"No. He's a gentleman," she said, telling me off with a smile. "And besides, you see us together every day at lunch."

"Please, I'm trying to enjoy myself here. Don't bring up what I've seen you two do at lunch."

"Fine," she smirked, picking at her fish. "Since I'm going to busy eating, why don't you tell me about you and Sora?"

"You really are prime evil," I pointed out casually. She shrugged, sighed, tossed her hair over her shoulder.

"It comes with such pretty shoes, someone has to fill them."

I 'hmphed'. "Me and Sora… we're good." A goofy sort of smile floated over my features. Kairi was looking more complacent by the second.

"So…? Tell me all about it."

I cast her a wry look. "Haven't you been speaking to Sora already?"

She shook her head. "Can't talk. Eating." She made a 'go on' gesture with her hand. I sighed, shifting my cup between my hands.

"Well… like I said, things are good. He's accepting me, slowly. He likes me back now. I mean, I think he's liked me pretty much from the start, but in his mind, he's gaining more reason to as time passes. We've been talking a lot. He's getting to know me."

"Each other," Kairi corrected. "You're getting to know each other. There's a lot more to Sora than meets the eye."

"Believe me, I know."

"Oh?" She raised her eyebrows suggestively. I balled up my napkin and threw it at her head.

"There's oil running down your chin, Queen Kairi."

She glared, snatching up the paper and wiping her face.

"So, how come you guys aren't going out on dates yet?"

I hesitated. "Well, I mean, isn't it too soon? He's only known me for a couple weeks…"

"Oh, so what, Riku. Honestly, the way you two behave, it's like you were nuns in a past life. You guys don't even hold hands!"

"Well, give him a break, Kairi. I'm his first, like, everything. And I'm a guy. It takes getting used to. Stereotypes to overcome and whatnot."

"Please. Sora's seen enough of Roxas and Axel together to come to terms with homosexuality, and the impact being one has on the world around you. I assure you, he doesn't care about that side of things. And it's not like Twilight Academy is full of 'phobes. I can't think of anyone who'd give him a hard time about it, except maybe Seifer, and even he isn't a full-out homophobe – he's just an asshole."

I laughed. "Well, we'd already established that much."

She laughed with me, then quickly sobered and persisted, "Seriously, why don't you ask him out?"

I rubbed the back of my neck uncomfortably. "Jeeze, Kairi… I don't know. I don't want to push him. He'll get scared off if I pursue him too aggressively."

"Hmm." She leaned forward, elbows on the table, wiping her fingers clean with her napkin. "You know what I think?" I gave her a questioning look. "I think you're not so much scared of scaring him – I think you're just flat out scared. All by yourself. No Sora. Just Riku."

I narrowed my eyes. "Meaning?"

"You're afraid he'll reject you," she said simply, sipping her coffee. "That's pretty much how I see it. You want to wait until you know he'll say yes. You'd be quite happy to string this whoooole thing out until he's virtually begging for it, and then you'll ask him out. And then it'll be all unbalanced, and Sora will feel like a slut for wanting more than a peck on the first date." She flashed me a half-wicked, half-prideful grin. "You see why you should talk to your sister more often, dear heart?"

I sat in mute astonishment. "…Kairi?" I said after a while.

"Yes, sweetie?" She blew on her coffee.

"Get out of my head."

She laughed delightedly, clapping her hands. "I was right! I knew I was right! So?"

"So…? What?" I asked blankly. She gusted out a breath.

"So, are you going to use this pearl of wisdom or what? Are you going to ask him out?"

"…I…"

"Oh, that's wonderful news, Riku. I'm sure he'll say yes. Correction: I know he's going to say yes, even if you're too chicken to chance it."

"I – I'm not chicken," I defended.

"Pssh. Sure. So prove it."

I sat up straighter. "Fine. I'll do it. I'll ask him out."

Oh, hell, the look on her face. She grinned evilly and whipped out her cell-phone from God only knows where. She slid it across the table, and picked up her cup, crossing her legs. "He's in the address book. Under 'Sora'."

"Oh, really?" I gritted. My hand hovered, then plucked it up and flipped it open. I swung through the address book until I came to Sora's name, then sighed, thumb poised over the call button. "Kairi…"

"Do it, you freak. He adores you."

Adores?

"Did he say that?" I asked.

"God, what are you, twelve? Make the call, schoolgirl, or I might have to let something slip during one of my not-too-distant conversations with my dearest best-friend-since-forever."

"You – are such a bitch." She flicked her nails at me to get a move on. I hung my head.

Then I pressed the button.

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Kairi was smirking into her cup. That had to have been the most awkward, embarrassing conversation of my life. Especially with Axel in the background making kissing noises. He'd attempted, "Ohh, Riku, I looove you," in a falsetto, but the yelp of pain that caught him halfway through told me Sora had retaliated.

But he said yes.

Now, if I could just get rid of the headache I'd given birth to from freaking out so much, I'd be the happiest guy in the world.

"Oh, Riku? Riku… Shit." She gathered up an unused serviette and threw it at me. "Sweetie, your nose is bleeding. Wow, that must've been some conversation. You did good – it sounded totally innocent on this end."

"Shut up," I muttered, feeling a stab of concern. I grabbed up the paper and swiped my nose. It wasn't heavy, thank God. I didn't want Kairi to have to suffer what Pence had. It stopped after a few minutes, but my headache intensified the slightest amount.

If this was what happened when I just asked the guy out, I dreaded to think what kind of state I'd be in by tomorrow night.

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I woke up the next morning feeling nauseous. I rolled out of bed and padded down the hall to the bathroom, where I collapsed in front of one of the toilet bowls and voided my stomach. Some smart-ass walking past said, "Should've taken the Pill." I flipped him off, weakly. Taking a deep breath, I pulled the lever to flush and dragged myself to my feet. I couldn't be sick today. I had my date with Sora tonight! I'd be picking him up at seven!

I needed to get away the foul taste in my mouth. I bent over the sink, ignoring the bodies passing to and fro behind me, and swished a mouthful of water, spitting it in a stream down the drain.

"Pleasant," said a cheerful voice beside me. I turned my head, glaring daggers, softening slightly when I saw that it was Pence. His eyes narrowed. "Man, you don't look so good. Hard night out?"

I shook my head. "I wish," I said hoarsely. "I woke up this way. Maybe I caught something from someone…"

Pence took a hurried step back, hands held up. "Please, I'm asking you, don't infect me. I'm taking Olette ice-skating today."

"There's ice skating?"

"Oh, sure, you have to take the bus though. It's in the next town over."

"Ah. So, you and Olette?"

"Haha, yeah, I guess. You and Sora?"

I smiled half-heartedly. "Our first date is tonight."

"Ohhh. That's not good. You should go see the nurse."

I snuffed a laugh. "What is it with you and trying to get me to the nurse?"

His mood dimmed at a reminder of that awful night. He touched my shoulder carefully. "You really shouldn't go out tonight. Take some time to rest."

I shook my head, wiping my chin with my wrist. "I can't cancel this. It'll set us back weeks."

He scratched his head, squinting one eye. "Yeah, I'm thinking you hurling on Sora isn't exactly going to endear you to him."

"Well, I really don't want to cancel. I'll be okay. I'll go eat something, that'll settle my stomach."

"Hey, wait for me, will ya? I'm just taking a shower, real quick. I'll meet you at your room?"

"Sure, okay." I staggered out of the bathroom and back down the hall. Roxas was still asleep, so I was quiet. I sat on the bed for a bit, working up the energy to get dressed. I was exhausted, and the day hadn't even begun. My head was pounding worse than ever. "Jeeze," I muttered, rubbing hard at my temples, trying to soothe the pain away, to no avail. I heaved a sigh, making a face at the sourness at the back of my tongue, and pushed up leaning on my knees. I threw on some clothes, ran a brush through my hair, and went to wait for Pence in the hall. He came hurrying along a couple of minutes later, apologising for the delay. "Just let me throw my clothes back in my room, and we'll get going," he said brightly. I followed him down the hall to his and Axel's room. Poking my head in while he went to drop the dirty clothing in a hamper, I could make out the lump of Axel lying in bed, a thatch of his bright red spikes the only visible part of him. I calmly bent and removed my shoe, then threw it at him, hard. There was a muffled bleat, followed by a string of cursing, as the mass on the bed shifted and tried to rise.

"Hey, Pence, pass me my shoe?"

He did so, with a grin, evidently unaware of the occasion, but more than happy to enjoy it.

"What the fucking fuck?" Axel had got tangled in his sheets, his voice stifled by them.

"That's for being a jerk when I was on the phone to Sora," I called helpfully.

"You fucking bitch, Riku, I can't move."

"Sweet dreams," Pence laughed, closing the door behind us. I felt cheered. For the following three minutes, I even thought I could end up okay by tonight.

Then we stepped outside.

I bent over, clutching my face as a burst of pain ripped through it. The sun was agony through my eyes.

"Whoa, Riku?"

I was panting. I lowered one hand to grip my knee. "S'okay," I grunted through clenched teeth. "Just a headache." I straightened slowly, cautiously opening my eyes. It wasn't so bad this time, but the light, it felt like it was piercing straight through to my brain.

"Boy, that's like a migraine," Pence yapped. "My mom gets them sometimes. Throwing up, bad headache, sensitivity to light – you need to rest up, seriously, Riku."

"I'm fine," I gritted, wiping the film of sweat from my upper lip. "I'll get some pain killers from Kairi. It's not a big deal." Why was it always Pence who had to be around at these moments? I was starting to dislike the boy simply for always being so concerned. But I didn't want it, didn't need it. I just wanted to be left alone.

We made it to the cafeteria without further incident, but by that stage, I was far from hungry. The thought of any food at all made me sick to my stomach. Figuring I could do with the vitamins, I got a little bottle of breakfast juice and a straw, and carried them over to where Selphie, Tidus and Wakka were sitting. It had been a while since it was just us Islanders sitting together. I appreciated the peace that came with it, the quiet that existed between people who had known each other forever. When Pence joined us, it just wasn't the same.

I pulled the wrapper off my straw and lethargically drank my juice, wincing every now and then at the loud noises of the breakfast crowd, the clatter of dishes and trays. I was beginning to realise I should've got something without citrus; the acid was burning my stomach.

The world dimmed a little, around the edges. A couple of times, I was aware of people addressing me, but when I stared blankly at a spot on the table without responding, they left me alone. Pence shot me some worried glances. When Olette asked him what was wrong, he smiled and started talking about ice skating.

Why was he talking about ice skating?

I felt sick. The smells of cooking laced the air permanently, no reprieve, flesh and frying and toasted bread and the sweetness of syrup. My face sank into my hand as I struggled to control the contents of my already emptied gut. Bitter saliva flooded my mouth periodically, forcing me to swallow thickly.

"..iku?"

"I don't feel so good," I muttered. I stood abruptly, hitting the table with my thighs hard enough to send everything jumping. "I'm gonna go see Kairi."

The room swam disconcertingly, my head feeling like it could just about float away from its perch on my shoulders. I staggered a little as I walked away, ignoring the amalgamation of noise that sounded vaguely like someone calling after me. I exited into the sunshine, hissed as it dug through my skull, hands leaping up to shield my eyes. My forehead, in direct contrast to the light-headedness, felt like a block of concrete, dragging me forward.

I stomped across the campus, heading vaguely towards where I knew – I mean, thought… I – I was trying to find Kairi. Kairi, she… She had the painkillers. She had some in her purse. I needed to… Kairi…

Gotta find Kairi.

Halfway there, I found myself stopped. I couldn't figure out why, for the longest amount of time, until I became aware of the deep voice drifting through my ears. Fuckerrrrrr, my mind pinpointed in a slur.

I unglued my eyes, which had at some point slid closed. "Sephiroth?"

He was close to me, intense gaze boring into mine, startling me momentarily out of my daze. I slapped his hand off my shoulder, bewildered.

"I asked if you were okay," he repeated.

"I'm fine," I snapped. "I have a headache. I'm just going to see my friend to get some pain killers."

"Your friend lives in the music department?"

"What? No, she's in a dorm."

"Female dorms are the other way, Utada."

"Huh?" I twisted on the spot, glancing around in confusion. "Oh, I – I didn't mean to end up here…"

Sephiroth was eyeing me with an unreadable expression. "I suggest you turn around then. I'm sure your friend can help you."

I was heating up, finding it harder to concentrate on the exchange. "Oh, right, yeah…"

"Utada, your nose is bleeding."

"Aw, fuck." Again, I was snapped back into full consciousness, with enough of my mind alert this time to realise I was a lot sicker than I'd thought. I must have caught something. Or maybe it was a migraine. I remembered someone once telling me about migraines their mother suffered… maybe it was Selphie? I don't think Senna ever suffers them…

I swiped at my nose, trailing a line of shimmering blood along my forearm. Sephiroth was gone. I didn't remember him leaving. I had to find Kairi. She'd be able to help me out.

But my nose kept bleeding. It was streaming down my lips, over my chin, dripping onto my shirt and the grass as I walked, one shaky step after another. Every time I tried to wipe it away, I only ended up smearing it further…

…I somehow ended up curled against the side of a building, I don't know which one. There was ivy tickling my ears, tangling in my hair. My fingers cupped my nose, blood leaking through them and down my arms. It was everywhere. I was whimpering, curling further and further into myself, spots erupting in front of my eyes and stomach twisting as my body prepared to give up and send me back to sleep.

Cool hands touched me, pressing against my face. A soft voice murmured, then something wet was pouring over me, icy cold. I sat up sharply, gasping, eyes flying open.

Cloud was crouched in front of me, the last of his chilled water emptying from the bottle poised over my head. His clear blue eyes showed concern.

"Cloud," I gasped, hair pasted to my face, "what…?"

"It's okay, Riku. You're sick. I'm going to get you some help, all right?"

He pulled me to my feet, wrapping a firm, gentle arm around my shoulders. He had his cell phone out, punching in some numbers. "Leon, I need your car, it's an emergency. Bring your keys to the parking lot, now." He hung up, slipping the phone away and steering me towards the faculty parking. We got there before Leon. Cloud took me to a beat-up brown station wagon, leaning me against the side of the car, reaching up again to feel my head. "You're cooling down a little," he muttered. He peered through the window. "There's a blanket in there. You can use it on your nose."

"I'm not doing drugs," I murmured. He shot me a half-smile.

"It's okay, I know." He helped me lean over, so the blood wouldn't run down my throat. Rivulets of water traced shivery trails down my torso.

Leon arrived at a jog, slowing sharply upon seeing me. He darted a glance at Cloud, tossing him the keys.

"What happened?"

"He's sick. I have to take him to the hospital."

I came out of my stupor, blinking quickly. "What? No! I'm just stressed! I have a date with Sora tonight, you can't take me there, they'll never let me go!"

Cloud turned to me, saying, "I don't care if you're getting married tonight, get in the damn death trap."

"Hey." Leon was mildly offended.

Cloud wrenched open the passenger door and tucked me, arguing but physically weak, into the car. I fumed helplessly, dripping. I was feeling a little better now. The cold water had brought me to my senses and cooled me off. My headache had receded slightly. Cloud climbed into the driver's side, pausing to twist around into the back seat and yank a picnic blanket out from under the bottom of it. I looked at it blankly. I had a sudden image of Leon with a picnic basket, sitting on a hill in the sun. It was… bizarre. Cloud shoved the blanket into my arms, saying, "I know this car's a piece of crap, but Leon loves it, so try not to bleed over the seats or anything." He started up the engine while I grudgingly pressed the dusty cloth against my face.

It was hot in the car, the smell of leather invading every inch. Cloud cranked down his window as we pulled out of the lot, but I leaned against mine, tiredly closing my eyes.

"Cloud, can it please not be the hospital?" I asked. "Make it the doctor, I'll see a vet if you want me to, but I don't want to go back to hospital."

He glanced over, changing gears. "What makes you think they won't let you go?"

"They'll find out about what happened to me on Destiny Island, and they'll keep me for tests. They'll think this is connected to it."

"And what if it is?"

"It's not!" I pulled away from the blanket, opening my eyes to look at him. "Before I came here, I was seeing a child-psychologist, to deal with the stuff that happened and the memories. He's the one that said this was a stress thing. I get blood noses when I get worked up, and I've got a date with Sora tonight, so I'm seriously fucking worked up!"

"So, all this is because of pre-date jitters?" he asked slowly. I nodded frantically, then clamped the blanket against my nose as strings of blood came out.

"Yes!"

"Riku… You didn't see yourself out there. You looked sick. Sephiroth told me you looked sick, and he was right."

"Sephiroth?"

"And you still don't look well, even if you're looking better," he persisted. "I'm not happy about you going anywhere tonight. But… " He sighed, slowing as we entered Twilight Town itself. "If you want, I can take you to a doctor. I understand not liking hospitals. But if the doctor refers you on, I'm not going to stop him."

"Fine," I said quickly. "Okay."

"I want you to rethink this date, though. It's not a good idea."

I groaned. "Cloud, you don't understand. I have to go. I can't cancel this. I – I really don't want to."

He looked over. "You really like that kid, huh?"

I was quiet. "It's more than that," I said.

"More?"

I didn't reply. He shrugged. It didn't take long to reach the doctor's office. We pulled in, and Cloud shut off the engine. "Come on. Bring the blanket."

I kicked open my door and climbed out, savouring the fresh air. Sweat itched my face where the rough material was pressed. We entered the surgery, and got an appointment for twenty minutes from now, the slot of a recent cancellation. I sat slouched in the air-conditioned waiting room, nursing a dicky cup of water, while Cloud flipped through a magazine with disinterest.

The doctor, when we got in there, listened intently to both Cloud and myself, before inspecting my nose, which had long since stopped bleeding but was crusty and gross. He then listened to my heart and chest, and tested the dilation of my pupils. He cleaned my face and neck with brisk, efficient strokes, using several alcohol-soaked cotton balls, filling a tray with them. My shirt was dark, so you couldn't really see the marks there.

"I can't find anything wrong," he admitted at last. "You seem healthy enough, aside from your symptoms." Yeah, well, that's not saying much. "I'd say that you've suffered a very severe migraine, plus the blood nose, from excessive stress. I can prescribe you some painkillers for the headache, but what I'd really like is for you to get a proper mental evaluation so that something can be done about this problem."

I bristled. "I'm not crazy, damn it."

He patted my leg with condescending reassurance. "It's not about whether or not you're crazy, Riku. The fact is, if we can determine that you are medically incapable of dealing with certain levels of disruption in day-to-day life, we can prescribe a drug best suited to helping you. In time, with the chemical assistance, you should be able to function by yourself again."

I was nearly apoplectic. "I'm not fucking crazy, and I don't need fucking drugs!"

"Riku, calm down," Cloud said sharply. He turned to the doctor. "Thank you for your advice, I'll be sure to contact the boy's guardian and let him know. He's already seeing a child-psychologist, and I'm sure that if there appears to be a problem, it will be swiftly taken care of." He stood, tugging me along with him. He snatched up the script and handed it to me. Cloud signed a form at the administration desk, charging the appointment to the Academy, then yanked me out of the surgery.

"You know, for someone who an hour ago looked like he was bleeding to death against the science and facilities block, you sure have a lot of fight," he growled. I pulled free and stalked ahead to the car, waiting impatiently for him to unlock it. "Hey, princess, we still need to get your prescription filled."

"I don't want it," I snapped. "I don't need anything from that poisoner."

"Riku, stop being a goddamn baby. They're painkillers, not anti-depressants. Nothing wrong with needing an upper when you're down, anyway. I take them, and it helps."

"I don't… I don't care about that side of things. I know that they're good for some people, but… I don't want them. I just need…" Sora. Sora makes it all feel better.

"What you need is to relax." He came to lean beside to me, studying me. "Let me get this filled, okay? Then we'll go grab a drink somewhere so you can take the pills without anyone asking questions, and then we'll head back to the Academy and you can rest until the big date, which by the way, I am still opposed to."

"I'm not going to cancel," I grumbled.

"Not even if Sora wants you to?"

My head shot up. "What's that supposed to mean?" I demanded.

"It means," he said calmly, "that if Sora cares about you, which I'm inclined to believe, he probably doesn't want you half-killing yourself over a date."

"It's going to happen anyway," I argued. "We could schedule it for a year from now, and I'd probably be even sicker. If I do it tonight and get it over with, it won't be so bad next time."

Cloud rolled his eyes. "Now there's an attitude to go into a date with: the 'in-and-out' approach. I'm sure Sora will feel treasured."

"Shut up," I sulked.

It turns out his idea was a good one. We filled the damn script and went to a smoothie place, where I ordered a slushie and Cloud got a strawberry yoghurt smoothie. We sat at one of the small tables littering the pavement, and I swallowed two of the pills without getting brain-freeze. I was feeling better already anyway, but after about twenty minutes, I noticed the headache clearing slightly, as well as various other aches and pains I hadn't been aware of under the shadow of the greater one. At last, drumming my fingers against the tabletop, I muttered, "Thanks, Cloud."

He smirked. "Wow, that hurt, didn't it?"

We walked back to the car, lovingly referred to as the death trap, and got back in. I shoved the picnic blanket under my seat.

"Should I clean that?" I wondered.

"With what, a bucket of water and a scrubbing brush? You monsters send your laundry out, remember? Forget it. Leon'll survive."

We drove back to school, the car again stifling hot. This time, the smell of leather was even stronger, without the blood to distract me. I didn't know how Leon lived with it, and Cloud didn't seem bothered either.

We pulled into the parking lot, and Cloud pulled out the keys. We sat for a moment in the silence, listening to the cooling tick of the engine.

"There's nothing I can say to change your mind, is there?"

I shook my head. "Not a chance. This is Sora. I – I won't let him down."

Cloud was watching me curiously. "There's something up in that head of yours," he murmured. "And I don't mean craziness. Why do you want to give so much to someone you barely know?"

"You think I barely know him?" I sighed, closing my eyes, leaning back against the head-rest. "I can't explain it to you," I said simply. "And besides, you wouldn't believe me if I tried."

"It's far out there, huh?"

"Yeah," I said softly.

"I know a few things about 'far out there'. I might just surprise you."

I laughed softly. He had no idea. I wondered what his reaction would be if I told him about Kingdom Hearts, and his involvement in things – if I told him I already knew all about him… a version of him, at any rate. Because, after all, I was sitting in a car with never-Cloud.

"Get some rest, Riku. If you feel bad tonight, please reconsider. And, if not, well – " He shrugged, pushing open his door. "Good-luck on your date."

-------

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Demyx was falling asleep. It had been a long day, and the blond was exhausted. He was on the bed, his head in Zexion's lap, drifting.

"I wonder how they found out," Zexion mused.

"Phone call," Demyx murmured. "Someone… someone found him…"

"Who?"

Demyx was asleep.