Disclaimer: Can't think of anything interesting to say this week so pick your favourite disclaimer from the last twelve weeks and insert it here.
Thanks as always to my beautiful editor, saras_girl, who not only fixes punctuation and occasional odd moments of dialogue but can also be relied upon to dissolve a brain freeze with helpful suggestions and help me pick the chapter intro song with some rather obtuse guidance.
This chapter is for Sagitta20 who always offers very reassuring reviews. Slash loud and Slash proud xxx
Chapter 13
Paradigm Shift
Nobody knows it but you've got a secret smile
And you use it only for me
Nobody knows it but you've got a secret smile
And you use it only for me
So use it and prove it
Remove this whirling sadness
Secret Smile – Semisonic
Harry knew something was not right the moment he drifted out of sleep. He stretched out lazily for Draco but his fingers closed around nothing but cool cotton. Slowly, he struggled upwards to rest on his elbow and looked confusedly around the room, trying to figure out what was going on.
Draco was never awake before him in the morning. Very, very occasionally, when Harry dragged himself from Draco's warm embrace, one bleary grey eye would open and he would give Harry a small smile before snuggling further into the duvet and drifting back to sleep.
This morning, however, Draco was nowhere to be seen. This incongruous occurrence was rather portentous in Harry's opinion. Today was the day that everything was to change and he had hoped that he would get just one more day of the comforting routine that they had shared before they returned to Hogwarts and they would be required to find a whole new routine.
Harry lay there for a few minutes more, listening to the sounds of the house, wondering if Draco might just be getting a drink or something. Eventually, however, he realised that Draco wasn't coming back to bed.
Pulling on a sweatshirt, he headed out into the hallway in search of Draco. The house was still dark; the sun had not yet even started to rise. A cold breeze skittered over the back of Harry's neck and it finally occurred to him where Draco was.
Stepping out onto the roof terrace, Harry shivered violently against the October chill. Draco sat on the edge of one of the wrought iron chairs. He had thrown on a pair of jeans and one of Harry's hoodies to protect him against the chill. Back to Harry, his eyes were focused on the horizon, where a strip of lighter sky was beginning to emerge above the terraced rooves and chimneys.
Harry must have made more noise than he thought he had because suddenly Draco turned, eyes wide, and Harry noticed, for the first time, the cigarette resting lightly between Draco's fingers and sending smoke curling into the frosty air.
'Did I wake you?' Draco asked, his voice soft and raspy.
'No, I'd be waking up about now anyway; I was just surprised you weren't there,' Harry said, sliding into the chair next to Draco and curling warm fingers around Draco's cold ones.
Draco leant to the side, resting his head lightly against Harry's arm, before taking another long drag on his cigarette.
'I didn't know you smoked,' Harry muttered, stroking his fingers absently through cold, soft hair and inhaling the scent of Draco's cigarette smoke and finding the scent oddly comforting.
'Not a lot,' he muttered, as he turned to press his icy nose into the side of Harry's neck, 'just when I can't sleep.'
'Why couldn't you sleep?' Harry asked, picking up the packet of menthol cigarettes that lay on the table and turning it over in his hands.
'Because I've gotten used to this, to being here with you and I don't want it to end. I don't want to go back to school. I don't want to be in a place where everybody hates me and I have to pretend we're just friends and we have to creep around behind everyone's back,' Draco said, finally looking up at Harry with an expression that was completely unguarded.
'Let me try one of those,' he said suddenly and Draco raised a sceptical eyebrow at him.
'Gryffindors don't have filthy habits like this,' Draco responded dismissively; with a shake of his head he leant forwards again.
'I'm not going to develop a habit because I try it once,' Harry responded with a roll of his eyes and he slid a cigarette from the packet and rested it between his lips. He was surprised just how minty it tasted and found himself thinking that it was, in fact, rather pleasant.
With a shrug, which clearly said, don't blame me, Draco withdrew a silver lighter from his pocket and flipped it open, holding it up to the end of the cigarette. Harry sucked the smoke deep into his lungs, enjoying the cooling feel of the menthol for about two or three seconds before he began to splutter and cough.
'I did warn you,' Draco said, arching his eyebrow in amusement.
'It's fine,' Harry retorted. Draco failed to suppress a smirk as Harry stubbornly took another draw on his cigarette and managed not to cough. He really couldn't understand why Draco would choose to do this but there was no way he was going to allow it to beat him.
They fell into silence again and Harry watched the curls of smoke, mesmerised.
'It's going to be okay,' Harry said finally and Draco looked across at him from beneath his fringe. 'We'll find a way to make it work, and we'll be back here on Saturdays, that's not too bad, is it?'
'I know,' Draco said resignedly. 'I just…' he trailed off, looking down at his feet.
'You just, what?' Harry asked gently, dropping his mostly finished cigarette to the ground and reaching out to tilt Draco's face up to meet his.
'I've become rather accustomed to sleeping next to you, I don't want to go back to sleeping alone,' Draco admitted, looking anywhere but into Harry's eyes.
The sentiment was so sweet, so unexpected and so un-Draco that Harry couldn't help himself. He shuffled forwards, ignoring the awkward angle, to press cold lips together.
'I'm not looking forward to that either,' he admitted and was pleased when silver eyes looked up into his own, seeking reassurance. 'But we will figure it out, Draco, I promise,' he whispered.
Draco's smile was dazzling and Harry sought his lips once more, elated that he had been able to reassure him.
'A Gryffindor promise,' Draco said, closing his eyes and resting his forehead against Harry's. 'It's as good as done.'
* * *
The morning passed in a whirl of coffee and packing, activity punctuated by brief kisses and lingering touches, as Harry tried to commit as much of Draco to memory as he could. Once they were on the train, their intimate familiarity would have to stop and he knew that he would struggle to keep his hands off of Draco at a time when he was sure to be feeling nervous about taking up his new position.
Harry finished his packing long before Draco and sat himself cross-legged on the bed, determined to 'help' as Draco endeavoured to whittle down his extensive wardrobe to the things he absolutely needed to take.
'We're going to be back on the weekends,' Harry said with mild exasperation, as Draco pulled what had to be the fifth pair of jeans from the wardrobe.
'There is no way on this earth I am taking fashion advice from a Gryffindor,' Draco shot back with a withering look and Harry couldn't stop himself from pulling a face. It was a testament to how much more laid back Draco was these days, that his only response to Harry's childish face-pulling was to poke out his tongue and return to his task with a small smile on his face.
'What am I going to have to do?' Harry asked suddenly, flopping back against the pillows and voicing the concern that had been chasing its tail in his head for the better part of an hour.
Draco paused in the folding of his Quidditch gear to fix Harry with a questioning gaze as he raised a rather suggestive eyebrow.
'I really hope it's never case of have to,' Draco purred and Harry frowned at him for a moment before realising what he was saying and throwing a pillow in his direction, which Draco easily avoided.
'I meant as Head Boy,' Harry clarified, exasperated. 'I was never a Prefect, I have no idea what you guys did, except get to use the fancy bathroom.'
'Well,' Draco started, dropping his neatly folded robes into his trunk and sitting on the edge of the bed. 'We had to patrol the corridors after curfew and make sure everyone was in bed; we were able to punish minor infractions but mainly we were there to support the younger members of the house, to help them to settle in and be someone they can talk to when they can't talk to the teachers.'
'Oh,' Harry said, slightly surprised. He wouldn't admit it to Draco on pain of death but he hadn't thought for a moment that Draco would have taken his Prefect duties seriously. Listening to him, though, he could hear just how committed he was to the position.
That was before, he told himself, when he had assumed that Draco was nothing more than an arrogant bully and he had certainly been proven wrong on that front. So, it really shouldn't surprise him that many of his other assumptions would be wrong too.
'Don't worry,' Draco said, clearly mistaking Harry's contemplative moment for concern. 'You won't have any students to shepherd; your job will to be liaise between the Prefects and the teachers,' he said with a smile and a reassuring pat to the thigh. 'Anyway, I'm sure McGonagall will go through all of this with you when you get to the castle and I'll be there to help you if you have any problems,' he offered.
The yelp of surprise that Draco issued as Harry pounced on him, pinning him against the bed, was quickly smothered when Harry covered Draco's mouth with his own. The kiss was fierce, a frenzy of lips, tongues and teeth and when Harry finally pulled back both boys were gasping, chests heaving.
'What was that for?' Draco asked, as he lay on his back, eyes closed, and his fingers came up to touch his own lips.
'Saying you'll help me,' Harry said simply and immediately he felt foolish. Springing up from the bed, he shrank down his trunk and slid it into this magically enlarged rucksack, refusing to look back at Draco. He knew that if he did he would flush and Draco would ask why, and he knew that he didn't have the answer.
He had no idea why Draco's offer to help was so reassuring and so surprising. All he knew was that the confirmation that Draco would continue to be there, continue to support him, was all the comfort he needed.
They were out of the door with a full hour to make the trip to King's Cross, deciding that they would much rather get there early and slip unseen onto the train before crowds of excitable Hogwarts students turned up with nothing better to do but point and stare. This was rather fortunate as, no sooner had they reached the other side of the park, Draco stopped in his tracks.
Harry's stride faltered and he turned to look at Draco, concern on his face; he wondered whether now that the moment had actually arrived, Draco might refuse. Draco's face, however, was a picture of confusion as his eyes raked over Harry's body, forcing a shiver from him as he stood under that intense gaze.
'We've forgotten something, wait here,' Draco said; abruptly he turned on his heel and walked back towards the house, leaving a confused Harry to stare in his wake.
It took only two minutes for Draco to reappear, jogging back towards Harry at a casual pace, but in that time Harry managed to try and reject six or seven plans to get Draco to Hogwarts. These ranged from extremely 'persuasive' means, to wondering if he would be able to immobilise Draco so that he could Floo him to Hogwarts forcibly.
'What did we forget?' Harry asked as Draco stopped in front of him, unable to rein in his curiosity as to what they could have possibly forgotten that wouldn't wait until the weekend.
Harry groaned softly when Draco opened his hand to reveal two gleaming badges—one golden and marked with an 'H.B', the other deep red. They had been sitting in a little wooden box on Harry's bed side so that he wouldn't have to think about them until really necessary. Still, he didn't protest as Draco took a moment to pin first one and then the other to a section of his jumper which would be hidden by his jacket and out of view of any passing Muggles.
'There, very shiny,' Draco asserted, beaming at Harry as he smoothed down his jacket and Harry could see the pride glowing in his eyes and fuck, he loved the charming, peculiar, idiot and he was totally and utterly screwed.
'Thanks,' he muttered warmly and then inwardly, 'I love you.'
The walk to the train station was completed mostly in silence, with only the occasional reassuring brush of chilled fingers as Draco's nerves apparently began to get the better of him. This worked well for Harry as he struggled with his most recent revelation, turning it over and over in his head, trying desperately to understand how it happened.
There was no question that they had become very close in the last few months and Harry had been comfortable when he thought of the whole thing as a mixture of friendship and sexual attraction, but this was different. This was gut twisting, achy, want and need. This was a realisation that if he were told he could only see one person for the rest of his life, he would choose Draco without a moment's thought.
Just like that everything had been turned on its head and Harry had gone from warm mutual affection to being out there on his own, having no choice but to put his faith in Draco and pray that he wouldn't rip him to shreds, and he still couldn't understand where the blind faith to brave this vulnerability was coming from.
Harry wasn't even aware that they had reached King's Cross until Draco pulled him roughly into a side alley and pressed him firmly against the wall, mouths coming together and tongue pressing forward, begging entry to Harry's mouth. Harry gripped at the wall behind him for support and quickly submitted to Draco's rather forceful request.
By the time Draco pulled away, Harry was caught in a position somewhere between confusion and arousal. It wouldn't take much for someone to discover their hiding place and this was both thrilling and terrifying to Harry but, if Draco was willing to risk it, then quite frankly, fuck it. He surged forwards recapturing Draco's mouth and slowing the kiss, deepening it until he managed to draw a longing moan from Draco's throat.
When they broke apart again, Draco looked thoroughly dishevelled and his kiss-swollen lips hitched into a beatific smile that took Harry's breath away.
'I know that I was worried about something but I really can't remember what it was,' Draco said breathily, leaning into Harry and burying his face in his jacket. Unable to resist giving Draco the comfort he clearly needed whilst he still could, Harry brought up his arms to circle Draco's shoulders and dropped a kiss onto the top of his head.
'Then my work here is done,' Harry said, smiling into the blond hair and inhaling deeply, allowing Draco's scent to comfort and reassure him once more. The location was far from pleasant, hidden from the main street by a large dustbin. The alleyway was cold and damp and the smell of wet cardboard and day old Chinese food from the adjoining restaurant surrounded them, but at that moment they could have been anywhere and Harry wanted nothing more than to continue holding Draco.
'We should get going,' Draco muttered, his tone reluctant. 'Otherwise we will have to make our way through swathes of your admirers to get to the train.'
Harry gave a moan of protest and clutched Draco even tighter to his chest, causing Draco to chuckle slightly.
'C'mon,' he insisted gently, tugging Harry away from the wall. As he stepped away, the chill, the damp and the stench of the alley rushed into the space he had left and it took every shred of Harry's not inconsiderable willpower to stop himself from pressing against Draco once more and Apparating them straight back home. Back to where they could just be themselves and no-one would be watching, scrutinising and judging them.
As they slid through the barrier onto platform nine and three quarters, the sight of the scarlet steam train filled Harry's stomach with a cold sense of dread. Looking across at Draco, he could see that he too had visibly paled and he immediately pushed away his own apprehension.
At twenty past ten the platform was still deserted. The only person in sight was the guard, who made sure that people entered the Muggle part of the station in a reasonable way and even he was sitting in his little guard hut with a copy of the Prophet spread open on his knees as he sipped at a mug of something warm and steaming.
Throwing caution to the wind, Harry grasped Draco's hand and rubbed soothing circles on the back of it with his thumb.
'C'mon let's get on with this,' Harry said, gently tugging Draco towards the front carriage and Draco trailed along behind him, obedient for once.
Harry hadn't known what to expect from the Prefects' carriage, so he would have probably been surprised whatever he found. Still, he hadn't expected the open space with the large squashy armchairs and sofas grouped around. Large jugs of coffee and tea sat on a coffee table in the centre along with a plate of biscuits.
As Harry stood, taking in the new environment, Draco slid past him with a small smile and set about removing and resizing his trunk and moving around the compartment like he was supposed to be there. Harry stepped over to look out of the window, watching as the first couple of families arrived on the platform. Shiny leather trunks and nervous expressions identified the small dark haired child as a first year.
'I don't ever remember being that small,' Harry said quietly, as the window fogged with his breath. 'Hey, Draco, take a look at this,' Harry called, turning to him, but whatever thought he'd been about to share dribbled out of his mind as he caught sight of Draco.
He stood facing Harry with a curious expression on his face, having just thrown his robes over the nearest chair, whilst his sweater casually dangled in one hand. Trousers hung low on his hips, exposing the angular hip bones and Harry could barely suppress the urge to kneel in front of him and lick his way across the smooth plains of his stomach.
'What is it?' Draco asked, coming to stand next to him and peering through the window. 'Harry?' he asked, stroking a hand down Harry's arm when he failed to respond.
'I, uhhh…' Harry's brain was fuzzy and his mouth was dry as he looked at Draco standing before him half naked. He reached out trembling fingers and trailed them across a pale collar bone, swallowing hard and trying to remember how to talk. He had seen Draco naked many times but there was something about seeing him so exposed and perfect in this unknown setting that caught Harry like a punch to the gut.
'Are you alright, Harry?' Draco asked with a knowing smile, stepping forward into Harry's personal space until Harry could feel the heat radiating from him even through his clothes. 'Is there something I can do to help you, perhaps?' Draco asked, so that Harry could feel his breath ghosting across his neck.
Finally snapping out of his daze, Harry grabbed Draco by the wrist and pulled him towards the bathroom.
'What are we doing in here?' Draco asked innocently as Harry backed him against the door.
'Shut up,' Harry breathed, pressing forward, eager to once again taste the warm bitterness of coffee on Draco's tongue. Draco gave a little yelp of surprise and Harry took the opportunity to slide his tongue past parted lips and in to the cavern of Draco's mouth. Long fingers slid around his neck and it was Harry's turn to moan when blunt fingernails scraped under his t-shirt and across his back.
Releasing Draco's mouth, Harry attacked the smooth pale skin of neck and collarbone before sinking even lower and dropping to his knees. His fingers were just working open Draco's jeans when he heard the sound of a door sliding open followed by the heavy sound of a trunk being dragged across the floor.
The groan that issued from Draco this time was one of pure frustration. Harry allowed his head to fall forward, forehead resting against Draco's warm stomach as he tried to will away the hardness now making his own jeans uncomfortably tight.
'Fucking perfect,' he muttered and then realising just how awkward their situation was: 'What the fuck are we going to do now?' he asked, looking up at Draco and recognising a hint of panic in his voice.
'You were the one who dragged me in here,' Draco said poutily, crossing his arms across his bare chest. 'Are you telling me that you didn't have a plan?'
'I had a plan, it was a very good plan and I didn't hear you objecting to it,' Harry huffed. 'I just hadn't thought that far ahead,' he admitted bashfully.
'Ahhh, so what we have here is a beautiful combination of Gryffindor bravery, impulsiveness and stupidity?' Draco asked, smiling indulgently down at Harry and stroking a hand through his hair.
'Hey,' Harry exclaimed indignantly.
'Keep your voice down,' said Draco in a harsh whisper, and pressed his ear to the door to try to ascertain if they might have already been discovered.
'So what are we going to,' Harry asked, dropping his voice.
'Well, one of us is going to have to go out there and distract them and…'Draco was cut off by a light rapping on the door.
'It's safe to come out now,' came a quiet female voice and both Harry and Draco sighed with relief.
With a very sheepish expression on his face, Harry followed Draco out of the bathroom only to come face to face with Hermione, who was struggling valiantly to contain her amusement. Harry envied Draco in that moment as he swept past Hermione, offering her a grateful smile, and sauntered over to where his robes were still draped on the back of the chair as if being discovered half naked in a train bathroom was no more of an unusual occurrence to him than putting his shoes on.
'I sent Ron back into the main station to get me a Coke,' she explained. 'I saw your trunks there and came to a conclusion,' she offered smugly, obviously relishing in Harry's embarrassment.
'Thanks,' Harry muttered, moving to retrieve his own robes and deliberately keeping his eyes away from Draco.
'Not that I mind or anything, but if you want to keep this quiet you might want to exercise a little more caution,' Hermione said, turning to Draco with an almost Slytherin-worthy smirk.
'Don't look at me,' Draco countered as he effortlessly knotted his tie and straightened it.
Hermione turned to Harry, her lips pressed into a thin amused line and her eyebrows raised inquisitively.
'I'm just going to go and…' Harry pointed back toward the bathroom with the arm that wasn't currently draped with his heavy school robes and quickly ducked back into the small room.
When he emerged fifteen minutes later he had managed to regain some of his composure. The compartment was rapidly filling up now. Ernie Macmillan and Anthony Goldstein were standing in one corner, offering reassurance to a small group of what appeared to be fifth year Prefects.
Several of the girls, including Padma Patil and Hannah Abbot, had settled onto a few of the couches and were discussing their summers in hushed, slightly sombre tones. Draco was in the far corner, engaged in what appeared to be a somewhat awkward conversation with Millicent Bulstrode, whilst Ron and Ginny sat shooting angry glares at his back and Hermione tried, ineffectively, to redirect their attention.
It didn't take long, however, for eyes to start swivelling in his direction and then darting back to look at Draco and then back to him. Sighing internally, Harry set his jaw and made his way to where Draco was leaning gracefully against the wall and slouched next to him.
'Did you forget how to tie your shoes or something?' Draco drawled as he slumped against the wall and Harry was struck by a sudden realisation. The tone was one that he had heard a hundred times before, all contempt and challenge, but the warmth in his eyes and the hint of a smile on his lips erased any real bite that the slight against his intelligence could have carried. Harry was left wondering just how many times Draco might have insulted him in a similar way just for him not to get the joke.
'Bite me!' Harry retorted, knocking Draco with his shoulder and smiling, delighted, when Draco returned the grin.
'Harry, Millie here is my new counter part,' Draco explained, suddenly reminding Harry that there was currently a third member of their group and immediately he felt ashamed at his lack of manners.
'Congratulations, Millie,' Harry said warmly; catching Millicent's shocked expression, he broadened his smile in what he hoped was a reassuring manner.
'It's nothing to be proud of, really,' she said shyly and Harry found himself having to strain to hear the soft voice. It suddenly occurred to him that he wasn't certain whether he had ever even heard Millicent speak before.
'Why not?' he asked and he was surprised to see Millie blush.
'Well, there weren't many other choices, were there?' she pointed out sadly, 'and it feels a little bit wrong to replace Pansy like this, considering.'
Instinctively, Harry reached out a hand and squeezed Millicent's upper arm reassuringly, feeling an overwhelming need to try and comfort her.
'I know,' was all he could think to say, as he offered what he hoped was a soothing smile. Millicent, however, looked at him rather wide eyed as if he had just declared his intention to exhume Riddle's body so that he could be the surprise guest at his next teddy bears' tea party.
'I told you he didn't bite,' came Draco's soft drawl from next to him and finally Millie gave a small smile. Harry realised that he had never seen her smile before and he was left wondering how he had ever interpreted the lively, warm brown eyes as cold and aggressive.
Their stilted conversation was interrupted when the sound of the shrill whistle, that announced the train's imminent departure, sounded throughout the compartment and the assembled Prefects began to make their way towards the collected seating.
'What's going on?' Harry asked in an undertone as Draco used his elbow to guide him gently to where two armchairs sat as the focus of the clustered seating.
'Well, now that we're all here we gather around and the Head Boy and Girl introduce themselves and give a kind of speech about the coming year, anything we need to be particularly aware of before we set off to patrol the train,' Draco said, matching Harry's tone so as not to draw attention. Harry, however, simply stopped dead in his tracks.
'I have to give a speech?' he asked in a horrified whisper. 'A fucking speech? Why are you only telling me about this now, Draco?'
'Because, I knew had I told you about it before, you would have fretted about it right up until you were required to give it. This way you only have a few seconds to worry about it and since you always fly by the seat of your pants anyway, it wasn't like you were going to need preparation time,' Draco explained simply, pointing Harry towards his chair before arranging himself gracefully on the floor, leaning back against the arm of the nearest sofa.
Harry threw him his most pissed off glare but couldn't help but draw some comfort from the way Draco had eschewed the more comfortable seating in order to position himself as close to Harry as possible without being really obvious.
Hermione caught sight of his nervous expression and offered him a reassuring pat on his hand before standing up and addressing the group.
'Hello everyone, and welcome to the beginning of the Autumn term,' she said, effectively silencing the low hum of chatter. Harry didn't really hear what it was she was saying after that as his thoughts kept straying to what the hell he was going to say to these people and, occasionally, how long it would be before he would be able to run his tongue along the little patch of neck behind Draco's ear that he exposed when he propped his head lazily in his hand.
Still, he caught enough of what Hermione was saying to know that she had addressed the issue of the increased student body and the fact that due to tragic losses there were a lot of people who were going to need support this year, and that she hoped that they would all be able to rely on one another.
Then she was turning the floor over to Harry and he was rising to his feet, still with no idea what he was going to say. What could he tell them? He had never been a Prefect; he had no idea what it was that Hermione and Ron had done when they disappeared off for hours at a time to do mysterious Prefect-related things. Why had McGonagall asked him to do this in the first place, and more importantly why had he agreed to it?
There was a shuffle from his right and a highly polished, expensive looking loafer brushed casually against his trainers. He glanced across at Draco who was staring up at him, a confident smirk on his face, before realising that the Slytherin Prefects were all collected behind and around him, completely separate from everyone else. Everything clicked into place at that moment and, tapping into the indignation he felt at his boyfriend being shunned by his class mates, he began to speak.
'Well, I'm glad to see you all here,' he began, taking a deep breath. 'For any of you who don't know, I'm Harry.' He had to pause here when Draco snorted rather inelegantly and began to cough whilst Millicent thumped him firmly on the back.
'I'm sure you are all aware that I was not a Prefect so I'm going to be on a bit of learning curve myself here and I'm going to ask you all to bear with me whilst I get the hang of things.' He looked around at the assembled faces that looked back at him; there was awe, affection, curiosity and irritation in equal measure and he wondered how what he was about to say was going to be accepted.
'Professor McGonagall asked me to take this position, however, because in light of recent events, she was concerned about the harmony of the school. A lot of us have been hurt or have lost people in the war and it would be very easy for us all to begin pointing fingers, for us to redirect our anger away from those who have wronged us and towards more convenient targets.
'This is a problem which we are going to have to work particularly hard to combat this year. Because we must not stand for the same kind of prejudice and persecution that we fought so hard to rid ourselves of,' he finished, exhaling sharply.
'I'm going to step aside now and let you get on with your normal duties but if anyone has anything they want to discuss with either of us we will endeavour to help in any way we can.' With that he flopped gracelessly back into his chair and shot another look at Draco who subtly mimed a round of applause and gave Harry a proud smile, as Hermione distributed patrol rotas for their first week.
For the rest of the journey to Hogwarts the Prefects drifted in and out of the cabin, taking it in turns to patrol the train. Harry, however, barely had the chance to collect his thoughts, so inundated was he with questions. Everyone wanted to ask him something and most of those somethings led, eventually, to why he had been hanging out with Draco Malfoy.
Draco stayed away during these interrogations; according to the note which Hermione passed to Harry, Draco had decided to give him some space, going to talk with Nott. Still, as he repeated the same line about growing up and no longer being bound by childish rivalries for what felt like the hundredth time, he couldn't help but wish that Draco was there with him.
'So, you got Head Boy, then,' came a familiar voice from behind him, dripping with contempt. 'And here was me thinking you weren't interested in being the centre of attention.'
Resigning himself to having the conversation he had been dreading since the moment he stepped onto the train, Harry turned slowly to see Ron, arms folded crossly over his chest.
'Ron, please don't,' he requested, hoping that Ron might have respect for his position, even if he no longer had any affection for him.
'Don't what, Harry? I have a question for you, that's all,' Ron said defensively, though Harry could hear the smug undertone which always surfaced when Ron thought he was being really clever.
'Okay, what's your question?' Harry asked apprehensively.
'I was wondering how much Ferret-face paid you to keep him out of Azkaban and pretend to be his friend,' Ron asked, his face twisting into a cruel smile.
Pure rage surged through Harry's veins and his hands curled unconsciously into fists at his side as he struggled to maintain his self-control.
'First, don't call him that. Second, he didn't pay me to keep him out of Azkaban, I spoke up for him because he helped us; you know that, you were there,' he said slowly, as if explaining to a particularly stupid child.
'Finally, Draco doesn't need to pay anyone to be his friend, I'm his friend because I like him, because we get on well and because he was there to support me during the summer when things got hard, unlike some other people I could mention,' he spat bitterly, stepping aggressively towards Ron as he began to lose it a little.
'I can't fucking believe you, Harry.' Ron's face grew red at Harry's accusation, clashing horribly with his hair, and spittle flew from his mouth as his rage intensified. 'After everything I've done for you, after everything you put my family through…'
'Ron, that's enough.' Hermione's sharp tones cut through the tension. She had just walked back into the room with Draco and immediately she was situating herself between Harry and Ron and pressing her boyfriend backwards. Simultaneously Draco appeared at Harry's elbow and began to steer him gently away from the impending altercation.
'I can't believe him,' said Harry the moment Draco had pushed him down into a chair and sat down opposite him, leaning forward, elbows on his knees.
'What did you expect?' Draco asked with genuine surprise.
'He's never been like that before,' Harry protested feebly. 'I've never seen him like that before.'
Draco looked down at his shoes as if choosing his next words carefully but Harry, still riled from Ron getting up in his face, wasn't in the mood to wait patiently for Draco to compose his thoughts.
'What?' he snapped and Draco looked up, slightly alarmed for a moment before cool disdain flooded his eyes, making Harry shiver slightly.
'He's never been like that to you before,' Draco said bluntly. 'But in case you didn't notice, he's always been a bit of a prick.'
Harry was caught. His instinct was to defend Ron, no matter what he had done, but defending him against Draco seemed wrong somehow. Clearly sensing Harry's confusion, Draco ploughed on, his voice softening slightly.
'He's callous and cruel, Harry, he always has been. He tries to deal with his own insecurities by belittling everyone else and no, that wasn't what I did. I went around behaving like a perfect little arrogant tosser and expecting everyone to think I was wonderful because that was what was expected of me. I'm not excusing myself, just claiming that he is no better,' Draco pressed on, determined to make his point. Seeing that Harry was taking some time to consider this, he paused for a moment, giving his words time to sink in.
'I don't think he means it,' Harry offered weakly, thinking of the time when Draco had come looking for him on the train in the first year to offer him his hand in friendship and, right off the bat, Ron had laughed and sneered.
'I'm sure he doesn't,' said Draco softly, looking out of the window at the now dark countryside. Harry looked out at the night as well and wondered what his life would have been like had he just ignored Ron's childish remarks in the first year and taken Draco's hand.
The lights of Hogsmeade began to appear, twinkling in the distance. Brushing Draco's knee lightly to get his attention, he looked deep into liquid silver eyes and tried to silently covey all the words of apology, thanks and love that were struggling to escape his throat. The warm smile that curled the corners of Draco's mouth as the train began to slow was all the reassurance that Harry needed.
* * *
The Great Hall was all at once exactly the same and completely different. The tables and the golden plates and goblets were all exactly the same, as was the ceiling reflecting stars hanging in the frosty October night. The scorch marks that marred the stone in places were new as were the large sections of slightly paler stone that made up large patches on the back wall.
The thing that felt the most different, however, was the atmosphere in the Hall. He remembered walking into the room seven years before and being overwhelmed by the sheer magnitude of it all. As he took his seat, making sure that he had a good view of the Slytherin table, he realised that the whole space seemed a lot smaller than he remembered it.
He listened as the Sorting Hat sang a song about victory and unity and divided the first years, clapping each one regardless of the house they ended up in. His concentration drifted as McGonagall spoke of responsibilities to the dead and to themselves, as she spoke about the new structure and how the years would work. There were new professors to introduce and Harry was pleased to see that when McGonagall introduced the small shifty-looking man with an oily smile known as Professor Cannock, Draco didn't join in the polite round of applause and instead fixed him with one of his more disapproving glares.
He watched Draco blanch slightly and swallow heavily as the new Muggle Studies professor was introduced and when McGonagall mentioned that they also had a new Potions professor beginning this year due to Slughorn's retirement, Draco's eyes met his and they shared a sad look. Despite his absolute hatred of the man, Harry couldn't help but wish that Snape was back in his dungeon, swooping about like an overgrown bat, scaring the crap out of the first years and finding every possible excuse to deduct house points from him.
Still, he looked up when McGonagall introduced Professor Foley, a petite blonde witch with an easy smile, and informed the students that she would also be taking over as the head of Slytherin house. This immediately sent a shiver down Harry's spine as he wondered who would be the new head of Gryffindor. After all, there was no way McGonagall could continue in that position, but the idea of the man who had point blank refused to even consider teaching him taking over the house worried him somewhat.
He need not have worried, however, as McGonagall addressed this subject next, informing them that Professor Firenze would be taking over the running of Gryffindor, news which bought a few disappointed sighs from a cluster of Hufflepuff girls.
The feast was magnificent as always and Harry did his best to forget about the people at the other tables who were still craning their necks to get a look at him, and to forget about Ron and Ginny who were sitting a few people away from him, shooting him matching evil looks.
When the feast was over there was a massive scraping of wood on stone as everyone in the Great Hall rose to their feet. He looked longingly across at Draco as the Prefects began to shepherd the impossibly large first year class to their dorm rooms. He caught a slightly apologetic look on Draco's face as he swept from the room, leading a trail of nervous looking kids behind him.
'C'mon, we need to join McGonagall,' Hermione said quietly at his side and began to nudge him forwards out of the Hall. It wasn't like he hadn't been expecting this, he reasoned as he trudged towards the Headmistress' office with a thankfully silent Hermione at his side. It was just that he hadn't expected it to be as hard as this.
The day had been tiring and had tried his patience and frayed his nerves and he knew it had affected Draco similarly. All he wanted to do now was to curl up in bed with Draco and whisper reassurance and hear Draco return it, to lose himself in touches and kisses that would drag out for agonisingly long moments.
Apparently, Hermione could see his distraction and steered him effortlessly through the castle and up to McGonagall's office. She paused outside the door, laying a hand on Harry's arm to still him.
'We're here,' she announced quietly. 'Try to pay attention, won't you?' she asked; without waiting for an answer she knocked on the door and they were immediately called upon to enter.
Harry tried valiantly to keep his attention on McGonagall's words as he sat in her office and listened to the responsibilities and duties he would have as Head Boy. Patrol rotas that needed submitting once a week, meetings with the faculty that needed to be attended once a month. Apparently, Prefects were supposed to work as a liaison between the students and the staff and they were to act as spokespeople for the Prefects.
There was a long list of privileges as well, which included no curfew, and their own rooms as well as the normal Prefect bonuses but eventually he began to zone out. It had been a long day and it seemed far too long ago that he was sitting on the roof of Grimmauld smoking cigarettes with Draco. It was because of this, that when McGonagall rose to lead them to their rooms he was inordinately grateful.
He just wanted to go to bed, to go to sleep and then tomorrow would get here all the sooner and he could concentrate on finding a way to smuggle Draco into his room at night.
Their rooms sat in a long corridor on the third floor. There was a large shared common area in the centre where they could sit and relax or do their homework and their individual rooms lay through heavy wooden doors on opposite sides of the room.
Giving Hermione a friendly smile and a sleepy goodnight, he decided to leave his exploration of the main lounge until he was feeling a little more awake and headed straight into the room that McGonagall had indicated was his, closing the door behind him and leaning back against the cool wood.
The room was large and beautifully decorated with dark wood and white furnishings. A large four poster bed sat in the centre, heaped with pillows and blankets. On one wall there was a small grate, currently filled with a brightly burning fire and keeping the damp Autumn chill at bay. On the other wall, directly beneath the mullioned window, was a desk and chair.
Slowly, Harry began to remove his robes, folding them tidily and placing them over the back of the desk chair, even though Draco wasn't there to scowl at him were he to drop them on the floor. Retrieving a pair of pyjamas from his trunk, he pulled them on and slid beneath the covers, extinguishing the candles and expecting sleep to claim him pretty much immediately.
Two hours later Harry was still awake and staring up at his canopy. He felt foolish admitting it, even to himself. but his bed was too big, too empty and he wanted Draco.
What was making this distance all the more difficult was that as Head Boy he had in his possession the passwords to all of the house dormitories. He knew that with his Invisibility Cloak and the Marauder's Map he would be able to sneak down into the dungeons and into Draco's bed relatively undetected. The problem was of course that he wasn't sure whether he should really begin abusing his power within only three hours of obtaining it.
It took half an hour to convince himself that it was okay for him to use the password and that this wasn't the beginning of a slippery slope that would lead him to become the next Dark Lord. As soon as his decision had been made, however, he was out of bed, retrieving his invisibility cloak and heading out into the dark silent passageways of Hogwarts castle.
As he negotiated the multiple staircases and corridors he felt warm familiarity wash over him. There was something about the sound of the cloak flapping about his ankles and the crinkle of the map in his pocket as he padded through the castle in socked feet that reminded him of just how much of a home the castle had become to him.
Harry began to panic slightly at the creak of a door followed by the clack - clack - clack of someone climbing the stone staircase leading up from the dungeons before he remembered that he was invisible. Stepping aside into an alcove, he slipped the Marauder's Map from his pocket and quickly scanned to see who else had taken to night time wanderings.
He was just wondering if it would be better to confront the wayward student the way he was expected to, no matter how hypocritical it would appear, or to just let the infraction slide, when he located and recognised the dot. His smile broke into a broad grin as the map told him that Draco Malfoy was making his way towards Harry's current location.
Harry's initial thought was to throw off the cloak and lean casually, waiting to be discovered but, as his fist closed around the fluid material another thought entered his head. What would Draco do in a situation like this? HHH Releasing the cloak, he slid the map back into his pocket as silently as possible and crept towards the top of the stairs.
Draco was only three steps from the top when he stopped suddenly and turned in a slow circle, looking all about him. He tilted his head back; blond hair fell away from his face and the pale skin of Draco's throat seemed to glow with an ethereal beauty in the moonlight.
'I know you're there, Harry,' he said, suddenly causing Harry to jump. As he did so, his foot became tangled in his cloak and he tumbled backward, landing heavily on his back, knocking the air out of his lungs as the cloak slid off his head.
Harry let out a long, low groan at the pain now radiating from his back and he looked up to meet grey eyes that held both concern and amusement.
'Graceful as always, Harry,' Draco smirked, holding out a hand to pull Harry to his feet.
'How did you know I was there?' Harry asked poutily, rolling his shoulders to ease the pain in his back.
'I could smell your cologne, idiot,' Draco said affectionately. 'Honestly, it never ceases to amaze me that the Wizarding World decided to put their faith in you to save us all from a maniac.'
'Well, that's me cured,' Harry said indignantly. 'Here I was, creeping about because I couldn't stand to be away from you but the moment I run into you, you go right back to insulting me; I think I'll just go back to bed alone,' he huffed, but even he wasn't convinced by his performance.
'Aw, poor you, so very, very hard done by,' Draco mocked gently.
Thrusting his chin in the air with as much drama as he could manage, Harry span on his heel and stalked back down the corridor away from his boyfriend. Pausing next to a tapestry which hid a secret staircase, he finally turned to look back at Draco, who was gazing at him with wide 'wounded puppy' eyes and a small pout on his face; Harry's heart melted despite the deliberate manipulation.
'Are you coming or not?' he asked and was rewarded with Draco's most winning smile as he jogged to catch up.
'Hurry up!' Draco whispered, as he bounced up and down on the balls of his feet to stave off the cold whilst Harry let them into the suite.
As soon as the door was open they both rushed through and darted across to Harry's open door, eager to gain the warmth of the bedroom. Draco dived into bed straight away, burrowing up beneath the covers in a most undignified way and pulling the blankets up tightly under his chin.
'Hurry up, Harry, I'm fucking freezing,' he whined, as Harry took a moment to fold and replace his cloak and map carefully in his trunk.
Sliding beneath the covers he barely had time to settle before a very cold Draco was wrapping around him, leeching away his warmth.
'Fuck!' Harry yelped as very cold fingers slid under his pyjama top and pressed themselves to his torso.
'It's your own fault,' said Draco matter-of-factly. 'If you didn't run so hot I wouldn't be able to warm my hands on you,' he said, pressing his cold nose against the side of Harry's neck.
'I can think of another way to warm you up,' Harry said, in what he hoped was his most alluring voice as he rolled to face Draco. What he hadn't expected was for Draco to fall into fits of silent giggles.
'What?' Harry asked, rather affronted at Draco's sudden amusement. Draco, however, simply buried his face into Harry's neck and continued to shake with paroxysms of laughter.
'What? Harry asked again, beginning to smile, not knowing what Draco was giggling at but starting to find his laughter infectious.
'I'm sorry,' said Draco, gasping for breath. 'But that was so fucking cheesy.'
'Hmph,' said Harry, rolling away and folding his arms somewhat awkwardly.
'I'm sorry,' Draco said, still not quite suppressing his giggles. Harry still didn't relent, however. 'Oh, come on, Harry, I really am sorry.' Placing a hand on his shoulder he rolled him back. Harry put his best possible pout in place and was pleased to see Draco's face soften.
'I was trying to… y'know,' Harry said slowly, feeling his indignation slip away.
'I know,' Draco said quietly, dipping his head to capture Harry's protruding bottom lip gently between his teeth and running his tongue against it. He pulled back just long enough to ask, 'Do you forgive me?' before kissing Harry again.
His lips were firm and unrelenting against Harry's, tongue pushing down into Harry's yielding mouth. When he pulled back again, Harry's brain was slightly fuzzy from lack of oxygen and heightened sensation. He knew that he was supposed to be answering a question but he couldn't quite remember what it was.
'I'm sure you could convince me,' Harry said, uttering the first thing that popped into his head and hoping that it was an appropriate response.
'I'll do what I can,' Draco said breathily, before kissing Harry once more and he ceased to think at all. Draco's hands were everywhere, sliding under Harry's shirt, teasing nipples and tracing shapes on his stomach. Harry was aware of Draco straddling his thighs as Draco's mouth left his and began kissing down his neck and chest.
A wet tongue slid down his torso before the warm mouth latched onto his hip to suck lightly at the sensitive skin there. By the time Draco slid his fingers along the length of his cock, Harry was aching to be touched and he couldn't stop himself from thrusting up into Draco's fist as long fingers curled around his length.
Fisting his hands in the sheets, Harry screwed his eyes tightly closed, unable to stand the sensation but not wanting it to stop for a second. Draco dragged it out, switching between long hard strokes and short quick ones and the occasional swipe of his tongue over the tip. Soon Harry was left breathless and moaning as Draco repeatedly brought him to the edge, only to change rhythm and start again.
When the hand was suddenly removed, Harry's eyes snapped open. Draco sat over him, a picture of beauty. His pale skin glowed in the low firelight and his hair shone and rippled as he shook it from his face. His eyes burned like hot coals, full of lust and longing as they pinned Harry to the spot. Draco shifted above him, shuffling up Harry's body until he was level with his waist.
Draco placed two fingers against Harry's lips and stroked them gently until the damp flesh tingled lightly from his touch. Pressing down gently, Draco encouraged Harry to take the fingers into his mouth. Harry complied, sucking on the fingers enthusiastically.
Slowly, Draco tugged his fingers free, releasing them from Harry's mouth with a slight pop and Harry watched as Draco reached behind himself. Harry could not see what he was doing but he could guess, and he looked on, enraptured, as Draco's eyelids closed and he arched his back at his own invasive touch.
After long moments, Draco's eyes opened and he once again locked gazes with Harry as he continued to fuck himself on his fingers. Harry longed to grasp hold of himself and bring himself to climax as he watched Draco writhing so wantonly above him.
Harry wasn't sure whether this desire was obvious on his face or if Draco was as eager to move forward as he was, but it didn't matter because moments later Draco had removed his fingers and was taking hold of Harry's cock, positioning it at his entrance. It was here that Draco paused for a moment, quirking an eyebrow slightly at Harry, seeking his permission to continue. Harry only needed to give the slightest nod of his head before Draco was sliding downwards, surrounding Harry's cock with his impossibly tight heat.
Draco bit down hard on his lower lip as lowered himself onto Harry. Harry was caught somewhere between concern that he was causing Draco pain and a desire to thrust upwards, sheathing himself in Draco completely. Instead, he opted for remaining totally still, deciding with his admittedly incapacitated brain power that it was best to let Draco stay in control for now.
Slowly, the look of discomfort on Draco's face melted into one of pleasure and he began to move, sliding Harry in and out of him with relative ease. If Harry had thought it felt good before, this was nothing in comparison to how it felt now. Grabbing hold of Draco's waist, he began to snap his hips upwards to meet Draco's downward thrusts.
A low guttural moan started in Draco's throat at this and he threw his head backwards, placing his hands over Harry's. Draco guided one of Harry's hands forward until his palm was pressed against Draco's cock. Harry closed his fingers around the warm hard flesh and began to match his strokes to Draco's.
It did not take long for the heat to begin to pool in Harry's belly and electricity began to rake along his spine. Then, above him, Draco was arching into his hand and his release was splashing onto Harry's chest. The spasms of Draco's orgasm tipped Harry over the edge as well and he pressed his hips upwards, lifting Draco slightly as he emptied himself into his boyfriend.
Still joined, Draco collapsed down atop Harry and both boys lay there for a moment, sweaty, sated and buzzing as they waited for their thoughts to return to them. Harry's brain was warm and fuzzy. His entire existence narrowed down to only warmth and pleasure and Draco.
Draco was now sprawled out across him like a blanket. He wasn't even sure that Draco was still awake. The deep, slow breaths that skittered across his bare shoulder certainly sounded like those of someone who was sleeping.
He wasn't even sure why he cared if Draco was sleeping or not; it wasn't like Harry wanted him off or anything. As far as he was concerned, Draco was welcome to use him as a mattress for as long as he liked.
'I think I've died,' Harry was able to mutter at last, and he felt Draco begin to shake as he chuckled slightly.
'Well, I shall take that as a compliment,' Draco said with a lazy smirk.
The break in the silence seemed to call for a quiet scramble of activity on Draco's part as he rolled off Harry, ran a quick Cleaning Charm over them both and dragged up the blankets before nuzzling into Harry's side.
Rolling, Harry wrapped his arms around Draco, pulling him closer and inhaling Draco's familiar and comforting scent.
'That's better,' he mumbled, unsure if he was saying to himself or out loud.
'I completely agree,' Draco murmured, stroking Harry's hair out of his face and looking at him intently.
Harry wanted to ask him what was wrong, what he was thinking about, but sleep was closing in, pulling him down . Still, as he succumbed, he was certain that he heard Draco speak. In the future he would swear that he had imagined it, because it was obviously just wishful thinking that Draco had chosen that exact moment to tell Harry that he loved him.