A/N: First off it's been quite a while since this story was last updated and I apologize for that. My friend and I got a little sidetracked with a Bamon one shot that wouldn't let us focus on this story without it being typed up first so expect to see a one shot up sometime soon. Anyway as always thank you for following/favouriting/reviewing this story it makes me incredibly happy to know that everyone is enjoying it so far. I know some of you are getting anxious for the bamon heavy chapters to start and I promise it's happening soon. This chapter is set in the past.

Disclaimer: The Vampire Diaries belongs to L.J. Smith and CW. This is a work of fiction and is in now way intended to violate the terms of copyright for The Vampire Diaries.

Chapter Thirteen

Bonnie hugged the bouquet of flowers close to her as she made her way among the many headstones. She looked around fervently hoping to spot the one she was looking for. She stopped finally in front of a headstone that read 'Jeremy Gilbert, Brother and Friend' and she let out the breath she hadn't known she'd been holding.

"Hey Jeremy," Bonnie said as she felt the first tear roll down her cheek. In an effort to compose herself she went about her task and kneeled in front of the stone to place the bouquet of flowers. She did so slowly almost as if reluctant to let go of the flowers, she knew placing them before the headstone would make everything real.

"You know I was…" She paused a little contemplating her words. "I was thinking about the last thing I said to you…'We did it'"

Bonnie let out a small sardonic laugh, "Totally lame last thing to say to someone."

"That wasn't a goodbye Jeremy," She felt the tears coming freely now. "You were supposed to come back with us."

Her voice died down to a small whisper as she finished, unsure what else more she could say to the friend she had failed to protect, to keep alive.

"Bonnie."

Her back stiffened at the sound of her name. Uttered by his voice. No, it can't be, Bonnie thought.

"Jeremy," Bonnie whispered in disbelief but with a smile spreading across her tear streaked face. She'd know his voice anywhere.

"Wake up." Jeremy said and Bonnie frowned as she noted the worry in his face and the wind suddenly pick up. But she brushed it off.

"How are you here?" She asked her curiosity getting the best of her.

But Jeremy stood before her, the only sign of life in him was the concern and slight fear in his features as he said once more, "Bonnie. Wake. Up."

Bonnie shook her head. "I don't understand?"

What was he talking about? She was awake and in a cemetery and he was here. Why did she need to wake up?

"Open your eyes." Jeremy said but at Bonnie's inaction he stepped forward and took hold of her shoulders and shook her forcefully. "Bonnie open your eyes!"

Her eyes flew open and through the haze of her dream she took in the smell of smoke and her rapidly focusing gaze saw the angry flames that were licking the edge of her lumpy bed in her small room.

"Oh my god!" She sat up quickly now fully awake and without hesitation she swept her arm in front of her in one fluid motion effectively extinguishing the flames. The only evidence of the fire was the lingering smoke in the air which sluggishly dissipated through her open window.

She looked around her surroundings with wide eyes for any other evidence of the fire but though the heat of the flames remained, the few items of furniture in her room were unaffected by it. She sat up fully in her bed and she hugged her knees to her chest and rested her head on them as she felt more tears coming.

God, what was happening to her? How was it possible that her magic was getting so out of control? She was starting fires now? If this persisted, she'd be found out for what she was in no time. And they'll burn me at the stake, Bonnie thought. Everything seemed to be going from bad to worse in these last couple of days. Emily was positively livid with her and-Bonnie suspected-she felt a bit betrayed by her, after all Bonnie had promised she'd tell her everything about the spell she used to get here and she had yet to do so. Emily most likely thought she had no intentions of telling her at all. But Bonnie too felt betrayed by Emily. She'd thought her concerns would take precedent over Katherine's, they were after all family. But Bonnie knew that, above all, Emily wanted to protect and conserve everything that happened in this time. But she didn't understand, Emily didn't know that because of what happened here in 1864, people in the present were dying. Mystic Falls was in constant danger because of what Katherine did here. God her mere presence is a curse. How could Emily not understand that?

Bonnie wiped furiously at her cheeks, willing her self to stop crying. She wasn't going to give up. Not now. She'd have to figure out a way to control her Expression. There was no room for mistakes if she wanted to change things here. It was a matter of life and death literally. Either she controlled her powers or she'd die at the hands of the terrified citizens of Mystic Falls. She stood up and looked out her window. The night was quiet, she suspected it was around two in the morning, still early.

She dressed quickly and made her way out her room as quietly as she could manage with her shaking hands. She knew it was a risk, going out alone at this time. But what better than the cloak of night to protect her from prying eyes?

She made her way among the knee-high grass of the back fields of the estate, the dark shapes of the trees from the woods growing taller as she walked at a brisk pace towards them.

Bonnie reached a clearing after stumbling among the dark trees, she'd tripped a couple of times and had scraped the palm of her hands on one occasion when she fell but she ignored the sting and the smell of blood and carried on until the foliage around her seemed thick enough to protect her.

Now in this clearing Bonnie felt almost shy, unsure of herself. Should she really be doing this? It was dark and she was in the middle of the woods but performing magic out in the open was still dangerous.

Isn't this what people call the witching hour? Could you be any more obvious Bennett? Bonnie shook her head at these thoughts a small smile breaking out on her face, the first since she'd awoken to the flames, this voice sounded a lot like Damon. This is something I have to do, Bonnie thought back in response.

With new resolve she lifted her hands feeling her power gathering at her finger tips. It's now or never. There was a slight burst of power from her hands and the trees around her creaked in protest and Bonnie stumbled as the force of it pushed her back slightly. She shook her head, hear breathing coming fast as her heart thumped loudly against her chest from the adrenaline coursing through her.

"Dammit," She muttered looking around her, afraid the groaning of the trees around her had attracted someone's attention. After a moment she focused her gaze forward and lifted her hands once more, she was determined to make some sort of progress tonight.

Clunk. The knife dropped loudly on the chopping board at Bonnie's frustration. She was in the kitchen with a few other slaves that were muttering ceaselessly as they worked. She tried to drown out their voices, not caring for whatever gossip had them in hushed conversation. She grabbed at hear head as her temple throbbed painfully. She hadn't managed to do anything at all with her Expression earlier, in fact she'd only managed to uproot all the trees within a ten foot radius around her. She'd fled back to the slave quarters after that. She'd only managed to get a few hours of sleep hence the headache. God she'd kill for an aspirin right now.

"I heard Masta's awful worried."

"They don't know what coulda happened to 'im."

"Oh no he dead."

"Dontcha go around sayin' that." This last voice was stern.

Bonnie frowned as she focused on the conversation the women around her were having. Someone died?

"I'm jus' sayin' when most go a-missing they don't ever come back."

Bonnie looked at the short woman who said this, "Excuse me? Um…who died?"

"Masta's son, Mista Damon." The woman spoke matter-of-factly.

"What?" Bonnie said in a quiet voice.

"Oh hush now, he ain't dead, he's missin'" A taller, plump woman said quieting the other two. "Stop sayin' that and get back to your choppin' lest someone hear ya sayin' such things."

Bonnie felt cold all of a sudden. What did they mean he was missing? Why did they think he was dead? He was Damon for crying out loud, it didn't make sense. No. They didn't know what they were talking about. But Stefan would.

"I…I have to go." Bonnie said as she turned and walked out of the kitchen, leaving the other women to stare after her in confusion.

She walked through the halls as inconspicuously as possible looking into every room she could in hopes of finding Stefan. As she made her way she noticed the silence that seemed to engulf the manor. It was surreal, all the days that Bonnie had been here, there was always a bustle of activity about the house but today…she shuddered, it felt as if the house itself was in mourning. Where the hell is Stefan?

Bonnie stopped outside the open door of the library when she heard Katherine's voice. She quickly flattened herself against the wall by the door so they couldn't see her as she listened to what was being said.

"You mustn't think this way Stefan, I am sure they will find him in no time. Or perhaps he will come home."

Katherine's voice was low, complacent as she consoled Stefan.

"They said he is missing in action. That can only mean he is injured on the battlefield somewhere and on the verge of death, or he already is…"

Bonnie heard Stefan's shaky intake of breath and her hand flew to her mouth stifling a gasp. This wasn't right. This hadn't happened the first time around had it? Damon never…No. He doesn't die. He's supposed to come back…

"Oh Stefan," Katherine muttered.

Bonnie heard movement and dared to take a glance inside only to see Katherine holding Stefan in an embrace as he shook in silent sobs.

She shook her head as she felt a wet tear fall from her face and quickly wiped it away. They didn't know he was dead, he was only missing. Damon was too stubborn to die. He'd fight through whatever was happening, if only to come back to Katherine.

Bonnie walked away aimlessly as she thought this. She knew Damon wasn't dead. He couldn't be. It was strange but Bonnie felt Damon was a permanent fixture in their lives, him and Stefan, and to think otherwise was just…wrong. But Stefan seemed so sure, so distraught…

She focused on where her feet were taking her if only to forget the sight of Stefan crying silently in Katherine's arms and she found herself in front of the slave quarters. She should go back to the kitchens, but the thought of hearing the women speaking of Damon as if he actually were- No they were all wrong, he'd pull through and he'd come back, just like he always did. The Damon she knew didn't give up so easily, if he survived a werewolf bite then surely he could survive whatever happened to him now.

But what if he is dead? He's only human after all.

"No." Bonnie muttered to herself as she sat down on the chair next to her bed. Human or not, Damon was too stubborn and he's not supposed to die so he can't be dead.

But then, her presence here had already changed so much, what if this was one of those things? Had her being here caused this? Was he…missing because of her? God…she'd only wanted to keep him human, she never wanted him to die. But, even if he wasn't dead and she managed to keep him human, he would die, eventually. But he was supposed to live. Probably get married and have children or something not die during this gruesome war. He deserved to live a long life as a human, Stefan too. God this wasn't what she wanted. Bonnie turned to the window and looked out, not bothering to wipe the silent tears that streamed down her face. It was raining softly out, the sky overcast in grey clouds that seemed to settle over Mystic Falls. Bonnie touched the talisman on her neck through the cloth of her dress and sat down slowly on the edge of her bed staring silently ahead, her heart heavy with guilt. This is all my fault.

Katherine frowned as Stefan left the library. He was utterly inconsolable. She had half a mind to compel him but she figured it would be in bad taste on her behalf.

"Miss Katherine?"

"Emily." Katherine stood and straightened out her skirt.

"You wanted to see me?"

"Yes," Katherine paused and looked her over, "do you have the rings with you?"

"I do."

"Good, keep them safe." Katherine said.

"Of course, Miss Katherine." Emily made to leave but was stopped by Katherine.

"Tell me something, your cousin, that Bonnie," Emily's gaze narrowed at her words. "How is her wound?"

Emily breathed easily at her question before responding, "She is fully healed."

"Hmm, thanks to your powers, no doubt." Katherine quirked a questioning brow at her. "Are you sure she has no magic?"

"Yes Miss Katherine I am sure, she is a distant cousin, not a direct descendant of the Bennett line." Emily said stoically, her expression unreadable.

"Well then, I trust you wouldn't lie to me on the matter," Katherine said. She didn't know what it was, call it a sixth sense, but she felt there was more to Bonnie Everett than she let on. It was ridiculous but she had the distinct impression that Bonnie was somehow a threat to her.

"Of course not Miss Katherine."

Katherine sighed as she watched Emily leave the room. She didn't trust Emily, much. But she'd have to take her word about Bonnie. Emily had served her well so far and had yet to give her cause for concern, but she hadn't survived this long on the run by trusting others and Emily was a witch after all, and witches were self righteous, always willing to make sacrifices for the greater good. But she'd trust Emily for now, in the mean time she'd work on a back up plan in case she turned on her.

"Bonnie." Stefan said in a low voice as he saw her come out from the building.

He'd been in his room after leaving Miss Katherine. She had been kind to him, trying to make him feel better, but he only felt worse while with her. He had been happy these past few weeks with Miss Katherine, while Damon was off at war and now he was probably dead. He didn't feel guilty for being with Miss Katherine, after all she had said Damon didn't matter, not where she was concerned, since they had both decided not to pursue a romantic relationship, so Stefan was free to be with Miss Katherine. Still he felt terrible and though he didn't blame Katherine, he found it difficult to be in her presence. Damon was off fighting for the Confederacy's cause while he was in the luxury of his home untouched by the troubles of war, until now. He had wanted Damon to stay so badly, he had told him not to go, if only perhaps he had insisted this would not have happened. But Stefan knew there was little use dwelling on what he could have done to prevent this and so he went out looking for Bonnie, it had been quite a while since he last spoke to her and he found himself wanting her company.

"Stefan." Bonnie stated as she looked up, she had managed to calm herself and was on her way back to the kitchen. She took a good look at Stefan who gave her a sad smile that didn't reach his red-rimmed eyes. He had been crying.

"Would it be alright if I took you away from your duties?" Stefan asked. "I do not want to disturb you I just…I-"

"It's alright I didn't feel like going to the kitchen anyway." Bonnie nodded and attempted to give him a smile of her own without much success and began walking to the back of the building to their usual spot.

"I suppose you know then?" Stefan asked solemnly as he settled against the rough brick of the building.

Bonnie remained quiet for a moment, unsure of what to say. "I've only heard whispers here and there."

"Whispers," Stefan chuckled humorlessly. "Yes everyone knows, and everyone assumes…"

He stopped abruptly realizing his voice had been rising angrily.

"He is not dead, Bonnie." Stefan fisted his hands around the damp grass, the rain had finally settled but the clouds still lagged behind, a product of Bonnie's emotions.

"He can't be." Stefan uttered dejectedly.

Bonnie said nothing, what could she say? She doubted very much he wanted to hear false promises. She couldn't say everything was going to be fine, she herself doubted it would be. She could see Stefan was growing close to tears once more and so decided to distract him with conversation.

"What is your father doing, about Damon I mean?"

Stefan frowned, "He's off in town at a council meeting."

"I don't understand, shouldn't he be here? I mean what if they send word about him? What if they find him or something?" Bonnie asked growing angry. Did he not care about his son? Didn't he care that he could be dead?

"My father," Stefan paused and took a deep breath to calm himself, "My father is waiting for confirmation. In the mean time he is going about his business as usual. 'The world has not ceased to stop' is what he said."

Bonnie felt her heart break for Damon. How could his own father care so little for him? But then again she knew all about that. Her own father had left her for such a long time and now that he had come back, well Bonnie knew he cared for her in his own indecipherable way, but he feared her, her power and how strong she was becoming before she came to the past.

"He sent word to his commander that he wanted to be notified at once if he was found and the…condition in which Damon was found. However till then, my father will do nothing."

Bonnie nodded and said with newfound conviction, "Well he's right, after all no one knows he's dead, they only know he's missing so there is a chance he's alive somewhere."

Stefan shook his head, "He went missing during a failed raid on one of the Union camps, many of the soldiers in his battalion died before they were ordered to retreat and Damon was the only one unaccounted for."

"That's good news Stefan," Bonnie said as she felt a glimmer of hope for the first time all day.

At the confusion in Stefan's face she elaborated. "Look this means he probably fell back when he saw they were being defeated, perhaps he had to lie low before making his way back."

Stefan looked at her contemplating her words. It was a possibility, but still as much as he wanted to hope, he was afraid to do so. Yet Bonnie looked so sure and Stefan thought perhaps he ought to hope, perhaps-if God be willing-Damon was alive and he would make his way back to them.

"Thank you Bonnie," Stefan took a hold of her hand in his and gave her a grateful smile that warmed her chilled heart.

"You said so yourself Stefan, he can't be dead and he isn't dead." I refuse to believe he's dead, too many people have died already, Fate wouldn't be so cruel. Not to them, not to Damon he doesn't deserve this. Bonnie thought to herself. The Damon here and now was an innocent man, he had yet to do all the terrible things he did in the name of his love for Katherine, and even then Katherine was the one to fault. She had played him, led him to believe that she loved him and she was never in that tomb. As much as she had hated Damon at first, as much as she had blamed him for all the bad things that happened, for her Grams, for Caroline, she knew that it all came back to Katherine. And though she didn't condone what Damon did for her, she understood. After all she too went to extremes for the ones she loved. That's why she was in 1864. To save everyone. Because she loved them, her friends, and they didn't deserve any of this. They were innocents, caught in the crossfire of the mayhem created by Katherine. Damon was an innocent caught in the middle of the bloodiest war in American history. And so because Damon didn't deserve to die, Bonnie chose the believe he wasn't dead. Because Fate couldn't possibly be so cruel.

Stefan squeezed the hand he still held as Bonnie laid her head on his shoulder, the smile still on his face. He had hope and he would hold onto it because he knew in his heart that he'd see his brother again. Damon loved him and he wouldn't dare leave him, not without saying goodbye.