A/N I am so sorry this chapter took so long, but I was very busy with school, then graduation, then senior week, and then work but here it is! If all goes to plan, there will be one final chapter coming to you by the end of the summer! Enjoy! And as always, thanks so much to my beta reader:)
It had taken about two weeks before Octavia, Clarke, Raven and Lexa were all available for dinner at the same time, but Clarke figured that was probably a good thing. She wanted Raven to have had enough time to cool down after finding out what had happened with Finn before Clarke had to face her.
On top of that, Clarke was worried. Lexa had tried and tried to comfort her but all Clarke could think about were the "what if's." What if Raven decided she didn't forgive Clarke? Clarke had kissed Finn back, hadn't she? Inebriated or not, shouldn't that be something Raven would be mad about? What if Octavia was wrong and Raven didn't want to patch things up? What if she saw Clarke and decided "Nope, nevermind. Cutting out toxic people 2k18. Sorry Clarke, kissing my boyfriend counts as incredibly toxic." What if-
Lexa cut off Clarke's spiraling train of thought with a hand on her shoulder. "Clarke, it's going to be fine. I promise," Lexa leaned over and gave Clarke a kiss on the cheek, and wrapped her arms around Clarke from behind.
"Okay… but what if it isn't?"
"Then I'll be here with you to get through it. But I'm sure it's going to be fine. Has Octavia texted you yet?" Lexa asked.
"Yeah, she said she and Raven should be ready in about five minutes," Clarke replied.
"Okay, you ready to go then?" Lexa asked.
"Yep," Clarke replied.
"Okay, let's go then," Lexa said, unwrapping herself from Clarke and instead offering Clarke her hand to hold once she stood up, which Clarke took gratefully.
The girls left their dorm room together and walked through the dorm complex until they made their way to Raven and Octavia's dorm room.
Clarke hesitated before knocking so Lexa squeezed her hand comfortingly. Clarke knocked and could hear Octavia's voice on the other side of the door, saying something to Raven before she opened it.
"Hey guys!" she said brightly, exiting the room with Raven behind her.
"Hey O, hey Raven," Clarke said. Lexa exchanged pleasantries with the the other two girls as Clarke kept a deathgrip on Lexa's hand. Lexa rubbed the back of Clarke's hand with her thumb to comfort her.
"Hey Clarke. Hey Lexa," Raven replied with a nervous smile. It comforted Clarke a little bit to see that Raven looked a little nervous as well.
"So. Ready to go?" Octavia asked the other three. They all nodded and began walking out together, and a semi-awkward quietness settled over them.
"So, how have you been Raven?" Lexa asked pleasantly, sharing a quick glance with Octavia. They both hoped the initial awkwardness between Clarke and Raven would disappear once conversation started.
"Oh, uh I've been okay. You?" Raven replied.
"Pretty good," Lexa responded.
"What about you Clarke?" Raven asked.
"Oh um, I'm good actually. I haven't gotten a chance to tell you yet, but Lexa and I are dating now," Clarke said with a smile, holding up her and Lexa's intertwined hands.
Raven laughed, "Yeah, actually I heard about that. Good for you two," she said genuinely.
"Thanks," Clarke answered with a smile as they walked up the sidewalk to Friendly's, her and Lexa hand in hand and Octavia and Raven's arms linked together.
"Table for four," Octavia told the hostess once inside.
The girls shared small talk for a little while to break the ice and Clarke's hand held Lexa's in a death grip the entire time, clearly unable to relax.
"So," Raven said eventually, "We should probably get everything into the open. I broke up with Finn," she said bluntly.
The air between them all turned to ice in an instant as Clarke looked down and Octavia comfortingly took Raven's hand and squeezed it.
"I'm really sorry, Rae. And not just for that. For everything," Clarke said.
"It wasn't just because of… what happened with you. He cheated on me… multiple times, apparently," Raven admitted a little bitterly.
"Wh-really? Oh my god Raven, I'm so sorry," Clarke said, her eyes opening wide in surprise. She glanced at Octavia in a "you didn't tell me about this" way, but Octavia was focused solely on Raven with one arm around her shoulder and the other squeezing her hand in comfort.
Raven nodded. "Yeah. It sucks, he sucks and men are trash but I owe you an apology too-"
Clarke cut her off, "No Raven, I'm the one who fucked up-"
"Yeah, but that doesn't mean I didn't fuck some stuff up too. We're best friends, Clarke. I should have talked to you about it and tried to work things out a lot sooner rather than shutting you out. No boyfriend is worth a friendship, especially not Finn," Raven said.
Clarke nodded through the relieved tears welling up in her eyes. "So are we cool?" she asked hesitantly.
"Yeah, we're cool Griffin," Raven said with a smirk.
"Awesome. I… I really missed you guys," Clarke admitted.
"Me too," Raven and Octavia said, nearly in unison. They all laughed and Octavia and Raven smirked at how in tune they were. The girls continued with dinner, enthusiastically talking about anything and everything that had happened in the last few months until eventually Raven and Lexa both got up to use the bathroom, leaving Clarke and Octavia alone.
"So," Clarke said, once Raven and Lexa had gotten up.
"So what?" Octavia challenged, raising an eyebrow.
"So, you and Raven?" Clarke asked.
"What about us?"
"Are you two, like, a thing now?" Clarke asked with a smirk.
"What? No, we're not-we're not a thing-"
"But you like her," Clarke said, and it wasn't a question.
"Says who?"
"It's written all over your face, O. You know I can read you like a book. This time is no different." Clarke responded.
"Well, what am I supposed to do?" Octavia asked. "She's my best friend. I can't just be like 'Hey Raven, by the way, I really like you, date me please?'"
"Well why not?" Clarke asked.
"Uh, because she's my best friend," Octavia said in a tone that said the answer to Clarke's question was quite obvious. "What if she says no and things get weird and she's uncomfortable and our friendship is fucked up forever? Then not only will I not have a girlfriend, but I will have lost Raven. It's way too risky," Octavia said decisively.
"Okay, all of that is true, but what if she says yes?" Clarke asked.
Octavia hesitated, "She wouldn't. There's no way…"
"But what if she does?" Clarke prompted again. Octavia just sighed.
"Look," Clarke said, "If you really like her, then you should tell her. It'll be worth it. You never know what could happen."
"Yeah, exactly. I don't know. I don't know if she does or could like me like that or if I'm just reading into things too hard or what. Like, there will be moments where I think maybe she could like me, but then she'll say something so platonic I know it could never happen."
"Okay, but it's Raven. You've known each other for years. What is the worst that could happen? You guys are a little awkward for a little while if she says no? You know she would never end your friendship over something like that," Clarke reassured Raven. "And she could definitely say yes."
Octavia shook her head and began to answer but they saw Lexa and Raven making their way back to the table, so she just shot Clarke a look instead.
"So, are we doing dessert?" Raven asked as she sat down and wrapped an arm around Octavia as Lexa did the same to Clarke. Clarke raised her eyebrows at Octavia while answering "yes" to Raven.
The rest of the evening passed enjoyably, and at the end of the night the girls promised they would do this again soon, which was more than Clarke had dared to hope for the evening.
Raven started talking as soon as she and Octavia made it back to their dorm room, and Octavia didn't think she had stopped talking for more than ten seconds at a time in the past hour they had been back.
It was quite clear that months without Clarke had taken a toll on Raven, and Octavia was glad she finally was able to convince Raven that her friendship with Clarke was worth more than her relationship with Finn. She just regretted how far she had to go to convince her of the fact, and more so, she regretted the fact that Raven had ended up dating a douchebag like Finn in the first place.
"O, are you listening?" Raven asked, cutting into Octavia's thoughts.
"Wh-yes, of course. You knew Clarke and Lexa would end up together since the beginning. Right, please continue," Octavia teased her.
Raven stuck her tongue out at Octavia and plopped herself down on the bed next to her, her legs folded so that her knees were touching Octavia's.
"Why are you in a mood?" Raven asked.
"I'm not, I'm just tired," Octavia lied.
Raven gave her a skeptical look, but didn't question her any further and instead changed the subject back to Clarke.
"We need to make sure we do that again soon," she said.
"I agree, wholeheartedly. Maybe if somebody had listened to me we could have gotten this squared away sooner," Octavia teased her lightly.
Raven smiled at her and rolled her eyes, "Uh huh, okay you were right, is that what you wanted to hear?"
Octavia broke into a goofy grin, "Yup, exactly what I wanted to hear."
Raven rolled her eyes and grabbed her laptop off of the desk next to them, opening Netflix and settling down on the bed with Octavia to watch so that they were lying shoulder to shoulder next to each other.
Around 1 am, Raven's head fell on to Octavia's shoulder as she fell asleep and Octavia was wondering if maybe Clarke was right.
Maybe telling Raven would be worth it.
"See, that went well, right?" Lexa said to Clarke once they got back to their dorm room that night.
Clarke smiled, almost uncontrollably, "It was amazing," she agreed.
"Raven seemed really happy to fix things with you too," Lexa said. "It wasn't just you and Octavia, Raven seemed really relieved to have you back."
"Yeah-" Clarke was cut off by her phone ringing, "hold up one second," Clarke said as she pulled her phone out, only to see the caller ID and hit ignore with a sigh.
"Who was it?" Lexa asked, though she had a pretty good idea based off of the look on Clarke's face.
"My mother," Clarke answered bluntly sitting down on the bed, and Lexa sat down beside her. Clarke's mood quickly went from being ecstatic to sullen in a matter of seconds with just one phone call.
"She's called you a couple times recently, hasn't she?" Lexa asked cautiously.
"Yep," Clarke responded, but she provided no further detail.
"Do you know what she wants?" Lexa asked. "Did she leave a voicemail?"
Clarke sighed and answered in the affirmative. "Yes, but it's the same crap she's always said and never followed through with."
"And what kind of stuff is that?" Lexa prompted.
"It's the same old apologies and promises to get her shit together but she never actually does it," Clarke said, trying to sound nonchalant, but failing miserably. "Here, you can listen with me if you want," she said with a pout, pressing the play button on the voicemail.
"Hey Clarke, it's mom. I just wanted to know how you were doing and how school is going? I've heard a little bit from Octavia but I wanted to hear from you. Look, Clarke, I know you're angry and you're upset with me and I understand that. But your father is gone, and there's nothing I can do to change that, as much as I would like to. I know you miss him, I do too, and I'm sorry. But I miss you too Clarke. I can't change the past, and I know I haven't been the best mother since your father died, but I've changed and I don't want to lose you too… I love you. Call me back when you get this."
Lexa looked up at Clarke who was on the verge of tears.
"Clarke, I know you and your mom have had issues, but she really sounds like she wants to fix things with you," Lexa said quietly.
"I know," Clarke replied, tears rushing down her face. "But it's not that easy. Lex she just, she basically disappeared after my dad died. She started drinking and expecting so much of me and I couldn't live up to it. I pretty much lost both parents when my dad died," Clarke choked out.
Suddenly Clarke's drunken outburst from months earlier made sense to Lexa and she wrapped Clarke into a hug as she cried. "Hey, it'll be okay. It'll be okay," Lexa soothed her. "You're going to be okay, I promise."
"Hey, you don't have to talk to her now, or even soon, but it really does sound like your mom wants to fix things, and I think you do too. But getting one parent back has got to be better than not having either," Lexa said to her, once she calmed down a little bit and they were lying on Clarke's bed together.
"Can you be there with me when I call her?" Clarke asked.
"Of course, Clarke."