CHAPTER SONG INSPIRATION: Change - Deftones (Cover by Violet Orlandi) [delicious rhythm for the smut]
WARNINGS: profanity, fights, angst, mentions of murder & past questionable behavior, graphic depictions of oral sex, p*ssy worship, mild praise kink, sniffing kink, soft Kylo giving Rey the tender sex she deserves
A/N: I'm way more active on twitter, cthulu_priestess, and AO3, Angelic_Hellraiser.
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"Take me I'm alive.
Never was a girl with a wicked mind.
But everything looks better when the sun goes down."
- Make Me Wanna Die / The Pretty Reckless
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HER KILLING MOON
CHAPTER XIV: FOUNTAIN OF RAPTURE
- o -
Bodhi whines.
It's been almost a week and he still refuses to approach Rey, though he does keep a moderately close proximity to her person. Protecting her, she knows, but still frightened of her scent, how it has changed. Not to mention all the trauma he endured after that fateful night when she disappeared.
She glances back at him meandering in the tall grass while she sits under the roof of the gazebo, enjoying the feel of the crisp autumn breeze. Paige had been the one to find him at one of the little rescue centers near Rosewater, no more three-weeks-old, mangy and abused, skittish of everyone. He had always trembled back then, in desperate need of body heat.
When Rey had found him sitting on her bed Christmas morning with a velvet red bow wrapped around his neck and a note from the Ticos she had wept. Back then, she never entertained the idea of having a pet, but seeing his floppy ears and big brown eyes her heart had simply melted on the spot.
Bodhi was Rose's idea, which probably was for the best, because the only names that had come to Rey's mind at the time had been Moose or Copper. Bodhi fits him best. The animal pauses and looks up at her, innately aware of the direction of her thoughts and she smiles at him, clicking her tongue encouragingly, yet he maintains his distance.
Not allowing it to bother her, Rey looks away to the night sky, a thing she has been doing more and more lately. She misses the dawn, though, the break of the morning sun over the sleepy horizon as it electrifies the clouds in those vibrant wake-up colors.
She misses its warmth.
It's a unique kind of warmth, beginning as a thrill at the base of one's spine, a whisper of possibilities that makes one's stomach jump with anticipation before tumbling headlong into a break for the precipice of potentiality. Like the look ofhis eyes as he'd gazed down at her in the throes of passion, a discombobulated mess of warring hunger and capitulation shaking her to her very bones. No one had ever looked at her that way, like the world itself had spun off its axis and she was the only thing keeping them from spinning with it. Her heart whispers the word, but she dares not say it, not even in her mind. Such flights of fancy should be discouraged, especially in these types of situations.
But she trusts him… as much as that terrifies her.
And what's more?
She scarcely knows anything of his past, only that he seeks revenge; more probably, than any feelings he harbors for her. He is a man who fights a war against his own mother, loyal to a monster so she's been told, a traitor to his own species and a killer who won't think twice if someone stands in his way.
Should she be so foolish as to believe he would choose her over something he has sought most of his life? Of course not. A part of her yearns for it, nonetheless.
With the passing week, Maz has checked in on her as well as Ruelle, the latter visiting twice and scolding Rey for still refusing to open the bags Kylo had specifically bought for her. After thirty minutes of bickering Ruelle had finally convinced her to try on a few outfits. Rey ended up, by no stretch of the imagination, liking the only non-black ensemble of the bunch. She wears it tonight.
From the corner of her eye she catches the flashing streak of a shooting star and her lips break into a smile. Perhaps there is room to hope. She wonders idly when Kylo will return, a blush suffusing her cheeks as she relives the memory of his taste. Sharp and electric, like the man. The wolf. Her core throbs with desire and she traces her neck, thinking of how rough he had been, how that next night found her throat raw, yet the power of her actions had still crackled over her skin like a lingering clap of thunder.
Rey licks her lips, wishing for him.
Time ticks by and she drifts deeper into her own thoughts until her ears pick up on the distant sound of an approaching car. She shoots to her feet, looking out across the long expanse of Maz's vineyard some two miles to the main road. Bright headlights cut through the gloom as they turn onto the driveway and make their way up to the villa. She recognizes the headlights at once and her heart flutters in her chest. Bodhi takes notice as well, a warning bark interrupting the drone of cricket song.
She hurries for the house, a whirring sense of excitement buzzing through her veins. As he arrives he swings the car around the circular drive to the front terrace and she bounds down the steps, giving him little time to exit his car before crashing into him and taking his unruly black locks into her hands. He moans against her mouth and drags her flush to his body at once, drinking her in with frenzied impatience as she nips at his lower lip a little too hard, fangs raking tender flesh.
"Easy." he chides.
Rey ignores him, forcing up his chin with her nose and staking claim to every inch of exposed skin she can find, suckling and biting his neck until he pivots, slamming her up against the side of his car and grinding into her.
"I said easy!" he growls, forcing his hips hard enough to hurt.
She releases a soft gasping mewl and glares at him. "Where have you been?"
He doesn't answer at first, holding her there with his hands cupped on her ass and his eyes growing hazy. Then, shaking his head to clear it he releases her and steps away. "Busy," is all he says.
Her anger spikes, though she holds her tongue, assessing his appearance. Unease radiates off of him, he also appears far more haggard than when last they met… and he already beared the look of a man in need of a century's worth of slumber the first night they met.
"Something's wrong."
He glances at her, a pained tremor flickering under his eye and tensing the corner of his mouth faster than he can hide it. He tries however, looking out at the city lights on the horizon. "Something is always wrong."
A nasty tightness balls in her chest. "Is it…?"
"No. Paige and Rose are safe as far as I'm aware." But there is an edge to his tone she doesn't quite like.
"I know your master wants me dead, but I need to see them. I need to know—"
"Paige has been taken in by the Resistance."
His statement gives her pause. "So—so she's awake? She's okay?"
"I don't know that. All I know is that they have her."
Rey frowns at him. "You don't seem particularly surprised about it."
A veiled emotion passes over his face quicker than she can decipher it; then, it vanishes. Shaking his head he starts for the house, leaving her gaping after him. What the hell?
"Hey! Don't you walk away from me!" she shouts, chasing him down and kicking the door open.
"This isn't your house." he reminds her impassively.
"Oh, piss off! I could care less if I damaged the fucking drywall! And don't do that!"
"Do what?"
"That deadpan thing you do when you want to irritate someone! I'm asking about my friends! Tell me what happened!"
He glances around the room, fixating on an inconsequential painting of a raging sea surrounding two indistinct figures.
"Damn it! I know something has happened, Kylo! Now tell me, or so help me God I'll—"
"You'll what?" he asks, his lips softening in that devastating way that makes her knees go weak.
Rey clamps her jaw shut, fury livening her veins. "I'll rip your throat out with my bare teeth!" she seethes, the words cutting through the air like daggers.
A dark shadow of delight passes over him. "You would, wouldn't you?"
"Yes."
"You'd punish me for my past sins. A fitting end don't you think?"
What? She hesitates, her furor momentarily guttering. "What are you…?"
"Would you afford me that kindness, Rey?" He takes a step closer, hand outstretched. "Would you?"
She shakes her head. "You're crazy."
"Astute." he remarks.
"Sarcastic prick."
Kylo shakes his head as if to convince her of no intended disrespect before continuing on that vein. "And as an astute individual, you must see where all this is leading."
"I'm not going to play games with you." she retorts waspishly.
"I'm not playing games, Rey. Look at your life, what's happened to you." He motions his hand up and down at her and swallows, his adam's apple bobbing at his throat. "This life isn't one you can learn to accept."
"Don't change the subject!"
"You are not someone made to live without the sun." Another shuffling step.
Tears, abrupt and unwanted, prick at the corners of her eyes and she feels that powerful swell of wrath diminishing altogether. "Stop." she whispers.
"I was born to this life, Rey." He stands close enough now she can smell the lingering sunlight on him.
Her heart aches at it.
"I've spilled blood, taken countless lives… and I'd do it again. Remember that, Rey."
Murderer. Monster.
"Just stop." she presses back against the door, feeling it slip shut behind her.
He invades her space, his heat everywhere, enveloping her like a blanket. "Even if you hadn't been bitten by a vampire that night I would have done it myself against your will. I'd have made you mine without a second thought of taking you away from your life, your family."
Rey is trembling now, staring up into his impossibly dark eyes like a wild animal too mezmorized to strike. They glint brutally, two waning crescents of amber amid a landscape eclipsed. "I don't believe that." she says, her voice sounding unsure even to her own ears.
He grins, an unnatural twisting of the mouth that makes her chest ache all over again. It looks as if the mad beginnings of a scream, a tireless scream that, she hazards to guess, was long ago stifled by his own hand.
"You have no idea of the things I've done. If you did, you would know better." The octave of his tone drops so low an involuntary shiver crawls up her spine.
"Tell the truth then… and shame the devil." she hisses.
He drags in a stunned gasp, staggered by her challenge.
A part of her teeters in triumph at confounding him, while another holds fast its breath because this has been the very thing she has refused to confront. How far does his sin go?
He stares at her for an eternity, so long the intensity of his gaze muddles her focus and she thinks he will go on staring until she has dropped her eyes, giving this confrontation over to him, but she won't. He should know such things by now. So it surprises her when instead his eyes avert to the windows, though he never quite finds a particular target.
Silence lapses between them.
The heaviness grows.
At last Kylo sighs, drawing back and sauntering over to the couch. He collapses upon it with a subsequent huff, this one shriveling in his shoulders and deflating his earlier bluster. Rey watches from the door as he tears his fingers through his hair and drops his head into his hands, elbows resting on his thighs. He is a broken man wrought with shadowed angles.
She straightens, squaring her posture and approaching him, chin held high. He will tell her the truth tonight, one way or another, though a hidden part of her cowers at the idea of knowing. She stops inches from the couch's arm, hands dutifully at her sides… waiting.
His arms fall, hands coming to dangle before his knees and he looks out in front of him, but what he sees she cannot see. The memories contort his expression, first with frustration, then grief, and behind it all she senses a burgeoning awareness, a shifting of pieces that perhaps had not fit into place until now.
"I killed my father." he whispers.
This part she knew. What she doesn't know is. "How?"
"I took his life with my own sword. I did it right in front of my mother." Each word falls like a stone in a chasm, echoing off the stillness.
Sickening disgust washes over her at once, unchecked, unavoidable and she utters the only thing her vocal cords can muster. "Why?"
He closes his eyes. "Because it was necessary."
"Necessary?"
Rey thinks back to Maz's story, what little the old witch did tell, of Leia Organa's love for a human mate, how she had not the heart to turn him and staring now at the fruition of that pair who seconds ago admitted to murdering said human mate, his own father… in front Leia.
"The truth about my family is a well kept secret among both our kinds. Immortality did not begin from my mother, or my uncle. It began from my grandfather. That much I had known, but what I was never told was that it was my uncle who betrayed and killed him. I eventually learned this truth… after he had made the same attempt on me." Kylo pauses, looking down at his hands. "Snoke was the one who tried to warn me of my uncle's treachery. And afterward, he was the only one to promise the truth. About everything. My father's life was a necessary price to pay."
Rey gapes down at him and shakes her head, the world seeming to fold in on itself in violent motion. Too much information too fast. She tries to take a step back, but a large hand shoots out and wraps securely around her wrist, leading her to the eager arms of her wolf.
In the face of this truth, the disgust multiplies along with her confusion at his story. Honest or not, she cannot help feeling there are pieces, very large integral pieces, missing from his tale. And murdering his own father for the sake of a master who she has been told is a hellish demon. It doesn't add up and that only makes it worse.
"But why your own father?" she asks again, unable to shake the feeling of second-hand betrayal coiling around her heart.
"He was a human. My mother had already violated the laws of our kind by allowing him to remain so. Judgment for such crimes is death… to both parties. What I did was mercy."
Neither of them speak, Kylo allowing the silence to close in around them like a veil, while Rey stares away at some distant point on the wall, unsure of what to think anymore, who to blame. There is no solid answer and it angers her. While feeling revulsion at Kylo's actions and judging them by a simple standard of right and wrong would be easiest, she admits—albeit reluctantly—that this is impossible to do. Impossible because no side is innocent. No side is either completely black, or completely white. Reality is a perplexing monochrome, etched in varying shades of gray.
The warmth of his cheek presses to her stomach and she watches with detached wonderment as he inhales her scent, nuzzling along the curve of her ribs and taking the material of her blouse between his teeth for a moment. Then releasing it.
"You're wearing the clothes I had bought for you." he states offhandedly.
She doesn't reply.
Kylo glances up into her eyes and she is shocked to find a sheen of wetness there… and something else, though he hastily conceals it behind a chuckle. "I was hoping you would wear black, but you chose the only thing not black."
The corner of her lip quirks involuntarily.
He leans down and inhales her scent again, lifting up the hem of her blouse and placing an open-mouthed kiss below her navel. His mouth journeys farther, tongue painting broad lavishing lines over the jut of her delicate hip bones as his arms come around to hook at her waist. Her own automatically lift up to his shoulders, the resulting action of her fingers burying themselves in his hair inescapable. The texture makes her think of petting a large wolf, fur slightly coarse yet silky and she drags her fingers along his scalp, raking them firmly down the back of his skull to his nape. His rumbling sigh tickles her flesh and she melts into him.
A week's worth of desire blossoms from her core despite the unease still rolling through her gut and she bites her lip, considering the scene before her.
Kylo unzips her pants, nuzzling each new patch of exposed flesh before taking the lip of her panties between his teeth—the only black article of clothing she happens to be wearing tonight—and tugs. His dark gaze flicks back to hers as he stretches the elastic, releasing it a second later. Delight cascades down her thighs at the sensation and she exhales breathlessly.
"Rey."
Her name lingers in the silence, a soft requesting of permission and she takes his face in her hands, absorbing the raw array of emotions she sees there. With a single deliberate nod from her, he rises, dwarfing her small hand in his larger one and leading her to her bedroom.
There he proceeds to undress her gradually, piece by piece, planting a garden of affection across every slope and curve as it is exposed until at last she stands naked in front of him, nipples pebbled and pink and aching for his touch. But he merely steps back, dropping his hands to his sides and studying her.
Rey averts her gaze, realizing a warm trail of slick has already gathered at the nest of her thighs and he will see. How can he not? The light will catch just so and his eyes will draw to it like a moth to a flame and— there! His gaze ignites the second he locks in, mouth parting as if an awe-struck priest witnessing the birth of Christ, pupils blown wide, chest heaving in reverence.
"Lie back on the bed." he murmurs huskily.
She bulks, moving to cross her arms before choosing instead to place her hands on her hips. "Not until we're even."
Kylo raises a curious eyebrow and she motions to the very blatant lack of his own nudity.
Understanding dawns on him and he smiles devilishly. "It's my turn tonight, little vampire."
Oh right. Control. She supposes it's only fair after last week, but that does not mean she has to like it. Not one bit.
Acquiescing to his command, Rey sinks back onto the terracotta-colored duvet, running her fingers over the sewn floral textures and looking at him expectantly. Her legs are conspicuously closed, the friction from stepping back and taking a seat only adding to her growing frustration. She knows he can smell her. As if to punctuate her thoughts he steps forward, scenting her with a gluttonous inhale.
He lets out the breath with a tremor through his shoulders. "Part your legs." he orders.
Rey obeys, opening them with only the most modest nibble of her lips and coloring of her cheeks as she recedes back to her elbows, feeling thoroughly exposed under his burning eyes. His fingers flex at his sides and he approaches like a lurching beast, all rolling shoulders and purposeful hands as they settle on her knees. She allows her head to sink onto the bed, but she watches his every move as he lowers himself to his knees.
The two hold the challenging silence for ages before Kylo moves, bracketing his hands at the apex of her thighs and spreading her legs all the way until her they rest in a haphazard indian style. She can feel the teasing chill of the air from how wet she is and, more importantly, she can feel her slick dripping to the duvet beneath her as she thinks fleetingly of first experiences. This will be a first for her tonight.
Kylo dips forward to savor her scent more intimately and she gasps as he ghosts his lips along her inner thigh, picking up a trace of her slick. It coats his mouth with a provocative sheen and her own falls open, eyes going wide at the sight of him and a primal heat so absolute grips the muscles of her cunt. It spasms impatiently and that damnable smile is on him again.
He nuzzles her leg, voice teasing. "I think you like being told what to do." Taking a single finger to her slit, she mewls restlessly as he draws upward to the sensitive pearl of nerves. Then, he brings the digit to his mouth, sucking it clean. "Yeah… you do."
Her arousal spikes and she wriggles uncontrollably, legs wanting to circle around him and latch shut, dragging him down and planting his mouth right where she needs it, but she contains herself, honoring their unspoken rule for now.
Kylo scales up her body, deliberately allowing his pants to rub at her pussy and her back arches, nails digging into the thick material above her. He comes close to her ear, breathing raggedly. "I won't be quick tonight. I'm going to take my time, you filthy minx."
She grins and closes her eyes as he nibbles his way back down her body, lingering at her breasts to show them some much needed attention—
—but not enough.
An indigent huff turns to a hiss as he rubs his hands up under her ass, cupping her cheeks and urging her to lift up. She complies, planting her feet and angling to meet his face, uncaring that her pride and glory knows no more secrecy. Dropping her hands to her sides, she flattens them along with her feet to help maintain her balance. And waits.
Rey does not wait long, because the next second finds her rolling her head back at the sleek press of his tongue over her folds. He works with patient, unhurried meticulousness, kissing her sex until her hips jerk with earnest. Next he moves along her inner thighs, branding fresh bruises into her flesh and making her wail.
This is so unfair.
It only gets worse when he dabs his tongue inside her, once to measure her reaction, which appears to be satisfactory by the grin crinkling his eyes, then twice to elicit the same reaction again. She writhes, her bottom half an altar suspended on wavering legs with her cunt as the offering to his ravenous hunger.
Slow ravenous hunger. Her mind grumbles.
He's going to work her leisurely into oblivion, so unlike how she had driven him into a maddening fervor last week. She reaches up to massage her needy breasts, arching her back and planting her feet more firmly to keep balance. This puts her at a higher angle for his questing mouth and his hands squeeze the cheeks of her ass, a possessive growl rumbling in his throat. It vibrates over her nerve-endings and she calls out, surprised by the intensity of feeling. This most certainly is not fair!
"Please I— God! Can't you just—"
The babble pouring from her cuts short as he takes her sensitive bud between his teeth and bites just enough to make her scream. He shocks her further by plunging two fingers inside, curling and lazily working her cunt until she relinquishes a shuddering sob and her muscles flutter into orgasm. It's slow and drawn out, not the conflagration she seeks, but her back bows nonetheless and her arms fly above her head for purchase, tearing at the duvet as she turns her face and bites into the tender flesh of her bicep. Blood coats her tongue, yet this only seems to heighten the experience and she floats back down a minute later.
The presumptuous wolf between her legs smirks at her, his lips glistening in the bronze lamp light. "You were a good girl. You didn't move. I think I'll give you one more treat for tonight."
Meaning slow again?
And by the look of his expression, she'd say yes .
Her hackles rise. "I don't want to be a good girl."
Kylo leans forward, flicking his tongue playfully at her still pulsing core and her legs jump. "I know, but you've been soobedient for me, Rey." His extolling purr sends a traitorous shiver down her spine and her toes curl.
Then he rises, stepping back and lifting his shirt over his head. She watches enrapt as he rids himself of all unnecessary articles, each one tossed uselessly to the floor until he stands before her like she has always wanted him to, naked, hard and focused solely on her.
Rey's breath quickens at his approach, her stomach doing somersaults as he crawls up the bed, hovering over her on hands and knees. Witnessing him from this angle and looking down to see his cock wet with precum makes her hands move of their own accord, skating up his arms and molding along the planes of his shoulders to his back. She revels in the power of his physique, the beast in her murmuring. Mine, all mine.
And how must she look to him? Legs sprawled lecherously under his gaze and her hair a tangled mess behind her. He wipes a stray tendril from her eyes and she leans into his palm. The kiss he gives her reminds her that tonight will not end quickly, nor will it satisfy the more primal desire in her for something fast and hard and brutal, but she finds that perhaps she can live with that.
Breaking the kiss she looks down to observe him as he reaches between her folds, wetting his fingers with her slick and massaging it along his shaft. As he lowers his hips she angles her own to meet him, feeling the head of his cock brush her entrance. Her heart thunders in her chest and he takes her chin, directing her gaze to his. They breath, once in, once out; and he pushes.
Her eyes widen at once, nails digging into his shoulder blades at the pinching sensation of being stretched, but she paces herself, focusing on relaxing her body. Kylo takes his time, lingering with every inch, watching her intently as he sinks further and further when, at last, he fills her completely.
The two let out a shuddering breath.
Kylo allows a short space to pass before he shifts his legs to a better position and, at once, sensation explodes over Rey's lower half like the spark of an exposed wire on gasoline. She moans luxuriously as he pulls back and eases forward, this time finding her body much more accommodating. A second thrust, a third and before long, he establishes a tantalizingly slow and thoroughly maddening rhythm.
Rey attempts to pick up the pace on occasion, but Kylo immediately pins her to the mattress, holding her down until she settles and he begins again. She emits a petulant grunt at this and he smirks, leaning down to nip at her jaw.
"Not tonight." he says.
Lifting her chin defiantly, she fixes him with spiteful daggers, though this only seems to drive him deeper, harder, slower . Rey drags her nails over his shoulders to his chest and digs them in vengefully. Blood dots his skin. Kylo growls, earthy and low as he tilts his head back and a curtain of his sweat-drenched hair falls over his forehead.
He looks so lovely when he is unkempt like this, the hazy lamp light casting warm hues over his alabaster skin and the dark slants of opaque shadows behind him on the walls. The desire to bite him surfaces in her mind; however, she finds the voice hushed tonight as she stares into the cosmos of black-gold above her, permeating her with the insatiable need to be nearer, so near she could wrap his skin around her own and settle into his chest, maybe make a home there.
His angle changes slightly and her mouth falls slack as the rigid head of his cock taps at the hidden place inside of her that makes her body sing like a choir. Her back arches off the bed in earnest and he cradles her up to him, continuing to build them higher and higher. His pace remains torturous to the point of tears and she moans against his neck, biting hard enough to remind him of her fangs. He chuckles in reply and gives her a sweet kiss.
"Damn you." she curses against his lips.
Kylo's smirk turns to a grin and he snaps forward once, hard enough to make the entire frame of the bed shake. Rey screams out, gripping onto him for dear life as her climax hits like a wave, leisurely and unending. Wave after wave of euphoria blanketing out over her nerve-endings akin to the heat of summer and she releases a sob. Kylo bends down and slants his mouth over hers, drinking in her cries as he finds his own release, his cock pulsing with the heat of his seed. The sensation surprises her by making her climax a second time, this one far longer than the first, and she relinquishes his name, his real name.
He grunts in reply and peppers her with chaste endearments all over her cheeks before pulling out and repositioning them with her back nestled against his chest. She hums contentedly and falls fast asleep to the tender rumblings of his voice.
- o -
o - o - o
- o -
It's raining. And cold. And loud.
Loud like someone left the TV on and the local channels are all not but static loud.
No… it's even louder than that. It reminds her of the train from Hazel street station, only it sounds as if she is standing right in front of it, which is terrifying.
Her eyes snap open to find herself looking out over a half-moon cliff. The sky above roils with chaos and lightning while the scene below her churns like a world-sized drain. Crashing tides and jagged rocks warn her just how close to the edge she actually is and she whirls around, stopping short in her tracks at a new sight.
A peculiar hole in the ground. Lightning forks across the sky, extinguishing the shadows for a fraction of a second and she sees blood, a ring of blood surrounding the hole.
What is that?
"A door."
She jumps at the voice, frantically looking for the owner, but finds no one. Dread takes root in her belly and grows.
"They hid you from me, little one, but I finally found you." The voice sends an unnatural shiver down her spine and she grimaces in disgust.
"Who are you?!"
"Look in the mirror and see for yourself." It laughs maniacally.
"Tell me!"
"When the time comes, I will be whole again. And I will be free ."
Rey wakes from the nightmare with a start, bolting upright in her bed, heart galloping wildly in her chest. It's only when Kylo's solid arms curtain around her that she realizes the dream is gone. She is in Maz's villa with a werewolf whispering in her ear.
"What was it?"
"Just a bad dream. It's nothing." she assures him.
He kisses her temple and draws her back down under the sheets. "I have them, too. They pass away in time." he says.
She wants to find comfort in his words, but the mysterious voice from the dream lingers, along with a growing pain behind her eyes.