Author's note: Hey everyone! I am truly, truly sorry this has taken so long. I never meant to leave you all hanging like that on this story. Real life has been seriously busy these past months with work and health issues then more work and more health issues. Plus, I really struggled with this chapter for some reason. Damon, Elena and I were having some arguments on how to get from point A to B in this one. But I think we're all on the same page now so ... I hope you enjoy our compromise. :)
Again, I'm sorry it took so long. I hope this makes up for the wait.
Enjoy! Let me know what you think! I write faster with encouragement! :)
Chapter 14
Damon Salvatore was no stranger to passion.
He'd known it in many ways. He'd felt the thrill of the hunt. The dizzying victory of the conquest. The rush of letting go. Of being swept up into something larger than himself. Something wild and uncontrollable. Primal and profound.
He'd felt it in many forms. In tangible things and fleeting moments. In impulsive, knee-jerk reactions and deliberately planned schemes. In thoughts and feelings. In flesh and blood.
He'd tasted it with many women. Some had been lightening-strike attractions that led to instant gratification and ended without a word. Some had lasted longer than a night, morphing into a give-and-take companionship. One had endured for nearly a century and a half.
No, Damon and passion were no strangers.
It had conquered him many times. And he, in turn, had lived his life on the edge of it even more than that.
But this kiss? This kiss took him over that edge and made him its willing slave. Because this kiss held more passion than the sum of his lifetime had ever known.
For a split second, he was paralyzed. With doubt. With fear. With the impossibility of it all.
But only for a second.
One breath. One whimper. One shudder of surrender.
And Damon Salvatore sank into Elena like she was his favorite storm.
Fantastic colors exploded behind tightly closed eyes as Elena's bold, fierce kiss rocked him to his core. Like lightening striking. He was being split in two and singed along the edges of everything he was. The taste of her was seared into his memory. The feel of her soft body pressed against him sank into his skin and melted into his bones.
Her lips on his would have been enough to alter his life forever, but when her heated fingers slipped from his face and dove into his hair as her tongue brushed the seam of his lips, he was swept up into a whirlwind of impossible possibilities. Where fear was snuffed out like the flame of a candle. Where hopeless dreams came roaring to life. Where hard reality didn't exist.
Only her. Only him. Only the insanely perfect world they were creating, one fevered caress at a time.
He didn't try to reason or understand why Elena was kissing him as if the world were going to end. He forgot he had a brother. He didn't care that her humanity alone already doomed them to an inevitable good-bye. An electrifying intensity whipped around them, between them, inside of them, forcing them together like two undeniably destined magnets. Senses reeling, Damon's entire body raged with need as he eagerly race into the center of the storm again and again.
And again.
The moment their lips touched, Elena Gilbert knew she'd never been kissed.
Not like this. Not by anyone. Not ever.
Elena's felt as if her lips, her skin, her entire body, were on fire. Intense, pulsating, scorching fire. And God help her, she relished the burn. She reveled in it. Fueled it. Coursing with explosive energy, sensations were on overload. Doubling her relentless pursuit of the tangy sweetness of his mouth, Elena knew exactly where she wanted to live and breathe the rest of her life - in the depths of a Damon Salvatore kiss. A kiss that prodded and penetrated so deep that she felt her entire soul being found, crushed then put back together again more whole than it had ever been unbroken.
How long had she wanted this? Needed this? How long had this hunger been gnawing at her soul? Forever, it seemed. There was an empty space inside of her that had always been there. Had always been longing. Had always been waiting. For this moment. For this kiss.
For Damon.
She just hadn't known it before. Or maybe she had and the knowing had paralyzed her into denial. Into resistance. Into settling for less and claiming it was all she'd ever wanted.
Never again would she deny this. Never again would she pretend this fire between them didn't exist. She couldn't if she tried. She was consumed now. Branded as his.
Always and forever his.
Only the need for air ended the kiss. Elena leaned her forehead against his, her breathing labored, her admission a giddy, tremulous whisper. "God, I've wanted to do that for so much longer than I could ever admit..."
"I've wanted it even longer than that." Just as breathless, Damon's responded against a pair of swollen lips that hovered dangerously close to his.
"Damon, I..."
"Tell me this isn't real."
Elena's heart stopped. She pulled back to look into Damon's fragile expression.
"What?"
Eyes squeezed shut, he was trying to hold it together. Trying to not make a fool of himself. Again. "Tell me you're compelled and you don't know what you're doing. Tell me it's a dream that can't come true or a manipulation, some twisted trick someone's playing on me."
Ice trickled through her veins. There were so many reasons he could chose to resist this. To push her away. So many ways her own past choices could tarnish a beautiful moment and blunt their new start.
"Damon, look me."
"I can't."
"Why not?"
"Because the last time we did this, we didn't. Because I can handle you not wanting me the way I want you. So tell me you don't and walk away before it's too late."
She knew he'd been hurt before. When he believed she'd given him the gift of returning his kiss only to find out he'd been tricked. Manipulated. Used as a pawn in one of Katherine's twisted games. Yes, she knew he'd been hurt. That much had been clear the night he came to her, upset and unstable, demanding she face the truth. The night he lashed out and did the unthinkable.
She cringed now to think of what she'd said and done at the time. Instead of easing his pain, she'd piled on. She'd taunted him with her denials. She'd pushed all his buttons by making him believe that everything between them was only a figment of his imagination. And that nothing more than friendship could ever exist between them.
Nothing had been further from the truth.
No, the truth was she'd been terrified. He could already see through her. Had been able to for so very long. One kiss, and she risked him knowing her completely. And that was something Elena Gilbert wasn't ready for.
Then.
But now she was.
"And if I can't do that? How will you handle it then?"
He was wrestling with the answer. She could see that clearly in his expression. In response to his silent struggle, Elena gently took his hands in hers. "You've always been the brave one, Damon. Be brave again and take a chance on me. Just this once. Please. Open your eyes."
For a moment the air around them grew unearthly still. For a moment, the universe came to a halt and held it's collective breath. For a moment, even the stars refused to twinkle. Then the soft flutter of long, dark lashes and the inevitable blue of his eyes filled her vision.
And the universe began to breathe again.
"Elena, I..."
"You're scared." Elena surmised softly. "I don't blame you. I've given you reason to be. And that's why you wanted me to say those things, isn't it?"
The slight nod was enough to break her heart. His averted gaze, did. "I've never been here before. I'm not the guy that gets what he wants, Elena. I've never been that guy. I don't know how to be."
A modicum of relief swept through her. A smile flared in her eyes and filtered into her expression. "Well, then..." She pressed herself into him, her gaze fastened to his lips. "...I guess that's just something we're going to have to work on, isn't it?"
For Damon, some semblance of reason began to return. Everything that kiss erased came rushing back with a vengeance. Stefan. His brother, her love. All of the times he'd watched them together. All the times he had tasted her censure, felt her disapproval. All of the ways he'd been compared to the impossible and had been found lacking.
He couldn't go there again. He wouldn't.
Because, after all, there's only so much a man can take.
Damon pulled back. "Elena, I'm serious."
"So am I..."
Her lips barely brushed his. This time, Damon didn't yield. It took all of his willpower, but somehow he managed to unhook her arms from around his neck and took a determined step back. His questioning gaze met hers.
"What are we doing?"
"Getting you used to getting what you want." She stubbornly reached out for him only to have the distance between them grow.
"Elena..."
The warning in his voice made her shiver. Not from fear, or doubts or hurt. She thrilled to the challenge underpinning his protest and savored the push and pull that was intrinsically them. Something deep inside of her clicked into place. That piece that had been missing in all of her other relationships. That friction, that spark that set everything ablaze. That familiarity that she could nestle into and call home.
Kissing him had been a risk. With everything that had happened between them and all that hadn't, with every word they'd said to each other and all that remained unspoken, Damon's reaction was as unpredictable as the vampire himself. He could have pushed her away. He could have held onto her and never let go. He could have flipped the switch on his emotions and slipped back into the darkness she was just beginning to understand.
Instead, he was still standing there. Cautious, yes. But still there. Still open and willing to be won.
She readied herself with the answers waiting at the end of the questions standing between them, then denied his very request with the truth. "Damon, I'm not going to tell you what you want to hear because it would be a lie. And I've lied to you, to myself, to everyone long enough."
"What lie?"
"You already know."
"Well, maybe I need to hear it."
"Then say it."
She wasn't being cruel. He knew that. Her challenge was a test of sorts. A way to see how many of her denials had actually gotten through to him and buried themselves so deep in his heart that he was now having trouble accepting this twist in their tale. She was daring him to challenge her. Begging for a chance to answer each and every accusation he could lay at her feet.
And he was begging for the chance to be convinced.
"Alright." His shoulders squared unconsciously, gathered his courage and dove into the challenge. "There's nothing between us."
Elena didn't hesitate. Or pause to form and answer. After all, that was one of the first lies she herself had to face.
"There's been something between us since the day we met and you know it. A connection, Damon. An understanding...an attraction. It's been so intense sometimes, it terrified me. So I tried to deny it. I tried to walk away. I even tried hating you out of my system, but Damon..." Her sigh was one of defeat wrapped in triumph. "...I can't. I never could, and I never will."
He parried her explanation with a nonchalant shrug. "But you wouldn't walk away from any of your friends. And after all, that is all we are, right? Just friends?"
She bit back an amused smile and hitched a knowing eyebrow. "I stopped being just your friend at least five weeks ago. Given how strongly I felt when I realized that, I suspect I haven't been 'just your friend' for a while now. Besides..." A coy smile played on her lips as her gaze dropped to a pair of lips she could still feel against hers, even removed by time and distance. "...that kiss just now? Last time I checked, friends don't kiss like that."
There was a crack in his stalwart expression, a flare of warmth in his eyes. "You were so sure you'd never kiss me back."
"It's easy to be sure of things when your head is in the sand and your eyes are closed to the truth. Which, I must admit, mine have been for quite a while now. But not any more."
"No?" There was hope in his doubt.
Elena shook her head. "No." With each answer she was closing the distance she'd put between them. But she still had a ways to go. She tried another tact. "But...if that's not enough for you and a demonstration is in order..." A suggestive smile played on her lips. "...I'm more than willing to..."
"It'll always be Stefan."
And there it was. The crux of the matter. The wall that had always been between them. The doubts so clearly expressed in his eyes. The hurt etched in his expression.
The smile faded from Elena's face. She took a slow step toward Damon then paused to gauge his reaction. He tensed, and held his breath. But he didn't move away. She took another step. And another until she was just a whisper away.
As she gazed up into his eyes, she willed him to feel the sincerity of her heartfelt words.
"Maybe for the girl I used to be, that was true. But she's no longer here."
"Then who is?" His question was so soft, she barely heard it.
Slowly, deliberately taking his face in her hands, Elena's gentle words became a plea. To be believed. To be trusted. "The Elena you brought to life. Everything has changed, Damon. Everything.This is nothing like the last time. Or the past year for that matter. This is me. This is real, and it's not going away. All you have to do is believe it."
"And if I don't?"
He wanted to so badly. She could see it in his eyes. She could feel it in the way he gravitated toward her.
"If after everything that's happened, all that you know and everything you've felt, if you still don't believe me...well then...you're an ass."
Elena's unexpected reply was delivered with a nonchalant shrug and a playful wink.
Laughter exploded in Damon's eyes and crumbled his expression. He should have known she'd be able to see right through him. To cut through the facade and own the heart that had been hers longer than either had known. He bit back a chuckle. "I thought you were done lying."
"Ohhh, Damon, that one's never been a lie." Elena replied flippantly as she grinned up at him, the thrill of victory surging through her.
Damon smirked. "Good. I wouldn't want you to start thinking I'm a saint."
"Believe me, there's no chance of that." Her gaze caressed his features as her smile gentled. "I know exactly who you are, Damon Salvatore. You've never hidden yourself from me. And you've always told me the truth, even when I didn't want to hear it." Her smile deepened. "You know, I'm not sure I would have realized that if you hadn't almost died. If you hadn't left. So...thank you for that."
"I take it I'm forgiven then?"
"On one condition."
Damon's exaggerated sigh was accompanied with a roll of his eyes. "You and your conditions. I already stayed alive for you. What more could you possibly want?"
There was silence. Then, there was the unexpected.
"Your forgiveness."
"My..." Stunned, Damon's eyes narrowed. "What for?"
"I've been so wrong, about so many things. Life, love. Me, us...but mostly..." Her hands dropped to his chest. To his heart. To the part of him she'd underestimated the most. "I've been wrong about...you."
"Elena..."
Staving off his protest, Elena rushed into her confession. "I've blamed you and misjudged you too many times to count. I haven't listened to the words you couldn't say or understood the motives you couldn't explain. I've watched you, Damon, but I haven't seen. And if I had, if I'd just taken the time..."
"Elena, stop." Damon placed a gentle finger against her lips. "You did." A smile ghosted his lips and warmed his eyes. "Don't you get it? You were the only one who did. You saw beyond who I was to who I could be and found something in me worth saving. So, thank you for that."
"So, I take it I'm forgiven then?" Repeating his question from before, Elena's voice broke as a sheen of tears brightened her eyes.
"Before you even asked." Damon answered gently.
The smile she gave him in response was radiant. In fact, she was radiant. In all the time they'd spent together, in all the ways he'd seen her, he'd never seen her shine so brightly or glow so warmly.
He did that to her. It was a fact now. Not just a dream or a hope. But a living, breathing example of how a simple word from him could delight her. Move her. Transform her.
Which brought on other facts. Troubling facts with troubling consequences.
Uncertainty filtered through his gaze. "Elena, about this, about us...I'm not sure we should..."
A stubborn shake of her head and a defiant tilt of her chin indicated she'd been prepared for this. "If you're going to tell me we can't be together, that this will never work just...don't. Not tonight. I'll listen to all of your arguments, all of your reasons tomorrow. But tonight, Damon...I just got you back. I need to be with you. Don't run away from this. Please."
"And what is this?" Damon questioned softly, his heart open and bare. "I didn't lie to you. I felt it, just like you did. And that kiss..." He blew out a sigh. "You're right. Friends don't kiss like that. But I don't know what it all means. Do you?" Cupping her face in his hands, Damon's penetrating gaze sought her understanding. "I'm not trying to hurt you, Elena, and I'm not trying to run away, but when I left five weeks ago you were...his."
"And now I'm not. Damon, Stefan and I are over." She paused a moment to let that sink in. "Look, I know this is a lot, and that I've done a 180 on you. I'm sure you have a lot of questions. So much has happened that I want to share with you, and I promise I will. I'll tell you everything..."
"But?"
"But for now, can we just..."
"Trust this? Not even knowing where it's going or how long it will last?"
"Yeah." Elena whispered with a nod of her head. "I know I can. But can you?"
"I don't know." Damon answered honestly. A smile touched his lips as his gaze lowered to hers. "But I sure would like to try."
"Well, then..." A coy smile curved her lips as her hungry gaze dropped to his lips, the invitation obvious. "...try."
Damon didn't hesitate.
This time the kiss was achingly slow and tantalizingly sweet.
So sweet it made her heart weep. So slow, she felt as if she were being savored. Worshipped. Coaxed. Drawn into something larger than herself. Something deep and profound. Something true. Pure. Real.
And for a moment the air around them grew unearthly still. For a moment, the universe came to a halt and held it's collective breath. For a moment, the moon's soft glow embraced them and the stars exploded in silent celebration.
For a moment, two souls stood still, facing each other. Naked, raw emotion whipped around them as a shimmering cord, as delicate as gossamer and as strong as a steel, extended from one heart to the other...
A loud, slow clap broke the spell around them. Then another. And another.
"Well, well, well. What a touching reunion."
Startled, Elena and Damon broke apart and turned toward the intruder.
"Stefan."
"Hello, brother." Stefan responded with a tight smile. "I hope you enjoyed yourself. I really do." Standing in front of them, Stefan's haughty gaze switched from one to the other then back again. "Because if you think this is going to last, well..." His harsh chuckle was harsh and jarring in the stillness of the night. "...let's just say you couldn't be more wrong."
tbc...