Parley Part One

In which Aiko opens two cans of whoop-ass. Unfortunately, the second one is on herself.

Kakashi pushed the pace, running hard enough that his heartbeat was actually picking up from exertion.

The Mizukage was doubtlessly panicking by now. She'd expected them back the day after she sent them out, two days later at most. He could have ordered the small group to return for reinforcements once it became clear that the Mizukage's paramour had been forcibly taken. But he'd thought they could handle it, and might as well return with something to show for their trip.

'It would have been intelligent of her to share the fact that she was talking about her older jinchuuriki,' he thought darkly. If he'd known that the missing man was the same Utakata that had wandered about as a missing nin for years after the death of the fourth Mizukage, he would have sent for reinforcements. If Pakkun hadn't recognized the old Akatsuki's faint scent, they might have barreled into a confrontation with Akatsuki without warning.

"Just a while longer," he raised his voice in encouragement to the younger members of the team. Even Naruto was panting, despite his inhuman endurance. The Sand shinobi were struggling as well, and had been for the last few hours.

"We'd have caught them, if we didn't have to do the stupid borderchecks," Naruto groused for the tenth time.

He tried not to sigh. 'Naruto, that's not the kind of thing one says in front of foreign officials. We can't have our allies thinking that we don't respect our treaties. It's just not good policy.'

Temari grunted, landing hard and skidding in the sand when she leapt over an abandoned trap from some old altercation. "That only works if you're certain you won't get caught," she reminded. "We would have lost a lot more time if we'd ended up in a pointless fight with your or my border guard."

'How fortunate that Temari is as shameless as Naruto. They'd make a cute…'

He cut himself off before he could make a joke about the two of them as a couple, even in the privacy of his own head. That was just begging fate.

Privately, Kakashi suspected that he and Temari could have stealthily passed both borders without issue if they hadn't been accompanied by the younger two shinobi. Both young men were skilled, of course. But Naruto's strengths did not lie in stealth and Kankuro was a near unknown to him. The risk wasn't worth the potential gained time: However it galled Naruto and Temari, she was correct about the consequences of attempting to illegally pass borders when they were so lucky as to have shinobi from both nations in their party with legal papers.

'I'd feel much better if I had a full team that I knew here. Akatsuki is nothing to mess with. If the Mizukage suspected Akatsuki (and she must have, why else would she have chosen to speak with Naruto and Temari of all the people) then she should have sent more than one team.'

Not that there was anything wrong with the sand siblings, of course, but he worked well with Yamato, and he could trust Karin and Sasuke to watch Naruto's back. Having any two of them instead would have been vastly preferable.

'It shouldn't matter. There's just two Akatsuki, and the one is clearly injured.'

That both was and wasn't reassuring. Judging from the signs, the injured Akatsuki nuke-nin wasn't the one that he was concerned about. That left Kakuzu of Waterfall dangerous and perfectly capable. …No, the odds weren't as good as he'd like. This was still reckless. Kakashi moved from assuming all would go well to hoping that Pakkun hadn't been delayed in reporting. Once he'd realized that their chase was taking them through Fire Country, he'd sent the ninken off to report. Hopefully they had reinforcements coming in hot.

"Where do you think they're going?" Naruto puffed out, frustrated as his sandals skidded on sand dunes- certainly not the environs Konoha equipment was best suited for.

Temari's lips were pressed together into a thin line, and her eyes hard. "Far too close to Suna."

True. "I think they're almost to their destination," Kakashi said instead, because he wasn't going to lie to reassure her about the risks of having S-class criminals so close to her home village. "If anything, they're pressing harder. They're trying to reach something- a hideout, or backup." He grimaced. He should have sent his ninken to Suna instead of Konoha when asking for backup. The response time would be shorter. Hindsight, unfortunately.

If it were any other mission, he would have turned the group north towards Suna and counted that getting backup was worth the possibility of losing the trail. But that delay would mean losing any chance of retrieving the Mizukage's jinchuuriki from Akatsuki. Aside from all the political implications that failure would have, he wasn't willing to let Akatsuki do any more harm than they already had.

Killing intent poisoned the dry air, itching like sand on skin.

"What do you mean you were followed?"

Aiko pressed her fingers against her thighs under her long sleeves, as if that would do something to ward off the chill in Obito's voice. It had to be in her head, but she felt so cold.

That was ridiculous of course, they were in the desert. Even in an underground cavern like this, it was cool at best.

"Isn't that fucking obv- ow!"

Kakuzu cut the skinny Akatsuki off too late.

'I think I made my decision too late.' Aiko tried not to hold her breath, dreading the moment that she knew was approaching. If she'd confronted the fact that she really did not want to aid in another bijuu extraction before Obito had come back, she could have left. Maybe she would have gotten away and been able to figure out what Akatsuki had really wanted her for.

Tap. Tap. Tap.

For a long moment, the only sound was the intentionally audible collision of sandals on stone while Obito stepped towards the entrance that the newest arrivals were still lurking in. She'd been there as long as Obito had, this time, and had watched him summon the monstrous nine-eyed statue, presumably from a museum of modern art. (Or, you know, wherever he'd been keeping it. She hadn't asked).

'And isn't that a creepy mystery? I don't like it. Could it be any more obviously ominous if we had sat down and brainstormed? It looks evil. Like something that we should definitely not be filling with tons of demonic energy.'

Of course no one had asked her opinion on that. After the eyesore had been summoned, they had waited. Zetsu had been next to arrive, which had somehow made waiting slightly less uncomfortable than being alone with Obito. No matter how she'd tried, Aiko hadn't been able to do a good job of pretending that nothing had changed since she'd found out that Obito had fucking lied to her and taken liberties with her body.

'He's got to know that I've been acting off. I'm lucky that he hasn't said anything yet. He will soon.'

She felt trapped and stifled. The cavern was just as bad as the safehouse she'd come straight from via kamui. Her legs practically shook with the need to sprint, to leave her problems as far behind as possible. If she caught a glimpse of the sky, she'd just take off and never stop running.

She didn't want to talk to him about it, didn't really want to have it confirmed and finalized like that. She just wanted to be gone.

But that wasn't an option. Not now, and not while Obito had his eye on her. She was fast on her feet, but he could zip ahead of her if he knew her path. She wouldn't get anywhere while he was around. And lucky her- he hovered when he was worried. He hadn't left her alone in days. She was going to have to convince him that nothing was wrong, somehow, if she wanted him to leave her alone long enough for her to fuck off into the sunset.

'Or I could be honest. Tell him that I know. Maybe he won't hypnotize me into forgetting, despite the fact that we both know he's very skilled in that area and I have no ability. And the fact that he's set a precedent for disregarding my wishes isn't ominous at all. That sounds like it'd play out well. Great idea. Now I just need to figure out where we'll vacation while he ensures that I never have access to information that would let me figure that out again. Maybe Kumo is nice this time of year?'

Yeah, not going to happen. Across the open cavern, the svelte and foul-mouthed young man that had accompanied Kakuzu made the mistake of shifting uncomfortably under Obito's slow show of aggressive movement. Kakuzu was far too steely to show weakness, but he seemed cognizant of the very real possibility that their leader was about to attack them for their startling show of incompetence.

To be fair, they really should have killed off any pursuers long before approaching the area instead of leading enemies there. That didn't make her any less uneasy at the black silence Obito was maintaining.

'How have I not noticed before that he's actually kind of scary? I'll just go on ahead and count the ways that I don't want to be here. My surprisingly scary friend is taking advantage of me, he's about to make me torture some poor chump again, and I have serious doubts about my future with the company because the five-year plan is incoherent and the dental plan is shit. I also have concern about the optical care.'

She licked her lips and dragged herself out of her increasingly hysterical thoughts, grateful for the stupid belled hat that hid her mood. It was also helpful for concealing her grimace at that fucking headache. The light-haired newcomer had no such ability to hide his face— the one Akatsuki she hadn't known had taken off his hat for some reason. Perhaps he'd lost it in a fight with the slim man slumped over his shoulder.

Oddly, she was grateful that those two had been followed, even if that meant she had to fight someone. Any distraction would be good, as long as it put off the inevitable time when she had to help in another slow, drawn-out (unnecessary there's no reason for this Obito's lost it completely) brutal kill of someone who'd already been victimized. Aiko was hardly a bleeding heart, but this was kicking someone who was down for no real reason. That was just not her style.

As if reminded that he was still holding their victi-target, the young Akatsuki let go of the shin in his hand and jerked his shoulder to bump his load to the ground head-first. The jinchuuriki hit the cavern floor with a thud and subsequent clatter of displaced rocks, a pale leg bending at an uncomfortable angle. Apparently he didn't believe in pants, judging by his bare legs. Whatever sandals he'd been wearing were probably in Wave country. Against her will, Aiko glanced at the flash of skin and noted that his loose blue kimono had slipped off his left shoulder, leaving him nearly bare chested. If it weren't for his orange sash, he might have lost his kimono completely from the rough treatment.

Despite his good looks, the visual effect wasn't sensual. She looked away. Disrespecting his body like that was just unnecessary cruelty.

Aiko nearly laughed when she put that rumination in context.

'Ha, no, that's a minor problem at this point. Murdering him is unnecessary. Obito's cracked. His plan makes no sense and we're just going to kill this kid for no reason. Fucking fantastic.'

Lavender-haired boy bared sharp teeth at Obito, despite his poorly hidden discomfort. "We didn't do anything wrong, asshole. Ever think that the problem might have been your shit planning? You were wrong about the Mizukage being unable to send reinforcements, obviously."

He was probably right, but now was obviously not the time to grow a spine. Obito's patience was looking pretty damn short.

If they didn't need that moron, Aiko had no doubt that he would be a bloody smear on the wall right now, judging from Obito's posture. In lieu of that, the best he could do was terrify the brat into compliance. Of course, he didn't intimidate the crude way that other men might have. Whenever Obito used his bulk as intimidation, it seemed to be an accident. Of course, maybe that was just the impression he wanted to give. How would she know the difference?

'I never knew him, did I? The guy I knew wouldn't lie to me about something this big. The guy I thought I knew wouldn't have felt the need to pretend that jinchuuriki aren't people to justify what he wanted. I don't think even Obito knows what's going on in Obito's head.'

Obito took a graceful step in, raising one hand slowly –the pointy-teethed boy tensed, too proud to step away and admit fear- and Obito gently tucked a bit of hair behind the other man's ear and let his arm rest on the shorter man's shoulder, fingers stroking the hair at the back of his neck. His face was so close that the younger Akatsuki had to tilt his jaw straight up to keep eye contact with the dark holes in that ghastly orange mask.

He all but purred, "Who is following you?"

'Aiieeee, why you gotta be so creepy? That's not cool.'

She took a moment to be glad it wasn't her that he was lurking over. She thought she might shrink away from his touch at the moment.

Anyone who was willing to drug her and authorize surgery on her was someone she couldn't trust to have her best interests in mind. And she'd seen how he treated people he didn't need. Aiko swallowed, forcing down the same tingle of unease that had been twisting in her stomach all week.

'I don't want to be near him.'

And fuck, of all the stupid things, she felt guilty for that. She couldn't get her head around Obito being the person who had taken care of her for as long as she remembered and being the person who had tricked and used her. It just didn't make sense. She didn't want to hurt him or confront him (because that would mean dealing with that ugly truth). She just wanted away.

If he'd left her at all alone since she'd realized he was going to make her extract another bijuu, she probably would have tried her luck on the road.

Kakuzu stepped in, apparently bored with watching Obito intimidate his partner. "Konoha, I believe," he rumbled distastefully. She could practically hear his lip curl. "A dog man has followed us since we crossed Fire Country's borders. No one else could have been on our trail so persistently. I have not seen the team in person, however. They have come as close as ten miles to us before we lost them for a time."

Obito growled, roughly whipping his arm back and stalking away. He paced like a trapped tiger, apparently blind to the wide-eyed observation of the other Akatsuki. Even Zetsu leaned away when Obito veered a little too close on his angry circuit.

She sucked her lower lip in and bit at the flesh, not letting her wary attention slip off of her friend and nominal leader. It wasn't the most stable he had ever looked.

Reluctant, he stopped long enough to concede that, "Perhaps this is merely poor luck." Obito exhaled sharply, deciding something. "We'll have to take care of them. Since you two have been spotted" - he leveled what must have been a dirty look at Kakuzu and the new kid—"you will accompany me to deal with your pursuers before we begin the extraction."

'Obito is going to take care of this personally?' Aiko was nearly surprised, until she remembered his vendetta against Konoha. No matter what he said, he was bitter about his old village. Of course he'd take their potential interference as a personal affront. A bitter smile pulled at her lips. 'That almost works in my favor. I'm finally getting some time away from him.'

So close, but yet so far. She wasn't going anywhere with Zetsu hanging around to watch her. Obito might not have said that, but it was clear to her that he was her watcher- it might be intended to provide for her safety, but the supervision would keep her from running.

An indignant yowl split the air and tore her out of her depressed lethargy with a start. The young Akatsuki had leveled a rude finger at Aiko. She managed not to jump, despite suddenly being the center of attention. "Make one of them do something," the teen ordered, tilting his hips. "I don't see why I should do all the work."

The sound of flesh meeting flesh rang out. Aiko blinked- she hadn't even seen Obito move, but the boy was sprawled on his rear and gaping, one hand held to his reddening cheek.

"Don't whine, Suigetsu-chan," Obito chided brightly, kneeling to address the young man on level ground. "She needs her chakra, ne, since she'll be picking up your slack later. Zetsu will stay here as well because he isn't a combat specialist. Any other complaints?"

He kept talking, but Aiko was hung up on that last bit.

'I didn't know that Zetsu wasn't a fighter.' She licked her lips, and determinedly did not look at anyone else and risk giving away her thoughts. 'Come to think of it, I've never seen him fight. He's a spy, isn't he? He uses stealth and poison, I think. That doesn't lend itself to stellar combat skills. Maybe I could take him."

Her heartbeat was picking up speed.

It was a crazy thought. It'd never work unless she got lucky, and when the hell had she ever been lucky? But it still appealed to her.

"If everyone else leaves- if Obito leaves and then I get rid of Zetsu, I could make a run for it. He wouldn't expect it. He thinks I'm an airheaded princess.'

Of course, that would mean her escape would leave a casualty, and she hadn't wanted to be confrontational. …Aiko found that she cared a lot less about that drawback when the casualty was Zetsu.

The idea had a certain sense of symmetry to it. This was where Zetsu had eaten Fuu- and she'd helped kill Fuu, Aiko wouldn't deny that, but what Zetsu had done went beyond the pale. Of course, this Suigetsu brat apparently had about as much respect for their enemies as Zetsu. Had he been the one who laughed last time?

'I hate my coworkers.'

Well, whatever. Suigetsu was probably a douchebag. Kakuzu appeared to be the only half-sane person present, but he didn't make it worth sticking around this madness.

Nothing would. Killing Zetsu would be a little bit of justice for poor Fuu. Sure, she felt guilty for inadvertently benefitting from Fuu's murder by taking it as a warning, but there wasn't much to do about it that would ever erase her part in that. It wasn't like she could bring… Fuu… Back…

'I'm not the sharpest senbon in the armory, am I?'

To be fair, it was very strange and counterintuitive to think of dead people as a potential resource. She could theoretically bring Fuu back. She could try, at least- Aiko owed the girl that. Okay, Obito would not approve, but- but he was going to be gone for at least an hour. Probably more, depending on how long it took to kill whoever was coming. Here's hoping they took a while to die.

'He would be so mad…' Aiko's eyes darted over to Zetsu, whose back was facing her. He was watching the other three men disappear out of sight en route to intercept whatever obnoxious tail Suigetsu and Kakuzu had picked up. 'And he'll probably catch me. But it's a lot easier to ask forgiveness than permission. If I kill Zetsu, I bet there's enough of Fuu left in his creepy leaves for Naraka to rebuild her. I'm lucky that Obito hasn't figured out that I know already. I may as well try…'

And then- well, she still wouldn't have repaid Fuu exactly for the kidnapping bit and probably getting her listed as a missing nin, but she'd feel like less of a monster. She'd do one good deed and then take off into the sunset. Maybe Fuu wouldn't mind being a creepy zombie beast like Aiko. It wasn't all bad. Aiko felt a lot like a person. Probably. (How would she know if she wasn't a person? Maybe she wasn't and that was why she was seriously considering murdering a supposed comrade because he was in her way?)

'I may as well save this jinchuuriki too. No one deserves what Obito wants to do to him.'

Maybe she was just ludicrously theatrical, but she might as well go out with a bang instead of a whimper before Obito genjutsu'd the absolute crap out of her.

'And that would be one way to quit Akatsuki. Forget a letter. This would get my point across. Then I'll make a run for it in the opposite direction that Obito took. I… I may as well take the jinchuuriki with me, or send them in a different way. No point in saving them to get picked right back up like errant kittens.'

They'd probably be safer away from her. If she knew Obito at all, he would come after her first, to figure out what had happened if nothing else. In a sick and severely stunted way, he did seem concerned with her well-being.

Obito had only been gone for a couple of minutes, but he was far enough away that he wouldn't be paying attention to what she was doing. Okay, so she'd never summoned Naraka, but summoning in general seemed to be an instantaneous process. If she hurried, she could be running before he even reached his opponents.

'I think I'll owe Konoha a nice thank you letter after this is over, assuming Obito doesn't hunt me down and drag me back.'

Her heart was pounding against her chest with the force of her rebellious idea. It felt so naughty, but also right. Aiko licked her lips, feeling chakra build and concentrate along her spine. Silently, it slipped out in a long cord, twisting into the air above her head. She breathed in carefully, not allowing her breathing pattern to change and indicate that anything was wrong. Her resolve was finally firm: Zetsu was a creepy jerk and he was the only person standing between her and the open door. That was a pretty potent combination.

A thin shadow flickered on the wall barely in Zetsu's peripheral vision as the chain came down.

Squelch.

"I thought there were only two Akatsuki," Kankuro commented uneasily. Something of wood and metal clattered on his back.

He couldn't be blamed for his trepidation. Two on four was poor enough odds when the two were Akatsuki. Three on four was an engagement that they shouldn't be entering in.

'We don't have a choice. They came to meet us- they want a fight. There's no backing down now.'

Kakashi might have assured the younger shinobi that everything would be well, if it weren't for the fact that he felt frozen stiff with anger. He wasn't seeing red, he was seeing orange. It had been a long time since he'd seen the other man before, and that had been very brief. The Akatsuki member was taller and broader than he remembered. Not quite as physically imposing as Jiraiya-sama, but close to it. "Tobi," he greeted civilly, voice coming out as cool and unconcerned as it ever did despite hatred simmering in his gut at the stalker, kidnapper, and all around monster nuke-nin.

If Gai could see him now, there would be tears of manliness at his 'hip' attitude. It wasn't even intentional. Emoting became much more difficult when his tension went up.

"How kind of you to stop by for a visit." Something about that low voice put his nerves up and disturbed the hair on the back of his neck. It was both chilling and familiar.

But it couldn't be. He hadn't met this man before in his life.

'I wouldn't necessarily know. He wears a mask for a reason. I could have seen him anywhere.'

Alternately, of course, the corpse puppet that Madara was using just reminded him of Uchiha voices in general. Considering that Sasuke and Itachi were the only living Uchiha, it wasn't odd that a voice like that would sound like something from beyond the grave.

For the hundredth time, he told himself that there was no chance that Madara had gotten Obito's body, and ruthlessly suppressed the grief-maddened part of his mind that wanted to claim that his teammate might have grown into a man like that if he'd had a chance (If Kakashi hadn't been as inadequate a teammate as he was a son, teacher, and student).

"Naruto, your ninjutsu will be strong against the boy. Be careful, he can dissolve into water," Kakashi ordered. Temari and Kankuro should be the ones to fight together, standing against Kakuzu. He would have liked for Naruto to have backup, but at least his opponent looked to be in poor shape after a fight with a jinchuuriki and a run across the continent.

'Tobi was uninvolved in that fight. He's completely fresh. He must have been waiting here for the other two.'

And where did the missing jinchuuriki go?

'Utakata-san has been dropped off with Tobi's partner, whoever that is,' Kakashi decided. 'Akatsuki always travel in pairs. That's the only reason I can see for them to abandon that policy.'

"Kakashi-san?" Temari prompted, face hard. "Orders?"

Ah, right. Strategy didn't do any good if it wasn't shared with the underlings.

Kakashi pushed up his headband and blinked open a Sharingan, already spinning with Mangekyou. This was a fight he would have to go all out on. "Tobi is mine," he said simply. "You two take Kakuzu."

"Your confidence is charming, but I am afraid that you cannot be allowed to go any farther." Tobi tilted his head to the side, somehow conveying amusement. "I apologize in advance for killing you, but all mediocre things must come to an end sometime."

Kakashi blinked.

"Well, that was scathing," Temari commented.

"And rather personal." Mildly offended, Kakashi frowned at his opponent. "Have we met?"

Tobi seemed to leer. "I have been picking up your slack. Did you even try to teach poor Aiko how to throw?" He clucked his tongue disapprovingly. "I've been a much better teacher. You wouldn't even recognize her now. She's a sweet girl, isn't she?"

What.

A flicker of demonic chakra fluttered into being. Kakashi didn't have to look to know that Naruto's eyes were red.

"Stay calm," he cautioned, throat tight. "Don't let him get to you."

Of all the regrets that he had, the distribution of weapons skills he had taught Aiko didn't even register. The implication that Tobi had done his best to twist her and remake her in his image, on the other hand, set his gut churning.

"We're going to kick your asses," Naruto informed Tobi, not taking his eyes off his opponent. "And then you'll regret ever coming to Konoha." The fact that they had been following the Akatsuki team for a completely different reason appeared to have been dismissed.

"Why is everyone so worked up over this bitch?" The white-haired mist nukenin shouldered his oversized sword, elbow curled up by his head. He made a face, sticking his tongue out. "We are talking about the short, dumb one, right? The one that Aloe Vera called princess moron?"

'He makes it sound like she's the group punching bag,' Kakashi realized, feeling vaguely ill. Oh, kami. What had being left with monsters like this done to Aiko?

Tobi seemed nearly as offended as Kakashi felt. Perhaps that nickname hadn't been meant to be shared with Tobi.

Naruto bristled, tensing a moment before he leapt, the beginnings of a kage bunshin splintering off into the air helping him weave a Rasengan. "Fuck you, buddy," he spat out, nearly crashing into the nuke nin.

A grim smile of approval pulled at Kakashi's mouth.

'Well, that's one way to start a fight with Naruto.'

The others followed his lead, although Kakazu was the one that leapt to engage Temari.

Kakashi and Tobi stood for a moment in the middle of the conflict, making steady red eye contact.

'I only have to get one good hit in order to break that mask. And then I'll know at least one thing for sure.'

They moved.

'That was easier than I expected.' Aiko stared blankly at the corpse. Tentatively, she came close enough to nudge at it with a foot- it didn't react.

'What did I expect?' She shook her head. 'Of course nothing can survive being cut in half. It just seems like that was too easy. I mean, nothing ever goes that well for me.'

Still. Easy or not, it was creepy. There was little gore. At least she'd been right about his lack of humanity- an animal would be gushing blood. Zetsu's plantlike cells kept everything that hadn't been exactly in the way in place. The splatter of liquid in between the two pieces of the corpse appeared to be vaguely sticky water instead of blood. She didn't realize that she'd neatly split Zetsu in half- the line of his light and dark skin (which was she was surprised to see continued down his body) was preserved perfectly.

'Maybe I really did see him move at the last moment?' But no. If Zetsu had seen the blow coming, he would have avoided it, not made sure it was symmetrical. Aiko shook off the thought, smiling in awe of her daring. Damn. Maybe she really could do this.

She took a moment to glance over her shoulder at the jinchuuriki who was still out cold on floor. Maybe she should untie him before she tried to revive Fuu?

Aiko grimaced. On one hand, she didn't want him to wake up and think she was an enemy. Untying him would be a good hint that she was his tentative ally. On the other hand, he might wake up panicked and attack her while she was distracted with Fuu. Wouldn't that be rich?

"Well, I should get him out of here as soon as possible," she decided. He couldn't be in great shape after being tied up and dragged across three countries- his chances of escape were already low, so he really should get mobile. Aiko wasn't that invested in his survival- her interest was more in thwarting the particularly cruel death that Obito had planned for him because she sort of felt responsible. If he made it back to his village, more power to him- but she wasn't going to hold his hand and like, sing inspirational music to motivate him.

So she knelt, cut through the wire holding his wrists together, and then realized that she had absolutely no knowledge of field medicine or how to determine if he would wake up. All she really knew how to do was hit things.

'Play to my strengths, I guess?'

So she slapped him -pretty hard. Red bloomed on his pale cheek nearly instantly. Aiko held her breath when he stiffened, but he didn't wake up. Dubiously, she tilted her head. "Should I hit him again?"

Yes. Hitting was always the answer. She lifted her hand.

He groaned the second time. Encouraged by the success she'd been having with violence, Aiko wrapped her hands around his shoulders and shook him a little bit.

"Wake up!" she ordered, leaning into his personal space. "This is a shit place to take your nap."

'Ew, he smells like sweaty feet. Suddenly glad I didn't have to stand in an enclosed space with Suigetsu. Does he just have no concept of personal hygiene? Poor Kakuzu.'

One dark eye creaked open with what seemed like monumental effort.

Huh.

'I am the best medical professional, clearly. Just call me nurse.'

Aiko whistled lowly through her teeth, cheerfully pulling him up into a seated position. "I didn't think that would work," she admitted easily, patting the side of his head. "Anyway, do you really want to lie around all day? Go home or something. I've got stuff to do." She rearranged her grip to get his arm around her neck and hefted him up, mildly surprised when he barely assisted her and the bulk of his weight was on her shoulder. She staggered- he was svelte, but she wasn't that physically strong, even for her petite build.

The man's head lolled to the side, the tilted angle putting it nearly on her level in a way that had to be hard on his neck. He glared at her through what looked like a massive headache, eyes not quite tracking her movement. Maybe he wasn't ready to be up yet.

"Wait," he croaked, all but pouting. "You're not Mei-chan at all."

Aiko felt a crease form between her eyebrows. "No," she agreed, "Not even a little."

'He's definitely not ready to be conscious, certainly not ready to be vertical. That's annoying. I don't have all day to spend babysitting him.'

He leaned forward, concentrating on her face. After a long moment, the confusion was replaced with shocked disgust. "You. You again. You haven't changed at all," he accused, gaze drifting, even though his expression remained intense. "Still violent and annoyingly flippant. It does you no credit."

Okay then, crazy. Now he was mistaking her for someone else. Maybe she should have let him think she was Mei-chan. He might have been more cooperative for someone he'd liked.

Aiko rolled her eyes, already so done with this act of benevolence. "You probably haven't gotten any smarter," she sniped, prodding him in the rib with an elbow.

"I shouldn't be surprised that we keep meeting like this," the jinchuuriki ruminated darkly, staring several inches to the left of her face.

'God, he's dramatic. Also, meeting like what? How many times have you been kidnapped by Kakuzu and his junior varsity backup?'

"Oh cheer up," Aiko soothed, giving an impatient glance towards the cave opening that led to freedom. "I never want to see you again either. Actually, I don't know who you are."

There was a shocked silence. Her new friend jerked his supporting arm away from her with effort. Without looking away from what he seemed to think was her face, the poor man straightened the gaping material of his -very nice and rather expensive, she noted- robe. Bizarrely, he didn't pull it shut. So, um. All the chest on display was purposeful, then?

'Oh, he's vain,' she realized. In retrospect that should have been obvious. His clothes were decoration, not armor. She'd probably hurt his feelings.

"My name is Utakata," he said stiffly.

Yepp, definitely a butthurt pretty-boy. Well, whatever. Nuts to him. Maybe she could use this to shock him into waking up properly and complying.

"That's nice. Come on, stand," she ordered, letting go of his shoulder and letting him stand on his own. He wobbled and braced himself with a hand on the rock wall, glaring down at her over a perfectly formed nose. She made a face at his physical weakness. That could be a problem. She wasn't going to help him leave. Her goodwill only went so far.

Well, being mean had been working pretty well so far.

"What, did you break a nail? Come on man, stand up and get out of here. I don't want to have to look at your face." Aiko shoved him gently, trying to rile him up. Adrenaline was going to be his friend here. He'd surely understand why she'd trash-talked him when he was less woozy and out of danger.

He made a small, infuriated sound. Then he teetered to the side and lost his balance, ending up sprawled on his rear and blinking in faint surprise.

'…New plan. Maybe Fuu will be willing to help him out. Actually, maybe sending the two of them off together will increase both of their odds of survival until they get picked up a sand patrol team.'

She gave up on him for now, and shrugged, stepping away back towards Zetsu. "Stay if you want, I suppose. It's not a good idea, but if you really need to take a moment, there is a favor you could do me in exchange for saving your skinny hide."

"Favor?" his voice rose up warily from behind her.

Aiko nodded absently, wrinkling her nose at the slightly acidic smell that Zetsu's remains gave off. Experimentally, she pulled at a leaf above the dark half- it tore easily, like any plant. She didn't see the single finger twitch against the ground, hidden as it was under the scraps of ruined cloak. "Yeah, would you escort a lady friend of mine out of here? I think it's best that you two stay away from me."

Plus she didn't know that Fuu would be particularly happy to see her, on account of the whole 'leading her to her death' thing. Some people were so petty.

'If Obito was right, summoning the god of death requires a considerably larger blood sacrifice than summoning an animal.' Aiko grimaced, glancing down at her scarred thumb. Biting a little bit of flesh off might not do it this time. 'At least I heal quickly. I should be fine,' she assured herself, pulling a kunai off her thigh and dragging it across her left palm. A line of blood bloomed instantly, glossy in the dim light. She squeezed her hand shut, letting the forced muscle contraction speed bleeding until she had a respectable offering pooled on the rocks. Utakata was saying something but she wasn't listening, too busy twisting her hands into a seal.

She tried her best not to think of the liquid seeping through the creases in her fingers where her twisted hands touched, and flicked through a short sequence. Aiko raised the amount of chakra she fed to the technique steadily until it twisted out of her control.

Her first glimpse of the god of death was a massive head clad in tan. It pushed its way up out of the ground without disturbing the earth at all, revealing a black cloth crown and then a red frilled collar-

Ew.

The god of hell was hella ugly, with teeth like pointed tombstones and massive veins on a purpled tongue that stank of graverot- and- and skin the faint blue of an oxygen deprived corpse. Aiko recoiled, even before she registered that the god wasn't going to emerge any further and that the purple flames it was wreathed in weren't hot at all.

'Its mouth is big enough that I could walk right in,' she thought, dazed. Not that she wanted to of course, but it was the sort of thing she couldn't help but notice when the death god's freaking Rinnegan eyes were focused directly on her.

But he didn't speak.

'This is a god. What does that even mean?'

Suddenly wishing that she knew anything about religion at all, Aiko slipped into the deepest bow she could manage, and held it.

Still he didn't speak. Aiko chanced raising up to a 15 degree bow and spoke from that position, wishing she could see to gauge his expression but not daring to be rude enough to look directly. "I don't mean to be demanding or rude, but I wanted to revive the girl known as Fuu. Um, she's from Waterfall."

Graveyard breath washed over her, tugging on her clothes- and it was disconcertingly cool, breath was supposed to be hot but oh of course a dead thing didn't have a warm body-

And Aiko gasped, buckling to her knees with the shock of sudden chakra deprivation. One moment she was sitting pretty, and the next her reserves were scraping the bottom of the barrel. She blinked down at her fingers sprawled across the rocks, sticky with coagulating blood and pale where they were clean.

In her peripheral, Zetsu bubbled, the leaf she'd torn wavering. A rumble originated from the god of hell but he didn't speak, just looked at Zetsu's corpse so she did too as the leaf swelled and gravity compelled it to lay flat instead of drift on its stem. It stretched in length, and began to tear to reveal glistening pink flesh in a pod – like a pea! Stunned, it was all she could do to stare as the raw meat expanded and shaped, losing its blob-like simplicity and developing definition of –were those lungs? Yes, they were definitely lungs but no worry because they were quickly covered by what had to be muscle (and she saw the outline of bone appearing underneath the new muscle just for a moment, before the thing grew skin).

'The miracle of birth,' Aiko thought, and then she giggled faintly. Because that was ridiculous. It was like watching her own birth. This was exactly what had happened to her, wasn't it?

'It was so scary to wake up after that. Naked and sitting in a pool of blood is just not the best impression.'

A lot of those first days had faded in her memory, but that initial terror and confusion was still pretty fresh and impossible to forget.

That thought was actually why she struggled to her knees and used her cleaner hand to work the hidden buttons on her cloak. Fine muscle coordination was difficult, but she managed to get it off and turn the garment inside out so that only red was displayed. Then she waited a few moments. In the time that she had taken her eyes off Fuu, a head and legs had formed. Arms were sprouting- tiny nerves and veins flowing around bones being built from marrow out, and then muscle again and eventually hopelessly perfect, beautiful fingers rested at the end of thin wrists. Admiringly, Aiko stared for just a little too long at the incredible miracle she had witnessed birth itself from a leaf, of all the things.

And then she remembered that she was staring at a naked girl and turned bright pink. Fuu had a nice body, certainly, but staring at her while she was nude and unconscious was just fucking wrong. Aiko hastily draped her cloak over the other girl, still thrilled and fascinated by the faint signs of breathing and the flutter of a pulse.

'I did that,' she realized. 'Well, sort of. Because of me, there's life where there wasn't.'

The ramifications of that were stunning. She couldn't even properly consider them at the moment. It was all just so much larger than she was.

She didn't remember fully standing up, but she was, so it was easy to turn back to the god of hell and give another long bow. "Thank you." Aiko swallowed, humbled by that kind of power. He'd used her chakra to do that, but he'd done the work. That was artistic. "That was amazing."

Just as inscrutable as he'd been the instant she first saw him, the god blinked once, and then sank under the earth.

'My heart is still pounding.' Aiko put a hand to her chest, marveling that the heart she was feeling had been built just like that, out of an idea and someone else's chakra woven into physical form.

"Amazing," she said quietly.

"What was that?" Utakata demanded, sounding just a bit hysterical, as if he had been asking something along those lines for a while. "Uzumaki, what did you do?"

Aiko laughed once out of surprise and a rising sense of euphoria, too high to even remember that she hadn't told him her name. She shook her head, still smiling. "Don't you recognize a god when you see one?" She fell to her knees to check Fuu's pulse. It was going strong.

More importantly, a hand darted out to wrap around her wrist with bruising force, and orange eyes snapped open. Aiko didn't even have time to feel trepidation about her delicate bones being in someone else's grasp before recognition sparked.

"Uzumaki?" Fuu sat up groggily, clutching the cloak to her chest. Her brow creased and she jerked to awareness, surveying the cave. She didn't seem impressed.

Aiko couldn't blame her. Light barely stroked its way inside the hideout Akatsuki had been using to murder jinchuuriki. All that was visible was faint outlines of jagged rocks and hints of scraggly plant matter struggling to survive, and the hints of the hideous statue in the furthest reaches of the cave. And Zetsu's corpse, of course, which Fuu was nearly laying on.

'Oops. I didn't think that bit through.'

Fuu shrieked in surprise and leapt to her feet, distancing herself from the body in a blur of motion.

'Let's not dwell on that.'

"Utakata, this is the lady friend I was talking about," Aiko introduced. The man in question was bright red and turned away, because Fuu hadn't quite figured out that holding the cloak to her chest wasn't covering everything from view. It only took a moment for the girl to realize that and pull on the cloak, holding it shut with her left hand. "Fuu, Utakata will be escorting you away from here. I can't stay with you two." She paused, and then added, "I would suggest going in any direction that doesn't make tactical sense. The Akatsuki you'll be running from is a lot faster than any of us."

Missing the point entirely, both jinchuuriki looked around as if they'd find an opponent in plain sight. "Akatsuki!" Fuu clenched a fist, suddenly afraid. "Why am I here? I was in Taki. Chomei? Chomei?" She turned in circles, as if hoping that she had somehow missed a demon in her initial survey of the area.

It was sort of pathetic, actually. With her little bare feet, Fuu looked like a lost waif.

"Where are you?"

'I'm probably a bad person for being grateful that she doesn't remember my part in this. I suppose she doesn't remember the genjutsu at all.'

Aiko shifted uncomfortably at the increasingly frantic search, digging her toes into her boots. "There?" she offered, nodding her head towards the many-eyed statue.

"We don't have time for this." His words were harsh, but Utakata seemed a bit pitying when he laid a hand on Fuu's shoulder. "I am sorry about your friend. But Bijuu cannot die. He will be reborn after his prison is destroyed, or reemerge elsewhere. You do not have such resilience."

"She," Fuu corrected thickly, rubbing at her face. "Chomei- she's a she."

"Right," Aiko said, dubious about Utakata's comforting claim –dead was dead and short of being extracted again, it was stuck in that statue- but willing to let it go. "She'll be fine, but you should go." She gave a tentative stretch of her hand, making sure she knew exactly how the scabbing would restrict her movement.

'I need to get going too. I'm not going to be able to go as far as I'd like or as fast, if I can't afford to use chakra. Obito said that raising the dead was chakra prohibitive, but I never really thought it'd be like this.'

Stupid, perhaps, but in her defense he'd also said that Nagato had raised hundreds of people at a time. He'd either had hundreds of times more chakra than her or had somehow managed to use less for the job. Aiko didn't have it in her to pull out more than a mid level jutsu or two, and that would probably leave her a useless puddle.

She was still functional, of course. But the chakra that normally augmented her muscles was drained, leaving her feeling heavy- like she was walking through a pool of pudding. There was just more resistance. Was this what it was like to be a civilian, encumbered by the weight of your own flesh? How droll.

"No." Fuu's jaw was set stubbornly. "I can't leave her trapped here. If we destroy the statue, she'll be free."

Oh, for fuck's sake. She was really going on about a demon like that? Besides, that didn't make sense. If a jinchuuriki was killed without extracting their bijuu, the damn thing dissolved. That was the whole reason Akatsuki had expended time and energy to extract the thing instead of just cutting Fuu's throat. Why would the statue be any different?

'This is ridiculous. We're wasting time.'

Aiko rolled her eyes. "And what are you going to do about it?" she demanded, prodding Fuu sharply with a finger. "If I remember right, you're running on empty now, aren't you? What are you going to do, argue with the statue? It's solid rock. That'd take some major concussive force, or a decent ninjutsu."

"I'm not leaving," Fuu repeated stubbornly, stumbling over and placing her hands on the statue as if she could communicate with the demons inside. "I know she's lost to me, but she's my friend."

Aiko stared, aghast at that useless sentimentality. It wasn't a person. It was a demon. Were they even sentient?

'I didn't do all that so she could get herself killed by sticking around here. If it'll make her happy, who cares if we destroy the rock? It's ominous anyway.'

Coming up with the idea was easier than implementing it, considering the collective state of their ragtag group.

"Utakata, you got anything that could work?" Aiko tried, knowing that angle was hopeless but hoping anyway.

He shook his head, not even bothering to follow the women further into the cavern. "In my current state, certainly not. Perhaps if I called on Saikon?"

'He gave his demon a name too?' That was actually a little disturbing. One person being deluded was explainable. Two sounded like there was a legitimate explanation. 'Maybe they are sentient, then? Duly noted. They're not scary stupid things, they're scary smart things.'

All the more reason not to have them around, even if they wouldn't be a fucking beacon to anyone paying attention- namely Obito. "No!" Aiko cut Utakata off, nipping that idea in the bud. "Demonic chakra will bring him running right back. I just… Shit," she cursed unenthusiastically, running a hand over her braid. "Just fucking…" Out of options, she resigned herself to wasting energy on one more useless gesture to make Fuu happy. "I'll figure out how to get rid of it," Aiko promised.

Fuu brightened immediately, blinking childishly oversized eyes. That just wasn't fair, she was too stinking cute.

"But you two have to go now," Aiko stressed. "You understand? I'll do this for you, but I'm risking enough without worrying about you."

Her best option was her chakra chains, as far as she could tell. They took a lot of energy to use, but she got that all back when she reabsorbed it. They were capable of considerable concussive force. Other than that… well, c class earth techniques weren't going to cut it. Water and fire were her stronger elemental suits, but they were completely unsuited for the nature of the task. Her wind element repertoire was downright pathetic due to her lack of interest, which was a shame since the cutting properties would have been helpful.

'I'll give it a real try. If I can't do it, I'll just go. Fuu won't know the difference if I fail, if she's already left.'

Not that she wanted to lie or anything, but this wasn't worth dying for.

"Why do we have to go?" Fuu asked, tilting her head. "Wouldn't it make sense for the three of us to stay together? Strength in numbers and all that?"

Aiko stifled a snort. As if they stood any sort of chance against Obito.

"We are collectively weakened past the point of utilizing that strategy," Utakata noted with just a hint of amusement. "Stealth and haste are better options." And he was looking better, she observed, moving more fluidly than he had been ten minutes ago. Perhaps his bijuu was helping him.

Aiko nodded in agreement, although that hadn't been her primary reasoning. "And he'll be looking for me first," she explained. "Fuu here is probably lowest priority, since she's nothing but a witness at this point."

A disturbed look flew over Fuu's face, as if she'd just realized that her bijuu's absence should have meant she was dead. Aiko was definitely not ready to have that conversation, so she bullied the other two out, physically propelling Fuu with a hand between her shoulder blades.

"But-" the other girl started.

"Remember, you're actually better off not heading straight for anyplace that makes sense," Aiko reminded. "We're currently south of Suna. Don't tell me where you're going, it's better if I don't know. Move fast, he won't be gone long."

"Are you sure you'll get away?" Fuu asked, voice trilling up. Then she slapped her forehead with a palm and rolled her eyes self-depreciatingly. "How could I forget. Of course you'll be fine. You'll just disappear when you're done and reappear somewhere else."

'Is that some kind of joke?'

Aiko felt her face twitch. That girl needed to go get her head looked at, seriously.

Utakata at least had the sense of preservation to firmly take Fuu's arm and keep her moving without apparently caring about whether or not Aiko would survive on her own.

She could appreciate that. Now that he wasn't her responsibility, she didn't care if he pissed or went fishing.

"Good riddance," she mumbled. Jinchuuriki were troublesome. Aiko heaved a sigh and rolled her neck, trying to loosen her muscles. "I'll just… get this over with." She cast a dubious glance at the statue. This was, by any reasonable metric, the least difficult or unreasonable thing she'd set out to do all day.

But looking at it gave her an uneasy tug in her stomach, a lingering trepidation that she couldn't entirely explain away. Like it was something that she shouldn't be tangling with.

"Stupid," she chided, tugging on the end of the braid that laid over her shoulder. "It's a feng shui nightmare, not anything supernaturally powerful."

Just, like, supernaturally offensive to the eyes.

Destroying it was practically a deed for the good of mankind. Aiko kept that thought in mind as she pooled a good half of her remaining chakra along her spine and let it slide into three sets of thick links. She swayed on her feet when the chains erupted out of her skin to coil- triplet serpents twisting up to strike.

The combination of her physical circumstances hit her then. She was weary and worn from days of stress and poor appetite, and her chakra reserves were pitifully depleted. That was probably the only reason that the blood loss for that summoning was bothering her so much- she was already woozy and low on blood sugar.

'I need a nap.'

It was with that less than heroically inspiring thought that she struck at the statue from three angles- directly above the skull and in a pincer from the upper left and upper right- that sent fissures rocketing through the stone. Instantly the cavern stank.

But not of dust. The smell she breathed in was old bones and the acidic tang of poison like vinegar and rotting plant matter.

The top third of the fracturing statue jolted downwards with an eerie scrape.

'I do not want to get trapped under falling rock. Time to go.'

Aiko sucked her chakra chains back in and bolted, common sense knowledge about the general harmlessness of inanimate objects overcome by the startle of fear caused by the combination of noise, stink, and sudden movement. The scrape gave way to dozens of cracks and concussive sound from stone hitting other stone.

"Shit!" Aiko yelped, voice hitting a pitch normally only managed by small children. She leapt over the rocks towards the entrance without checking to see what exactly was making the unearthly racket behind her.

She broke out into the sunlight, dry heat slapping her skin. As soon as she'd cleared the shadows Aiko wheeled around to see- though she kept moving, walking backward jerkily.

"Thank god I'm a coward," she breathed. Foul-smelling smoke was drifting out of the cave, completely erasing the inside from view. It didn't seem like something to breathe in. She waved a hand at it, trying to push away the billows that prickled at her flesh and stung in her nose.

At least it was over. Alright, now she needed to get moving. Utakata had seemed to set a course west, so maybe she would go northwest. That wouldn't put her near anywhere useful or allies, but she was better off laying low for a little bit and letting Obito think she'd slipped past him en route to Suna or something.

Her heart dropped to her gut before she knew what was wrong, a full second before an overpowering wave of boiling chakra hit her and actually knocked her over. Aiko screamed in shocked pain, scrabbling away before she even saw that her skin was peeling and bubbling, before she knew that ugly red droplets were working their way out of her skin.

Inanely, she remembered Obito mentioning the dangerous properties of demonic chakra. He didn't fucking joke around, did he?

'This is a stupid way to die.'

She choked back a sob, lungs burning as if they were full of smoke but it was just poisonous chakra that she was breathing in. Tears covered her vision and made fleeing harder.

Nothing, nothing could distract her from the overwhelming noise of three different throats roaring and the tumultuous clatter of an enormous amount of rapidly expanding matter pulling apart the cave like it'd been made of lint from the dryer.

Some very small part of her was screaming, but the rest of her was frozen in shock.