Heyyy, guys! So, once again, I almost forgot that it was Monday. I love summer vacations. Anyway, thanks to IWriteNaked for beta'ing, and to my friends, clarissadele (there's your shoutout omg :)), DeathCabForMari, spikeyhairgood, and LuckyAsLockhart. You guys are all gr9. Also, clarissadele was reading chapter 1 and we argued for an entire night because Clary never said she was ordering the pizza with soda. Unbelievable. Like, pizza + soda is the best combo of all time, and Clary knows that. DUH.

So, first off: thank you for the 200 reviews, guys! You're all amazing and I'm really happy that you've all reviewed the story. :)) It really means a lot to me to see that you guys have things to say about the story, so thank you!

Secondly: the incident with Alec and the french fries totally happened, and it's based on a true story. (It happened to my brother when he was, like, 3. He's gross.)

Thirdly: I know that a lot of you will doubt me a little after you read this chapter. But I promise that things will change a lot for Clary between this chapter and the end of the story, so keep that in mind.

I hope you like this chapter!

And I don't know how it gets better than this
You take my hand and drag me head first
Fearless
And I don't know why, but with you I'd dance
In a storm, in my best dress
Fearless

..

Well you stood there with me in my doorway
My hands shake
I'm not usually this way but
You pull me in and I'm a little more brave
It's the first kiss
It's flawless
Really something
It's fearless

"Fearless" by Taylor Swift

It is the beginning of my sophomore year, and I'm on edge.

Things have remained the same throughout the summer. I've been talking to Sebastian, as per usual, and Isabelle and Simon are still going strong. The only "big" thing that has changed is that Alec and Magnus are in a secret relationship.

I know. Secret.

The two of them stumbled over their words a bit when they tried to explain the reasoning behind the secrecy, but they came up with a pretty solid one. "The truth is," Alec said three weeks ago, "my parents aren't ready for this. And it's our senior year," he added, "and we don't know if this is gonna last, so we're keeping it subtle for now."

Magnus is the one that hasn't been happy with it. Anyone can tell from just looking at him that he's the kind of guy who likes to flaunt things, and it must be killing him that he can't do that with Alec. Either way, though, he's being supportive about it. He isn't giving Alec shit about it, which is definitely nice.

Anyway, the five of us have developed a friend group of sorts. I don't know how, because I never thought I'd be friends with Alec, but we end up getting breakfast before school together—all five of us. We make plans for lunch, too, so it's not a one-time thing or anything, I guess.

"Are you excited for your last year?" Isabelle asks Magnus and Alec, smiling excitedly. She's like a mom who's sending her kids off to school.

Magnus nods. "I'm ready to get it over with, but it's honestly gonna be full of a lot of work."

"It's not gonna be fun," Alec agrees. "But, on the other hand, we get to graaaaaduate."

"Yeah," Simon concedes, "but you also have to apply to college and think about the future."

Isabelle sighs and rolls her eyes. "Damn it, Simon, why do you have to ruin such beautiful moments?"

The rest of us shake our heads. We eat for a bit in silence, enjoying the low music playing. It's just instrumentals now, but it's really nice. It kind of makes me sleepy, actually.

"Are you guys excited?" Magnus asks. "I mean, it is sophomore year."

"I hated sophomore year," Alec comments.

"Yeah?"

He nods. "I had terrible teachers."

I grimace. "Thanks, Alec."

"You guys are gonna be fine," he replies. "You have us to guide you."

"Yeah. We'll tell you about the teachers you get assigned to."

When the clock strikes 7:30, we make our way out of the coffee shop and into Manhattan's busy streets. As per usual, the sound of honking and people talking over each other becomes the soundtrack that moves me forward and in the direction of school. I really love living in the city. I love how it makes me blend in and stand out all at once.

My phone vibrates in my pocket. It's a Facebook message from Sebastian.

Sebastian Verlac

Yo, Fray, are you here yet?

Clary Fray

Nah, I was getting food with my friends, but I'm on my way now. What's up?

Sebastian Verlac

I'm super bored. When you get your schedule, send me a picture.

Clary Fray

Okay. Same to you.

I place my phone inside my cardigan's pocket and move forward. We make it to school ten minutes before our assembly is set to start, so we rush into the multipurpose room. Unfortunately, this means that all of our seats are in the back. I strain to hear what the speakers are saying, but it's not like it matters anyway.

When the assembly itself is over, we walk over to the tables located all around with our last names and whatnot. I walk over to mine, get my schedule, and make my way outside. My friends and I had agreed to meet up inside the cafeteria so that we didn't wait outside in the heat for the rest of us. I walk over to the cafeteria and find myself grateful for the rush of cool air that hits me as I enter. Magnus is the only one sitting there; the L line is always super long.

"Hey," I tell him. "Did you get the classes you wanted?"

He nods. "You?"

I look down at my folded schedule, opening up the paper so that my classes for the semester/year are revealed.

Homeroom: Mrs. Penhallow
Physical Education
World History II
Snack
Chemistry
Geometry
AP Art History
Lunch
Spanish II
AP English Language

I shrug. "They're pretty good. Except for PE, anyway."

I take my phone from my pocket and message Sebastian a picture of my schedule. He replies with a picture of his. I see that we have homeroom, Chemistry, and Spanish II together. It's kind of weird (and hilarious) that we have another science class together, but I don't question it. In fact, I'm kind of looking forward to it.

To science.

What is wrong with me?

But seriously, though, I think that this will be a good year. I know that last year I slacked off and the lines between my personal life and my school life blurred, but I've learned from all the shit that went down. I had a pretty terrible report card for the whole year, which made me want to curl up in a ball and die (As in Spanish and English, Bs in World History and Ceramics I, Cs in Economics, Health, Algebra I, and Biology, and an amazing, outstanding D+ in Drama). Anyway, that kind of performance made me prepare myself for a year of kicking ass academically. High school is difficult, of course, but I'm gonna work. I'm gonna do all of the things that I didn't do last year.

Just last night, I wrote down a list of things I wanted to accomplish. Some of them were very concrete—get better grades, diversify my art methods, become more organized—while others were different—try to be a better friend, become a better person, become stronger. It's the last one that's really important to me, because it's the glue that keeps the whole thing together. Being strong is hard, but necessary. I need to toughen up.

But it's hard to do that when you're the only one that's alone.

I mean, you hear people talking about how being with someone else—romantically, that is—is a relief. All of my life, I've wanted someone to help me carry the weight on my shoulders. I want someone to help me deal with the things I haven't gotten over, to the things that have stuck with me and make me tear up just by thinking of them. There are things—memories, events, whatever—playing inside my head 24/7, and I've always thought that I needed (or at least I wanted) someone else to help me deal with these things, to reassure me that I'm not useless or worthless or all of those things that I feel make up who I am.

And I just want so badly not to need anyone. This is my sophomore year, and I've already gone through that whole thing with Jace, and I want to say that I don't need anyone, but that's not true. Even if I mostly got through this year alone, I obviously didn't do it without a) the help of my friends, and b) my grades going to absolute shit. So, even though I want to say that I don't need anyone, there's a part of me that can easily refute that claim.

These thoughts have ruled my mind for the better part of the summer. When I wasn't goofing around with Simon and Isabelle, paying attention to their relationship, moving my stuff to Luke's, working with my mom, or taking art classes, this is what I thought of. I don't want to depend on the concept of another person holding me up and helping me get through everything. But, at the same time, I kind of do.

Anyway, this train of thought remains in my mind as I go through the day and compare my schedule with Simon, Izzy, and Maia. Simon and I have World History II and AP English together. I share AP English and Spanish II with Isabelle, too, and Chemistry and Geometry with Maia. Not too shabby.

We have to report to our homeroom in five minutes, so the six of us make our way upstairs. Alec and Magnus compare their schedules, since they're in the same grade, but they only have one class together. I'm still pretty bummed that I don't have a class with all three of my friends, but at least I have AP English with Isabelle and Simon.

I make my way into my homeroom, which I share with Sebastian. When I walk into the classroom, he immediately looks up, patting the empty desk behind his. I shake my head and sit behind him.

"This is weird," I tell him.

"What, sharing a homeroom with me?"

"Basically."

He cracks a smile. "Nah. You love it."

"Well, I'm not blatantly opposed to it."

He shakes his head. "You're too stubborn."

"Hey," I say. "Thanks again for your help during finals last year. I wouldn't have passed Bio without you."

"You're welcome. Maybe you'll be good at Chemistry," he jokes, knowing full and well that I suck at all sciences. Period.

"Asswipe," I mutter, unable to help the smile that creeps onto my face. "How was your summer?"

Sebastian shrugs. "It was alright. I worked at my aunt Elodie's store and just hung out with my friends. Partied a little. How about you?"

"I took some art classes. And, well, we moved into my mom's fiancé's apartment, and I hung out with my friends. Ohh, and I was grounded for a while."

"What'd you do?"

"Well, let's just say that my grades were way below average." I wince. "But it's all in the past now."

He nods. "You'll kick ass this year. Last year was tough for everyone."

"Not for my friends. They managed to get decent grades."

"But you're not them," he reminds me. "You're still super smart. You probably had your own shit going on. People handle stuff differently, you know?"

I give him a sincere smile. "Thanks, Sebastian."

"You're very welcome, Clary."

The bell for homeroom rings, and our teacher begins by introducing herself. She's Mrs. Penhallow, the AP Statistics teacher at the school. She also teaches Algebra II, apparently, so that's good to know. She's actually really nice—authoritative, but with a warm kind of vibe to her. Like, if you respect her, then she'll like you, and it'll be nice. Which seems just like the kind of thing I need for this year, actually.

She talks about herself for a bit before asking us to introduce ourselves. She tells us to state our name, age, and favorite class. When it's my turn, I just say, "I'm Clary Fray, I'm fifteen years old, and my favorite subject is English," even though my favorite subject is actually pretty much anything related to art. Sebastian knows this, so he gives me a weird look.

He presents himself by saying, "Yo, I'm Sebastian, I'm fifteen, and I like anything related to science." Which is kind of adorable. People clap. They do tend to love him.

The bell rings, and I hurry out to World History II. Fortunately, our lockers are on the second floor this year, and so are my homeroom and first period classes, so I only have to make it three classrooms down before I'm there.

The rest of the day goes by in a daze. The only kind of mildly interesting thing that happens is that Sebastian becomes my lab partner. See, I thought they partnered you up with the person sitting beside you on the four-person table, so I chose Maia, but apparently the teacher chooses the person sitting in front of you, so my partner is Sebastian Verlac—which is probably a good thing, because he loves science.

And because he's actually a pretty cool dude.

Aside from that, my day isn't eventful at all. I stick close to the people I know, and Jordan and Maia still have some unresolved sexual tension, which is tangible, basically, as we walk through the hallways and the two of them see each other and their eyes meet and it's like the whole world stops while the two of them walk past each other, both of them wanting to say something but never finding the courage to do so. We are suspended in time until there's enough distance so that the tension drops and we feel like we can breathe again, and Maia always looks a thousand times sadder than she did before.

We already have some homework for a few classes, but we go over to Izzy's anyway. Simon's the only one who lives in Brooklyn now, so he always has to leave a little earlier. We're well aware of our time constraint as we walk into Isabelle's luxurious home. Goddamn.

We order pizza and eat it as we talk about our day. The six of us—Magnus, Isabelle, Alec, Simon, Maia, and I—share our different experiences. We talk about the annoying people that stand in the hallway, blocking everyone else solely because they wanna gossip with another person when they can easily just text them after they get to their classrooms. God. Anyway, we talk about our teachers, always asking Alec and Magnus for their opinions and advice. By the time the sun begins to set, we're all getting ready to leave, and the nerves I felt earlier today are calm.

It's just like every other year, only I'm actually excited now. I'm excited to prove to myself how strong I can be. I'm determined as hell to do well, which makes this year the best one of all of them.

"How was the first day of school?" my mom asks before taking a bite of her homemade salad.

"Boring," I reply.

"Eh," my brother says, chugging down his orange juice. Jesus H. Christ. He pours himself some more. "It's senior year, so no one really cares anymore."

"You still have to work hard," she says, wagging her finger at him. "I won't have you getting home with a crappy report card."

"Don't worry, Mom. I'm not Clary."

I take a deep breath and consider leaving it alone before saying fuck it all to hell to myself in my mind and speaking up. "Shut the hell up, Jon." Well, it's not the smoothest (or wittiest) retort, but it's the only thing that's coming out of my mouth.

"Clarissa!" my mom says, appalled.

"Jocelyn," Luke says, voice calm, "Clary isn't in the wrong for wanting to defend herself. But please," he adds, addressing me this time, "refrain from cursing, Clary."

I roll my eyes. "Whatever." I stab at my salad as Jocelyn and Luke scold Jonathan.

Here's the thing: for the longest time, all I've wanted to do was get out. Whenever someone in my family humiliates me or makes me feel like shit, I just dream of a day when I'll live far away from home. Whenever I remember all the crap that they've put me through, I just think of how far I'll be when I'm in college, doing what I love to do. That's what's kept me going through years of being treated unfairly. And, yeah, it's gotten considerably easier lately, but it doesn't mean that I don't get offended whenever they try to put me down, or whenever I remember the crap that's happened in the past. So, right now, as I force myself to eat dinner, I just think of getting out. College. Being on my own. Just three more years.

After dinner, I storm to my room. The one here's considerably nicer than the one back in Brooklyn; this one has actual space for me to move, and my bed is bigger. I turn on my laptop and make myself comfortable, totally ready to start marathoning 30 Rock, when I get a new message on Facebook.

Sebastian Verlac

Hey

I take note of my racing heart and shake my head at myself.

Clary Fray

Yo

Sebastian Verlac

So I wanted to ask you something

Clary Fray

So ask me something

Sebastian Verlac

Do you wanna go out sometime?

Clary Fray

As in like a date?

I hesitate for a second before pressing send, a smile forming on my face. Okay, so I like Sebastian a little. Sue me. Sue me hard.

Sebastian Verlac

Yeah, Clary, as in like a date

I can't help but smile hard. I want to tell everyone—I want to tell Isabelle, because she stares at his ass every single time he walks by—that I'm going out with Sebastian. And, of course, by "everyone," I mean everyone in my group of friends.

Clary Fray

Sure thing. We'll work out the details tomorrow?

Sebastian Verlac

Sounds like a plan

I send Isabelle the text shortly after he sends that message, and she sends me a bunch of exclamation marks followed by a million messages in all-caps. He and I continue our separate conversation, but I text Isabelle before sending a message to the group chat, and then Maia, Simon, Izzy, and I die over what's happening.

Because I'm going out.

With Sebastian Verlac.

On Friday, at 3:32pm, I stand in front of the long mirror that sits beside my dresser, looking at what I'm wearing.

I didn't ask Isabelle to come over to help me. I've been sending her pictures of everything, but she's out with Simon, and I didn't want to interrupt. Also, I didn't want her to make me more nervous than I actually am, so there's that.

My phone vibrates, the sound resonating as the phone's vibrations connect with the hard wood of my dresser. I grab my phone and answer, hesitating for a split second after seeing that it's Sebastian.

"Hey," I answer. "What's up?" I hope that my voice didn't shake. Did it shake? Oh my God, I'm screwed. Forever.

"Hi," he replies, and I can picture his stupidly charming smile on the other end. "I'm almost here. You told me to wait downstairs, right?"

"Yup," I reply. I so wish that he could come up and make it all very stereotypical and nice, but I don't want my mother to eff things up for me again, so I don't take any chances. "I'll be right down."

"Okay," he says. "See you then."

After we hang up, I decide on some skinny jeans, a white shirt, an olive green cardigan, and my Converse. I grab my bag and brush my hair once more, making sure that the curls aren't acting up too much before declaring that I'm leaving.

My mom's in her room, getting ready to go out and do wedding stuff, but she calls out, "Be safe, honey!"

"Yeah!" is the last thing I say to her before I slam the apartment door shut and make my way down the stairs, excitement coursing through my veins. It feels like the high I get after drinking insane amounts of coffee.

The hot summer air is exhausting to someone who would rather have winter weather than hot temperatures, but I still power through it. I see Sebastian as soon as I make my way downstairs. He looks gorgeous, his hands shoved into his jean pockets.

"Hey," I say again.

"Hi," he replies, smiling. He actually has dimples.

Oh no. I'm gone.

"So," I start, "where are we going?"

He grins, shaking his head at me. "That's a surprise."

"But I hate surprises."

"You'll love this one, I promise."

"But—"

"I promise."

I give up the subject after that, a smile still faintly on my face. I may hate secrets, but he makes it impossible for me to dislike anything when he's involved. I mean, he's just such a cool dude. He makes me feel really comfortable, and he's gorgeous, and smart, and—

I need to stop.

"Something really gross happened at my cousin's school today," Sebastian tells me. "Do you wanna know?"

"I kind of have to know now." I nod.

"So this girl—she was about seven—was complaining about how her panties were falling," he says, raising an eyebrow. "And she wouldn't stop complaining, so they sent her to the nurse so that they could figure something out."

"Right."

"Yeah. But then they realized that she was talking about her pants, not her panties. Anyway, they were gonna get her new pants, as one usually does, and they had to take off her shoes to help her change, right?"

"Yeah."

"Well, when they take off the shoe, they find a cockroach stuck in there."

I actually stop walking. I stop walking. "What?" The mere idea makes me want to run as fast as I can while making sure that no fucking animal has crawled inside my shoes or anything that belongs to me, really.

He nods rapidly. He actually looks kind of excited/fascinated by this. It's freaking me out, but it's also making me smile. Ugh. "I know, right?! It's so weird. She never even felt it. The whole time, she was just concerned about her pants."

"That little girl has deep psychological issues. Also"—I punch his shoulder, earning a quick noise of faint pain and a feeling of satisfaction—"that's the worst story you could ever tell on a first date, you jackass."

"Aw, are you scared of insects?"

I glare at him. "If I ever find one, I will call you, and you'll take care of it."

He bows dramatically. "It'd be my pleasure to get rid of bugs for you."

"How romantic," I say dryly.

"Come on," he says, taking my hand as if it were no big deal at all, "we're close."

I swear to God, this boy will be the end of me with his cockroach stories and handholding and dimples. God.

We walk through the familiar New York streets—and end up in a Central Park. What? Honestly, I was too engrossed in my own thoughts to notice that we ended up here, but we are inside Central Park. I look over at Sebastian, confused.

"Why are we in Central Park?"

He smiles. "Don't worry. I just wanna show you something."

"Uh-huh."

Sebastian shakes his head. "I'm not gonna murder you or anything. Seriously, you'll love this."

"I'm a little scared."

"Don't be."

"Yeah, thanks," I say, sarcasm dripping from my voice.

I take out my iPod and suggest that we listen to music as we walk through Central Park. In reality, it is beautiful. The light hits the trees perfectly, and I'm glad that the sun doesn't begin setting until, like, seven. God bless. The two of us walk, a song about love playing in the background, our hands clasped tightly together. And we don't say anything, because we don't have to—we just walk, and we let ourselves find comfort in each other's presence.

After a while, my legs start to ache, but I know that this date is just getting started. I look over at him for a second, but it's enough to reassure me of what I already knew: he is so attractive. Just…damn. Seriously. I shake my head and look at the path ahead of us.

"Here," he says, leading me in a different direction. The two of us walk past an elderly couple and find ourselves staring at something that I did not know existed up until right now.

"Oh my God," I say, eyeing the Alice in Wonderland statue in awe. "It's so beautiful. And kind of weird, actually, but beautiful." I turn to him. "Why'd you wanna show me this?"

"Because you're beautiful. And kind of weird." He laughs, his nose crinkling as he does so. "Well, actually, that's a lie. This is gonna be kind of weird, but I remember that you liked Alice in Wonderland. I remember last year, when you walked into Bio with the leather bound edition your friends had gotten you as a late birthday present."

"That's unbelievable." I shake my head. "I can't believe you remember that."

He shrugs. "It's a mix of the beautiful-yet-weird thing and that. I just thought you'd like it."

"I do." I take out my phone. "Go pose with Alice."

I take a picture of him and the statue, which has Alice and her friends. He takes one of me, too, and then we ask a passerby if he minded taking a picture of the two of us together. By the time we're done, we're laughing at the middle-aged woman's expression when we took a picture making silly faces, and we're holding hands again, admiring the way the sky prepares for the sunset.

"What's next, then?" I ask with a smile.

"Oh, the rest of today's pretty normal. Sorry to disappoint," he adds. "But the rest is just us eating at Panera."

"I love it," I tell him with a grin.

The two of us resume listening to music together as we watch people walk by, admiring the beauty of the park. Seriously. There is nothing like Central Park, regardless of the season, though there's no denying that the colors in the summer are vibrant and alive and amazing. I don't know how I'm gonna go about living elsewhere for college.

Because, yeah, that's a thing. Despite the fact that my mom and I have improved our relationship, it doesn't mean that I've forgotten everything she's done to me. It doesn't mean I've forgotten about wanting to take off. I'm honoring that. I'm leaving home, but I'll miss the place. There's nothing like it. Sure, it can also be a real shithole sometimes, but you can find beauty in the most unexpected places here. And I love cities.

Anyway, this is my first date. As far as first dates—and pretty much all dates in general—go, I think it's pretty solid.

We take the subway to get to Panera, and the two of us find corner seats. There's a mom with a kid sitting in front of us, and I focus on looking at our intertwined hands. I can't help but smile, because this whole thing was so scary to me before. I got so anxious before my date, but he makes me pretty comfortable. I lean into him, and the two of us keep listening to music together until we get out of the subway and out onto the streets.

Panera is one of my favorite places. It's cheap and amazing and they have the best mac and cheese in the world. The two of us order mac and cheese, and I get a side of bread with that, and it's pretty magical. We talk about growing up, about school, our friends, what we like—it's pretty much standard conversation, but he does tell me the story of how he tried to run away in one of those battery-powered cars for children and he got as far as the end of the street before he got embarrassed and scared and returned to his house.

I like him a lot.

By the time we get to my house, the sun is setting, and the streets look even more beautiful than usual. Sunsets are my favorites. I don't think there's a single person that hates sunsets. They're so beautiful and aesthetically pleasing and ugh. I love them. And I love to paint them. Anyway, I don't want this date to end, but we make it to my building, and it's time to say goodbye way too soon.

"This was a lot of fun," I tell him. "Honestly, I had an amazing time. Best first date ever."

"This was your first date?" At my nod, he smiles. "You're practically a pro."

I let out a string of laughter. "Thanks, Seb."

"I'm really glad that you said yes to this."

"So am I."

"So." He pauses, and it's a bit awkward, but also adorable. "Can I kiss you?"

And this is when I get really nervous.

We get really close, our mouths close to touching. It kind of just happened, honestly. It sounds ridiculous, but we're suddenly too close for me to breathe without breathing his exhale, and it's weird. And I want to kiss him more than anything in the world.

"I might suck at this," I whisper.

"I'll forgive you," he says, closing the space between us.

My arms lock behind his neck, pulling him closer to me. I have to stand on my tiptoes, and his hands are on the small of my back, pressing us together. It's not a long kiss, but it's a good one, and, when we break away, I can't help but smile like an idiot.

"That was nice," I say.

"It was amazing." He wraps an arm around me. "You didn't suck."

"Thanks," I tell him.

"I have to go, but I'll text you, okay?"

I nod. "Bye, Seb. Thanks for today."

"Always, Fray."

I make my way inside my apartment building. When I get inside, my mom bombards me with questions, but I'd already come up with excuses and everything. Soon enough, I'm inside my bedroom, and I still feel his kiss on my lips.

And it's awesome.

Let me know what you think! xo