Disclaimer: They still aren't mine. I have not worked out a way to make several hundred million dollars in the last week. When I do though....they will be mine, and they will never leave the hot tub.

OMG, guys. Over 100,000 viewings. I love you. Thanks for reviewing, favoriting and alerting. And to celebrate, there is a long chapter. With Pike.

This chapter got long fast. It's my longest update ever. There'll be another chapter up soon, because the only reason this one cuts off where it does is because it got so long so quick. So end of the week or early next, there might be another update. (I hope...you know, if Real Life allows it).

Authors Note: I know nothing about engines or immune systems. If the science is wrong, ....well, frankly, the science is probably wrong (sorry). Ignore it, or send me a long message, explaining how I should change it, and I will. Of you know, you could just deal with it. Whatever makes you happy.

Kirk woke feeling surprisingly better. Something of the exhaustion lingered about the edges of his vision, but he felt better than he had in days. Since before the hearing anyway. God, had that been the last day that life felt normal?

He was allowed back on duty today.

The thought struck him as he was climbing out of Spock's bed, and heading for the shower.

Back on duty. Back on duty. Back on duty. The phrase kind of sing-songed in his head. He was going to be allowed on the bridge today without any guilt trips whatsoever.

Awesome.

Kirk climbed into the shower, and gave himself a good going over. Everything was still a little sore, but nothing much more than a really good workout would do. He luxuriated in the warm water, soaking up the relaxation gifted by the warm spray. God, he loved to shower. It made him wonder how people survived in places that only had sonics. You could get cleaned and disinfected with a sonic shower, yeah, but you couldn't really enjoy the experience. After some time, he reluctantly pulled himself out of the shower and donned a clean uniform. Well, a clean pair of pants and a clean undershirt. He didn't have a pullover yet.

He wasn't sure that was important, anyway. Right now he was more recognizable in just his blacks.

As he stepped out of the bathroom, Kirk looked for Spock, who was nowhere to be seen. Kirk still had about two hours before he had to be on the bridge, but he was used to getting up pretty early. He'd always gone for runs before starting his day back at the Academy. But McCoy would probably kill him if he were to exert himself like that right now.

So a run was probably out.

But he could eat, and then maybe he would wander down to sickbay to see Captain Pike. As he thought of his mentor, Kirk's heart gave a little twinge. He should have been to see the man before now. He liked Pike a lot. The man had seen something in him, and believed in him. He'd seen a gift in Kirk, and he'd seen it even when Kirk hadn't seen it for himself. He'd even taken the role of Kirk's adviser, and Kirk knew for a fact that Pike had taken no other advisees. Kirk had kind of glowed when he'd heard that. He'd walked around with his head in the clouds for weeks. It had meant a lot to him that Pike seemed to think he was special. Not that Pike had seemed thrilled by his appearance on the ship.

But then Pike had made him first officer. So he guessed Pike hadn't been too angry. Kirk hoped not anyway.

And if he went down to sickbay early, there was a chance that Bones might have worked up that miracle cure for whatever was keeping him from healing. He was sick and tired of feeling... sick and tired.

He wandered to the mess, more or less lost in his thoughts. Kirk was very pleased to be back on duty today. He noticed as he walked that every person he passed was snapping to attention as he walked by. It annoyed him. He found it a waste of efficiency. But it was Pike's ship, and Pike was known for running a tight one. The man wasn't exactly a hard-ass, but you followed the rules on his ship.

Well, unless you were Bones. Kirk smirked as he thought about the gravity of Bones' offense. He hoped the other man didn't end up in trouble for smuggling him aboard.

Kirk made it to the mess and through breakfast, remarkably without incident or injury, which hadn't happened before on this mission. So that was a good thing. He did notice that the mess was quieter than it ought to have been, but that was likely a sign of grief, or of the shock they'd all been through. It had been a trying couple of days. He wondered if there was anything he could do about that.

Kirk also noticed as he made his way to sickbay that a great number of the crew were stopping to stare at him. That was a little bit odd. But then, he was a bit of an oddity.

He decided to put it out of his head.

Kirk walked into sickbay with a smile on his face. "Bones," he called.

"Here, Jim." Bones was in the back of the sickbay, bent over a micro-viewer. Spock was with him. "Captain," the Vulcan greeted him, "I trust you are feeling more rested?"

Kirk nodded. "Yeah, Spock, I am. Slept well." He had actually, when he'd gone back to sleep after his nightmare. Whatever Bones had put in that hypo had been good. His brain at least, felt completely rejuvenated. His body, not so much. "You guys figure out what's wrong with me?" His voice cracked on the question and immediately Bones was scanning him with a tricorder.

It was McCoy who answered. "Actually, Jim, we think so." The doctor was looking very relieved. Kirk beamed at them. That was his Bones. Give the man an hour and a challenge, and he'd come through for you. "You eat today, Jimbo?"

Couldn't the man tell that with the tricorder? "Yeah, I did. Eggs and everything. What's wrong with me?" Kirk asked, impatient.

McCoy looked slightly sheepish. "The remaining Hengrauggi venom has bonded with some of the Mulvarean Mud Flea virus, and the two of them are acting as an impediment to your healing. The symbiotic virus is actively preventing your own body from allowing your immune system to aid your healing. You produce lactic acid when your muscles get tired, and your body reabsorbs it once you are sufficiently rested. This virus is preventing you both from reabsorbing the lactic acid, and also slowing your body from making new cells. So to make a long story short, you aren't healing, because the virus is killing your new cells nearly as fast as you can make them, and so even though you rest you don't rejuvenate."

Well damn.

McCoy continued, "This is all made worse because the virus is very similar in structure to the Mud Flea virus that I gave you when we came aboard. Your immune system isn't recognizing it as a new virus, Jim, so it isn't fighting it. And I can't to give you another vaccine because of the way you reacted to the last one."

Oh. That sucked. So he wasn't going to be getting any better anytime soon. Story of his life.

Kirk sucked in a breath. "Ok, Bones. Now what do we do about it?"

McCoy raised his eyebrow at Kirk's easy acceptance of his predicament, but it was Spock, who answered. "We are endeavoring to synthesize a antibody which which will allow your body to recognize and combat this version of the virus."

Kirk nodded. "Okay, that sounds good, Commander. I have faith in the two of you." The two men glanced at each other, and neither looked all together that reassured.

Time to change the subject, then.

Kirk looked at McCoy. "How's Captain Pike, Bones?"

McCoy looked slightly relieved at the change of subject, and his face softened a bit at Kirk's concern. "He's stable, Jim. But not much more than that. I'll have a full report for you at the staff meeting."

Kirk nodded. "So can I see him?"

McCoy thought it over. "He's been in and out of consciousness, but you can go in if you like. If he's sleeping, though, I'd rather you didn't wake him."

Kirk nodded. That made sense. "I won't, Bones. I just want to let him know what's going on with his girl."

Spock raised an eyebrow at that.

What? It wasn't like Pike hadn't called the ship a girl. Careful with the ship, Spock, she's brand new. The words came back to Kirk then, and he felt a fresh surge of guilt for the cracks in her gleaming white hull. They hadn't destroyed her, but they'd been anything but careful.

Kirk could feel the smile slide from his face a little as he turned toward the privacy room, in which Pike was resting. He looked back at McCoy, who was eyeing him thoughtfully. "How much does he know?"

Bones expression went a little gloomy. "Not much, Jim. He hasn't been really been awake for long periods."

"Right," Kirk nodded. "Okay, well, I'm going in. I'll be out before the staff meeting, Spock."

The commander nodded and turned back to his microviewer.

Just as Kirk was about to open Pike's door, he heard Bones growl, "You may not excite him under any circumstances," which made Kirk wonder exactly how much of the story he was going to have to leave out. It was pretty exciting.

"As if I would," Kirk retorted.

Pike was sleeping. Kirk didn't like it. He'd never seen the man sleeping before. He looked so...still. And grey. Pike's hair was grey. Kirk didn't remember it being that color. Or maybe he'd just never noticed. Pike had never exactly given off the impression of being old. The older man had always seemed...mature. Confident. Experienced. Never old. He'd told Kirk before though, that Kirk made him feel old sometimes.

Kirk laughed a little at the memory. Pike had given him a right telling off that time.

He supposed that was half of a cadet's job, though. To make your advisor feel old. Kirk was glad that Pike had taken him as an advisee. It had made him feel special. But that was Pike. He was good at making people feel important, feel wanted. And Pike had certainly made Jim feel wanted. He'd had Kirk to dinner just about every Sunday the man had been on Earth. Pike had started by asking politely and Kirk would always refuse, figuring the Captain was asking him out of pity. Kirk didn't accept pity. Not from anyone. After Kirk's forth refusal, Pike made it an order., saying that all his advisees had to attend and it was mandatory. Kirk had fretted and agonized, but he'd shown up. On time and everything.

He'd been the only person there, aside from Pike. It turned that he was Pike's only advisee. The captain was exempted from taking ordinary advisees because of his schedule and responsibilites. He'd picked Kirk and apparently had had to fight to keep him. This gave Kirk a strange flutter in his stomach that he'd never had before. Dinner had been pretty good and the next week, Kirk had gone without a fuss. Six weeks in, he was showing up early, and Pike was still looking pleased to see him. Kirk couldn't quite figure out why, but it made him happy. Pike would ask him about his classes, his friends, his hobbies. It had been really freaking weird at first. Nobody was ever interested in Jim.

But Kirk loved it. And sometimes it seemed to him, that maybe Pike was lonely, and that it was helpful for both of them. For the first time Kirk guessed he knew what it would have felt like to have had a father.

Pike loved him. Kirk knew that. Even just a few hours ago, on the Narada, Pike had saved his life, shooting that Romulan with Kirk's own phaser.

But this man...on the bed, didn't look like Pike. There were tubes everywhere. There was even a mask over Pike's face to help him breathe. Kirk didn't like it. He didn't like it that Pike looked...fragile. Kirk sat heavily on the chair beside the bed, fighting the impulse to sigh aloud. Damn. This wasn't how he wanted to see the other man. But Kirk sat anyway. And he was going to stay.

Even if Pike didn't wake up the whole time he was here.

It was the least he could do, after all that Pike had done for him.

He found his thoughts drifting, when he heard a soft, familiar voice say, "Kid. What are you doing in here?" And he looked into a pair of familiar hazel eyes.

Kirk straightened self-consciously. "Hey," he said.

"Hey yourself." Pike's voice was strained, as it had been on the Romulan vessel. Kirk wasn't really surprised by that, but he still didn't like it much.

"Ship's status?" Pike asked. Kirk liked that, though. It was the first thing he would have asked had their positions been reversed.

"Normal. Or as close as we can get it." Kirk replied. "How're you feeling, sir?" He asked. Pike was one of the few people of whom Kirk was always respectful. Pike'd earned it.

Pike smiled weakly at him. "Like Hell." Pike's pupils were dilated, and Kirk could guess that McCoy had the captain drugged to the gills. The man was probably high as kite.

Kirk laughed. "I can imagine."

"I'd probably be feeling a lot worse if it weren't for you." Pike's expression was earnest and tender; it caught Kirk completely by surprise.

"Just following orders, Captain, like I told you." Kirk tried, without success, to suppress the blush he could feel spreading on his cheeks.

"Kirk, you don't have to be self deprecating. You took a risk in coming to get me and I appreciate it. You probably saved my life."

Kirk knew the blush was radiating out from his cheeks now. In fact likely his whole face was bright red. Unable to meet Pike's open expression, Kirk looked down and away from the other man. "It was a life worth saving, Sir."

Pike was saved from having to reply by having a mild coughing fit. Kirk was at his side in an instant, one hand behind the other man's back, helping him to sit up.

"Should I get Bones?"

Pike looked confused for an instant, but then he must have remembered Jim's nickname for McCoy because his expression cleared, and he said, "No. That man's a good surgeon, but he's a menace with a hypospray."

Kirk laughed. "I could have told you that."

"I seem to recall that several times over dinner you did tell me that," the captain replied.

"Yeah. Might have." Kirk kept his tone light, but he was still concerned over the captain's condition.

Pike must have noticed his scrutiny, because he snapped, "Oh stop looking at me like that, Kirk. I'm going to be fine. At least that's what your doctor says" at Kirk.

Well, if Bones had told Pike that, then Bones must have believed it, because Bones didn't lie to patients about their conditions.

"Good," Kirk said, and then figuring that maybe they both needed a distraction from this line of conversation, he added, "Wanna hear about your ship, sir?"

Pike's eyes seemed to light up with some inner fire at Kirk's mention of the Enterprise, so Kirk began telling him everything he knew about how the ship was hanging together.

It wasn't until several minutes later that Kirk realized he'd never even told Pike that he was in command.

Oh god, how was he going to explain this?

He settled on the short version. "Uh, Captain Pike, there's something I kind of need to tell you. After Vulcan was destroyed, Spock's mom died when we were trying to get her aboard, and he was emotionally compromised, so...I'm in command." The last three words came out in a rush, running together. He hoped Pike wasn't about to kill him.

Pike just stared.

So Kirk stared back.

Finally, Pike said, "I take it the whole story is much longer."

Kirk looked down again. "Um, yeah."

Pike nodded, "I'll expect a full report when I'm not on the good drugs."

Kirk laughed. "Yessir. You'll get one." He was so going to be telling Pike about the other Spock. That made him wonder if the other universe had a Pike, and if the other Kirk had known him.

Pike sobered, "How's Spock?"

Kirk honestly didn't know. "I don't know, sir. He seems okay, just...quiet. But then I don't really know how he should be acting."

Pike looked hard at Kirk. "The two of you are getting along?" It was phrased more like an order than a question.

"Yeah, we are. We're sharing a bunk. Kind of," Kirk replied.

Pike looked even more surprised than he had when Kirk had told him Spock had been emotionally compromised. "Sharing a bunk?"

Kirk sighed. "It's a long story, sir."

Pike nodded. "Evidently. I'll expect a long report. Later."

Kirk could see that his mentor was tiring. He nodded. "Long report. Later. Check."

Pike nodded again. "Good."

Kirk stood up and looked down at Pike. "I'm glad I got to you in time, Captain."

Pike's expression softened, and he said, "Between you and a crazy torturing Romulan with advanced weapons from the future, Jim, my money was always on you."

Kirk swallowed against a lump in his throat. He hadn't known that Pike had that kind of faith in him. It was like being back in the cave with the older Spock again.

Pike continued. "You don't know how to lose, Jim, and so you don't accept that you can. Starfleet is damn lucky that you don't. That's what saved us all. I'm very proud of you.

Kirk nodded, speechless. Turning from Pike he said, Thank you, sir. I'll...I'll let you rest now." He didn't want Pike to see the tear that slipped down his cheek.

When Spock came to collect him a few minutes later for the staff meeting, Kirk had once again composed himself and was ready to meet his day and his crew.

Please review. I do read them, all, and I try to respond to most of them, and they make me write faster. Really.

He'd seen a gift in Kirk, and he'd seen it even when Kirk hadn't seen it for himself....This isn't quite a quote, but it's a close paraphrase of Remus Lupin's "She had a way of seeing the beauty in others, even, and perhaps most especially, when that person couldn't see it in themselves." From Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, the movie, not the book.