Chapter 14: Fights, Mock Cream and Officer Boyle
"We're not made of money," Marth said to Pit, who was annoyed that he couldn't have the dessert he wanted.
"Besides, quadruple-decker tiramisu has like, a ton of alcohol in it," Sonic added.
"They do have ice cream. You like ice cream, don't you?"
Pit nodded glumly.
Mario shook his head. "Oh, let-a him have have it-a! After all, it is-a a Guys Night-a Out-a!"
Meanwhile…
"Eating donuts just seems so…un-ladylike." Peach said.
"But donuts are delicious! You don't know what you're missing!" Stormy seemed appalled at the idea of someone not liking donuts.
"Donuts are fattening and they can clog your arteries," Lucina said, as if she knew anything about the risks of sugar consumption.
"And the triple chocolate cheesecake and mock cream you just ordered can't?" Samus said with a half smile on her face.
"Yeah Lucina. Mock cream is probably the most unhealthy thing on the menu." Stormy added.
"Mhm. If you eat enough mock cream your heart will give out instantly and you'll die." Palutena joined in.
Lucina's face turned red with anger. "Yeah, well I'm not going to eat the whole can, am I?"
The whole table was silent for a few seconds until Willow spoke. "Wait, why would a high-scale place like this even use mock cream anyway? It's cheap and awful and tastes like shit compared to real cream."
"They probably don't even pasteurise their own milk," Palutena said in an almost condescending tone.
"I feel lied to, now," Peach said.
"Yeah thanks for bringing up this whole subject, Lucina," Stormy said.
Lucina sputtered. "What? What do you mean I brought it up?"
"You're the one who ordered it." Stormy stood up and stretched her legs. "Ow, I think my leg's got a cramp in it…"
Suddenly, in a moment of rage, Lucina lunged at Stormy and shoved her as hard as she could. Stormy stumbled backwards and bumped into a waiter carrying a silver platter with a dome lid. The waiter let out a yell of surprise and fell forwards. The dome lid landed on a diners head. The diner stumbled around in surprise, unaware of why he was suddenly unable to see before falling onto a table. The shrimp platter that was on the table was launched into the air. A piece of shrimp landed on the face of a waiter about to break open a bottle of champagne. When the shrimp fell in his eyes he screamed and swung the champagne bottle around right as the cork popped out. The cork ricochet off the walls in a zig-zag pattern towards the other end of the restaurant.
At the other end of the restaurant the waiter was about to present Pit with his quadruple-decker tiramisu. As Pit looked on in excitement and hunger, the cork whizzed by and struck the waiter's hand. His hand jerked and more or less knocked the tiramisu into the angel's face.
Pit sat there completely dumbfounded, his face and hair covered in biscuits, mock cream and absurd amounts of alcohol. It had happened so quickly that he couldn't even process it properly.
Then Sonic laughed, and no one could have predicted what was about to transpire.
He didn't mean it as a "haha I'm guilty" sort of laugh. He just thought it was hilarious. But in Pit's mind Sonic was guilty somehow so he acted accordingly.
He grabbed a big handful of tiramisu and smacked it in Sonic's face.
Sonic, without thinking, took his drink and threw it, glass and all, at his attacker.
Pit saw it coming and dodged. The glass hit a middle aged lady dead on the side of her face. She screamed and her husband jumped up. His face was flushed with anger. Sonic saw this and tried to explain himself.
He ended up taking a beer bottle to the face.
The man's child, a boy of about eight or nine, climbed onto the table and hollered "FOOD FIGHT!"
Seconds later the entire restaurant descended into chaos.
Food flew in all directions. People hurled, and were hit with, all sorts of food, including cakes, seafood, half-raw steaks, eclairs, salads, brains and mock cream. Even some of the waiters and waitresses got in on it and several chefs had run out screaming at everyone to stop wasting their work.
"STORMY!" Lucina could be heard above everyone else, "I'M GONNA KILL YOU FOR THIS!"
"You're the one who pushed me!" Stormy replied, throwing a handful of mussels at some lady who was approaching her with a cherry cream pie in hand.
Lucina let out a yell of frustration but a piece of tomato landed square in her mouth. "Ten points!" someone called.
"Huh," Link said as he dodged a meat pattie drenched in tomato chutney (not sauce, this place was far too fancy for plain old tomato sauce) "I could've sworn I heard Lucina yelling."
Shulk shook his head. "Nah. Couldn't have been. The girls would all be back at the mansion watching movies."
Just then, a man dressed in a smart business suit stepped out of the kitchen. He was obviously the manager of the restaurant and boy, was he pissed at the people causing a ruckus.
He stood up onto a table and produced a microphone.
"All right, who was it that started this ungodly commotion?" he demanded.
Two sides of the restaurant pointed in different directions, but both parties from the Smash Mansion were already long gone.
As the girls walked down the street still covered in food, Peach wore a strange expression on her face. Because of this, it was difficult to tell whether she had fun or was about to start crying.
"Well," Samus began, "that was interesting."
"Indeed," Rosalina agreed. She wet her finger and began to rub at a stain on her dress. Even though she was covered in food, she was glad to be out of the restaurant, narrowing down their chances of running into the boys.
"Ooooh, that Stormy," Lucina clenched her fists in anger, "when I get my hands on her I'm gonna-"
"Hey," Palutena looked around, "where is Stormy?"
The boys dragged their feet along. Pit and Sonic were apologising to each other. Even though it wasn't his fault, Sonic still felt guilty about what happened to the tiramisu.
"I know a place where we can grab some dessert," he said.
"Oh, really? Is this gonna be like that time you said you knew an awesome pizzeria but it ended up getting raided by the police because the owners were secretly running a drug ring?" Marth said.
"Wait, what?" Shulk asked.
"No, it's not like that, I promise. It's a Chinese restaurant slash dessert bar. They've got desserts from across the flippin' universe!"
"I'd like to-a go," Mario said.
"Well, I'm down as well," Link added.
"We might as well. Dinner was a disaster," Little Mac said.
"It's decided then," Sonic started down a little side road. "It's right down here…"
Stormy just wanted to cause more mischief.
It was partially because of impulse but she was also driven by a part of her soul that wanted to see just how obnoxious she could be. That could be why she disobeyed her dad. Or maybe she's so obnoxious because she disobeyed her dad.
Either way, she wanted to do something stupidly daring.
There was a cop car pulled up next to another car, a civilian's car, on the side of the street. Probably pulled over for speeding. The cop, a chubby man with dark skin, was standing by the window of the other car, talking sternly to whoever was inside.
Stormy crept up to the cop car. The keys were still in the ignition. Awesome.
Okay. Just one quick ride then she'll leave the car somewhere for the cops to find.
If she found out what was to happen, she probably would have just left the car alone.
She slid into the driver's seat and turned the keys. The cop turned around, surprised, and a little bit angry when he discovered that it was some teenage girl stealing his ride.
Stormy did a sharp U-turn and roared down the street. The adrenaline rush gave her a feeling of invincibility. The fact that she had a chance of not getting caught was going to her head.
She switched on the lights and sirens. Instantly, cars would slow down and let her pass. She soared down street after street until she came across the girls standing on the footpath. She honked the horn and waved.
The whole group didn't even have to turn around to see who it was. They already knew, somehow, that it would be fourteen year old Stormy Skywalker behind the wheel.
Peach and Rosalina would shake their heads.
Samus would give that strange half-smile.
Lucina would be pissing herself with anger.
Stormy laughed at those thoughts.
That juvenile sense of invincibility would come to an abrupt end when she saw a balloon in the middle of the street, along with a kid trying to catch it, and swerved hard to avoid them. Before she knew it, the front of the cop car was halfway through a Chinese restaurant. The diners were simply staring in shock. An old woman emerged from behind the front desk and began cursing at her in Chinese.
From inside the restaurant, Captain Falcon saw exactly who the idiot driving the cop car was. He was lucky that no one else did.
"Holy shit," Marth said when the collision took place. "We should go. It probably won't be safe to stick around."
Pit whined, as they had only just been served their long-awaited dessert, but some cruel twist of fate had prevented them from eating it for a second time.
"Stop complaining Pit, we'll get ice cream on the way back," Captain Falcon began to usher everyone out the back door.
Within minutes several ambulances and cop cars pulled up. One of the responding officers was the very pissed of fat cop who's car was involved in the accident. He marched over, flung the door open and grabbed Stormy's arm and yanked her outside.
"You! You crazy or somethin? You realise you could'a killed someun?"
Stormy glanced down at the officer's name tag. "Well, er, Officer Boyle, you shouldn't have left your keys in the ignition then,"
Officer Boyle looked like he was genuinely about to slap her but then the girls showed up. Lucina's face had gone almost completely purple.
"OF ALL THE STUPID, FOOLHARDY THING TO DO!" she screamed.
Soon, all the girls were sitting with Stormy in the police station. Peach still wore that same strange look on her face. If she cried, the Stormy wouldn't blame her. She'd ruined her Girl's Night Out for the sake of satisfying that obnoxious part of her very being.
Zelda turned to Willow.
"My God! If I'd known the night would turned out like this, I would've just stayed behind."
However, if Zelda did indeed stay behind at the mansion, she would have wanted to have gone on the Girl's Night Out instead.