Story: Somewhere Only We Know

Rating: Teen

Chapter Title: And I Need Somewhere To Begin

Author's Note: Sorry, The Mrs. Ventimiglia, but this chapter does not take off from the end of the party. It takes place on the next night. Oh, and I've decided that there WILL be a Sookie in this fic, she just won't be quite as prominent a character as in the show. That's about it. Enjoy! 

Disclaimer: I do not own Gilmore Girls, nor am I in any way affiliated with them. Chapter and story titles are taken from Somewhere Only We Know by Keane.

It was Valentine's Day, and Stars Hollow had gone pink. In fact, everything in the town square except the diner had been painted pink. The gazebo was a disgusting bubble-gum pink, balloons in every shade of pink, white and red had been strung artfully everywhere, and Taylor had taken to wearing a feathered pink and white plume on his head, and calling himself the spirit of Valentine's Day. Kirk claimed this had been his idea first, so in retaliation he wore a red and white plume, and now half of Stars Hollow paraded about wearing multicolored plumes of feathers on their heads, much to Lorelai's amusement. She herself had embodied the spirit of Valentine's Day by wearing a plain grey long sleeved shirt and jeans. Valentine's Day angered her, actually, which she figured was common for people who didn't have anyone to celebrate it with. She entered the comfortingly not pink diner with a clang and sat at the counter.

"Coffee," she said, the single word she had taken to uttering upon entering. "Large cup of coffee. Need." Luke eyed her for a minute before sliding a mug to her. "You are an angel," she murmured as she took a long sip.

"Seems that someone has gone wild with the whole Valentine's Day thing," he said sarcastically. She shrugged

"You either love it or you hate it. It's one or the other."

"Huh," he said, a grin spreading over his face. "Because I seem to remember somebody wearing – what was it? A pink dress, shoes, hair, the works, to match a certain Aimi Stockman's red." She shrugged with a grin.

"Ninth graders. Ugh, no, it's like an infection. Pink, pink, pink. I think I might vomit. And that would probably be pink."

"Lovely."

"Hey, why are you ragging on my lack of Valentine's spirit? Seems to me the diner is the only non-Pepto Bismal place in town."

"Valentine's Day," he started, clearly gearing up for a speech, "Is a commercial holiday created for the sole purpose of greeting card companies to sell more cheesy cards and singing doves and teddy bears and - " she held up a hand to stop him. "It's just stupid. Food?"

"A burger. But make it well done. Can't deal with anything else pink." He chuckled and set to work making it. "Hey, so I have to work late today because of the Valentine's fun, so is it okay if Rory stays here until ten, eleven?"

"Sure," he called back to her, "But I might conk out before then." She laughed. "When do you want to bring her over?"

"Well, she'll just come over after her playdate with Lane, if that's okay."

"Yeah, that's fine. Great."

"She's still not feeling so hot, and she's pretty tired because of her medicine."

"Okay, well, I'll keep and eye on her."

"Thanks," she said as she took a bite of the burger he placed in front of her. "Can you help me out later?" she asked. "I need to figure out which insurance company to use for Rory, because my insurance I get through work, and it's just so confusing. And we have to send a check to the hospital, too."

"Sure."

"And Rory has a checkup in a few days just to make sure she's okay. I'll bring her, it's in the middle of her school day."

"Okay."

"Just letting you know," she said. "Anyways…I should go, gotta get to work. Rory'll be over around four." She pulled out a ten dollar bill, but he waved it off as he always did on the occasions where she forgot that she and Rory didn't pay there, as strange as it seemed. "Thanks. I'll see you later."

It was late when Lorelai pulled up in front of the diner and got out of the car, cold in the February night in her dress that she'd worn to work. She peered inside the diner and saw Luke working on something at the counter. She knocked before entering, and sat down.

"What'd you do with Rory, hide her?" she asked as he set a cup of coffee in front of her. "This is decaf. I'm not stupid, Luke." He sighed and gave her another cup. "So where's Rory?"

"Asleep upstairs."

"Asleep? It's only ten."

"Well, she sleeps. Seems she got that gene from me." Lorelai smiled as she drank her coffee. "You want to go wake her up?" She nodded and they headed upstairs. Lorelai had only really seen the small apartment that Luke lived in a couple times, and each time she was shocked by the dreariness of it. Brown, everything brown, and so small! They entered quietly to see Rory curled up on Luke's bed, looking tiny even on the single mattress. Luke and Lorelai stood in the doorway looking at her for a minute, and then turned at the same time, ending up face to face in the doorway. Her eyes fell on his lips and then drifted up towards his eyes. There was a second there where her pulse raced and she was sure he was thinking what she was, but then they both stepped away hurriedly.

"Wow, she's conked out," Lorelai said, seeing Rory's chest rise and fall steadily like it always did when she was dead asleep. "I feel bad waking her up."

"She can stay here if you want," he offered. "I'll take the couch, she can have the bed." Lorelai bit her lip.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, it's fine. You go on home." She sighed. "What?" he asked, slightly amused.

"Ah…nothing."

"What?"

"I've never spent the night without her, that's all," she said with a shrug. "And she's sick…of course it's not that I don't trust you, not at all, it's just weird not being with her."

"Oh. Well…you'll be okay? Because if you want, the couch pulls out…" Her eyebrows shot up.

"No. That's okay."

"What's wrong?" he asked, noticing her flustered expression.

"I…can't share a bed with you, Luke," she said, half a laugh in her voice. He didn't respond. "It's okay, I'll go home, it's fine. I'll pick her up tomorrow."

"Hang on," he said slowly. She looked up. "Look…we can do this. Think about it like this: if we do this, then it'll be easier, won't it?" She bit her lip, thinking. "It's a big couch, Lorelai. I'll give you your own blanket, it won't be weird, I promise." She sighed. Why had she had to go and say that she was uncomfortable leaving Rory? It would be even weirder if she said that no, she couldn't do it. She had to say yes now.

"Okay," she agreed grudgingly. "I don't have pajamas or anything though."

"It's fine," he said, and tossed her a shirt and sweatpants of his. Before she put them on she went to Rory, and gently took off her shoes, leaving her in sweatpants and a turtleneck. She covered her with a blanket and kissed her forehead, and then went into the bathroom to change. She felt ridiculously exposed as she came out in his button-down flannel shirt and ever-so-soft sweatpants, and immediately lay down on the admittedly large couch, pulling her personal blanket up to her chin. "Night," he said, switching off the light.

"Good night," she said, and a small shiver ran through her as he lay down on the other side of the bed. They both lay facing away from each other at the very edge of the couch, and she was practically holding her breath. This was so weird. And so uncomfortable, and his shirt was so soft…but, despite her discomfort she eventually drifted off, because however strange it was, it was also nice, to have Luke so close, and Rory right there…but when she dreamed, all it did was make it worse.

She was fifteen again, and it was November 28th. The night replayed itself exactly as it had happened, from the party to the knock on the door, to his bedroom, to the distinct memory of a track trophy in her field of vision as her eyes opened for a moment to unbutton his shirt. She could feel his touch in her dream, she could hear each word he had said to her, verbatim.

Despite their attempts to they stayed at opposite ends of the couch, they must have rolled over in the middle of the night, because she awoke at some point to find him inches away. The creepy part was that in her dream, or memory, what have you, it had reached the part where they lay almost like this, just a few inches closer, talking in quiet voices, their hands linked, him occasionally kissing her shoulder. He was so close now that she was afraid to breath or move. He was dead asleep, though, and shifted a little every so often. She couldn't fall back asleep no matter how hard she tried; if she rolled over it would be even weirder, but if she went to sleep now and he woke up to see them this close, it would be that much weirder. So she lay there silently, stilly, for how long she didn't know. At some point – late – he shifted and his arm thrust out across her. She froze. It was almost too coincidental, but here they were, no more than an inch apart, and if she moved he'd wake up and see the way they were lying. At one point she could have sworn he was awake, because he practically sat up, but thankfully then he moved his arm and rolled over. By then, she decided she didn't care if it made things weirder, it was at least four in the morning and she had gotten all of two hours of sleep. She stood up silently and moved to the small bed where Rory slept and slid in beside her. She fell right asleep, and even though she planned to get up early and go back to the couch, she ended up sleeping until nine. She woke to the strong smell of coffee, and found that Rory was already in the kitchen area with Luke. Lorelai changed back into the clothes she'd worn the previous day and went to sit with them.

"Hey," she said, and Luke nodded in her direction.

"Hey." He set a mug of coffee in front of her.

"Thanks." She saw that Rory was done with what looked like pancakes, and so she said, "Hey, Rory, why don't you go get your things together, okay, sweetie?" Rory nodded happily and headed to gather up her things. Lorelai turned to Luke and sighed. "I'm sorry," she said. "For moving? Last night. It was just…I don't know, you moved in your sleep, and things got weird, I know you didn't mean for things to be weird but they were…weird. Sorry," she said again, looking down at her coffee.

"No, it's okay," he said after a moment, coming to sit across from her at the table. "I shouldn't have pushed that on you, should have figured you would have been uncomfortable." She sat back, slightly surprised.

"You figured I would have been uncomfortable? What about you?"

"No, I mean…I knew it would be weird for me, too, that's why I thought it would be a good thing to do, see if it helped. Clearly it didn't." She shrugged and took a drink of the coffee.

"It's okay."

"Okay." They both sat for a while, the long-gone awkwardness between them coming back. "Lorelai, I - "

"Ready!" Rory announced, coming into the room at top speed. "Mommy, can we sleep at Daddy's again?" she asked.

"Sure," Lorelai said, standing up and getting her bag. "You can sleep at Daddy's again." She met Luke's eyes for an instant, and then turned towards the door. "Bye, Luke," she said. "Thanks for letting us stay over. I'll see you later." And then they were out the door. She and Rory walked through the diner to the exit, and she was thankful for Rory's presence, because otherwise they would have assumed falsities, and she really didn't feel like dealing with that.

"Where are we going, Mommy?" Rory asked, bright-eyed.

"Home," she said, keeping her eyes on the road. "I have to go to work for a couple hours, but I'll ask Babette to keep an eye on you, okay?" Rory nodded.

"Why can't I go back to Daddy's?"

"Daddy has to work too, honey."

"Oh." Rory sat silently for a bit. "Doesn't Babette have to work?" Lorelai laughed a little.

"That's a good one, sweets. You feeling better today?"

"Yeah. I slept really well last night, too. Daddy's bed is comfortable." Lorelai didn't say anything, and pulled up to their house.

"I'm going to get changed and call Babette, okay?"

"Okay," Rory said, and ran into the house. Lorelai changed out of her dress and into slacks, and rang Babette quickly to ask if she could check in on Rory a couple times while she was out.

"Okay, bye, babe," she said, kissing Rory quickly on the forehead. "I'll be home in a few hours." Rory waved goodbye from where she sat on the couch with a book, and Lorelai hurried to the car and drove to the inn.

Lorelai had recently become friends with the new sous-chef, Sookie. She was twenty-five and just out of culinary school, and Lorelai thought she was a goddess. She was also her first actual friend other than Luke – an adult friend, because when she was with Luke, she was anything but adult. Of course Lorelai's friendship with Sookie didn't come close to that of hers and Luke's, but it was nice having a girlfriend to talk to sometimes. So, on this particular occasion when she entered the kitchen, she sat down at the counter with a dramatic sigh an got a cup of coffee.

"Someone's chipper," Sookie commented with a smile. "Rough night?"

"You have no idea." She sighed. "I slept with Luke?"

"What?" Sookie leapt up and came to sit across from her.

"No!" Lorelai said quickly, realizing how that had come out. "No, I mean…I literally slept with Luke. Slept."

"Oh." Sookie frowned. "Why?" The extent of what Sookie knew about the Luke situation was basically that they had slept together as teenagers, and now they were caught in limbo. After all, she was a new friend. Lorelai wasn't about to spill her intense feelings to someone she had only known for about three months.

"Well, he had Rory for the evening, and when I got there to pick her up she was dead asleep…I didn't want to leave her, but I didn't want to wake her up, so I ended up sharing the couch with Luke."

"And?" Sookie asked, pushing a cookie towards Lorelai.

"God, it was so weird. He moved in the night, and he had his arm over me, and it just…ugh. When he moved, I got up and slept in his bed with Rory."

"Well…hmm. What does that mean?" Sookie asked in a faux-Freudian voice.

"That I'm hopelessly in love with him," she said mundanely. "We've been over this."

"Right. Right. I'm sorry, so why don't you do anything about it?" Lorelai sighed, taking a forceful bite of the cookie.

"It's complicated."

"That's what you always say. That's why I don't know."

"I think it's that…well, we were such good friends first, but that was because we were completely in love with each other, we just didn't realize it. So now we want to be friends again, but without the love factor."

"Why not?"

"Because…if it goes sour, there's no hope of ever getting another chance. As friends, or anything. And it wouldn't be at all fair to Rory." Sookie sighed.

"Okay, okay. You're right."

"Lorelai?" The staff manager, Sandra, poked her head in. "We need you at the front desk." She stood.

"Bye, Sookie. Thanks for the coffee. And the cookie."

"This is getting pathetic," Lorelai announced as she was doused in snow from the offending branch blocking the path and stumbled into the clearing, where Luke, of course, was. "It's like ESP or something. Every time I think about coming, you're here."

"I'm sorry," he said dryly.

"No, its not bad. Just funny."

"Hey, uh, Lorelai?"

"Hey, uh, Luke?" She shot back as she sat against the boulder next to him.

"Where's Rory?"

"Oh. Babette was watching her while I was at work, and I got off early and decided since she's covered I'd come here."

"She could have stayed with me." She shrugged.

"Yeah…" She felt oddly out of place in her slacks and jacket, sitting on the cold ground with Luke. He looked at her strangely.

"Last night really freaked you out, huh?" She sighed.

"God, I forget how well you know me." He jostled her shoulder a little.

"Come on. Talk to me."

"Noooo, I can't," she said half obstinately, half playfully.

"We've been over this," he said, looking at her with a sort of mix between a frown and a grin on his face. "You know you can. Come on, try me." She sighed.

"Fine, but you asked for it."

"I'll keep that in mind."

"It was just weird, that's all. Too…déjà vu-ey, I guess you could say. You were dead asleep, so it didn't freak you out, but…" she shrugged. "It was a little soon, that's all. And kind of a leap, too. I think, you know, sharing a bed?" She said it sort of playfully, because it was a ridiculous scenario. "Maybe next time we should work up to that a little bit more." They both laughed a little. "It's okay, though," she said more seriously. "I was just sort of weirded out this morning, that's all."

"Okay," he said, clearly analyzing and processing this. "Well…sure. Next time we want to share a bed, we'll work up to it before hand." She giggled. "We okay, though?"

"We're okay." Her hair fell across her face as she leaned forward and picked up a stick, tracing random lines in the snow.

"What are you doing?"

"Making great art," she retorted, and sat back proudly to display a stick figure drawing of a crazed girl carrying a cup on which was written coffee. "Me," she said, pointing to it, and then drew a stick figure with a backwards baseball cap, holding a pitcher of coffee protectively. "You." He grinned and reached out to push the hair behind her ear. She looked up at him, surprised, and it happened again – her eyes got stuck on his lips, and when she finally dislodged them they moved to his eyes, those silvery blue whirlpools sucking her in...This time, though, she stood up quickly, almost falling over. "I should go…Rory's home alone…I'll see you later, okay?" Without waiting to hear his goodbye in return, she left the woods quickly, walking to where her car was parked at a nearby gas station and driving home. It was getting ridiculous, these moments. So frequent. It was like time would just…stop for an instant, they would stare at each other, realize what was happening and hop to it, moving quickly in an effort to forget the still moments.