"Where's Sab?" I asked, walking into the living room. "He went outside." Elliot said. "And left Anan here? He's supposed to watch her!" I snapped.
"She's sleeping." Elliot pointed to the cradle that sat in the middle of the living room. "Why is he outside? It's almost dark." I growled.
Once outside, I found Sebastian in the backyard, practicing swinging his bat. "What the fuck are you doing out here?" I snapped.
"I'm practicing my swing. I want to join the baseball team."
"You have fucking responsibilities. You're supposed to watch your sister. Get back in the house." I walked towards him.
"You hurt mom." He whispered.
"Shut up, your mom's fine." I muttered. "No she's not! She's bleeding and she's hurt!" He yelled. I chuckled, "Dude, calm-"
I was cut off, however, when he swung the wooden bat at my head. "Ow!" I cried out, falling down, "What the fuck?!" I cradled my head and tried to stand up, but he keeps hitting me. My legs, my stomach, my crotch, everywhere. "Don't fuck with me, dad."0
"You're-You're fucking crazy…" I stammered. Everytime I tried to stand up, he'd hit me legs.
"You're right. I am crazy. Guess why? Genes! I inherited it from you except it must've skipped a generation, 'cause mom isn't crazy! I got your crazy and whatevers on mom's side! I'm not just crazy, I'm insane."
His words were so true, but I tried to reason with him, "Okay. Okay, I'm sorry. I can get you help, Sab. Just stop, please. Please don't kill me."
"Kill you? I'd never kill my own dad. I'm not like you."
"What? What are you-"
"Maybe if you were there for your dad he would still be around. Maybe if you didn't abandon him to come to New York and beat your wife, he'd be fine and not dead!"
"What the hell is wrong with you?!" I screamed
"Ya know what it is? I know when I was born...what was done to make me wasn't...consensual. Maybe that;s why. Because you did that to Clar-er, I mean mom, I got the bad seed and it's really all your fault. You're the reason that I'm insane, grandpa's dead, mom's always scared and why Elliot's is apparently so violent. According to his teacher."
"I'll get you help…" I promise. He'd stop swinging the bat 30 seconds ago, and had propped it against the house.
"No thank you. Let's just go back inside now and not tell anybody about this. Okay, dad?"
I nodded, struggling to stand up. I had an awful limp as we walked up the stairs, "Come here, Sab, I have to give you something." I beckoned him into the bedroom.
Without wasting a second, I slapped him across the face, sending him to the ground. "Don't fuck with me, Sab."
I wrapped my hand around his throat and pinned him to the wall, holding him a few inches above the ground. "Don't fucking think you can take me. I'll fucking kill you. One day, a knife in your back, a bullet to your head or a poison in your food."
I brought my knee up to his crotch, several times, harder and harder. "This isn't over." I muttered, dragging him to the hall, and shoving him against the wall. Elliott looked up, gasping, "Sab-"
"This is why you don't disbehave, huh, Sab?" He nodded and ran into his room. "Go keep him company." I said. Elliott didn't move, "Go!"
I walked into the living room and picked up Anna, "Hey, little girl." I whispered. "You're the only thing that makes mommy smile."
I think I'd broken Clare. She only smiled when she held Anna and, even then, it seemed to pain her to be happy.
I had cut down on the abuse a lot in the past few years. I didn't hit Clare hard enough to make her faint or pass out. Nor did I rape her. We had sex, but you could hardly call it rape.
She didn't fight back anymore but she didn't exactly comply. She kind of just...submitted. She would only lay there, under me, with her head turned to the side and her eyes clenched shut. She always had a pained expression on but didn't bother to resist. It was like fucking a dead body.
Sometimes, I'd tell her to wrap her legs around me and say my name, but she never did. I think she pretended she was somewhere else, doing something else, and if she did anything to participate, it'd bring her back to reality.
I don't think she could handle that.
It irked me sometimes, though, that she didn't even pretend to enjoy it. When I got too upset, I'd say cruel or just disturbing things into her ear.
"God, Clare, you're so tight. I fuck you every night, but you never change."
"Do you like that, you slut? I bet you do?"
And when I was done, I'd get off, and try to cuddle her, but usually she just shrugged me away and faced the other way. She tried to conceal her tears, and I'm sure she thought I couldn't hear them, but I always did.
"I wish I could make mommy smile. You're so good at making her happy." I smiled and put my thumb in her hands. She wrapped her fingers around it.
"Eli?"
I stood up, placing Anna in the cradle, and walked over to Clare, who had stepped out of the bath, only wrapped in a towel.
"It's really swollen, Eli, and it's full of pus, you need to take me to the hospital, Eli, it hurts so bad." She was both sobbing and hyperventilating.
"Clare, you'll be fine. All wound heal over time." I led her back into the bathroom, "Sit down, I'll take care of it."
After unwrapping the towel from her, I placed gauze over the wound and wrapped new ace bandages around her chest. "You'll be okay, you know. I'll take care of you.'
"You're not a doctor...you can't take care of the kids and me." I kissed her forehead, "Helen can take care of the kids for a little while. I'll call her."
She nodded, letting me go out of the bathroom. It took Jake less than 15 seconds to answer, "Hello?"
"Hey, Helen, it's Eli. Uhh, so, Clare hasn't been feeling well and I was hoping you could take care of the kids for a few days."
"Why don't I just take care of Clare?"
"Because she's my wife and I want to take care of her."
"The way that you treat her is horrible!" She snapped into the phone.
"I treat her fine, He-"
"You hit her! You hit my daughter!" I sighed, "I have anger issues, I know, but they're under control now. Can you just watch the kids, Helen. Please?"
"...Fine. Fine, just...bring them over."