Chapter 14

Meg had found me once Erik returned me, immediately asking me questions about what had happened. I lied, simply saying the Phantom had taken me to scare everyone, and lead me through the catacombs back here almost immediately afterwards. It was obvious that she didn't believe me, but she didn't contradict me and I was grateful for that.

Meg informed me as she pulled me along that Raoul was waiting in her mother's room as they talked, he was asking her about the Phantom. About Erik. This got my attention and when we neared the door I suddenly stopped Meg, stooping low and listening as close as I dare go to the door. Once again Meg did not question me; she stooped beside me and listened as well. I waited on bated breath for Madame Giry to continue, but as she did I suddenly felt my stomach drop.

My heart was suddenly in my throat, and I couldn't breathe. Erik had been caged...a-and beaten?! Meg placed a hand on my shoulder, trying to calm my shaking as I furiously wrung my hands and twisted the ring on my finger through my satin glove. When had I begun to shake? I tried to stop, but found it was either concentrate on being still or hold back the tears that were threatening any moment to overflow.

I was relieved when Madame Giry was finished with her tale, but unfortunately the last thing she had said hit me harder than anything else, so hard I actually flinched. She had a smile in her voice as she said, "I hid him from the world and its cruelties. Not to say he has not lived outside of the Opera House, he became quite adventurous once he became a man."

I knew all too well how 'adventurous' Erik had become once he had become a man. Witnessing first hand his bravery and eagerness to protect my father and I, something nobody had ever done for Erik...he always protected himself, or at least tried to. My tears were suddenly unstoppable and I took off down the hallway, wanting to be away from everybody. I needed to think, to be alone, just for a little while.

Meg had called my name as I ran, and before I could disappear down one of the many hallways I heard boots running behind me. I imagined it to be Erik at first, but soon I felt the familiar arms of Raoul encircled my waist, pulling me back and holding me close as I cried into his chest. He didn't ask why I was crying, but I assumed he knew.

For one of the few times in my life I felt truly helpless. I was at a crossroads that left me disoriented as I twisted and turned, looking from one path to the other and circling back again, wanting desperately to make the right decision. I couldn't think with all these voices, screaming at me to go one way and begging not to go the other. Erik, Raoul, Madame Giry, Papa...

I felt Raoul's arms tighten around me as a sudden dizziness hit me. I was so dizzy, I needed air. I didn't know I had spoken that thought out loud, but soon Raoul said in a breathless phrase, "I'll take you outside."

Raoul held me tightly as he ushered me outside, practically carrying me for my lack of energy. When he opened the door I saw that it was raining, and the cool crisp air hit me, causing me to take a deep breath that soothed my nerves as I sat down on the steps. Raoul joined me, his hands clasped in his lap as I held my head in my hands, trying to lose myself in thought. For a moment Raoul remained silent and let me think. That didn't last long though.

"Christine, are you okay? What happened? He grabbed you and I had no idea if you were safe or not! Did that monster hurt you?"

My head snapped up and I immediately barked, "He is not a monster Raoul!"

Raoul flinched at the anger in my voice and even I cringed a bit after I heard my tone, but I was not about to recant my statement. Raoul nodded, "No, not a monster but-"

"Raoul, I do not mean to sound rude but could you be quiet for a few minutes?" I asked in a defeated voice, "Please, I need to think."

Raoul looked shocked at my question but nodded and I gave a tired smile as I leaned back. Taking a deep breath I let it out with a sigh and thought about what I had just learned. Erik had such a wretched childhood, and I found that like Madame Giry, I wanted to hold him and comfort him. He probably would think I was only doing it out of pity...but he said so himself that he knows I love him. He only said that to torment me because of my letter...but do I?

Do I love Erik? Really love him? I wrote it in my letter, at the time I only meant that I cared about him, but maybe he read deeper into it. I remember exactly what I had written and I see the hidden meaning I had placed into certain phrases, but did Erik? I should have written more than what I did, I wasn't in that much of a hurry after all.

My dearest Erik,

I know there is no way I can convince you this is not a trick, that I did not simply leave because I have truly seen you now, but I do not care. I must say what I have to say and I am beseeching you to listen and understand. Please.

I know you had only told me the truth tonight, was that so selfish? No. But the circumstances of when you decided to finally tell me were. I do not want to hate you Erik, and I cannot believe that I do, but how am I to ever over look what you have done tonight? Not only did I witness you murdering a man, but I found out you are also responsible for my father's death.

Erik, even after everything that has happened tonight, I want you to know that I forgive you. I forgive you, because you have never intentionally hurt me and have made me happier in the past few months than I have been in my entire life. I was always happy when I was with you, but I cannot stay here, I cannot be with you. That would only be an insult to my father's memory and what little integrity I have. Our integrity sells for so little it seems, but in life it is all we truly have. It is very small and fragile, but it is the only thing in the world worth having.

We must never give it away or let somebody take it from us, and I believe that even now you still hold yours tightly; wanting to be the man I have always seen you as. But if you would ask me to stay, knowing what I know, then you would be asking me to give away the very last inch of me. The inch that allows my soul to be free.

I am sorry, truly and deeply. I hope you understand this, but what I hope you understand most of all is that even though I will never see you, laugh with you, cry with you, or kiss you again; I love you. With all my heart.

Christine

I pinched my eyes shut, the flood of emotions hit me and I felt like crying. Why? Why did Erik have to be a part of that group that murdered my father? Why did I have to fall in love with him and forgive-...I stopped when I remembered what Erik had asked me before he returned me. I had told him in my letter that I had forgiven him, but he had specifically asked. He must not have read it!

My eyes bolted at the sudden realization, his boldness tonight had not been from my letter. He was going to fight for me no matter what, and his resolve is only going to get stronger should he ever actually read my letter.

Dread suddenly festered in the pit of my stomach, dread and an inner knowing that Erik had read my letter now. For some reason I just knew, and I worried about what he would do now. Not Erik, the Opera Ghost, his persona that I saw as Red Death at the Masquerade was who I feared. Erik was always kind and gentle; whereas the Opera Ghost was cunning and very, very dangerous.

The danger was not towards me though, but to the people around me. Erik would never hurt me but if he became desperate enough he would use anybody he could to get to me. Meg, Madame Giry, and even Raoul. Just like he took advantage of the Masquerade, if I ignored him he would do what he needed to get through to me. What was I going to do?

I looked at Raoul, and twisting Erik's ring ruthlessly I bit my lip, making a decision I knew I should have made months ago. I decided that I was going to call the wedding off. Not only for the sake of Raoul's safety, but for my own peace of mind. I spoke of integrity to Erik, preaching that it was something that we must never let someone take or give up, but who would I be to ignore that and marry someone I did not love?

My mouth opened to speak, but soon I heard Meg giggling and turned to see Meg walking out with Raoul's brother, Philippi. She was shoulder to shoulder with him and had a small blush on her face. Seeing this I bit my lip and tried my hardest not to laugh as well, but looking at Raoul I noticed that he seemed angered by the two.

Raoul cleared his throat asking, "Philippi? Shouldn't you be home by now?"

Philippi gave his brother a wink and laughed, "What? And leave my little brother here all alone? Somebody has to look after you, and it seems I have met an intriguing and beautiful young lady at this Opera House as well. This is where they have been hiding all of the beauties, wouldn't you say?"

Meg giggled once again, playfully swatting Philippi on the arm. Raoul stood at this, offering me his hand so I could stand as well. Once I did he curtly said, "Well, we best be heading home now Philippi, it was a pleasure to see you again Meg. Come Philippi."

Philippi rolled his eyes sarcastically replying, "Yes, father."

Raoul turned and glared at Philippi, who raised his hands in a sign of surrender before taking one of Meg's hands, kissing it and silkily replying, "Until we meet again, Meg."

Meg blushed with a small smile, "Until we meet again...Philippi."

Philippi gave a dashing smile before striding down the steps where Raoul and I waited; at least the rain had stopped. I looked to Raoul and noticed the grim look on his face, and if looks could kill Philippi would surely be dead. He didn't seem fazed however; he just started to whistle a tune as we walked to our awaiting carriage.

Philippi opened the door for Raoul and I to step in, I thanked him before he climbed in as well and lay back comfortably. Raoul gave the driver the signal to go and we rode off in silence, I simply stared out the window as I tried not to notice the tension radiating off of Raoul.

Finally Raoul ended the silence by stating, "You will leave her alone."

Philippi and I both looked up in confusion. Philippi seeming to comprehend his brother's words before I did glared at him and demanded, "Why? What right do you have to tell me who I can and cannot court?"

I looked at Raoul shocked. Philippi taking an interest in Meg was a fantastic thing, why was Raoul so against it?

Raoul remained silent until finally he replied, "She is a friend of Christine's and if you were to break her heart she would never want to visit Christine at home because of you. For once you need to grow up and realize your weak constitution for beautiful women has consequences, and if you do not have better sense to control it then kindly pick your prey wisely."

Philippi's jaw clenched asking, "How would you know, brother dear, that I am not serious about this one? Meg is a very charming girl and an elegant dancer too."

Raoul's eyes held fire as he said, "You're not serious about Meg so leave her alone. I will not have you breaking her heart, are we understood?"

Philippi gave a stiff nod before glancing out the window and avoiding Raoul's gaze. I stared at Raoul out of the corner of my eye in contemplation. Maybe, just maybe, calling off the wedding wouldn't be such a bad idea. Raoul seems very possessive of Meg, but not in a brotherly way. Perhaps, Raoul cared for Meg like he cares for me, but it's too soon to tell. I'll have to watch him interact with her a while longer.

This could be a good thing.

Hey guys, I feel kind of bad that I updated with such a short chapter but it is an update, and this is what happens when you give me absolutely fantastic news on a Friday and I have a three day weekend. So, guess whose Show Choir is going to perform at the Carnegie Music Hall in New York?! Yep, MINE! We'll be there April 11-15, I can't wait! Okay, tell me what you thought,

1- Christine's reaction to Erik's story?

2- Her letter?

3- Meg and Philippi?

4- Raoul becoming defensive over Meg?

PLEASE READ AND REVIEW! 8D