A/N: "Maybe you could show me how to try..."
DISCLAIMER: Dick Wolf owns the characters and base storyline, but narrative and dialogue belong to me, please and thank you.
"You sure you're okay?" Cragen eyed Olivia with worry etched on his face. He tilted his head as he took a step toward her, staring at the bruise darkening her cheek.
Olivia nodded with a dismissive smile. "Didn't even hurt," she said with crossed arms, leaning against the glass in the pit, staring through the window at Elliot. He was angry, his sleeves rolled up past his elbows, his fists balled and jaw clenched as he cursed and yelled at Brian Cassidy. Her eyes shot to Tucker, who was leaning against the far wall watching, amused. "I just..this...none of this makes sense."
Cragen sighed. "It was a bad call, but he didn't have a choice," he explained. "You hear him, in there, he was being watched, knowing if he didn't do as they told him…"
"Captain," Olivia cut in with narrow eyes. "That's not an excuse, there are ways...when you're in that situation…" she shook her head. "He is sitting in there, talking his way out of a rape, making excuses for standing by and watching as Criterro forced that girl into submission, to the point where she was literally choking on his penis. He knew she was dying! He fucking killed her, in cold blood and Cassidy did nothing!"
"Calm down," Cragen whispered, shocked at her outburst, reaching for her arms. He was more worried now, watching her yell fiercely, tears running down her face from open, unblinking eyes, and he was certain she didn't even realize they'd fallen. "He made the choices he needed to make to come out alive."
"And when he got that badge, he understood that he would have to sacrifice himself to save someone else," she intoned, her voice dark and serious. "It's something we all fucking understand, something we accept!" She swallowed hard. "I know, you've even said it, that Elliot would have never even been offered this assignment, because he has kids, a family that needs him. You told me that Cassidy was let in on this because he had nothing to lose, no one that would be left behind, so even you knew that this could cost him his life! He knew that! He understood that! He should have done his job, that girl was only seventeen years old! She was a child!"
Cragen caught her wide, red eyes, shaking his head. "I didn't...what?" He took a shaking breath. "Does Elliot know that? Why didn't I know that?"
She licked her lips and shook her head. "Elliot knows, why do you think he's giving Cassidy the full Stabler experience," she jutted her chin toward the glass. She sniffled and swatted the offensive tears that fell from her eyes. "I don't think he's being honest, here, because if this was just...self preservation," she scoffed, "Then he wouldn't have fucking hit me and raised his gun at Elliot." She shot Cragen a look. "He had his gun, the whole time. Didn't know that, either, did you?"
Cragen narrowed his eyes, growing angry, and he stormed into the interrogation room to join Elliot and Tucker, unaware that as he walked in, Olivia walked out.
It was well past three in the morning when the front door opened, snapping Olivia's head up. She slowly sat up, eyeing him as he walked into the living room. "Oh, God," she breathed, standing fast. "What happened?" She stared at his hunched over figure, the wrinkled mess his suit had become, the exhaustion seeping out of every muscle.
He tried to steady his breathing, his closed eyelids twitching, and without warning, without any sort of indication, his body turned, his arm swung hard and fast, and the wall behind him now had a nice, round cubby hole in it. "Son of a bitch," he growled, pulling his fist out of the crater, letting chipped paint and plaster crumble and fall to the carpet at his feet.
"Jesus, Elliot!" she hissed sharply, moving fast to his side. She rested both hands on his shoulders and turned him to face her, staring into his pained and contorted face. "The kids are asleep upstairs, so is Julie! Calm down! You swore to me, this side of you doesn't come home, ever!"
He nodded, licking his lips, draping his arms over her and holding her in apologetic silence. "I'm sorry, so fucking sorry, I just...I needed to hit something, and I couldn't…" he sniffled. "With Tucker and Cragen in that room, I couldn't hit Cassidy."
Her hands smoothed over his back, calming him. "What happened?"
He pushed her back for a moment, looking into her eyes, and then at her face. One of his hands grazed the left side, across her cheek, and he winced at the purpling skin beneath his touch. "I'm so sorry," he whispered, his lips and voice trembling.
"Baby," she whispered, moving closer to him, "Talk to me, what the hell happened."
After licking his lips again, he took a deep breath, exhaled slowly, and held her gaze. "The bastard was in on it," he seethed, "The whole time. Crittero and his goons went after his sister because he was the one who fucking owed them money, she was not…" he shook his head. To save his sister, he got himself pinched, knowing the only way out would be to volunteer for this fucking sting op, but the whole fucking time he...he played us. He was the inside man, not the double agent."
Olivia paled, her jaw dropped and one hand fell away from his body to pull anxiously at the straps of her pajama tank. "He confessed? He told you all of…"
"You know me," he interrupted with another sniffle, "I'm, uh, very persuasive, yeah?" His hands trailed from her shoulders, down her arms, around her waist, until they palmed her ass and pulled her closer. "I would have gotten him to talk sooner, but, ya know, Eddie wouldn't let me beat it out of him."
She gave a small laugh as one hand flew up to cup his cheek. "There's the Elliot Stabler that lives here," she said softly, her thumb running along the skin under his right eye. "Welcome home."
He dropped his head to hers and took another slow, deep breath. "We worked with him, we...well, I mean, we never really trusted him, but…" he inhaled, breathing her in, and he brushed his nose against hers. "Cragen told me you had some kind of meltdown about this. What...why did this get to you, honey? We see shit like this more often than…"
"He took an oath," she interrupted. "We all did. Elliot, when Chief Muldrew handed me my shield, I knew that...there was a chance I would have to make sacrifices. For somebody's child, someone's grandmother...my partner." She moved and pressed her lips to his quickly. "I'm ready, I've always been ready, and now, more than ever, I am prepared to lay my life on the line for you, for our kids, for someone who...who needs me to save them. I mean, I will not go down without a fight, but it's something a good fucking cop just...does."
"He wasn't a good cop," he told her, kissing her softly, his hands rubbing the rounds of her ass. "He was one of the monsters, baby." He looked into her eyes. "And you...you will never be in a position that you can't get your way out of, I will be by your side, always. Baby, we will always protect each other, and any innocent lives we are bound to defend, and we will always...always...come out alive." He kissed her, more passionately this time, deeper, and he rocked forward as he clutched her ass tighter, making sure she could feel his hardness against her heat.
She moaned, then, realizing that this was how he needed to release the tension, let go of his fury, and reassure both her and himself that they were nothing like Cassidy and there were certain sacrifices they would never really have to make. She gasped against his lips, her fingers hooking into his back, as he bucked into her again, driving the point home even more.
He moved forward, his body lumbering forward, attached to hers, pushing her into the wall. One hand moved from her ass to her waist and began to shove down the flannel pants, and it worked its way into them. Two thick, rough fingers slipped between her swelling folds, causing another delicious sound to spill out of her mouth and into his. Spurred on, he twisted his wrist and eased those fingers into her hot entrance, crooking them in a slow, hard rhythm.
"Elliot," she panted, his ministrations hitting perfect chords and strumming all the right strings to make her body sing. Her nails dug deeper into him, her hips thrust at the same pace as his fingers.
"Fuck," he breathed hotly against her neck as he pressed harder into her, "You are so fucking wet, so tight." He licked a long line from the top of her shoulder to just behind her ear, and he sucked her lobe into his mouth. "Cum for me," he commanded, turning his wrist, flicking and thrusting his fingers. He panted into her ear, the heat causing more chills and shivers to course through her.
Her head fell back against the wall, her lips parted slightly as she trembled, giving him what he wanted. "Oh, God," she whispered, and as she whimpered the end of her release, she felt him sliding down her pants further.
One of his arms hooked around her right leg, he lifted it up and pressed his palm against the wall, his lips still nipping at her ear.
Her eyes darted downward and she moaned again at the sight of him stroking himself, and she briefly wondered when he dropped trau. Her thoughts were snapped in half when he moved his left hand to her mouth and pressed hard, preparing to muffle her scream. He dragged his lips to her neck, and bit hard at the same time he bucked forward, impaling her fully, chuckling against her skin as he felt the reverb of her cry in his palm.
Her closed eyes watered as she sank low, draping over him, allowing his body to keep her up against the wall, her resolve giving way to full submission. She gave another stifled cry, rolling her hips against him to meet his eager thrusts, something powerfully different about the way he loved her at this moment.
He released her neck with a wet pop, grinning at the reddish mark left in its wake, nodding proudly at his work, and he gripped her chin with the hand around her mouth, turning her head roughly to look at him.
She opened her still-watering eyes, looked deeply into his, marvelling at the dark, almost navy color they'd turned. She moaned something into his hand and then licked at his palm, bit at his fingers, trying to tell him what she wanted, what she needed.
He moved his hand and replaced it with his mouth, kissing her roughly. His tongue invaded her mouth, swirling with hers, swiping along her teeth, journeying almost down her throat, as if trying to reach her soul with his kiss. He moaned, groaned, grunted as his hips kept a punishing pace. His skin hit hers with every buck, slapping against her hard, as he gave her everything he had, every single inch of him pushing in and sliding out, over and over again, until he felt that she well and thoroughly claimed. He garbled something into their deep, fiery kiss.
She must have understood him because she made the same exact jibbered sound right back into his mouth, still trying to meet him blow for eager blow. She pulled her mouth away from his, needing to breathe, needing to look at him. Her eyes opened as she panted heavily, her head fell forward against his. "I love you," she whispered, "Fuck, I love you."
"Oh, shit," he panted, holding her gaze steadily, "I love you, too, baby. So...so fucking much." He moved harder, deeper, though he didn't think it possible, slamming into her hard. His eyes stayed open and on hers, his forehead beginning to drip with sweat, mixing with her own perspiration as their heads nuzzled. "Oh, my God," he growled softly, feeling the familiar tightening of his balls, the burn beginning low in his groin. "Oh, fuck, baby," he said a bit louder, his eyes widening slightly.
It amazed her how something so expected and anticipated could take them by surprise, as she, too, gasped in pure pleasure as the start of her intense climax ignited in her belly. "Oh, my God," she breathed, unable to blink, unwilling to look away from him. She loved to watch him, as he watched her, the love and desire, lust and trust and faith...that shot from her eyes to his, every single time he watched her like this, watched her cum. She bit her lip as her muscles tightened and clamped, and a glorious ache sank deeply into her thighs.
"Baby," he grunted, finding resistance now, pressure and tension making his journey in and out of her a hard one to complete. He worked through, somehow, the beautiful friction it caused making both of them cry each other's names softly. "Fuck, baby, oh, fuck," he puffed, and he saw the flicker in her eyes that told him to get ready for her explosion. "Yes, baby, yes," he cooed, eager now, excited as he struggled to keep pistoning. He let out a thrilled and victorious grunt as he felt her clench even harder, looking right into her dilating pupils as her jaw dropped and her nails broke the skin on his shoulder blades. "Fucking, yes, fuck," he panted.
She shook and quaked, trying to roll against him, suck him deeper into her, keep him there as he wracked her body with the most incredible pulsing tension. She moaned, her open eyes watching his roll back, as hot wetness trailed down her thighs.
"Fuck, I love that," he huffed, thrusting into her one final time before stilling, so deeply inside of her, still bucking forward, making sure his body rubbed against her clit and gave her a tremendous aftershock. He jerked and let out soft, rhythmic grunts as he came, hot and more powerful than he'd imagined. He stayed, his ass clenching as he gave shorter, shallower thrusts, making them both moan weakly. He didn't want it to end, he couldn't bring himself to stop. "Oh, my God, baby," he panted as his words trembled.
Slowly, he lowered her leg, leaned forward to sandwich her between his body ann the wall, and kissed her, a long and deep kiss.
"Elliot," she quivered, her hands slipping down and out from under his shirt and jacket, resting on his bare ass. She caressed it, her fingertips drawing spiraling circles on his skin. She chuckled as he twitched at her touch, and she whispered, "I love you."
He smiled at her, seeing her own warm and satisfied, loving grin, and he kissed her as he whispered, "I fucking love you, baby."
They calmed each other with another languid kiss, and he was about to move to lift her up, hoping to carry her into bed, but his phone rang, breaking them apart. He gave her a questioning glance, knowing that Cragen wouldn't call him in so soon after being let go. He pulled out of her with a begrudging hiss and bent down to fish his phone out of his pants pocket. He pulled them back up and let them hang unzipped on his hips as he answered the call.
"Stabler," he said, reaching low for Olivia's pants. He pulled them up her body, laying soft kisses along her right leg as he listened to his caller. "Who is this?" he asked in a lilt. He kissed the end of her nose, as he smirked. "Oh, hi. Well, uh, yeah, you...you are bothering me, it's four-thirty in the morning." He leaned toward Olivia, swiped his tongue across her lips, and kissed her, moaning, unconcerned with the person on the phone hearing. "Hmm? No, no, I was just kissing...you don't know her, no," he laughed.
Olivia raised a brow and mouthed, "Who is that?"
Elliot, rolling his eyes, mouthed back to her, "Jeffries," and then grabbed her hand. He pulled her into their bedroom and gave her a fast, playful shove onto the mattress. He pulled off his sweat-soaked shirt and suit jacket with one hand as he held the phone with the other. "You want to what with me? No, that's okay, really. I have no desire to…" he scoffed. "Because I already went to that seminar. Why are you even calling me at…" he laughed again, out of disbelieving annoyance. "No, you can't come here, I already told you, I've got a girlfriend, and she is...what? No! No, you can't join in...watch? Are you out of your mind?" Having had enough, he hung up and tossed his phone onto the nightstand, as he wiggled his hips to let his pants fall. He gathered his clothes and tossed them into the hamper, then turned to look at Olivia. "She has balls," he spat, and he crawled over her, his naked body enveloping hers.
She laughed, running her hands up and down his back, and she closed her eyes, letting him pull her clothes off of her, completely this time. "She wanted to watch?"
"Yeah, only after I told her she couldn't join us," he stated, tossing her pajamas like a basketball into the hamper. He looped an arm around her as he worked their snuggled bodies under the covers and he draped her over him as he wrapped the quilt around them. "I, uh, I think I lied to her, though."
"You certainly did not," Olivia snapped, glaring at him. "No way in hell is she…"
"I told her I was with my girlfriend," he interrupted, smiling at her confusion and kissing her softly. "I should have told her...I was with my fiancée." He laughed again, this time in response to her wide-eyed, stunned, smile. He kissed her lips, and then her forehead, and then he pulled her down to his chest. "Goodnight, baby," he whispered, feeling her pounding heart beat down against his chest, and as it slowed, he closed his eyes. He never thought he'd feel the way she made him feel, never imagined love being so intense and pure. He realized, as sleep began to take him, that he needed to try, a second time, to be a husband, hers. With that final conscious thought, he gave into dreams, knowing that, with Olivia, he wouldn't need to try at all, because he felt as though he already was, and now, he just needed to prove it.
A/N: Did he just propose? Did she take him seriously? A day with the kiddos, and answers, next.