Hello, man I love this story, I love making the twists and turns in the plot. Making the Akatsuki boys suffer is amazing fun, and if you have any suggestions on how to make them suffer, by all means, give me them by reviews, I love adding them in, and changing the story ever so slightly just to add them in.

BTW… I don't own anything!!! Except for Cobalt and the outside world she came from…

Enjoy!

Khanh: Long time no review! It's nice to have you review again. Your sister gets brain farts during video games? I get mine while talking, like this one time, I wasn't really listening to the conversation going around in art class as we were drawing foil, (it was SO much fun, notice the sarcasm, drawing foil is tedious and difficult and friggen annoying) and I decided to enter the conversation by saying

"I know what you mean, I hate drawing foil too" and they were like

"We were talking about boys…"

Whoops…

Gaara's Pyro RACCOON: I added your idea! Not the paper cut one, even though I'll integrate it soon, but the wet dream one, It's near the end, and if I use the term bleediation I will give you credit for it!

Haku's No. 1 Girl:I can't take ALL the credit, yes Konan is my creation, but a LOT of the ideas of making the Akatsuki crazy come from my reviewers, so by all means give me some ideas that you think will be funny and I'll them in whenever I CAN!

Kisamaria: Thanks for the LONG and AWESOME review! Great idea too, I'll have to add it in somehow, maybe in a later chapter, enjoy the chaos that Konan brings in this chapter though

This story is now in a C-2 Community!!!! Eeek! Yeah!!! I am SO happy! Thank you to whoever nominated this story to the "World of Creativity" community thingy. It is SUCH an honor! That is basically my motivation to pop out this chapter so early. I am glad all of you really like this story, I am really ecstatic, seriously

Thank You!

-Otakucraze

Chapter 14

I walked out of my room and went to the kitchen to steal some kunai when I saw Kisame eating onigiri. I stopped dead in my tracks and stared at him, he stopped mid bite to glance at me

"What?"

"You CANIBAL!"

"What?" He said in disbelief. I grinned behind the high collar of the cloak before grabbing a kunai from his kunai pouch and pulling out a chair next to him and quickly sat down.

"This is Konan inside the Akatsuki Headquarters and I am interviewing Kisame here. He is a cannibal" I said imitating a news person. Kisame looked at me weird. "How do you feel, eating seaweed, your own kind Kisame? And is your blue skin a result of eating your own kind? When did you first eat your own kind? DO YOU FEEL NO REMORSE?" I asked, standing up quickly and slapping him hard with my free hand "You disgust me!" I said evilly as I stomped out of my room, going through fits of silent laughter.

I went to my room as I came up with an AWESOME idea. Taking some wires and speakers I gave Kisame's room, and bathroom, a surround sound system. I know I am SO nice! NOT, really, I programmed a specific song to play whenever he entered his room, and to play ten times louder if he entered his bathroom. Nice? Nah, I'm EVIL!

I began to set up Deidara's room when a familiar song waft through the walls

"I'm blue, da ba dee da ba die…" Smirking at the lyrics and the frustrated sound of Kisame trying to figure out where the sound was coming from, soon the song became louder and definite curse words, amazingly louder than the song itself, penetrated through the walls. I finished the speakers for Deidara's room and left quickly.

It was my time to cook once again, and this time they made it fool proof, or what they thought of as "foolproof". I was making instant ramen, boiling water when I got bored and looked through the cabinets, I grinned when I saw things I loved when I was a child, food dye and sprinkles, why they have them here, I don't know. I opened the lids of the ramen and squeezed every last drop from the little blue food dye container I then poured sprinkles on top and poured the water in, pouring more sprinkles for good measure and served it to everyone, watching their faces as they looked at their undercooked blue ramen with sprinkles in wonder how a girl, someone from the Akatsuki could mess up such a task, they decided that day that Konan was never cooking again.

Minutes after Deidara left the table music blasted through the walls. The lyrics? "Dude looks like a lady!" I fell off my chair in laughter as many others snickered while finishing their pretty blue ramen with rainbow sprinkles.

Deidara came out steaming

"WHERE IS SHE, UN?!"

"What do you mean, Deidara-san, Konan-hime is right- Where is Konan-hime?" Tobi asked, the rest of Akatsuki looked around, slightly shocked that she just disappeared without them knowing, but she didn't disappear for long, she came out with a permed blonde wig with the bangs on the right side of her face. Deidara was shocked.

I grabbed my pouch of play-dough (which I do not own) and glared at Deidara

"What the hell are you staring at, UN, YOU BITER, why do you look like me?" I said in my "guy" voice.

"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN "YOU BITER"?! You're the one imitating me, un"

"Nonsense yeah" I said, taking out some play-dough and threatening him "Now lay off the jutsu before I blow you up" I said, rolling the play dough into a ball and Deidara looked shocked

"You got some of my clay?" He said, unsure of his next step

"Yep" I lied as I threw the ball at him, imitating his hand seal and yelled "KATSU" Deidara freaked, as the rest of them, until the ball of clay bounced off Deidara's head and to the floor.

Deidara was more shocked than he was before.

"Why you…" He stuffed his hands into his clay pouch and munching sounds could be heard, soon he was molding the clay one-handed before making a little bird fly towards me, before it was even one foot away from Deidara I made the hand seals and yelled

"KATSU" The clay bird blew up and I squealed in joy "Oooo Pretty fireworks" I ran away from the now literally steaming Deidara before he would kill me, or attempt to at least.

I ran into Hidan's room and started changing the clouds of his Akatsuki cloak into red hearts, and a couple ponies and fairies. After finishing this I saw his scythe and quickly brought it into my room, snickering as I did so. It did not take long until Hidan started pounding on my door ordering me to give it back to him, I yelled back

"I HAVE YOUR SCYTHE FOR RELIGIOUS REASONS NOW SHUT UP BEFORE I TELL JASHIN-SAMA THAT YOU ARE NOT COOPERATING!" That shut him up, for awhile, until he started freaking out on everyone

"What is wrong with you Hidan?)

"Jashin-samaistestingmeandidonotknowifIcanhandleit" He said (Jashin-sama is testing me and I do not know if I can handle it) People blinked and stared at Hidan before going back to their own business. I found Hidan hyperventilating in a corner and started yelling at him

"STOP BEING EMO!" I slapped him "It's bad enough you worship Satan and Zetsu wants to eat you but that does not mean you have to resort to being emo" He looked up at me pissed. I said something wrong, didn't I?

"I DO NOT F.UCKING WORSHIP SATAN, NOW GIVE ME BACK MY F.UCKING SCYTHE YOU WENCH!" He said while getting up, and as the rest of Akatsuki would say "I used my brain for once" and ran for my life and went into my room.

Once I felt it was safe I went into Kakuzu's room and found him counting money. I dumped myself in a chair next to him. He gave me glance but otherwise ignored me

"You wouldn't believe what I read in Hidan's diary" I said, acting sullen and serious for once, which made him listen carefully because it was obviously important "Hidan's gay" I lied straight out "And he has the hots for you, he stood by you all last night, which is why he is all pissy today, watching you sleep and debating whether or not to climb into your bed with you and rape you" I said, still using the same tone, even tough inside I was laughing my head off. He stared at me in shock after telling him the news "If you do not believe me, wait until tonight and see if he comes into your room" I said as I got up and left.

After leaving Kakuzu alone I quietly crept into the kitchen and opened the refrigerator to find Zetsu's raw steaks, I took them out and soaked them in weed killer and rubbed them in miracle grow (which I do not own) before putting them back in the fridge. I found Zetsu in his garden and quietly snuck out one of his "children", I then planted the said child in Hidan's cloak with weed killer before going back to Zetsu to inform him that Hidan was trying to murder his child. I watched happily as Hidan, who remembered what I said earlier about the whole "Zetsu wants to eat you" thing was running from Zetsu thinking he was trying to eat him, while Zetsu thought Hidan was trying to kill his precious child and was attempting to protect it like a good father would. I got bored of their little game of tag and left the room.

I found Tobi next and ended up ripping off his mask and taking pictures before running into a random room, which happened to have Deidara sleeping in it. I grinned as I took out the string and needle I had snatched from Kakuzu's room and stitched Deidara's mouths that were on his hands up. Screaming could be heard throughout the lair as Konan rushed to her room to calm down. There was only one person left to torture… Itachi!

That night I snuck into Itachi's room, and as carefully as I could, taped the sides of his mouth so it looked like he was smiling, then I went into his bathroom and taking a bottle of glue, poured it into his shampoo bottle, while placing hair dye into his conditioner bottle, what, you don't think he uses conditioner? HAVE YOU SEEN HIS HAIR?! It's nicer than most girl's hair, so he uses conditioner, okay? Alright? I then put a glass of warm water next to his bed and put his fingers in it. Anyway, I than tip-toed out of the room and fled to mine as fast as possible.

After laughing my head off I waited till I was perfectly calm and walked out of my room and I found Hidan and told him that Kakuzu had his scythe now and his next test would be how long he could stand next to Kakuzu's head and watch him without making a sound.

I then walked to Itachi's room and waited patiently for him to leave the room.

That morning he walked out of his room, looking pissed, but the tape still on his face.

"Aw, widdle-Itachi is happy!" I said and snapped a photo before looking down "And he had his first wet dream!" I said as I snapped more pictures, temporarily blinding him as I ran to my room and promptly fell asleep as soon as I hit the mattress.

After waking up hours later I exited the room and was ushered to Pein. He sighed when he saw me and gestured to sit down.

"I have decided, after many complaints from the other members, to take you with me to Amegakure, once there you will help me with legal matters and such from there" I looked at him as if he were issuing out my list of torture, which in fact he was, and I am sure he knew that too. "On another note, did you finish your jutsu?"

"Yes Pein-sama" I said

"Show it to me" He said and I stood up and became millions of pieces of paper as Pein looked at me in awe.

(A/N: Idea for the "cannibal" incident: Tatsumi-Kuro (Quizilla), I used seaweed instead of seafood though, whatever

Idea for Kisame's room from: Tatsumi-Kuro (Quizilla),

Idea for Deidara's room: AikoChan16 (Quizilla)

Idea for ramen: OmgItsCHEEZ

Idea for glue in shampoo bottle: someone, can't find it now though.. -.-

Idea for tape on the face and saying: OmgItsCHEEZ (Quizilla)

Idea for Deidara imitation and play-dough, and KATSU by: AikoChan16 (Quizilla)

Idea for Hidan's torture: MidnightWaters16 (Quizilla)

Idea for the cloak changes: Rena7 (I however came up with the ponies and fairy idea though) (Quizilla)

Idea for the Kakuzu torture, and the whole "rape" thing: Me

Idea for Zetsu's Torture: Me

Idea for Hidan's chase and test with Kakuzu: me

Idea for the wet dream: Gaara's Pyro RACCOON (fanfiction)

Thanks for the ideas, and for all the ones that say Quizilla, I had gotten their ideas from a list of ways to annoy the Akatsuki, and am just giving credit where credit is due)