Legacy Chapter 14
They sent the invitations out three weeks before the party. They didn't give away what was being celebrated, just that it was going to be the event of the year. Joker rented out the entire Iceberg Lounge and the gambling that was usually reserved strictly for the back room was going to be extended to the entire lower floor. Craps, black jack, acey deucey, roulette, baccarat, Caribbean stud, poker, it was all going to be available that evening. The dinner menu was expensive and wide-ranging. They had auditioned several bands including Mucous Membrane, a British punk band that was horrendously bad. The lead singer was a surly Brit named John who told Joker he could "Sod off" when they chose not to book them. They decided on a 20-piece orchestra for the opening festivities through dinner and hired DJ Mite to spin dance music the rest of the night.
It was going to be a night to remember. After his little 'issue', Joker wanted to make sure everyone in the villain community knew there was absolutely no problem with his virility or machismo so the guest list was extensive. It included the entire who's who of Gotham villains and a slew from other cities as well including but not limited to Lex Luthor, Mirror Master, Weather Wizard, Deadshot, Trickster, Punch and Jewlee, Tally Man, Black Manta, Metallo, and Toymaker. Joker loved a good party and he was bursting with anticipation for their big announcement.
Harley was finally starting to show. It was just a small little baby bump but since Harley had such a tiny athletic body it was quite noticeable now. J had developed a habit of rubbing it as they lie in bed or cuddled on the couch watching television. She had also finally gotten the "glow" she had read so much about. The skin of her face was flawless, however she noticed a distinct darkening of her nipples and the skin above and below her baby bump. They had been seeing Dr. Maher once a week since the night of the car chase and everything seemed to be going just fine. Harley was off of bed rest but still couldn't do anything too strenuous. Junior was growing, there had been no more bleeding or cramping and they were given the greenlight to be intimate again, which they took advantage of quite often.
The week before the party was a whirlwind of planning and activity. Joker was busy working on the party favors. They were going to be small red boxes tied with black ribbons that would explode with confetti when opened with a tiny baby Joker in a purple swaddling blanket that would pop up on a spring. It was keeping him busy and out of trouble to Harley's great relief. Since Ivy and Selina already knew about the pregnancy Harley had roped them into helping her get ready for the event. They were currently gathered around the kitchen counter writing out the name cards for each table. Selina sneered as she wrote out the name card for Mirror Master.
"Why in the world did J invite this tool? I can barely understand a word that comes out of his mouth. What is he, Irish or something?" Harley looked up from writing out the card for Captain Boomerang.
"No, Scottish and I agree. It sounds like he always has a mouth full of marbles or something. Maybe we should seat all the villains with accents at the same damn table and let them try to figure it out." Ivy chuckled.
"You know Harl, that's not a bad idea. So table five will be Mirror Master, Captain Boomerang, El Diablo, The Mad Hatter, Black Adam and Lady Vic. I think that works, don't you?" Harley looked at the seating chart.
"How about we put all the temperature themed folks together. Table ten, Killer Frost, Mr. Freeze, Captain Cold, Heatwave, and Weather Wizard. Oh, Ivy should we keep El Diablo at the accent table or the temperature table?"
"Put him with the temps, his accent isn't that bad and then we have five people at each table." Harley perused the nearly finished seating chart.
"Wait a minute, we can't put Dr. Psycho at table three. He's got to be at a table with no women. I don't want to have to break up any fights on our big night." Ivy rolled her eyes.
"I despise that little bastard. I don't understand why half of these people got invited." Harley moved on to write out The Mad Hatter's place card.
"I just really hope Jervis doesn't bring a plus one with him. The last time he showed up with one she was twelve, under mind control and it caused a big scene. Even villains have a problem pedophiles." Selina started writing out her next card.
"Cheetah, now she seems interesting. Mind if I seat her at my table Harls?" Harley looked across the table.
"Sure, doesn't bother me. Uh this is so tedious! I'm sooooo boorrreedd! Why J didn't have these printed I just don't know." Ivy shrugged.
"At least we're almost done. What time do you and J go to your obstetrician tonight?" Harley smiled.
"Around eight. I'm at 13 weeks now. You girls know what that means, don't you?" Both Ivy and Selina looked a little perplexed. Ivy responded solicitously.
"Nooo, not really Harl. My transformation took away my ability to procreate and Selina here only breeds kittens, so why don't you fill us in." A huge grin spread across Harley's face.
"It means that there's a pretty good chance we'll find out the sex of the baby." The girl's eyes widened.
"Oh my God, that's great Harley!" Cried Selina.
"Are you excited?" Asked Ivy.
"I'm bursting! I can't wait! You should see Mistah J though. He's been acting like it's Christmas all day long. He's so anxious and keyed up." Selina had a thoughtful expression.
"Do you have a preference?"
"As long as the baby is healthy I don't care, buuuttt I guess I was kinda hoping for a little girl. Mistah J hasn't said it directly but he really has his heart set on a boy. I can tell." Harley finished writing out the last place card. "And before you ask, you'll find out at the party when everyone else does." Ivy and Selina both stuck out their bottom lips in pouts.
"That's not fair Harls! I'm your best friend, I'm supposed to get preferential treatment." Harley stuck out her tongue at Ivy.
"Too bad my little daffodil, you'll just have to wait like everyone else." She laid the very last place card on the pile. "There! Finally, we are officially done! Let's go get some lunch girls, I'm starving!"
J was a nervous wreck as Leo drove him downtown to meet with Louie the Moustache. Louie was one of the best fences in Gotham, but J wasn't looking to get rid of merchandise, he was trying to acquire it and Louie was known to have the best selection in town. He was having an internal struggle as they made their way through the Gotham streets. A big part of him knew this was the right thing to do but the other half was absolutely rebelling against the idea. What would it change, really? Probably nothing, right? So why did it seem like such a big deal? He was at war with himself and losing on both fronts.
They pulled up to the characterless building in the Old Gotham sub-section of the city. Leo let J off at the rear entrance. Joker could feel his palms sweating inside of his leather gloves as he knocked and waited for someone to answer. A moment later the door swung inward revealing Louie the Moustache. He was in his mid-fifties, balding on top yet still had a long ponytail of pure white, he was quite rotund and of course sported his signature bristly moustache which was more of an off white from years of greasy food and smoking.
"J-man, long time no see! Come on in!"
"Hey Louie, you got what I'm looking for?" Louie waved his hand dismissively.
"Of course I do! I got the best around. What do you take me for? It's right this way."
As he followed Louie, Joker realized his collar felt too tight and why was it so damn hot in here? Louie led him through a short hallway and into a room filled to brimming with jewels, precious metals, paintings, statuary, firearms, watches, oriental rugs, furs, rare trading cards and comic books.
"Here you go!" Louie brought him to a long glass case. "What do you think?"
J ran a finger around his collar and a bead of sweat dripped from his hairline down the side of his neck.
"Um, they're nice I guess, but how the hell do I know what to pick?"
Louie chuckled. In all his years fencing for him, he had never seen the Clown Prince of Crime nervous and jerky before.
"Let's start with size J-man. You know what size you need?" He shook his head.
"No but I brought this, can you figure it out from that?" Joker placed something in Louie's hand.
"Absolutely." Louie made a few measurements. "You're looking for a six and a half my friend." Louie bent down and pulled out a black tray to show Joker. "These are all the right size. Does that help narrow it down?"
Joker rubbed a gloved hand along the nape of his sweaty neck as his eyes drifted over the merchandise. He was completely at a loss.
"What do you suggest?"
They spent the next twenty minutes going over the pros and cons of the selections available and after an agonizing final five minutes Joker finally made a decision. Louie gave him a big smile and clapped him on the shoulder.
"I think you made a great choice, my friend! Don't look so glum. It's not a death sentence ya know."
"Then why does it feel that way?" He replied gloomily.
He felt like his face was on fire and his belly was full of ice. He could still back out and no one would be the wiser. Louie laughed at him.
"Take it from me. It's a beginning, not an ending. Good luck J."
"Thanks Louie."
When J got back to the Ha-hacienda Ivy and Selina had left already and he could hear the television on in the living room. He turned to head down the hallway to find a hiding spot for his purchase when he heard Harley call to him.
"Is that you Pud?"
His pocket felt like he was carrying a twenty pound weight in it. He just wanted to put it away somewhere and try to forget about it.
"Yeah Pumpkin, I'll uh, be right there. I have to, um, write something down before I forget it."
He ducked into his office, opened the bottom drawer of his desk and pulled the offending object out of his pocket. He buried it as far into the back of the drawer as he could and covered it up with knives and paperwork. He pulled off his gloves, threw them on the desk and wiped his palms on his trousers. He tried to put on a casual air and went to see what Harley was up to. He found her on the couch with a bag of pretzel rods, a jar of peanut butter and several packages of Pop Rocks as she watched Judge Julie.
"What in the world are you doing Poo?"
She jumped, not having heard him come into the room over the courtroom antics blaring on the TV.
"Just having a little snack and waiting for you to get home."
He watched her as she stuck one of the pretzel rods in the peanut butter coating it halfway up then rolled it into a plate of Pop Rocks she had on the coffee table until it was thoroughly covered with the candy. He wrinkled his nose. She had started eating some really strange combinations lately. It was fascinating and gross all at the same time. She took a big bite of the mixture and he could hear the crackling effervescence as the Pop Rocks mixed with her saliva as she chewed. He couldn't help but smile.
"That looks absolutely repulsive Poohbear." She glanced up at him with a goofy smile on her face.
"It's actually pretty good, Junior thinks so. Wanna taste?" She replied as she held the pretzel rod out towards his face. He stuck out his tongue in disgust.
"Absolutely not. At least it's not as gross as watching you eat French fries topped with chocolate ice cream and hot sauce."
"Hey don't knock it till ya tried it. The salty and sweet pairing is all the rage these days. Watch Food TV one day, you'll see." She noticed his twitchiness and eyeballed him. "What's the matter Pud?" he answered far too quickly.
"Nothing. Nothing at all. Everything's just hunky dory Pumpkin." She didn't believe it for a second.
"What are you up to?" She had noticed he'd been a little restless over the past few days. Her hormones were still out of whack. A major mood swing kicked in and she screamed at him at the top of her lungs. "You had better not be planning something for Batsy because so help me God, if you get thrown back in Arkham I will hunt you down, rip your finger and toenails out and feed you your own tongue. UNDERSTAND ME!?"
He was in no mood to be trifled with either and the urge to beat her to within an inch of her life overtook him. His body tensed and he shook with anger. If she had any idea what he had to go through today she wouldn't take that kind of tone with him. He instinctively raised his hand to slap a little sense into her. He saw her flinch and protectively grab her belly which was protruding more noticeably. Rational thought flooded his brain suddenly, something that had only really started occurring since he found out she was pregnant, and instead of hitting her he turned with a feral growl and put his fist through the living room wall. When he withdrew his hand his knuckles were cut and bleeding and Harley was crying. Then the guilt hit. Damn it he missed the days when crap like this didn't bother him. He hated feeling guilty, how did normal people deal with it their entire lives? He took a few deep breaths and attempted to calm down before opening his mouth.
"Look, Harley, I get that you're hormonal and emotional and suspicious, but I promise you I am not planning to go fight Batman, Robin, Nightwing or any of the Guano Gang, and being accused where it's unwarranted is getting on my last nerve!" He shouted. "So do me a favor and reign it in. You wanna know why I'm tense? I've got the event of the year to pull off on Saturday and we have a good chance of finding out the sex of the baby tonight. So excuse me for being a little on edge!"
She balked. Then she noticed his knuckles steadily dripping blood onto the area rug. She wiped her eyes and stood.
"I'm sorry Puddin. I can't help it." She whined. "It's my body messing with my head. I didn't mean to accuse you of anything." His breathing slowed as he tried to get control over himself. She reached out and gently took his bleeding hand in hers. "C'mon, let me get this cleaned up for you." He pulled his hand away. He needed a little time to cool off.
"I'll do it myself!" He growled. "Why don't you make yourself useful and get dinner made you nutty broad! We have a doctor's appointment in a couple of hours." He stalked off towards the bathroom as she blinked after him.
Later they sat at the kitchen counter eating dinner and both of them had calmed down after their fight. Joker's knuckled were bandaged and throbbing. Harley looked at him apologetically.
"Thanks for putting up with me Puddin. I know this whole pregnancy has been tough for you." He patted her hand.
"It's ok Poo, we both lost our tempers. It was bound to happen sooner or later, look at our history." She sighed heavily.
"I know, but thanks for not hitting me and Junior." He felt another pang of guilt.
"Sorry I put a hole in the wall. I'll have Jenna come fix it next week."
They finished supper and got ready to see Dr. Maher. By the time they left the apartment they were both feeling much better and the cloud of guilt and suspicion had lifted. Now they were both gripped with anticipation.
"Try not to get your hopes up Pud. We may not find out tonight you know." He put his arm around her shoulders.
"I know, but I can't help but hope."
Dr. Maher greeted the couple and began Harley's exam. Joker sat in suspense. He hated waiting, he hated surprises and really, really wanted to know already. He felt like the exam took forever that night. He sat next to Harley rapidly tapping his foot on the floor as he waited for the Doc to finish up and start the ultrasound. Finally after what felt to J like a decade had passed the doctor squirted the gel onto Harley's belly and applied the transducer. The baby had gotten much bigger. You could already make out facial features and see the tiny fingers and toes developing.
"Well the baby looks very healthy." Harley looked at the tiny figure on the screen with wonder.
"Doc, is the baby sucking its thumb?" Joker probably wouldn't have noticed if she didn't point that out but damned if that's not exactly what it looked like. Dr. Maher smiled.
"Yes, yes it is. Your baby is already practicing the skills it's going to need in order to nurse." He glanced at the anxious couple. "So, do you want to know the sex of your baby?"
"Yes!" They answered simultaneously. They waited with bated breath.
"Well Joker, Harley, you are having a little boy." Joker jumped out of his chair whooping with a gigantic smile on his face.
"I knew it! I just knew we were having a son!" He leaned down and kissed Harley hard on the lips. "Good job kiddo! This is just great news Doc!" He beamed at his little Harley girl. She smiled back lovingly. She was carrying his son and he couldn't be happier.
On the car ride home Harley was a little quieter than he thought she'd be. He took her chin in his hand and turned her face up to his.
"You're not disappointed are you Poo?"
"No not disappointed. I guess I was kind of hoping for a girl but a healthy boy is just as much of a blessing. I'm really happy you're so happy Puddin." He wrapped his arm around her shoulders and gave her a squeeze.
"Well don't fret cupcake. There's plenty of time for us to try for a girl." She glanced at him skeptically.
"You really want to go through all this a second time?"
"Well, not anytime soon, but eventually….maybe. For right now I'm just content to have my girl and my unborn son with me right now. I'm one lucky guy." He said as he laid a hand on her baby bump. She leaned in and gently kissed him.
"I love you Puddin."
"Me too Pumpkin. Me too."
A/N - Sorry it took me so long to post an update. I took an impromptu trip out of town for the weekend. So, is everyone ready for a party? Oh by the by, there are a bunch of DCU Easter eggs in this chappy. If you pick out at least two and can explain them you get a cookie.