Okay again if you'll allow me to just vent again here. My horse is an ASS! I spent three hours this morning body clipping him (which granted if I had clipped him a few weeks ago it wouldn't have taken that long to do) because he was resembling a wooly mammoth rather than a horse. THEN I go to ride, but oh no his hock is all puffy and sore and he just has to limp, limp, limp because he's a big pussy. So I get off and put him in the outdoor arena to see if maybe he works out of the soreness. What does he do? RUN RUN RUN BUCK BUCK BUCK and not little bucks either, but huge, my back feet are actually over my head bucks. I'm like 'glad to see your hock isn't a problem when I'm not riding you ASS' So then he finds the only mud puddle and proceeds to roll in it so that when he gets up he and his freshly laundered sheet are DRIPPING WITH MUD!! He's flipping lucky it's pretty warm today (yeah last week it's 30 and snowing today it's almost 70 and sunny....you know the old saying, if you don't like the weather in Ohio wait five minutes). So alas my horse looks like a disgusting pig and I had to hose him down, walk him with his cooler till he dried and then put on a heavier stable blanket because his flipping sheet is caked with mud. AND THAT WAS MY MORNING. Okay I'm done.

Chapter title taken from the song "Wicked Sensitive Crew" by Dropkick Murphys from the album "The Warrior's Code".

Quil, Seth, Embry & Jacob: October 30 7:04 PM

"Oh my God, I am seriously going to lose it." Quil stormed up to Seth. "Let's go get a drink. I definitely need one today."

Seth glanced over at Quil. "Uh-oh. I know that tone. Claire trouble? I would think, you know with today being the day and all…."

"Right?! I don't get it. I mean she's turning into a tease now? A year ago I had to pry her off of me and now I can barely get my hands on her."

Seth shrugged. "Maybe she's a little overwhelmed by the whole idea of you guys finally getting to be together," he said.

"Maybe," Quil sighed. "All I know is that I am so hard up right now, I'd be willing to sleep with you."

Seth gave Quil a sympathetic look. "Well, I appreciate the sentiment, but I have a girlfriend."

"You know I am really hurt right now," Embry's voice piped up from behind them.

Quil and Seth both turned around to face him. "What the hell are you talking about?" Quil asked.

"You'd choose to sleep with Seth over me? What's wrong with you? We're supposed to be best friends."

"Embry, I would choose you but…..I mean I know you. I'd get all attached and then you'd never call me. I couldn't handle that kind of rejection." Quil gave Embry a pitiful look.

"Screw you man, I would totally call you," Embry snapped.

Quil threw his hands in the air. "All right fine, I'd sleep with you."

Embry shook his head. "No, you can't just change your answer like that. You said you'd rather sleep with Seth than me."

Quil gave him a strange look. "Dude, it was hypothetical. And I said I'd sleep with you."

"You're full of it. You changed your answer. It doesn't count."

"Does it even matter?"

"It does, it totally does because it's coming from a completely false place. You just said it to placate me, which I don't appreciate by the way."

"Why are you so upset about this?" Quil was getting very confused. "You do realize that I'm not really going to sleep with you, right?"

"That's not the point," Embry snapped.

"Well what the hell is the point then?"

"The point is that you are assassinating my character. I mean I'm not emotionally retarded. I have feelings you know." Embry pouted.

"Okay, I'm sorry. I'm sure you would call me and I would choose you over Seth. Are you happy now?"

Embry gave a satisfied nod. "I'm glad you came around. Now, did someone say something about drinks? I'm totally parched." He turned and headed for the coolers.

Quil and Seth looked at each other and burst out laughing.

"Only Embry," Quil said. "Now I really need a drink."

They started to follow Embry, when Jacob walked up to them.

"What's up motha-fuckahs," Jacob said jovially.

"Now where the hell have you been? I mean Seth was late but you're just plain tardy." Quil scolded.

"Sorry, I know, I was dealing with a Charlie thing."

Quil and Seth both nodded. "How is he doing anyway?" Quil asked.

Jacob shrugged. "Okay. He's not loving retirement. I think he gets really bored. He's talking about going to visit with Bella and Edward again. He hasn't been to see them in about a year or so."

"Well then he should go. Where's your wife by the way?" Quil glanced around.

Jacob jerked his thumb over his shoulder. "Giving the birthday girl her regards."

"Good, good." Quil's eyes suddenly widened. "Hey, maybe she can work the whammy on Claire. You know, show her why she loves me and is supposed to not torture me."

"Umm, I don't think Nessie is going to approve of showing Claire memories just so you can get lucky," Seth said.

"Well what the hell is she good for then?" Quil snapped.

"I'll remind you that you are talking about my wife," Jacob said. "And that being said, remember. Mean people suck."

Quil made a face. "Yeah, hey Jake, the nineties called. They want their lingo back."

"You are really frustrated, aren't you?" Jacob gave Quil an amused look.

"Dude, she is driving me crazy. And to top it off I just had to spend ten minutes reassuring Embry that I would sleep with him over Seth, given the choice."

Jacob frowned. "I don't even want to know what the hell that's all about."

Quil sighed. "Just forget it."

"GUYS!" Embry was waving spastically from across the yard. "I THOUGHT WE WERE GETTING DRINKS!"

Quil shook his head. "We better go over there. He's feeling very fragile today. He has feelings you know."

The three of them walked over to join Embry.

"What the hell were you guys doing?" Embry gave them all a narrowed eyed look. "Were you talking about me?"

"No we weren't talking about you," Jacob assured him. "I mean the world doesn't revolve around you."

"That's right, it revolves around Quil," Seth said.

Quil nodded. "That is true," he agreed.

Embry grabbed three beers and passed them out.

They stood drinking in silence for a moment when Julie walked up.

"Seth, can I talk to you for a minute?"

Seth nodded. "Sure," he followed Julie away from the group.

Embry watched their progress for a moment, then shook his head and turned to Quil and Jacob. "That's never good."

Quil frowned. "What's never good?"

Embry patted Quil on the shoulder. "You wouldn't understand seeing as how your girlfriend hasn't lived long enough to perfect the art of 'can I talk to you'. See when a women says she wants to talk to you it's never good. She never says 'hey I thought about it and yes I would love to have a threesome with that hot chick you saw at the bar the other night' or 'you are so right a morning blow job is the perfect way to start the day'. It's always some crap about feelings or problems or stuff that you're doing that pisses her off."

"Interesting," Quil said. He sipped his beer, then looked over at Claire. "It looks like they're finally going to do presents. We better head over. I can't wait till Claire sees what I got her."

"What'd you get her?" Embry asked.

Quil just gave him a smug smile.

"He got her a car," Jacob said.

"No shit," Embry gave Quil an impressed look. "How'd you afford that?"

"He bought a Civic that was totaled and got this gullible friend of his to slave over it with him for the last few weeks to fix it up," Jacob replied.

"Oh, that silver one you've had in your head? Nice. I didn't know that was for Claire. I thought you were going to resell it. Well played my friend. If that doesn't part the proverbial 'waters' I don't know what will."

Quil smacked Embry on the head. "Shut the fuck up man."

"Jesus," Embry rubbed his head. "You know you're very violent when you're sexually frustrated."

"Can we please just go over there?" Quil abruptly turned and made his way towards Claire.