Disclaimer!!! I once again want to reiterate that I am not a doctor and since this is "fanfiction" and for fun (and because I have a real life and other obligations) I have not spent a lot of time researching the medical aspects of what I'm writing about. I'm kind of going from what little knowledge I have, and from what I feel I can fudge. Please forgive me any errors, and enjoy this update and your New Year celebration!
Robin stared at Patrick. He was standing just inside the door, looking a little guilty.
Robin, feeling anger and hurt well up inside her, quickly composed herself, building back the protective wall that had taken months to slowly wear down enough to really let Patrick in. If he wanted back into her life, he was going to have to try much harder this time…
"How are you?" Patrick took a few steps into the room. Robin watched as his eyes briefly went to her tummy before returning to her face.
"We're fine," Robin answered pointedly, taking small pleasure in the flinch on Patrick's face. It was a little below the belt-but Robin was not in any forgiving mood. He had to work to earn back her respect, let alone her trust.
"Good. That's good," Patrick looked around the dark room. "Dr. Hutton wouldn't tell my anything. Even though I'm-," he stopped.
Even though you're the father, Robin thought as he stood there uncomfortably looking to her for help.
Robin didn't answer, nor defend her decision not to allow Patrick information about her pregnancy; and she wasn't going to save him. She left him twisting in the wind, his unfinished sentence hanging in the air like a conversation balloon from a comic strip.
After all, he had made it perfectly clear he was not going to be involved. Robin wasn't going to make it easy for him to come back from that rejection in the park…there was no help that she would provide to him.
"Will you say something?" Patrick finally asked agitation evident in his voice.
"What do you want, Patrick," Robin responded with resignation and obvious disappointment.
"I want-," Patrick clenched his jaw as he stared at Robin, "hell, I don't know. Obviously this was a mistake."
Robin wanted to laugh.
"What did you expect, Patrick? That I'd lunge into your arms and proclaim all is forgiven? Last time we spoke you basically told me that I was on my own. You would have no part in this. You were very eloquent," Robin sat up in bed, the steadily beeping fetal monitor still attached to her tummy increasing with Robin's rising blood pressure.
"I know what I said," Patrick responded, his eyes moving to the monitor. Robin watched as he took in all the equipment. She could see it in his face. He wanted to turn and run. A small part of her was impressed that he didn't, but the other part of her wished he would. It would be much easier than this constant back and forth he liked to play with her. She supposed she should be happy he was trying at all. That might mean there was hope…but hope was a feeling Robin couldn't afford to allow when it came to Patrick. Too many times had he let her down; so Robin pushed the hopeful thoughts from her mind.
"And I know what you are doing," Robin added, more to fuel her own resolve than anything. As long as she was fighting with him, she wouldn't believe there was a chance.
"I saw you with that woman. I saw you," Robin tried to pierce him with the words.
"What woman? Chelsea?" Patrick just shook his head. "She's an old med school friend that I've been helping out," Patrick crossed his arms and looked back at Robin, seemingly daring her to continue.
His posture and the look on his face told Robin she would not get what she wanted-the truth or anything close to it.
"Fine," she responded, smiling sardonically. Robin reached out and pressed the call button. She was ready to leave.
"What does that mean, 'fine'?" Patrick questioned, his voice now showing signs of irritation.
"Whatever you say, Patrick. We aren't attached, we never were exclusive. I'll just say one thing, something I said to you once before. You better be careful. She should know you were exposed to HIV; and that you are fathering a child," Robin saw the effect of her last few words and for a brief moment she felt remorseful; but it was true. Chelsea, or whoever Patrick slept with next, should know.
The on-duty nurse arrived moments later and after noting the spike in the fetal monitor, left to get Dr. Hutton. Robin waited impatiently while Patrick looked on, worry back on his face. Robin was so confused by his contradicting behavior. He was like two different people. One minute concerned, the next telling her to mind her own business and to expect nothing.
Dr. Hutton arrived not long after the nurse left and immediately the tension in the room tripled. As she approached Robin she gave her a questioning look and Robin just shook her head. Patrick could stay.
"Okay, what did I tell you about reducing your stress?" Dr. Hutton said after taking Robin's blood pressure and consulting the fetal monitor readout.
"Is something wrong?" Patrick questioned concernedly, moving up next to Dr. Hutton.
"Please, step back," Dr. Hutton responded stonily and Robin stifled a smile.
"Robin. You need to calm down; relax. I'm not going to send you home until this monitor reads and stays at 198 beats per minute for an hour and while you are awake," Dr. Hutton held up a hand as Robin opened her mouth to protest. "This is for your own protection, and for the baby."
Robin sighed and sat back against the bed pillows.
"Good," Dr. Hutton smiled and Robin tried to imitate. "I'll be back to check on you."
Dr. Hutton backed up and turned to Patrick.
"I need a word with you," she was speaking tersely, and Robin felt her face get hot (calm, relax she told herself). "You need to leave this woman alone. You are a big part of the problem here, and if you keep adding more stress and anxiety to my patient, I will bar you from this floor, Doctor."
Patrick didn't say a word as Dr. Hutton left the room, the nurse shuffling along behind.
"What's wrong, Robin?" he asked again, more seriously this time.
"Stress. Anxiety. Worry over running into you. I'm endangering my pregnancy. If I don't calm down I could be confined to bed-or even lose the baby," Robin answered wearily.
Patrick nodded, but didn't respond.
"What does that mean?" Robin asked trying not to get angry again. "That stupid nod."
"I'm just-," Patrick shrugged. "I'm processing what you're telling me. That's all."
Robin sighed and closed her eyes.
"Go please," she said, her closed eyes holding back the fresh tears that threatened. If she thought she were over Patrick, she now knew she wasn't. She loved him. It was torture to see him standing there and to be unable to go to him, unable to feel his strong arms around her, protecting her. She couldn't stand the sight of him if she couldn't have him.
"Robin-,"
"Patrick, leave. This is too hard for me," Robin kept her eyes shut until she heard the door to her room gently close. Opening her eyes, she was greeted with an empty room.
"Alone again," she said to herself as she tried to relax and follow her doctors orders.
Robin was given four days of leave after her scare. Dr. Alan Quartermaine, Chief of Staff for General Hospital, had insisted. Robin knew it was because he cared. He'd been Stone's doctor, and had been the first of Robin's many doctors after she had been diagnosed HIV positive.
Robin found the first two days at home somewhat relaxing. Now that she had gotten the first confrontation with Patrick out of the way, she felt some of her independence return. She didn't need a man to take care of her, and she certainly didn't need a disinterested father for her baby. Robin saw how Maxie and Georgie's relationship (or lack thereof) with Frisco had messed with their ideals and she wouldn't put her child through that. It'll be better for him not to know, Robin thought, still certain the baby was a boy.
Towards late afternoon on her fourth day off work, Robin was sitting on her sofa, enjoying the late afternoon views of cloudy sky over the harbor and holding Jane Eyre open on her lap. A loud knock disrupted the reverie and Robin rose, opening her door to a deliveryman from Wyndham's.
"Sign here, miss," he said unceremoniously while shoving a clipboard in Robin's face.
"Ah, I think you have a mistake, I haven't ordered anything," Robin laughed ignoring the clipboard and starting to close the door.
"Robin Scorpio, 435 River Front Avenue, number 1414, right?" the scruffy man (Burly, it said on his nametag) looked at her with a raised eyebrow.
"Uh, yes, that's me, but what-," Robin started to ask as three more men came up behind Burly, each with a large box on a dolly.
"Just sign please Miss, all I know is to deliver these items here," the man said with a hint of annoyance.
Shrugging, Robin signed the invoice and as Burly tore off her copy Robin directed the men to leave the items in the middle of the living room.
"Here you are Miss, have a pleasant day," Burly said (not so sincerely) as he handed Robin the invoice copy and turned, following the three other men to the elevator lobby.
Robin slowly closed the door as she read the items listed on the invoice; Baby Crib/White, Baby ChgTble/White, Misc clothes/baby accs.
"What?" Robin questioned softly to the apartment.
There was no name on the invoice other than her own; no "from" address other than the store; no indication at all from whom the items came.
Robin, who had planned the baby nursery a million times in her head now found herself a little intimidated by the immediate arrival of the baby furnishings. Somehow-this furniture made it real, more real than the hospital visit, the sonograms, or even the fluttering movement she felt within her daily.
While Robin stared in confusion at the boxes before her, her phone rang. Scrambling to the kitchen she answered and was met with the giddy, excited voice of her mother.
"Did you get it?" Anna asked and Robin felt some of her confusion diffuse.
"Hi, mom. You sent me this baby stuff?" Robin asked and her mother's laugh was all the confirmation she needed.
"Why?" Robin asked.
"I had to do something," Anna responded. "Do you like it?"
"Well, I haven't had a chance to open it or anything," Robin laughed. "It just arrived five minutes ago."
"You mean your father isn't there?" Anna asked, and the laughter was gone.
"Uh, no. Why? Should he be?" Robin asked cautiously, wary of the change of her mother's tone.
"Not really, I mean, well, we had talked about it. He had said maybe he would show up with the delivery men and help you set it all up. But maybe we misunderstood each other. No worries, dear."
Robin tried to listen between the lines of her mother's explanation. But the worrisome tone that had been there a minute earlier was no longer present.
"Well, I can call Mac," Robin finally said, saving questions about her wayward, adventure-loving father for another time.
"Yes!" Anna exclaimed, perhaps more exuberantly than she wanted. "And you can ask Felicia to help you decorate, since I can't be there."
"Mom," Robin started.
"No, it's fine. I'm okay, I'm glad you have people there you can count on, since obviously myself and your father are not so…well…dependable."
Robin thought she detected a note of anger in her mother's statement, though she was trying hard to sound cheery.
"It's okay mom. I'm used to it. It's nothing new," Robin sighed; this was just the kind of stress she didn't want and wasn't supposed to deal with.
"Well, we both need to work on our parenting skills. But listen honey, I have to go. I'm on a job and well, I had to steal a few minutes to make this call. I'll be in touch as soon as I can. Love you!"
Robin, unable to get a word in, just stared at the phone receiver as the dial tone picked up.
"'bye mom," Robin said to the dead phone as she hung it back up.
Robin did call Felicia, and she and Mac were at her apartment not long after, unpacking and setting up the furniture. Robin lived in a one bedroom apartment, but her bedroom had a large alcove with a picture window that was basically unused space. The furniture fit perfectly, and suddenly Robin had her nursery. The sight of it was frightening and Robin was reluctant to let Mac and Felicia leave her alone. Suddenly, Robin realized all the things that went along with having a baby, like midnight feedings and thousands upon thousands of diaper changes. Overwhelmed would have been a huge understatement for the way Robin was feeling.
Felicia helped ease Robin's worries a little, commenting on how much her mother had given, saying Robin should be set with clothes and baby toiletries for quite awhile. It seemed Anna might have bought out the whole department store stock.
Mac and Felicia did finally leave, leaving Robin alone where the fear crept back in. So Robin spent the rest of her evening in her living room and barely glanced at the crib as she climbed into her bed that night.
This is going to be harder than I thought, she thought before she drifted off into a restless sleep.
That night Robin dreamt about her mother. She saw her mother as she might have been in 1977 when she was pregnant with Robin. It was odd-and Robin woke from the dream with visions of her mother alone, no Robert Scorpio in sight just like Robin was alone, no Patrick Drake in sight.
Arriving back at the hospital after her four-day break Robin opened her office to find streamers, and congratulations banners strewn about. As she stepped into the room, her eyes taking it all in, she heard voices behind her. Turning, Robin saw Elizabeth, Emily, Maxie, Georgie, Epiphany, and several other nurses that Robin had become friendly with, all bearing gifts.
"Welcome back, and congratulations," Emily smiled and embraced Robin.
Emily and Elizabeth had planned a small baby shower complete with gifts, cake and punch. The women all seemed to enjoy it and the silly games they played. No one mentioned Patrick, and no one mentioned Robin's momentary medical emergency four days prior. But even with those events unspoken about, Robin felt uncomfortable. They were the elephant in the room that no one wanted to mention.
The shower was less than an hour, and as each guest departed back to their shifts Robin thanked each of them for coming. It was a pleasant surprise, and helped ease Robin back into what could have been a stressful day at work.
Finally alone, Robin paused for a moment before diving back into her work. She had numerous messages to answer and many charts to consult. As Robin worked, making her way around the hospital, she found that she was no longer anxious or worried over running into Patrick. That night in the hospital four days ago had been enough to bring Robin back solidly to reality. Regardless of what she did or said, Patrick would do what Patrick wanted to do. No one would make him do anything otherwise.
Robin walked down the 9th floor hallway after a consultation and rounding a corner almost ran straight into Dr. Noah Drake. Laughing nervously, Robin tried to move past him, pretending to be in a hurry. She wasn't sure if Patrick had shared her news with his father, though she wouldn't doubt it if he hadn't.
"Dr. Scorpio! Just the doctor I was looking for," Noah smiled and Robin stopped, trying casually to reciprocate.
"What can I do for you Dr. Drake?"
"I was hoping you could tell me where my son is?" he asked, catching Robin completely off guard. She had secretly been hopeful that Patrick would have shared the news of his impending fatherhood with his father. Whether Patrick wanted to be involved or not, maybe Noah would want to know he was going to be a grandfather. Shame filled Robin's heart as she realized Patrick was embarrassed. Embarrassed by her, by their baby, and by everyone knowing they had been so intimate.
"I know you two have been close and spending a lot of time together recently. It's just I haven't heard from him in a few days, and we were supposed to have dinner last night," Noah continued, oblivious to Robins incredulous look.
"Uh, well no, I haven't seen Patrick. We aren't really talking these days," Robin smiled as she recovered from the shock of the inquiry. She started to move around Noah again.
"If you talk to him, will you tell him to return my call?"
Robin lifted her hand in acknowledgement as she strode quickly down the hall, eager for escape. Her heart was beating very fast and she felt on the verge of tears again. Damn hormones, she thought as she darted into her office and locked the door.
Patrick hadn't told his father. And apparently he'd been gone for days. Probably in California with that little miss he'd been kissing before.
Robin angrily threw the chart she had in her hands across the room, pages coming loose and blanketing the floor.
"Damn him," she said under her breath as her tears faded and were replaced with fury. "Damn him to hell."