TO THE PEOPLE WHO ARE UNHAPPY I HAVEN'T ADDED ANY ROMANCE YET/STILL:

I strive for realistic, not idealistic. If you want romance, just wait! If you're looking for smut, however, you'll have to look somewhere else. I do not, will not, and cannot write detailed smut.

Onwards!

.

.

.

.

THIRD PERSON POV

.

Eddward was not accustomed to needing people.

He had never thought it wise to put your faith in another person, when it was so possible for them to let you down. No, it didn't make logical sense to need someone, to rely on any one for...well, anything. He loved his friends, and he trusted them, but he never needed them. It sounded rather cruel, almost. But it wasn't- not really. Eddward treasured his friends above all else. Everyone knew it. He was as kind as he was smart. His friends were his number one confidants, his entertainment, his listeners, his accomplices...

But they weren't his other half. He didn't fall apart when they left- he wouldn't allow it. Why would he?

He didn't need them.

So it was with a lot of chagrin that he admitted to himself that he, Eddward Marion, needed help. And badly, at that. Help from a tall, goofy football player named Kevin Barr. Oh, it pained Dee to think that he was stooping to such lows. It killed him to think he was in so much need from someone he had barely learned to trust.

He didn't even mean to- but as Kevin walked him to his house after their eventful day, Eddward paused. What had happened had actually scared him. Not the panic attack itself (those always scared him), but the fact that he could not trust the school authority to react to them properly. If he acted out, he was sure to get himself or others in trouble.

But they knew Kevin could help.

If someone were to find him in a state of hysterics, and they went to the principal, it would make sense, then, that the principal would go to the jock for help. Eddward himself had told them that the Barr boy was the only one who knew how to help him. It was true, of course, but he wished he hadn't said so.

As they approached his house Eddward turned to the ginger awkwardly, wanting to talk about it but having no idea how to start.

"You okay?" Kevin asked, stopping. His companion nodded, not looking at him.

"I was just thinking back on what happened earlier. I didn't think people would react so...angrily."

"They were being douches, yeah."

"Well, they didn't know how to react, I'm sure. Not many people do. That's what worries me."

"You think they'll freak out again?"

The beanie clad teenager looked up, shrugging helplessly. "That's the problem. I don't know. And I cannot- really, I can't- help. I can barely contain myself, so I have no hope for correcting the situation while- while- you know," he admitted, closing his eyes and slumping his shoulders.

"So just text me right before it happens," Kevin suggested casually. "I know you don't want help or whatever- but like, I kind of know how to help."

The nerd fidgeted. Was he really going to do this? Tie down one of the most successful students in the school to babysit him? Was that even fair for him to accept? What repercussions would this bring on?

Kevin cut in through his thoughts, his voice a mix of affectionate and exasperated.

"Dee, there's only so much ya can do. And you're right, if people saw you freakin' out, they're not gonna know what to do. If you don't want to make em worried, or get attention or whatever, you're gonna need my help, okay? Fuck...like, man I'm sorry, but you kinda can't do this on your own."

"You really think so?" the boy asked in response, halfheartedly.

"Yeah, I do."

Eddward took a step back, looking humiliated but determined. He stuck out a hand, forcing himself to maintain eye contact.

"Alright."

The ginger smirked and shook his hand, lingering there a moment before the other boy pulled back.

"Thank you, Kevin."

"You're welcome."

.

Throughout the next few weeks, both boys took time to adjust to their new arrangement. They had come up with a few code words to use to make it easier on them both.

"Do you remember the homework?" = I need to get a hold of you (on text) or follow me (in person).

"Are you ready for the weekend?" = Are you having a problem?

"I have plans, actually" = I think I'm having a problem.

"I'm gonna be busy!" = I know I'm having a problem.

"I'm free" = there was no problem.

"Remind me to show you something later" = meet me in the nearest quiet place in two minutes, if not earlier.

They used these codes to keep everything a secret. Dee did not want people to know he was struggling and Kevin didn't want people to think he was the kid's bodyguard or something. They did spend quite a bit of time together now- they had yet to find a pattern for how often the attacks were and did not want to take any chances.

In the meantime, they had become quite the pair. People thought it very strange that they inseparable- they hadn't been close before. But now they were stuck at the hip. The only time they weren't together was during lunch, when Dee would help the librarian and Kevin would sit with his friends. However, if time permitted it, Kevin would slip into the quiet room for a few minutes if he could. Some thought Kevin was trying to help the boy find friends- others thought Dee was tutoring his ginger haired friend. Both were true, sort of. Kevin did try to help Dee be more social- if only to keep the thin boy from losing his mind, and Dee did help Kevin with homework if he was struggling- if only to keep the muscular boy from losing his grades.

They had also become closer emotionally. Kevin was growing a bit protective of his companion, and he couldn't help it. It had become his duty to keep Dee from having issues. He became keenly aware of the boy's body language, always on the look for trouble. In which time he'd become quite fond of the boy- in ways he didn't think were normal. He noticed the way the boy spoke, the way he held himself, and how he changed with his moods.

For instance, he always found it funny when Dee would become arrogant. The thin boy didn't even know he was doing it. If someone mispronounced something, or made an assumption that didn't make sense, the nerd would stand a bit straighter, narrow his eyes slightly and crinkle his nose as if he smelled something gross. It was subtle, but it was hilarious.

But the athlete wasn't the only one noticing things. Dee had a quick mind, but he was slow to understand others on a deeper level. He didn't often see the point. With Kevin, however, he was eager to get to the bottom of why he was being so helpful. Was it good intentions, or did he have other motives? In his search, he realized a few things:

1) Kevin was not as cocky as he looked. (This was rather shocking)

2) Kevin was a Momma's boy without a doubt.

3) Kevin loved country and rap music, especially when they were mixed together.

4) Kevin was either happy, or angry. There was almost no in-between.

Dee liked Kevin best when they walked home together. If Kevin invited him over, it was always a joy to the brainiac to watch the other boy interact with his mother. Mrs. Barr was as loving as she was tough, much like her son. Dee could tell they were very close, but they had strange and endearing ways of showing it. Very rarely did they show physical affection, but they showed their emotions through their eyes.

Mrs. Renae Barr had a cool, powerful gaze that was often laced with amusement. Kevin was very similar, though he seemed to laugh more. Every time they walked in the door she would come around the corner, often wielding office or kitchen supplies. Her favorite weapon of choice seemed to be a spatula, one fist on her hip as the other clutched the utensil carefully.

She never greeted them with a hello. She always had something to say, however.

"You forgot to take out the trash this morning."

"Dinner is almost ready."

"I hope you've done your homework."

"I've made something for you."

"Your father called."

She was a business woman through and through. Kevin almost always replied with a groan, though Dee could tell he didn't truly mean it. He would then reply snarkily, kicking his shoes off and stomping up the stairs, leaving Dee to follow timidly. Kevin always closed the door behind him, though Dee assumed it was more for the quiet than to keep his mother out. If she needed them, she was always welcome in.

They would spend the afternoons doing homework, talking, playing cards, playing video games (or rather, Kevin playing while Dee watched) or Kevin doing something silently after Dee accidentally fell asleep.

They were as close as any two people were.

.

(A week later)

.

It was a warm, quiet sort of night (3 AM, to be exact) that Dee found himself sitting in his favorite chair, a book of theological theories in his hands, the only other sound besides his breathing being the turning pages and his thumbs being rubbed against the paper as he read. He tried to concentrate on the words but his fingertips still felt funny and his nerves were still off. His last attack had been overwhelming- to the point that he smacked his head against a wall in an attempt to feel something besides the handicapping fear, but had only injured himself in the process. He hadn't bled, but he would have one doosy of a bruise underneath his ebony locks.

He tried not to think about it, instead trying to make sense of the black squiggles in front of him, to no avail. He blinked, closing the book slowly and peering down at the boy currently asleep on his lap.

Kevin had come over after Dee had called him, knowing he was about to fall into his anxiety. The red head had helped him sit down, and had held him after Dee hit his head- partially to check the severity of the injury and partially to keep his friend from doing it again.

After Dee had gained back control of his mind Kevin stayed, insisting that he would not feel satisfied until Dee had completely recovered from his attack. So he sat, his arm and head resting lazily on his friends legs, staring off into space until the lateness of the night overtook him and pulled him to unconsciousness.

Of course, the smaller of the two had not minded this intrusion, finding comfort in the other's caring nature and intimacy. While he still felt a little off and he certainly wasn't fit to do much, he knew that by having someone there he would be alright.

Kevin (or Kev, as Dee had started calling him) had become the young boy's anchor in the upside down world he found himself in. No matter the time or the place, Kev was sure to have his back should any...unfortunate events occur. Dee found himself becoming more and more attached to the strange football player, to the point where he almost dreaded parting ways.

His feelings for another person had never seemed so personal before, and he was beginning to question the nature of his affections.

He felt at peace in the other boy's presence, but he also felt...jittery? No, that wasn't quite the feeling. Excited? Elated? Ecstatic?

Like there were butterflies in his stomach.

It was such feelings that confused him. He knew that experiencing such notions usually meant that one, er, liked someone. In a more-than-platonic sort of way. A crush sort of way.

Dee didn't have a crush on Kev, did he?

That was, of course, quite a statement to make. They had barely become friends, and here he was, twitter-patted! Unless, of course, he wasn't. It could just be a side effect of his attacks. In fact, that made more logical sense. It would make perfect sense that his anxieties had manifested themselves in strange ways. He knew that his mental health was strange and often unpredictable. This could very well be a part of it!

Just as these rationalizations seemed to fit into place in his mind, Dee's attention was turned towards the no-longer-sleeping-form of the boy on his lap. The football player blinked confusedly, lifting his head a bit and looking around, his arm twisting slightly and his hand gripping Dee's mid-thigh to help steady him as he slowly sat up. As he turned to the dark haired boy, Dee noticed there was a line that ran from the boy's mouth to his forehead, looking suspiciously like a wrinkle in the genius's pants.

"Wha-?" the boy mumbled, his groggy voice an octave deeper than normal.

It was at that precise moment that Dee understood that his feelings were no result of his panic attacks.

He had it bad for the other boy.

"W-well good morning, my friend," Dee said softly, smiling bashfully. "I hope I didn't wake you."

"Shit, did I really fall asleep?"

"You did. I feel bad for having woken you. I'm the reason you are not in bed anyway, and I-"

Kevin groaned, crossing his arms over Dee's legs and resting his forehead atop his forearms. He took a deep breath, sighing, and Dee could feel the heat of his breath on his knees.

"No, 'skay. I shouldn't have fallen asleep on ya. You didn't wake me up- your bony legs did. They're not that comfortable, I gotta say."

The ebony haired boy scoffed, laughing. "I do apologize for that. Had you asked for a pillow or-heaven forbid- a proper place to rest, I would have happily accommodated you."

Kevin huffed, his voice muffled and quiet. "It's not that bad."

Dee took that as a compliment.

They sat together a few minutes more before Kevin sat up and pulled away, rubbing at his eyes. He looked his friend up and down carefully, silently looking for any signs of a lingering attack. The boy's hands rested peacefully on his closed book, not shaking. The boy's eyes were clear and focused, and his hair had been put back where it belonged, his bangs tucked behind his ear and his small ponytail visible where a hat usually stood. Dee felt comfortable enough to let Kevin see his hair on occasion, especially if it fell off during an attack.

"You doin okay, then?"

The thin boy tugged at his large shirt collar, covering his shoulder more properly. "Oh yes, I am feeling much better now, thank you."

"An' your head?"

Dee visibly winced, reaching back to feel the decent sized bump on the back of his skull. "Sore, but fine. Nothing time cannot fix."

Kevin smirked, though there was concern laced his features. "Put a little ice on it. Should help with the swellin'. And take it easy for a couple days, yknow?" The football player then stood, wordlessly hinting that he should go. Dee stood as well, showing him to the door. He put a hand on the doorknob but paused, turning back to the gigner.

"Thank you for coming over-especially, uhm, in the middle of the night. I, well, it means a lot."

Now Kevin's smile was genuine. He shoved his hands in his basketball short pockets, trying to look nonchalant.

"Yeah, no problem. Anytime, yknow. Really." He put a hand on Dee's shoulder and squeezed it lightly, dipping his head to be Dee's height. "I got your back, okay?"

Dee placed his hand on top of Kevin's, feeling his face go a bit red.

"Yes, alright."