(Jeremie's POV)

She didn't want me. She really didn't. While I had to admit I did attempt to break them apart, I didn't mean to hurt her. I didn't mean to lose her. She was mine. I found her, I put everything I had into taking care of her. I couldn't take it. I could feel my heart breaking. I sat in the floor of the hospital bathroom, trying to contain my emotions. She made her decision. "Aelita…" I couldn't hold it in. I felt like I was going to be sick.

The door opened and Odd walked in. "Jeremie?"

"I can't do it Odd," I sobbed, finally breaking. "I can't live without her. First she chose Ulrich over me and she keeps getting worse."

"She's okay though." He sat down next to me.

"I need her!" I buried my face in my hands. "When I think of my future, I think of her, and now I don't even know."

"Jeremie, calm down!" Odd almost had to yell so I could hear him. "It's a high school relationship. They don't last."

I shook my head. "What if it does? What if she never chooses me?"

Odd sighed. "Jeremie, you have to be positive. I can't cheer you up if you're going to be like this."

"What am I supposed to do though? She ch-chose him!"

"Let's just go back to the school. Get you away from here for a little bit." He helped me to my feet, pushing me towards the exit. "Come on, Einstein. Who knows, maybe you can hook up with Yumi."

My mind wandered to Yumi, considering it for a second, but I quickly pushed the thought away.

Codelyokocodelyokocodelyoko

I stared at the blade in my hand. I never considered suicide before, but it had been two weeks. Ulrich and Aelita were closer than ever, and I was cast aside like I had never existed. I didn't want to punish anyone. I didn't want to draw attention to myself. I just wanted to stop hurting. Pictures of Aelita and my friends lay strewn across the floor, everyone smiling at me, convincing me that this was the wrong choice.

I hadn't gone to class in a week. I tried to go on with life, but it just wasn't working for me. Odd was the only one that still spoke to me, when he wasn't at the hospital or class. I was glad he cared, but I didn't want him around. There has to be another way.

I pulled out my phone, making up my mind. I dialed Dad's number, hoping he could cheer me up. "Hello?" he answered.

"Hey Dad," I greeted, almost choking on my words.

"Jeremie! How have you been, kiddo? Everything okay?"

"Yeah, they're great. My grades are good, everything is fine."

"What about your friends? What about Aelita?" he asked. He was fond of Aelita, enjoying her frequent stays at the house.

"She's doing better." I didn't want to talk about Aelita. "How's Mom?"

"She's great! In fact, we have some amazing news. We're gonna have another baby."

My heart skipped a beat. Here I was, ready to kill myself, and my parents were having another child. Perfect timing, Dad, I thought bitterly. "That's great!" I replied when I realized I was taking too long to respond. "When is it due?"

"Some time in August."

"That's good…"

"Everything okay, Son?" Dad could tell something was up. He was always able to pick up on things like that. I didn't understand why I never talked to him as often, I liked my parents. They were perfect.

"Yeah," I answered. "I have to go. Tell Mom I said 'hi'. I love you guys."

"Love you too, Son," Dad replied affectionately. "I'll talk to you later."

I hung up the phone. Mom wouldn't understand. I pulled open the drawer beneath my bed, scooping up the photos and putting them away. I grabbed my notebook and a pen, scribbling the first words that came to mind. I didn't want to drag things out. Leaving some long book as my last words would just be punishment to whoever read it.

I just can't take it. I love her, and I want her to be happy, but I won't stand back and watch from the sidelines. I messed up. My friends are the greatest people I ever met. I don't know what Kadic would've been without them. I always felt alone, like an outcast. Lately, it seems like I've lost my friends, whether by my own fault or theirs. But I won't go back to being the nerdy kid who did nothing but study. Mom, Dad, I love you guys so much. You gave me everything. None of this is your fault. Odd, you've been closest to me these last few weeks. Thank you for that. Yumi, I'm so sorry for what has happened. You've been like a sister to me, I know you're strong, you'll be able to get past this and grow up to be someone amazing. Ulrich and Aelita, I'm sorry for trying to break you guys apart. I never meant any harm. I hope things work out for you guys. Aelita, I really hope you fight this cancer. You deserve a long life. Thank you for giving me some of the happiest years of my life. I love all you guys. Never forget what brought us together, then maybe you'll never drift apart. We had some fun times, even though sometimes things seemed impossible, we made it through.

I stared at the note. It seemed incomplete, but I couldn't think of anything else to add. Maybe that was the way it was supposed to be. Incomplete. Just like my life. I sighed, setting the notebook on my bed and picking up the blade again. The light reflected off it, hitting me in the eye. I wasn't crying. I wasn't scared. I didn't feel anything. I put the blade to my wrist and closed my eyes, ready for it. I knew it would hurt. I'd probably feel cold before it would take me. But it was all okay with me. I was ready.

There was a knock at the door.