A/N: Hey everyone! For being so amazing I'm giving you another chapter I hope you enjoy.

I also want to give thanks to my amazing Beta Cattinson, you rock!

Song for this chapter: The Road I'm On- 3 Doors Down

Chapter 14: Past Lives

I still hadn't said anything after Jasper's announcement, nobody did. What could we say? Nothing was going to make things better for anyone so I stayed quiet and let the news of my brother's divorce sink in.

This was the first dinner in our family history that was ever quiet, this was the first time my dad didn't talk about sports or my mom talking about her new hobby of the week or Jasper telling us something that no one cared to know. It was weird to think that my family was capable of being quiet.

Driving to my house and arriving was a silent affair I kind of wanted to say something to break the ice but I didn't, for fear that I would say something stupid and make Jasper angry. Jasper immediately went to his room without saying a word which I guess would give me some time to think of something to say.

"So… how did all this happen?" I asked my dad and mom when I knew it was safe to talk about it.

"I think it would be better if you talked to Jasper about that honey." My mom said. I was afraid of that what am I supposed to say 'hey Jasper do you need a divorce lawyer' probably wasn't the best.

"Can you tell me something before I go in there?" I pleaded.

"No its better if he just tells you the whole thing" my dad told me. Damn.

"Okay I'll go up and see him" I say as I start to walk up the stairs.

When I reach my brother's door I knock and when he tells me to come in I step inside of his room.

"I was wondering when you'd come and visit" Jasper tells me when I am completely in the room.

"I just wanted to give you some time to yourself." It's a totally lie but he doesn't know that.

"Thanks… come and sit we have a lot to talk about."

I sat down on his bed but I made sure that I was a good distance away from him.

"What happened between you and Carmen that would make you want to get a divorce?" I asked.

"I caught her cheating on me with my partner." He tells me.

OMG! I never would have expected that Carmen would ever do that and with Jasper's partner. Over the years I suspected that Carmen was cheating on Jasper little things there and there tipped me off, but I never thought she would do it with someone who was like Jasper's best friend. When Jasper became a cop Eleazar became his partner; they first meet at the academy and became inseparable. Eleazar has saved Jasper more times than you can count and if it wasn't for him Carmen probably would not have a husband today.

"I'm so sorry Jasper" I really felt sorry for him he truly thought that this woman was the love of his life and that they would be together forever.

"Thank you, I know that Carmen wasn't your favorite person in the world." He was right I didn't like her and for good reason it would seem.

"It doesn't matter right now if I like her or not you're my brother and you're going through a tough time I'm not going to say something that will only anger you." What was the point of bad mouthing her it was obvious that he still in love with her and doing it would lead him to hate me.

"And I thank you for that, it's weird Carmen and I just last year we were talking about finally have kids and then this happened." Jasper laughs, now I think he's gone crazy. "I was so in love with her and I thought we would be together forever."

Jasper talking about how he and Carmen were going to be together forever brought back memories of my broken family, their marriage caused so much pain to our family but like always he doesn't care as long as he has her.

"I think you should rest big brother you look like you could use it." I stand from my brother's bed I need to get out of here. When I reach the door I hear Jasper say something but his voice is barely a whisper.

"I'm sorry" is what I hear Jasper say.

"What are you sorry for?" I ask with my back still facing toward Jasper.

"For everything I did to the family for not being there for you, you're my little sister I should have been there."

"It doesn't matter anymore what done is done and I accept your apology but I'll never forgive you. You didn't see the look on mom and dad face when you left it broke my heart every time." Tears start to fall from my face. "I needed you, I needed you and you weren't there you never came." Before any more tears could fall I left Jasper's room and ran to mine locking the door behind me.

I slid down the door and sat on the floor pulling my legs to my chest and cried. I cried for the person I was before everything happened, I cried for the person Jasper was before he met Carmen, I cried just because I didn't know how to stop.

I made it to my bed some time during the night and I continued to cry, I cried myself to sleep that night.

The next morning I woke up earlier than my family and left to go to work before anyone woke up. I was the only one at the office well seeing is how it was 7 in the morning I wasn't surprised. I didn't do much with my alone time in the law firm I just sat in my office like a zombie staring off in space. I didn't have it in me to care about anything and bad thing about it is today I have mediation with Mr. Stewart and his ex-wife. I should have called in sick today. But oh well there's nothing I can do about that now I just have to stick it out and try not to let my feelings show. Alice usually gets in at about 7:45 so I had a while before I got to see her.

Sitting here is becoming more and more depressing by the second and I can't help the tears that fall or the full on sob, it's been a long time since I cried this much. I think the last time I cried this much was the night he broke my heart and I cried to Alice.

Alice and I have been through so much together and I need her now.

I laid my head down on the desk and just continued on with my cry fest. I didn't realize how long I was crying until I felt a hand on my shoulder and I knew it had to be Alice; I lift up my head to see if it really was Alice. I smile through my tears with I see her face.

"Bella what's the matter?" Alice asks me.

"Jasper, apparently he's moving into my house with my parents, he's divorcing Carmen and we got to talking, he apologize for not being there for me but I couldn't I just couldn't forgive him. It just brought bad memories." I finally stopped crying

Alice hugged me so tight.

"It's okay Bella just let it out it will make you feel better." Alice tells me. But I don't have any more tears left in me to cry, I'm all cried out.

I loosen my arms around Alice and look into her eyes, "I do feel better but I have a headache from all the crying I did last night and this morning."

Alice immediately lets go of me, "Oh let me get you some Tylenol."

She ran out of my office to what I assume is her desk to get me some medication and when she comes back, she has with her 2 Tylenols and a glass water.

"Thank you Alice."

"It's no problem; you would have done it for me." That's so true I would do anything to return the favor. "So how are you feeling now?" Alice asks.

"I'm feeling better thanks the pills are helping; now I just have to get on with the day." I tell her.

"Maybe you should go home and rest you are no good to us." Alice explains and I know she's right but I just can't.

"I know I should but I have mediation with Mr. Stewart today and I don't think anyone else will be able to get up to speed on the case in time" I explained.

"But you need it Bella, just take it easy today okay" she looks worried.

"I will Alice I promise, hey do you mind if I crash at your place tonight I don't want to go home?" I ask.

"Sure," is all she says before she leaves me alone.

I hadn't really thought much about Edward today but now that I have time to, he consumes my every thought. I wonder if tonight might be a good night to tell Edward everything that I had been holding back on. I needed Edward to know the truth about what happened to me in college I needed him to understand that I have to take things slow with him.

I texted Edward.

To: Edward

Hey Edward I was wondering if you could possibly go on a date with me tonight I would like to take you to one of my favorite places in LA.

From: Bella

I don't expect him to text me back right away so I worked on preparing for mediation. I worked until 9 o'clock when it was till to meet my client, his ex-wife and her lawyer in one of the conference room we have at the law firm. When I was picking up paper to take with me I hear my blackberry beep I debate whether to answer it or not I choose the latter and leave my office. When I step out of the door I bumped into Ronny Stewart my client.

"Hey Mr. Stewart how have you been?" I ask.

"I'm a little nervous, and I hope that we can finally finish all this." Poor Mr. Stewart I know how badly he wants this to be over.

"Don't worry; we have made an offer that she hopefully won't refuse."

"I sure hope so." He sounded so frustrated.

We both walked into the conference room with our head held up high and ready to fight to the death or till we reach an agreement either way we were going to be here awhile. We were the first to arrive although there a few minutes before we would begin I knew that Ronny's ex-wife would be late and make us wait.

I told Ronny that I would be back and stepped out of the conference room as the mediator walks in. I quickly walk into my office to grab my phone and go back to wait from things to get started. When I sit back down next to Ronny I check to see who had text me earlier and smile when I see its Edward.

To: Bella

Today is my day off today so I won't be going into work till tomorrow night, so I would love to go out with you. I can't wait to see the real LA with you. Just tell me where to meet you.

From: Edward

Oh thank God! Even though I'm a little too scared to tell Edward everything I'm relieved that I can get it over with. I text Edward back telling him to meet me at the law firm and I gave him the address. I checked the clock and noticed that it was 9:15 and Mrs. Stewart had yet to show up. I walked back out to see if Alice has seen my client's wife but she hadn't and I was starting to get pissed. At 9:45 I could tell that not only were me and Mr. Stewart pissed but the mediator was getting annoyed, I was about to tell the mediator to just leave when Mrs. Stewart finally showed up with her lawyer.

"Sir you would be wise as to advise your client to be on time the next we have to meet" I tell Mrs. Stewart's lawyer.

"Yes ma'am, I am very sorry that we are late." The other lawyer says looking a little nervous.

"Okay let's begin shall we." My client and I laid out everything we had put in the agreement which was more than Mrs. Stewart asked for. Mediation can go on for a very long time especially if nobody agrees on anything. So I wasn't surprised when we emerged from the conference room it was already noon and I saw so hungry, but I was relieved that we finally reached an agreement between both parties. I was so happy for Mr. Stewart he can finally rest easy.

I saw Alice sitting at her desk just outside of my office as I walked toward it, I wonder if she was hungry.

"Alice have you eaten yet?" I asked.

"Um no I was kind of waiting for you." She tells me with a nervous smile.

"You know you didn't have to wait for me right. But anyways do you want to go the deli next door?"

"I know that I didn't have to," she says with an attitude. "And yeah let's go." She jumps from her desk ready to go.

"Okay hold on let me grab my purse and I'll be right out." I hurry off to my office to grab my purse and car keys as I leave the office I check my phone once again to check to see if I had anything missed calls or anything and I did. I see that my mom and dad both called and texted, well at least mom texted my dad not so much.

My mom asked where I had gone off to so early and I replied back saying that I came to the firm early to get things prepared for the day, I also told her that I wouldn't be coming home that I would stay at Alice's place for tonight. My mom asked why and I didn't know what to say, saying that I didn't want to see Jasper's face probably wouldn't be a good idea, and saying that I didn't feel like going home wouldn't be a good reason. So I told her 'I'll be working really late and I'll be too tired to drive all the way home and Alice lives close by the firm' that seem like a good enough reason.

Alice met me at the elevator and the both of us made our way to the deli next door to the building we work in. When we stepped into the deli there are not as many people as I thought there would be during this time, but I'm glad that don't have to wait very long to get my food.

"So your parents came down from Forks already." Alice says to me.

"Yup" I say popping the 'p'.

"How was it?" she asks me after we both place our order in and waited for the food to be ready.

"Well my dad scared the shit out of me again but at least this time I didn't end up at the hospital." I say and she giggles. "We ended up going to Boa for dinner my mom wanted to check a celebrity, and that's where Jasper gave me the new of his pending divorce."

"Really at the restaurant he couldn't wait till you got home to tell you?" she asks curiously.

"I guess not, it was so awkward after he said it all through dinner nobody said anything at all which you know is weird for my family" I say.

"Yeah it is pretty weird for your family" she giggles. "Where did you and Jasper have your little talk?" Alice asked.

"We were already at the house, thank God too because I wouldn't have been able to escape if we weren't." I say as we sit down at a nearby table with our sandwiches and drinks in hand. "It felt strange to hear him apologize after all these years, why wouldn't he have apologized back then when I really needed it not now that when I have tried so hard to forget everything that happened back then?" I'm trying so hard not to cry right now.

"I don't know maybe he thinks you need it now. Maybe he didn't know that it would affect you this way and it was to clear his conscience." Alice tells me.

"Maybe" I mumble. I start to eat my sandwich and think about what Alice said if this was just to clear his conscience that's kind of fucked up. I refuse to think that that was the reason he wanted to apologize but who knows maybe it was, it's not like I know my brother that well to tell you what he was thinking.

"Hey don't think about it so much we don't know why he did it maybe he was really trying to make amends about everything, we don't know if his intentions were good but we hope that they were." Alice says, maybe she's right. Well she usually is but whatever.

"Yeah maybe you're right but like you said we don't know for sure and that's what bugs me the most is that I don't know him well even to know if he's intention where good." I said annoyed about this whole situation.

"I'm going to tell Edward about college." I blurted out as we were throwing out our trash from our lunch.

"Wait what did you says?" she asked with her eyebrows raised.

"I'm going to tell Edward about what happened in college and I'm going to ask him we can take it slow." I say to her nervously.

"OMG! Seriously I can't believe you're going to tell him so soon" she says excitedly.

"Yeah I know but I think I should do it, he's not like other guys that I have met I can feel that he's real and he won't hurt me, I know it in my heart that he's a good guy." I say truthfully.

"Well if you think it right I'm behind you 100% you know that and I better meet him soon or else" Alice threatens.

I laugh, "Okay you'll meet him soon."

We make it back to the office and go our separate ways to get back to work. We work for the rest of the day and as it gets close to 5 I start to get nervous about meeting Edward, and I start to think about the worst case scenario. What if he doesn't want to be with me because I'm too damaged? I hated to think that way but I needed to prepare for the worst.

I had some extra clothes in my car so I changed out of my work clothes just before Edward came. I packed all of my thing and left my office to sit with Alice at her desk.

"I'm getting nervous now Alice" I say as my whole body starts to shake.

Alice gets up from her desk, pushes me to the edge of the chair sits next to me and bear hugs me and I hold on for dear life. She combs through my hair lovingly.

"Shhh it going to be okay Bella you'll see."

"I know but it's still scary" I whined little a little kid.

"Suck it up and put on your big girl panties. Got it!" Alice said excitedly

I smiled, "Yeah I got it" I say so my phone starts to beep. It's Edward telling me he's in front of the building.

"Oh Alice I'm going to leave my car here, I'll tell Edward to drop me off at your apartment and we can ride together."

"Okay great I can't wait for another sleep over" Alice says enthusiastically.

I kissed Alice on the cheek and told her good-bye. I gave myself a little peep talk as I was riding down in the elevator to the lobby. When the elevator door opened and I saw Edward standing there waiting some of my fears disappeared but most of them where still there but that's okay I can do this.

"Hey," wow that was the best that I could come up with. What an amazing greeting.

"Hey Bella, I'm really excited where are you taking me." His greeting was better.

"Well where I'm taking you it's a secret and it would be better we kept it that way."

"You're not going to kill me are you and bury me in a park?" Edward says jokingly.

"Not yet, why are doing something to do tomorrow?" I tell him taking to put on a serious face but I am failing miserably.

"Well no I'm not but I have this reason great tub of ice cream that I just bought I would very much like to eat it," and that where the game stopped.

I laugh, "Really that's what you look forward to, eating ice cream." I say in between laughing.

"Well I would have said I look forward to see you but I thought it would be too cheesy" he gave me his signature grin.

"It wouldn't have been too cheesy," I kiss him on the cheek. "Come on we should get going" I grab his hand and head towards the door. When we step outside parked outside was a grey Volvo XC 90.

"Nice car" I wasn't sure if that was the car I picture for Edward, on previous dates I never paid any attention to the car he drove.

"Thanks it's very safe and dependable, it's an amazing car." He smiled proudly at his car.

"Do you mind me driving it?" Edward looked at me as if I was crazy. "It's just that you'll never find the place, don't worry I won't scratch your 'precious'" I say trying my best to sound like Gollum from the Lord of the Rings.

"Good impression of Gollum" Edward says.

"Thanks, now hand over the keys" I hold out my hand to him and he drop the key in.

I walk to the side of the driver and am stopped by Edward as he open the door for me, "Thank you."

"No problem," he says as he closes the door for me.

When he gets into the car I start it and head to The Greek Theatre, because I'm in Hollywood the theatre isn't that far away but it will be a bit of a drive over there. We're about half way there when I look over at Edward who hasn't talk the entire ride is squeezing the arm rest on the door.

"Hey are you okay over there?" I ask.

"Yup just great" he squealed.

"Hey! I'm not a bad driver, I'm a great driver learn from my dad."

"Yeah right you went through a red light." He screams

"No I didn't it was yellow" I calming said back.

"It was red!"

"Liar it was yellow!" I yell. "You know what it doesn't matter just cool down I'm not going to kill you."

"You almost did," he mumbles thinking I didn't hear him.

"What was that?" I wanted to be annoyed with him but I couldn't when he's pouting like a little kid.

"Oh nothing, nothing at all" he says as he crosses his arm over his chest.

"Oh hush we're almost there."

"So are you going to tell me where we're going or do I have to guess?" Edward asks me.

"You can try to guess but I doubt you figure it out." I say proudly.

"Okay are we going to a park?" he asks me his first question. So I guess we were playing 20 questions.

"Sort of it's in my park." I say vaguely.

"Okay, is it an amusement park?"

"No" I giggle.

"Hmmm… is it horse stables?"

"No not even close" I giggle and see that we are about to pass The Greek Theatre.

"Are we going to a concert?"

"No we are not as you can see we are passing it. Oh and that's The Greek Theatre like in 'Get Him to the Greek,' that a cool movie."

"Really wow, that's cool" Edward looked in awe. "Okay I give up, just tell me" he pleaded with me.

"I knew you would but we're almost there" I say as I drive further up the hill.

I drive for a few more minutes when my destination comes into view and I'm glad that there are not a lot of people out here today.

"There we're here," I say and point to the great big white building. "That's the Griffin Observatory, I come here to think and look up at the stars."

"Wow it's amazing, I've heard of this place but I didn't think it would be anything like this" he says in awe. I find a parking that is fairly close to the entrance.

"Yup this is it, come on let's go check it out." I tell me, we both get out of the car at the same time. I lead Edward to the entrance and ask him if he would like to see the inside of the observatory, he looks at me confused.

"Aren't we here to look inside?"

"No there's something else I want to show you, don't worry we can come back to see it in the day time." Even though it opens late I didn't bring him here for that.

"Okay then lead the way" he says confidently.

"Come on then we're going to take a hike" I tell Edward and he had a panicked look go across his face. "It's not that far don't worry" he looked relieved.

I led Edward down a little pathway that leads to a hiking trail. Hiking through this trail always brings me peace I always this trail was so cool because it will take you to the L.A. Zoo and the Hollywood sign. I led us less than a mile down the Observatory from where we are standing you can look up and see the Observatory. I sit on a nearby bolder and Edward follows.

"When I first moved out here there were so many things going wrong in my life and I didn't know how to deal with it all, so one day I decided to come here and explore and I found this little resting place it brought me so much peace" I explain.

"What happened?" Edward asked nervously.

"When I was a freshman in college I met this guy that was a junior he was every girls dream and he chose me" I paused for a second. "He was so sweet, caring, and everything I wanted in a boyfriend but I think what I had loved most about him was that he was charming, he could get me to smile with one look." I take a moment to remember him.

"So what happened to this perfect guy?" Edward asked me. He didn't sound annoyed but curious.

I snort, "This 'perfect' guy's name is James and we dated for about 2 years thing were going really well I thought we were going to get married. My best friend saw James shopping for engagement rings but when I never got the ring I told myself that it wasn't him that she saw."

"That was around the time of our 1st year anniversary so when another year went by I was sure that he would propose on our 2nd anniversary but it didn't happen instead I got other news." Tears start to fall down my face and Edward whips them away.

"It's okay Bella you don't have to tell me" Edward tells me.

"No its okay you should know." I composed myself before continuing on. "That night I fixed James a celebratory dinner in my apartment we didn't live together which now I'm thankful for, but he never showed up. I waiting all night but nothing not even a call or text I couldn't understand how he would forget when he was the one that never forgot important dates like that."

"The next morning I had class all day so I couldn't really talk to him until later that night, after class I went to see him at his apartment, and I was surprised to see that he wasn't alone. A woman answered his door claiming to be his fiancée I asked James to explain things, he said he would come to my apartment so that we could talk."

"He came over and told me that the woman that answered the door was telling the truth, he said the reason he missed our anniversary dinner was because his was in Vancouver for their rehearsal dinner. He also told me the reason he continued on with our relationship was that he didn't want to let go of a good thing and he didn't want to give me up."

"I just could do it; I couldn't even look at him. Their wedding was 2 days after that and he moved to Vancouver after that." I cried harder.

"I'm so sorry that happened to you Bella. Something similar happened to me when I was doing my residency in Seattle" He whispered to me. I looked into his eyes and saw the pain.

"What happened?" I asked

"Well my girlfriend Tanya cheated on me with one of my co-workers and got pregnant she tried to play it off as mine but I already had a suspicion, the co-worker liked to brag so he put the doubt in my head and I was right" he paused. "But I'm okay now, I moved on and even though it took me awhile I'm grateful I found out I would have been raising someone else's kid."

"There are times where I think I have truly moved on but then something happens and I'm reminded of him, plus around that time it was really hitting me that my brother wasn't coming back" I pause. "I really needed my brother but he chose his wife over his whole family and that hurt, it still does he tried to apologize but I couldn't accept it was too little too late."

"You'll forgive him one day it just take time to get over your abandonment issues don't worry your relationship with your brother will get better in time" he tell me as he hug me tightly.

"So we're both damaged" I chuckle.

"Yup but I wouldn't have us any other way" Awe I hug him so tightly and kiss him on the cheek.

"I really like you Edward and I want to take this relationship slowly I don't want to rush things."

"I like you too and I'll take it as slowly as you want. Bella would you be my girlfriend? Wow that made me sound like I was in high school." He says and I laugh.

"I would love to be your girlfriend as long as I get to wear your letterman jacket" I joke and he laughs.

"You can if you want I think I still have it" I giggle.

"No you keep it but I might want it later" I didn't mean that to come out as a sexual innuendo but that how he took it.

"Really," he says raising his eyebrows. "I'm trying to picture it just give me a minute." I slap him in the arm.

"Don't be a perv!" I giggle. "We should probably be going its getting cold" I say as my body begins to shiver.

"Oh man, here have my sweater," he says as he hand me his sweater.

"Thank you."

We held hand as we walks back to his car in complete silent we didn't need to talk; I could feel that familiar electric shock. It felt nice just walking with him I never wanted to let him go. When we got to the car I stared up at Edward silently asking if he was going to let me drive again or if he was banded me.

"You know you're not driving my baby right" Edward tells me

"Yeah I kind of figured when you pulled that big show in the car that you were scared" I giggle.

"Oh it wasn't a show it was real I thought I was going to die in that car."

"You big liar I know how to drive safely!" I yelled

"Mmmmhmmm" was all he said.

I gave him direction to Alice's apartment in Hollywood, he asked me if I lived there but I explained to him what had happened last night that made me want to stay with Alice. He wanted to meet Alice but I told him it would be better if he met her when she wasn't in her pajamas and he agreed.

We sat in the car outside of Alice's apartment building for what seemed like hours, it was getting harder and harder to say good-bye but we had to.

"Thank you Edward for tonight, I'm relieved that I finally told you about my past and for understanding."

"You don't have to thank me I really want to be with you, everybody has a past just don't lets it rule your life." Edward tells me.

I lean over the center console and take Edward by surprise when I kiss him on the lips; I ended the kiss too soon, "Good night Edward."

"Good night Bella," and with that I got out of the car and went inside I turn back him to see that he was waving at me and I waved back.

Ah tonight was a perfect night.

A/N: I hope everyone enjoy my Easter/Passover gift to you all. Leave me some love and tell me what you think about what going on with Edward and Bella.

HAPPY EASTER/PASSOVER

Until next time! :-]