A/N: For of all, I want to start by apologizing to all of you for the leave of absence I have had. My life has been quite emotionally up and down, thus creating the WORST writers block...ever.
I do hope you all can find it in your amazing hearts to forgive me. It's going to take me a while
to get back to a regular updating routine considering how my life is atm. But, I am going to do
my very best. Secondly, this is a crazy short chapter compared to what I am used to uploading.
I just wanted to put something up without compromising the story. Please please please, feel free
to comment and let me know if I am slipping or what. I have big plans for this, just going to take a
while to get there. Hugs and love to you all.
Oh and once again, thank you so SO much to AliceFan01 for being a wonderful friend and an amazing inspiration to keep this story alive. Her enthusiasm is infectious. AND thank you all
who have read since Pt 1 and those of you who are new to my BDS stories. Without yall I wouldn't
keep on keepin' on.
Disclaimer: I own nothing BDS.
It's alright to cry
Even my dad does sometimes
So don't wipe your eyes
Tears remind you you're alive
It's alright to die
'Cause death's the only thing you haven't tried
But just for tonight hold on
So live life like you're giving all
'Cause you act like you are
Go ahead and just live it up
Go on and tear me apart
Chapter 14 : Even My Dad Does
By 9 am I was awake and dressed, Roza had washed and dried our clothes, then had them waiting for us outside the bedroom door. Romeo had knocked and brough us coffee in bed, turning redder and redder when the sight explained itself. The boys and I were naked and to quote Rome, "I was lookin' thoroughly fucked". Connor and Murphy just grinned and happily sipped their coffee. I however, blushed and excused myself to the bathroom to get ready. Roza also fed us and left around 11 to go help her husband at the Silver Peco. She wasn't gone for more than half an hour when Noah corralled us all downstairs around the dining room table.
Carefully I sat down next to Murphy, across from Connor and Romeo. Noah silently sat at the head of the table, looking much better since yesterday. His faded blue eyes scanned us and taking an extra long moment to rest on me. I fought the urge to shift under his intense gaze. Instead, I met his eyes and held his gaze. My jaw twitched, his eye brow rose. I held my tongue as we waited patiently for him to start talking. For the next hour we sat in silence, listening to the tale of Noah's youth. All the heart-break and drama, the start and end of an epic friendship. It left Connor and Noah shook up, I remained quiet. My finger nails gently scraped against the polished wood of the dining chair I was sitting in.
Connor and Murphy were asking their father questions, but I couldn't get myself to focus. Not much of this made much sense right now. My head was pounding. One of them had said my name, trying to get me in on the conversation. But to my saving grace, my cellphone started chirping. Without hesitation I held up my finger and snatched it out of my pocket. With a few quick stride I was out of the room and down the hall into the sitting room. I looked at my caller ID. It was my mother. That sick feeling returned and I groaned, Michael said he'd call her...shit. I slid my finger to the side of the screen.
"Hey Mom..." I tried saying sweetly. I heard a sigh on the other end.
"Amelia, can you tell me why I got a phone call from Michael yesterday telling me I needed to get to Boston? I have tried to call you, and as always, you're not answering your phone. So, I am in an airport waiting for my connecting flight to get me there." My eyes were large and I covered my eyes with my free hand. Damn she didn't waste any time. "Amelia Leanna, what the hell is goin' on?" I let out a sharp breath and cast a look towards the dining room, meeting the curious looks from Murphy. I mouthed 'Mom'. He suddenly looked sympathetic.
"I uh, Mom I can't talk about it over the phone. When you get here we'll talk." I tried to sound more light-hearted but I knew she seen right through my bullshit. The other end was silent for a few heart beats before she spoke.
"Fine, but you got me scared right now. Is everything okay? Are you okay?" I chewed my bottom lip for a minuet, fingering my rosary for comfort.
"Yeah, I'm okay. I've been better but all things considered, I'm fine. Just call me when you land. I love you." I knew she wanted to say more but I was pressuring to end this conversation. Annette growled but decided to give me my way this time.
"I love you, honey. See you soon." I heard the line go dead and I took a second to check my missed calls. There were six of them from Mom and two others. One was from an unknown number. I felt my face twist before I re pocketed the device and re joined the men. They were silent as I sat back down and took a deep breath.
"Sorry, was my Mom." I offered up. Con and Murph nodded, giving me knowing looks.
"Everyt'ing alrigh'?" Murphy asked as he reached over and grasped my hand in his. I felt Noah's eyes on us, but I blocked it out. No I didn't hate the old man, but I still owed him a piece of my mind.
"She's on her way in. I'm goin' to tell her as much as I can without puttin' her in danger..." I chewed my lower lip some more, spotting Connor as he sat up. His brows were almost knitted together as he scratched his goatee.
"Ye never told 'er?" His surprise was shared between him and his brother. I sighed and shook my head. Guilt ate at my heart, twisting it's fingers into my stomach. My color drained before I untangled my fingers from Murphy's and stood. I looked at them both and then to their father. Noah seemed intrigued with the whole situation, but I had a feeling he already knew why. Despite his mistakes in the past he understood me almost better than Con and Murph did on some things.
"I had to protect you two." My words were simple and to the point. The voice leaving me was soft but firm. The twins sat back in their seats, sharing one of those knowing looks between them.
"But after we left.." Murphy stated and I shrugged. For a quick second I touched the back of the dark haired twin's neck.
"I was angry and wounded, but deep down I still loved you. I had to protect you, had to also protect Dad's memory..." The truth tumbled easily from my lips and with that, the subject was put to rest. "So, catch me up to speed...the guy responsible for Panza and Father Sibeal's death was your old friend?" Noah gave the slightest of nods and took a deep breath.
"Aye, dearest girl. Jus' got te find 'im now." I returned to chewing my lip. My feet carried me to the giant window draped with layers of knitted lace and satin. I gentle pushed it to the side and seen the overcast sky above us. Their voices drowned out in the back ground as I racked my brain, trying to wrap it around this situation. I personally didn't give a two shit about the personal aspect of this ghost from Noah's past. I just wanted to dispense our Irish brand of justice and move on. I wasn't under the illusion this would be the last monster we'd find to wander across our path, but I hoped it would be over soon enough for now.
Before too long, Connor and Murphy left to meet up with Michael to retrieve some of our stuff and start preparing for Mom's arrival. We'd set her up at Doc's for her stay here. I sent one of my credit cards with them too. It would be given to Michael so he can buy his ticket back home to start making preparations for my impending unavoidable absence. Romeo stayed behind to start preparing for dinner, he'd mentioned something along the lines of earning our keep. I was on my third cup of coffee when Noah joined me on the back patio. His clothes were all black and his long white hair was neatly combed and resting on his shoulders. But he looked years older, he looked tired. There was a sadness in his eyes that seemed to reach out and touch me. I shivered as the wind picked up and caressed my bare arms. The air thickened for a moment before the tension released as Noah spoke up.
"Storms a'comin, girl." He stood perfectly still, hands in his pockets. Noah's face was turned up towards the heavens. I took a sip of my coffee, taking a moment to look up.
"Indeed it is." I replied, not really knowing what to say back. Another long silence and I seen the elder man's shoulders relax. He took a step closer to me and I watched as his lips drew a tight line. We'd barely had a moment to breathe and now he wanted to talk to me. I knew it was going to happen, I'd even been looking forward to it. The past five years I'd had plenty of time to figure exactly what I would want to say...but seeing him now...I felt the balloon in my chest slowly starting to deflate.
"Amelia, I just wanted ye all safe." I wasn't much surprised by it, I'd already known this. "As a father, one who'd been absent most of t'er life..." He paused before continuing. "I felt like I owed it to 'em ta keep 'em safe. Ta keep you safe. I'd know te moment I saw ye wit' 'em t'ey loved ye. And you t'em." My heart started breaking slowly as I heard the uncertainty in his voice. My throat tightened and I held on tightly to my coffee cup. My shut mouth must have had him concerned because he went on. "Hope ye believe me when I say I can't express how sorry I am, dearest girl." My breath hitched. I blinked and ignored the moisture collecting in my eyes.
"Five years ago I would have gotten myself killed or gotten them killed. I spent all those years in between thinkin' of what I'd say to you if ever given the chance..." I stopped talking to wipe my thumb under my left eye. "But I see why you did it now. I'm ready now and you know this, they know it. I do love them and if it comes down to it, I'll die for 'em. I forgive you Noah, I do." I stopped speaking long enough to reach out and touch his arm, giving a gentle squeeze. The weight of the last remnants of anger left me in seconds, but I still had one more point to make. "But, if you ever try another stunt like that I swear to all that's holy I will hunt you down and kill you myself." Though I was completely serious, he rewarded my honesty with a small smile. With a chuckle he pulled out a cigar and lit it, puffing until it was smoking steadily.
"An' I believe ye, but it'll never happen again. They need ya to lean on, an' vice versa. We're a family born of blood, faith and bullets." I tried not to, but a smile forced itself onto my face as we stood there looking over the perfectly manicured back lawn. Above us the sky slowly darkened and thunder echoed through Boston. For a moment my heart skipped a beat, the thought of all the restless souls never put to rest walking the streets. I shivered and took another gulp of my hot coffee. I have learned through the years if something feels ominous then it most likely is. Especially the thunder.
"This is goin' to be bad, isn't it?" I asked in half whisper, knowing Noah would hear me. My hazel eyes looked up to see his blue ones fixed straight ahead. He gave a nod and chewed the cigar. The slow movement of his hand perplexed me. For a moment in time he looked his true age. Noah looked worn down and weary. He plucked the cigar from between his teeth and flicked the ash off it. I was painfully reminded that the legendary 'Il Duce' was indeed human and old. Mortal and would too pass from this world eventually, just like us. White hot fear shot through me. I wasn't ready to think about death for any of us. We might deal it out, but it's not a justice I am ready to answer to yet. Worse even, see one of the boys answer to.
"Jus' take care of em, 'Melia. We all must face our maker sometime. We live by te sword, we'll all die by te sword. Te world is changing and it's crimes. People have no respect for one anoth'r. It needs it's Saints, rebirth by fear an' justice." He paused to take a long deep drag of his cigar. I felt as if the air touching me was turning into ice. His words reverberating deep into my core. It was truth, oh so sad but true. "My body has gotten old an' me trigger fing'rs are ready fer rest..." Now he looked to me, sad knowledge trying to transfer to me. I blinked and knew he was preparing for the end. A quiet acceptance. He knew it, there was a certainty within those eyes. I didn't doubt him. He'd seen too much to not know. But the defiance I was well known for flared up. If he got hurt or died, Murphy and Connor would be devastated. I set my jaw and squared my shoulders.
"I guess we'll have to make sure you get more naps then. Don't talk like this to them, Noah. They still need you." I was gruff and enforced my words with a reprimanding look. The older man just sighed and shook his head. I knew they still needed because there will never be a day where I feel like I don't still need my Dad. It angered me to think he was possibly just ready to accept whatever fate happened upon him. Hell no. We would fight tooth and nail to keep this family together.
"Which is why 'M speakin' wit ye, 'Melia. My boys are grown an' have learnt everyt'ing tey are ever gon'ta learn from me." I shook my head and cut him off, side stepping away from him.
"No. I don't accept that and neither would they. We are going to figure this shit out and we're going to all walk away from this. You are goin' to be around a long time to be a pain in my ass, ya understand? That's that. They need you." My hand was clasped tightly around my cup, slightly shaking. He took note of this and a frown etched itself deeper into his face.
"Nev'r said I wouldn't fight, jus' preparin fer te inevitable. Not afraid of it. When te Lord calls me home, I shall go baring all te fruits of te labor he's asked of me. Migh' not be this storm, but eventually it will get me. When it does happen, ye'll need to keep em goin' girl." I sighed and nodded.
"You know I will, Noah. Always." I almost jumped when I felt his hand rest on my shoulder, I hadn't seen him move. He squeezed firmly and flicked the cigar once more.
"Thank you. You're a good woman, m'boys are lucky. I just have one more t'ing ta ask of ye..." I gave him a small smile, trying to understand him the best I could from his perspective. After everything we have been through it was too painful to imagine how losing their father would effect them. But, I trusted Noah because we were alike. No matter the cost we'd always do what we'd have to do to protect the ones we love. We were kindred spirits this way, and for that I would humor him in whatever request he'd ask of me.
**Ed Sheeran - Even My Dad Does**