How do women wear this crap?!

~Isabella~

I quickly walked through the crowd toward his perfume shop I saw when heading to the bathroom a few minutes earlier. Although at one point I had to sneak passed a store as Alice and Rosalie were in there looking through the clothes. Jasper and Emmett were as well, but they hadn't been facing toward me like the girls were. Fortunately none of them noticed me, but unfortunately the store they were in was right next to the perfume store. Just my luck. I thought as I entered the perfume shop, trying to not scrunch up my nose at the overwhelming smell that filled the entire store.

As soon as I entered the store, pretty much all the women who were in the store looked over at me and many of the younger ones started checking me out. I even saw one of the women pull down her shirt, so she showed more cleavage, and another pull up her already pencil thin skirt. Fortunately she was wearing underwear, even if it was a thong, or I would have been flashed something I NEVER want to see. In case you've forgotten...I'm gay as in I DON'T want to see a woman's privates.

Anyway, I forced a smile onto my face and walked over to one of the clerks. One of the older ones, she looked to be in her fifties, and she turned to me smiling like a grandmother would to her grandchildren instead of the flirty smiles I was getting from the other clerks. One of them had to be in her thirties. Creepy. "How, may I help you, Deary?" She asked looking up at me as I'm taller than her.

"My...girlfriend's...birthday to coming up and she told me she wanted perfume. She loves her perfume and wanted a very strong smelling one. What are your strongest smelling ones?" I asked, having to force out the word girlfriend without grimacing.

"Just give me one second." She said before turning around and walking toward the counter that held dozens of bottles of perfume in it. I watched as she started shifting through the perfume bottles, all the while trying to not listen to the women gossiping with each other. Although it was pretty impossible with my hearing, so I could hear everything they were saying. Most of it revolved around how hot I was or cursing out my nonexistent girlfriend. A few of them even talked about trying to flirt with me and other, much more, vulgar things. After about two minutes, she had gathered all ten of the bottles she had been searching for and motioned me over. "What scent does your girlfriend like most?" She asked when I stopped in front of her, but on the other side of the counter.

"Um...I can't quite remember." I said looking over them as I tried to see if I could tell which one would work best for blocking my scent to Uncle Victor. "Can I smell them all?" I asked after realizing that would be the only way I could be sure.

"Of course, Deary." She said and picked up one of the bottles. "This one is cherry." She opened the top and held it and I leaned down and took a big whiff. I shook my head, knowing that wouldn't be nearly strong enough. "Let's try this one...it's ocean breeze with a hint of mint." She opened the bottle, after closing the other one, and I again took a big whiff of the scent. But again I could tell it wasn't strong enough. This went on through the others until we got to the very last, which I really hoped would work because I can't think of anything else that could block my scent to him. "This one is lavender and cherry blossoms." She said opening it and holding it up to me. I leaned down, taking a big whiff of it, and had to stop myself from gagging at the sheer strength of the scent. I leaned back and took another breath, smiling slightly when I realized I couldn't smell anything, but the perfume, not even the other perfumes in the shop, and looked at the woman smiling brightly.

"She'll love it." I said struggling not to smirk as I knew that Uncle Victor wouldn't be able to find me with this scent. Especially after I poured it all over his clothes. "How much is it?"

"$49.95." She said closing the bottle and began putting the others away. "Are you sure you want this one?"

"Of course, the price isn't a problem." I said pulling out my wallet from my back pocket and handing her my debt card.

"Alright." She said grabbing both my debt card and the bottle of perfume, which I just realized was shaped like an hourglass. She then led me over to cash register and after paying for it, she handed me a small bag that held the perfume and gave me back my debt card. "Come again any time." She said smiling to me as I walked out of the store. Yeah that's not going to happen, I thought I was going to throw up with all those scents mixed together. I thought as I pulled the perfume bottle out of the bag and tossed the bag into a near by trash can.

I, once again, snuck passed the store that Alice and the others were still in and rushed back to the bathroom hoping that Uncle Victor hasn't woken back up yet. When I walked into the bathroom I heard sound coming from the stall where I left him and swore when I realized he was waking up. I quickly, but quietly, walked over to the stall and slowly pushed it open so in case he was awake enough, he hopefully wouldn't notice me. Fortunately he was still pretty out of it and had yet to open his eyes. Unfortunately he opened his eyes, just as I closed the stall door. Thinking quickly I punched in his temple and he slumped back down once again unconscious. "Sorry, Uncle Victor." I whispered wincing as he hit it, already injured head, on the side of the toilet.

Shaking my head I took the lid off the perfume and, after pinching my nose shut, I began pouring it all over his shirt, trench coat and pants. I considered pouring it on his face as well, but decided against it knowing this would be enough. Plus the scent of this perfume blocked all other scents to me after just sniffing it in the bottle and my senses are a bit stronger than his. Just not by much. It only took about ten seconds for me to empty the bottle onto his clothes and after I was finished, I put the perfume lid back on and tossed it in the trash in the stall before locking the stall and shifting into a fly so I could quickly leave, mainly so I wouldn't have to let my nose go and have the perfume's scent overwhelm my sense of smell.

Once I was out of the stall I shifted back, of course after making sure no one was in the bathroom with me and quickly exited the bathroom before letting go of my nose. Although I could still faintly smell the perfume from inside the bathroom. "BELLA!" I heard Alice yell and looked to the left of the door to the bathroom. Crap. I thought as I saw a VERY mad Alice stomping her way over to me. Rosalie, Jasper and Emmett all looked both amused, and glad they weren't the ones on the receiving end of her anger.

"Hey, Alice." I said smiling nervously when she stopped in front of me and man did she looked pissed.

"Don't you 'Hey, Alice' me!" She growled jabbing my chest with her nail. Fortunately she didn't do it too hard or I would've bled, which means I would've healed and then they were know, part of, my secret. Seeing as they are vampires and they would smell my blood. Honestly I'm kind of surprised they didn't smell the blood in the bathroom that was both mine and Uncle Victor's, but that might be because of the whole bottle of perfume I poured on him. And that bottle was about eight ounces of 'Oh my god I'm going to throw up from the scent of this stuff.' "Bella!" Alice exclaimed, somewhat loudly, shocking me out of my thoughts.

"What?" I asked looking down at her with a raised eyebrow.

"Were you listening to a thing I said?" She asked angrily while Rosalie smirked and Jasper and Emmett looked amused.

"Well I heard you say 'Don't you "Hey, Alice" me!' and...after that nothing." I said chuckling at her annoyed expression.

"Come on." She said grabbing my wrist before dragging me passed the others.

"Where are we going?" I asked fearing the answer.

"You were gone for thirty minutes so now you are going to make that time up?"

"Do I want to know how?"

"Not really." She giggled as she dragged me into this VERY preppy looking store. Kill me now. I thought as she dragged me toward the men's section.