Author's Note: Sorry but this isn't a update. (ducks from rotten vegetables being thrown at me) I really, really wanted to update but some personal issues and my health got in the way. That and it's so hard to try to do something with the Lion King. Maybe I should have used another movie. That and I'm trying to change Kikyou's character. I now know why the creator of Inuyasha (who's name escapes me) made Kagome so damn annoying. Even if Kikyou has a excuse in this story. That doesn't leave ME with a excuse.

So I have yet another one-shot for you guys to read. In honor of your patience and the chapter before this.

Yay! I finally updated, lets all celebrate!

Now before you turn away from this and go, "I won't read this crap anymore" or "I'll wait for the actual chapter", there's somethings in this one-shot that has to do with the history surrounding the story! With the release of KH-Chain of Memories AND KH2 I've had to think long and hard about the "made up" history in this story.
That and this is a guy/guy one-shot. One sided, guy/guy that is.

DON'T TURN AWAY FROM THE COMPUTER DAMMIT! I CAN SEE YOU REACHING FOR THE DAMN CLOSE BUTTON AND YOU BETTER NOT EVEN THINK ABOUT IT!

Sorry for yelling, but I'm serious, this chapter has to do with the history of this story, so if you miss this one you'll be in the dark about future chapters. Okay? Got that? Good?

And before we start... Do any of you think I should change the description of Riku to match with how he looks at the end of KH-Chain of Memories? That and I will probably put a separate fan fiction up on my site that contains the early years of Riku in Kingdom Hearts and all the one-shots for this story that aren't in here and that appear in here.

Just wondering. Now please read and be patient with me. Thank you.

And sorry again about yelling at you all. :(

(Note: I already have put up another Riku/Kikyou story on my site, along with a one-shot with the same pairing as well. I'm working on putting together a collection of one-shots having to do with this story later. So if you are interested in this pairing, or want to read them, please be patient and go to my site. And yes this is a shameless advertisement in order for you to visit my profile page and website. Also, the opening lyrics are mine, so don't steel!)

Kingdom Hearts: Soul Taker

One-shot 2: Poison Reason

Honey, they tell me you're just like poison,

I can't deny that they might be right.

The vague words that you say, are they just to lead me on?

My poison,

you're my favorite flavor of poison, that's not a lie.

Even if I survive from this dose, I'm sure to die inside.

The deadly is always cute.

Just a little more each time,

I'm running to your tune only because the notes that you string sting.

Honey, I get shivers just when you call my name.

My poison,

you're my favorite out of all of them, only you can make me feel this way.

Even if you don't know the meaning of what I say, I do.

And that makes it all right.

Only the handsome can kill with such a look.

If only you were mine,

such a feeling can't be bought at the back of a "store".

If only your label came with a warning.

Just look my way, Honey, and I'll die right now!

Drowning in your poison,

Dying by my cheating heart...

A lie that's a side effect.

The doctors in my head warned me,

but I still want another dose!

Honey, you're a poison that I can't deny!

Lying here at the bottom of this volcano, at the end of these stairs, broken and besides the only woman that really understood me, I'm making my life flash before my eyes.

Was it really such a bad life? Was it really such a bad way to die? Was it really such a bad way to live, to wrap your life around a lie?

Visions of your innocence and then tarnished gold, I still can tremble.

If only you knew before you were kidnapped, if only I had been the one to set your heart a flame. But it was her not me. Figures, the ones that die are only the side-kicks.

And you never went after men. Unless you were drunk.

I can still see it, 10 years ago, when we met. We were younger then, Pocahontas, me, and you.

In 10 years we've changed so much.

"Li! Hey Li, maybe we should ditch the park and actually DO something with our time off from training!"

Li looked up at his partner from his sitting position on the park bench, Pocahontas grinned down at him. She always seemed to have a lot of energy, even though she was almost past her teenage years and was now 28. Her face seemed immortal, as beautiful at 28 as she was at 17. Never standing still, disliking boredom, and ignoring the rules. But even she should appreciate nature. Out of the two of them she was more connected with the earth, until today.

"Would you kindly buzz off, I'm trying to get in tune with nature here!"

Pocahontas danced away from him, her long raven hair whipping around her head as she looked over her shoulder and gave him a sad, mocking, smile. "What's the point, this isn't real nature. This is all fake. This park, us, everything, we're probably not even here. We might not even be real anymore."
"Don't say things like that..." He looked down at the ground and leaned forward to inspect a beetle next to his right shoe. "Maybe it's not real, maybe we really are dead, but we must make the most of the afterlife..."

Pocahontas looked down at him and then back up at the abnormally sunny sky. "If this is the life after death, I now know why no one wants to die. I hate being a fake person. I hate being a heartless..."

Li snapped his head back up and glared at her. "We're NOT heartless we-"

"We fight the heartless, but if we're part of the heartless because our hearts have been stolen then we are fighting ourselves! The heartless!" Pocahontas yelled back at him. Several people stopped to look at them and then continued on their way, already disinterested, just like they were always disinterested in everything. Even living.

Maybe Pocahontas was right, maybe that's why she tried to be so energetic. But the truth hurt too much to give in to her.

"Maybe you're right and in a few months we can officially fight ourselves. Look, I'm going to stay here a little longer, you're free to go..."

"Li I-"

Li stood up and quickly walked away, it wasn't worth sticking around to here her say a half-hearted apology even if she was right. Which she was.

Apologies, apologies, apologies! Like they could ever solve anything! No matter how much he said he was sorry, not matter how much he wished, no begged, for the clock to turn back so he could have another chance, things would continue to be this way. He would continue to live with a woman who blamed him for the destruction of their world. She would never forgive him for a plan that didn't work, not like hers was any better. Even if they had tried things her way they still would have lost. It was a hopeless battle from the start, Mulan knew it, he knew it, everyone knew it.

But blaming others is always better than admitting that you're wrong or at your wits end. The bonds that held them together were breaking, and there wasn't a damn thing either of them could do about it. Since the "incident" both of them had been living with strangers. Feeling like they are seeing each other for the first time.

'Maybe we're just too different, or maybe love can't exist for heartless...'

It was a depressing thought, but truth still rang within it. How could the dead love?

Li didn't quite know where he was walking. He turned to the right and walked through the shrubbery in his path. Before he looked up, he already knew where he was.

The well, the wishing well where he had been many times before. Never climbed down it, just threw a couple of coins in. The spot was surrounded by trees, far from the crowd, and quite peaceful. Just what he needed right about now.

He needed to find out what was worth living for. What was worth fighting for and continuing in such times.

With a heavy sigh, Li stepped over one last bush and entered the sunny clearing, lifting his head slowly he suddenly stopped in his tracks at the sight before his eyes, even going so far as to quickly intake his breath in a small hiss.

The sight was truly breath taking.

The boy, no the correct term would be young man since he appeared to be a teenager (maybe a few years younger shy of 20), before him was laying sprawled out on his stomach in front of the well. He was either asleep, or dead, but none of these conditions seemed to surpass his beauty. There was a half smile on his face, the youths platinum hair, which seemed to sparkle and grow even lighter in the sunlight, was slightly messy and his unusual violet and yellow clothes were ripped, but these flaws only enhanced his features.

luckily, his eyes were closed in sleep, the way that Li was staring at him was far from polite and far, far away from curiosity or amazement. The feelings that stirred within the man were also far, far, way far, from innocent too.

Startled to feel this way about a "kid" and to even see and start to feel his body reacting like this, Li mentally shook himself away from the boy and looked about him. Where could he have came from? He certainly wasn't a resident of Kingdom Hearts. The aura around the people that populated this place was faint, depressed, dark. But this person, this persons aura was light, slightly innocent, and with just a hint of growing darkness that could someday destroy him if he wasn't careful.

Even though his Reaper instincts told him to step forward, wake him, and start asking questions on who or what this person was, Li, not wanting to take the chance of doing something indecent, turned his back to run for it and get help. For himself and the boy behind him.

A small sound stopped him in his tracks. It was a groan. Apparently he was waking up.

Li couldn't stop himself from turning around, nor could he stop himself from walking toward the sleeping beauty.

Another groan, five more steps, and then a test of will. What would he do when he reached him? Thoughts of several possible endings flashed through his head, none of them good. All of then ending in some form of seduction and adultery.

Was he really this evil? Was it him or...the heartless in him?

The sleeping youth turned over on his back, Li's shadow fell across him, blocking out the sunlight but not erasing his youthful beauty. The boy at his feet had his mouth slightly parted, mumbling something that Li couldn't seem to hear. One of his hands, encased in black leather, brushed the tips of Li's boots, was he having a nightmare or a good dream?

The more important question though was: What was he going to do?

Before Li could stop himself he was already kneeling besides him, trying to shake him awake. His will gave out and he pulled him into his arms instead so now the sleeping kid was in his lap. Before he could do anything else he awoke.

The Sea, those were the colors of his eyes. An eerie combination of blue and green that reminded Li of a gentle but fierce ocean that drowned everything in it's wake. Drowning, what a perfect description of what he was feeling now. Even only half open, those eyes seemed to stop him in his tracks and make him feel guilty for what he was thinking and doing.

"...Sora?..." So he wasn't as young as Li previously thought, his voice was slightly deep, a young man's voice. Still young, but no longer a child. The young man was still half asleep though, his eyes were too far away for him to be awake.

Sallowing a lump in his throat, Li answered his question. "...No. I'm not-"

"I see..." The young man's voice turned from a questioning tone to one of deep sadness. "Of course not, I was left behind again..."

With another groan the young man attempted to get up, still too drowsy to use his own strength, he reached up and gripped Li's shoulders, accidentally pulling their faces closer. Before he knew what he was doing, and before the young man could notice anything odd about his saviors body, Li let his arms encircle the young mans waist.

Their eyes met again. Li's deep and intense, filled with a emotion that the young man couldn't understand. While the young man's eyes were confused, saddened, tired, and slightly fearful.

Their foreheads touched, both of their lips were slightly parted and brushing the others, both of their hands tightened their grip on the other. Thoughts unclear and actions running on instinct, adrenaline and body heat running the show.

Before anything could get too intense, soft footsteps stopped both of them from moving further.

"Li? What, who is this person?" Pocahontas's voice rang across the clearing, all she could see was Li's back and strands of platinum blond hair around and over Li's shoulders. Almost instantly the two pulled away, both of them breathing deeply from their moment interrupted. Li looked away from the young man, who was now off of his lap and sitting before him. Li waited a full two minutes, then stood up to answer Pocahontas

She was leaning against a tree, the same tree that Li had passed, her face was full of confusion and fear from the strange energy in the air. Li seemed to be a completely different person to her, then the air changed and Pocahontas attempted to smile but failed.

"What's going on?" That smile, turned into a grimace as she saw that he didn't have an answer.

Sallowing another lump in his throat, then running a hand through his loose hair, Li made up a half-lie. "Seems we have a missing persons case. We should go back to the station."

At the station, more questions then answers appeared.

Was this boy telling the truth? Could Ansem and the heartless really be defeated? They were defeated?

Did that mean that everything would go back to normal? If so how come they weren't all back in their worlds. How come he was here then?

Could this boy, Riku, be telling lies?

"I'm not sure if I can explain it all. You just have to believe me on this one. If I had all the answers to everything, I would tell you. I just can't explain it." Riku's tired and frustrated voice seemed to silence Frollo's angry glares. Frollo, the old bastard, already didn't like the kid. Through Pocahontas, who managed to see half of what Li saw, and Li, who had managed to almost do the unthinkable with Riku, seemed to like him.

And both seemed to believe him. He was just too different to not believe. That and his tale had several facts in it that were hard to deny.

"But none of this explains why we're still here!" Frollo shouted angrily and loud enough for the rest of the officers outside of his office to hear. Pounding his fists on his desk, then waving a accusing, arthritis, withered finger in Riku's face he continued. "If you're telling the truth then we should all be magically back home."

Riku stood up, slamming his hands on Frollo's desk and leaning forward to get in his face. "I already told you, you old bastard, I-DON'T-KNOW! I don't know why we're both not back home in our beds. All I know, I've already told you."

Li looked in shocked amazement at Riku, he didn't know he could get that angry. Looks can be deceiving after all. But his anger didn't change his opinion about him.

In fact, him shouting at his enraged boss just made him all the more desirable.

Pocahontas, who had said nothing since they arrived, now spoke up. "Maybe it's because this Sora closed and locked the door to Kingdom Hearts, maybe that's why we're not home. It would make sense after all, no one else ha s come from the other worlds since this boy has arrived and the darkness around Kingdom Hearts has seemed to lighten slightly."

Riku sat back down, Frollo stopped shouting, and for once Li looked at something other than Riku, Pocahontas's words had once again cut through to the truth. They were here because the price for the rest of the universe to be happy was their misery.

Riku looked down at his hands before he spoke. "Now what?"

Frollo sat down and laced his hands underneath his chin. "That's for you to decide. You'll have to accept this like the rest of us have. This world, our world, must never know what has taken place in this room. I'll alert King Mickey if he's still around that-"

Riku stood back up, his face a mixture of hope and surprise. "The King's still alive!?"

Frollo looked up at him, a wiry and astonishingly mean grin coming to his face. "Yes, how else do you think this city started. The King gathered us together and told us to build. And slowly, this city was built. The King also started this, the Reapers, a agency that's sole task is to control crime and get rid of the heartless. Along with some other useful items and weapons, laws and codes of conduct. Then he left."
Riku's hope vanished in an instant, displaced with despair. "Left?"

"Yes, "left". Some think that he might still be around, but his last words: "I'm leaving for the light" seems to point that he got his ass out of dodge before the doors could close and left us behind like so much trash that was only useful for a time. So now we have a pathetic do-gooder mayor and a bunch of desperate whelps for people. It might have been better for you boy if you had died."

Riku said nothing after Frollo's cruel speech had ended. The light had seemed to be extinguished from him. He no longer had any fight left in him at all. Frollo's words, no matter how cruel, were correct.

Li glanced at Riku, wanting to comfort him but knowing that another moment like the one in the park might happen. Instead he spoke to Frollo. "What should we do about him?"

Frollo turned toward Li. "You found him, so you take care of him. He's your problem now. The boy's underage, so he can't live alone. That and we don't have enough man power to go out and search the city for a family that will take him in. And he simply can't stay here. So he's your responsibility Li."

Dread filled Li, if they shared the same roof... NO, he must not let that happen!

Pocahontas, sensing his reluctant feelings, decided to help him. "I'll take care of him, I'm better with children. That is, if it's alright with you Li."

Li smiled weakly. It was more than alright, it was great. "Yes, that's fine with me."

Pocahontas also smiled and then turned to Frollo to start discussing the the details. Li glanced at Riku to see him staring at him. Riku seemed a little disappointed, yet relieved that he was going to be taken care of. The words he had said in the park, the words "I've been left behind again", rang throughout Li's head.

'Poor kid, it must be tough. I know what it feels like to be left alone, to be with strangers that you don't know if you can trust and just happy to not be alone, regardless of whether their trust worthy or not. Hopefully, nothing else will happen to you. I'll make sure you won't be hurt again. Even if I have to harm myself in order to see for your welfare. This feeling I have for you must be stopped...'

"Li? Did you hear what I said? Let' s go!"
Li looked up to see both Pocahontas and Riku at the door to Frollo's office. Riku was still staring at him, but this time he was holding Pocahontas's hand. Pocahontas's was waving a hand in front of Li's face. Li slapped her hand away and glared at her. More angry at himself for staring off into space then for Pocahontas's actions.

The trio left the station, Li on Riku's right, and Pocahontas's on Riku's left and holding his hand. Which, as Li looked at the two of them, made him slightly jealous.

Neither of the two seemed to notice his jealousy as Pocahontas cheerfully explained who they were. "I'm Pocahontas, but you can call me mommy if you want to. I've always wanted a cute kid like you anyway. And this jerk who found you is Li." Pocahontas winked at him as she explained this.

Riku scowled and let go of her hand. "I am NOT a kid. And I refuse to call you "mommy"!"

Pocahontas pinched one of his cheeks. "Awww, Li look, he's so cute when he's angry!"

Riku slapped her hand away, a blush spreading across his cheeks. This was very embarrassing for him, but it took his mind off of the unhappiness that had managed to bring them together.

"Yes, I have to agree with you on that point, "mommy"."

"I didn't' tell YOU to call me mommy you jerk!"

All three of them laughed at that. Laughing, even though inside it hurt to be here. Laughing because the three of them wouldn't be alone anymore. Laughing because there might not be a tomorrow.

Laughing just to live by dying all the while.

Over the years, as Riku stayed with Pocahontas who "adopted" Riku, Li and Pocahontas became closer. More closer then before Riku was here. Riku seemed to act as a kind of glue or magnet. People were attracted to his flamboyant personality, rough ways, and handsome good looks. Only Li and Pocahontas knew the darkness that lurked beneath the surface and his true history. And because of that the three of them became inseparable.

So it became no surprise when after Riku graduated from High School he decided to become a Reaper. It was only a matter of time really. Riku had a deep hatred of the heartless, a hatred that was almost a obsession.

But even that hatred couldn't destroy everything good about him, everything that Li loved about him.

Yes love, over the years as he had watched Riku grow up, his feelings for Riku had grown into something more than friendship or brotherly love. After all they weren't really a "family" anyway. Try as Pocahontas could, she couldn't dilute his feelings for Riku.

Pocahontas was probably the only one that suspected something. Riku on the other hand didn't. Any hints, odd behavior, or the fact that Li was constantly around him, didn't seem to make Riku suspicious. In fact he enjoyed the attention. More than anything, even the heartless, Riku hated being alone. They had all learned early on that Riku's one fear, the one thing he was paranoid about, was being left alone.

In the beginning, this fear that grew because of his experiences with Ansem, had grew to almost become unbearable. Just leaving him alone in a darkened room for over five minutes would reduce him to hysterics. It became so bad that Pocahontas had to take him everywhere with him. She grinned and bared it, knowing that she had the same fear, just in a different form.

But with help, a little guidance, and love he grew out of it. Not completely over the fear, but enough so it wouldn't control his life.

But he still wanted someone to be their when he woke up. That was the only thing he demanded.

So it was a actual surprise when he graduated from the academy (three years earlier than normal and with honers) and wanted to have his own apartment.

The news was presented with shocked silence, Pocahontas and Li stared at each other and then at Riku.

Riku, still in his black cap and gown from the graduation, sat against the open window ledge and fingered his black gloves which were laying in a pile on his lap. Another condition of his was that he didn't want to stop wearing the clothes they had found him in. Through he was occasionally forced to wear something else, especially when alterations had to be made in order for him to continue wearing the outfit. Riku had grown, he was now the age Li himself had been when he found him. Taller, with a deeper, richer yet still slightly light voice, and longer hair; he was still able to take Li's breath away. His beauty had grown up with him, so had that aura which had singled him out from the rest for all time.

Riku turned to look outside the window, it was still sunny outside, but there were clouds gathering in the west a sure sign that it was going to rain soon. With out turning back toward them, he spoke.
"You two do understand that this is what I really want. I want to see for myself if I can truly move on. It's starting to... It's starting to become a problem."

Pocahontas looked at him in alarm. "What is? What has become a problem."

Riku turned back toward her and glared at the both of them, his eyes turning a angry shade of green that only seemed to happen when he was upset. "This, this life! Don't you see," He turned away from them, ashamed to be angry at the only people that truly cared for him now. In a much smaller voice he continued. "Don't you see I'm starting to think of the two of you as Sora and Kairi now?"

Sora and Kairi, over the years Riku had told them bits and pieces about his previous life. A life which he was determined to get over, but just couldn't seem to.

Li stood up, walked over to Riku and pulled him into a awkward embrace that reminded him of when he first met him, except this time Riku reached his shoulders. The old feelings, ones that he couldn't just seem to bury came over him for a minute and then were pushed aside.

Why couldn't he ever seem to get rid of that evil part in him. Some part of Li, some very persistent part just wanted to taint Riku, and one of these days he might not be able to help himself.

Finally, Li said: "We're not Sora and Kairi, the same thing won't happen again. But if this is what you want, if you're sure about this, we'll help you find a place of your own."

Riku nodded, not wanting to speak because he was close to tears. He didn't want to be weak any more, but sometimes he just couldn't help himself.

Pocahontas, relieved that Li just wanted to help Riku, nodded her head and cried silently. Thinking all the while that this must be what a mother feels when one of her children leaves the nest. A pleasant, frighting, yet relieved feeling.
Riku wasn't really leaving them after all, he was just growing up.

They had managed to find him a cheap, yet nice, apartment. One bedroom, one bath, with a small living room and kitchen. Two windows and gray carpet, as well as a small unusual and unusable fireplace, but it was still nice. With a touch of paint it could be turned into something homey and comfortable.

"Li, where does this box go?"

"How should I know, it's your home, put it wherever you like."
"A apartment is hardly a home... Hey, watch where you're putting that box! You almost broke your graduation gift, that crystal dish cost a fortune!"

"I would have rather liked a tv, but at least the dish is better than your graduation gift."

The apartment was also quite close to the park. The same park where Li, Riku, and Pocahontas had met. Riku, like Li, liked to go there to think. Luckily, he had no memories of what had conspired between them when they first met.

Li wondered if those memories would ever come back and why they disappeared in the first place. Maybe Riku's mind locked them away, just like his mind seemed to have locked away the details of the time when he was possessed by Ansem.

Maybe that was all for the greater good. But they would have to eventually come back. Hopefully not now though, not when everything was going smoothly. Hopefully not ever if Li could have his way.

Pocahontas and Li had changed too. Pocahontas, even though she tried (and failed) to hide if from Riku, had had several lovers. Love to her seemed more of a need than a want. Something to be picked up, eaten, then tossed away.

Li's marriage was on the rocks, but that wasn't new. Now Mulan complained about him never being home and was arguing with him again about him helping to destroy their world because of his bad plan of action. Because of that, Li had taken a lover.

A male lover to be exact, not because of Mulan, but in an attempt to forget about Riku. An attempt that failed by the way. But still, he tried. It was better than giving in to this poisonous feeling.

Riku emerged from his bedroom and headed outside and to the moving van for another box. The day before they had managed to buy all new furniture and had moved it into the apartment ahead of time. They would all be living on canned foods for awhile because of this, but it was worth it.

Pocahontas, who was taking out the kitchen utensils, smiled at Li over the breakfast bar that separated the living room from the kitchen and created a small door way like space to the dinning room. "Isn't this great. He's finally over his fear."

"Maybe, or maybe he's just trying to get over it. I told him to call either of us if anything happened during the night. But maybe one of us should stay here with him overnight..."

Pocahontas frowned, a suspicious glint coming into her eyes. "You know he wouldn't like that, he thinks we baby him enough already. What we need to be now is his friends and give him the space he deserves. How can he ever get better if we don't give him a chance. And besides, you know it wouldn't be good for either of us."
But what she really meant by the last sentence is that it wouldn't be good for Li. She was right, like always, yet some part of him wanted to resist the truth. Say that you were never completely over anything. Just like he would never completely be over Riku.

Riku returned, for the move they had all decided to wear their most tattered clothes. So this time instead of his usual yellow and purple outfit, Riku was wearing a torn and faded out pair of stone washed blue jeans that were a little too tight for him and a slightly ripped at the bottom white tee-shirt. With his hair pulled back in a pony tail, and sweat making his clothes cling to him more Li found difficulty in keeping his eyes off him.

With the cardboard box marked, "personal" and his usual cocky grin Riku burst through the door and grinned at the both of them. "Talking about me already?"

Pocahontas blushed with embarrassment. "Not at all. We were just saying how nice it will be for me to not have to be woken up in the morning by your loud music or have to clean up after you now that you're a man."

Riku dropped the box on the couch and walked up to Pocahontas, kissing her cheek he taunted. "Wow, mommy, I didn't know you wanted to get rid of me that bad."
Pocahontas lightly punched Riku's shoulder, muttering under her breath that sometimes he could be a real pain in the ass.

Wicked, mean, cruel, nice, loving, goofy, she loved all sides of him and he knew it.

Riku turned toward Li and leaned against and over the breakfast bar. "If it hadn't been for you I probably wouldn't have been able to get this place. If there's anything I can do to repay you, and Pocahontas, just tell me. Anything, anything at all."

Li cringed inside from his words. Why did he have to be so trusting sometimes. He knew enough about the outside world to know that you don't say "anything" to anyone when you wanted to repay a debt. What made him so different from any of the other men on the street in his eyes. Li wasn't completely oblivious to the looks and stares that men and woman gave Riku when they walked on the street. Many a eye had been filled with the same hidden desire inside him. Couldn't Riku see it?
Or maybe he didn't wish to see it. Or maybe he wasn't seeing it at all.

'Yeah, there's something you can do,' A strange, and evil, inner voice within Li whispered. 'You can get Pocahontas to leave take off everything and you and me and continue what happened years ago by the well. I'll make sure you enjoy it, Riku.'

Riku, not knowing anything at all was wrong with Li, and Pocahontas, who was merrily making a peach cobbler to go with the store brought sandwiches they bought, was smiling. Neither of them noticing Li's inner torment.

"I...I think I'll go see if the waters turned on yet, yes I'll just step into the bathroom and see if it works."

For the first time, Riku frowned. "You could just-"

Li, with a shaky hand, shut the bathroom door behind him before he could hear more. Determined to never let Riku see that side of him.

And determined to get rid of the visions of what could be but shouldn't be.

No call during the first or second night. A week, then two passed, and Riku seemed to be okay living alone. He had finally done what a few years earlier would have been impossible. Pocahontas and Li occasionally asked him about him living alone and he told them that everything was normal. Too many housewarming gifts from the woman in the apartment complex. Even one from a 86 year old grandmother! The halls were a little dark at night and the washing machines seemed to eat his socks, but besides that everything was normal.

The three of them made a new world record, they were all now officially working together. But only because Li bothered and even blackmailed Frollo (there were numerous charges of sexual harassment and weeks of photographs of him doing less than decent things with the new female recruits)in order to get them all working together.

Pocahontas was against it, she knew this wouldn't help with his own obsession. But Li didn't care. They would stay together no matter what, he would see to that.

And again, Riku seemed oblivious to all the signs. Not knowing or not caring to know. He had his own problems to deal with. Subtle changes were happening around him. The innocence that had previously hung about him was slowly melting away, his mood and personality was turning harsher, and he wore a mysterious and strange, long, black trench coat over his clothing now. That and he declined the stations usual free weapons and choose a weapon that had came with him which he had boxed away years ago. A sword fashioned in a shape of a wing with a frighting eye set into it.

But still, to Li and Pocahontas he was still the same old Riku. A little rougher around the edges and more quick to anger, but still the same. Even his harsh treatment toward criminals and his almost sadistic glee at catching and killing heartless didn't tarnish their love for him.

No matter what he did, they supported him. And Li's strange love didn't waver even when the features he had loved best about Riku were disappearing.

From bright innocence to darkness, those feelings of his would probably never die and would probably never be brought to life.

The only thing Li didn't support was Riku's love life. He was following in the footsteps of the woman he had been raised by. Pocahontas was also upset by it, but not as much as Li. To her she saw it as a gaining of experience and was just happy that he was in to woman and turning away from Li.

Li, who tried not to be harsh or too upset, just wanted this strange feeling of jealousy and betrayal to go away. So he tried to persuade Riku to look for someone more...stable. Someone that wouldn't be just a one night stand.

Riku's response:

"Are you kidding? I could die any day now, I would rather have a woman that wouldn't miss me at all then a woman that would any day. Don't worry about my love life, you have your own problems, remember?"

How right he was, Riku already knew about his and Pocahontas's problems. Which made it all the more harder to tell him which path to take. They could do nothing but watch as Riku continued down this destructive road. But destructive or not, it was his road to take. No matter how attached he was to him, he had to let him go. This corruptive, poisonous love couldn't continue. It would hurt Riku even more then it would hurt him.

So, with a feeling of despair and anguish, Li let it continue and tried to even patch up his marriage and devote more time to his lover. Both of which almost worked, if only Li's heart had been in it. But his heart was already stolen by a platinum haired man with dangerous sea-green eyes and a desirable body.

A body which continued to haunt his dreams and conscience. But on the surface everything was normal.

Everything was normal until a year later. On a very stormy night that seemed to hint at what was going to take place. Mulan, who devoted most of her time to several charities, was away on a trip to help the homeless in another world inside Kingdom Hearts. Leaving Li alone and with several microwavable dishes. Their small, cozy tradition house, complete with family shrine and yard, was strangely quiet and dark. The only sounds was the booming of thunder and Li's groans as he attempted to wake up from another nightmare.

A nightmare about that day, the day that lit the spark which started the blaze of his obsession with Riku. Instead in this dream it was night, Riku had suddenly turned older, and it wasn't the good "they both wanted it" ending. This one was forced, bloody, and ending with Riku screaming at him in outrage, horror, fear, and hatred.
All three of which he never wanted, that would kill him, to be hated by Riku would be the worse possible event in his world.

A knock on the door, followed by a ring of the door bell, awoke him from his nightmare. Li sat up straight in bed and wiped the sweat and tears off of his face. His sheets were sticky with something other than sweat to his disgust, but that would have to wait. Turning toward the clock he could see it was past midnight and close to morning. Who, in this storm and at this time of night, would possibly be at his door. Maybe it was Pocahontas telling him that something big had come up and they were needed at the station right away. It was possible, it had happened once before and they seemed to be always on duty.

Li rose, went to the bathroom to splash his face, in water, put on a bathrobe then left the room to go answer the door as the impatient person continued to ring his door bell.

"I'm coming, I'm coming! Stop it with the bell!" Li shouted out as he reached the living room. The ringing stopped and Li unlocked the door and opened it.

It wasn't who he expected it would be.

Illuminated by the Lightning behind him, Riku stood dripping wet and looking like something the cat dragged in. His hair hung limply in his face and he seemed to be swaying on his feet. His usual black coat was unbutton and revealed his crumpled usual clothing. He leaned forward, either about to pass out or bow. Apparently it was to pass out, Li caught him and a familiar smell of liquor and rain water filled his nostrils. What exactly had Riku been doing.

Li dragged him inside and shut the door while holding Riku with one arm around his waist. Riku was slightly taller than him but more thinner than him as well so his arm seemed to fit perfectly. A little too perfectly in his opinion.

After the door was closed it began to rain harder. Riku laughed, a drunken and slightly unpleasant sound, then pulled away from Li. He looked at Li, a cloudy look in his eyes, then laughed again and walked across the room to sit down on the couch and rest his head on the coffee table.

Li looked at the mess that Riku had made, mud and water over everything. Mulan wouldn't be happy when she came back and found her prized table cloth ruined, but right now that didn't seem to matter.
"Riku you're-"

"I know, I know, I'm drunk! Hello to you Capitan." Besides Riku's slightly slurred "captain" he seemed almost okay.

Almost anyway.

Li looked around him, at the darkened room illuminated by the storm. This was growing into a situation that might lead... Might lead somewhere dangerous! Li turned to turn on a lamp.

Riku, with his head face down on the coffee table muttered loud enough for him to hear: "Leave it, I like the darkness. The light hurts my head anyway."

How had that happy young man from years ago turned into this unhappy and disturbed individual?

Li looked at Riku nervously. "You need some light. Besides, I should probably call a taxi for you to get home in. How did you manage to get here anyway."

"I walked, the clubs don't seem to have much woman in them when it rains. I wonder why..."

Li turned back toward the lamp, determined to end this unpleasant moment. A damp gloved hand covered his, a surprisingly heavy weight leaned against him and a voice whispered in his ear. "I told you, I like the darkness."

Li looked over his shoulder at Riku, he was leaning over him with one hand on his hand and the other on his arm to steady himself. How had Riku become so fast all of a sudden.

Li swallowed nervously, a habit that he had suddenly acquired. "Riku-"

"Shsss, silence matches perfectly with darkness. Don't say anything."

Riku's hands were moving one up his arm and the other toward the knot holding his robe together, before he could get lost in Riku's touch Li jerked away and faced Riku.

"Riku, you're drunk, you don't know what you're doing."

Riku's eyes flashed, he was growing angry and the only thing that Li could see clearly in the darkness was his glowing green eyes. "YOU don't know what you're doing. Isn't this what you wanted? Me?"

Li's heart skipped a beat. He had thought he had forgotten about that time, that time that had not only haunted Li but Riku too.

Seeing the surprise on his face, Riku laughed again. A laugh closer to Ansem's then his own. "You think I didn't notice? All those times you were around me, all those looks of desire and lust. All those hugs. I remember, Captain," The word captain was more spit out than said. Riku leaned in closer, making Li back up toward the wall till the both of them were leaning against it. ",that day. We were like this weren't we?"

Riku reached up and held Li's shoulders tightly. Li cried out in pain, was he trying to break his shoulder blades?

"And you had your hands around my waist... Yes I remember. And we were almost kissing, and your body was responding... I remember. I remember dammit so don't turn away now!"

Before Riku could kiss Li, Li turned his head away. "This isn't what I want...this isn't how I want it..."

"So you want to be on top?"

"No!" Li shouted out as he felt the pressure of Riku's lips on his throat, how had he learned all this? From all those one night stands? Now he was the one doing the seducing.

Riku mumbled between kisses. "Your words say no but your body says yes."

Li wanted to yell at him, push him away before it was too late, but his instincts were just too strong and he moaned instead, feeling Riku's hands slip into his robe instead.

"Not like this, not here..." Li hadn't even known that he had said the words out loud. Riku pulled away and pulled the both of them toward the bedroom that Li and Mulan shared.

'Isn't this what you wanted?' Li thought to himself. 'Yes, this is what I wanted. But now I'm not so sure.'

Riku pushed him harshly onto the bed and then took off his coat and shirt with tantalizing slowness. If only he didn't have all those buckles. Li reached forward to help him, Riku let him.

Raising his eyebrows and laughing cruelly, Riku said to him: "Eager aren't you?"

While Li was absorbed in Riku's clothes Riku took off his gloves with his teeth and entwined his hands in Li's hair and continued to talk. "That day, at the station..."

In between pants and moans at just touching his skin Li replied. "What about it?"

"You didn't take me in because this would have happened sooner. It was written all over your face. You were so relieved that Pocahontas decided to take care of me instead. Yet part of you wished she had just shut up, it's there, I can feel it, in your own darkness. We're both giving in to it, aren't we?"

"Riku..."

"Do you want this or not? Don't say anything, just take this agonizing pain away for awhile. Please..."
At the begging tone in Riku's voice, Li looked up to see Riku crying. His tears feel on his face as he reached up to wipe them away and cradle his head in his hands.

'When do we get to cry? When do the damned get to cry?'

"I...I can't stand being alone. Or feeling incomplete. That's why...If only for a night let me feel complete. I don't care who it is, just take away the darkness for awhile, please."

Li pulled Riku down to meet his lips. Adding to the problem instead of helping it. Adding to both their problems.
The kiss was salty and full of more sadness than desire or lust. This really wasn't how he wanted it. But he had promised.

Promised to help Riku in anyway possible, even if he didn't remember it afterward.

Another kiss, another touch, and their bodies entwined in a forbidden and wanted pleasure.

And only the darkness knew their sin, the depth of their poison.

The storm ended, and morning came with it. Li, who had stayed up all night long after Riku had feel into a troubled and drunken sleep, had spent the rest of the night after their "mistake" listening to Riku's labored breathing.

'What have I done?' That was the one question that plagued him. He had done the one thing he promised himself he wouldn't do. Have sex with Riku and hurt him. He had done both in one night.

And all because of liquor and a darkness that had grown and haunted him that was impossible to stop now.

Riku stirred slightly and buried his head into Li's chest. Li glanced at Riku's sleeping face. He looked so young when he was asleep, so much like when they had first found each other.

He could dream, if he wanted to, that Riku would accept him and this could continue. But in his heart he knew Riku wasn't meant for him. That this was another of his one night stands in an endless search for something to take away the darkness and make him complete. But still, Li's heart wanted him more than anything and wished that this could continue. This peaceful feeling of getting what you want.

But it couldn't, not for Riku's sake. Li pulled away with regret and resisted giving in and letting Riku continue to feed off his warmth. Riku moaned once and then turned over on his side. After moving his hand through his hair one last time, Li went to clean up and then change the sheets after cleaning up Riku and making it look like he had just passed out on the couch.

Before he did any of this though, he went to his ancestors shrine and started pray.

"It's not Riku's fault, it's my own. My own weakness and dark heart is to blame for this. Don't let it come back to haunt us, no, don't let it come back to haunt Riku. Don't let him remember any of this, don't let him even remember everything that happened when I first found him. Let the last night be buried and the memories be carried only by me. Not him, not him, not him. Not him..."

Li finished, feeling that this prayer probably won't be answered and that this was a pathetic attempt to save his already damned soul. But there was some comfort out of this and that got him through the rest of the morning.

Riku woke up, on the couch as planned. Li sat far away from him, on the other couch closer to the door than the bedroom. After a nervous silence, Li looked away from Riku's enchanting eyes and at the window by the door.

"How are you feeling?"

Riku groaned, used his left arm only to push him into a sitting position, and cradled his head in his hands. "Sore, and like something just ran over my head. What the hell happened last night?"

Li looked away again, what indeed had happened? "You came here drunk and passed out on the couch. That's all."

Riku looked up at him, narrowing his eyes suspiciously. "That's all? You sure I didn't tear up any furniture or break something. You look really upset. That and my whole body feels numb, like I had had a rough night in bed or something."

Riku scratched his head and attempted to look back into his memories. Li interrupted this process by standing up and saying enthusiastically.

"Well you did bump into a couple of things, broke one hell of an ugly wedding present too!"

Riku attempted to laugh and then stopped, hissing he cradled his head with one hand. "Some night I had, could you close the blinds, and do you have any Chinese remedy for a hangover?"
Li smiled sadly, a wishful smile that Riku didn't see. "Sure, whatever you say."

After this was done, and while Li was handing Riku a small glass of a mysterious potion to heal his aching head, Riku grabbed Li's arm. Li's eyes widened and he didn't manage to say anything as Riku took the glass out of hand, drowned it in one minute, with a slight scowl from it's horrible flavor, all the while holding on to his arm. Finally Riku looked up at him. "Look, I'm sorry. I didn't' mean to be such a burden on you. I don't know what I was thinking last night. Please forgive me."

Please, that one word was one word Li hoped never to hear from him or anyone else ever again. "It's alright," Li said as Riku let go of his arm. "The nights over and we can look toward tomorrow."

Look toward tomorrow, not to yesterday, and pray that the sins of the night won't come to haunt either of them.

Another year passed, and then once again an incident much like the one that had brought Riku to Kingdom Hearts happened again. But this time to a young teenage Japanese girl.

Kikyou. A girl that was also beautiful, but in a haunting ghost like way. Much too pale, harsh, broken dark brown eyes that seemed to be filled with a adult knowledge that even she didn't understand, and dressed in plain light blue and white clothing that seemed to make her dark hair and pale skin stand out even more. She had a woman's voice, but a young girl's body.

Riku found her, saved her actually. And into the trio's life came a priestess, a jewel, Ansem, and trouble.

From the start Riku and Kikyou didn't get along. Riku was always unmercifully teasing Kikyou. And Kikyou, who wasn't use to such treatment, would always yell back. Unsure of how to act around each other, Kikyou unknowingly brought back Riku's youthful ways and seemed to dispel the darkness that hung over him when she was around him.

Pocahontas thought the world of her, but Li was unsure. Stuck between relief and jealousy.

So when they were going to Sleepy Hollow, when he found the both of them in each others arms because of the ships unstable ride, Li didn't know how to respond.

Riku, who never gained his memory back about that night, left embarrassment but acted coldly toward Li for ruining a good moment. A moment that Li was glad that he had interrupted.

Being one of Riku's one night stands, Li knew what could have happened to the girl and what will most likely happen in the future. Unless Riku could find a permanent way to get rid of his feelings of incompleteness before then.

But it was mostly jealously that made him talk to her about Riku being dangerous and tainting her. Even if Kikyou didn't understand and was angry herself that he would even think she would do something like that with a guy she hated, she still needed to be warned. It was better to try to prevent the past from being repeated.

Riku had been many things: womanizer, lover, villain, friend, it was up to her eventually to pick which one she wanted out of him and avoid the others.

But despite that he found himself liking Kikyou. And for a time, just seeing Riku and Kikyou together, with Riku happy (even if he wasn't showing it) was enough to heal Li's heart.
But nothing lasts forever. Eventually this happiness would end.

And it did, one night when they didn't hear from Riku for hours, when he was suppose to be working on a case. They looked for him, found evidence that foul play was involved near the well and that he had been kidnapped.

Kikyou had to be told, and instead of bursting into tears as was expected, the strong willed girl decided to help them look. They agreed. Li wondering if it was too late, if he should have told Riku how he felt and what had happened instead. Then, even if Riku resented him, then he wouldn't feel so guilty and worried now.

Ansem, that's who they had found and that's where Riku was. They headed toward a volcano where a evil aura was gathering. Fought to the top, and had found that not all of them were coming back from this.

Li, more than anything, wished that he could switch places with Kikyou. But that wasn't to be. If you love someone, you'll set them free. And so him and Pocahontas had made a decision.

They would fight, they would fight even if they knew that they would die for the man that they had both came to love and let their hope for Riku's future rest in Kikyou's hands.

Kikyou looked back once at them before they were separated, she was crying and yelling something. But there was no hope in her eyes, there was no hope in any of them. They knew, they knew that they weren't going to see each other again.

Li and Pocahontas turned toward the enemy in front of them, desperately trying to go against destiny and with no hope of winning.

And now, lying here, being dragged up these back stairs toward Riku, Kikyou, and my death, I can see everything.

All the happy times, the sad times.

And that one night and day that we had together. Even though I prayed that you would never remember, that you would only remember me as a friend, some part of me hopes that you will someday remember.

Maybe one day when Kikyou finally does what I could not. Finally chases away that darkness that you feared so much. You better not leave him, Kikyou, don't hurt him like I did either.

It's getting harder to breath.

I want the last thing I see to be that peaceful sea.

Let the reason that I continued to live die within me, drowned by the sea that I always looked to.

(fin)

Author's Note: This was suppose to be light, so sorry if it was a little too hot and heavy. But it did explain a lot, so it was well worth it. Originally, Li and Pocahontas weren't suppose to die. But unlike the creator of Inuyasha and a lot of other would be good shows and books, I believe that character death adds to the story and gives the hero's reason to continue on.
That and forbidden love is always a good topic to work on.
The ending part, where Li's talking about a "sea", he actually means Riku. But you probably already figured that out.

Leave a nice review, and don't yell at me for the content of this chapter. Since after all, considering Kikyou and Riku's age difference you can't really complain since you read the other chapters. That and most anime, Inuyasha included, seem to center around a younger/older relationship with a gap between ages that's way over 2-5 years. That and this fan fiction has an R rating. What were you expecting? Censor bars?

The next chapter is guy/guy free and full of excitement and adventure. So look forward to it.