Breathe

Xxxxxx

Kritters03 – I'm so happy you look forward to my updates. I can't believe how loyal and lovely everyone is in the 'ship. Thank you for reviewing and, as always, I hope you like this chapter!

Patpat – Omg, I did not expect such distain for Natasha! I have a total soft spot for Loki and her as characters but they will never get on in my mind so her reaction felt really normal to me. Thank you for your compliment, I'm so glad you like my writing! I hope you enjoy reading this chapter and your opinion of Natasha gets better as I really didn't mean people to hate her :-(

Angel Bells – Darcy is being selfish. Hopefully you'll like her a bit more by the end of this chapter. *fingers crossed* Thanks for your review, I love seeing your reaction to each chapter!

Cybernetic Mango – First off, I love your username. Second, badass Darcy is awesome, I will definetly be writing more of that! Thanks for your review and comments, I really hope you like this next chapter! Thanks again.

Booklover9477 – Have I told you how awesome you are lately? I don't think I have so I'll say it now. YOU ARE AWESOME! I hope you like this new chapter and I loved reading your thoughts/opinions (some of which are totally true). Thank you again! P.s. You are awesome.

Guest No 1. – I enjoy Loki and Darcy too. They are so much fun together, I got into Darcy/Loki fics first so they will always have a special place in my heart, which reflects in my story. I wish I could write them as a 'ship, but for some reason I can't. Anyway, I'm glad you liked the last chapter and hope this one lives up to your expectations! Thank you for reviewing.

Lenetra – Hello. I knew there would be a little hate for Darcy and how she reacted, but I honestly couldn't write her character instantly being okay and going to him. It just felt too perfect and she's young and flawed and not able to handle this much so quickly, so I'm so happy you felt that as well! Fury is a sneaky bastard, that is all I'm going to say on that! Thanks again for another amazing and lovely review, I love reading you thoughts, they never fail to make me smile and am so glad you're still liking my story!

Belanna – Thank you! I'm glad you liked that chapter, I was so worried because of Darcy's reaction that people wouldn't like it. I hope you like this new chapter and thanks for reviewing the last.

Katie-Kakes97 – Thank you, you certainly know how to flatter someone *blushes*. I hope you like this new chapter and where I'm heading with this and as always, thanks for your wonderfully lovely review, I cannot tell you how much they mean to me!

Rammy2010 – Well, don't say I never give you anything! I hope you like this chapter ;-) Fury is a sneaky bastard, that is all I'm willing to say about that... Thanks for your review! I love reading them and hope you like this new chapter!

LilMissM – I'm sooo glad you got Darcy's reaction, I was so worried everyone would be angry at how I wrote it, but although it's disappointing, she's very young and confused, this is an extreme she never thought she'd have to deal with so of course she'd 'freak out' as she is so inclined to do. I'm sorry for the long wait for the new chapter but thanks for sticking with me!

Alexceasar – Thank you! I'm glad you're liking my fic and where it's going. I hope you still like it after this chapter! Thanks for another review, I really cannot tell you how much I love reading what you think.

Muchroomking98 – I like arguments as well, and angst... I'm a complete sucker for self-deprecation... if you hadn't noticed by now lol. Sorry for the long update but I hope you like reading it! Thanks for another fantastic review, I cannot thank you enough for your constant love and comments :-)

Jamie – Thank you for reviewing, I'm so happy you like my story! *blushes at compliment*

Guest No 2. – Thanks for reviewing but you'll have to wait and see! (Although you won't have to wait very long). I hope you like the next chapter!

Troubleswithtribbles – First off, I totally love your username. Second, I know what you mean! I love reading your reactions so thank you for reviewing, I hope you like what I've done with the next chapter!

KennaWynters – Omg, I totally understand, I write and think 'is anyone actually going to understand what I'm doing?' I'd love to read your stuff, you should totally post it, especially if it involves Clint Barton as I'm completely addicted to Jeremy Renner as well! If this community has taught me anything, then it's everyone is really supportive and friendly. Thank you for your amazing comments, I hope you enjoy reading this chapter as much as i enjoyed writing it!

Risalyn – Thank you for your lovely review, you are so amazing I can't tell you how much I appreciate what you said. That was the shortest chapter I posted since like chapter 5 and I was really worried about what people would think, so to hear that you loved the emotion of it all made my day! Thank you so much and I can't wait to hear what you make of this one! Enjoy!

CoffeeJunkie33 – Sorry for the long wait but I hope this chapter is worth it! There's lots of Clint POV coming up so I can't wait to hear what you make of his thoughts on the whole situation. Also, you are very wise and perceptive but you will get some answers in this chapter. Thank you for another lovely review and I really hope you like this update!

Mylove24 – It's sad, I love angst but writing some of this stuff made me wish I could have made it easy for them, but alas, I couldn't. I hope you like this new chapter, although the angst is still there... sorry! Thanks for the review, I certainly feel like i have your love 24/7, (Sorry again, i couldn't resist).

Phoenixgrl15 – I can't believe how many people thought Natasha was being harsh on Darcy. I thought she was very true to character and maybe this whole thing will help Natasha and Darcy grown closer... or Natasha will just murder Darcy in her sleep for breaking Clint's heart... who knows! I'm glad you still like the story even with all this angst, and I hope you like this new chapter too. Thank for taking a moment and giving me another lovely review.

Dhauren – I like the weird coping mechanisms, they are most certainly the best :-) I'm sorry to let you down with Darcy's freaking out, but I felt like it was a very natural reaction for her and honestly couldn't write her any other way (I did try!). Darcy knows she's dealt with this the wrong way and will certainly try and make things better, weather she does it the best way or not is still to be questioned... Thank you for reviewing again, I love reading your thoughts on my story, it's a honour that you read my fic when I spend evenings re-reading yours! You are the reason behind my dysfunctional relationship between Darcy and Loki in this story btw (I also want to take a moment and beg you to write more of Will You Go Out, I know you only posted a new chapter last week but Bruce and Darcy are my new obsession!). Fan girling over. I hope you like my update!

Thanks to my wonderful Beta, Sandra. I could never have imagined this story being as rewarding as it is without you.

Xxxxxx

Chapter 14

Clint felt foggy. There was no other way to place the feeling that he awoke to except foggy. His legs felt heavy and his mind felt drained. His chest... He couldn't feel his chest, an odd sensation, considering he could feel his weighty limbs. It was like they weren't attached to his body anymore, because he couldn't sense the core they were all connected to. Emotionally, he was desperate; he had done a stupid thing. He couldn't remember what exactly, but he knew he'd done something wrong. So he needed to make sure Darcy would forgive him. She had to…

A soft moan managed to escape his lips. He closed his mouth and tried to wet his lips, but he was met with an equally parched tongue.

"Darcy?" He was able to call out, his voice so croaky it was barely above a whisper. He needed to make sure she'd forgive him, he kept thinking. That's all he needed… and maybe some water.

His eyes slowly opened, a little at first, trying to adjust to the light. He blinked and opened them wide with the second attempt, they watered as an automatic reaction, and he let the cool liquid build in the corner of his eyes, he didn't have the energy to wipe them away

The fog lifted as he saw the familiar ceiling of the medical bay. The harsh lighting and the itchy sheets began to irritate him on the realization he must be badly injured. Of course he was, Clint gasped as he remembered what happened and tried to look down at his stomach, expecting the worst, but his head didn't want to work with his mind and lay flat against the uncomfortable pillow. Fuck, he was so tired, his eyes wanted to drift shut, but he forced them to stay open.

"Darce?" He asked again, where was she?

He took a couple deep breaths in and out, trying to calm himself at Darcy's lack of presence, but the panic only increased when he couldn't feel the air filling or escaping his lungs. It was strange, like the feeling you get from a foot from staying crouched in one position for far too long, numb, only this was worse. They must have him on some pretty strong pain killers, he mused giving into the haziness.

He waited. He listened to the beeps of various machines and the scuffling of people outside the room, unable to look up and around at his surrounds which was enough to drive him insane, but he just waited; he'd waited longer than this before, he was trained to be patient after all. He began to busy his mind, so he didn't fall asleep; he wanted to be conscious when Darcy came in. He tried to replay the last events he could remember, picking through the details as he began to debrief himself.

The fight. That one Chitauri that lead him astray. The two that pulled him back. Those cuffs on his wrists and ankles. He remembered the sound of Thor's hammer by his head, trying to break them, a truly terrifying prospect. Clint couldn't help the wince that overpowered his face as he remembered the feeling of the scepter enter his side all over again. Clint wasn't the kind of guy who said 'if only', it wasn't in his nature, and he knew it never did any good; so instead, he began to think of each mistake they had all made, which led to this current outcome, and how they could improve upon it the next time. Clint groaned, he really hoped there wasn't a next time.

He heard the door open at the end of the room and managed to lift his head this time, his strength slowing coming back to him.

"Darcy?" He spoke hopefully before he could stop himself. It wasn't her, he thought, dropping his head back on the pillow. Where was she?

Natasha gave him a weak smile and shut the door carefully behind her, being as quiet as always.

"It's just me." Clint gave a bitter laugh at her.

Clint clenched his teeth; there was the beginning of what is now a shooting pain that ran up his right side. It was worse when he breathed in. The fogginess that was lifting must have been masking it all.

"Where's Darcy? Is she okay?" Why wasn't she here? He asked himself. Was someone stopping her from coming? Had anyone even told her he was- He forced himself to stop thinking like that as he tried to keep his voice as level as possible. He couldn't see Natasha, but she slowly walked to the side of his bed, the left side, he noted, obviously not wanting to be near the damage she caused, he mused.

"You should be worrying about yourself."

Deflection. She was avoiding answering him; he was forced to let it slide as the truth hit him. Darcy was fine, Natasha would have been straight with him if something was wrong. Her avoidance meant one thing and one thing only. Darcy knew he was hurt, but didn't care enough to visit him. She didn't care. He bit back the harsh laugh that threatened to escape his cracked lips. "She's not coming, is she?" It was a self-deprecating thing to ask. He wasn't going to like the answer either way. She wasn't here now and that's what hurt the most.

The ache in his chest was not caused by the wound. This cut much deeper. She'd taken his heart, and she didn't even want it. It was a bitter moment of realization, now he knew that she was just using him and didn't feel the same way. She didn't even care enough to check that her fuckbuddy wasn't damaged too badly. The words were angry and spiteful in his head, and he squeezed his eyes shut, trying to block out the betrayal of his heart. How did he let her in so easily when she didn't open up at all? How did he miss the signs that she wasn't in love with him? Because there were none, he told himself, she had the perfect poker face, and she didn't even know it. She said the right things at the right moments, her long, intense looks during and after sex made him believe in a lie. She couldn't love him, but he just didn't see it until now.

"How could I be so stupid?" He asked, mostly to himself.

"Give her time." Natasha smoothed out a stand of his hair that was sticking up randomly. After, he moved his head to the side and watched her pouring a glass of water into a cup on the nightstand. This was becoming a familiar occurrence for them now. Only this felt much worse.

"How much more can I give her?" The Russian spy placed a soft thin plastic straw to his lips, and he took a small sip, using the moisture to replenish his mouth before taking another draw and swallowing the soothing liquid, taking it as a small comfort. "I guess love really is for children." He coughed, his throat not quite used to drinking just yet.

"And fools." Natasha added to his words, an upgrade to her usual saying. Clint felt his eyebrows rise at her comment. Something had certainly happened to change her strong opinion on love. He remembered watching as Bruce was thrown across the old abandoned room underground, smashing hard against that wall. It was a bad hit, Clint hoped he was okay.

"How long was I out?" He asked, trying to build a mental timeline of events.

"It's been 14 hours. They patched you up good and quick, but you were pretty bad." She put the cup and straw back to his mouth, he grasped the straw with his lips, feeling like a child. So it was Tuesday now, around 8 in the morning if his math was correct.

"How's the rest of the team?" Looking up to study her green eyes, it was a loaded question, and she could take it however she wanted, but he wanted to read her feelings on the way she answered.

"Tony, Steve and Thor are fine. Tony's suit is a little banged up, but it's nothing he can't fix." Natasha's eyes darted to the jug containing the water and looked back to Clint, a relatively normal thing to do, but not for Natasha. She was always so focused, her eyes penetrating anyone she wanted even when telling the worst news imaginable. Now, she looked like a lost child, not knowing her place in the world. Her opinion of love invaded his brain again. "Bruce is fine. He's awake. A few broken ribs, but The Other Guy is helping speed up then healing."

"Guess that's a point in his favor." Clint mused earning a glare from her. "Look at us. A couple of fools in love." He knew it was over the line, but she wouldn't physically hurt him when he was already wounded. Lying in that bed was practically a free pass to do or say as he liked, and he wasn't going to miss the opportunity.

"It's not love." Black Widow snapped at him. Her eyebrows knitted together and her mouth set shut. He knew that expression. Doubt. She doubted her own words.

"Whatever it is, he needs you more than I do." Clint started to pull away from her. He wanted to mope for a while, lick his own wounds over Darcy and her absence, and Natasha would make that more difficult.

"Clint-" She started when the door opened and Coulson walked in.

"Agent Romanoff." He greeted with a curt nod. "Agent Barton, how are you feeling?" He asked in that low, oddly soothing voice.

"It's just a scratch, sir." Clint managed a smirk at the older man. "We'll nearly have matching scars." He added with fake enthusiasm and a wink.

"Almost." Phil dragged a chair over front the corner and placed it by his injured side, taking a seat and crossing his legs, he was very relaxed in this moment, a little too relaxed. Clint narrowed his eyes at him.

"What is it?" He asked, sighing. This wasn't going to be good.

"Nothing. Just an order from Fury."

"Can't it wait?" Natasha practically spat. "He's a little indisposed at the moment." Clint didn't have to look at her to see the anger on her face.

"Hang on." Clint warned her. "What is it?" He could tell by the glint in Coulson's eye that this wasn't bad news.

"Agent Saint Anna will be arriving in the next hour." Coulson looked very happy at this fact, his usual stern face bright with a smile.

Clint rolled his eyes, one of the few things he could move. "I'm fine, she'll get pissed if we keeping dragging her back here for every paper cut one of us gets!"

"She offered." Phil said simply, holding his hands up at his sides as if he was completely innocent.

"She only offered, because you probably called her." Natasha accused. Natasha really didn't like Saint Anna. She was an overly emotional person with an annoying way of making people love her because of all the good things she did. Natasha knew they sounded like really petty reasons to dislike someone, but she always had a problem with flawless people and what they were trying to hide under all those so-called selfless good deeds. Not to mention the way she always fawned over Clint whenever he was nearby. For Christ's sake, Saint Anna might as well be a fangirl wearing a t-shirt with Hawkeye's face on it; it was pathetic and unprofessional to crush like a school girl on a work colleague.

"It was our monthly debrief. She did ask how you were doing, yes." Phil explained slowly looking directly at the man in the bed, manipulating his words the same way he manipulated Saint Anna and her crush on Clint to their advantage. "She er… also asked how I was coping after she healed me. All I did was tell her the truth."

"You're a dick." Clint accused him.

Coulson just brushed an imaginary bit of dust from his knee. "You're hurt. We need you back in the field and in the public eye as soon as possible." He clasped his hands in his lap, and Clint really hated him in the moment. Why couldn't he just let he be as wounded on the surface as he felt inside? Clint just wanted to lie in that bed and be angry at the world, was a day of resentment and brooding too much to ask? Yes, he told himself, he had responsibilities and duties; he can't just turn his back on them because he was having a bad day.

"Why?" He dreaded to ask, he hoped it would be an amazing mission that he could sink his teeth into like before, but he knew better than that now. He was just product that S.H.I.E.L.D and Becky needed to sell.

"The fans are worried. We've booked you for your first interview for tomorrow morning, 'Live! With someone and someone'." Coulson tried to sound positive to motivate Clint, but failed, . "We need you looking and acting the part, a gaping gut wound tends to hinder the 'dream boy' image."

Clint turned his head back to the ceiling he detested. It was the same matte silver metal he remembered, same as the walls. It looked easy to clean and that always disturbed him.

"Fuck the dream boy image. I didn't sign up for this shit." His arms and legs were feeling less heavy, and he was tempted to see if he had regained enough energy to storm out of the room. He was itching to hide, to sneak away to one of his nests in the rafters and just watch people walk by for hours on end, like he used to. The idea of people watching him and his every move made him anxious. He preferred to be anonymous, the one observing from afar, and this new job was anything but.

"You think this was anyone's plan?" Phil had a point. S.H.I.E.L.D was supposed to be a secret organization, no one was meant to know about Gods from different planets or men who could turn into monsters with rage. The only people that were meant to be in the spot light were Captain America in the 40's, because he was meant to motivate patriotism and faith so people would buy war bonds, and Tony...well Tony because he was so egotistical not to be known in every household as not only a billionaire genius philanthropist but also a superhero. "None of us were prepared for this much publicity or fame. But we pay you to shut up and deal with it. So do your job." Phil stood up, and for the first time in the years they worked together, Clint thought he looked tired. He had had a tough month like the rest of them, but they always managed to keep face and take it all in stride. It seemed this was the final straw, for not only him, but Agent Coulson as well.

"Yes sir." The air was thick with tension, and from experience, three hostile agents in a small room never ended well.

As if aware of the perfect time to interrupt, Agent Saint Anna walked through the door. Her dark skin and long black hair were a stark contrast with the white doctor's jacket she wore. The smiling face Clint remembered was gone, replaced with a look of worry and fear, her eyes wide as she rushed over to the bed next to Coulson.

"Oh gosh! I heard it was bad but this is terrible!" She grabbed his right hand, and he felt warmth rush up each of his joints. She was already trying to fix him; it was a relief but it felt unnatural, Clint didn't like it one bit. He looked over at Natasha, his eyes begging for help but she only rolled her own in response and muttered something in Russian that Clint didn't know.

"It's nothing." He said, hoping it was flippant enough so she would stop talking but not too rude to cause offence. "Thanks for coming." He reminded himself of his manners, she did after all only have his health in mind. He watched her face darken with a blush, and her concern for his wellbeing wasn't just on a professional level.

"It's not nothing." Damn, so much for flippant… He thought bitterly while giving her a big fake grin. "I can feel it…" She pulled back the bed covers, and Clint was surprised to see his side wrapped tightly in bandages that were stretched so tightly they were more likely to be classed as a tourniquet, blood seeping slowly out staining the white with each breath he took.

"Fuck!" He swore loudly. He didn't know if the pain was worse now because he could see the damage or if the drugs had finally run their course.

"They told me the work they did was only temporary. They weren't able to fix much but I didn't think it was this bad or I would have come sooner." Saint Anna's voice was distant as she began to peel back the bandages. Clint could see the concentration in her green eyes as she worked. "I need you to be strong for me, Clint. This will only work if you don't fight it, okay?" Her words were too vague for his liking, and he didn't like making promises to things he didn't know all the facts about. He looked over her bent shoulder to find Coulson in the back still, the only other person he knew that had had Saint Anna work her mystical healing on before. His lips were thin, and his forehead was scrunched up into several lines; he looked pale as he was probably remembering his own experience silently.

He nodded as he spoke. "Focus on something else. It makes it easier."

"Fuck…" Clint repeated this time more to himself. Advice like that never meant an easy ride. It must be really bad if Coulson was telling him to think of anything else but this. "Okay." He took another deep breath in, which cause a stab of pain in his gut, it was getting worse. Agent Saint Anna's healing began slowly, but it took out all the drugs from his system first, so nothing would mask the injuries before she really started her work. This would all be over soon, he just had to focus; he repeated this mantra as Natasha and Phil left the room, leaving Saint Anna to work by herself.

"You can do this." Anna's words were closer to his ear than he remembered them being before. He opened his eyes, unsure of when he closed them, and saw her face inches away from his. "It won't take long." She hadn't finished her last word before he felt an excruciating burn sear through his stomach.

He managed to raise his head for a second and saw a glowing blue surrounding Saint Anna's hands and his stomach looked as if it was frozen under a mist.

He couldn't keep his head up any longer and dropped it down, his teeth clenched as he drove his head as hard as he could into the pillow. He was choking and groaning as the raw ice that was gnawing away at his insides.

"Fuck!" He cried out again, his teeth clenched so hard he feel his jaw lock.

"Clint, you need to relax!" Anna cried over his shouts. He felt himself gasp and jolt from the bed, trying to get away from the pain. This was worse than the original stab that got him into this mess, he thought bitterly. "Think of something else." She urged.

"Darcy?" He wondered how she knew Darcy's name until he realized he was the one crying it out.

"Think of Darcy." Anna encouraged him. "What color are her eyes?" Clint couldn't help the scream that tore out of his throat as he felt a rip inside his chest. "Oh, I'm sorry, his eyes?" She didn't sound as confident in her question now as her voice wavered. He wanted to laugh at Anna's hurried misunderstood words.

He thought of him and Darcy together this afternoon, or was it yesterday afternoon now? He didn't know. The feel of her soft skin under calloused hands. The curve of her voluptuous body pressed against him. The sound of her laugh as he rushed back to steal another kiss. The spark in her blue eyes when she lay under him, gazing up.

"Blue. Her eyes are blue." The words were gargled. His eyes were closed shut again and his fists in the bed sheets held their tight grip, but his breathing became more even as he spoke, enough so Anna could work.

"Good, how did you meet?" Anna pried, the chilling sensation was subsiding, but there were still various random pulls and tugs that caused him to clench up and moan through gritted teeth.

Now there was a tricky question to answer. They unofficially met each other on that rooftop in New York City the day Loki released the Chitauri. They formally met in the debriefing room that evening with everyone. But where they really met? That glimpse of her in New Mexico didn't count; he was too busy paying attention to the blonde He-Man wannabe to really notice her back then, merely acknowledging her existence but not needing to know more than her name and threat level, which was assumed to be a 1.

No, the first time Clint Barton met Darcy Lewis was the day of the picture that was pinned up on her bedroom wall with thumb tacks. It was the day her and her father went to the circus. The day William Lewis had recruited him to S.H.I.E.L.D. Or, as Clint liked to think of it, the best day of his life, the day that changed his fate forever.

Yes, he met the woman he loved now over fifteen years ago, on the happiest day of his life. If there was such a thing as destiny, Darcy had proved more than once that she was his.

Xxxxxx

"Fuck indeed." Director Fury stated as his lone eye rolled over each surface in her bedroom with mild distain and boredom, obviously not used to the sight of a twenty three year olds idea of tidy, which was a bit below what Darcy expected a middle aged man's standards to be. For example, her clothes that she had shoved in her wardrobe had managed to win in their battle with the doors and were now spilled over in a heap on the floor.

"How can I help you?" Darcy managed to squawk, trying to regain some of her dignity as her eyes adjusted to the light.

Fury was just standing there, arms crossed behind his back as he examined her small, messy room. He was wearing that long leather jacket that Darcy was certain must be permanently attached to him somehow, because she had never seen him without it. Maybe he was hiding wings or a tail underneath it? Wings would be cool, but a tail would be… Ew. Darcy tried not to get distracted by her own thoughts as she shifted uncomfortably in her bed, hoping he wouldn't show her the tail she was now certain he was hiding.

"I'm here about a rather delicate subject." It looked like the words he spoke left a bitter taste in his mouth. Uh oh, Darcy swallowed and sat up straighter in the bed, glad she fell asleep last night in her work clothes, although she was certain her make-up was a mess of smudges and tear streaks down her face.

"Should I get dressed?" She asked awkwardly, grimacing at a potentially stupid question.

"Please." Was the only response she got before he turned and left the room, his coat bellowing out behind him. That must be why he wore it because she didn't spot a tail, Darcy mused before jumping out of bed and running to her small attached bathroom.

She was right about the make-up; she looked like a train wreck! She began to scrub the old mascara and eye line off her face with a wash cloth. It always surprised her that the little make up she did wear somehow managed to increase over night and cover half her face in the morning. Her hair was a mess; she decided not to even touch it with a brush out of fear and just tied it back with a scrunchy she found on the side of the sink.

She stripped out of her crinkled blouse; she sprayed some deodorant and picked a smart looking dark red shirt from the top of her wardrobe. Her trousers looked alright, and she didn't want to keep the Director of S.H.I.E.L.D waiting any longer than necessary; so she made do and slipped some flat shoes on before heading out.

"Morning!" She greeted the older man cheerily, remembering her manners now that her brain was less hazy with sleep than before. She noticed Agent Hill had currently taken a seat on the sofa in front of her and Jane's TV and smiled at her. She wasn't wearing that usual blue jump suit; instead, she was dressed in a black suit with a light pink shirt under her jacket. Darcy couldn't decide if that was scarier or not.

"Please take a seat, Miss Lewis." Agent Hill gestured to the chair on angle to hers. Fury was standing behind the sofa Maria was sitting on, leaning along the back with outstretched arms. Fuck, he looked intimidating like that. Did he know how intimidating he looked right now? Darcy had to suppress a squeak as she walked over to the chair. Her mind getting more and more freaked out with each step closer she took.

Shit. What has she done? Where they firing her? Now that Jane had finished helping Bruce and Erik with her knowledge of spacey stuff and that second scepter had been made and used, where did that leave them? They couldn't get rid of Jane; she was Thor's girlfriend, there was no way they were booting her out of fear they'd lose The God of Thunder as well. But her? Darcy was dispensable. Dispensable and breaking the rules by sleeping with one of their top agents. She knew they couldn't keep it secret forever. They wanted her gone and she understood why.

She wondered why she just hadn't seen it coming.

Darcy sat on the soft chair slowly, feeling very small when she put her arms on the cushioned arm rests, but then she changed her mind and held them in her lap, smoothing out all the winkles that didn't disappear despite her efforts. Why did she have to be wearing the trousers she'd been sleeping in?

"As I'm sure you're aware, The Avenger's mission yesterday was successful but didn't go quite as planned."

Darcy felt her forehead crinkle up. Why were they telling her this? She had nothing to do with the mission. "I'd be worried if two unconscious superheroes were ever meant to be part of a plan." She commented, feeling her defences rising.

"Miss Lewis, I'll cut to the chase." Maria Hill crossed her legs and handed Darcy a folder that she hadn't noticed before, not that she was really paid attention. Darcy took it, telling her hands not to shake as she did so. Luckily they obeyed. "We want you to train as a field agent."

"Shut the fuck up!" Darcy nearly dropped the folder as she saw various documents and photos, all about her or something she's done. There was picture from her archery lesson of the circular target and the dozens of arrows she had managed to hit in the small yellow area; it was stapled to a written report from Clint. There was a picture of her laughing with Loki as she showed him pictures of tiny animals doing cute things on her laptop from yesterday, it angled down which make Darcy sure it was taken from a security camera. Towards the back of the various sheets of paper her eyes skimmed the title 'Psychological Evaluation', but she was too astonished from this news to read much more.

"I'm sorry?" Marie didn't sound so sure when she spoke this time, obviously not used to getting the reaction Darcy just had to the job offer.

"Is this some kind of joke? Did Tony put you up to this?" It was just like Tony to do this; he was still pissed Darcy hadn't organized 'The night of passion fruit, brandy and cigars' like she promised him the day they met. It would have been alright except he insisted bringing it up every time he saw her, and 'conveniently' forgetting about the word 'fruit' when other people were nearby. Even for Tony, this was a bit of an extreme prank; how did he even get Fury and Hill to agree? They didn't even like him!

"I can assure you, we are completely serious." Fury told her, his tone remaining level but firm.

"Fuck me." Darcy relaxed back in the chair, the folder lay in her lap, and she ran her fingers over her forehead and messy hair. "Did no one else apply this year or something?" She gave a nervous laugh, not really meaning the question but she felt the need to ask; she did seem to have an odd sort of luck when applying for things. Both agents just started at her blankly. "You've got the wrong person. You want a bad-ass with ninja skills." Darcy ticked off the qualities on her fingers. "I'm a hit and miss kind of person, mainly I just miss." She chewed on her bottom lip; she wanted to get out of here, get away from the information overload and just sit on Clint's sofa watching crappy TV with his arms around her.

"The evidence from your training sessions disagrees." Agent Hill said politely, reaching into the folder and pulling out another photo, this time of the body targets her and Natasha used when gun training, Darcy could barely tell the difference except her shots were a bit more randomly spaced than Black Widow's. A chill ran up her spine as she visibly shivered.

"This can't be right." She muttered to herself. She began to fill over each page in the folder; coming across more of this 'evidence' Maria spoke about. "I burn Pop-Tarts! I can't be a secret agent." Darcy admitted in disbelief.

"Miss Lewis, you don't just become an agent, it is a lengthy process. You will have two months intense training and will be required to do numerous tests and tasks before you're actually allowed to go on any sort of accompanied mission."

"No, I'm not what you're after. I am the definition of a liability!" Darcy announced. She was unorganized in everything except paperwork, loud, naive and didn't have a mental filter. She wasn't super strong like Thor and Hulk or super smart like Tony and Bruce. "What would my superpower even be anyways? Getting distracted easily? 'Cause, I'm like a magpie when it comes to shiny things."

Maria cracked a smile at her obscure joke, but Fury remained stone faced as he walked around the small living room, picking up random objects and analyzing them. Darcy had never seen a man more interested in a can of hairspray in her life.

"Not everyone has superpowers. Even those who do, don't automatically become agents." Darcy raised an eyebrow at the statement. There were more people with superpowers that weren't in S.H.I.E.L.D? Cool.

Darcy tried to focus on them again and not the idea of people working in cafes or banks that could also have hidden talents. She groaned and covered her face with her hands. "Alright." She said after a while, the silence becoming too much to bear. She lowered her hands into her lap and began to twirl the ring she wore on her right hand. "If, and this is a big 'if', if I said yes, what happens next?" One step at a time, she told herself, she could think clearer if they told everything one step at a time.

"You'd have a lot to prove. Despite those reports and our opinions," Fury gestured at himself and Hill, "There are a few people who don't think you have it in you."

"What?" Darcy was suddenly angry, who thought she didn't have it in her? She was a smart woman and with a little training she would be able to find them and kick their collective asses!

Darcy stood up with determination and shoved the folder onto the chair she just vacated. She hadn't really known she wanted to be an agent until that moment, but it made sense; she always wanted to be something more than Jane's assistant, she just didn't know what...

"Who?" Darcy had to know. If there were people who didn't think she had the guts or skills, then she was going to prove them wrong. She almost smirked at her internal promise. How dare they try and stop her?

Fury was actually smiling at her reaction. A real smile. Darcy was surprised at how it suited him; he looked at least ten years younger when he started showing his pearly white teeth. "A few agents with more experience."

Darcy rested her hands on her hips. "Coulson?"

Fury laughed as he shook his head. "Coulson likes your spunk. He voted for you." Darcy's arms dropped to her side. Coulson liked her spunk? She felt kind of happy about his approval. It was silly, but Agent Phil Coulson kind of reminded her of her dad. That serious yet loveable quality. Few people had it. Fury coughed and Darcy snapped back into the room. "Your training will begin tomorrow with an agility test at 8 sharp, so don't be up too late celebrating. Dr Foster has already been informed that you will no longer be assisting her."

Maria stood from the sofa, she handed Darcy a thick black packet with the S.H.I.E.L.D logo on it and headed towards the door. Darcy thanked her then paused as she saw Fury following her lead.

"Hang on, how'd you know I'd say yes?" They had already told Jane, so what if she turned them down?

"Miss Lewis, you are a twenty three year old university drop out with no career prospects. You know about nearly every classified detail of The Avengers, and are even good friends with most of them. You're curious and perceptive but sometimes don't know when to shut up. You handle yourself surprisingly well in crisis situations, add that to an odd fixation with dangerous weapons..." Fury listed and Darcy felt herself blush, lost for words at his extremely honest assessment. "How could you ever say no?"

The door shut behind him and Maria, not giving her any time to react. He was right. How could she ever say no? Now that she was over the initial shock and confusion, Darcy felt extremely excited. She was going to train to be a secret agent! How awesome was that? She wished so could go back to school and shove this is everyone's faces; she'd bet Suzie Hubbard's job was nowhere near as awesome as hers, serves her right for telling Darcy she was too chubby to be a cheerleader, not that she even wanted to be one.

She found herself by the front door, ready to head up to Clint's room to tell him her news but stopped herself when she realized he wouldn't be there. He was in the hospital wing, on the edge of death. Her hand lingered on the doorknob as her eyes filled up with tears.

She hated herself for not being strong enough to go see him. She was being selfish, she loved him and yet, she couldn't even bring herself to hold his hands when he was in pain. And now, it was too late. She wasn't good enough for him. He was this amazing sniper and a mind-blowingly skilled and passionate lover who has a great personality and a big heart to match, even if he did act like a jerk sometimes. She was just Darcy. She loved him, but she was holding him back; he deserved someone better, like another ninja assassin like him. She shook her head and let go of the handle.

She would become better; she would train and be the best agent she could be. Then she would go to him, if he would take her. Yes, Darcy could do this, she went to her room and began downloading some songs and movies onto her laptop, which somehow was still working even after its little battering earlier. She had the motivation, Clint, and she would have to channel a lot of badassness to accomplish it, but with the help of the Buffy soundtrack and watching every movie with Angelina Jolie and Kate Beckinsale in, Darcy knew she could totally do this.

Xxxxxx

Darcy's laugh rang through his ears. She was cooking in his apartment, the one thing she said she knew how to actually make rather than microwave, quesadillas. It was around one in the morning, and they were still half naked and sweaty from sex. Darcy was laughing as she sang along to the credits of the movie they had missed, mostly because they were distracted and Clint was leaning over the back of the sofa, arms draped lazily over the edge, watching her as she walked around the kitchen in just his shirt. Her bare legs unfortunately hidden behind the half wall that separated it from the living room.

He could smell the cheese from where his was but it was not the food that was making him salivate. Darcy looked stunning, her messy hair was pinned up with a claw clip thing that Clint didn't know how worked, her glasses were propped on top of her head, she was supposed to wear them when watching TV or using a computer, but she always forgot. Clint had reminded her tonight because he loved seeing her wear them, not that he'd admit it. He loved her nerdy vibe, but she had hit him before for calling her a hipster and Clint had learned his lesson.

He loved her.

He knew it had been building for a while now, but this seemed to be the final piece that made it solid. In that moment, he knew and now just wanted to constantly tell her and announce it to the world that he, Clint Barton, was so deeply and passionately in love with Darcy Lewis. Watching her do something so domestic with such ease and comfort, he could not picture a life without her anymore. A life with her, it sounded perfect. He must have been grinning like a fool as he rested his chin on the back of the sofa and continued to watch her cut up some peppers he had left over in the fridge. He never thought he'd ever get the chance for this, when he signed up to S.H.I.E.L.D, he had given up the hope of a normal relationship, choosing to focus on work and not get distracted. He'd tried the boyfriend/girlfriend thing after a few years, fed up of sleeping in an empty bed, but casual sex was always easier when he didn't know what he'd be doing, or even what country he'd be in the next day. Other agents seemed to have the same idea; so it was easy to lie to himself and pretend random sex was enough.

Then Darcy Lewis had stormed into his life, and no longer could he hold back his sudden desire to be with her. She didn't give him a choice. He was fascinated by her and her enthusiasm for life and all its randomness. She took so much pleasure in such little things, like shit TV movies and the fact she saw an agent help another one carry a huge stack of papers that had somehow made it on her list of awesome things from her day. She was kind and funny, he was still amazed by her inability to not get to know someone, no matter how brief and insignificant her contact with them was. The simple fact the she knew both agents first names from the story earlier and was now trying to set them up on a date because the guy had loved the girl since she started working here and the girl had finally noticed him, only proved his point. She was everything he thought he could never have. He'd even mentioned her in an email to his brother, something he'd never done before; he barely even mentioned Natasha in those messages yet, he couldn't wait to hear what his little brother had to say about Darcy.

"You want extra sour cream?" She asked randomly, pulling him out of his thoughts.

"Sure." He said softly, not wanting to move from his slothful position. Darcy smiled as she walked around the couch with two plates. She leaned down and kissed him lightly on the lips before sitting down next to him, forcing him to sit forward and take his food.

It looked a little burnt around the edges of the tortilla, but he didn't complain, not wanting to hurt her feelings at her first attempt to cook for him. He took a bite and was pleasantly surprised at how good it was. He had never had homemade quesadillas before.

"Mmmm." He moaned as he chewed, giving her an appreciative look. "This is amazing." He said before taking a huge bite.

"I know." Darcy said, smugly, digging into her own meal. She leaned forward and licked a spot of sour cream off the corner of his mouth. Clint stared wide eyed at her, and if his mouth wasn't full of chicken and cheese, then he would have said he loved her right there and then. Instead, he silently chewed and swallowed, wrapping his arm around her shoulders, letting her snuggle up to his bare chest as he watched her flick through the channels to find some reruns of a show named Tru Calling which he'd never heard of. Half way through the episode, he decided it wasn't that bad and that sitting with her, in the middle of the night, was the most blissfully happy he'd been in years.

He kissed the top of her head and moved her half eaten plate of food from her lap and onto the coffee table as she drifted off to sleep. Yeah, he was going to tell her as soon as he could, he would take her out to a fancy dinner, because that's what gentleman do. He wasn't going to lose her just because he was too scared of admitting his feelings.

"Agent Barton?" A voice shook him from his dream. No, it wasn't a dream, he was just remembering.

"Hmmm?" Was all he could manage as he opened his eyes.

"How's the pain?" He was about to say what pain when everything hit him. Yes, that pain. He sat up in the bed and pulled the sheet down to look at his stomach. It was clear, clean of blood and those bandages from earlier, the only evidence that anything had happened was the slightly blue mark over the area that had been damaged. He ran a rough hand over it, it felt slightly cool to touch but there was no pain.

"I'm good." He lied. Sure, his body was fine but his heart was deflated and that memory wasn't helping.

"That's great." Agent Saint Anna said with a bright smile. "You're good to go then."

Clint's eyes widened. "Just like that?"

"I wouldn't say what you went through to heal was easy, but you're back to normal now, if not better. Director Fury wants to debrief you as well, and I think there is a party for one of your friends tonight." That was news to him. What was the party for? It didn't seem like the right time to be celebrating anything and he certainly wasn't in the right mood to be happy and social. "So, you have a life, go live it." Saint Anna said, as she closed his medical file and placed it lightly on the bedside table.

Clint nodded, not really absorbing her words as he got dressed in some S.H.I.E.L.D issue jogging bottoms and a hoodie. He pointed himself in the direction of the lift, praying he wouldn't bump into anyone as he went back to his room to get changed. He wasn't that lucky though, Coulson grabbed him a minute later and insisted he see Fury now before anything else. Clint merely nodded and followed his superior, the feeling of loss getting worse every time he thought about Darcy and how she wasn't there for him when he needed her.

Xxxxxx

Another chapter down, only ten more to go! I just want to take a moment to thank everyone who reviews/favourites/alerts my story. It all means so much to me and knowing that people are enjoying my fic is such an amazing reward. So, if you don't mind reviewing, then please take a moment and pop a few words in the box below. I really do appreciate it and love hearing your opinions and always try to respond to them.

I hope you enjoyed reading this chapter and things will certainly get better from now on, I can promise you that!

Thank you all and please review if you feel so inclined.

Charlie