"Of course I can, I've got my ways. How do you think I managed to create Dollars? You're not supposed to know any of this!"
Kida was about to toss away the phone and the rent be damned, he could always crash under the overpass for a while when his phone beeped to register that he had a call pending from Izaya. He put Mikado on hold and took the call.
"Did you figure out something to help me out?"
"Oh, no. Just wanted to remind you that it might be better for you to tell Mikado that you're a blushing virgin. I don't want him knocking at my door and acting up over stealing your purity or something equally silly. That would be very bad, Masaomi. Very bad indeed. So, if he does jump your bones you better hope that the thing does not transfer over to you again. It's best you just fish for info. Bye bee!"
"Orihara- damn you to hell, you just hanged up on me again!"
And indeed Izaya did it for he had a hot date ahead. Kida cursed and cursed anew, turned a corner and there was Ryuugamine Mikado in the flesh, the one and only, aka Shibari-kun.
"Mikado! Hi there! Passing by?"
"No, I traced the call and followed you here. And you were talking to Orihara Izaya, I could tell but unfortunately I could not hear the conversation. What were you talking about with him?"
Kida flailed, he was not expecting to find Mikado this abruptly but at least Mikado's Gestapo resources did not extend to actually tapping calls. Not yet, at least.
"Nothing much, we were just talking about this cool store in Shinjuku."
"I don't like you going to stores with him. And you should always do what I say, not just because I'm the boss around here but because you belong to me in a personal way."
"Eh…belong, you say…?"
Mikado nodded. Apparently he was done freaking out and quite collected.
"Yes. I have rights on you since I've known you for the longest of times and the reason why I moved to Ikebukuro in the first place is because you are my treasured property. That is why it is not at all wrong for me to use my brand new set of ropes on you, I got them just for that purpose. Six months of living on a string budget but it was worth every yen, they're the smoothest ropes you can find."
"Ah…"
Mikado smiled reassuringly.
"So don't worry. I never used them on a real person before but I read how to do it online and researched on forums. It's all very safe."
"Right…"
As loquacious as Kida was wont to be he was now completely at a loss for words. It was ironic that Izaya for all his trollish ways was not half as creepy as Mikado at his most earnest. And it was getting worse with each confession.
"I got a dummy that is just your size to train on, too. At first it was difficult to get it just right, the ropes kept digging into the dummy until it was frayed but I mastered it. I dyed a mop yellow to use as a wig for greater realism."
"Oh my god, that is, I don't even!"
Mikado blushed and scratched a cheek as his eyes darted all over the place.
"I was waiting for just the right time to tell you but odds are I'd never have the courage to do it without having to drug you first so this is perfect, in a way, that I cannot lie. Maybe it is fate? Masaomi…? Are you alright?"
Kida was not alright at all. It was with an effort that he put on a happy face and his voice nearly broke.
"Fine and dandy! Never better!"
Mikado nodded.
"This may be a surprise to you but I am sure that with time you will accept it. You do not really have much of a choice in the matter since I love you. And my love has been tested so you can trust that it is true."
"Sure…"
Mikado frowned as something unpleasant occurred to him.
"I hope that you have broken up with that girl for good."
"Saki?"
Mikado's frown deepened and to Kida's sheer horror he reached into the pocket where Kida knew the infamous ballpoint pen was kept.
"That you have to ask leads me to think that there are other girls. I will have you know that I have a detailed list of the females that hover around you."
"Do you now,"
"I don't like spying but I have to be careful in case they take advantage of you. I care, Masaomi."
It was almost touching.