A/N: I know these chapters aren't as exciting as the previous ones. But trust me, it's all for good reasons. It'll pick up soon enough. Plus, I'll be updating a lot more often.
Archer belongs to me!
Smartette belongs to Keira Pegasus!
The Smurfs belong to Peyo!
Kung Fu Panda belongs to Dreamworks!
I know I'm just rambling now!
On with the story!
Chapter Thirteen- Spells and Feasts
Archer sprinkled in a pinch of ground wormroot, muttering something in a foreign language. Papa, Smartette, and Brainy watched her. Papa and Smartette were in awe while Brainy looked bored. When Archer finished, a ring of smoke puffed from the cauldron. Then, a stream of light shot up, forming a shape above their heads. The light contorted into the shape of a dragonfly, buzzing around and zipping past their heads. Archer muttered something else, and the dragonfly transformed into a dragon, blowing fire and roaring. Then, it disappeared.
Papa and Smartette clapped. "Well done, Archer." Papa complimented.
"Thanks." Archer nodded.
"That was amazing!" Smartette cried in awe. "Wasn't that just amazing, Brainy?"
Brainy shrugged. "It's alright."
"Well, maybe you could teach me your way." Archer suggested.
No sooner had she finished her sentence, Brainy began mixing things in the cauldron and talking about how his was the proper way. But he didn't listen when the others warned him against a certain ingredient. The potion exploded, and everyone was forced to run outside coughing.
"Brainy!" Papa scolded. "That was the last of the wormroot!"
Brainy chuckled nervously. "Oh, really? Sorry Papa Smurf."
"'Sorry' won't fix the problem." Papa said sternly but gently.
"Don't worry, Papa." Archer assured. "Brainy and I will go gather wormroot while you and Smartette fix up the lab. Sound good?"
"Very well." Papa waved them off. "Brainy can show you where it is."
"Don't worry, I know." Archer assured, jogging off. Brainy was forced to sprint to keep up.
"How do you know where the wormroot is?" Brainy demanded.
"I've lived in this forest for a long time." Archer replied. "I know every rock, tree, and bush within a ten-mile radius."
"Oh yeah?" Brainy grunted as he jumped over a tree root and ran to keep up. "Exactly how long have you been living in the forest?"
"Almost thirty years to the day." Archer replied casually.
Brainy froze for a moment, staring. He shook his head to snap out of it and ran to catch up. "You're just smurfing with me, right?"
"Nope." Archer shook her head.
Brainy sighed in amazement. "So, Gargamel didn't create you?"
"Not a chance." Archer assured.
"Then where did you come from?" Brainy asked. "Obviously, you're not thirty years old. So where did you live before the forest?"
Archer stopped in her tracks. Brainy looked back and noticed a sad look on her face. Suddenly feeling guilty, he walked back, rubbing the back of his head with his hand.
"Sorry." Brainy said. "You can't blame me for being curious."
"Of course not." Archer agreed. "At least you weren't being nosy. And it doesn't matter where I came from; I'm never going back." Archer took a breath and restarted her brisk pace. "Come on, the wormroot's this way." She was gone before Brainy could ask any of the thousand questions ringing in his head. He scrambled to keep up and suddenly a branch slapped him in the face. He groaned and slumped to the ground. Archer came back and peered through the bushes to look at him. "Are you coming or not?"
"Just a minute." Brainy groaned, rubbing his head. Suddenly, he patted his head a couple times, realizing his hat was gone. "My hat! Oh smurf, my hat!" He crawled around frantically, searching the ground. Archer found the hat and picked it up. She noticed something inside and pulled out a folded piece of paper. She stared at it a moment before crumpling it in her fist and handing Brainy back his hat. He looked overjoyed to see it and immediately pulled it on his head. He waved off his behavior as his concern for the few hats he owned and hurriedly made his way to the wormroot. Archer looked suspicious, but followed.
Archer shut the door to her home and looked around to see if anyone was looking. She uncurled her fist and unfolded the paper in her hand. She read it aloud to herself.
"'It is easy to pretend we are strong. It is much harder to admit we are weak. A true friend, by loving every part of us, teaches us to love our weaknesses.' Wow." Arched breathed. She suddenly remembered something and ran to Brainy's book, still resting on the table from this morning. She flipped through it and realized the writing on the paper was the same as the writing in the book.
Archer whipped around to the door as someone knocked. She opened it to find Clumsy on the other side.
"Hey Archer." Clumsy greeted happily.
"Hi Clumsy." Archer smiled.
"Papa wanted me to get you." Clumsy said. "We got a surprise for you."
"You're overdoing it, really." Archer laughed. "You guys already smurfed me a house, all these gifts, and Tailor's getting me new clothes."
"It's our pleasure!" Clumsy assured. "Now come on!"
Archer laughed and followed Clumsy outside. "Hey, you know the book Quotations by Brainy Smurf?"
"Oh yeah." Clumsy nodded. "He writes all these books with quotations about himself."
"Do you remember this one?" Archer showed Clumsy the quote.
Clumsy's eyes widened. "Brainy's been looking all over for that!"
"It's so much more different from his other quotes." Archer noted. "His book is full of egotistical comments and boastful notes. But this, this is insightful, wise, humble..."
"Yeah." Clumsy nodded. "He thought of it after the Darkness Monster stole his glasses." Archer raised an eyebrow. "Long story." Clumsy waved it off.
"Then perhaps you can enlighten me about it at dinner." Archer suggested as they walked into the dining hall. "It's awfully dark in here, isn't it?"
"SURPRISE!"
Archer let out an animalistic yowl, leaped into the air and clung to the rafters like a cat. The Smurfs arched their heads to stare at her in shock and awe.
"We didn't mean to scare you." Harmony said sheepishly. Archer sighed in relief and jumped down, landing masterfully on her feet.
"We made a wonderful feast." Chef said. "To welcome out newest member to our family."
"You didn't have to do that." Archer smiled kindly.
"We always do it." Greedy assured. "We did it for Wild when we found him." As if on cue, the feral Smurf bounded forward and leaped into Archer's arms, licking her face affectionately. She let out a giggle and hugged Wild.
"Well, thank you." Archer said, smiling softly. "You're all too kind."
"You've done much for us." Papa noted. "This is the least we could do."
"Enough talking!" Baker called. "Let's eat!"
The Smurfs agreed and started lining up at the buffet table. Everyone piled food on their plates (Greedy had two balanced in each hand) and took a seat at one of the many tables set up outside. Archer spotted Brainy sitting with Papa and Clumsy. She made her way over, set her plate down, and tapped Brainy on the shoulder.
"Can I talk to you?" Archer asked. Brainy looked suspicious, but nodded. He and Archer stepped away from the crowd and Archer pulled out Brainy's quote. "I think this is yours."
Brainy took the paper and his eyes widened when he saw it was his quote. He patted his hat frantically and realized it was missing the paper.
"Did you read it?" Brainy asked nervously, stuffing the paper back into his hat.
"Yes." Archer admitted. "And I must admit, I've never read something so deep and impacting."
"Really?" Brainy asked, a little surprised.
"Mm-hm." Archer nodded. "You're pretty smart Owl Eyes. Even if you have an ego and jealousy problems."
Brainy frowned. "What are you talking about?"
"You didn't like that I supposedly showed you up in Papa's lab today." Archer explained. "I didn't realize how important being Papa's apprentice was to you."
"How did—"
"I've been watching you guys for thirty years." Archer said. "I know everyone here and how they act."
"Creepy." Brainy admitted. "But ok."
"I already know enough magic to not need a master." Archer continued. "I promise, I'm not trying to upstage you or replace you. I don't want the person I'm trying to protect to hate me."
"Protect?" Brainy cocked his head in confusion.
"You guys are the only family I have." Archer said. "I will protect you with my life."
Brainy stared for a moment before smiling. "You know, maybe we could exchange magic notes sometime? And don't worry about protecting us with your life. I mean, we can smurf our own against Gargamel pretty well."
Archer laughed. "They say owls are some of the wisest creatures on earth. I guess your name has more than one meaning." She punched Brainy's arm lightly. "See ya around, Owl Eyes." She jogged off to get her food, leaving Brainy behind. He let her words sink in a minute and smiled. He rejoined Papa and Clumsy to resume their conversation.
Archer took her food and sat with Smurfette, Smartette, and Sassette. Hefty, Gutsy, Grouchy, Tracker, and Greedy sat off to the side, talking and laughing. Nat, Snappy, and Slouchy joined them as Archer approached the girls.
"Hiya Archer!" Sassette greeted warmly.
"Hey." Archer replied, sitting next to the enthusiastic little Smurfling.
"How's the food?" Smartette asked Archer, tucking a strand of her deep auburn hair behind her ear.
"Pretty good." Archer nodded. "It's definitely different from what I usually eat in the forest."
"I can imagine." Smurfette agreed. "How could you survive out there and not be feral like Wild?"
"I only lived there thirty years." Archer noted.
"Then where did you live before the forest?" Smartette asked.
Archer frowned at her food.
"Yeah, and where'd you get that smurfy tattoo?" Sassette added.
Archer's fist clenched and her free hand covered her tattoo. "None of that matters. I'm never going back where I came from and this tattoo is a painful reminder. Subject change, please?" The girls were quiet for a moment.
"Um, how'd you get the bow and arrows?" Smurfette asked.
"The bow was a gift." Archer explained. "I usually make my own arrows from carved sticks, feathers I find in bird nests, and obsidian rocks from the volcano nearby. I carved the obsidian into arrowheads. I do have some arrows with stone arrowheads from Tracker and Camper."
"Hoppin' Hares, that's cool!" Sassette said.
"Yeah." Archer nodded. "I go to the volcano every two months or so to get more obsidian."
"May I accompany you on your next trip?" Smartette asked. "I could use some of the ash and pumice stone for my experiments."
Before Archer could answer, a loud belch rang out. The girls looked over at the boys, who were laughing uncontrollably.
"Nice one, Guts!" Hefty laughed, giving Gutsy a high-five.
"That was nothing!" Grouchy scoffed. He gulped down his smurfberry juice, waited a moment, and let out a burp. The boys laughed again.
"Gross." Smartette groaned.
"You boys are so rude!" Smurfette snapped.
"Yeah!" Sassette agreed.
Suddenly, the loudest belch of all rang out. The two groups froze and stared at the source. Archer put a hand to her chest, clearing her throat.
"Sorry." Archer said sheepishly.
The boys busted out laughing.
"That was smurfy, Archer!" Nat laughed.
"Not bad for a girl." Snappy nodded.
"You guys are disgusting!" Smurfette snapped.
"Aw, smurf off Smurfette!" Snappy waved her off. He pulled Archer closer to the boys. "Can you do that again?"
Archer held up a finger and took a couple gulps of her water. She paused and then let out a belch. She and the boys laughed. Each of them took turns drinking and then burping, laughing all the while and trying to best each other's burps.
"How did you get so good at this?" Grouchy laughed.
"See, when you live in the forest, manners isn't that important." Archer smirked. "Why keep it in?" She burped again, followed by a small hiccup, causing the boys to howl in laughter.
"And I was thinking that Archer could use some guidance from a master such as yourself." Brainy suggested. "Or from me, your brilliant apprentice."
"That sounds very nice." Papa nodded. "She does seem interested in magic. And she's good at it. Which makes me wonder where she got those powers?"
"She may be named Archer, but I think she should've kept the name Mystery Smurfette." Clumsy noted.
"Indeed." Papa nodded in thought.
"Pappy Smurf!" Sassette whined as she, Smartette, and Smurfette approached the boys.
"The boys are having a burping contest again." Smurfette complained.
"Again?" Smartette exclaimed. "They've done this before?"
"Girls, if you can't stop them, why do you think I can?" Papa laughed.
"Archer's with them." Smurfette noted.
Papa, Brainy, and Clumsy stared. "You're kidding." Brainy guessed hopefully.
"Nope." Smartette groaned. "Archer's winning."
"This I have to see." Papa said, standing up. The girls led them to the contest and they stared. Archer was surrounded by the boys; all of them burped, drank, and laughed like drunkards, not necessarily in that order.
"Holy Smurf." Brainy breathed.
"Burping Boars, she's such a tomboy." Sassette scoffed. "It's like she's not even a girl!"
"Now we know why she doesn't have an 'ette' on the end of her name." Smurfette sighed.