IN MEMORY OF.

CHAPTER 14

Diana called Clark that night after she had composed herself to give her condolences. He had left the hospital and was back on the farm.

"Clark?"

"Diana."

"I heard from Bruce...I'm so sorry...I...Will you accept my sympathy for... for..."Her voice faltered;she felt tongue-tied with sorrow.

He seemed almost distant on the line."Thank you."

"Is there anything I can do?"she asked.

"Thanks,but the neighbors and family are here. There's a lot to organize."

"How's Ma?''

"Not too good. Lana's here. She and Lois are seeing to her."

"When is the funeral?"

"I'm hoping next week. I'll let you all know."

"Clark?...I'm here if...if you need me."

"I know."

The League took Superman's name off the roster indefinitely. They had been unanimous in their belief that Clark needed time to comfort his mother,bury his father and grieve. Theatmosphere was sombre in the Satellite. Not even Wally joked that first week. Even Dinah and Oliver had contemplated canceling their honeymoon,but Clark would have none of it. After arguing with the stubborn leftist,Clark compromised;the pair would have a week to themselves and return for Mr Kent's funeral.

Lois couldn't stay longer than two days,having to get back to work. Perry gave Clark the time he needed. Despite all the well meaning friends and relatives calling and dropping by,both Martha and Clark felt the loneliness loved ones always felt when left behind.

It was in the simplest of things. Pa not there when the doors were opened in the morning or closed at night. No sound of him whistling as he tinkered with his wagon or sung to his cows. The chess board was still out on the table in the living room. Pa had gotten his heart-attack whilst playing with a neighbour. Clark stared at the empty chair and photos on the shelves,finding it hard to believe he would never see him again. He looked up at the ceiling and saw his mother in her room. Martha was smoothing the empty space on the bed that she had shared with him for decades and was sobbing.

Clark went to her.

She felt herself enveloped in the arms of her son. She hid her face in his shoulder."How will I ever fall asleep without him?"

Clark stroked her gray hair. He had to stay strong .His voice was low but controlled."I'll be here,Ma."

"You have your life. You can't be baby-sitting your mother..."

"You and Pa gave me a life. The debt of gratitude I owe to you I could never repay."

"Oh Clark!He was a good man,wasn't he?"

"The best."

"He didn't suffer,did he?"

"No,no he didn't."

"And he waited for you...It was as if to say good-bye..."

Clark felt his throat tighten. Pa had remained alive until he had flown in. Whilst Ma and Lois tried to get sense out of the doctors,Clark knew his father didn't have long .He had sat down and held Mr Kent's hand."Pa,I'm here."

It was as Mrs Kent had said. Her husband seemed to have been waiting for his son. His eyes had fluttered open and then he flat-lined.

As Clark held his mother he could see it fresh in his mind. Lois and Ma crying. The doctors trying to resuscitate Pa. Clark had reached out and touched the doctor's arm.

"Stop. Let him go in peace."

And that was the end. Jonathan Kent had been pronounced dead at 21.45 sixth of June.

Clark whispered in her hair."He did say good-bye. And he loved us. We'll miss him,and try to remember him."

Clark Kent rose from his chair and faced the dozens of faces in the church that turned out for the funeral of Jonathan Kent. The coffin was on the altar,now closed,and covered with white roses and lilies. It was his turn to speak,after the pastor's words. He saw friends and loved ones there; Bruce, Wally, Jimmy, Perry, Lois, Lana,John Henry,John Jones,Pete,Ollie,Dinah...the church was packed...but as his eyes scanned quickly, he couldn't find Diana. His brow crinkled,but it wasn't the time to think about why

she wasn't present.

Clark cleared his throat. He began with poem by William Blake.

"Father!father!Where are you going?

O do not walk so fast.

Speak,father,speak to your little boy

Or else I shall be lost.

The night was dark,no father was there;

The child was wet with dew;

The mire was deep and the child did weep,

And away the vapour flew."

There wasn't a sound as Clark continued,this time his eyes looking at his mother.

"The little boy lost in the lonely fen,

Led by the wand'ring light,

Began to cry;but God,ever nigh,

Appeared like his father in white.

He kissed the child,and by the hand led,

And to his mother brought,

Who in sorrow pale,thro' the lonely dale,

Her little weeping boy sought."

Martha Kent put her hand to her lips and tears trickled down her cheeks.

Clark's Kent's voice was clear and unhesitating.

"Jonathan Kent was a family man. He loved his wife. He never saw himself as anyone of great importance. He was practical and had simple tastes in life. When he married Martha,he saw the fulfillment of all his desires. He had gotten in her all that was worthy in life. Together they became the Kents. Some may not see the significance of that,but to a child who had lost all he had known in the world these two people would open up their hearts and home..."Clark gave a brief historical outline of Pa's childhood and upbringing and accomplishments,including his forays in college football and politics in Smallville.

Many did not know it,but Jonathan Kent had run for mayor once. He had not won.

"He was too forthright for his own good and his politics was not for sale. So campaign financing made it tough to spread his ideas and buy votes...'Those who had the most corn, fed the most fowl',was how my eloquent father put it." The listeners smiled wanly.

"Pa was many things. Not only a good parent. He was a trusted friend and neighbour,as can be evinced by so many of you here today .He was a farmer. He liked singing Elvis to his cows. He was fond of tinkering with his old wagon,which often drove Ma up a wall since it always broke down once a month..."There was a murmur of laughter.''He was a fine chess player and could work with any type of wood. He was a good listener. He genuinely loved his fellow man. Anyone of us here could say that we all had Pa giving us a taste of his wisdom,which at times could be very blunt but honest. And full of analogies of livestock. One of his best was...'It's far better to roll like a pig in muck than be a sheep who aspires to wear tie'.It was Pa's way of telling one to be true to one's self and never be what others think you ought to be. He was never afraid of death. Even after that first scare years ago. He not only had faith in the way he lived his life but he knew, when he couldn't continue ,Ma was there to take up the reins. I'm not ashamed to tell you today that I feel lost like that boy in the

poem,but I know that Pa is still with me,because the woman he loved is with me too."

Several people wiped away tears. Martha Kent sobbed quietly. Lana put her arms about her.

Clark spoke some more,touching on Pa's charitable works and his hope to take up the cause of the homeless and animal welfare.

He was aware of his throat tightening as he continued,"My father was the best of men. He lived by example and if I could be half of what he was,I'd consider my life well-spent .I cannot think of Pa without hearing his words of advice and encouragement. Perhaps when you hear the lines of this poem,you'll understand what Jonathan Kent did for me."

Clark recited the last paragraph of Kipling's If.

"If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,

Or walk with Kings...nor lose the common touch,

If neither foes not loving friends can hurt you,

If all men count with you,but none too much;

If you can fill the unforgiving minute

With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,

Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,

And...which is more...you'll be a Man,my son!"

Clark's voice wavered but he managed to finish it till the end. When he was finished,he stepped off the podium quickly. He took his place near his mother and Lois. Lois squeezed his hand. His mother leaned on him."That was beautiful .Pa would be proud."

Mr Kent's body was laid to rest at midday in the very churchyard, where his parents had been buried. Lois and Lana had gone home with Ma. It was too much for the elderly woman,and she did have a houseful of mourners to see to.

Clark was amongst the few to remain to watch the dirt pile upon the coffin. He felt a strong hand on his shoulder. It was Bruce Wayne.

"Good eulogy."

"Thanks."

"How are you holding up?"

"Okay."

"Clark,look...I'm not good at this sort of thing but I know how you must feel.."

"No, you don't."

Bruce looked taken aback by his reply."Look,I don't mean to belittle your feeling by talking about my own..."

Clark smiled sadly."You lost more than I,when you were only a child. Rather it is I who should say I know how you feel. I 'm lucky I had Pa for so long. And I still have Ma. I don't even know if I would have been as strong as you to be the man you are today."

Bruce looked at him and swallowed. This was the closest anyone had come to making him feel vulnerable in years. He said gruffly,so Clark would not guess how much he had touched an old wound,"You exaggerate."

"If you say so."

"I wish I could come back to the house but..."

Clark nodded."I know. Gotham needs you. I'll see you next week."

"Are you sure about that?J'onn has given you time to..."

"Occupying myself will be all the time I need."He looked about."Have you seen Diana?"

"Oh,didn't Wally tell you?"

"Tell me what?"

"I got a call from her an hour ago. She was all set to come here,when there was some trouble at the Embassy. I think Villainy Inc. attacked it. She will come as soon as she can. I told Wally to tell you. I saw him speaking to you."

Clark sighed."Wally was just keen to get Linda home. Her first trimester isn't going too good. Poor guy,he must have forgotten. I'm off home."

"How are you getting there?"

"I'm afraid I have to drive."

"Take care,Clark."

Lois looked at Clark as he spoke to the guests that had come back to the house. He was pale but looked very composed. She confided her concerns to Lana.

Lana shrugged."I'd have thought he was holding up well."

"Too well. He hasn't dropped a tear since Mr Kent died."

"Maybe he's being strong for his mother's sake."

"It can't be healthy."

"Lois,have you ever lost any one?"

"Well,not really."

"I have. And people grieve in their own time and way. You want my advice?Give Clark time and space."

Many of the guests stayed for an hour or two then headed out. Lois left with Jimmy and Perry. She couldn't remain even if she wanted to. Clark had a few more days off and intended to spend it with his mother. She hugged him and said,"I'll be waiting to see you,Smallville."

He smiled and waved as she went to the car. He turned back to the house. His Planet colleagues were the last to leave. It was now nearing four in the afternoon. The farm was quiet.

Ma was lying on the couch,a blanket over her knees. She smiled wearily at him"I'll just lie here for a bit,sweetheart."

He looked about the house gratefully. Lana and Dinah had taken charge and tidied up. He kissed her cheek."Sure. I'll be upstairs. Just holler if you want me."

Diana landed behind the Kent farm and changed into her Diana Prince persona. She walked to the front and sighed regretfully. There was no sign of any guests. Fate been quite unkind to let her miss Pa's funeral. What must Clark think of her?Just knowing that she was going to be late, made Diana and her Amazon sisters glad to clobber Giganta and the Riot Girls.

She walked carefully up to the house. The screen door was open and she entered .She found herself facing Martha Kent,who was lying on the couch.

Ma blinked."Diana?"

"Ma."

"Come in and stop gaping like a fish,child!"

Diana reached down to hug her."I'm sorry. I was held up. How are you?"

Ma sighed,"Tired. I'm glad to see you."

"Is no one here?"

"Everyone left over two hours ago. There's not a soul around here. You can take off those blinkers and let me speak to you properly."She sat up and leaned back.

Diana took off the offending glasses. Her hair uncoiled and waved upon her shoulders. She said guiltily,"I missed the entire day. If Clark is miffed with me,I deserve it."

Ma shook her head."Of course not. He knows only something urgent would deter you. You want something to eat?"

"No,I'm fine."She sat next to her."Ma,I wish I could say something to make the pain go away."

Ma smiled tiredly."I know. But that's what we get for living. Pain. It's part of life. You missed a wonderful eulogy today."

"Really?How I wish I was there..."

Mrs Kent groped in her handbag on the coffee table. She produced a folded paper."I'll get it rewritten and framed..."

Diana read Clark's writing and found her eyes were filling .She looked up and choked,"That's beautiful"

"There weren't many dry eyes in the house. I'm so tuckered and cried out...,"she sighed.

Diana squeezed her hand .She patted Diana's knee."My son is in his room. He's been trying so hard to be strong for my sake. I think seeing you will do him the world of good."

Clark was lying on his bed .His black jacket was on the back of a chair and tie on a desk. His glasses was on the end of the bed at his feet. His eyes were closed. Over his ears was his headphones. He was listening to Holst, "The Planets",unaware that Diana had entered and was watching him. She moved forward and bent to pick up the glasses.

Instantly his eyes opened and met hers.

He sat up,pulling off the headphones."Diana."

She held up the black frames."Aren't you afraid you'll break them?"

"I have a boxful in the closet."

"Oh,well then."She threw them on the table with his tie.

Clark looked at her silently. She noted the pallor in his cheeks and circles under his eyes."You look as if you haven't slept in days."

"I haven't."

She swallowed."I know I'm late,but there was a crisis at the Embassy..."

He interrupted,"I know. Bruce told me. Is all under control?"

"Yes. I hope you can forgive me for coming so late..."

"It goes without saying." He swung his legs over and rubbed his neck. His hair was rumpled and she felt the need to reach out and smooth it back.

She clenched her fingers instead and asked,"Did the service go well?"

"As well as can be."

"Your mother let me read your eulogy. It was very touching."

"It's the truth,"he shrugged.

She fiddled with the stationery on his desktop."Was everyone here?"

"Yes,most of them. They were all very supportive. Everyone has been supportive. I've got good friends and colleagues."He got up and moved to the window to look out of it." I'm fortunate."

"Kal,don't..."

His spine stiffened. He looked over his shoulders."What?"

She entreated,"You don't have to do this for me. I'm not one of those who expect you to be all strong and philosophical...I know how hard this is for you."

He looked ironic."I thought Amazon warriors don't believe in sentimentality."

Diana looked at him dismayed."I cared for him too,Clark. I don't have a father but he was the nearest thing I would ever know of one. He and your mother took me in when I needed help and they have treated me better than perhaps I deserved."

Clark's jaw tightened."Don't be foolish. You know that isn't true. Pa loved you."

"Really Kal?"She looked like a school girl that had been given a gift.

"Really Diana."He half smiled at her look of gratification. He added,"Who wouldn't love you?"

There was an uneasy silence. It was the closest he had ever coming to tell her that he loved her. Diana wanted to go to him,to take him in her arms and kiss his pain away. But she just stood there,immobile by doubt and anxiety.

She asked instead, to deflect from her emotions ,"I never asked,how did he ?"

Clark swallowed."He was already dying when I got there. I could hear his heart muscles,struggling to work. I could see them failing. The blood trying to surge forward but in vain. None of the medication or lines put into him was going to work. He knew I was there. He tried to open his eyes but then his heart stopped. They tried to resuscitate. But it was torture watching them trying to shock his old body into life. Ma was weeping. I stopped them. I wanted him to go in peace and dignity...I don't know if I'd let them continue,if he would have..."

He held his head."Maybe he might have lived but so much of his brain had been deprived of oxygen already. He'd have been a vegetable,kept alive on life-support. He'd have hated that...He always believed it more humane to let anything that suffers die naturally..."

Diana saw his shoulders shake. She reached out and touched him. Clark seemed to flinch. She faltered,"Kal,it's...not your fault and...this pain will not last."

"It hurts so much,Diana..."The admission seemed to be wrenched out of him.

"I know,"she quavered,"Hera,I know."

Clark sank upon the edge of the bed and held his head. She reached out to touch his hair. He did not pull away this time. She asked, her voice trembling,"Do you want me to leave?"

He shook his head as tears spiked his lashes. Diana went to him at once. She drew him close;his head was resting just beneath her breasts,as he clung to her and wept.

Martha Kent stopped outside the opened door and saw the pair. She clasped her hands in relief. Finally,as she knew he would, with his best friend,he was allowing himself to grieve. She tiptoed away leaving them together.