Tatsuki Arisawa, while on her break, decided to check out the rest of the Seireitei. And maybe try to beat that blue-haired guy that had been terrorizing the outskirts of Rukongai. But she'd heard that Ikkaku and Yumichika had gone to go take care of him, so she decided maybe that wasn't such a good idea. She hadn't been in the Soul Society for long, but she'd soon learned that members of Squad Eleven were very possessive of their opponents.
Also they were all obsessed with Ichigo for some reason.
Actually, everyone was obsessed with Ichigo.
Maybe the reason she wasn't a main character was because she wasn't obsessed enough with Ichigo.
There's some food for thought.
But, anyway.
Maybe she should visit Mizuiro? No, he was probably busy. Last she'd heard he'd been made the lieutenant of Squad Three. Even though Tatsuki was pretty sure that Squad Three already had a lieutenant. But that didn't matter, probably. It wasn't like Squad Three was going to rise from the ashes of the Soul Society and take over the Soul Society, causing the Royal Guard to come down right after Squad Three nearly destroyed everybody.
And it wasn't like the Royal Guard was going to take Ichigo (and Rukia and Renji and Byakuya, for some odd reason) away.
And it wasn't like Unohana was actually some former psychopath and that she was going to go fight with Kenpachi and it's not like they were going to see cute, young, Lord of the Flies-esque Kenpachi.
Wait, what?
That's just the recent manga chapters, replacing Quincies with Squad Three?
Where did that come from?
Anyway, anyway, anyway. Tatsuki was wandering around, when she ran into someone who looked oddly familiar.
Said oddly familiar person swore at her and jumped to his feet.
Tatsuki looked up from her position on the ground. This person stretched up to about seven feet tall, long black hair – hey, where'd the eyepatch gone? – and weird teeth.
Nnoitra Jiruga.
"What are you doing here?" Tatsuki asked. Nnoitra folded his arms over his chest.
"Wouldn't you like to know," he said, sneering. Tatsuki jumped up.
"Yeah, I would, actually," she said. "You're an Arrancar-"
"Nope!" Nnoitra said, mouth stretching into a grin. "Not anymore, bitch. Full-fledged Shinigami. Not even a fuckin' lieutenant, though… hey! How the hell'd you get to be a lieutenant?"
"Guess you picked the wrong squad," Tatsuki said, smirking a little and turning to walk away. Nnoitra grabbed her arm, and Tatsuki looked back at him. "What."
Mizuiro thought that there was something maybe a bit wrong with his captain.
It wasn't the ever-present grin.
It wasn't the fact that whenever anyone visited Squad Three, Mizuiro had to take care of everything because whenever anyone saw Captain Ichimaru they either ran screaming in the other direction or tried to attack him. Or burst into tears. Or, on one memorable occasion, all three.
No, it was the fact that Captain Gin Ichimaru had left Rangiku Matsumoto at one point.
Any man who did that, even if it was to go kill some guy that had taken her spiritual pressure or whatever (Captain Ichimaru had explained this to him, but he hadn't really paid attention. He was too busy wondering why he'd abandoned Rangiku Matsumoto.), had to be certifiably insane. Or gay.
Was Captain Ichimaru gay?
No, Mizuiro didn't think so.
Captain Ichimaru was insane.
But now Squad Three had a few members. There was him, and Orihime was third seat, Ichigo was fourth seat, Ichigo's girlfriend was fifth seat (her name was Sun-Sun or something like that; Mizuiro wasn't very concerned about what her name was, she didn't matter.). They used to have one more, but he'd run off to join Squad Nine.
Stupid efficient Squad Nine.
Where was he going with this again?
Tesla Lindocruz was enjoying Squad Nine. After the abject horrors of him turning from Arrancar to Shinigami, he'd become the new fourth seat of Squad Nine, and also Shuhei Hisagi had convinced him to get a sixty-nine tattoo. It was on his shoulder, so that it wasn't quite as obvious. He wasn't quite sure how Orihime would react to it.
Better than Nnoitra, who was considering getting one on his tongue.
Tesla wasn't sure what was up with Nnoitra and tongue tattoos, but he was planning on getting Nnoitra those Fruit Roll-Ups that, if one were to press them on one's tongue, gives you tongue tattoos.
This was a great idea.
Once he had some time to get to the world of the living.
Unless he could convince Squad Twelve to make them…
Anyway. Tesla had quickly established himself in the office of the Seireitei Newsletter, and was now working on a piece about Arrancer to Shinigami-ness. They'd just gotten an issue of the Seireitei Newsletter out, of course, but this was a very intense time in the Soul Society, so there would probably be quite a few more.
Just as he was trying to figure out how to finish it off, Tia Halibel entered the room. She was still an Arrancar – Tesla had heard that everyone else had been turned Shinigami, apart from Grimmjow, who was still wandering around Rukongai, fighting people and looking for his small Shinigami friend – and Tesla wondered if he should sound the 'Arrancar Alarm.' Then he figured that she probably wasn't going to kill anybody because she was actually pretty reasonable.
"Um," Tesla said. "Hello."
"Hello," she said, then proceeded to block the door of the office, and all the windows. Tesla just kind of sat there and watched, feeling more awkward by the second.
"Um. What exactly are you doing?"
"They're chasing me," she said. "All of my Fracciones have been turned into Shinigami, and now they want to turn me, too."
"You probably should have headed for the Third Division," Tesla said. "They don't have standards and would probably just make you part of the Squad with no questions asks."
"I was there," she said. Tesla didn't know if he'd ever heard her talk this much before. "I do not like Gin Ichimaru."
"Does anybody?"
The real villain of Bleach and his hot ninja female friend were planning.
For their birthday which was in a month.
But also for taking over the world, using Squad Three as a red herring.
Also they had to decide what kind of cake to get.
and here we go