Todd Randall pulled into his driveway at half past six that Monday afternoon, his head aching and his stomach roiling with nerves. All day, he had been back and forth on the subject of telling Linka about the adoption...provided Karen agreed, which was not a foregone conclusion. Part of him was afraid of disrupting Linka's life and possibly creating a situation where she might question their love for her, but another part agreed with Lynn Loud – she needed a sibling, and long had.
He killed the engine and got out, shutting the door behind him. The light was soft and purple as he crossed to the porch, already loosening his tie. Inside, it was uncomfortably warm; Karen loathed the cold, and they had discussed moving to Florida once Linka was on her own. He personally didn't like the idea – growing up his family vacationed in Florida every summer, and the heat was nearly unbearable. Karen was in the kitchen preparing dinner when he walked in. "Hey, honey," she said.
"Hi," he replied, going to her and kissing the back of her neck. "Where's Linka?"
"She's having dinner with that Kristy Evans girl from school."
"That's nice," he said, then: "She's been lonely."
"I know," Karen sighed. "I feel awful about the other night."
"Don't," he said. He started to tell her about Lynn Loud's visit, but decided to wait. In the living room, he made himself a gin and tonic at the bar and drank it slowly. On TV, Rachel Maddow was talking about the Las Vegas shooting. He dropped into an armchair and crossed his legs. He stared at the TV but nothing that was said registered; his mind was on Linka, his heart throbbing with a mixture of love and anxiety. He did not lie when he told Lynn Loud that she was sensitive, but perhaps he was embellishing. She was a bright girl and resilient. It wouldn't be exactly easy on her, but he had the utmost faith that she would manage and, eventually, flourish...especially with a loving brother at her side.
Karen leaned in from the kitchen. "It's ready."
He drained the rest of his gin, sat the glass on the bar, and went into the kitchen, where he sat at the table. Karen sat across from him, and they ate in relative silence, both missing Linka's presence; everything was much brighter when she was around, and when she wasn't, they were that much darker.
"Any frequent fliers today?" Karen asked.
"No," Todd replied, "although I think I have a few turning into those. Second and third time visits."
Forks scraped against glass. The clock on the wall ticked maddeningly. "How was your day?" he asked, lifting a bite to his mouth.
Karen sighed. "Taxing," she said. "It's days like today that I wish I was a housewife."
"You can always retire," he said around a mouthful of lamb, "we can afford it."
She bobbed her head uncertainly back and forth. "I know...I just don't want to give up my career like that. I'm tempted, though."
Todd nodded. He understood completely. They had been married for nearly twenty years, and she spent over half of that time going to school for child psychology. She was a determined woman, and after putting so much time, effort, and money into her career, she was not keen on the idea of quitting; her perseverance was one of the many things he admired about her. "I'm sure Linka would appreciate it. Or having a sibling."
Karen sighed. "I know, but neither of us have time for another baby." She stared down at her plate and pushed a wad of mashed potatoes back and forth.
They finished their dinner in silence, the atmosphere heavy between them. When they were done, they tag-teamed the dishes, her washing and him drying. He stole a sidelong glance at her, and ascertained that his comment had affected her. He regretted bringing it up because it hurt her, but he was glad that he did because maybe it would sway her when he told her about Lynn's visit.
In the living room, Todd made himself another drink. "Do you want one?" he asked over his shoulder as Karen came over.
"Yes," she said.
He took a second glass from the cabinet, uncapped the decanter, and poured. She was standing next to him now, her shoulder pressed against his in a show of simple affection. He pushed her glass aside, and sat a photograph next to it.
"What's this?" she asked, taking the glass in one hand and the picture in the other. When she saw it, her eyes widened. Her head whipped up and she stared at him as though she had seen a ghost.
Todd took a long drink and sighed. "His father came into the office today," he said heavily. "He accidentally found out about the adoption, and they told him about Linka. He wants to meet her."
Karen's face went white, and her eyes flicked back to the snapshot. For the briefest of moments, she thought it was of Linka, then when she realized who it actually depicted, the air left her lungs in a whoosh. Lincoln Loud...adopted eleven years ago by Lynn and Rita Loud. She remembered their names clearly, because for nearly half an hour she and Todd stood at the glass, saying their final goodbyes to the son they almost had, each one committing every minute detail to memory.
Her husband's words penetrated the fog in her brain, and she shook her head as she grasped for words. "That means we'd have to t-tell her."
Todd nodded, the glass clutched tightly in his hand. Ice cubes clinked. "It does," he confirmed, his eyes unable to meet hers.
"We can't do that," she said. "It would...it would be disastrous to Linka's emotional development."
"Would it?" he asked pointedly. "She's not a Faberge egg, Karen. I think...I think we've treated her like one, but she's a child. A child who's lonely more often than she's not."
Karen shook her head. "We don't treat her that way. She's..."
Todd cut her off. "Sensitive and well-adjusted. I know. I told Lynn Loud the same thing this afternoon. And she is...she's also not weak. She's going to have to find out eventually, and why not now when she has a brother a half an hour away who wants a relationship with her? I think having him will soften the blow. Better to get it out of the way now."
Karen took a deep breath. He was right about Linka being lonely, and more times than she could count over the years, she found herself watching her daughter playing alone and thought If only we had Lincoln, too. Linka's mental and emotional wellbeing was what was really important, though, and finding out that she was adopted would throw her life into turmoil. She realized that she (and Todd as well) had the tendency to coddle their daughter, but this wasn't coddling, it was protecting.
Right?
And it was her duty as a mother to protect her daughter.
She wore this on her face as clearly as she wore her lipstick, and someone who had shared his life with her for two decades would be able to see it plainly. "Keeping her in the dark would be keeping her away from her brother, and I think she may very well need a brother more than she needs a charmed life."
Karen lifted the glass to her lips and drained it. "I-I'm afraid of what it will do to her," she admitted.
Todd put his arms around her and drew her close. "I know. But you know just as well as I do – better, even – that she can handle this. It'll be an adjustment but, in time, you'll see that it was the right decision."
For a long time Karen silently processed his words, weighing the pros and cons of telling Linka that she was adopted. She had a moment of self-realization: For years she had been telling herself that telling her would be disastrous to her emotional development – the same thing she just told her husband moments ago – but she did it not out of concern for Linka...she did it out of concern for herself. She loved her daughter, and the thought of somehow losing her filled her with terror...the thought of her suffering even one moment of pain after what she had already endured made her stomach turn.
But wasn't she in pain now? In a way?
Finally, she nodded, hesitantly, against her husband's chest and sighed deeply. "Alright. When should we tell her?"
Todd sighed. "When she gets home."
Karen's stomach turned. She was hoping for a day, or two, or even a week, before having to face her daughter with the news, but that was only delaying the inevitable. "Okay," she said.
Linka Randall climbed out of Kristy's mother's minivan, grabbed her backpack, and threw it over her shoulder. "Bye, Link!" Kristy said, leaning out and fixing her with half-lidded eyes. "Try not to explode into a million pieces!"
Linka laughed. "I'll try. Bye, Mrs. Evans."
"Bye," Kristy's mother said from behind the wheel. Linka pulled the sliding door closed and started across the driveway. Were her feet touching the ground? She didn't think they were. She fisted her hands in excitement and fought back a loud squeal of delight. In all her years (which admittedly weren't many), she had never been as happy as she was right now...it was a spacy, light-headed sensation that filled her as surely as the music filled her when she played violin, only this was much, much better.
Kyle Mountcastle asked her to the dance...he actually asked her, Linka Margret Randall, the girl with the chipped teeth and white hair! She still couldn't believe it. It happened during recess...recess at Ridgewood Academy being the half hour after lunch where kids were free to roam the grounds, catch up on homework, or sit in the shade of a tree and read. She was standing by the main stairs with Kristy and Kayla, leaning against the wall and lost in recounting her morning when Kristy's eyes darted away and she smiled. "Oh, hi, Kyle."
Linka's heart came to a crashing halt and her eyes went wide.
"Hey," he said nervously. He was right next to her, but she didn't have the courage to look him in the eyes. "Uh...c-can I talk to you, Linka?"
Linka's entire body clamped up. He wants to talk to me? She glanced up at him, and his face was red. It was chilly out, she told herself.
"We'll leave you two alone," Kristy said with a knowing smile. She grabbed Kayla by the arm and pulled her away.
Kyle laughed and looked down at his shoes. He was so cute that Linka could barely suppress a giggle. "I, uh, I was wondering, you know..." he trailed off and rubbed the back of his neck. "I told myself I wasn't going to spaz out," he tittered. His eyes locked with hers, and her heart pounded. "I was wondering if you wanted to go to the dance." He touched his chest and hurriedly added, "With me."
All Linka could do was smile and nod with a tiny, "Umhm."
He smiled widely. "Really?"
She nodded again. This time she managed to speak. "Yeah." She smiled too.
"Great," he said, "I'll, uh, I'll talk to you later."
As soon as he was gone, Kristy and Kayla materialized from nowhere. "What did he want?" Kristy asked, grabbing Linka's hands. "Did he want what I think he wanted? Tell me he did!"
Linka grinned slyly. "He asked me to the dance."
Kristy screamed and jumped up and down. "That's so great! You guys will look so cute together."
Linka blushed. "Stop."
"You will!"
Presently, Linka opened the front door and let herself into the foyer. Almost immediately, she was struck by the tension in the atmosphere. Her parents must be disagreeing again. Feeling a twinge of apprehension, she closed the door behind her and went into the living room. Her parents were sitting on the couch, and when she came in, they both looked at her and smiled. "Hi, honey," Dad said.
"Hi," Linka said.
"When you have a moment, your father and I would like to speak to you," Mom said.
Linka blinked. Uh...that didn't sound good. We're getting a divorce, she imagined her mother saying, and something like panic gripped her chest. No, that couldn't happen. They argued from time-to-time, but all married couples do that.
Mom sensed her distress, and smiled. "It's nothing bad."
There was a slight infection on her voice, and a flash of something in her eyes, that betrayed her words.
Suddenly very nervous, Linka went into her room, dropped her backpack on the bed, and took off her blazer, which she hung on the coat rack. She loosened her tie and returned to the living room. Her mother patted a spot on the sofa between her and her father. "Come here, honey."
Linka swallowed, fear blossoming in her chest. She walked over, feeling like a woman walking down death row, and sat stiffly in-between her parents. Her mother slipped an arm around her shoulder and her father did likewise.
"I-Is everything okay?" Linka asked.
"Everything is wonderful, dear," Mom said. "We both love you very much."
Linka glanced from her mother to her father, who winked. "It's true."
"I-I love you too. I don't understand..."
Mom took a deep breath and leaned her head against Linka's. "You know how much your father and I love you, don't you?"
"Of course," Linka said. She could feel their love (and see it) every single day. Never once had she doubted her parents' feelings. She was starting to get scared. "Are you getting a divorce?"
"No, honey," Mom said. "I made a vow to put up with your father and I intend to see it through."
"Likewise," Dad said.
Mom stroked Linka's hair and kissed her cheek. "Honey...you're adopted."
Linka turned to her mother, her heart beginning to race. Did she hear her right? "W-What?"
"Eleven years ago," Mom said, "we adopted you...and we're so glad that we did, sweetie. You mean the whole world to us."
Linka could feel herself beginning to hyperventilate. Adopted? As in...Mom and Dad weren't really her parents? She took a deep breath and tried to fight down the panic rising within her.
Dad cupped his hand around the back of her neck. "You are the light of our lives, Linka," he said, "and we are beyond thankful to have you."
Linka blinked. Tears were forming in her eyes. "We were going to wait to tell you," Mom said, "but something came up, and we decided that now would be the best time."
"W-What came up?" she asked, getting control of herself.
Mom smiled at her. "You have a twin brother. And he wants to meet you."
Linka recoiled. "A-A-A brother?"
Mom nodded. "He's adopted too, and he found out by accident. His parents told him about you, and now he...he wants to see you."
Linka reeled. A brother? She had a brother?
"His name is Lincoln," Mom said. She pressed a picture into Linka's hands, and she looked at it, starting when she saw the boy. He looked just like her.
Emotion overwhelmed her then, and she started to cry. Mom and Dad both held her until the tears tapered off, which took a long time.
A twin brother.
In a flash, Linka realized that that is what she had been missing her entire life. She was lonely, yes, but she wasn't missing just anyone...she was missing her other half.
And she was suddenly very excited by the prospect of meeting him. "I-I want to see him," she said, and sniffed. "Please?"
"Of course," Mom said, and stroked her hair.
"I'll call his father and we'll set something up," Dad said.
Linka sat up and wiped the tears from her eyes. Mom rubbed her shoulder. "Are you alright?"
Linka took a deep breath and nodded. "In all honesty," she said, "it's a shock and I...I feel a little out of sorts, but...I'm really happy I have a brother." She smiled genuinely. She would never tell her parents, but there were many nights she wished, and hoped, and prayed for a brother or a sister.
"We figured you would be, honey," Mom said, "which is why we told you."
"We didn't want to," Dad said, "because we didn't want you to ever worry that we love you any less than we would if...if you were our biological child." He softly kissed her cheek. "We love you tremendously, Linka, and we are both extremely proud to call you our daughter."
Linka smiled. "I love you too, Daddy." She looked at her mother. "And you too, Mom."
Mom touched her face and smiled. "So...how was your day?"
Linka blushed. "We need to go dress shopping."
Mom's eyes lit up. "You're going to the dance?"
Linka nodded. "With Kyle Mountcastle."
"Honey, that's fantastic!" Mom cried, and hugged her.
Dad sighed and got up. "So it begins," he said. "Boys." He grabbed his glass, took it to the bar, and left it. He was happy for her nevertheless. She was a fantastic girl, and any boy she deigned to like was far more fortunate than he would ever know.
Lynn Loud Sr. had just gotten into bed when the phone on the nightstand rang, startling him so badly that he jumped. In the bathroom, something dropped to the floor, which told him that it startled Rita too.
They maintained a landline because it was bundled with their internet and cable, otherwise they would have gotten rid of it. Only important calls came through on it: The school, bill collectors, and utility companies. Lynn glanced at the clock. It was almost 9:30 in the evening, far too late for any of those.
Furrowing his brow, he picked up the handset and pressed it to his ear. "Loud residence," he said.
"Mr. Loud," a vaguely familiar voice said, "it's Todd Randall."
Lynn sat up straight. "H-Hello, Dr. Randall."
Dr. Randall sighed. "We told Linka, and she's very excited to hear she has a brother."
A smile crept across Lynn's face. "That's great. How is she taking it? Overall?"
"Well," Dr. Randall said. "Much better than either my wife or I expected. I'm sure there will be...doubts, but right now, on the surface, she seems to be completely fine."
"I'm glad to hear that," Lynn said. Rita was standing at the bathroom door now, looking at him with questioning eyes.
"I was thinking we could meet this Friday or Saturday," Dr. Randall said.
"Either day works," Lynn said quickly.
Ten minutes later, he hung up the phone. Rita was sitting next to him now, clutching her nightdress in one hand. "So...it's a go?"
"It is," Lynn said and looked at her. Earlier, he showed her the picture of Linka, and she teared up much the way he had. She looks just like Lincoln, she said. Since then, he sensed the same resurgence of loss that he had been feeling since he himself looked at the photo. Even after all these years, it hurt that she wasn't here with them. Lynn, at least, could rest assured that she was loved and happy where she was, which was good enough for him.
He swung his legs out from under the covers. "I'm going to go tell Lincoln."
Rita got up and followed him. She wouldn't miss her son's happy reaction for the world.
In the hall, Luna was shredding her guitar and Lisa was standing by her door, her hands on her hips and an angry scowl on her face. "Luna," Lynn said, "I think it's time to put the ax away."
"Alright, Dad!" she cried, jumped into the air, and landed on her knees with one final strum. At Lincoln's door, Lynn knocked.
"Yeah?"
He opened the door and poked his head in. Lincoln was lounging on his bed, a comic in his hands. He saw his father and blinked. "Hey."
"Hey," Lynn said, coming in and sitting. Rita stood by the door. "I have some good news."
Lincoln sat up straight and put the comic in his lap, his brow furrowed quizzically. Good news? He wasn't expecting news of any sort. "We found Linka."
Upon hearing those words, Lincoln's eyes lit up. "Really?" he asked excitedly.
Lynn nodded. "Yep. She lives in Detroit. A half hour away." He laid his hand on his son's leg. "I went and talked to her father today, and you're going to meet her this Friday."
He didn't think it was possible, but his son's eyes got even wider. "This Friday? Really?" He looked like a boy who had just been told Christmas was coming early, and Lynn couldn't help smile as he nodded.
"That's great!"
In fact, he was so excited that he barely slept that night...which he sorely regretted the next morning.
