Losing It ~ SoapyMayhem

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

I want to thanks Twimarti, by beta and xrxdanixrx my validation beta from Twilighted.

Sorry about the delay in posting. I have tried to get on a writing schedule so I can work on all my WIP's equally, and it caused me to avoid writing like the plague for a few weeks. I intend to finish this soon and I only for see maybe 4 or 5 more chapters. For those who asked. there will be a lemon. I promise!

See you guys at the bottom!

Chapter 14 **The Twilight Zone Pt. 2**

~*Bella Swan*~

Slack-jawed, I watched as the curvy, blonde slid her fingers into Edward's hair flirtatiously as they chatted with Alice and Jasper. Edward seemed embarrassed by her attention and playfully swatted at her hand while shaking his head shyly. Though he had pushed her away it was in a teasing manner as though he hadn't truly minded.

I had been slowly working up the courage to approach Edward, even though his sister probably hated me and I knew nothing of the new admirer he'd collected in my absence, but the idea was dead before it could even take shape in my thoughts when I noticed Jessica and Lauren approach the girl excitedly. She squeezed Edward's arm in show of affection and then waved goodbye to Alice and Jasper before hooking arms with my former friends and sashaying off toward my direction.

As they passed, Lauren and Jessica appeared to have not even noticed my presence.

I felt an irrational hatred for this new girl, and it wasn't just because she was with my friends, or that she was getting 'handsy' with Edward, though that certainly had me seeing red. It was because she'd obviously succeeded in the one thing I never could - never tried. She had bridged the gap.

This perfect, tall, Clearasil cover-girl, had managed to make friends with the popular kids and the so-called 'losers' of the school at the same time. She had succeeded in every way I'd failed and much to my dismay, had been here for Edward when I was a raving bitch, who never would have spoken to him in the first place, if I hadn't needed to use him for my own personal gain.

There was no competition. She would win. She already had.

I had been fooling myself if I thought that I could suddenly come back and be sweet to Edward in front of everyone - maybe hold his hand - and somehow all the awful shit I'd said and done to him and his sister or any other unpopular kid in the past, would easily be forgotten.

I was fucked.

I was about ready to run and hide in the library until first period, when as if he could sense my presence, Edward looked up from his apparently amusing conversation with Alice and caught me staring. Quickly his face wiped itself clean of emotion as he regarded me carefully. I blushed under his sudden scrutiny and adjusted my glasses, unnecessarily when I felt the need to do something with my hands.

I knew he could sense how ill at ease I was when he gave me a confused glance and excused himself from Alice and Jasper before walking toward my direction. I simply chose not to look at the scowl I was sure Alice would be sporting just for me, and tried to smile at Edward. My smile probably looked more like a grimace.

The closer and closer Edward got, the more I began to panic. This feeling was the sole reason I had ignored his texts and phone calls all week long. I wasn't sure what to say. How about "I am sorry for trying to have sex with you to get another guy to want me, but can I still have sex with you anyway?" or "Even though I ruined the most amazing date ever, would you be opposed to forgetting it and taking me on another one?" That shit sounded so pathetic and it wasn't enough for that matter. I felt like I owed him more, but now that he had this new girl, I wouldn't stand a chance. I didn't deserve one.

My erratic thoughts were put on hold as Edward approached me with almost a pitying expression his beautiful face. I wanted to cry. I never cried.I must have looked like shit for him to look at me that way. I certainly felt like shit.

When he was in finally standing there in front of me, I looked toward the ground unable to meet his eyes.

"Hey," I muttered quietly.

"Good morning, Bella," he replied, his tone wary.

The silence was defining, and I was fairly certain he was waiting on an explanation, but before I could give him one, I caught sight of his feet retreating down the hall.

My lips quivered and my eyes watered, but I held back the impending breakdown and headed toward my locker. Alice moved into my line of sight, and I could tell she had words for me - angry hateful words of warning that would only shatter the unsteady wall that was precariously holding my fragile ego together. Before she could open her mouth to tear me a new one, Jasper grabbed her arm and pulled her away. I couldn't help but be relieved knowing that he'd sensed I was about to break and prevented Alice from kicking me while I was down.

I stood at my locker for a few minutes using the door as if it were a shield that could protect me from the hell of my own making. I was pathetic, and I'd never felt so alone in my entire life. And much to my surprise, the moment I was most vulnerable, James was suddenly standing by my side.

"Bella, Bella, Bella, are you doing this on purpose just to tease me for turning you down last weekend?" he asked mischievously.

"What?" I snapped, hating to be reminded of that awful night.

"Feisty," he teased chuckling, "I'm referring to your little outfit - the sexy nerd look. It makes me so fucking hard."

My body stiffened, and all my instincts were telling me to run from this predator, but I was frozen in place.

"Bella, first period doesn't start for ten more minutes and I couldn't possibly focus in class knowing your somewhere in this building looking like that, unless I get some kind of release. So, why don't you hurry up, grab your books and follow me to the boiler room," he whispered rakishly.

"James, I thought you wouldn't fuck virgins," I replied weakly.

"I won't, but I'll still fuck that pretty mouth," he whispered in my ear using a seductive tone.

James' proposition left me feeling nauseated, but I needed an ego boost so badly that I was seriously considering doing it. What was left to stop me? I'd lost everything else, and here was James, offering me something - anything.

Since it appeared as though Edward hated me now and had moved on to someone who was probably perfect for him, I would just have to move on as well. The only problem was the fact that I was pretty sure I had accidentally fallen in love with him.

I realized James was looking at me expectantly with a brow arched and his eyes filled with unbridled lust. I averted my eyes uncomfortably, a when I did, I caught sight of Edward down the hall drinking from the water fountain, seemingly without a care in the world.

I closed my eyes and counted to ten, hoping to wake from this nightmare, and when I opened them, everything in my life was just as fucked as before.

A/N

Who feels bad for Bella now? What is going on with Edward? Who likes Tanya?

I love to hear your opinions and theories!

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