14

The bathwater's cold when I wake, still giving off a faint scent. No idea how long I slept, but I'm not even drowsy. I stand, shivering, and check my wounds. They're hard and bloodless again.

Someone's folded my clothes, left them on the end of the bed. Dry, clean, no stains. Igor's alone in the main room when I step out, paging through a book. He closes it when he notices me, keeping his place with one finger, waiting on my decision.

"You're going to have to work with me, Igor."

No response.

"You can't make me flail around and waste time. I need to be right where the next ker is. I need to find it as fast as I can. So I can finish. As soon as possible."

He smiles. "I can agree to these terms."

Terms, like a contract. I'd only been thinking of my choices. I owe it to Theo and the world to get back to my Seal. I owe it to my friends to help them take down the keres.

And if my friends find me again?

Well. The only thing I can do is what I did last time.

"Very well." Igor gestures to the door. "I will place you where you will most quickly meet the next ker."

"Also – when this is over – Igor, will you send Elizabeth or Theo to explain everything to them? Otherwise, this is just going to haunt them."

He gestures again. "I will honor your wishes. Now, take to the next ker."

I go to the door and open it, meeting darkness and a blast of cold, salty air.

"You'll have to jump a bit," Igor says.

Part of me knows better, but I have things to accomplish. I jump a bit.

And nearly skid and tumble as I land on something hard and slippery – I grab out and am grateful for my gloves because whatever I've landed on feels sharp enough to cut bare skin. My legs are still sliding, and I punch my heels down, steadying myself. Something roars and suddenly I'm blasted with freezing salt water.

I can't really see, but I think I'm on a rock. Cautiously, I stretch one leg out. It meets empty air. Resettling myself, I reach out an arm and feel the rock's curvature. A small rock.

SPLASH.

In the middle of a nighttime ocean.

Damn you, Igor.

It's been an hour, maybe.

After reaching around and making sure that my rock didn't fortuitously connect to, you know, an actual land mass, I'd huddled up, knees to chest, arms on knees. And sat, letting myself get soaked by the water. The more it hits me, the less cold it seems, but my teeth keep bouncing off each other, even if the waves are too loud for me to hear the chatter. So. What's the next ker? Hypothermia? Sniffling While Sitting on a Rock? Wasting Away in the Black Nothingness Where Nobody Loves You?

Except it isn't black nothingness. I know black nothingness – it surrounds the Seal, and it isn't cold and loud and wet like this. I try to take my mind away from the discomfort. Even though I went into the Velvet Room and slept for what felt like hours, no time passed in the real world. So, to my friends, it's only been about an hour since Fuuka saw me. They've got to be still awake, still talking. What are they thinking? What are they deciding?

I shiver, so hard I feel like I'm going to topple. I don't want to imagine what they're thinking, but I can't escape the question. They want to know why I've run away from them. Damn, I – I should've told Koromaru more, then he could've explained why I have to stay away from them. And then...

They probably wouldn't care. I know them. They're probably trying to figure out how to find me right now. All of them, Ken and Koro and Fuuka. Mitsuru, Akihiko, Yukari, Junpei. Aigis. Shinjiro.

I squeeze my eyes shut, but I don't think I'm about to cry. I clamp my fingers on the rock, tighten my legs closer. I never should have come back. I'm not this strong. I can't pretend that I don't want them again.

I can still touch how I felt, the night I chose to Seal Nyx and the morning I finally let go and died. I was sad, but also aching with weariness. And peaceful. I knew I couldn't live with any choice but to die.

And now I have a chance to get back everything I gave up – except I don't, it only seems that way – I'm lying if I think I can ever be with them again because I'm dead. I died. You can't reverse that.

My eyes are tender. If I don't stop this, I will cry. But why – why did Fuuka have to find me? Why couldn't they just go on not knowing I'm here? Why does it have to be so hard?

And now I'm crying.

Well. There's no one here to see me.

Thank heaven for that, I suppose. I'm glad I can't see me. After I'm done, I wipe my streaming nose on the back of my glove, which is already soaked from saltwater. Deep breath. Okay. Igor told me the ker would be here. Am I fighting water molecules?

Damn it.

I evoke, giving Thanatos a taste of the night air. He crests over me, snarling, leaving a wake of heat. He hovers, uneasy, but he isn't focused on anything. He doesn't have a clue. After a moment, he forms a fireball in his fist and tosses it into the darkness before dissipating. The sea's settled some by now, and I follow the flame's trajectory, watching as it arcs towards its own reflection until they meet, extinguishing.

Then there's another light, small and steady, and a human voice shouting out. Well. Hello, ker.

Gingerly, I stand, my legs shaking from the cold and from being folded so long. I feel nothing the first few times I flex my fingers, until the nerves wake up and they ache.

"Hello?" the gruff male voice shouts out again.

"Heya!" I shout back. No arm-waving. I'm shivering so hard I might wave myself right into the drink. C'mon, ker, just a bit closer, then we can get down to business and I can have some words with Igor.

He bellows back: "Worst wet-shirt contestant I've ever seen!"

What?

"Hello there, Death," he chuckles once he's close enough, leaning into the lamplight on the stern of his boat.

No, you –

"Fancy a ride back to shore?"

I shout – sort of – I'm trying to swear too, but I can't quite get the syllables together – and I think I'm trying very hard not to cry because there's a high wail in my voice – but what I do manage to convey is WHAT THE HELL? Harris lowers his eyebrows and cranes back in his seat, as if trying to see all of me from the best possible angle.

"You – you – you're – " Can't tell if the stuttering is me being freezing or me being royally fed up. "You're supposed to be a Shadow! I have been sitting here, waiting on my – my duff – for a very important fight, I was promised a very important fight, and all I'm getting is some stupid existentialist lecture from you?"

"Beg your pardon," Harris says. "I'll just go."

I fling my head back and aaaargh again. And stamp my foot because, I swear, it feels really satisfying.

Harris is still there when I look down, leaning forward, using the end of a dying cigarette to light his pipe. He flicks the cig, another little light cartwheeling into the darkness. "So?"

"I swear." My throat prickles from strain. "I'm waiting for a fight."

"I'll give you one if you don't get your tush down from there." He gestures to the boat's empty seat.

I sigh. "Is this...something I just have to go through? I can't go kill another ker until I talk to you?"

"Is it ker-hunting season?" And when he sees my surprise, he grins and gestures back down to the boat. "I know a fair bit of mythology, even if I mix it up a bit." He stretches an arm out.

Accepting my destiny, I press one hand to his arm, using him for balance as I step into the boat. I just have time to settle myself by the lamp before the boats rocks away, the water patting its sides.

"I can't see why you'd hunt keres, though." Harris keeps his eyes on me, cranking his pipe through his teeth. "There's no lost love among them. Leave 'em alone and they'd slaughter each other soon enough."

"Not soon enough. I can't wait for them to gang up on each other. Besides, that would just leave the strongest one of all standing."

"Maybe so." He puffs out smoke. "My lady Ker. No, I don't suppose you'd like to let her have her way. Though I can't deny that I'm pleased to see some of those puny keres suffer. Momos." He snorts. "Little bitch. Always took all the fun for himself."

I stare at my gloves, waiting for something to happen. When I look up, and slowly, Harris is still just smiling.

"You're supposed to give me an apple or something."

He guffaws. "Is this the Garden of Eden? I ain't that bad." He leans back and chuckles again, almost flattered. The boat's been moving forward steadily, though it's only now I realize there's no motor, and there's only one paddle, and it's lying on the bottom of the boat.

So much for the apple theme. "So you're Harris, a ker." That doesn't sound like a Greek name. "And your other, more literal name would be... Smelly Mysteriousness?"

He looks at me, smiling, shaking his head. Then tips to the side and spits into the water. "Pretty Death. Don't suppose you'd let me check under that tongue for a coin?"

I square my feet as much as I can on the boat's bottom, which is as close as I can get to bracing myself. "Smelly Vaguely Perverted Mysteriousness?"

"You got no manners." And he moves – I think he's bowing at first, but he comes up with the paddle in one hand, hoisting himself to full height. His face leaves the glow of the lamp, with only the light from his pipe burning on his cheek. The boat sways, and I grab the edge with one hand, summoning my naginata into the other. There's no room for me to stand.

His voice lowers, but it hasn't lost that pleased amusement. "We're old partners, but even you must pay the Ferryman's due."

"You're...that – that dead boat guy?"

He rips the pipe from his teeth and flings it away. "Charon, my lady. And I do thank you for ridding me of my lesser siblings. But I can't have your Seal dam the Styx completely."

"What?"

"We five remaining keres will do well enough to keep a steady flow of human pain from earth to Nyx. And I know I'm next on your hit list. So the fun ends here." Ragged jacket flapping, he swings the paddle above his head, metal glinting – a long blade's sprung out from it and there's no room for me to move.

Of course, I don't need to move.

"Thanatos!"

My Persona roars, a louder, looser sound than a lion's roar, surging into Charon. He staggers back but keeps his footing. The boat bucks and I let the motion carry me up and forward, naginata extended. He sweeps his paddle up, and at first all I feel is the impact, shooting pain through my arms. Then he swings his weight forward, hoists me and my blade up. Then it's cold, rushing – I'm hurtling through the air. Can't see anything but darkness and the occasional smear of light from the boat, then –

Pain, a hard slap of pain – no, it's cold – I've crashed into the water and suddenly it's closing over me, pure coldness flooding my mouth and nose. I kick out, no rhythm, just desperate movement, trying to keep myself awake, alert, straining my eyes open, looking for the surface – I jerk my legs out, kicking, trying, Thanatos –

Something blazingly hot bumps against my legs, then shoves up along my stomach. My hands reflexively clamp down – straps, buckles? – and then I'm deaf, I'm moving too fast to see or hear anything, but a different coldness breaks over me, sharp as needles, and I blink and can see the boat's light again. I'm on Thanatos' back, staring over his shoulders as he arcs himself and plunges through the night towards Charon.

Better get that naginata.

Thanatos smashes into Charon, throwing him off his feet, splintering the left side of boat. I jump as Thanatos dissolves. Charon's bent, legs splayed, balancing himself as the boat reels, trying to find its own equilibrium. My blade hits first, shoving into the top of his spine, his body resisting before my weapon shudders and thrusts down through the front of his chest.

My feet land on his shoulders, and we stand like that a moment, me on his back, pinned there by my weapon. And then I start bobbling because Charon starts laughing, shoulders shaking.

"I'd wondered," he says slurpily, though I can't see if he's bleeding from the mouth, "who was really in charge? I'd thought you were Death's little paramour. But it looks like he's your bitch."

I am so sick of you talking. I pull back, wrenching my weapon free – and tumble, hitting the boat's aft, which is still more or less intact. Charon's spun. By the time I've sorted myself out, he's almost on me, lifting his paddle high to stab me. I squirm and, holding it with both hands, push my naginata up, hitting his paddle from an angle. Also kick my legs out, hitting both his shins. And roll, but he still partially falls on me, hitting my hip, his blood splashing into my hair, swearing, fingers clawing my scalp. Reangle the naginata. Stab backwards. Hit stomach. Push.

He cries out, and it doesn't even sound human. But the fingers jerk away from my hair and I can feel him bending, twisting. The boat rears and falls and I vanish my weapon, using both hands to pull myself up, clutch the edge. Glance back and Charon's heaving himself up, so wet and dark I can't distinguish the blood. He hasn't dropped his weapon.

Thanatos' thoughts flash through mine. No, I've told you again and again, we're not going to –

Wait.

We're in the middle of the ocean.

Hell. Yeah. Okay.

"Thanatos!" I shout as Charon staggers up, tumbles, and uses his momentum to fall at me blade-first. At the same time, Thanatos bursts out of me, and, with him, Maragidyne. And I do my best to scramble over the edge of the boat and abandon ship.

I hit the water, and when I tumble, looking up, I can see bright flares through the surface. I push upwards, breaking, gasping for air, my body freezing as my face is bathed in heat. The fire's unnatural, devouring the boat as if it were a dry bush, not soaked with seawater. I can't see Charon – no sign of him flailing in pain or trying to escape. Thanatos hovers above, careful, watching.

As the boat curls in on itself, something – not the fire – sounds like it's chuckling.

I bob, ducking my head under the water as if that'll clear it. Even if he helped me, I had to kill him.

Even so, I'm glad Harris found something amusing about the end.

Fire burns along the water for a moment, but once all the boat has been destroyed, the fire lowers and flickers. Thanatos vanishes.

And there is no light source, it's darkest night, and I've got nothing but miles of water under me.

Igor. Igor. You owe me. You owe me so bad.

Faint blue light puffs into being. Far away under the water.

Seriously, what?

I gulp my breath in and dive downwards.

Junpei didn't just rub the back of his hand against his eyes – he went up the wrist and halfway to the elbow, and even that didn't get all the sleep out. When he'd come back to the motel last night (earlier that morning) he'd tossed and turned before dropping off. Everything was just too much to take in.

"Hey." It was Yukari's voice, subdued. He looked over to see Yukari, Fuuka and Aigis coming up the sidewalk towards him. Good timing. Mitsuru's apartment building was only a block off. They trudged along, hands in pockets, mindful of the thin film of snow. Not a lot of people had been walking along here.

"What'd you tell Chidori-san?" Yukari asked presently. "That you're...still here to plant flowers and beautify Port Island?"

"She doesn't know I ran out for half the night." Cynicism edged Junpei's usual cheer. "So I just left her a note this morning. And..." He drew a deep breath. "And I bought her a train ticket back home." He felt Yukari glance at him. "Yeah, I'm setting myself up for nuclear winter, but what can I do? She isn't like us, not anymore."

"You wish to protect her," Aigis said from the other side, her tone oddly tentative. "I understand."

"She won't," Junpei muttered. And left unsaid that he'd turned his phone off for the morning. "So, what'd you think our next move is? I mean, now that, uh..."

Yukari checked Aigis, not him, probably watching the robot's reaction, before speaking. "It looks like we have the same goal. I guess." Junpei could tell we in this case didn't mean SEES, it meant SEES and Minako, divided forces. Hearing the frustration in Yukari's voice made it harder for him to keep his own impatience down. "I mean, there are these weird Shadows we have to destroy..."

"Koro-chan said something odd last night," came Fuuka's voice from behind them. "'Only certain Personas can destroy them', or something like that."

Junpei glanced over his shoulder. "Yeah?"

"Minako-chan's been able to destroy these Shadows on her own, so at least one of the Personas she's using is the right type."

"Types of Persona? You mean like its arcana?"

"Think of the two fights we've been in: Oneiroi and Momos. When we fought Oneiroi, we were able to incapacitate her fairly easily, but we couldn't kill her. Not until Ken attacked her with Kala-Nemi."

Yukari looked sharply over. "And with Momos – you said he was afraid of Ken – "

"– and he blocked only Ken off from his Persona," Fuuka finished. "We could weaken him, but we couldn't kill him."

"So – so what do Ken's and Minako's Personas have in common?" Junpei asked. "It's not like he can whip out a dozen at a time."

"I can't think of anything," Yukari said. "But Fuuka, I think you're on to something."

They quieted down as they entered the apartment building's warm lobby, almost humid compared to the cold morning, and they tried not to drip on the royal blue carpet as they made for the nearest elevator.

"Minako-chan used Thanatos in the fight last night," Fuuka resumed once they were heading up towards their floor. "And his arcana is Death. But Kala-Nemi's is Justice, so that can't be the common factor..."

Yukari shifted her weight and frowned. When Junpei gave her a questioning look, she shrugged. "It's just kind of weird to think of her using Thanatos. I mean, he was a Persona, yeah, but it's not like he was her. He was Ryoji-kun. And that monster we fought at the top of Tartarus."

"And he said he was almost indistinguishable from Nyx." Aigis didn't sigh, but her eyelids lowered.

"It's hard sometimes," Yukari said, not looking at any of them. "To know how to think of her. We all, you know, made peace with her holding Death." Junpei stiffened, but Yukari didn't take the chance to berate him for how he'd treated Minako when he discovered what she'd been carrying. "But she died and became the Great Seal. And now... if she's come back, what is she?" She looked quickly over, anger beneath her uncertainty. "I don't mean a ghost or any of that, but – I mean – what do you become, after you go through all that?"

It was hard enough to meet Yukari's eyes, harder still to crack a smile, but Junpei did both. "C'mon, don't freak out over that. She's Mina-tan. You, like, took baths with her in Kyoto and had slumber parties and giggled over girly crap. That's not someone you should be afraid of."

"I'm not afraid," Yukari fired back.

"I'm afraid," Aigis said, and the elevator dinged to a stop.

Oh damn, thought Junpei as they walked down the hallway. They couldn't start falling apart. "You aren't afraid of her though."

Aigis touched her fingers to her throat. "No... not of her."

"Well – well, don't be afraid of things that haven't happened yet." And he knocked hard on Mitsuru's door, as if that was the final word that would drown out any further conversation.

Ken answered the door, stepping aside to show Koromaru sitting on the carpet, twisting around and reaccustoming himself to his Evoker. Shinjiro stood by the rear window, one shoulder pressing into the glass, staring out. Akihiko and Mitsuru sat on the sofa, laptop open on the low table. They leaned into each other, staring intently at the screen. "Play it back," Akihiko said as Junpei walked over, slipping behind the sofa to see.

It was a dim-lit feed from a security camera, he guessed – he remembered Mitsuru asking Kurosawa for a copy of whatever the crime scene's cam came up with. At first all he saw was a dark square, then something white bobbed along the bottom left corner.

"Koro-chan," said Fuuka. "And – "

They watched in silence.

Junpei didn't ask the others, but he at least couldn't see much of the figure. Dark clothes, pale legs, and a naginata's blade gleaming with reflected light. Her hair was down, which he wasn't used to seeing, and he couldn't pick out its color in the light. Given the camera's angle, there was no chance of seeing her face. But there was something about the movements that was familiar – he couldn't say what exactly. Only that he could almost predict it, the way she strolled a few steps forward, muscles loose. Then stopped, tucking one leg back, bracing with the naginata. Even the little cock to her head. He'd seen it all a hundred times.

There was a soft flare of light, striking across her, burning her hair red – and then the feed went dead.

"Shadow interference, probably," Mitsuru said. Junpei had a feeling she was repeating herself for their benefit. "Unless the camera was elygic, it couldn't operate in the same vicinity as a Shadow."

"Play it back," Aigis said.

Mitsuru hesitated (how many times had she already studied it?) then obeyed. And they watched again, searching for clues. Junpei kept his mouth shut. It sounded stupid, but...was she a ghost? She looked solid. She looked just like herself. In a way, he felt guilty, watching her from a secret camera. It was downright creepy, especially the way they kept playing it back, searching for a clue, anything. Or maybe they were doing it just to see her.

"We sure this isn't a trick?" Junpei said, eventually.

"You're thinking of the Abyss of Time," Mitsuru said, "that Shadow we followed."

"Our desire to see her again taking shape." Aigis' voice trailed off. "But that Shadow tantalized us. It didn't run from us and refuse to return." Koromaru snorted and Aigis looked up, the anxiety in her face easing slightly. "Koromaru-san believes it is her."

"I'm sure it's her," Fuuka said. "Juno was certain."

"Play it back," Junpei said.

"You ain't going to find anything new," came Shinjiro's voice from behind him.

Mitsuru rested her hand on the lid of the laptop for a moment before shutting it. "Shinjiro – yes. We're only opening ourselves to speculation, and she's made it clear she's – " She broke off when Akihiko sighed impatiently. Junpei dug his hands in his pockets, bracing. Whatever was happening, he wasn't going to take sides – if they just refused to do that, to line up against each other, SEES wouldn't fall apart.

"If we aren't looking for her," Akihiko said stiffly, "what are we doing now? Leaving these – keres – to her and going back to our own business?"

Junpei remembered how in the old days, whenever there was some conflict, Mitsuru had sometimes stood just so everyone else had to look up at her. She remained seated now, looking at Akihiko a while, then out to include the rest of them, even over her shoulder for Junpei and Shinjiro. "I admit, that doesn't sit well with me either. I won't ignore the situation. We will continue scanning the city, and we will take down whatever Shadows we find."

Not quite what he wanted to hear (what did he want to here? Let's hunt Minako down and bully her into telling us what's what?), but Junpei punched the back of the sofa and smiled. "And you'll bail us out when we all lose our jobs, right senpai?"

Yukari had been edging towards a smile, but her face fell. "Gee, thanks, Junpei. I'm really glad you reminded us of that."

"Yeah," Akihiko muttered, rising from the sofa. "I have to go make some calls."

"Hey, I – c'mon, I didn't – hey, it's just as bad for me!"

"Those of us who can should return to work," Mitsuru said, not mentioning that it left Akihiko, Fuuka and Junpei hanging. "This will give everyone a chance to make excuses, and we will meet again this evening."

"Fine." Junpei threw up his hands. "Just like always." He sighed, wondering if he should call Chidori to make sure she took the train – though he wasn't sure how he could make her – and it would just be another opportunity to argue – when suddenly Mitsuru was at his side.

"Iori." Her mouth slowly settled into its smile, the small one Junpei remembered from when she'd signed everyone up for summer school. "If you're at loose ends, I believe I might have some errands for you to run."

The automatic response was to protest – but then Junpei closed his mouth. Why not? It was an excuse not to think of Chidori.