A/N Hello, my lovely readers, I am so eternally sorry for making you wait this long to update. I would like to joyfully announce that school is over! WOOT! And, updates will be progressing in a much more timely fashion, I would estimate approximately once a week for this story. Anyways, please read and review.
Thanks to all my reviewers!
Dedication: To AliceisLost/MabbyAbbyGabby, I'm sorry can't get on your other account. Also, I'm sorry for making you go mad waiting for the next chapter. Thanks so much for all your fabulous reviews! :)
Sirius warily allowed James to help him sit up before blinking a few time to clear his head and demanding to know what happened. James had opened his mouth to answer his friend when Sirius interrupted him by staring in abject horror at the large mound of firewood on which perched his reason for living. "Whab habbened tob by Quibbich stubb?!" (What happened to my Quidditch stuff?!) Sirius all but shrieked causing several people nearby to cover their ears with their hands.
"You were going to light them on fire." McGonagall informed the Gryffindor beater.
"Wab nob. I woulb neber do subh a thibg!" (Was not. I would never do such a thing!) Sirius exclaimed. In true Sirius fashion the dark haired boy stopped mid rant to point excitedly toward the object held in Remus' hands. "Is that sugar??" He demanded jumping up from his seat on the floor and all but jumping Remus and ripping the bag of sugar from his hands.
"Hey! That's mine!" Remus exclaimed.
McGonagall glanced from where Sirius was standing on top of the Ravenclaw house table holding Remus' sugar captive to James who had returned to Lily and was currently happily engaged in conversation with the red-head, who he suddenly had a lot more in common with personality-wise. McGonagall was starting to realize that having James and Sirius back to normal might not be such a good thing. Her theory was confirmed when Sirius waved his want transfiguring a goblet into a small catapult and proceed to shoot a variety of small vegetables at various members of the room from behind the fort he had built of books (undoubtedly belonging to the Ravenclaws, whose table he had commandeered.) Remus had built a fort of his own at the Hufflepuff table and was returning fire.
As she took in the increasingly frightened screams of the first and second years as food flew over their heads and Slytherins chased after them offering them candy, McGonagall realized what hell truly was. She decided that the best course of action was to get the heck out of the Great Hall before they turned their attention toward her. Sirius seemed to be taking a certain sadistic joy out of aiming for teachers and had managed to hit Sprout and Kettleburn so far.
Unfortunately, many other people seemed to have the same idea and a mad rush to get out of the room ensued. McGonagall was among the twenty or so people who managed to escape before Sirius and Remus noticed that their victims were getting away and proceeded to station themselves in front of the doors.
"Nobody leaves here, got it?" Remus questioned glaring at the room at large through narrowed eyes. An audible shudder whipped through the room as everyone except James, Lily, and the Slytherins backed up as far as they could to get away from the seemingly deranged Gryffindors.
Meanwhile in the Entrance Hall…
"What on earth happened to you, Minerva?" Dumbledore asked the deputy headmistress who was currently panting for breath with her normally severely pulled back hair popping out of an askew bun.
"Headmaster, you have to do something about them!" McGonagall exclaimed. "They've taken half the school hostage in there."
"Indeed?" Dumbledore queried pausing as he heard the sound of several explosions echoing from within the Great Hall. McGonagall looked horrified at his lack of response. "Who is 'them' exactly?" He asked the Gryffindor head of house.
"Lupin and Black. As of now Potter and Evans aren't directly involved as they're too busy er, talking…" McGonagall trailed off.
"I take your response to mean that Potter and Black are back to normal?" Dumbledore inquired in a mild tone.
"Yes, and I'm not really sure if that's a good thing…it's great Qudditch-wise, but do you realize the kind of havoc those two will wreak without Lupin and Evans to reign them in? It's like having two Potters, and two Blacks!" She exclaimed.
"Well then, perhaps it's for the best we let them stay in there." Dumbledore mused looking over his half-moon spectacles at the Transfiguration mistress.
"We can't just leave all of those innocent students in there with them." McGonagall protested. At least until another huge explosion sounded, this one causing the floor to shake in the Entrance Hall. Screams could be heard through the walls once more. "Or, maybe we can." McGonagall decided realizing that she would probably have to be the one to go evacuate the other students.
"I'm sure the others will be fine." Dumbledore mused. "In fact, I think this is a wonderful chance to build Inter-house unity." He added sounding excited at the prospect. McGonagall fought the urge to scream, what was it with him and inter-house unity? Seriously.
"Yes, of course, I'm sure they'll all be getting along splendidly in no time." McGonagall replied.
Back to the Great Hall…
"Jabsie!" Sirius exclaimed. "Cobe joib, Rebbie abd I! We'be holbing ebeybody hobage!" (Jamsie!, Come join, Remmie and I!, We're holding everybody hostage.)
"Do you mind? Lily-flower and I are trying to have a conversation." James yelled across the hall from where he and Lily were…ahem, talking.
"Fibe." (Fine.) Sirius replied turning back to Remus and holding out the bag of sugar out to the other Marauder so that he could scoop a handful out.
"Let's mabe the firbies walb the plab!" (Let's make the firsties walk the plank.) Sirius exclaimed.
"Hmm…" Remus murmered thoughtfully. "First we're going to need a ship. And an ocean. Or a lake."
"Labe!" (Lake!) Sirius exclaimed excitedly. "You'be bribllant Rebbie! We can feeb theb to the Gibant Squib, as a sabrifice, and theb the Squib wilb grabt us dobinim ober the ebire labe!" (You're brilliant Remmie! We can feed them to the Giant Squid as a sacrifice and then the Squid will grant us dominion over the entire lake!) Sirius replied.
"First we must build the ship!" Remus exclaimed. "Let's employ the first and second years to do so."
-I am a line-
It would go down in history as one of the greatest mysteries to ever hit Hogwarts. No one was ever quite sure how they managed to pull it off. But then, that was true of many of the pranks the Marauders pulled. Still, managing to build a pirate ship and sneak it outdoors through a passageway that led to the grounds outside of Hogwarts was quite a feat even for them.
When the professors finally realized that they were no longer in the Great Hall they scoured the halls searching for the missing students. They finally found them outside standing on a 'pirate ship.' Sirius had donned a black eye patch for the occasion, and Remus was sporting a peg leg.
They had ordered their hostages to sit on the floor of the ship while they decided which they wanted to keep, and which they wanted to watch get fed to the giant squid. They cackled gleefully causing several first years to back up against the walls of the ship and huddle together in fear.
McGonagall stared in horror at the students on the ship; she really, really, didn't get paid enough to do this. On the other hand, Dumbledore seemed quite unfazed as he watched two of his students hold over half the student body hostage.
Remus and Sirius were currently speaking to each other in hushed tones and gesturing wildly, apparently having an argument over which first years they wanted to keep if any at all.
Finally deciding that something needed to be done to stop the two boys from dumping everyone into the lake, McGonagall shouted up to Sirius and Remus. "Sirius Black, Remus Lupin! Release those children immediately."
The two boys gave no indication of having heard her although Remus did take a moment to shout, "ARRRRRGH, A Pirate's life is the life for me."
"Headmaster, you must put a stop to this immediately." McGonagall demanded.
"What ever for?" Dumbledore asked sounding truly puzzled. "You know Geoffrey wouldn't hurt a soul."
"Geoffrey?" McGonagall asked.
"Why, the giant squid of course, he is quite the conversationalist, quite the gossip, really, he knows everything that goes on in this castle, how do you think I keep up on what the students are doing? No one bothers to censor their conversations in front of him. And, can you believe, that no one even says hello to Geoffrey most days? This is probably more excitement then he's had in months. And, he won't harm anyone, maybe just play with them for a few moments and then toss them back."
The professors stared wide-eyed at the Headmaster.
"In fact, fifty points to Gryffindor for contributing to greater school unity and displaying kindness to magical creatures."
The professors now resembled a school of fish as they stood there gaping at the wizard.
"Walb the plab!" (Walk the plank!) Sirius commanded a first year prodding him in the back with his 'sword' (which was really just a stick, but Sirius wasn't picky.) The parrot Sirius had procured from somewhere squawked its agreement.
"Did ye hear the captain?" Remus queried. "Walk the plank, matey…ARRRRRRRRRRGH!"
The looked fearfully over his shoulder at the two Gryffindors.
"SQUAKKKKKKKKKKKK…walk the plank…walk the plank…."
Sirius finally grew bored waiting for the first year to jump overboard and decided that the proper course of action would be to just push him in. And, so, Sirius did just that. The first year landed in the water with a satisfying splash, and Sirius and Remus exchanged a grin before assembling a line of the remaining students and beginning to shove them overboard as well.
The giant squid seemed to find the splashes exciting and took to grabbing hold of the students with his tentacles and waving them around in the air before throwing them toward shore.
It took almost an hour but Sirius and Remus had soon cleared the ship of all but the few they had dubbed worthy to be on their crew, which currently included Lily, James, themselves, and a couple of Slytherins, namely, Snape, Regulus, and several others.
Now that they had gotten rid of those they had no interest in they were dancing around the ship with bottles of butter beer saying things like 'yo, ho, yo, ho a pirate's life is the life for me' and 'argh, me mateeeeeeeeys.'
Several of the professors wanted to go aboard the ship and drag the students back, but Dumbledore wouldn't let them, having decided that if the students wanted to remain on the ship they could, seeing as Sirius and Remus had 'released' aka thrown overboard all those who were being held against their will.
And, so, the professors were forced to head back into the castle where lunch was waiting for them, the house elves having repaired the Great Hall, in time for their return.
A/N Review.