The True Beauty Of A Withered Camellia: Bitter Heartache
Another night passed as the sun revealed itself to all of those residing inside of the Scarlet Peony's walls. Kiku along with both Francis and Feliciano made their way to the bathing chambers and proceeded to discuss what had happened last night before finishing and moving on to the other room to ready themselves for their outing that day.
It was the last few days before the new year and no customers were being taken in around this short period of time. All of the men would be escorted to the shrine as well as the shops on the way back before they would have to return to their places within the establishment they knew so well.
Kiku felt a sadness in his heart knowing that he would not be able to see his lover for the next few days, but he knew that their reunion would be all the better. He sighed to himself as he finished applying the make up to his small face. He made his way out into the hallway and towards the front of the establishment.
As he went towards the front, he felt his body come in contact with something broad; as he looked up to see what it was, he realized that it was one of the guards. Ryota stood silently there almost as if he hadn't noticed the small male's presence, "I'm terribly sorry, I wasn't watching where I was going," Kiku said as he smiled lightly.
Ryota simply nodded as he walked past Kiku, the small framed male in turn watched him walk away; Kiku's smile faded, "Why has he been acting so odd lately? It's almost as if he's trying to keep things brief with me..I wonder if it's something I said...or maybe did?" Kiku said quietly to himself as he tried to think back to a time where he might have wronged the man.
Kiku simply shrugged as he waited by the entrance for the rest of the men to finish getting ready; after everyone was done they set out with the guards behind them towards the shrine. The day was full of interesting events; Kiku prayed for a way to remain close to his lover Alfred as the others mingled in the distance.
Once he, along with everyone else was done, they made their way back towards the district so that they could set out to look through the different stores before returning. Kiku took the small amount of money he had managed to sneak out with him and approached a store that caught his interest.
There he saw something that looked unique to him, it was a necklace with a small glass vile attached to it, and inside of it the pieces of a white camellia, Waiting... Kiku thought to himself as he went gently towards the necklace, took the item into his hand and went to the front of the store with it. "How much for this?" Kiku asked softly, now slightly saddened.
Kiku pulled out the requested amount and handed it to the clerk before taking the item, putting it on the inside of his kimono sleeve and leaving the store. I knew the time would eventually come...Kiku thought to himself as he made his way back towards the guards who then led the entire group back into the Scarlet Peony.
Kiku made his way back up the stairs and into the small room before sitting on his futon that he had neglected to put away. He thought back to last night, although the night's events were passionate, they were also filled with sadness.
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Alfred mentioned returning to America in order to take care of some unfinished business. He would be leaving by the end of the next month; when Kiku heard these words fall from the blonde man's lips, he felt his heart begin to drop as he imagined the void that Alfred would leave.
Alfred began to console him as the small framed male wrapped his arms around the American tightly not wanting to let go for fear that he would slip away. "Why don't you come with?" Alfred asked as he smiled at Kiku. He tapped him playfully, "You know I wouldn't be able to...who knows what would happen to both of us if we were caught?" Kiku said as he moved closer to Alfred.
Alfred merely sighed as he placed his scarf around his neck, stood and made his way to the shoji before shutting it gently behind him. Kiku watched him from the window as he made his way out of the district.
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Kiku shook his head as he let himself come back to the present, "I shouldn't spend our last moments moping like this, when he comes back, I'll make sure that we can be happy for a little longer before he leaves," Kiku said quietly as he let himself dose of into a light slumber.
Meanwhile, the others were downstairs conversing with one another, this left the room where they slept empty with the exception of Kiku. The silence was broken by the sliding of the shoji, Sadiq slowly entered the room and moved towards the chest that was on the other side of the small framed male; as he went to place the small book back inside of the chest, he was once again distracted by the beauty of Kiku.
Sadiq attempted to resist the temptation inside of him but to no avail, he placed the book on the ground and knelt next to Kiku's unmoving frame. So delicate...Sadiq thought to himself as he let one hand hover mere inches over the small framed males body before moving up towards his face and ever so gently brushing the black strands of hair off of his face.
His fingertips just barely grazed over Kiku's cheek, Sadiq stood still for a moment until he was sure that Kiku would not awaken. Sadiq smiled down at him ever so lightly, "I only wish you could see how much you mean to me..." Sadiq said quietly under his breath as he felt himself moving closer and closer towards Kiku's lips.
"Kiku..." Sadiq said softly as he let his thumb glide gently over the small framed male's bottom lip, it quivered lightly when Sadiq did that. So soft...Sadiq thought as he allowed his lips to finally make contact with Kiku's petal like lips.
When Sadiq did this, he felt time slipping away from him, reality no longer existed, he was living for the moment and enjoying all of it. The sweet nectar that was Kiku drew him in even more, the warm flesh that had only been presented to the blonde man who he gave himself to every night had finally touched hislips.
Sadiq slowly opened his eyes before moving away for a moment; only to let his lips come down once again, this time harder than the last. His hand began wandering around Kiku's body as he slept, completely unaware of what was being done to him. Sadiq kissed the small framed male's long slender neck, earning a whimper from Kiku.
Sadiq smiled as he began to apply more pressure to each of the kisses that he placed around Kiku's neck, Kiku began to move slightly unbeknownst to Sadiq who at this point was hovering mere inches away from his body; one large hand on each side of him boxing him in.
Kiku's eyes slowly began to open, he saw only a blurred image of a large figure, "Mmm...Alfred?" Kiku asked curiously. His eyes began to adjust and he immediately froze once he didn't see the familiar locks of golden hair.
His heart sped up as his eyes widened, "W-What are you doing?" Kiku asked. "G-Get off of me..who do you think you.." before Kiku could finish his statement, the man raised his head to reveal his face. "Kiku..." Sadiq said lightly.
"W-Why are you doing this Ryota?" Kiku asked taken aback by the guard's sudden behavior. Kiku's stomach turned inside of him, he had placed his trust in the man who at that very moment was violating him.
"P-Please stop this!" "Ryota...I know you are a good person...you would never do something like this," Kiku said trying to reassure himself. Sadiq stopped for a moment and sat up. "You wouldn't understand my motives," Sadiq said as he held Kiku's frail wrists firmly against the ground. Kiku began to flail and kick underneath the weight of the guard holding him down.
"P-Please just stop! I'll call for one of the others if you don't.." Kiku said trying to coax the larger male into leaving him alone. Sadiq laughed before looking back down into the dark brown eyes of the porcelain skinned male, "Who do you think they'd believe...a guard or a common prostitute?" the room was enveloped in silence after the words fell from the Turkish man's lips.
Kiku was stunned and hurt by his comment, Sadiq thought about the words he had just uttered, "Kiku... I didn't mean..."Sadiq started to say as he was cut off by the small male. "You really are...the worst, I-I can't believe that I...I actually trusted someone like you," Kiku said as a single tear made it's way down his cheek before more began to follow.
Sadiq's sympathy for Kiku suddenly vanished, "Someone like...me?" "How do you think I feel about you?" Sadiq said as he stood and towered over the small framed male. "What is this all of a sudden?" Kiku asked still in complete shock of the guard's behavior towards him. Sadiq ran his fingers through his hair looking completely distraught.
"How unobservant can you be?" Sadiq asked as his eyes pierced Kiku's. "I-I don't understand..." Kiku said as he looked down and away. "But of course," Sadiq said as he glared at the small framed male. "Don't you get it? I've admired you since the first time I saw you Kiku..." "I'm the one whose made sure you've been alright these past few years, I even saved you from those thugs the first time around," Sadiq said while trying to contain his anger.
Sadiq looked up at Kiku's raven black hair and noticed the red lacquered comb, "Even that brush that "Alfred got you"...it was my doing, that note... everything...it was me!" Sadiq said as he let out a frustrated sigh.
"No...I don't believe you... y-you're probably just envious of Alfred..." Kiku said softly underneath his breath. Sadiq was silent for a moment as he looked back towards Kiku, "What did you just say to me?" Sadiq said as he took hold of Kiku's shoulders tightly and shook him. "Ah...p-please Ryota..you're hurting me..."
"Say it again!" Ryota kept his tight grip on Kiku's body. "Please...just go..." Kiku said. "Not until you repeat what you just said!" Sadiq replied as he began to raise his voice. "You're probably...envious of ...Alfred," Kiku said as he looked down, too intimidated to glance directly into the guard's eyes.
"He doesn't deserve you anyways...he's young and foolish...you're wasting your time with a boy like that...he should just go back across the ocean!" Sadiq said harshly as he smirked. Skin could be heard colliding with skin as Kiku slapped Sadiq, the sound echoed throughout the room as fresh tears began to fall from Kiku's eyes.
"Don't you ever talk that way about him! He...he's in love with me and I'm in love with him!" Kiku said as he began to weep softly. "Now please...just...leave this room..." Kiku said softly as he turned his head away from the guard.
Sadiq made his way over towards the shoji before coming to a complete halt, "We could have been happy together but you choose that fool...I hope you are content with you're decision," Sadiq said as he made his way out of the room closing the shoji behind him leaving the room enveloped in complete silence.
Kiku continued to weep until his eyes stung, he began putting his futon away when he noticed his journal lying beside him. With out a thought, he picked it up and placed it gently back into the chest underneath the other things before closing it and making his way downstairs and into the bathing chambers to clean his face.
He did not want to alarm the others, he wanted things to seem as though they had never changed within the last hour. Kiku wanted to feel clean again; he wanted to wash away his sadness so that he could abandon it and move on to a better tomorrow.
Sorry for the long hiatus, I've been getting loaded up on assignments, and when I finally do get free time I'm too tired to do anything. Well I was also trying to figure out a way to end this chapter the way I wanted to so that I could get a nice affect since we're (unfortunately) drawing towards the end of the story. This chapter had alot of drama towards the end. It'll all tie together very nicely because of it. ^_^
* White camellias in Hanakotoba or "Language of flowers" mean 'Waiting'
Thank you to all of you who continue to read dispite my hiatus' every so often, I hope you all enjoy the chapter and as always please review, thank you again. Enjoy!~