A/N Three anonymous guests—I suspect it was just one coward, three times—have left vicious, filthy, inexcusable attacks on a new story, "Testament," by Hunsdon, who is an excellent longtime writer of "Castle" fan fiction. Hunsdon could have deleted those so-called reviews because they're unsigned, but didn't, which was both brave and democratic. I ask you please to show your support by leaving a comment there. If you don't like the story, that's fine, but no writer should be subjected to such vitriol.

Disclaimer: The only part of Castle that I own is the TV on which I watch the show.

Mom takes a lot of naps now. She says carrying twins around her inside all the time makes her tired. Today she said, "I'm having trouble seeing my feet."

"I see them, Mom. They look fine. Just your regular feet."

I think she means that her stomach is in the way. Oh, you know what I noticed about her stomach? Her belly button sticks out! I can't put a Cheerio in there any more the way I used to. That was a fun game.

The good part for me is that it means I get to lie down with her when she takes a nap, which is very cozy, plus if I feel like it I can talk to the babies. Today I was wanted to go to sleep but I couldn't because EB and Obi were carrying on. That's an expression that Gram likes. "Oh, my Lord, that man was carrying on!" It took me a while to figure out that she meant the man was very excited about something. I have a lot to explain to the twins, like carry on, which also means keep doing whatever you're doing and also is the kind of suitcase Dad takes when he has to go away for a few days for his books. It means it's small enough that he can carry it on to the airplane. And another thing. Yesterday Mom had the radio on especially for Obi who likes that kind of music and the woman who was talking about it at the end said, "That was Mozart's Symphony number 38 in D major with Herbert von Carry On and the Berlin Philharmonic." Isn't that funny? There is also a person with the last name Carry On! That must be confusing.

Anyway, I had a hard time going to sleep this afternoon because EB and Obi were carrying on.

"Hey, Eliot? EB and I have a question."

"Uh-oh. When you say you have a question you really mean you have about a hundred questions and I can't even count that high."

"Okay, can I ask you anyway?"

"Sure. Go ahead."

"What is this stuff on our heads?"

"Stuff?"

"Yeah, stuff coming out of our heads. It didn't used to be there and now it is."

"Oh, that's hair! You have hair on your heads now."

"Hi, Eliot, this is EB. Yeah, we both have it, but I think Obi might have more. Even though Obi's smaller than I am."

"What's hair for?"

"I dunno, Obi. I think it's just for decoration."

"What's that mean?"

"I think that means it help makes you look nice, EB. Right, Eliot?"

"Yeah. You two probably have good hair. That's what people say a lot. 'Everyone in your family has such great hair!' "

"Can I ask you a question?"

"I knew you would, EB. Okay."

"How long do we have to stay in here?"

"A while. Mom says you're going to get born in the spring and it's winter now. It's warm in spring and it's cold now."

"Not in here. It's warm in here. Why can't we leave now?"

"Mom says you have to get bigger before you can come out."

"We're already bigger. EB is huge. Wait 'til you see!"

"She told me that you're not done yet. She said 'They're still cooking.' Isn't that funny?"

"We're cooking! What? No! Is somebody going to eat us? That's not funny."

"It's just an expression, EB. Nobody is going to eat you. One time when I was really little Gram said, 'Oh, I could just eat you right up' and I was so scared I started to scream and then I found out it was just an expression that she loved me. There are a lot of expressions that sound like they mean one thing but they really mean something else. You'll find out when you're born."

"How are we supposed to decide which it is?"

"You can ask me, Obi. I know a lot of stuff, but not as much as Mom and Dad. Listen, I want to take a nap now. You can ask me more questions another time. Wait, I forgot. I brought Peter Rabbit and I'm putting him on Mom's belly for you. He might slide off though."

"He feels soft like my hair."

"I know. Oh, before I go to sleep, that reminds me. A rabbit looks a whole lot like an animal called a hare, which sounds like hair on your head. See what I mean? There are a lot of confusing things out here. Okay, I have to go. Bye, you guys."

Boy, I can see why the babies make Mom tired. They do it to me, too, and all I'm doing is talking to them sometimes, not carrying them around all day.

After Mom and I got up from our nap it was time for me to get my diaper changed and then it was time for all of us to have a snack. Mom drinks milk now for a snack, because the twins need it to grow, so she and Dad and I have milk and cookies in the afternoon. Scrapple wants ours but he is not allowed to have chocolate because it makes dogs very sick, but he does get to eat a biscuit. I ate one while Dad wasn't looking the other day and it was horrible. No wonder Scrapple looks at my cookie that way.

While Dad was getting our snack ready Mom went to the big closet in the hall and came back with a shopping bag which she left by the table. While we were all having milk and cookies (except Scrapple), Mom made a big announcement. That's exactly what she said. "I have a big announcement."

Dad wasn't paying his whole attention because he dunked his cookie too long and it fell into the bottom of his glass and he was trying to get it out.

"Castle!"

"Hmm?"

"I said, 'I have a big announcement to make'."

Dad scrunched up his face. "Well, I know you're not announcing that you're pregnant because you told me that ages ago."

Mom laughed, but she also swatted him with her paper napkin. "No. My big announcement is that it's time to start potty training Eliot. Today is a good day to begin. If he can stand up while I change his diaper, lift up one leg and then the other, then he can learn to use the potty. Preferably before we get two more characters in the house who will be using a hundred diapers a day."

"We have to buy a potty first."

"I'm way ahead of you, bud." She picked up the shopping bag and put it on the table. "In anticipation of this great event, I ordered a potty as well as two books." She reached in the bag and pulled them out. "My Big Boy Potty and Everyone Poops, which we will doubtless spend many happy hours reading." Then she took out the box that was in the bag. "Eliot, this is your very own potty, which we'll put in the bathroom. In fact, I bought two, so we can have one in our bathroom and another one in yours."

"Gfdthgmg."

"Excuse me, Castle? Would you like to swallow before speaking?"

"Um, I said, good thinking. You know, getting two potties. It'll be useful a couple of years from now, too, when the twins will need them."

"Yeah, well right now I'm just focussing on getting one to use it." Mom pushed my hair off my forehead. "What do you say, my big boy? Are you ready to start learning to go potty like Dad?"

"No."

"No?"

"No."

She laughed when I said that, but Dad didn't. "I think the ball's in your court, Castle."

"That and more, Beckett." He wiggled his eyebrows at her, but I don't know why.

Mom laughed again, but I don't know why about that, either.

And I don't know about this potty thing. Why do I have to learn? And why do I have to go potty like Dad and not like Mom, anyway? Are they different? I'd ask Scrapple but I don't think dogs ever wear diapers. Besides, they pee on the ground. Maybe I'll ask Docky. He's good at explaining things.

A/N Thank you so much for all your support. I'm very grateful for every bit of it.