I do not own Attack on Titan

"Hey, you never told me what happened after Connie and I went back that night. How did it go?" Marco smiled hopefully at Jean, who stirred his soup quietly. Seeing his reaction, Marco's face fell. "What happened?"

Jean glanced over at Naomi across the room. She was sitting with Reiner, Bertolt and Annie. The four of them were laughing as Connie and Sasha tried to cram as much bread as they could into their mouths. Naomi seemed content and perky as usual. It made Jean frown even more.

To answer Marco's question, Jean bluntly said, "I blew it."

"Well, what happened?"

"I gave her my vest to wear, and then we started walking back. She was stepping on rocks and twigs in her bare feet, so I gave her a piggyback ride. Then she started humming and put her head on my shoulder. It was going really good until I got freaked out and then we started talking about what happened that morning and Jaeger. One thing led to another and I yelled that she annoyed me."

Marco shook his head in dejection. "Jean."

"I know!" Jean sighed. "Can't you just go up to her and clear things up?"

"No. That wouldn't be the same. You've hurt her feelings and trust in you. You've got to own up to your actions, Jean."

"I don't even know what to say."

"Just say sorry," Marco advised. "Then go from there."

Jean reflected on what Marco said, picking out all the strange ingredients in his soup. Suddenly he growled and slammed his fist against the table.

"What am I doing? I've got other things to worry about, like the final assessment coming up in a couple of months."

With that said, Jean returned to eating his food, Marco giving him a withered look.

*O*O*

Reiner Braun: A strong soldier, physically and mentally. Excels at teamwork and is trusted by all of his comrades.

Armin Arlert: While lacking in physical strength, he's demonstrated an extraordinary aptitude for his studies.

Annie Leonhart: Her strike form is flawless, but she works poorly with others and tends to isolate herself.

Bertolt Hoover: He has great potential, but lacks initiative.

Jean Kirstein: A master of 3D Maneuvering Gear, his brash personality often causes friction with the team.

Sasha Blouse: She has unconventional, good instincts, but they make her unsuited for teamwork.

Connie Springer: He demonstrates superior physical agility, but lacks mental acuity.

Mikasa Ackerman: A master in all areas. Her talent is unprecedented and she is considered one of the best trainees in our history.

Eren Yeager: While not currently exceptional in a given area, his iron will has improved him drastically, and he possesses the greatest motivation out of all the trainees.

Naomi Peters: 3D Maneuvering Gear abilities are average, but her cunning and analytical skills give her a good edge.

I stood alongside my friends at the front of the class, swelling with pride at my achievement. All the sweat and blood those years rewarded me with a wonderful result—seventh place. I'd be getting into the Military Police. If Papa were there, he'd smile in approval. Overflowing with joy, I wanted to yell out in the streets about my success. Instead, I contained it and listened to the graduation speech.

Mikasa made first place, which wasn't a surprise to me. She was truly a well-rounded soldier. Then Reiner, Bertolt, and Annie each placed second, third and fourth respectively. Between just the three of them, it was really close. I thought Annie could have very easily made second. Eren placed fifth with Jean earning sixth, me seventh and Marco eighth. Connie got ninth and Sasha tenth.

For the rest of the evening, I was on cloud nine. It was like a huge weight had been lifted from my shoulders. For our graduation, we made the trip to the Garrison HQ in Trost where the ceremony took place. Dinnertime was in the Head Quarters' dining hall. I was running around chatting with all my friends, buzzing with spirits and cheerfulness. Sasha and I bumped mugs in congratulations, spilling the contents over the rims of our mugs.

"Whoohoo!" Sasha cheered. "We're going to get into the Military Police!"

"Congrats Little Mouse," Reiner offered. "Now all we have to wait for is you to grow taller than Bertolt."

Bertolt and Reiner laughed heartily at the old joke while I tried to make a smart comeback. They just slapped me on the back, causing me to spill more of the contents of my drink.

Ymir and Krista were sitting by themselves, enjoying each other's company. I remembered that in order to get my spot, I had to kick someone off of the top ten. Ymir was more than qualified for the top ten. She deserved my spot more than me. But for some reason, she didn't even try to make it. I suspected it was because Krista didn't have a chance, so she wanted to stay with her.

Armin didn't make it either, mostly because he wasn't physically gifted. But his brains sure put him above the rest of us.

I noticed Jean sitting down at a table by himself, an unsatisfied look gracing his face. It had been months since I'd actually hung out with him. The disappointment in my heart had lessened in that amount of time, and I eventually forgave him for the things he said. Even though I didn't know why he said those things, I couldn't deny that I missed his company and his side of himself that only Marco and I knew. I got the impression that maybe he didn't mean the things that he said. I was ready to be friends again, only if he'd accept me.

"Hey," I said to him.

He looked up at me, a flash of something registering in his eyes. Jean continued to give me a resentful look.

"Cheer up. You're in the top ten. You've finally gotten everything you wanted."

Without waiting for him to answer, I walked off to rejoin the jovial group of friends nearby.

I was talking with Sasha and Connie when Thomas Wagner suddenly yelled, "Are you insane?"

It was loud enough to catch the attention of everyone in the dining hall. Thomas was standing by Eren and his friends, concern on his face.

"How many people have died? We're talking a fifth of the population. If that doesn't paint a picture for you, I don't know what will." Thomas stated, "This is our life now. We can't beat them."

The room was heavy with the burden of truth. It was the unspoken defeat that we'd all come to grips with. The light, joyful atmosphere was brutally crushed by the object of all our fears.

"Yeah, so what?" Eren refuted, his determined voice filling the hall. "We buckle? Take it all lying down? Things have changed—maybe not a hell of a lot, but enough. They aren't the mystery they were five years ago. There's still a long way to go, but we've made progress. Every battle we've lost has taught us a lesson—gave us the tiniest inroad towards something like hope."

Everyone in the hall hung on his every word, sifting and chewing it thoughtfully in intense silence. If Eren hadn't gotten everyone's attention before, he definitely had undivided attention now.

"You're telling me it's better to cut our losses? Let all the death and destruction be meaningless? Just to ball it up and accept it? Not on your life! Humanity's future lies outside the walls, and I'm going to clear the way! I'm going to take back what is ours. I'll drive them out, and as long as at least one of us can say that, we're not done."

Eren suddenly took off out of the hall, leaving everyone stunned. Mikasa and Armin chased after him. For the rest of the night, the atmosphere wasn't the same. I became aloof for the rest of the evening, going over Eren's impromptu speech.

When I returned to the girls' wing of HQ, I changed into my blouse and patched deep green skirt for a stroll around Trost. I was walking along one of the lit main streets of the city, the stars twinkling above me. It never occurred to me how caged we had made ourselves. I was starting to see how the world wasn't really as big as I had dreamed.

If the world we knew was going to keep getting smaller, there wouldn't be enough room to house the gypsy clans anymore. If another wall fell, I don't think the gypsy population could escape another sacrifice for the overall population.

That would mean my brothers, my father, the Sindhi, no matter how loved we are by the aristocracy for our music and entertainment, would be thrown aside like ragdolls in exchange for survival. I'd lose everything, but gain my life. I couldn't bear thinking about them marching beyond the interior into titan territory where their remains would decay.

Had I been working all this time towards my own kind's demise?

I expected that if I walked long enough through the streets of Trost that Dezzy would eventually find me. When I was sitting down on a bench stargazing, I heard someone sit down on the other end. I didn't have to look to know who it was.

"Hey," I greeted, keeping my eyes towards the stars.

"Hey," he answered. "I saw your graduation ceremony. Top ten star!"

He reached over to playfully punch my arm. I made no response.

Instead, I commented, "Have you ever wondered if the stars look different from the outside of the walls? Like, would the big dipper still be right there in the sky if you were outside or would it be in another place?"

"What brought this up?"

I looked down at my hands, playing with a string from my worn skirt. "What's going to happen to you guys after I join the Military Police?"

"We're going to be just fine."

"What if in the next five years, there's another Titan attack and Wall Rose falls? I'll be in the Military Police keeping the peace while the gypsies will once again be flushed out and the first to join the retrieval operations. It won't be fine. I'll be sending you to your deaths."

Dezzy stopped, mulling over my words. "You think we'd be shipped off?"

I nodded.

Trying to lighten the mood, he joked, "Don't worry sis. We're gypsies. We've got the earth energy—"

"Stop it!" I cut him off. "It doesn't exist! There's no such thing as earth energy. I can't live with myself if you and the others cannot be spared. This all doesn't mean anything if I can't use my own two hands to protect you."

"Mimi," Dezzy warned. "You can't."

"If I have to face a titan, I'll gladly do so if it helps avoid another hole in the wall."

"Mimi!" Dezzy barked. "Don't you value your life at all?"

"I do! I'm scared. But my life in exchange for our population is selfish. I'm joining the Scout Regiment."

"Papa won't like hearing this. He specifically wants you to join the Military Police."

I admitted, "I can't do it. Not knowing that our clan can't be there."

"Why do you think Papa encouraged you to join the military, hm? Just because he wanted one less mouth to feed, or because it would make the neighbors jealous? He pushed you because he wants to save you. We all know the dangers of living the way we do.

"Do I wish that I could join? Yes. I wish I did join when I had the chance. But I'll find a way to survive when that day comes. Our brothers? Papa is trying to get them apprenticeships within the interior. He isn't just trying to save you, he's trying to save Soini, Niven, Ellie and Harlan. Papa is quite aware of the future. So don't throw away your chance."

I stood up to return back to HQ, resentment boiling within me.

Before I left, Dezzy proclaimed, "I read the bones today. Something big is going to happen tomorrow. They didn't tell me what it was exactly, but I got the feeling I need to get out of here. I know you can take care of yourself, so I'm heading out tonight. Be safe, Naomi."